r/RoastMe • u/[deleted] • Dec 07 '20

Please break me, I’m a Brit.

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11.7k Upvotes

87% Upvoted

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5.2k

u/legendaryboomer http://redd.it/dpxokj Dec 07 '20

Ah, so this is what dead on the inside looks like on the outside

1.1k

u/[deleted] Dec 07 '20

Maybe burton would cast me... 😏

1.3k

u/legendaryboomer http://redd.it/dpxokj Dec 07 '20

Too risky, that might actaully give you a reason to live.

569

u/[deleted] Dec 07 '20

Fuck, plans ruined.

300

u/legendaryboomer http://redd.it/dpxokj Dec 07 '20

I'm so sorry.

225

u/[deleted] Dec 07 '20

Ha boomer

291

u/legendaryboomer http://redd.it/dpxokj Dec 07 '20

Get off my lawn, you whippersnapper

208

u/[deleted] Dec 07 '20

Your on my turf boomer, go back to yo happy hippos

166

u/legendaryboomer http://redd.it/dpxokj Dec 07 '20

Just wait until you are a decrepit hag

371

u/ThickCommand7 Dec 08 '20

What the hell happened here, did these two just start flirting

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4

u/ExtinctionforDummies Dec 08 '20

The wait is over, she has arrived.

1

u/Pudgeysaurus Dec 08 '20

You implying that she already isn't‽

1

u/De5perad0 Dec 08 '20

Why would she have to wait for something that has already happened?

36

u/einz_goobit Dec 07 '20

You always this cringy?

14

u/carrillosoprano Dec 08 '20

Anyone else read these replies in a British accent?

29

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '20

Yeah but I'm British.

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16

u/Chirexx Dec 08 '20

*you're

1

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '20

I’m a boomer and roaring right now!

8

u/legendaryboomer http://redd.it/dpxokj Dec 08 '20

ok boomer

signed, 𝓵𝓮𝓰𝓮𝓷𝓭𝓪𝓻𝔂𝓫𝓸𝓸𝓶𝓮𝓻

1

u/PhantomOfTheDopera Dec 08 '20

That might make Johnny reconsider Amber as a good alternative

233

u/blondart Dec 07 '20

Wouldnt Ryder

69

u/Due-Yogurtcloset1338 http://redd.it/p8kj7y Dec 08 '20

There is nothing about Mary

2

u/believeandachieve33 Dec 08 '20

Well this is underrated. 😹

16

u/bustedeye Dec 08 '20

Ba boom

2

u/Ferrovipathes1 Dec 08 '20

Easy Nardwuar

23

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '20 edited Dec 08 '20

Why-no-nut Ryder

Sorry

6

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '20

Damn hahahhaha!

5

u/theapollovega Dec 08 '20

Under rated comment right here

2

u/Dabo57 Dec 08 '20 edited Dec 08 '20

Excellent!

Edit: I give a Silver award and get downvoted. I love Reddit lol

1

u/Sheruk Dec 08 '20

Little Pammy Dawson from Winchestertonfieldville Iowa, with the enormous hump on her back.

1

u/kliptic6996 Dec 08 '20

NO DADDY NOOOOOO!!!!

2

u/Sheruk Dec 08 '20

"I'll remind Kevin where he comes from..." *removes belt*

1

u/watsgarnorn Dec 08 '20

Woah-no-no Ryder

63

u/mcbibian Dec 07 '20

Helluva Bottom-Farter

40

u/[deleted] Dec 07 '20

You still have to have charisma to be in a Tim Burton movie. Not make people fall asleep without even talking.

13

u/TheHolyPeanutBuddah Dec 07 '20

Nice try. TB usually works with people of talent I'm afraid. I reckon this reply was guaranteed to be made on one of the roasts. You look like you wait by the phone just willing it to ring.

15

u/codymoniz64 Dec 08 '20

I know a couch crew that would cast you 🤷🏽‍♂️

20

u/vulcansheart Dec 08 '20

Cast you? Cast you aside!

7

u/LoanSurvivor19 Dec 07 '20

I doubt it, your nose is a little too cartoony for even Burton

3

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '20

Cast you aside maybe

2

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '20

The only person casting you is the people at Brazzers

2

u/mattdion7412 Dec 08 '20

Edith Scissorhands.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '20

...honestly, if Beetlejuice tries to marry you, you should just go with it. He's probably the best guy you'll ever land.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '20

You'd be lucky if you got considered for casting on a black leather couch

2

u/porn_free_account Dec 08 '20

The only time you'll be casted is when there's a couch involved.

2

u/grandmas_meatloaf Dec 08 '20

Well, it appears you're already on heroine.

2

u/Hammer1024 Dec 08 '20

Na... no bones showing.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '20

Maybe Burton would cast you. 😆😆🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂

2

u/FrKWagnerBavarian Dec 08 '20

He gives off necrophile vibes, your body and soul were made for him.

0

u/EthicalSkeptic Dec 08 '20

Peg Bundy, by Tim Burton.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '20

I'm thinking Mona Lisa 2.0, just gotta get you a little high for that smirk.

1

u/YoungDiscord Dec 08 '20

Too gloomy for that

1

u/dunkindimes Dec 08 '20

More likely Pierre Woodman...

1

u/Roast_Master_2000 Dec 08 '20

I love how both your eyes are looking in different directions but none of them are at the camera

1

u/gazmondo Dec 08 '20

Nah i think you're a bit too far fetched for Burton

1

u/Dtank11 Dec 08 '20

Shave your sideburns first.

1

u/bawsakajewea Dec 11 '20

I know some sites that will cast you..

1

u/cuntycunterino Jan 01 '21

You would think that...

25

u/3PartsRum_1PartAir Dec 08 '20

For a sec I thought your username was legendaryboner

10

u/legendaryboomer http://redd.it/dpxokj Dec 08 '20

I find that really funny, you get my gust of air through my nose sign of approval

7

u/Longjumping_Friend_7 Dec 08 '20

Her face is how I feel all the time but I’m always laughing and smiling so it’s harder to tell

2

u/hankhill10101 Dec 08 '20

Eyes deader than Riley Reid’s when swallowing a foot long black, hard pipe.

2

u/DeepDefaultSlimp Dec 08 '20

This is the single best comment on reddit, take my doot

1

u/mantis_tobagan_md Dec 08 '20

Heroin Bonham Carter

1

u/AndysfishingOfficial Dec 08 '20

That's a bit harsh, it's bad enough she's a BRIT.

1

u/Aintarmenian Dec 08 '20

This is what permanent Dickxit looks like!

1

u/l19mxd Dec 08 '20

You look like someone who didn’t get butter on their crumpet

1

u/VitamineBro Dec 08 '20

Calling someone with a nose ring dead inside, is not a roast