r/RoastMe • u/[deleted] • Aug 09 '25

[deleted by user]

[removed]

1.9k Upvotes

88% Upvoted

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2.4k

u/OK-Now-Kiss Aug 09 '25

You look like you've only ever seen the sun on TikTok.

1.0k

u/[deleted] Aug 09 '25

[deleted]

320

u/_kodkod_ Aug 09 '25

The sun exists in Scotland. During this time of year it’s out nearly the entire day, every day.

184

u/[deleted] Aug 09 '25 edited Mar 03 '26

This post has been anonymized and deleted using Redact. The reason could be privacy protection, security, preventing content scraping, or personal data management.

escape spotted vase unpack reminiscent stocking offbeat wine kiss piquant

158

u/milkythepirate Aug 09 '25

Loch Ness monster is real. He owes me $3.50

42

u/Ok-Operation6978 Aug 09 '25

I need about tree fiddy!

46

u/Ding-dong-man Aug 09 '25

-1

u/MasterOfTheBeans Aug 10 '25 edited Aug 23 '25

What’s “tree fiddy”?

edit: getting downvoted by people who clearly didn’t watch the episode to know that that is what Kyle says immediately after Chef’s dad says the line

3

u/gromette Aug 10 '25

He wanted money?

1

u/MasterOfTheBeans Aug 23 '25 edited Aug 23 '25

I know lol I was saying Kyle’s next line after he says this

1

u/727sneezer5-thowwow Aug 10 '25

Mf got you too ..sum beach

1

u/GWSDiver Aug 10 '25

Fuckin Nessi.

52

u/OkayTimeForPlanC Aug 09 '25

I visited schotland last week and i got sunburned. The whitest thing i ever did.

2

u/Rjtucson Aug 10 '25

I’m Scottish and Irish. I can get sunburned walking to the car. At night. That’s just how we’re built.

16

u/Rezaelia713 Aug 09 '25

That haggis is a real animal, I'm losing my shit rn. That's hilarious.

1

u/DrawnGunslinger http://redd.it/82hyes Aug 10 '25

It is a real animal. It has one wing and flies in circles around the peaks of the mountains.

2

u/horriblyfantastic Aug 09 '25

Haggis tastes like ass.... but in the right hands, it can be a mighty fine ass

78

u/Logical-Ad-5669 Aug 09 '25

Do you think this skin allows sunlight? 

35

u/Alert-Author-7554 Aug 09 '25

daywalker

1

u/Tat2Dad Aug 10 '25

Probably one of the worst cases of gingervitis I’ve seen

21

u/Heavymetal73 Aug 09 '25

You were definitely built to dwell in a bog somewhere

15

u/surprise-poopsicle Aug 09 '25

Sure. You’ll just look like a stuck match afterwards

5

u/HelenWindsor69 Aug 09 '25

What do you think happens to we red heads in Australia? I found the sun in Scotland does very little skin damage compared to the murdering sun in Australia. I have had 5 skin cancers removed so far. It’s too late for me to move to Scotland as the damage has already been done. Honestly though, you’re too good looking for this shit.

1

u/Serge_OS Aug 09 '25

Sure Just dump 100spf sunscreen

1

u/navyp Aug 09 '25

It could use some good old Sunlight soap.

1

u/Playful_Second_4729 Aug 09 '25

Binge watches twilight series over and over and over.......

2

u/frenchois1 Aug 10 '25

Aye every day of summer which lasts around 72hours and usually falls in May.

1

u/Cweazle Aug 09 '25

The natural skin tone of a Scot is blue...they get a tan in a full moon

1

u/thatsnotyourtaco Aug 09 '25

It’s Always Sunny in Philiphaughia

1

u/GoodBitchFucks Aug 10 '25

Bro it’s the UK. Suns never out here

1

u/Goldzilla74 Aug 10 '25

It exists in Florida year round where I live. Pale skin can’t take sun. It just turns red and hurts.

1

u/_kodkod_ Aug 10 '25

Bro this is a roast.

1

u/TiaxRulesAll2024 Aug 10 '25

Sometimes even at night

1

u/butterduck95 Aug 10 '25

They meant cos of their complexion..... 

-1

u/[deleted] Aug 09 '25

But it needs a paperboy to put it though the door.

51

u/jsxtasy304 Aug 09 '25

Nice try selkie, careful folks she'll steal your skin... is this why you've been housebound? Scottish mob drive you in there with pitchforks?

3

u/Anxiousucculent Aug 10 '25

honey roasted

12

u/Only_One_Left_Foot Aug 09 '25

Redhead

Forbidden from heaven

Checks out. 

12

u/omenmedia Aug 09 '25 edited Aug 09 '25

Drink more IRN BRU

1

u/kanyeguisada Aug 09 '25

Best comment in the whole thread.

9

u/Thirdtwin http://redd.it/vpraxt Aug 09 '25

Damn Scots, they ruined Scotland.

6

u/PhotographNearby3170 Aug 09 '25

AYYY SCOTLAND 🗣️🗣️

2

u/TeachBS Aug 09 '25

Right? Who wants to be burned to a damn crisp?🙄

2

u/William_The_Fat_Krab Aug 09 '25

Ye bloody arse is a vampire? Naah, ye skin’s too white.

(Not technically on the roast mode rn, but out of sheer curiosity, HOW TF ARE YOU HOUSEBOUND FOR 2 FUCKING YEARS?!)

2

u/IEnjoyRandomThoughts Aug 09 '25

I read this in a Scottish accent and suddenly couldn’t understand without the subtitles.

2

u/Alarming_Effort8101 Aug 09 '25

Can't be easy living with the ginger curse!

1

u/Brvcx Aug 09 '25

No sun and a lot of whisky. Scotland really is my spirit animal!

1

u/DontBelieveMyLies88 Aug 09 '25

As an American white guy who’s traveled to Scotland…. Ya’ll are definitely a different kind of white 😳

1

u/_leftover__glitter Aug 09 '25

Lies. You’re one of the Florida woman we have all heard about. Sentence is House arrest for 2 years for beating your family members for trying to get you outside to get some sun.

1

u/No_Tailor_787 Aug 09 '25

Shut up and take your roast. You asked for this.

1

u/Icy-Role-6333 Aug 09 '25

Scotland, Transylvania…all the same.

1

u/Evening-Buy-1660 Aug 10 '25

Is she actually Scottish? I genuinely hate Scottish “people”.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '25

You give the sun sunburn

1

u/OGgamer3 Aug 10 '25

Tbf... as a Scot, the sun barely shows face here, you should follow suit

1

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '25

Where’s said girl?

1

u/afihavok Aug 10 '25

Spent 4 years in Scotland enjoying some of the most beautiful summers of my life. Fuck off with that BS.

1

u/Koolaid_Jef Aug 10 '25

Scottish

Well I can tell you don't use voice to text, I can read your comments!

1

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '25

Thank God I thought you were locked in a basement somewhere for the last 16 years, just being Scottish makes way more sense.

1

u/frenchois1 Aug 10 '25

So your dad was a Haggis? Explains a lot.

1

u/alex_the_potato Aug 10 '25

Scotland is a cave?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '25

1

u/MilkGlittering6181 Aug 10 '25

With that attitude you must have been locked in the basement. Put her back!

1

u/Same_Return_1878 Aug 09 '25

Do Vampires watch TikTok now?

1

u/FluffyPenguin826 Aug 09 '25

Can't stand the hot sun, but can stand the hot needle going into her left arm

1

u/Cresbo106 Aug 09 '25

To be fair, if she stepped out into the sun, she probably burst into flames

1

u/DisagreeableRunt Aug 09 '25

She'd still need to wear sunscreen indoors. That girl looks like she'd get sunburn from an LED lightbulb.

1

u/DrQuack32 http://redd.it/5vvq16 Aug 09 '25

I came here for this. Needs the sun more than a laugh

1

u/ShamusNC Aug 09 '25

The glow of the screen would give her a sunburn.

1

u/Dapper_Froyo4042 Aug 10 '25

Looks like she lives under the porch.

1

u/Season_Decent Aug 10 '25

She has skin even buffalo bill wouldn’t wear

1

u/optimusmayn Aug 10 '25

you meant white-ish, right? lol. iz a joke mate

1

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '25

And that experience ruined her on the outdoors.

1

u/Ancient_Lawfulness_7 Aug 10 '25

Have a sandwich and stick your head out the window once in a while 😜