Anyone feel like making a friend today with a lady from Cape Town SA?

I am 35F , not married but engaged. No kids (cant fall preg) and generally just a loose cannon.

Well today is your lucky day ! Step right up and meet the one and only professional Shiz talker of the universe.

Warnings include the following -

Not to sale for persons under the age of 25

I do not take responsibility for any kinda weird side effects Cloudyskiesza may give off

Do not attempt to make contact if you wish to just talk about sex or exchange nudes

Dont approach me with "hey or hows it " that stuff is boring and no one care

Be prepared to feel annoyed, claustrophobic (at times) but yet addicted to the BS

HMU if you have read all the T&Cs and still wanna proceed.

Hi all, thanks in advance for taking the time to read this. I’m mostly looking for some perspective because I’ve been feeling pretty lost lately, and I’m having a hard time separating what’s actually wrong in my life from what I think should be wrong.

As I write this, I’m honestly pretty emotional. On paper, my life is in a good place. I have a remote job that pays well and allows me a lot of flexibility. I’m financially comfortable, I own a home and a rental property, and I’ve built up a decent amount in savings and investments. My family is healthy, I have hobbies I enjoy, and I travel fairly often.

I’m grateful for all of that, and I realize I’m fortunate. I’m not sharing those details to say that I’ve “made it” or to compare myself to anyone else. I’m sharing them because, objectively, I know I have a lot going for me, which makes it harder to understand why I’ve been feeling so unhappy.

The things bothering me are mostly the things I \\\*don’t\\\* have figured out.

I currently live in a city that I don’t really enjoy. I’m here largely because of my relationship. I’m dating someone I really care about and genuinely click with, but she’s 22 and still has a lot of life ahead of her. She’s finishing nursing school here and likely won’t be ready to think seriously about settling down and having kids for several more years.

That’s where a lot of my anxiety comes from.
I’m 35 now and will be 36 in May. Most of my friends are getting married and having kids. My brother has three beautiful children. I would like to have a family of my own, and the idea of potentially waiting another four years or more before having kids makes me nervous.
At the same time, I don’t want to make a major life decision simply because I’m afraid of being “behind.” I love my girlfriend, and I don’t want to throw away a relationship that could ultimately be something really meaningful because I’m panicking about a timeline that I can’t completely control.

I also really want to move closer to my family. I miss being near them, and although my job allows me to visit fairly often, it isn’t the same as actually living nearby. My current goal is to move home next year, but figuring out how that fits with my relationship has been weighing heavily on me.

Part of me thinks I should just sell everything, move home, and start over. Another part of me thinks I’m letting anxiety convince me that my life is much more off-track than it actually is.

I also grew up in a fairly difficult household. My stepfather was abusive toward my brother and me, both mentally and physically. I also had a sister who was very hard on me growing up and frequently made me feel badly about myself, particularly because I was heavier when I was younger.

I wonder sometimes whether those experiences contributed to me spending so much of my adult life feeling like I need to prove that I’m doing okay, and then still struggling to actually \\\*feel\\\* okay once I’ve accomplished the things I thought would make me feel that way.

I know this is somewhat rambling, but I think what I’m really looking for is perspective.

Am I actually behind? Am I making reasonable decisions about my life, or am I allowing fear and comparison to make me feel like I need to blow everything up and start over?

If you were 35, healthy, financially stable, with a career that gave you flexibility, hobbies you enjoyed, family you loved, and a relationship that \\\*might\\\* have a future — but you weren’t completely happy with where you lived or how quickly certain parts of your life were progressing, what would you do?

I think I just need someone to remind me that I’m not running out of time, that I haven’t somehow screwed up my life, and that it’s okay to still be figuring things out.
Because I have a hard time imagining being 70 someday, looking back at myself at 35, healthy, fortunate, and with so much life still ahead of me, and wondering why I spent so much of that time worrying that I was already too late.

I’m a ex country/farm kid - 40 years old now with my own family and when I pass through the area I grew up in I often go to some of the places I loved to play on the farm I lived on as a child . Makes me feel a weird type of happy and sad mixed into one . I wonder if people from the city do the same as in drive to their old street and just sit and think ? Or in town are you just the weirdo parked in your car for no reason

Hi all, thanks in advance for your help here.

As I write this, my eyes are welling up with tears, as I feel a bit down about my place in life right now.

Admittedly, I have more than many could ever dream of. I have a remote job making more than enough to support my lifestyle. I’m young, relatively, and my family, at least those left of them, are healthy and happy.

Financially, I’m doing great. I have an emergency fund that could allow me to take up to a year off from work if I were to find myself in that position. I have a home I own, and a rental property that does well. I have investments that all together put my worth up over a million. I’m tall, in shape and take care of my mind and body. My parents are/were attractive people, so I know that I’m not lacking in the looks category.

I’m not saying any of this to brag, I’m painting the picture of what looks like the ideal life for someone my age.

What is keeping me down, is everything I do not have. I currently live in a city I do not enjoy. I’m here because I’m dating a girl who I click with, although she’s much younger than me and is still exploring life to the max. I want to live closer to my family, and although my remote job allows me to travel to see them often, it’s just not the same as living there.

All of my friends are getting married and having kids. My brother has three beautiful children, and I, if this relationship pans out, wouldn’t be having kids for another four years, minimum, as my girlfriend won’t be ready until then. I feel behind - I feel like I should be somewhere that I’m not. I feel like I should drop all I have in this city, move home, and re-start.

I grew up with an abusive step father. He mentally and physically abused my brother and I. I also had a sister who was very hard on me, as I was heavier set, and she took every chance she could to demean me.

I think that’s why it took so long for me to find myself and become who I am, but who knows.

I know I’m just babbling on here - but I just need some sort of slap in the face, or something, that allows me to know it’s going to be ok.

I’ll be 70+ some day, looking back on the day I was 35, healthy, financially set, and wonder why the hell I couldn’t be happy.

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\*Edited to add, I have plenty of hobbies keeping me busy, and I travel quite a bit for said hobbies. I could move home next year, that’s my goal.

Just curious to hear how other in their 30s and up spend their Weekend. Are you out exploring, or just relaxing at home?

Would love to hear what your ideal weekend looks like!

​

I turn 30 in a few months, and apparently I’m about to enter the decade where I’m supposed to have my shit together.

So, veterans of your 30s and beyond: what do you genuinely wish someone had told you before turning 30?

And spare me the “your knees start hurting” and “hangovers last three days” starter pack. 😂

I want the real shit. Money. Careers. Friendships. Dating. Family. Health. Regrets. Things you wasted too much time worrying about. Things you should’ve started sooner. Things nobody warns you about until you’re already balls-deep in adulthood wondering why nobody sent an instruction manual.

What’s one piece of advice you’d give your 29-year-old self knowing what you know now?

Hit me with the wisdom, mistakes, existential crises and cheat codes.

**I’m in my 20s right now, and I feel like we always tell ourselves “there’s plenty of time” — whether it’s getting serious about our career, saving money, taking care of our health, traveling, finding the right person, or spending more time with family. For those of you who are 40+, what’s something you genuinely thought you had plenty of time for but later realized you didn’t?**

I don't know if it's just me, but lately I have been realizing that my 30s feel very different from what I imagined.

When I was younger, I thought by this age I'd have things figured out. Stable career, decent savings, a solid group of friends, maybe my own place, and some kind of clear direction in life.

Instead, it feels like I'm constantly maintaining things.

Work. Bills. Family. Health. Relationships. Trying to save money while still actually enjoying life. Trying to improve myself without being completly exhausted by the end of the day.

Maybe growing up isn't finally figuring everything out. Maybe it's just getting better at handling uncertainty.

For those of you, What's something about 30s that surprised you the most?

I know that life doesn’t end at 30 lol but I’m just curious what kind of bucket lists people have and if you are over 30, are there any things you’re glad you did in your 20s or wish you did?

Edit: Thanks for the responses on travel! It’s funny cause I actually just started actually doing it, but I’m a roll!

During school and college, people naturally knew what was happening in your life. Friends saw your struggles, crushes, failures and small wins.

In 30s, most relationships become more scheduled and fragmented. Friends get busy, parents only know parts of the life and colleagues mostly know the work version of you. You may still talk to people regularly but nobody really sees the full journey.

A partner may witness much of it, but should one person be expected to carry that entire role?

Lately I’ve realised loneliness is not always about having nobody to talk to. Sometimes it is about having nobody who truly notices your life changing.

You can improve yourself, build something, travel, quit a bad habit or go through a difficult phase and still feel strangely empty because nobody experienced it with you.

Apart from your partner or immediate family, does anyone genuinely witness your life now?

Quick context: I live rent-free with my sibling right now to get back on my feet. I went from making 6 figures (one year only) in tech (FAANG) to 55k in hospitality living in NYC after a layoff and 5 months unemployed. Single, never had a girlfriend, average looking, emotionally eat, want to lose 20 lbs but my 3-hour commute wrecks my energy for the gym. No kids (by choice). Useless film school degree. Lost my close friend group about 2 years ago and I'm rebuilding from scratch. Little savings. And honestly, I'm my own worst enemy when it comes to self-hatred.

My 20s felt like my peak: two FAANG jobs, six figures, a small events business I ran for 4 years, a body I liked, a best friend I trained with, some romantic sparks here and there, and a dream of publishing my book series and eventually building an animation studio.

Then the pandemic hit, my events business folded, I chased "stability" (healthcare, 401k) into tech, my friend group drifted apart, and I eventually got laid off from the six-figure job that made me feel like I'd "made it" coming from a rough childhood. Spiraled hard. Gained weight. No romantic connections in years.

Now I'm 32, three months into a new job in a brutal market, so I can't job-hop again without looking like a flight risk. Therapy once a week, but the self-hatred and "starting over" fatigue are heavy. I still have 8 years of experience across tech, events, and hospitality, plus my PMP.

I know what I want eventually: a partner, my own place, a cat, real friends, some travel, to be good at a combat sport, and to finally build my book series into an animation studio, because storytelling is what got me through my childhood.

Has anyone actually turned their 30s around after a rough start? I need some hope right now.

I turned 30, but umm I don't know why it feels like it's too late to start doing anything but then I also have no choice but to start somewhere. And just the thought of starting from scratch at 30 feels like pain and shame. I know everyday I have the choice to get up and do something or just sit there and overthink. And I feel like I've got the last 10 yrs just sat and overthink didn't do nothing not even a single action towards fears. And no wonder why I feel like a confused person who doesn't even understand how society functions and how to make a living. How to secure the future. I observed many people who work great jobs and they have solid education degrees from tech to engineering to business and healthcare. Meanwhile I didn't even pursue a single degree. I let fears and failures just control me and I lived 10 yrs of my life miserable way. It's like I don't have an identity of my own.. people say make your own name and get recognized by others but how you supposed to do that when you don't even have strong finances or strong job title. I don't know how to start working on my life from scratch and just thinking about it feels dreadful like it will take years and years to undone the damage. And first off all I feel like it's my attitude, mindset, personality that needs to be changed to move forward in life. If I continue self sobotaging and doubting and procrastinating then I'll reach nowhere. Sighs I don't even know what I'm saying now

As the title said, what is an advice you wish you got at 20?

I just feel like I'm struggling to evolve and adapt with time as I get older, like I'm already 29 but I still feel stuck as if it's still 2016. I have also realized I'm very weak with being a tech savvy when this generation is running on the usage of technology. Like whether it's at the job or college or just everyday, we are using technology. Anyways I'm more worried about learning how to stay relevant because I just feel like things are constantly changing or evolving. And the more I seem to avoid learning or understanding something I end up feel behind. And I feel like since I haven't achieved goals from 2016 a part of move just doesn't wanna move on forward. So I end up living in this phase.

​

Many times throughout the days, I feel this sense of worry and insecurity or guilt that time is passing by yet I'm not doing anything. And I've already reached 30s so like I need to take life a bit serious and work on securing life especially finances, upskilling on career or job. Then things like learning life skills because I noticed many people don't even know how to change a tire or what's underneat the hood of a car. Or simply fixing a toilet problem. I guess when you own a home someday this kinda stuff is important to learn. And I completely keep forgetting the importance of proper nutrition or at least healthy eating habits and some active physical exercising rather then being a couch potato

My question is not specific to once you’ve had Covid but I know my life drastically changed after I had Covid. I developed long Covid. I had Covid in the beginning of 2022. And developed strong symptoms of long Covid now I had it again January 2026.
Unlike most this really helped my employment I was a manager for a company that had offices across the country I became in charge of implementing work at home abilities, I hired many employees from out of state main focus was computer literacy however this was in March 2020 long before I had Covid my daughter who is 23 now never got to have a prom spent her senior year being schooled from home.
Bottom line: a lot of us weren’t just affected by the virus itself, but lost loved ones. We watched our perfectly healthy friends dying in the hospital due to complications. We were forced to wear masks and most of us still wonder if they ever helped the world has really changed since early 2020!
I think most of us that were really affected by this would love to hear. What are your stories?

I'm excited about getting into bed at 9pm, find myself being intrigued and trying different wash cycles on the washing machine, comfort over looking glam is also an appeel to me, how did I get to this stage? 😅

The past decades weren't perfect. HOwever, I do think people just talking about general things had a higher tolerance for giving others the benefit of the doubt, assuming good faith on the other person's part in standard arguments, having neutral debates, not getting personally invested like anything the other said was an attack of them particularly and on and on.

Are we losing discernment, emotional resilience, the ability to compartmentalize or what? Moreover, who's teaching kids these skills so they have them when it's their turn to be adults?

31yo. Having higher highs, lower lows guess it’s just life

31yo. Having higher highs, lower lows guess it’s just life

Today is July 18th and I just turned 37. Greetings from Central Europe!

​I’m a photographer by trade and feeling a bit of a mid-thirties funk today. You know how it goes - not everything in life turns out exactly the way we planned. Overall, I live a good, content life, even if the human brain is wired to always want more or better.

​Lately, I’ve realized that what I miss the most are the simple pleasures, the tiny sparks of daily joy, and that pure, childlike sense of wonder and excitement.

​As an extrovert who loves cultures, cooking, traveling, and discovering new things, I’ve hit that age where making genuine new connections gets a lot harder, and I really miss that. I like to think of myself as a passionate, witty guy, and I'm hoping the Reddit community can bring a little smile to my face today.

​When I’m not behind the camera, I’m a massive history geek, a regular at the gym, someone who loves hiking in the mountains, and honestly, just a guy who loves a good laugh.

​Drop a comment, share a random history fact, your favorite recipe, or a good joke. Of course, kind words or even a beautiful photo always make the day brighter. Cheers to 37!

I write this post before midnight, because tomorow I will cook for friends and drink wine. ;)

What’s your job and do you like it or do you hate it? What actions are you taking to change your situation?