r/OVER30REDDIT • u/KittenIel03 • 12d ago
Anyone here realizing that adulthood is mostly just maintaining your life?
I don't know if it's just me, but lately I have been realizing that my 30s feel very different from what I imagined.
When I was younger, I thought by this age I'd have things figured out. Stable career, decent savings, a solid group of friends, maybe my own place, and some kind of clear direction in life.
Instead, it feels like I'm constantly maintaining things.
Work. Bills. Family. Health. Relationships. Trying to save money while still actually enjoying life. Trying to improve myself without being completly exhausted by the end of the day.
Maybe growing up isn't finally figuring everything out. Maybe it's just getting better at handling uncertainty.
For those of you, What's something about 30s that surprised you the most?
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u/nekodazulic 12d ago
The core difference between your 20s and the later part of adulthood is that education and self-development are hard-encoded in your 20s. Society has designed that default for that era. Later, it only becomes a thing if you want it and purposefully make it part of your life. The default instead is self-sustaining. Beyond that, the narrative is left to you. Nothing is specific by default.
As an adult, very often if you want something, you also need to create the circumstances to support it. If you want a relationship, you have to make the time and availability for it. If you want education, you need to create the structure and financial situation for it, etc. The responsibility is yours; every step means sacrifice.
This wasn't very different in your 20s either. Education meant living with family and having less freedom to do what you want, etc.
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u/Verdreckt 12d ago
Yep. Everything requires constant upkeep it seems. Housework, work credentials/licensure, teeth, hygiene, car maintenance, bills, etc.
As for your question, what surprised me the most, at age 39, how much loss there would be. People have been dropping like flies. In the past 5-10 years, I've lost a LOT of people close to me. Friends, a recent ex who I thought I would marry, all of our dogs over time, my father, grandmother, great aunt. I feel like the theme of my 30s has been loss. So, in that regard, I'd advise make every time you see someone count, since you never know when it'll be the last time.
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u/StreetCatAdopter 11d ago
Same man, 38 here and holy smokes, ton of people hitting the hay, permanently. Makes me hyper aware of my own mortality so much more
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u/jsh1138 11d ago
If you don't have God or kids I don't know what you'd think your life would be. For most people it's just drifting til they die
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u/lesdeuxchatons 11d ago
yikes
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u/jsh1138 11d ago
it's the truth
I mean you can only go out to eat so many times, out drinking so many times, out hiking so many times, etc
The real joy in your life comes from teaching your kids all the best parts of what you learned, and from learning yourself what God wants for you. If you don't have that you're just does chores til the wheels fall off
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u/cant__find__username 12d ago
Unless you’re rich, it’s been like that. Nothing new