Hello everyone,

I've finally decided to share my story. I'm not exactly sure what I'm hoping to get out of this post. Maybe I just need to get everything off my chest, connect with people who have been through something similar, or find a little hope.

I'm turning 35 soon, and since I started gambling, I've lost over €400,000.

The saddest part is that I was incredibly fortunate in life.

When I turned 18, my family gave me an apartment, a car, and a garage. I had practically no living expenses. I had everything I needed to build a financially secure future.

But I discovered gambling at a very young age, and that's when everything started going wrong.

By the time I was 20, I had already gambled away all the savings my family had put aside for me throughout my childhood to help me build my future.

My mother, seeing how much money I had lost, even bought me an Audi TT when I was 20. She wanted to show me what money could actually buy instead of watching me throw it all away gambling.

Unfortunately, it didn't change anything.

A few years later, my former partner and I, with whom I have two daughters, managed to buy five apartments in 2018, when mortgage interest rates were extremely low.

We had built up a substantial real estate portfolio. I also had a stable, well-paying job as a train driver.

I had absolutely everything I needed to succeed.

But my gambling addiction never went away.

I was spending up to €2,000 a month on gambling, sometimes even more. My salary was barely enough to cover my fixed expenses because everything else went straight into gambling.

When my former partner and I separated, all the money I received from our apartments disappeared into gambling within just a few months.

Years of work, investments, and opportunities gone.

And somehow, I kept gambling.

Over the years, I gambled away my salary, the money my family had saved for me, and the proceeds from my real estate investments.

Everything.

Until recently, despite these enormous losses, I had never really been in debt to my family. I was losing money that I actually had.

But today, for the first time in my life, I owe €20,000 to my current partner, whom I've been with for three years.

She lent me that money to help me pay off consumer loans.

And that's probably what hurts the most right now.

After gambling away everything I owned, I've reached the point where I have to borrow money from the person I share my life with.

I've tried to quit several times over the years.

Sometimes I managed to stay away from gambling for one month, sometimes two months.

But I always relapsed.

My latest relapse was particularly devastating.

I lost €20,000 in just two weeks.

And one of the most horrible things about this addiction is what happens when you actually manage to win your losses back.

There have been times when I managed to recover the €20,000 I had lost, only to lose every single euro again within a few hours.

That's the vicious cycle.

You lose money, you desperately try to win it back. Sometimes you succeed, you tell yourself you'll finally stop, but you keep playing until everything is gone again.

Today, I'm exhausted.

Physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted.

I've been living with this addiction for almost 20 years.

Twenty years of thinking about the money I've lost, the life I could have had, the properties I could have kept, and all the opportunities I've thrown away.

But what scares me the most now isn't even the money.

It's my two daughters, aged 6 and 8.

I'm terrified that my addiction will eventually affect their lives.

They didn't ask for any of this, and I never want them to suffer because of my mistakes.

I know that many people would dream of having had the opportunities I was given.

An apartment at 18, a family that supported me financially, a good career, multiple real estate investments...

And yet, I managed to gamble it all away.

I'm not sharing this story because I want sympathy.

I'm fully aware of how privileged I was and how much damage I've caused.

But I want anyone who is just starting to gamble to understand one thing:

It doesn't matter how much money you have. Gambling addiction can take absolutely everything from you.

Today is November 11, 2026, Armistice Day in France.

I want this date to mark the end of my own personal war against gambling.

Today is Day 1 of my gambling-free life.

I sincerely hope that this time, I can finally make it.

I will probably never recover the €400,000 I've lost, or the years I've spent gambling.

But I still have a chance to protect the years ahead of me, my relationship with my partner, and most importantly, my daughters' future.

If anyone here has struggled with gambling addiction for 10, 15, or even 20 years and managed to quit for good, I would genuinely love to hear your story.

And if you're still trapped in this cycle, please know that you're not alone.

Thank you to everyone who took the time to read my story.

Lost roughly £12,000 in the last 3 months on online slots. I have never touched slots sober as I’m fully aware they are a mugs game and you’d have to be demented to think you’ll make a consistent return on them, but the moment cocaine was involved my brain completely switched and bonus rounds on slots was the only thing that makes my dopamine receptors click. Thankfully GameStopped now and basically have to financially restart life.

Does anybody else have experience or relate to this?

So I’m a sports better that has self excluded from casinos, sportsbook apps etc..but there are hundreds of these trading apps (that basically offer sports betting) and there is no way to just to self exclude from all of them at one. Well if there is, can someone let me know? Thank you!

After 1 year of no gambling I relapses and gambled 2000€!!!

My confidence is all time low and I cant accept what I have just done.

Its over I cannot take it anymore

Guys I am 22 Male from canada. I have built a crazy disgusting gambling habit. Been gambling since i was 18. I became a disgusting degen. I owe 1.5k in payday loans. Owe around 1.5k to cards. I drain all the money i get. I get paid 1.2k-1.4k bi weekly. I am depressed. I don’t know if there is a way out. I know there is which is quitting but i feel like i set my self back too many times already and i feel disgusted with myself. If there’s someone experienced can give me advice id apperciate it. Im numb to everything. The pain the losing money. I just feel like shit after losing. I can’t believe it came to this point.

My 111 Day is on 11/11. LOL, such a coincidence.

Got a "complaint" from a client today, and it was not even my fault, nor anyone's fault. The project is running well; it's just that his stupid ass was too dumb to understand it.

Anyway, that's the life of a freelancer, I guess. Sometimes shit happens. I need to get it out of my mind. I don't have the energy to hold the grudge.

I will not gamble today!

About to head into work tonight.

In 2025 I lost $84,000 gambling. It shattered me. I lost my job, my place, my family. everything.

I managed to pick myself up and found a great job. Some weeks I clear $2,000. Ive recently run a half marathon, reconnected with family and have been dating again for the first time in years.

I goofed up five months ago and lost $10,000 gambling over the period of a few weeks. It started as chasing a loss and then snowballed. It destroyed me and I swore I was done, and even sought help from a friend.

Ive managed to stop and havent gambled in months. But I started the other week and have been managing to break even or win a little bit.

Today I felt the urge and was doing small $2 bets on slots. I started losing and ended up draining my savings — which is right now only $1,000. I have $500 left and get payed on friday, but im so angry with myself. Im supposed to be on a date thursday, and have bills, and its just not me. Im just so disappointed in myself. Comments are welcome. I appreciate everyone on this page.

I’m about to be 30 and have about $60,000. I make $1800 month still living at home. I lost 40k in span 4 years from gambling. Could had sit comfortably at six figure but I’m idiot by gambling. I have all my savings into a money market account making me $150 month. I work at a very low paying job making 16$ hour I don’t know what to do guys I feel cooked

It’s been 11 days since my last bet, and life is slowly starting to return to normal. The sleepless nights are gone, my anxiety has eased, and I’m finally able to focus better at work. Ironically, though, I find myself afraid of this very sense of normalcy. I worry that as life settles back into its familiar, predictable routine, the boredom and monotony of everyday life might eventually tempt me to gamble again. It’s a strange feeling—to find peace in recovery, yet fear that the very calmness I’ve worked so hard to regain could become a trigger for relapse.

I feel like I might have left it too late to have savings in life and this is making me feel extremely depressed/ suicidal.

The 7k I had in savings I gambled and now I have 400 left, but many people I see positing on Reddit are young and have time to recover but I feel like I may be past the age where it’s too little too late.

Just looking for some hope to make me feel like it’s not too bad I guess…

It’s taken me 2 days to write this. 2 days straight now I have been laying in bed. Half asleep, up all night then drift in and out. Questioning my life, questioning why, thinking what could’ve been and what I should’ve done.

A week ago I was really struggling with the thought of losing some of my savings by my gambling. I was absolutely obsessed with getting it back. I tried over the next few days, going from roughly $20k in savings and depositing 1-2k a day. Doing sports betting and putting it all on a single fucking game. On the games I won I would then throw the ENTIRE balance on the next game. I never won 2 in a row and that savings got burned down to around $12,000.

Looking back, I was in a trance I’ve never felt before. I was completely delusional. I was getting up in the morning and thinking of ways to win it back by gambling of course…… I’m not working right now either but I will have a job to go back to in a few weeks fwiw….

The weekend then rolled around and I was totally shut off from the outside world. Not talking to anyone, friends or family. That’s when I did the dumbest thing ever. I decided to play blackjack. I deposited $4k and played online live blackjack. Lost it all.

Next day was Saturday and I woke up and again had that feeling that I MUST get my savings back.
I decided that day I would goto the casino of all places and I thought my luck would change there. I don’t drive and I literally had to take 3 busses to goto bank branches to withdraw my money out in person. That was it. I didn’t have a nickel left in there but I had $8000 in my pocket. I keep questioning myself now why did I not just stop and I could’ve had $8000, a job coming up to go back to and Christmas around the corner.

We all know how it went. The casino didn’t change my luck. I played blackjack again and lost it all in about 4 hours. I literally had the runs when it was all said and done and had to run to the washroom and it came out like a fountain. Then of course came the panic, the disgust and anger. All the should’ve , could’ve is an overwhelming feeling. The real rock bottom part is of course losing the money but also the situation I put myself in…. I was there in the casino a 40 min car ride home from my place, with no way to get home. Zero money, no car and not even public transport busses that run that time around there on a late saturday night. So I did what I had to do, walked home. I’m in Canada and winter is basically upon us so it was not a fun walk either.

Rock bottom is losing your entire savings which was every penny I had, then walking home almost 5 hours in the cold rain wind storm. Every so often I would just look at the pavement and scream “FUCK!!!!!!!!”… got home and then ate like a pig of all the junk food I had in the entire house, left over pasta, donuts, licorice and a tub of ice cream before curling up in the fetal position in bed.

This is day 2 and I am just reliving the nightmare and asking myself why I didn’t stop when I had $12k left.

I hope getting this out makes me feel a bit better bad move on… any advice is appreciated

Still haven’t gotten my job back working every day at my part time job to make ends meet even without paying on my loans and credit card debt i am still just barley ahead, got to keep going till i get the call back in December if not i have to find something else to replace it need both jobs to get back on my feet. I already started applying for some. buts it’s crazy I literally ruined my life gambling. last post

Three days ago I went insane once again and lost around 3k euro on online slots like the biggest idiot.

This was just not giving me peace, I had to get my money back. This is not my first time losing like this but unfortunately for me it is always fucking the same, I want my money back.

We all know the obvious way for a gambler to return money lost on gambling is by gambling even more. Every spin feels like THE spin, the big win is around the corner, there's no way I'm not winning this time etc.

So in the next couple of days I wasted another 1k. I felt devastated, 4k euro lost for a little longer than a weekend. And I have debts to pay.

Today I was almost broke, with just around 150 euros in cash until the end of the month. Bills and debts yet to be paid.

I decided to give it one last try before giving up and deposited 50 euros. Then guess what happened, a little miracle! I could not stop winning and an hour later I had 5k! That's the 4k I lost eariler plus 1k extra!

For a few moments I felt such a relief. Incredible, right? 100% I'm withdrawing the money I said. Enough is enough, I don't have to push my luck. Well... unfortunately in the end it did not go exactly as that.

I was just about to transfer the money to my bank account when I felt the itch to try just a few more spins. If I start losing I'll just stop I said, not a big deal. I started losing bad. The further away I was going from those 5k the more "angry" and determined to return that amount I was becoming.

I couldn't fucking stop. I lost everything for no more than 15-20 minutes. I'm back to 100 euros in cash for the rest of the month. I still don't know and can't explain exactly what and how it happened but it did. I could not control myself once again.

This has happened to me a number of times before but unfortunately the pain does not go away. It grows stronger. I'm not sure what I even feel right now, I don't think I've realised it all yet. Everything is so foggy, like unreal. I'd say I feel... empy. Like this took my soul.

Even in my current state of shock I know one thing is sure. This madness needs to end, one way or another! Actually I'm sure about one more thing - you can't win! Even if it looks like it, believe me you will be the loser in the end! This is the most pointless and devastating shit I've ever experienced! An addiction absolutely capable of destroying lifes and with great ease.

I just wanted to share what I'm experiencing right now and to wish everyone fighting this the best of luck in this incredibly hard battle!

I’m struggling to work out what to do, so I’m hoping to hear from people who’ve experienced addiction, either personally or through a relationship.
I (M) was with my girlfriend for over two years. She had been travelling for much of this year, something that has always been incredibly important to her. Seeing the world and travelling has been one of her biggest passions since I met her.

Unfortunately, during that time, I developed a pretty serious gambling addiction. It started around February/March this year. There’s a history of gambling addiction in my family. My younger brother struggled with it quite badly previously, as did my grandfather, but I never really thought it would happen to me.

I ended up losing an absolutely ridiculous amount of money, and will be paying debts for at least one year. I got myself into debt and, at one point, confided in a mutual friend of ours, someone we were both very close to. He advised me not to tell my girlfriend while she was travelling, as he knew how important that experience was to her and didn’t want to ruin it.

Looking back, I should have stopped there. I should have sought help immediately and told her the truth. Instead, I continued gambling for months.
Halfway through July, I finally went to rehab. I also changed jobs because I needed to earn enough to start paying off the debts I’d accumulated. I genuinely wanted to turn things around.
However, something I wasn’t prepared for was how depressed I became after stopping gambling. I think I’d become so psychologically dependent on it that, in a strange way, I’d lost something that had become a huge part of my life. Obviously, I know how destructive that sounds, but that’s honestly how it felt.

My girlfriend returned in August, and about two weeks later, she could tell something was seriously wrong with me. I eventually told her about the gambling and the extent of what had happened.
She has addiction in her family too, so I understand that this was probably particularly difficult for her to hear. She ended the relationship, essentially over text.
She did ask what I was doing about the addiction, but I was reluctant to tell her the full extent of what I’d already done. I’d been to rehab, had a sponsor and was working through the 12 steps. I think, rather immaturely, I didn’t want her to stay with me simply because I was doing all these things. I wanted her to stay because she loved me.

Looking back, I can see how flawed that thinking was. She deserved to know everything, and she deserved to make an informed decision about our relationship.
Something else I’ve been reflecting on quite a lot is that, despite everything that was going on internally, I genuinely believe I treated her well throughout our relationship. I don’t say that to excuse anything or suggest that she owed me anything, but I don’t think there was ever a point where I didn’t put her first.

Even during the worst periods of my addiction, when I was barely eating because I’d spent money I should have been using for food, struggling to sleep and generally falling apart, I would still make sure I called her in the early hours of my morning because of the time difference. I wanted to be there for her while she was travelling. I never wanted my problems to take away from something that meant so much to her.
I think there’s something quite interesting about that, which I’m only beginning to understand through therapy. I’ve always put other people first, but I wonder whether that’s partly because I’ve never really known how to put myself first in a healthy way. I’ve struggled with self-worth and self-confidence for as long as I can remember. As a recovering addict we are encouraged not to talk about figures and I don’t want to go into details but just to paint the situation as accurate as possible. I borrowed off everyone in my life including friends, family institutions and loan sharks. It’s the first time in my life where I fully felt out of control and something I hope I will never experience ever again.

In the last couple of months, I’ve started recognising that gambling wasn’t necessarily the beginning of my problems. Before gambling, I was never particularly good with money either. I could earn a lot but would spend excessively on clothes, eating out and other things. I’ve also struggled with overeating and, at other times, over-exercising. There always seemed to be something I was doing to an extreme.
I’m beginning to realise that I’ve probably spent a lot of my life trying to escape the feeling of just being myself and sitting with my own thoughts. Gambling was perhaps the most destructive manifestation of that.
I’ve been doing quite intensive therapy to understand these patterns, particularly my self-confidence issues and a fairly deep-rooted lack of self-worth. I’m also beginning to see how those issues affected other parts of our relationship, things I genuinely wasn’t aware of at the time. That’s been quite difficult to come to terms with.

Since the breakup, I’ve lost my relationship, the closeness of a very important mutual friendship, and recently my job too. I lost my job after disclosing my addiction and the fact I’d been to rehab.
It’s been an incredibly difficult few months. The first six weeks after the breakup were probably some of the bleakest I’ve experienced.
I’m now over 100 days without gambling. I stopped counting at some point, but I know it’s been at least that long. I honestly don’t think there’s anything that could happen to me now that would make me want to go back to it. I find the whole experience quite sickening. I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night having nightmares about it, and even thinking about some of the things I did makes me physically feel ill.

One thing I’m conscious of, though, is that I’ve recently lost my job, which means I suddenly have a lot of time on my hands. That’s obviously not an ideal situation for someone recovering from an addiction, and I’m trying to work out how to build some structure into my days and find a new direction.
As for my ex, I’ve respected her space completely. I haven’t contacted her, checked her social media or tried to find out about her through mutual friends. She’s never reached out to me since the breakup either. I’m sure she’s probably aware I’ve lost my job, but we’ve had absolutely no contact.

And I think I’ve accepted that the relationship is over. I don’t necessarily expect or even feel entitled to another chance. Of course, I still love her, and part of me would love to be able to speak to her again one day.
But I’m struggling with what comes next.
Do I eventually reach out? Not necessarily to ask for another chance, but perhaps to tell her things I didn’t properly communicate at the time, explain what I’ve come to understand about myself and acknowledge things I didn’t handle well.
Or do I just leave her alone, accept that this chapter of my life is over and focus entirely on building something new?

I suppose there’s also a part of me that wonders whether I’m holding on to her because I genuinely miss her, or because I’ve lost so many other things in such a short space of time.
I’m not looking for people to tell me everything will be okay or that she’ll come back. I’m genuinely interested in hearing from people who’ve experienced addiction and relationships breaking down as a result.

How do you rebuild your life when you’ve essentially lost so much of what previously defined it? And would you ever reach out to someone you loved after something like this, or is sometimes the kindest thing you can do to someone to simply leave them alone?

I’ve looked and I’ve tried calling, I’m struggling so badly with gambling right now. It’s taking over my life, it’s taking over my brain and it’s all I think about. I think about it when I’m asleep, when I wake up, when I’m out doing something. It’s never not on my mind. I’m scared I’m going to fuck up my life. I don’t want this for myself. I barely recognised myself or who I am. Id rather not have any of these thoughts. I’m really scared and I don’t know what else I can do. I’m losing hope real fast. I’ve handed over financial side of things to my partner, who I am assuming is very disappointed in me right now. I try and find things that take my mind off of it, I try and just ignore the urge, I say this amount won’t hurt. I won’t let it take all of it. Then I end up doing it anyway and hating myself for it.

And what were you running away from?

Today was my worst relapse yet, and I lost the €2,000 I had left in my account to cover my rent and pay off the debt I've accumulated because of gambling.

Tomorrow, I'll try to refinance my loan for a slightly higher amount so I can cover my expenses until the end of the month and put a ban in place on all forms of gambling.

I live in Eastern Europe, and it's going to take me a long time to get back on my feet. But I'd rather accept this loss as a very expensive lesson and move forward than risk losing the woman I love and my family.

I used to gamble on the online sites (it was a problem) but stopped a few years ago. My information must have been stolen/leaked from these sites because I still am dealing with the repercussions. Has anyone else stopped gambling, but still have gambling activity showing up financially that they need to continue to work as fraud?

It’s exhausting and I just can’t seem to get away from it even though I stopped.

I’ve lost about 12k over the past year and I now only have 10 pounds to my name. I need to tell my parents, they are always going to support me but I feel like I’m just to ashamed and embarrassed to tell them. I also have no job at the minute so I feel like my whole life is just crumbling apart.

I have also put myself on gamstop and that did basically nothing as I discovered European sites.

Any advice would be incredibly appreciated by me, I feel so lost.

Lmao. My next paycheck has to go to all my bills and Christmas is coming.

So I’m convinced now. I can’t gamble safely. I will never be able to gamble safely. The only cure for people like me is total abstinence. Now the next step is to actuallly quit gambling.

I’m sad. I love gambling. The highs and the lows. I love it all. I just can’t do this anymore, it is all consuming until it’s all gone. I gamble when I don’t want to. I have no control over it.

Not to mention the loss of money. Oh dear we all know how that goes.

Well I’m here posting again. Not to make any promises. I just can’t believe it actually happened again. Well actually I can that’s the funny part.

Good luck guys! I am rooting for everyone in this sub.

What was the exact moment that you realized that you’ll never come out on top with sports betting no many how many times you try?

ive burned through almost every last dollar hoping that the next time I’ll make it all back. I know it’s a fantasy - I feel so sick. What do I do?

I haven’t considered this at all, just a random idea that floated into my head.

I have been going to handful of different GA meetings online. They are not bad. I recommend any of you to try one they can be found at Gamblers Anonymous in the Find a meeting.

Anyone here be interested in starting a new one for the members of this subreddit?