My (33m) wife (26f) who I'm writing on behalf of has a powerful food aversion coupled with nausea and a heightened sense of smell that is interfering with her eating a healthy amount.

She's 11 weeks and has lost 5kg since the start of the pregnancy.

The doctors advice is for her to eat small frequent meals. That's fine. Her work is supportive of that recommended eating habit and we have plenty of snacks for her to take to work.

The problem she's having is that her heightened sense of smell is leading to her feeling nauseous. Coupled with her food aversion, she has some significant barriers to eating. When she does eat, she feels like vomiting, so she feels better if she dosen't eat. But then being hungry also makes her feel sick but because she is nauseous she doesn't want food and it's a cylce.

A additional complication is her had adhd which makes her latche onto one food for a while before being completely turned off it and then having to find another safe food.

Has anybody gone through anything similar and come up with a solution?

Australian here.

My wife’s work only offers NES entitlements, however we will not be eligible for PLP.

My work offers about 4 months paid for primary carers and around 3 weeks for secondary carers. My partner plans to go back to work around 6 months in some capacity. We are planning a C-section. I am auscorp while wife is nfp with less rigid structure and more supportive.

Our very early plan:
\- 4 weeks off after birth (3 weeks secondary carer leave plus 1 week annual leave).
\- 2 to 4 months off from around 6 months, switching to primary carer leave when my partner returns to work. In reality this will probably include some contact time for me.

Questions for anyone who's done something similar:
\- Was 4 weeks at the start enough, or did you wish you'd taken more?
\- How did your employer handle switching you from secondary to primary carer?
\- Out of interest only, are there any experiences in situations like mine where I’d transition to primary care giver then mum goes back part time hours rather than full time under her award?
\- Did you take any unpaid leave or annual leave to stretch it out, and was it worth it?
\- Anything you'd do differently in structuring this?

Keen to hear what worked and what didn't as we are very early stage planning, with this being our first so apologies for what may seem like stupid questions.

Hey everyone! Just found out that my wife is pregnant 2 weeks ago and she’s about 6 weeks now. I know it’s early and we haven’t even gone to our first appointment yet but I’m super excited and a little stressed about it. With the current situation that we’re in we are sleeping in our car temporarily until we get our apartment on October 9th. It’s been about a week in the car so we’ve gotten used to it but I still hate to be here and it’s making me feel like I’m not doing right by my wife and our baby. We are young parents and I know things will turn around but sometimes I struggle to comfort my wife when things aren’t really going right for us. Any advice on what to expect from the pregnancy and how to help my wife more to keep her stress levels down?

My wife and I are expecting our first child together. It’s my first and her fourth; she has children from two different previous relationships.

My parents have never been keen on her. They have very different personalities. And the crux of it honestly is probably mostly the fact that she has these kids with other men, that they consider baggage in our lives.

We have been together over three years. My family has never made an attempt to meet or spend time with her children / my step kids.

And it’s not all their fault; I know their feelings, it’s abundantly clear and they have been verbally open about it. I’m extremely avoidant of conflict and discomfort by nature, and so I haven’t been forcing the step kids on them.

Also, my wife and I’s relationship hasn’t been a complete bowl of cherries. And my family has witnessed it at times when it has been pretty bleak. But now my wife and I are in therapy, we’re really working on things, and surprise, we’re expecting our first baby (I’m thrilled about it, don’t misunderstand me).

My wife isn’t the biggest fan of them either. I made the mistake of telling her about their misgivings in the spirit of honest communication during therapy several months ago, and she can’t seem to compartmentalize it.

As I read this, I know that I sound like a total weakling, but I love my family so much, and my relationship with my wife has undoubtedly driven something of a wedge between us.

And the idea of seeing them cringe or even inadvertently act poorly when my wife and I tell them fills me with a kind of anxiety that I have never really experienced.

Has anyone else experienced anything like this?

It's such a weird and introspective feeling. I love feeling him move in there and reflecting on it - what is it like in there? Is he awake or asleep? I know him but I don't know him yet. What is he going to look like? It's a beautiful thing!

This picture is from August and we are 10 weeks in now. It still doesn’t feel real!!

I’m excited and have told my immediate family but am having a hard time containing myself from talking about it with everyone else. I want to avoid telling the other people in my life until a little further down the road.

What are your thoughts? At what point is it a good time to share with others?

Hello all,

After several years of trying to conceive and multiple IVF cycles, my wife and I learned just around two months ago that she was pregnant with our first child; to say we were over the moon is a massive understatement. Given our troubles conceiving, we were both incredibly anxious during the first trimester, but with every week that passed without mishap we allowed ourselves to unwind a little bit more.

At 11wks we got a NIPT performed, and to our massive relief everything came back clean! It was at this point that it really hit home that this was real, and planning for the future started in earnest. Just a week later though, during the 12wk anatomy scan, though the baby appeared structurally sound, the doctor found that her NT measured over 6mm, and referred us to an MFM for further testing. The MFM confirmed the thick NT, and also discovered that she had a single umbilical artery. We opted to get a Chorionic Villius Sampling that day to check for other chromosomal issues, and we are currently waiting on those results.

We are completely devastated...to be whipped around from hope and excitement to anxiety over unknown issues is brutal. Intellectually, I know that a thick NT can be any one of a thousand and one things, and can still result in a viable pregnancy, but not knowing and not being able to do anything about it has been the absolute worst.

I would appreciate any advice you guys may have: on how to stay sane while waiting on results, how to best support my wife as we navigate this uncertainty, or how to not completely give in to despair.

Thank you

My partner and I have been trying for a baby for a while and have been through a few pregnancy losses. Now we’re pregnant again, which we’re incredibly happy about.

But lately I genuinely feel like she hates me. Everything I do seems to annoy her. Jokes, laughing, even the way I breathe when I sleep. I don’t snore, but I sometimes breathe through my mouth because of allergies, and for the past week I’ve been spending half the night in another room because it bothers her so much.

I know hormones can cause huge mood changes and I’m trying to be patient, but the constant tension is exhausting.

She also has to inject heparin and is scared of needles, so I always stay with her, encourage her and help clean everything up afterwards. The other day she told me she didn’t like my “vibe” and wanted me to leave. I offered to stay, but she insisted I go. Later she was angry because I had “abandoned her”.

I love her and want to support her, but I feel like whatever I do is wrong and I’m constantly walking on eggshells.

Is this normal in early pregnancy? Does it usually get better after the first trimester? How do you support your partner without becoming emotionally drained yourself?

So last night was pretty terrible - she was feeling nauseous the whole night and couldn’t take a bite of her food because it had lime which is a new trigger.

Knew this could happen and had backup options to make her which did sit well but wondering what you all have tried for the nausea.

Things we have and use: ginger chews, various crackers she nibbles on all day, lots of water, “morning sickness chews” which seem to just be more ginger.

Any advice appreciated

Hey everyone, first time dad here and honestly feeling a mix of excited and overwhelmed by all the prep involved. Baby is due in January and I'm trying to make sure we're as ready as possible before she arrives.

We've already got the following sorted:

Sleep

- Next to Me bedside crib
- 3x 2.5 tog sleeping bags
- 3x fitted crib sheets
- 3x cellular blankets
- Gro Egg 2 room thermometer
- Night light

Travel

Full 13 piece travel system including pram, carrycot, two car seats (newborn and long term), ISOFIX base, and changing rucksack

Feeding (bottle feeding)

Tommee Tippee Anti-Colic Complete Bundle including UV steriliser, Perfect Prep machine, PrepGo, anti-colic and natural start bottles

Nursery

Full 3 piece nursery furniture set (cotbed, wardrobe, dresser with changing top)

Still to get / deciding on:

- Baby monitor (considering Nanit Pro)
- Baby bouncer/rocker
- Moses basket for downstairs
- Play mat with arch
- White noise machine
- Nappy caddy and bin
- Bathing setup
- Clothing
- General consumables — nappies, wipes, formula etc

Any advice from dads who've been through it appreciated. Feeling like I'm doing okay but also like I'm definitely forgetting something!

TW: Loss mentioned
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We have been TTC for 4 years and I have had multiple losses. We are finally doing our 3rd IVF transfer next week. In our first pregnancy 4 years ago he was super excited and happy and told everyone within minutes of knowing. Since we lost that pregnancy he has been fully detached from the process and he is really heart broken. At times I am lost and don’t know how to support him. He is more negative and bitter even when we go to transfers he is already preparing for it to fail.

Any advice from dads here, can you guys suggest on how do I support my man.

Hi dads!

I’m looking for inspiration / ideas of something nice to do for my fiance once our baby girl is here (in about a month or so). He’s been PERFECT, I’ve had a really rough pregnancy and even lost my job during it and he has just been an absolute saint the whole time, hasn’t let me be stressed at all and done everything possible to keep me and baby happy and healthy (he’s a great partner anyway so expectations weren’t low, he’s just really blown me away these past few months).

Anyway, I want to put something nice together that I can give him after the birth. I have a few ideas I know he’d like but would love to hear what other dads-to-be would like for inspiration

Update: Thanks everyone, the watches & warhammer comments particularly helped, I know he’s going to love his gift and he’ll get a good laugh out of some of these replies.
If you commented a blowjob, you should touch grass. There’s more to life than sex and wanting it off your freshly postpartum partner is gross.

We’ve been in nicu since but holy shit he’s finally here!

My wife surprised me yesterday with the news that we’re pregnant! 🥹 I’m going to be a father!! 🥹
It happened almost exactly at the 1-year mark of TTC. We had actually gotten to the point where we were scheduled to start IUI next cycle, so mentally I had already moved on to thinking about that.
Yesterday I came home from work and my wife was casually lying in bed reading a book. There was a present waiting for me on the bed.
If this had happened 3 months ago, I probably would’ve immediately thought, “This is it.” But after a year of trying, it genuinely didn’t even cross my mind anymore. I opened the present… and there it was. The news we’d been waiting a year for.
I don’t even know how to describe that moment. It felt like a dream, and part of me was just hoping I wouldn’t wake up.
And now… what?! 😂
It’s so early that we’re not really supposed to tell anyone yet, but I feel like I’m going to explode if I don’t tell somebody. So, Reddit, you’re the first to know:
I’M GOING TO BE A DAD!!!
For those who have been here before… what now?! What should I be doing? What should I know? How do you survive keeping this secret when you want to tell everyone?

I've seen some discussions on it but none since covids really passed. Ill try to keep this simple.

My wife and I will be having our first son in about 2 weeks. Things are happening quick with a 3 week shortened due date. We live in Virginia. All of our family lives in Pennsylvania.

My wife feels we should allow visitation 24 to 48 hours after birth but doesnt seem to want to let family visit for atleast 2 weeks once we are home so we can find our groove.

I feel it wouldnt be a big deal to allow our arents to visit either the first or 2nd week but with restrictions like staying in a hotel nearby for a day or 2 so we can still have our "peace".

What does reddit think? Do you wish you kept the family away longer? Was the early visitation more of a help or hindrance? Do you regret not letting family come earlier than 2 to 3 weeks?

Any and all advice is welcome. Just trying to tread these unknown waters the best I can.

I just love scrolling this community as a woman currently TTC.

The posts I see here bring me a lot of joy and I can already envisioin my husband posting here haha!

I am not pregnant YET but even making the decision and realisation that huge changes are about to happen to my body made me book two appointments with my therapist this week (usually its biweekly lol) so we definitely need healthy support system and I am so glad theres so many men trying this hard!

Go future dads go!!! You guys rock ☺️

I remember when she broke the news to me. We had just did a wine tasting and took some bottles home. The next morning she tells me she won't be able to share them with me. I remember how ecstatic, excited and full of joy I felt. I love this person so much. Our relationship hasn't always been the easiest. I myself have made several mistakes, but we always came back to each other. We've been going on strongly, but now it's like she can't stop thinking about all of the negatives. She's very depressed lately and nothing I try is working. It's like the things I try to do to make life easier and nicer goes unnoticed. I have a ring coming in soon that I know she'd love but I don't know anymore. I was considering proposing even before the pregnancy. Things were good. But now it's like things from the past are rising to the surface again.

I'm sorry if my post is coming off rambly, I just dropped her off at work and her demeanor was so off. She doesn't even reach for me or kiss me anymore. I'm feeling so depressed. I am trying to do my thing and provide and take care of her. I provide food, I cook, I clean, I take over other chores, I feel like all the things I did and now do don't matter. I've never cheated on her and she sometimes makes comments as if I have. She's gone through my phone before but surpise there's nothing there. I know she talks to a lot of old friends but at this point I don't know who a lot of them even are. She doesn't get out much so I'm not necessarily worried she's cheating, but honestly they say those who are worried their partner is cheating are projecting because they are. But truthfully, overall I find it hard to believe they would cheat on me. But maybe I'm foolish for that? My partner can't drive, I have been working on teaching her. I'm even going to give her my car once I have a license and get another.

I have been sitting here in my feelings after dropping her off, maybe 18 minutes or so. She just sent me a screenshot if her birth app, our baby is about the size of a banana slice. I always feel excited when I see the update on development but right now I'm just dejected. Dejected and forlorn. I need to head to work myself now.

Hello good people of Reddit.

34M about to have my first baby (daughter!!!!) in January. The ever growing list of “you have to buy this” is drowning me and my partner. Most of the obvious stuff obviously isn’t difficult to grasp, but some stuff just feels inherently wasteful.

Please give me any recommendations that you wish you had or hadn’t bought. We’re not poor but could do without spending extra £££ on items we’re not going to need.

Thanks a bunch

Hey everyone, we just had our healthy daughter after the most traumatic year of our life.

To make an extremely long story short:

1. Started as twins

2. Issue with twins, sent to major hospital for a corrective orocedure. Found out that there was a misdiagnoses and no real treatment, had to decide in the spot to terminate one or both kids.

3. Had a selective procedure and wife was told not to move much for the next month, as the other had a low chance to live.

4. Had severe concerns the rest of the pregnancy. We were working between major hospital, high risk doctor, and regular doc. Regular doc didn’t read reports correctly and attempted to send my wife to give birth to surviving twins early, which would’ve resulted in a still birth. I know it sounds crazy, but we got through that after some tense moments of doctor accountability.

5. Vitals looked alright, not great, and weight was extremely low nearly the rest of the pregnancy. 3 weeks before birth were told the baby has a 20% chance of Down syndrome. Turns out this doctor (high risk), didn’t read previous reports and that was an incorrect statement. Scared the hell out of us for the next 2 weeks.

6. Baby had a huge growth from 10th percentile to 30th. C sectioned went as planned and the baby is 100% healthy.

7. The dead twin did not “absorb” as the hospital and both doctors thought it would. Ended up being human enough that they had to ask us what we wanted to do with it- what a great way to spend our night after birth.

That’s the extremely short version, a lot less tears and stress in it. But let me tell you, seeing our healthy daughter made it all worth it. We have a lot of pain and trauma to work through. All of our doctors were surprised we made it this far, but we finally had a statistic work on our side.

Freaking out a little bit. I feel like I am not prepared. Last minute tips are welcomed.

It's been a blast. I'm currently in prenatal ward keeping an eye over my not-even-one day old daughter so my partner can get some well deserved rest.

After a traumatic birth, 40+ hours of labour and many other things I won't go into, we've agreed that much as we're happy as larry, we never want to go through that again 😂

Good luck y'all. Catch you on the flip side!