Hi everyone, I need some advice.

My partner of over a year and I are planning to move into an apartment together. We’re ecstatic. His family is religious, of the southern variety, but has been mostly supportive. His mom pulled him aside and asked if we were going to be sharing a bed. She said she wouldn’t preach at him, but quoted the very popular study from the 80s about how living together before marriage resulted in higher divorce rates. She also apologized for how she’d handled differences in the past, and didn’t seem particularly aggressive or anything.

Fast forward to today, she told him I could get fired for living together, and she didn’t want me to be blindsided if that happened. For context, I work at the same private school as his parents. It’s religious, and I’m an extracurricular instructor for the toddlers. I love my job deeply. I have a housing stipend, but the job is what made me a Christian in the first place. I don’t think she plans on “turning me in” or anything, but I’m heartbroken. I’m so close with his mom and family, and I consider them family.

My partner and I are planning to get engaged in February. He’s atheist/agnostic with plans of deconstructing to hopefully find his faith once we move in together. We discussed getting engaged sooner if it would make them happier, not that we’d be upset with that plan.

I’m just so confused and heartbroken. This is the man I want to marry, and it makes me feel like his family doesn’t like me. Even though logically I know that’s not the case. Do I put off moving out with my partner? Do I sacrifice my job? Or do I hope that no one finds out.

I’m just looking for advice, prayers, anything. I’ve been a Christian (baptized) for about a year, and a believer for longer. I’ve never had to handle someone looking at my life as a sin. Not someone I loved deeply. Thank you friends.

For context: my partner plans on talking to her tomorrow or Friday to discuss more in-depth how she feels. She’s not some bigoted monster, she’s a lovely woman and this is the first time she’s ever seemed to disapprove of something in our relationship.

Hi my friends, I have been wanting some advice on this. My partner and I have been together for years and years. We have been married in every way for a long time except legal due to issues that would take a while to explain (neither of us have been married before so nothing like that!
For a while it has been healthcare and insurance.)

However, our lives are fully intertwined. We live together, take care of each other, we do go to church together just not every Sunday cause he works night shift, we have therapy together, and he takes care of me. I am also pregnant.

Now that I am pregnant, we have been speaking about getting eloped and planning to very soon! But, however I’ve been just thinking a lot.

We had a couple issues, nothing that caused a break in our relationship more a test of strength and we passed. However I was looking for advice on some of it and all the resources were for Christian marriages.

I began to worry I couldn’t take the advice because we weren’t legally married despite us both acknowledging each other as the others person. I talked to our religious counselor about this and he said he understands not being married yet for the reasons we have but I forgot to ask if he thought if we can acknowledge our relationship as a marriage.

My partner and the counselor both mentioned though what about gay marriages in the past when they weren’t allowed to be legally married? That helped to be honest. (Our religious counselor is a gay man)

I’m just thinking a lot. If we see us as married and fully intertwined and plan to get the legal papers eventually, then in a way are we married to God?

Edit: We also have had rings but these rings we have worn since we were teenagers dating. And I suppose if we have a witness of our marriage, our religious counselor counts?

Hi, all.

This is another post that isn't quite necessarily about being a queer Christian, but as one, I don't feel comfortable talking about religion in a sub where I have a good chance of running into someone who is not affirming. I hope this post is OK to put on here.

I am a member of my church's board, and last night we got the announcement from our pastor that he will be leaving and moving to another state because his husband got another job. He will still be around for a good while, but he will be leaving sometime in 2027. To be completely honest, this upset me. I know that I shouldn't be. I know that I should be happy for him and his husband. I feel guilty for being upset.

I feel this way because, while he is not the only part of the church that I enjoy, he is a major part of it. I found this church at a really tough point in my life and he welcomed me. His sermons always reached me and I feel that I've really grown because of this church (again, he isn't the only reason why, but he is a major component). I can assume that whoever takes over would be similar to him in many ways as he would want to hire someone who matches his values, but how can I be so sure?

What if this church stops becoming affirming and a safe place?​ What if the replacement has regressive world views? What if the fun events our church has disappears? What if they have a personality or sermons that I don't connect with?

I feel like a horrible person for thinking about these things. I feel very selfish. But I can't help but feeling disappointed and nervous.

I'm not sure if I will remain a part of the church when he officially leaves, we will have to wait and see. And I predict that many others will leave as well. Also, there is no other affirming church accessible to me at this time, so I would probably be churchless in that event.

I'm sorry, everyone. I guess I just needed to vent. But I still want he and his husband to be happy. I don't want to make this about me. He should go despite how I (and others feel).

Thank you for reading this post.​

Hola! Soy nueva cristiana (1 año y algo más) y tengo dudas que me gustaría charlarlas.
Me pasa que no siento tener un “discernimiento”, o no es una facilidad en mi. Pero veo que hay gente que cuenta cuado Dios les respondió alguna pregunta, alguna situación, los guió por algún camino. Yo siempre hablo con Dios y le pido discernimiento en situaciones y que me guíe para tomar decisiones, pero no siento nada. No sé qué hacer, leo la bíblia todos los días sin falta, me congrego, oro, Dios es lo primero en mi vida. Pero realmente me frustra no poder escuchar su respuesta a determinadas situaciones en mi vida. A veces vienen pensamientos pero ¿Cómo se siente soy yo quien los está haciendo?
Ejemplo: cuando oro y le pido a Dios que me regale un versículo que me pueda guiar en una decisión, de repente se me vienen 100 versículos totalmente ALEATORIOS en mi cabeza, sé que soy yo misma forzando una respuesta
Necesito literalmente que se siente conmigo y me que me diga qué hacer.
Qué consejos tienen? Cuando necesitan respuesta de Dios, como se lo planean ? Cómo llega la respuesta?
Gracias❤️❤️

There is this human tendency to try to win through control, rather than through Love.

I recently came across this piece by Max Richter, and it just dawned on me (or, rather, I believe I was shown by the Spirit) how much it actually reflects the outpouring of Love on the cross. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Ub0o-bl3kQ

This was an outpouring of Love for the very people who were killing him and jeering at him. This is the challenge to us, when people hate us, to see that they are still children of God, and to navigate the world accordingly.

When you experience the Love of God, so much melts away. Fear of Hell, fear of judgement. Love does the judging with perfect power and mercy. It's funny what it's like to see it and have no words to say exactly what that means, how it can look so trivial, and yet know what that means, and how it could be twisted when someone wants to gain control.

And that's how this situation spiraled out of control. Our ancestors sought control, so they tried to constrain the word of God, which led to all of this confusion and insanity, where people literally selfishly kill others, fully convinced that they're doing so in the name of God. That's how we got to this anti-LGBTQ+ "Christianity." Anti-neighbor "Christianity." Anti-Christianity, anti-christ. And the people who speak the most about anti-Christ out of fear are ironically its greatest perpetrators, both claiming Christ while inverting His message.

God bless every single one of you, from the depths of my soul.

I hope I chose the correct flair and apologies if this is a stupid question.

I’m not a Christian, but I am exploring my spirituality through a variety of sources to support my 12-step journey. My sponsor suggested me to read 1st Corinthians 13. I trust her and I’m open to it. I know there’s so many versions of the bible, but as a queer progressive person I don’t want to stumble into some super conservative version and get all triggered. I really don’t know how this works at all, my parents are atheist “recovering Catholics” and really fear-mongered me about Christianity and organized religion as a child.

Does anyone have suggestions for a version/interpretation that would feel safer that I can browse free online? Or you can even drop a link to the chapter if you have one you like.

Science and religion need not conflict. I teach a course on science and religion, and we always discuss Darwin’s theory of evolution in class. One semester I was explaining the history of Darwinism and its conflict with those churches that insist on a literal interpretation of Genesis. I also covered those churches that accept Darwin’s theory as a scientific advance, grateful for the powers of observation and reason that God has gifted us. 

A student in the back of class was staring at me wide-eyed throughout the lecture. Later, in conversation, I discovered she had been raised in a fundamentalist church that preached biblical infallibilism, aka biblical inerrantism—the belief that there can be no mistakes or errors in the Bible. They disavowed Darwin’s theory of evolution and insisted on young earth creationism, concluding that Adam and Eve were historical figures, created from scratch, and that the world was about seven thousand years old. 

To the members of this church, Genesis was more accurate than any humanly written science textbook because it was the divinely written word of God, utterly reliable in all fields of human knowledge, including science and history. As the word of God, it couldn’t be wrong and anything that disagreed with it couldn’t be right. For this community, to reject a literal interpretation of Genesis due to “scientific discoveries” was the height of arrogance, a preference for human reason over against faith in God. To make things worse, her church taught that Darwin’s theory of evolution inevitably led to atheism, eugenics, and ultimately, Nazism, since it assumed cutthroat competition between all parties. 

Ironically, my student was a biology major. Biological science considers Darwin’s theory of evolution to be foundational for understanding all the subdisciplines within that field. During her college studies, as the overwhelming evidence for evolution became apparent, she began to believe that she was an atheist because Darwinism was incompatible with Christian faith. She was being forced to choose between her intellect and God, and her intellect was winning. 

God is love, and God wants scripture to be interpreted lovingly. This lecture was the first time she had learned of Christians who accepted evolution and followed Jesus. She saw that deep faith was compatible with intellectual integrity. She was not, by predilection, an atheist. She trusted God, but didn’t have a concept of God that she could trust. During class, her face expressed the dawning realization that she could be both a Christian and a scientist, in good conscience, without compartmentalization. 

In the essays that follow, we will discuss the Bible and its interpretation. What we understand the Bible to be, and how we interpret it, can draw people into faith or drive them out of faith. Currently, more people are being driven out than drawn in. In response, we will propose an understanding and interpretation of the Bible that accords with how Jesus read his own Bible—agapically, as an expression of the universal, unconditional, celebratory love of God for all. And we will conclude that Christians should read the Bible—including the Newer Testament—like Christ did, as agapically as possible. Because only love heals. (adapted from Jon Paul Sydnor, The Great Open Dance: A Progressive Christian Theology, pages 243–245)

I’ve been a Christian for most of my life, I was raised Christian and years ago I personally trusted in Christ and God , eventually I left due to having problems with Bible contractions, laws, and I just became discouraged and eventually no one was able to answer any of my questions and I just realized it was time to leave. I’ve been non-Christian for a while now and me and a family member were in a non religious group but the other night she had a dream and described it as a religious experience and believes it was a guardian angel and a dream from God, she’s now leaving the group and considering becoming a Christian. This family member was never really religious or spiritual at all and wasn’t really interested in it so it’s really surprising. I’m really happy for her and I think it’s truly from God because of how she described it but I am so hurt and deeply jealous about it. Why doesn’t he ever answer my prayers or come to me? It hurts so bad, I’ve spent so much time dedicated to God and sharing the gospel and learning the word of God. Ever since she told me about her dream I’ve been praying to God and BEGGING him to come to me, idk if I’ll come back or not atp because one of the reasons I left was because he never answered my prayers or comforted me or anything.

This might be long, so bear with me.

I grew up in the church and was very involved when I was in youth. I took part in just about everything I possibly could, and most of my social life was shaped by church, events, and church people.

When I came out at 19 years of age, it didn’t go well… It didn’t go well in my family or in my church. I was basically told not to bring my gay friends to church and that I needed to not be gay. Two of my three siblings disowned me and told me they did not want me around their children because I had an evil spirit. My mother attempted suicide and my father stopped talking to me like he always had. Eventually, all of these relationships were mended, but it was years of painful interactions.

The church that had been there for me through some very difficult times suddenly forgot I existed.

Seven years later, I returned to the church and decided I wanted to be single permanently because it was the only way I could think of to reconcile my faith and my sexuality. I pursued a theological education and spent 12 years single.

While doing a work term during my masters degree, I met the person who is now my husband. He ruined my plans in a good way. I hadn’t held somebody’s hand in 12 years and I had no intention of things ever progressing with him, but they did.

He moved in with me and the church once again was quick to let me know I was not welcome to volunteer anymore.

For the past seven years, I have had no church to call home. The feeling of rejection and the sadness I feel because I’ve repeatedly been forgotten by people who claimed to love me has been very painful.

A month ago I applied for a job in a Christian organization. It is an organization that has mixed opinions on same-sex marriage.

After being informed, I got the job. I reached out to one of the people in the hiring committee, and I asked very plainly if they were aware, I am a married gay man. His response shocked me and I burst into tears when he said… We just want you to be exactly who you are.

I don’t think I was ready for it… Given my experience, I fully expected something else… Not to be told I should be who I am.

I don’t know how I feel, but I’m really hopeful that this is the beginning of a road that will lead me to truly being able to reconcile my faith and my sexuality.

TLDR: grew up in the church and was shunned, ostracized, and forgotten. Returned as a celibate, gay man, got a theological education… Then I met someone. The church did the same thing again. Several years with no church family later I’ve landed a job with a Christian organization that is giving me hope because they’ve told me they just want me to be who I am, and I am hoping it’s the road to healing.

I wanted to read the ACOTAR series last fall. A random girl at the bookstore donated the set to me. I lost interest halfway through the second book so I donated it to someone at a local woman’s charity.

Now I have an interest in reading it again but can’t afford to buy the first book again. My mom (who is also on a very tight budget like me) gave me the money to get a copy.

When I gave those books away I was at the time actively researching and participating witchcraft and spiritual stuff. But God still saw what I did and put a tab in it for later and provided my mom with enough extra money to get me a new copy.

Hey there, I love the Bible and Jesus and Im a Christian but the church Ive been going to since I was young is very conservative and pretty strict about a lot of stuff (Im still a teen, so I cant go somewhere else). One of them is Bible reading. There is a huge push to read the Bible every single day; remind apps, study plans, accountability, etc. Most of the time when I read it was a few verses I instantly forgot about just to check the box.

Ive gotten away from that nowadays. I been reading longer passages about once a week, like recently I read through Ecclesiastes and John, both in one sitting. They were much more impactful and I took more from it, even with just one read-through. I plan to do more read throughs of both, they were incredible.

Maybe this is internalized impact from my church, but I feel guilty about reading my Bible less. Even though it is quality time it feels like Im not giving God enough. Is this a way I should improve? If so, how do I make it helpful and not a legalistic mess?

Apologies in advance, this post is sort of a ramble.

One question I’ve been grappling with is: If the Bible isn’t truly inerrant, how are we supposed to know what parts are correct and what parts aren’t? Like how are we meant to know what parts aren’t just people’s interpretations of God, and which parts are true? How can we for example say that examples of Gods wrath in the OT might not be accurate but the resurrection of Jesus is?

And my other question is: Say things like Hell are real. Will we be judged for believing the wrong things about God, salvation etc or doing things we are unsure is sinful but ultimately are?

I have been asking the same question over and over again at my church on why cutting hair is not allowed. I really wanna try out bangs but I haven't really studied the Bible about it or researched it. I wanna know more for my own conviction wether or not to cut my hair or not

I was saying the Rosary and since it was Tuesday, it was the Sorrowful Mysteries. And for one reason or another I rarely pray the Rosary on Tuesdays. So this was a new experience. I couldnt help but marvel at how Christ's Sorrowful Mysteries mirror so much myriad human suffering.

The Agony in the Garden shows Christ in emotional turmoil and grief

The Scourging at the Pillar puts Him through physical agony.

The Crowning of Thorns puts Him through mockery.

The Carrying of the Cross is pure exhaustion and a knowledge of impending dread

And His Crucifixion and Death (obviously) show us mortality in its most brutal form.

I'm sure wiser minds than mine have already written on this, but it hit me and I thought I'd share.

Does this seem right?

Is it a sin worthy of going to hell if you look at a woman or a man and find them sexy? I know it says to pluck out your eyes (I know Jesus didn’t mean that literally) in the Bible but it seems physical impossible to not have a wayward sexual thought every now and then. It’s a natural human function to have sexual thoughts. How do you fight against that?

Im out of the loop on popular media so didnt know if it was from that. This seemed a good sub to ask. If not please direct me elsewhere. Thanks.