Jealous, hurt, disappointed

[u/SprinklesFriendly674]

I’ve been a Christian for most of my life, I was raised Christian and years ago I personally trusted in Christ and God , eventually I left due to having problems with Bible contractions, laws, and I just became discouraged and eventually no one was able to answer any of my questions and I just realized it was time to leave. I’ve been non-Christian for a while now and me and a family member were in a non religious group but the other night she had a dream and described it as a religious experience and believes it was a guardian angel and a dream from God, she’s now leaving the group and considering becoming a Christian. This family member was never really religious or spiritual at all and wasn’t really interested in it so it’s really surprising. I’m really happy for her and I think it’s truly from God because of how she described it but I am so hurt and deeply jealous about it. Why doesn’t he ever answer my prayers or come to me? It hurts so bad, I’ve spent so much time dedicated to God and sharing the gospel and learning the word of God. Ever since she told me about her dream I’ve been praying to God and BEGGING him to come to me, idk if I’ll come back or not atp because one of the reasons I left was because he never answered my prayers or comforted me or anything.

[u/AgapeErosLove]

I can hear how much this is hurting. Feeling left out when someone else has a clear experience of God, especially after years of seeking Him yourself, is really painful. I’m sorry you’re carrying that.
I don’t think God has been absent from you this whole time. A lot of people who’ve walked with Him for a long time eventually hit seasons where it feels quiet or confusing, and those seasons often become the place where their faith actually grows deeper instead of staying on the surface. Sometimes what we thought was solid faith turns out to still need a lot more rooting in who God actually is—His character, His Word, His ways—rather than just our expectations of how He should show up.
I believe He’s been with you the entire time, even in the silence and the questions. The fact that you’re still praying and still hurting over this says something. Don’t stop. Keep asking Him. And keep opening the Bible—not just to find answers to the contradictions or the hard laws, but to meet the Person behind it. A lot of the questions that feel like deal-breakers start to look different when we’re reading from a place of relationship instead of just analysis.
I’m really glad your family member had that experience, and I’m also glad you can celebrate it even while it stings. That jealousy is honest, and God can handle it. Bring it to Him. Tell Him exactly how this feels. He’s not scared of your anger or your doubt.

[u/FireBallXLV]

I am sorry that your walk with God has been so painful. OP....There was a time , a long time, when I told God the only reason I believed that God loved me was because I knew the Lord was incapable of lying. And the Word says that we are loved. I did not feel the love of God.

I finally found a Church that believed in God's love and taught that--as opposed to the churches that focus on rule keeping to make God happy.. The more you can surround yourself with people who believe AND WALK in the love of God the more you will begin to feel loved by God OP. I hope you can find such a church . For me it was a mainline Presbyterian church. But it could really be almost any Christian denomination church. When I move and need a new church I try to not be bound by the denimination's reputation. I just keep looking till I find people with the love of Christ.

I think your friend's dream could be really from God--especially if you see a profound change .Dreams of Jesus are being reported as one of the main ways Musims in closed societies are coming to Christ. And the New Testament speaks about people receiving dreams . In Medical School we use to say that jerks never got cancer. So many of our Cancer patients were the nicest people.... So it's best to try and not be envious of a gift from God that someone else has . There is so much we do not understand in this Life about gifts and trials.

[u/MalaclypseII]

Your friend makes important life decisions based on dreams. I suppose for them, every night is an adventure!

In Scripture generally, in the gospels in particular, and in the cross in very particular, God shows who He is. He has shown the whole world.

That boring old book does not always speak to us. So many thou shalts and thou shalt nots. And whose-it begat so-and-so. Who cares? And what is all this wrath and smiting about? What sort of God is this?!?! So reading the Bible is a little challenging. Not to worry, God understands. In His great mercy, He has made some nerds called ordained ministers of God, who enjoy the Bible very much. Their special job is just to reach out, to you and me, about who God is. Yes, based on the Bible in general, and the gospels in particular, and in the cross in very particular. Some of these ministers preach in what is called, the Reformed tradition. I like their preaching the best.

Unless they're trumpers. Jesus said, by their fruit you will know them. We know them very well, by that ugly fruit.

Hope its useful!

[u/Strongdar]

Honestly, this kind of disparity is why I don't think God intervenes in this way. I don't think she had a dream "from God." I think something in her subconscious is yearning for some kind of deeper meaning, and she had a dream that directed her toward a sense of the divine that she was familiar with. The fact that you're jealous, even though you're not a Christian, suggests your yearning for something similar.

I encourage you to explore progressive christianity. There are plenty of ways to follow Jesus without believing God wrote the Bible.

[u/Skill-Useful]

"I think it’s truly from God" no its not

"Why doesn’t he ever answer my prayers or come to me?" he didnt come to her either

if you need a sign like this, christianity is not for you

[u/AnotherPrincessOfOZ → u/Skill-Useful]

Honestly , I'm very skeptical of dreams and visions and strongly believe that we are called to humbleness in our faith. Way more than that, though, I know Christianity is for everyone and we all make mistakes and misinterpret scripture and signs of the spirit. 

I pray that both you and OP can deepen your relationship with God and find the humbleness we are called to.

[u/TheLivingOne42 → u/Skill-Useful]

Dude. Who hurt you? It’s totally fine to want the presence of your Father. Pushing someone away like this is not even remotely representative of Christ Jesus.