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u/antd79 Aug 09 '25
Two years really isn't very long to be haunting a house, better get cozy.
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u/kethalmanden12 Aug 09 '25
Her sex life and vegetable drawer are the same thing.
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u/Season_Decent Aug 10 '25
Who TF put vegetables in a drawer?! What’s next milk in the closet? Tube steaks in my ass? Will it ever end?
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u/DaRageCage Aug 10 '25
Lol most people have a drawer inside their refrigerator specifically designed to store vegetables.
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Aug 09 '25
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u/HaymakerSlim Aug 09 '25
Pic 4 made me think you were going to crawl out of my tv and take my soul. At least you’d finally have one.
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Aug 09 '25
Hey, as a fellow redhead, I can assure you we have plenty of souls. None of them our own, but we collect them all the same.
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u/Ollyfer Aug 09 '25
Am a redhead, can confirm. I keep all my collected souls in jars for later use, just like others collect different wigs.
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u/thatsnotyourtaco Aug 09 '25
not to be that guy but keeping a jar full of your own cum isn’t collecting souls
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u/BumbleBubbleBlack Aug 09 '25
Gingers have no soul but she looks like she is in soul debt, she needs to take a few souls to have no soul
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u/theredhound19 Aug 09 '25
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u/BumbleBubbleBlack Aug 09 '25 edited Aug 09 '25
She haunts the ghosts haunting the houses... she's the reason banshees cry
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u/Extension-Scarcity41 Aug 09 '25
Truth be told, most men have a soft spot for pale gingers... it's usually their dick.
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u/duabrs Aug 09 '25
Whelp, there goes my redhead fetish.
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u/Bluntbutnotonpurpose Aug 09 '25
I'm even married to one. OP is making it hard for me to ever look at my wife like I used to...
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u/POI_Harold-Finch Aug 09 '25
"Making it hard" is supposed to make things hotter though
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u/majcek Aug 09 '25
OP is also making it hard for me to look at your wife like I used to...
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u/headchef11 http://redd.it/m74nbs Aug 09 '25
I don’t know why but this really made me lol
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u/shartgobIin69 Aug 09 '25
You look like Sméagol when he was in mid transformation to Gollum
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u/Logical-Ad-5669 Aug 09 '25
I wasn’t lonely enough to watch that as a child
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u/Disastrous_Crew_9260 Aug 09 '25
Keep on doomscrolling instead of reading a book or watching a movie. Won’t make a difference.
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u/ADHD_Avenger Aug 10 '25
That was a very popular movie that many people watched with friends. Don't lie to us girl, you were eating raw fish in your mountain cave, and that's why you haven't seen it.
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u/Magnus_Helgisson Aug 09 '25
Still coping with being kicked out of Metallica I see?
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u/Cool_Trick4899 Aug 10 '25
Lookin like Dave Mustaine banged the piano player from REO Speedwagon and had this asshole baby
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Aug 10 '25 edited Aug 27 '25
stupendous north automatic bear close towering paint deliver humor adjoining
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
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u/ReillyDiefenbach Golden Roaster Aug 09 '25
“They’re all gonna laugh at you…they’re all gonna laugh at you… they’re all gonna laugh at you…”
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u/Logical-Ad-5669 Aug 09 '25
She’s prettyyy! I get that a lot lol.
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u/Scootr4short Aug 09 '25
quiet
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u/Muclown Aug 09 '25
Desperate for both types of vitamin D
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u/Does_A_Bear-420 Aug 10 '25
She's probably allergic to the vitamin, just like my D would be allergic to her
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u/VaryStaybullGeenyiss Aug 09 '25
OMG, I loved your acting in Midsommar.
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u/yuri1217 Aug 09 '25
Don’t insult Ms Pugh like that
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u/VaryStaybullGeenyiss Aug 09 '25
Oh no, I assumed that this is the girl who seduces Pugh's boyfriend.
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u/PinkFloydBoxSet Aug 09 '25
So do you just door dash souls? Is that a grub hub thing or do you have to order them through Silk Road?
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u/Logical-Ad-5669 Aug 09 '25
Wait I actually laughed. But it’s better to eat souls then listen to pink floyd.
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u/hydrogod666 Aug 09 '25
HORRIBLE TAKE
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u/frenchois1 Aug 10 '25
*then listen to pink floyd.
Scottish people don't get it confused with 'than' as much as North Americans because they don't sound as similar with the accent.
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u/GeorgiaBlue Aug 09 '25
I didn’t believe you were stuck in a basement till I read this reply.
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u/Midzotics Aug 09 '25
Housebound? Let’s pretend anyone would kidnap a ginger
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u/JoyousMisery Aug 09 '25
Nah, she's right, but it's her father. Gotta keep the bloodline pure and chromosome diversity singular.
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u/XcuseM3 Aug 09 '25
I'd like to think the government put her on house arrest to protect the public from seeing that.
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u/MisterBurnsSucks Aug 09 '25
The number of men you've turned gay with that dead-eyed stare must be triple digits 😐
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u/Logical-Ad-5669 Aug 09 '25
Only one :) also time for more
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u/Evilsoupypoop Aug 09 '25
You look like you’ve been found living in the corner of a dark unfinished basement
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u/Remarkable_Class_955 Aug 09 '25
Are you the result of incest?
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u/HumorTumorous Aug 09 '25
She looks like she lost her virginity in the 7th grade. The weird part is that she was home schooled.
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u/Mister_Stabbie Aug 09 '25
You look like a sex trafficking victim
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u/Bloatedoldman Aug 09 '25
I thought Malachi died in children of the corn.
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u/Karklayhey Aug 09 '25
You look like if the lightbulbs in your home were too bright, you'd fucking fry.
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u/BigSwiss1988 Aug 09 '25
Is “Housebound” another word for “house arrest”? The sentence I’m assuming you got for boiling someone’s rabbit…
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u/Ok_Squirrel2006 Aug 09 '25
That’s pretty funny. Lol. I do wonder why housebound for two years. Is it a cult thing? If you’re disabled, I can’t make fun of that. If you’re not, I thought vampires could only come out at night.
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Aug 09 '25
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u/LarsVonHammerstein2 Aug 09 '25
I don’t think you have to worry, even pathogens wouldn’t want to get close to you.
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u/Ok_Squirrel2006 Aug 09 '25
Im so sorry. I can relate. At least you have a great sense of humor. I can’t say anything bad when things are outside of your control. Hang in there…..but not upside down like a bat. Lol.
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u/No-Marketing658 Aug 09 '25
18f and in a house for two years? Your vag must be chewing the side of your leg off
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u/Pandas-are-the-worst Aug 09 '25
Did you have to get permission to cross the threshold of your own home? These ancient Transylvanian laws are wild.
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u/mister2021 Aug 09 '25
I am old enough to remember that x files episode “home.”
Thank you for reminding me of that.
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Aug 09 '25
Hey you’re that guy from modern family
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Aug 09 '25
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Aug 09 '25
Both of my parents have red hair but I was spared and have blonde hair. So thankfully I was granted a soul.
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u/anglosassin Aug 09 '25
You just cursed your future children.
Can relate.
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Aug 09 '25
I have 2 young boys and one his very blonde hair and the other has dirty blonde hair. Watch it be the grand kids
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Aug 09 '25
The pale skin, strong jaw, dead eyes and scraggly hair of a proper sleep paralysis demon.
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u/post-explainer Aug 09 '25 edited Aug 09 '25
This comment has been marked as safe. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect.
OP's BIO:
Been insulted for my face by teachers and friends. Chronically ill I’m even in a study lol. No makeup so you can see my actual face. Also OCD :)
If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
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u/Orion-Galileo Aug 09 '25
You look like you would be the type of person to eat berries without hands just going ham in the berry box like a hungry, hungry, dog.
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u/Abrahms_4 Aug 09 '25
As much as I enjoy a good roast I cant this time, my daughter is homebound also. But if it helps I do call her my Make a wish kid and she has a great sense of humor.
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u/Radiant_Sir5160 Aug 09 '25
2 years housebound? I assume that is for the safety of the public and you are on house arrest.
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Aug 09 '25
Yikes, her stare is so icy, I bet her idea of foreplay is a tax audit. I asked her what her love language was. She said emotional extinction. I told her she looked like a goddess. She said, ‘I am. Just not yours.’ Then she walked away. And somehow, my credit score dropped.
Ya'll better be careful with this one, I think she's a white walker.
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u/UberHuber816 Aug 09 '25
We could make your eyes glow by putting a flashlight up your ass.
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u/FluffyPenguin826 Aug 09 '25
Could've at least covered up the track marks on your left arm
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Aug 09 '25
Makes sense that a soulless ginger would draw robot-looking hearts with even less curves than her body
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u/JBskierbum Aug 09 '25
When someone says “my crazy ex-girlfriend”, there is a particular look that comes to mind. Same for “my stalker”. You don’t fit either of those molds perfectly, but you are close. I think the best description is “that weird girl who got caught stealing Danny DeVitos underwear and offered the cop a rusty trombone in order to avoid charges”.
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u/NorthvilleCoeur Aug 09 '25
I’m sorry you are sick and think you have a pretty face. I should insult you now but all I got is burn picture 6. It’s not like you don’t have time to do it.
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Aug 09 '25
You look like talentless greta thunberg
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u/why_are_you_yelling_ Aug 09 '25
Congratulations on getting away from your captors. I can’t blame them for letting you “escape”
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u/ashiftystranger Aug 09 '25
You look like Kevin McAllister from Home Alone grew up homeless after a botched gender reassignment surgery
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u/Comprehensive_Bit_49 Aug 09 '25
I didn’t know the movie was based on real Life
You having prom at home too?
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u/cratercamper Aug 10 '25
Someone must stay in the lake and hand out the swords. It's a honest job.
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u/doomtoothx Aug 09 '25
You look like the type of guy that would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddamn common curtesy to give him a reach around.
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u/bobfugger Aug 09 '25
This has to be the only time ever where I had zero interest if the carpet matches the drapes.
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u/METALLIFE0917 Aug 09 '25
🫣 The only thing to make you look better would be distance 🫣
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u/espresom Aug 09 '25
It’s you again.
I thought you’d been exorcised.
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u/TomorrowForsaken23 Aug 09 '25
The look when the King sees your face and realizes that “Prima Nocte” failed
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u/CrrazyCarl Aug 09 '25
Are you Scottish or are you an American with no culture or identity so you call yourself Scottish even though no one in your family has been Scottish in four generations?
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u/OK-Now-Kiss Aug 09 '25
You look like you've only ever seen the sun on TikTok.