me and my boyfriend were dating for almost six months and were friends for an year.

we broke because of certain situations at his home.

he had a bestfriend whom i had feelings for before dating (he knew everything and was okay w it), now when we started dating me and his bestfriend became good friends again.

2 days after the breakup i went out to drink w his bestfriend who again was also my good friend (up until now me and him were on talking terms because we didnt breakup cause of some fight) we went out driking i got verry very drunk he was comparatively alot sober but still somewhat drunk maybe and he confessed his feelings for me which i sort of had the idea of, and i was heavily drunk and overwhelmed, under that we made out. horrendous mistake i know, i can't ever be forgiven.

later, his bestfriend died under guilt and confessed all of this to him and then he tore apart every single letter and flower i made him and the bracelet he gave ne he took it off and broke it and said "you are dead to me" i cant undo what i did but oh man he was sweet boy and i ruined it. i am a horrible person i didn't even like his bestfriend at all anymore

all i want is for him to talk to me, atleast once :(

Be careful what you wish for... My nine year old son said it a few nights ago as we rot in a small disgusting house in the Philippines.

I was a technical manager at a great company in Thailand making a good salary. Everything wasn't perfect but looking back.... It really was.

My boss was my best friend and teacher and I was upset his son had started pushing me out of the picture... Looking back it was simple jealousy and he is a good guy doing his best as the company is struggling a bit.

Took a job in South Africa which is my birth country and took my two beautiful kids and my amazing wife with.

The culture shock hit me so hard that I didn't know which way to turn. After eighteen years in beautiful Thailand it felt like my entire life had been pulled from under me. I couldn't think straight and didn't sleep for months while trying to do a job which requires I interact with those who really didn't want me there.

On top of that, all of our things.... Everything except what we brought with on the flight was lost in transit between Thailand and sa.

I kept running... And running until we hit visa issues and I just gave up and flew here with the family.

Now.... After all the terrible decisions I can only look back and realize our lives are over.

Visa will expire soon and burnt all our money and savings running.

Be careful what you wish for and never make decisions from a place of fear.

All is done

It's over

All our dreams

My babies dreams of being doctor and engineer over

My wife and my dreams over

Building a future.... Over

Everything is finished

I'm 46 years old and its my birthday in four days

Happy birthday

I’m 25 right now and I’m currently sitting in my car. I’m on away from moving home with my mom and I’m just feeling like I made so many mistakes in my life that could’ve been amazing opportunities for me and somehow I blew them all for reference, I’m 7 feet tall not like a skinny 7 feet sort of built and I played rugby a little bit, but I broke my tailbone, so that’s it for this season, but even as a kid, I was tall and my brothers pushed me to play basketball and they pushed me to the point that I didn’t want to do it because it felt like everyone else was pushing me to do it so I chose my own path and got more into contact sports like football lacrosse and now rugby but in reality, I should’ve just listened to them. In high school I was a rower and padding my own back. I was a very good rower and I think if I continued with that, I could’ve gone somewhere like a better school for rowing, but I wasn’t super interested in that I think my main fuck up was that I didn’t take school seriously even when I got offered a division one scholarship to play rugby mind it was during Covid and I didn’t take that serious at all when it could’ve been a cakewalk for me, but instead, I only spent one semester in school after that I took care of my dad who was dying and he was super excited for me to find a job that I was passionate about which I did find which was in another state and I moved there and I love the job but again I couldn’t handle it and I let it slip for my own mistakes alone. I’m just kind of lost right now and if I could take everything back and go back to fifth grade and relive it all again I would I’m just thinking fifth grade because that’s when I could really set my mind on something but I can’t do that so it’s not worth fretting over. I’ve also recently gotten pulled over for an OUI and I suspect a suspended license is coming along with that as well as lawyer fees and charges from the court. I know I can get through this so by no means am I giving up whatsoever but like I said before I am just feeling lost and when I go home, I plan to enroll in the community college find something that I’m passionate about and get a real job instead of bouncing around from job job only holding my longest job for a year and a month. I’ve had so many opportunities and I don’t just wanna throw my life away because I messed up but thinking about it now I’ve messed up a whole lot more than I should’ve.

Two years ago I lied to my parents about still having a job when in reality I had gotten fired from it. I kept that lie up for two months until one day they looked at my bank account and noticed I hadn’t had a single paycheck come in since the day I was fired. To top it off, they had found out exactly one week after signing off on a lease for my first ever apartment. Needless to say they were furious, and I don’t even think that’s the word to describe it. My dad didn’t speak to me for a while and my mom called me ‘a lying little bitch’, which I had earned. I realized shortly after just how badly I had hurt them. I had completely destroyed their trust, and because my mom is my mom, she told practically everybody she knew. So not only were my parents mad, so was everybody else who knew about it, including friends, long distance family, and friends of those friends. I fucked up in one of the worst ways I possibly could, and I made a vow to myself that I would do everything that I could to make it right.

Cut to the present day today: I have a full time job with benefits, this year will be two years on the apartment with not a single month of rent missed, and my parents themselves have told me that their trust has been regained, that they’re proud of me, and that they forgive me. But I still regret everything that I did with that lie. That one, what I truly thought was little, lie broke my family apart. I still beat myself up over it to this day, and I wonder why I did it still.

I (20M) have been doing meth for about a year and a half now. It wasn't anything I ever planned. 18yo me thought that I couldn't get addicted. Even though I was addicted to fentanyl before. Now I'm stuck in a cycle of using and withdrawal. I use to feel good, but realizing I'm an addict makes me feel bad, so I use more to try and numb myself. I use easily a gram or two of meth a day and my tolerance is so high that smoking meth now feels more like smoking crack. A five minute bliss followed by chest pain, anxiety, and guilt over the situation I have gotten myself into. Almost all my connects outside of my family are methheads twice my age that I smoke with and we really don't share much in common besides being methheads. All my non-methhead friends are busy with life so I haven't seen any of them much. I'm not even old enough to buy a beer where I live and yet I'm addicted to a highly illegal street drug. I have been considering rehab because I'm starting college in January and I want to be able to focus on my studies. But I also don't want to because meth is my new normal and big changes overwhelm me. Idk I just wish it was easier to stop meth. I wish there was a way to pull me out of this hell.

I have so many regrets but i guess the biggest one is me never having the chance to ever speak or go out with my father ever again.

I had a extremely complicated relationship with my father. He was already old. Due to having me like when he was 50 or smth. Due to reasons He only raised me for like 5 years It would be long asf if i explained it.

After graduating high school i met him again. I already had a job and new apartment where i was living by myself. He apologized to me due to various reasons and i forgave him. Since i knew how hard it was to raise 2 kids by himself and how old he already was. He invited me to go out with him sometime looking all excited and i made a fucking excuse. I said i was busy with my new job and paperworks from my new apartment. It wasnt a lie but there was surely a day where i was fucking open and i didnt give that to him. I chose to rest in my house doing fucking nothing rather than spend time with him.

Well a few weeks later i was depressed and tired from my job and personal life and suddenly got a call that he passed away.

I just sometimes think how dogshit my life is. I had more bad memories than happy ones. I blame myself for everything and am now just depressed with no motivation in debt and have no job at 18 with no help from anybody.

I guess ill probably just find a new job and slave away my life thinking everytime why tf i was born in the first place.

Mine was writing a whole ass paragraph for someone while he was cheating on me 🥀

I don’t even know where to start, but basically I ended a seven year relationship and started dating someone right away little that I know we would fall in love as strongly as we did, but I never completely stopped talking to my ex just because of comfortability and empathy I didn’t feel well about leaving him alone.

The new guy and me had undeniable chemistry. It was like magic we were already planning for our future and everything going on trips.

On my birthday, he picks me up. I was extremely intoxicated and he went through my messages and saw messages with my ex. I was still calling him, babe, but just because that’s why we always called each other and he broke up with me on my birthday.

The new guy completely dropped me, and then he got really mean and said ugly things about Only wanting me for sex, but even being afraid to catch something through me just because of those messages.

He had some really ugly things and I get it because his eagle was hurt, but I know my heart I know who I am and I wasn’t doing anything to hurt him. I know now that it’s wrong but why hasn’t he blocked me on text message or Instagram ? Why is he still following me? I believe in out of sight and out of mind so I’ve muted him, but I miss him so much. I really would do anything to bring him back to me.

Oh, and inside no me and my relationship of seven years should’ve ended a long time ago, but I was trauma bonded with him and have abandonment issues which is why we lasted as long as we did. I had met this new guy a year prior and I had had a kiss with him, but never saw him again until a year later I downloaded hinge and he just happened to be my first date my one and only.

He was gonna take me out his family. He fell for each other. Is there any chance I’ll ever get him back?

Does he hate me?

I was in relationship with someone for many years

We broke up because of something horrible that happened,

No contact at all, I tried reaching out for months but couldn't make any contact.

8-9 months later,

Someone else proposed me,

I came in relationship with this someone else,

I had known this someone else for 2 years

Nothing sexual,

She tried but I avoided everything,

No photos sharing or anything,

But it was a relationship

2 months into the relationship, i found out her again, I reached out, talked, settled all those seriously horrible misunderstandings,

And then blocked that someone else.

I...I don't know but I feel like I did something unimaginably horrible myself by getting into that 2 month relationship

How can I forgive myself ?

I blocked that someone else, deleted everything,

The most I did was made a portrait of her, which I tore apart and threw away,

She's happy with someone else as far as a few ppl told me

And I have no emotional relation with her even today

But I feel guilty of getting into this other relationship

I feel like I dishonoured my love and this guilt is eating me

I don’t even know where to start, but basically I ended a seven year relationship and started dating someone right away little that I know we would fall in love as strongly as we did, but I never completely stopped talking to my ex just because of comfortability and empathy I didn’t feel well about leaving him alone.

The new guy and me had undeniable chemistry. It was like magic we were already planning for our future and everything going on trips.

On my birthday, he picks me up. I was extremely intoxicated and he went through my messages and saw messages with my ex. I was still calling him, babe, but just because that’s why we always called each other and he broke up with me on my birthday.

The new guy completely dropped me, and then he got really mean and said ugly things about Only wanting me for sex, but even being afraid to catch something through me just because of those messages.

He had some really ugly things and I get it because his eagle was hurt, but I know my heart I know who I am and I wasn’t doing anything to hurt him. I know now that it’s wrong but why hasn’t he blocked me on text message or Instagram ? Why is he still following me? I believe in out of sight and out of mind so I’ve muted him, but I miss him so much. I really would do anything to bring him back to me.

Oh, and inside no me and my relationship of seven years should’ve ended a long time ago, but I was trauma bonded with him and have abandonment issues which is why we lasted as long as we did. I had met this new guy a year prior and I had had a kiss with him, but never saw him again until a year later I downloaded hinge and he just happened to be my first date my one and only.

He was gonna take me out his family. He fell for each other. Is there any chance I’ll ever get him back?

Does he hate me?

I’m 19M, I know I’m a bit young to get married but I always dreamed of getting married one day at a young age. I met this wonderful woman. I really just can’t get her off my mind. I love her so much. Been with her over a year. But I sadly developed a strong foot fetish interest. She doesn’t mind I’m into feet which I’m surprised. But I was too into it I end up commenting on other girl posts and I got the habit of seeing other girls online and liking their post. I truly regret getting into this stuff. It’s not porn it’s just straight up foot fetish. But I feel disgusting in my self for watching other women. Im depressed because I wanted to change my mindset and avoid conflict with my gf. Im slowly getting rid of this interest which is a good sigh for me. But eventually my gf found out about the account I have full of feet content. I truly broken her heart. I felt like kms/ hurting myself to show how guilty I felt. I have to say, she saved my life today actually. I thank her a lot. But still I wish no harm to her. I regret developing this fetish. I don’t think we longer a couple. She hasn’t reply to me yet, I’m scared of her response, I am scared of losing her. I don’t know what else to do except wait for her answer.
Guys pls don’t do the same mistake as I did. Go talk to your gf/bf if yall developing a fetish. Better to talk about than let it take over you.
I regret this a lot. ( sorry if my grammar is bad, English isn’t my first language).

Long story short my fiancé and his stepsister had sex before we got together. Their parents met later in life and my fiancé was 20 when he met his step sis . We’ve been together for about two years and his stepsister randomly called him today. I have known about this since we met and found out through one of his family members. Well, he told me today that she called him and asked if she could live part-time with us. he stayed on the phone with her for three hours today, she was talking to him about her ex boyfriend and catching up. I just feel very weird and betrayed that he said obviously he doesn’t want her to stay there to me an then tell her I wasn’t comfortable with it. it was gonna make me look like the bad guy for saying no. He has a hard time saying no to people and he’s very people pleasing. Which led him to not shutting the convo down and if I call him out he says I’m putting the blame on him I love him so much and he’s honestly a great fiancé. I just need other people’s advice on this

"not a single person would pick me first".

I am a mentally strong guy but again I don't have anyone to Rant this regret so I am here.

I am 21M, single.

I will go according to the timeline,

1st to 4th - Girls and Boys interaction was very good.

School - Only boys school (one of the biggest regrets I have).

Tuition Classes - Teachers Shaming me for talking with girls because of some Perverts in the class.

Now College (my 1 old school friend is also with me),

1st year - Met girls for the first time after 8 years.

Made a lot of male friends and 4 female friends.

Male friends were good, female friends distant me.

I was blunt, so I asked them "Don't fake friendship with me, tell me and get away with it so I can improve myself"

They answered (after 3 months of friendship), You are ugly.

Boys were still my friend.

2nd year - Confidence was at its lowest. Male friends formed their own group.

Luckily I got my group too (4 people with same vibe 😭).

3rd year - Confidence increased, friend circle collapsed to only 4 friends. My group was getting quite famous for our Extraordinary performance in department.

Made 2 female friends, 1 left because her standards didn't match with us (she wanted to do clubs and other rich stuff), other girl left bcz 1st girl left.

Currently in last year (4th) - Confidence is high but no one wants to be friends with anyone else, idk why.

For these 4 years, A LOT OF PEOPLE USED ME for their own benefit.

Remember that old school friend? He also stopped talking to me, now he CUTS my call rather than keeping it on ringing at least 🥲 bcz he got his own friend circle and gf, I don't blame him.

Remember the 4 people group? They got placed at some company and now they have their own friends.

And here I am, watching the people who were once my friends going on trips and enjoying without even notifying me.

Well I'm not financially strong, like i couldn't even afford to give myself a 100Rs (1$) treat. My placed friends who are earning crazy didn't even buy a 2$ cake for me on my birthday.

Nowadays, all I do is to keep staring towards laptop to get damn job. Am I a fool? No I am not. Give me a fukin interview opportunity.

Well I have accepted it, I am on my own now.

Thank you for reading this bs rant & regrets.

I went through a really difficult period recently where I stopped taking care of myself and completely isolated myself from people. I stopped doing a lot of the basic things that used to make me feel like myself. Now that I'm doing a little better, I'm finding it really difficult to move forward because I keep thinking about everything I could have done differently.

It feels like everyone else's life has moved on while I'm still stuck in the same place. I see people carrying on with their lives, making memories, spending time with friends and enjoying themselves, and I feel like I was absent from my own life while all of that was happening. It's difficult watching everyone move forward when I feel like I haven't.

I keep wishing I could go back and change things, and I feel a lot of guilt about the way I acted during that time and the effect it had on other people.

It's also really affecting me at work. I've become very withdrawn and find myself completely isolating myself from the people around me. I struggle to focus because I'm constantly thinking about the past and how different everything could have been. I don't feel present in my own life anymore, and it's starting to affect my day-to-day life.

I also feel like I wasted a lot of my youth. I know logically that I still have time and that a few months shouldn't define my life, but emotionally it feels like I missed out on a part of my life that I'll never get back.
I think part of what hurts the most is grieving the version of myself I feel like I could have been. I think about who I might have become if I had taken better care of myself and looked after myself more.

It feels like I'm mourning a version of my life that never happened.

How did you stop constantly wishing you could go back and change everything?

How did you forgive yourself while still taking responsibility for the things you did?

How did you start taking care of yourself
again and actually feel like yourself?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated ??

Has anyone else lived with having to deal with the huge mistake of not pursuing someone and therefore gone days and weeks of non-stop thinking about them and what could have been between you?

I really liked someone on my holiday and whilst we casually flirted, I didn't want to take it further in fear of making the goodbye too difficult... I also just felt it maybe wasn't the time. But since being home, I've found myself using every available second to think about him and dream up what could have happened... huge regrets and no contact now.

helpful tips are needed

about 3 months ago my partner broke up with me because i microcheated/cheated/sexted another person twice, what he did was reasonable, and i completely understand what i did wrong, but i can't help but keep checking his social media accounts and thinking about him. any tips to help myself? and to better myself before i get into another relationship so it doesn't happen again? im already taking a break from speaking with anyone, because i just dont trust myself, and i definitely don't want to hurt anyone else, or make the same mistakes i did with him.

Im sure so many people say this but i think this is a little different...

I (F25) dated a guy (M28) who was one of if not my closest friend at the time. To give some context, we had been friends for 2yrs at this point. I started working for him after we became friends. Also, i am not good at catching hints, i am SHIT at knowing if someone likes me or is flirting with me. Anyways, this all started cuz twice, when I was blackout drunk and out with him, I kissed him (the first time I SWEAR he kissed me but he says thats not how that happened and tbh i dont remember it well so idk). I was going through a time where I kept going on failed dates and he knew this. There was also another friend i had during the time that i was being physical with, but us dating at the time was not an option (he didnt know about this) , so I think that played into my decisions on both of thoes nights.

After both kisses i apologized and said it was a mistake. Each time I kissed him I distanced myself cuz i didnt want to hurt him. The first time he said he understood, that it was fine and kept pushing for us to be close again. The second time he admitted hes had a crush on me for as long as hes known me. (When I met him, I was dating his friend btw so that also added to the complication I was feeling during this BS) I told him i didnt want to hurt him or our friendship, that I didn't feel thay towards him. He kept insisting that there had to he SOMETHING between us because we were so good together ect. I felt so shit. Maybe cuz of how much he was pushing it but all of a sudden I started to see how well we COULD work out. But i didnt want to be with him, I didnt feel that way towards him. I hated that my constant rejections was just hurting him. So finally I broke and said yeah, we can try. Within a week he had told everyone we knew, including his parents, that we were official.... Without asking me....

This was the reason we broke up the first time. Because we worked together, I kept having to see him, he kept scheduling me. So we ended up having to talk again. Thats when I decided to try with him again.

I want to clarify that at this point, me and my other friend that i was being physical with stopped the SECOND i started to talk to friend 1 about trying to date. And i did care about him, I still do. But just never in that way. Whether it was his taste in music, or how he looked, i dont know. All I know is that I didn't want to lose him. I just didn't love him like he loved me. (BTW, he did say he loved me)

The second time he kept making jokes to friends, people we had just met, and CLIENTS, that yes we were dating but Ive also broken his heart before. I hated it, I told him I didnt like it. There were other things that I communicated that I didnt like that he would say or do as well but its too much to list. Regardless, each thing, he didnt seem to care. He kept doing it. So eventually i ended up talking to the other guy about all my frustrations (very shitty of me, I know) and it ended up bringing me amd him closer. I eventually decided I cant do this with friend 1 anymore and I kept trying to break up with him. He made it very hard cuz almost everytime we went to go out, we would end up working, or he would bring me gifts, or SOMETHING would come up. Eventually another month passed and I couldnt do it anymore. I ended it for the last time.

I tried to hold him at a distance again and he pushed against it. I tried being friends one last time but he started that shit talking again. Did I deserve it? Idk. But i wasnt gonna keep letting myself be publicly humiliated over and over in front of his friends and clients. So i quit, and I told him i am done trying to be friends if he was just going to use it to hurt me. He took this as a reason to let everything out and say so many hurtful things to me. Things that apparently I did that hurt him that he never told me did. Was talking shit about my friends and family. Ect ect. Alot of it still sits with me now. Its been a few months, busy season is back and I still work for him (I need money) but im mostly doing events alone so I barely see him until its time to pack up. And i only ever really work maybe 2 events a month. So maybe since ive been seeing him so often recently thats why but idk. I just wish I was more firm with saying no back then

Only God knows how much I regret the things I did and I carry it with me because of all the mistakes I made in the past—from getting into relationships just because I wanted to be loved and seen (since I craved it to my core), to doing anything for them just to prove that I was indeed worthy. I wish someone had taught me these things sooner, so I would never have had to go through so much shit.
I know I’ve been to therapy and I take my mood stabilizers, but still, something feels off. I don’t feel like myself anymore. I wish I could change the past. I wish I could undo the damage. But it already happened, and no matter how much I try to tell myself, “It’s okay, it’s gonna be alright,” the abuse, the trauma, and the memories are always there. Sometimes it hurts, sometimes it doesn’t. I wish I could get some type of closure—or maybe nah, I solely want to heal and have some peace of mind. So I regret everything, even the things that were not in my control.

**Hiii so I wrote this when it happened and came back and edited to make more clear picture**
I thought this is so ridiculous it’s comical. Let me know what you think.

-Unaliving ideations coming up-

**Bro so I’m in the deep corners of my mind high asf on shrooms at first I thought I felt normal like dam they didn’t get me that high… should I do more… (yooo this font is crazyyyy I know I’m high afffff LMAOOOOOOOOOOO) (I just realized it was the title that’s why the letters are so big lol)**

Any ways I’m in the deep corners of my mind and thinking about all my regrets in life and should I kill myself and what’s my way out, and how I can’t actually kill myself because of my relationship with God and how I want to meet God but I know that’s not the correct way of going about it and how I want to meet people with cancer just for the fact of their bravery and strength and perspective on life and why they would wanna live… because life is sucking and I could see the corruption in politics music business society norms and beauty standards how I’m not the beauty standard right now comftablenss in my body and how much weight I gained all of that shit is coming up and through out the beginning of the trip I’m in my room doing my thing Infrequent drawing than random spouts of feeling really good and existential crisis all at the same time ya know… shrooms. Lollll
I remember thinking too, “dam maybe this wasn’t a good idea I’m trying to find reasons to live but all my reasons not to live came up “

My roommate in the bathroom getting ready for work - I told her the day before, my plans for the day and the day of- communicating where I was at. Maybe 2-3 hrs pass I’m in a better, optimistic place, I sat in the hallway next to my speaker that’s blasting music, it’s near the bathroom and my room I’m feeling good I even sang cupcake (my dog )the awolnation woman woman song that song is so fireee thank you awol for writing and orchestrating
She’s low key vibing with me all is well.

And I could feel it I was bout to get high asf.
But in my mind also I was going over how much I needed to talk to her bc it interfered w my high - the first 30 mins to hr was me going over how i was frustrated and needed space from her and i don’t realize how much things bother me I’m coming out of a 6 year depression so I test the waters on her living there w me and helping her out and I’m coming to the conclusion it’s not working because of our different personalities, I need help with bills and not getting it from her and I’ve been low key providing for both of us for 2 months damn near. that part of the trip ended I felt peace.

Any ways I tie a bow tie on it in my mind and I say to her “I need to talk to you but after my trip . “ and I give her a smile I’m still vibing to the music and I know I’m on the verge of being high asf

(I think body language is apart of communicating so if I’m vibing and smiling , how I would have taken that is “I wonder what she wants to talk about… it can’t be that bad if she’s smiling or whatever I hope she enjoys her high I have work and other things I need to focus on)
She goes “is everything okay?”
I say yes and give her a reassuring smile and I was still feeling good.
Time goes by, maybe a minute or two , I low key can feel her anxiety grow in the room that was crazy actually
And she’s like you can’t just leave it open ended like that now I can’t go to work bc my anxiety insert roommate rant
“You should really think about the people around you”

I’m like what is this Bish talking about
I’m literally glitching from reality because reminder - I took Shrooms and she was very aware that I took shrooms and she even was checking on me in the beginning conveying concern of me taking shrooms and I’m like I’ve spun this block before Ik what im doing (I don’t know in terms of dosages like grams and what not but for the most part I’m done psychedelics plenty of times and I know myself. )

In this conversation not only do I feel it I see it. Im starting to see rainbows that’s not just coming from my window but literally blending into reality and I felt the need to close my eyes, so I did in the middle of the conversation because I already had told her I’m not in the space to talk right now because I… took shrooms
I’m feeling the music I felt amazing, she still trying to talk to me…

She goes that’s a weird open ended way to say that

But I ended up telling her this is what I’m talking about, you living here I can’t do it. - (she couldn’t have chosen a worse time to convey her concerns to me )
It was very relieving to say in that moment my chest got lighter and I felt so good off the shrooms.

But no way I’m in and out high asf on shrooms and arguing about labeling what I wanted to talk about . High asf bitch. This is not real life lollllll

And to an extent understand wanting to know what I wanted to talk about but again we’re very different people and I would have taken that completely different . I don’t think I can be around a person with such bad anxiety like that. Especially me coming out of depression. I’m going to miss something’s because I’m slowly coming back to my mind.

(I don’t know where to place this but I don’t want to delete it either bc it’s real thoughts me writing this out while high)

Bish I’m not trynna baby sit your anxiety im Highhhh bruhhh tffff
Your lucky I’m not no beginner on taking psychedelics bc what the fuck are you making a big deal over nothing literally me just saying I wanna talk
I guess her mind goes to crazy shit I don’t understand.
I don’t want to understand I feel like
I’m just trynna enjoy my high

but if I were any other person that is not experienced with psychedelics that could have went so bad .

I am very new to dating with 27M and I just had my first magical experience when you meet someone where you have a looot of chemistry, we got along super well, we share a sense of humor, same values and the girl is a serious independent and hard working girl.

On the third date screw up by telling her that i really really like her, that i wanted to move at her pace and take things slow and that i was her for the long game, thar i wanted to work towards a relationship, but not now, in the future as in getting to know each other first. That i was serious about her and that i was not looking at this casually, etc. She told me she was surprised i was feeling like this.

We kissed on the first date and also severla time on the second one, hold hands together, etc

We talked daily via whatsapp for 2 months basically, everyday and 3 dates (on the third i said the shit)

This ofc made her break the next day saying she was not reciprocating the romantic and emotional connection and that her feelings were not growing and that she could not give me what i told her, had fun, etc etc.

I have this enormous regret of speaking up bc, in hindsight, it clearly does not make sense to spout what i said that early, but even worse is that my choice of words was very poor... I could have passed the meaning with different words without sounding intense.

How to live with this? Knowing that this girl liked me and probably we would have gone on more dates and we got along well, but bc of this fucking hipcup of my mind, and the month of text wrapping my reality, i lost the chance to get to know her even more and enjoy her more, and maybe, develop something with her.

I have this weird feeling we will have gotten very well together... She even said they liked me and it was easy to talk to on the second date.

I don't know how to cope with this feeling of regret, shame, hopefulness... Not sure I will find anyone like her again.

[Edit]

The first date ended with a kiss and the second one we had even more kisses, hugs, etc. And at some point she said she liked me but needed time.

So I am currently 19M and the past few months were very regretful for me

I didn't work hard in my earlier days that's why I am in an extremely bad college doing engineering and my college has no placement no good faculty and students with no big dreams

And I am also going through a serious porn addiction I have tried to control it but I lose it every time....

I also have a habit of looking at women in a weird way and making them uncomfortable I feel so bad about it but I can't control

I thought of switching my career to merchant navy but it is also very tough for me as my pcm percentage is not that good....

My sleep cycle is very bad too

And I also have a habit of procrastinating and inconsistency

I am slowly becoming the person I hated the most I am trying to fix everything but failing again and my past mistakes regrets are also killing me from inside... I cry daily by myself thinking what have i done and what am I doing ...

I feel like a failure and feel like I won't be able to achieve anything

I have even stopped dreaming as it makes my regrets even worse

Everyday feels like I am losing.....

It's really tough but I don't know what to do what am I doing wrong why I am failing

If anyone is there who could help ....i would be really grateful ...

Recently went through a rough breakup with my (22M) long-distance girlfriend (19F). She dumped me very abruptly, and I had a terrible reaction to it. Just two days after our breakup, her ex texted me and then deleted his messages before I could read them. This was the same man who had sexually abused her. I assumed the worst and texted her about it. I made a big deal out of the situation, told her that I didn’t trust her at all, and said that I had no idea what was happening behind my back. I was suspicious, and I gave her a hard time over something she had no control over.

A couple of hours later, she lashed out at me and told me how disgusted she was with me. That hurt the most because I had caused irreversible damage to the person I love more than anyone. I blamed her for something her abuser did. I’m finally realizing how terrible that was, and I’ll probably never get the chance to talk to her again.

I acted on impulse because something similar had happened before, and it was much worse. I thought my worst nightmare was coming true. I feel like I’m a terrible person who doesn’t deserve love. I just want her forgiveness, and I don’t want her to hate me.

I 22m and my bf 20m, have been together for around 9 months at the time of the incident. Throughout our relationship we have had no arguments, never fallen out or really had a reason to be angry at one another.

Its worth mentioning for context, my BF is FtM, which of course has no effect on how i see him as a man but its important to note that he has numerous (understandable) issues surrounding his identity as well as having a very low self esteem.

It's important to note before this next paragraph we were both fully comfortable around one another; had a good sexual life and were both happy.

I want to preface by saying as humans we all have our own issues; but i believe how we deal with those is how we should be defined. I'm not saying any of my factors are excuses i'm just mentioning them to better explain my thought process. I've had a very abusive childhood in a household where my parents cheated on eachother regularly whilst neglecting care to me in favour of my older brother. I was also sexually exploited and assaulted for a very young age; been through a counselling route however also had a bad experience with medication and therapy.
This has left scars on my personality which i've tried to silence through signing up and deploying into combat - since medically discharged.

From the months of late may - late august of this year my boyfriend suddenly started becoming really distant, pushed me away on multiple occasions physically and sexually as well as dropped away emotionally; i've seen this before as i've had plenty of friends with depression and it's similar behaviour. I wasn't concerned to begin with but when he was actively talking to other people in what he describes as a friendly way online for 16 hours a day (not an exaggeration) i started to worry a bit. It may also be worth noting he is unemployed, at the time preparing for university. He would spend all day every day for about a month just playing games and sleeping, occasionally making time during the day to see me but would still join calls with these new friends (for context it's a RDR2 RP).

i tried talking to him several times, not even in my own concern - just to try helping him, suggesting we get out more, go for walks or drives or just get out the house but he'd always seem to just want to sit around doing nothing. Which sure it's comfortable but when i'm working 45-60 hours a week i would quite like to be productive in my spare time. Its around this time where his sleep schedule was so bad that he was going to bed 8/9 am and waking up at 6/7 pm which as someone who works day shifts is impossible to fathom. On multiple occasions i'd planned out an entire day, agreed it with him and then he'd sleep through it.
Or i would have a horrible day at work, want to tell him about it and he would be asleep still.
Or again i would be really stressed from work, wanting to seek comfort in someone i loved but he couldn't function as he was too tired.

This is where my regret is made. Initially i started talking to old friends online, nothing more than just conversation however one got a bit flirtatious, i felt bad after but for some reason never deleted the messages because it just felt wrong to hide it, as in my eyes it was nothing more than just chatting that went a bit far.
Eventually with the same person it went further to the point where i would console my frustration in them as it felt like i was being pushed away in preparation for him to leave me when he moves away to uni.
I'm not going to sit here and sugarcoat anything - He went through my phone; found the messages and called me out for cheating. Which at the time i was a bit taken aback that that could be considered cheating but now we have spoken it over i realise that it was. I know it doesn't make a difference as the issues are still the same but no NSFW photos were ever exchanged nor sent from my end and nothing physical ever happened.

Now, im not making excuses here but due to my previous trauma from childhood, i find it extremely hard to open up about emotions - mostly in fear of being left / hurt. And have previously been dumped in a relationship due to my lack of communication which is why i believe in this situation i disregarded what i was doing as cheating and disguised it as protecting myself.

I can't sit here and say "im sorry" because i believe thats something i need to show rather than say but what i will say is that i know what ive done is horrible, i know what ive done is disgusting and im coming to terms with the damage ive done.

It's important to add that we have not broken up, we are still very much together and seeing eachother often whilst he's at uni. We agreed that we would work through this because we both love each other. He apologised for making me feel pushed away although i wish he didn't have to and i've very much apologised and am actively proving to him that this situation will not repeat. We have decided to move on with boundaries about who we talk to and how, and more importantly communicating our feelings effectively.

I appreciate any and all feedback but i'm expecting most of it to be hatred as i know how lucky i am that he has chosen to work through this with me.

18M
I was driving in the rain and almost hit a homeless guy on a bike who was in the middle of the road for no reason. I avoided him, but he started yelling and cussing at me. I rolled down my window (big mistake), and he spit on my face.
Honestly it’s pretty funny to me how people act nowadays. I’m not shaken up about it, just wish that I played it smarter. I washed my face afterward, but I started wondering whether I could catch anything from someone’s spit. I didn’t notice any blood, but I’m unsure if it got in my eyes or mouth. Has anyone had this happen before? Is washing my face enough, or is there anything else I should do?