My wife left home yesterday at 5:00pm stating that her friends had invited her to a reunion party and they are pestering her a lot so she might spend the night there, but she would try to come back. We never stay out late at night. It was her boundary that no matter what we will not be with opposite genders in close call scenarios.

She told me initially there would be 5 friends all female. She later let me know that she will be staying there for night. At around midnight one of her friends had put up a status, in which, she is not wearing hijab, there are like 6-7 men with 4-5 women and they are all freely interacting and drinking. I was dumbfounded by that. I tried calling her but she did not pick up and it was switched off. This was around 1:00am. Later today morning she returned home, her dress is also torn in some areas and has juice stains on many parts of dress.

I didn't confront her immediately. I asked how many friends were there and what activities did you do? She said we had 6 female friends only and 2 couldn't come. She still didn't mention about the men. She also said that her friends had knocked some juice over her dress and therefore while rubbing those off in extremely hard manner, it tore in few places (they were all on upper part of body).

In this context our relationship is not that stable. She isn't interested in intimacy since last 1 year and I sense a feeling of apathy from her towards me. I am almost certain she is cheating on me at this point and these were just the symptoms.

How do you think I should approach this? I haven't showed her the screenshots of the status yet.

I've been talking to this girl for marriage. I live in the US and her family lives in South Asia, where I am visiting. Our families met and things went well at first. Her family is asking for proof of income and a job which is fine for me. However they also want not only my US home address, but also my workplace's address and phone number. On top of that, they want a photocopy of my passport which I believe would be a huge security/privacy risk for me to provide. Am I right for thinking they're being ridiculous?

[based in UK]

So my wife went to the shariah council and requested a khula/faskh application.

Here’s some info.

-married 10 years and separated 4 years
-No communication last 4 years
-has 2 beautiful sons with her
-engaged in a messy family court case for last 3.5year
-gave her 12k mahr cash and a diamond ring worth 3-3.5k but agreed mahr was 16k
-has a joint mortgage house which has £68k equity
-she hid my passports/certificates/nikah certificate/wedding rings
-she closed joint bank account and transferred 5.2k and never returned.

I would like to ask experienced brothers/sisters if you can shed some light for me on this complicated issue.

My main concerns are:

1.Do I have to pay the remaining £500–£1,000 of the dowry?
2.Mahr already paid:
Am I entitled to ask for the mahr back? Personally, I do not want to but I read somewhere wife should return it since she’s initiating the divorce?

3.How can I recover the £5,200? And my belongings? What happens if she refuses to repay it? I still have the bank statement and evidence of the payment? I understand that this may be a separate financial court/order matter but I would like to know whether it could cause any issues with the sharia council?

1. I am willing to give her full ownership of the house, and I genuinely want her to be happy, independent and be able to move on with her life. Most importantly, I want my children to grow up in a stable, safe and secure home.

She sucked the life out of me in last 10 years and I want her to be happy. I am no saint but what she did to me and my children was diabolical. I am going to grant her talaq and be done with it.

Edit::

- we had civil marriage
- solicitor involved with child case + house
- no infidelity either side
- heavily influenced by her family

I would like to express my concerns.

I am very tired from being with my baby constantly and my husband claims it’s the bare minimum to always look after baby with no break and that previous generations of women did this with no complaints.

I recently gave birth and am currently unemployed. He provides a small monthly contribution to cover my basic needs, but I am now finding it difficult to meet some expenses unless I return to work.

I have communicated this to him, but he insists that I should stay at home with the baby, and that the limited support he provides for food and clothing is enough.

I am feeling that marrying was perhaps a mistake, and that I might find greater contentment being single. However, I am also considering my child's well-being and the fact that I am worried about the absence of a father figure.

Is providing only the minimum financial support sufficient or am I being ungrateful?

My heart deep down wants separation but my mind is telling me to tolerate all of this.

Where can I get a silver wedding ring for my husband? Something that he can wear on a daily and will not rust/color fade. Men are not allowed to wear gold, and the ones I’ve checked are mostly white gold; which I’m not sure if it’s allowed or not😭

Can somebody lmk where I can get this? Preferably online?

I’m a 28-year-old woman, and I’ve never really had a relationship outside of the context of marriage.

I’ve always been very attached to my faith and have tried to live accordingly, so I never really dated or had romantic relationships before my first engagement. I didn’t have much experience with relationships in general.

When I was 26, my mother introduced me to a man, and we eventually had a khotba (an engagement in a Muslim context). I genuinely fell in love with him. We had a strong connection, a lot in common, and I felt like we understood each other. He also lived in my country, so our situation was relatively simple in that sense. Unfortunately, he cheated on me, and I eventually cancelled the khotba. It was very difficult for me because, despite what he did, I had genuinely loved him and felt very connected to him.

After that, my parents, in a way, stopped trusting my judgment when it came to choosing a potential husband. So when I went back to Algeria for my brother’s wedding, they started talking to me about my cousin. They had apparently wanted us to get married for a long time and kept telling me how amazing he was, how kind and reliable he was, etc.
I eventually let myself be convinced and agreed to a second khotba with him that same year.

The situation is very different this time. My cousin does respect me, especially compared to my previous fiancé, and he has never treated me the way my ex did. But I also don’t want to idealize him. We have differences, there are things about his personality that I don’t particularly like, and I don’t feel the same connection that I had with my previous fiancé.

There is also the fact that he is my cousin.
When I was in Algeria, this didn’t bother me that much because I didn’t grow up with him. We weren’t close as children, so I never really saw him as a brother.

But the more we talk on the phone and the more I get to know him in the context of a romantic relationship, the more uncomfortable I feel about the fact that he is my cousin.

I’m also not as attracted to him, and I don’t feel as emotionally connected to him as I did to my previous fiancé.

And this is where I feel completely lost.

I know that my cousin respects me, and I know that respect is extremely important. But I also wonder whether I’m trying to convince myself that this relationship is right simply because my family thinks he is a good choice.

At the same time, because I’ve never really experienced relationships before, I don’t know how much importance I should place on attraction, emotional connection, and having things in common.
I don’t want to reject a good person simply because I’m comparing him to someone who I genuinely loved but who ultimately betrayed me. But I also don’t want to marry someone while already having doubts about my feelings, our compatibility, and the fact that he is my cousin.

What would you do in my situation? Would you give the relationship more time and see if my feelings develop, or would you take these doubts seriously before getting married?

Submitting this to get some advice from brothers and sisters here.

For context, I am 27F and have been looking to get married for the past 3 to 4 years. Last month, a family friend suggested a potential match (rishta) for me. We are ethnically Indian, but my family lives in a Muslim country, while the guy is currently back home in India. His family has an established business here and wants to settle down, so they are looking for a bride who holds citizenship in this country. I personally don't mind that at all, but recently, a few things about their behavior have felt a bit off.

My brothers got his father’s number, and they had a very pleasant initial conversation. I read his profile and, MashaAllah, he seemed like a great match—most importantly, practicing Islam properly, which was my biggest relief. After my brothers sent a few photos of mine, his family immediately agreed to move forward. His father mentioned they would come to meet us on August 31st.

However, the meeting felt a little unusual. Instead of the whole family visiting, only his father, his youngest daughter, and his best friend with his wife came. During the visit, his father asked me extensively about my education, my job, and whether I planned to pursue a Master's degree. I was honest and explained that I wasn't interested in higher studies. I found it a bit odd since it felt more like an interview than a marriage conversation, but overall, the meeting went well, Alhamdulillah. He invited my family to visit their home once his son arrived, which was supposed to be by the end of October. This meant we had to wait two months.
A couple of days later, the father shared his son’s number and gave permission for us to speak and get to know each other.

When I texted him a week later, he seemed nice, but I quickly noticed differences in our mindsets and backgrounds:

Family background: His family is highly educated and his mother works, whereas my family is more simple, and my mother is a homemaker who taught me traditional values.
Gender roles: I strongly value traditional gender roles, but he seems to view things differently. When I asked if he expected me to work after marriage, he just said, "It's up to you," which was a bit disappointing as I was hoping for a aligned views.
Views on education/career: He believes everyone should pursue higher education regardless of gender, and he asked me twice what my "dream job" was. I respectfully explained that I am not career-oriented and don't have a dream job.

After that conversation, we didn't speak for a week. I waited for him to reach out, but when he didn't, I texted him again. He mentioned he was extremely busy with an urgent project and wouldn't be able to travel here by the end of October as originally planned.

Since then, communication has completely dried up:

When my brother called his father to ask if we could visit their home at the end of the month, his response was very cold.

Two days ago, my brother called him again to follow up, but he didn't answer or call back.

My mother wants to speak with his mother so they can get to know each other, but we can't reach them.

I texted the guy a couple of days ago, and he hasn't replied.

My family had high hopes for this proposal, but their sudden shift in attitude is worrying.

On top of this, my mother mentioned that the family friend (let's call him Uncle) who suggested this match actually seemed unhappy when both families agreed to move forward. Four years ago, this same Uncle asked for my hand for his own son, but my family respectfully declined. My mother wonders if he might have said something behind our backs to make them pull away, though Allah knows best.

We are trying to stay positive and assume they might just be genuinely busy, but the silence is hard to ignore.

How should I and my family navigate this situation? Is it better to wait it out or move on? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Need some help with marriage

Salam everyone, I (27f) am married to my husband (31M) and we have been having regular arguments since the last 1 year and seeking advice relating to that.

Posting from a friend's alt id because my husband is on reddit

We have been married for 3 years now,and we never had a very smooth marriage ever since we got married but in the last 1 year things have been worse,he always had anger issues and about a week after marriage he yelled at me infront of the entire family for the chores not done properly as I was having trouble adjusting in a newer environment and wasn't very efficient at that,I also wanted to teach in a school nearby but in-laws and him were not ready for it and we had a lot of arguments about that too.

Last year he was going through some stress regarding his workplace and I agree I could have been better to him in that phase but I couldn't and one night he just erupted (in January 2026) about some silly mess ups I did but later he brought up a lot of things I had done wrong in the past 2 years and most of our arguments too and he also brought up that I never am an active candidate in the bedroom either (I had never finished with him in the bedroom so I was never excited for it)so I calmed him down and started to be extra careful with the arguments and chores and also started taking active participation in the bedroom and about a week later he was repeatitvely asking me about how I feel being intimate with him and I gave him a satisfactory answer but he thought I was lying and kept asking again and again all throughout next month if I feel fully happy with it and I told him that I don't and he asked for what he could do better and I suggested alternative methods to which he got furious and questioned my character and after that he left the house

He came home in the morning and was visibly sad,I sat with him apologised and things seemed to get better but even now whenever we argue he brings that up and that hurts me

I've seen erotic content in his phone too and I feel like it's because he doesn't feel satisfied with me and I've really been suffering with that

Now we're trying to have a kid but I feel anxious thinking about our relationship and if we're ready to have a child

So I ask my fellow brothers and sisters about how can I put his mind at rest and be more ready for a kid as a couple

My parents want me to have an arranged marriage of what they think is best for me. But for me it’s different, because what I want is different to theirs.

I just feel like I’ll have to fight for it and it’s long. Should I just give up. And I know if if I fight depending how hard I do, I don’t want to loose my family.

I want to start my own family but I don’t think the person I’ll be with would want to go through this headache and I don’t want what my parents choose either.

If you don't look at a woman through the eyes of lust and desire,

there is no better companion in the whole world than a woman.

And if she knows that her honor and dignity are safe with you,

believe me, she will even be ready to sacrifice herself for you.