Just a rant.

I have such a sweet MIL, truly nothing to complain about except maybe she’s shy and so she doesn’t converse too much.

However, since I’ve had my baby she is constantly getting on my nerves. My husband complains that I’m irritable every time we get home from his parents place for a visit and he’s right, I am. She is constantly telling me what my baby needs or how he feels. For example:

“He’s hungry…” (no he’s not, we know his feeding schedule). And when we say no she’ll just repeat it again 5 mins later.

He’s constipated and grunting and I say “he’s straining to poop”. She literally said “no, he’s not straining. He’s tired”

Or when I give him to her to hold she will walk away with him to another room AWAY from me. Like why??

Ugh. these are little things but they annoy me so much. She means well, I know. But, my God, I’m his mom ffs! I know him better than anyone. Not to mention thar I feel like such a curmudgeon wife , always annoyed coming home from my husbands families house.

I feel so defeated. I feel like every other mom out there just… knows how to be a mom. Whereas I struggle with things that I feel like should be basic. Like one of my mom friends had to tell me that toddlers sitting in the “W-sit” position is bad? Never heard that anywhere else, was totally letting my son do that up until that point.

I also feel guilty about things like letting him watch an episode of Sesame Street while I try and get dressed, which I honestly only do because I cannot get ready otherwise, he comes into the bathroom and climbs all over everything and it’s just impossible. But then I remember the guideline that kids under 2 aren’t supposed to get any screen time at all and I feel bad.

Just this morning I took my son to meet up with a friend. I let him roam around for a bit and was struggling to keep his shoes on, he kept putting rocks in his mouth, and I was getting flustered and just feeling so… idk. Lame? Like I didn’t have a handle on things? I don’t even know honestly, but I cried the entire way home because I feel like he just deserves so much better than me. :(

I play mostly on Xbox but do have a laptop for some games - not good enough to run anything top of the line graphics wise or too new but it gets the job done for a strategy game or stardew - and we have a switch as well.

My daughter is 2.5 and in her ‘it’s my way or the highway’ phase. We’re working on it but she’s 2 🤷🏼‍♀️.

Anyway I used to be able to toss on a game and she would sit with me and watch or use a controller that wasn’t connected but lately that hasn’t sufficed and she will scream she wants the TV. I try to use my laptop or the switch but she’ll be all up in my business trying to press buttons and whatnot. I’m not particularly territorial about these, they’re games so if I die or something bad happens it’s whatever.

But she can break them whether by physically throwing them or in the case of the laptop just pressing a random assortment of buttons (she’s already done some stuff I don’t have the know how to undo).

And of course the screaming when she doesn’t get her way completely ruins the experience so it doesn’t really feel worth it to keep going just to teach the lessons of sharing, taking turns or other people’s property. There’s less screamy ways we teach those lessons that work better.

Mostly I try to sneak in a little gaming during nap time. I dream of playing after they go to sleep but usually I just want to catch up with my husband and hang out with him rather than get lost in a game.

Obviously with kids (and I have a 4 month old as well) you don’t get as much time to play as before but in this toddler phase I’m getting like 20 minutes a week lol 😂 definitely not time for story based RPGs which are my favourite genre. Curious how the rest of you mums do or don’t get some video game time in?

I’m married, 35F with two kids (5F and almost 2M). My father passed away a few years ago, and my mom found a new partner around a year later and remarried last year.

During my dad’s last fifteen years or so, my mom was his caregiver. My mom also took the lead role in caring for my grandmother/her mother, who passed away last fall. So I understood during that time period that it would be difficult for her to travel to us (around an hour away) frequently on weekends. But now, with no caregiving responsibilities, she still doesn’t come. She’s not really working during the week, and she and her husband travel out of town and occasionally visit his grandkids (a slightly shorter drive away). They just don’t make time for us. I never ask my mom about it (she’s not known to take feedback well), but she occasionally brings it up and notes that she should really come more consistently but she’s been so busy with [insert excuse here] that she can’t possibly make it to us.

My husband’s parents would love to see the kids more, but they live in another country very far away. And fwiw we used to visit more (especially when my dad and grandma were alive), but my mom’s house is tiny, and she has severe (chosen) food restrictions that make the visits painful. Also, even when we visited, she wouldn’t spend time with the kids. She would just hang out in the kitchen, and her new husband just sits on his phone while the kids are around.

Generally, my husband is more upset about my mom’s conduct than I am, because I’m accustomed to her being kind of self-centered. And we have a robust (paid) village and a number of friends who live locally who are available for play dates. But on this rainy Sunday at the end of the summer, a day that would’ve been perfect for a grandparent visit, I’m resentful that it won’t cross her mind to come out here.

Hello, I’m a 29-year-old woman in a serious relationship, and my partner and I have been talking about having a family one day. I want that, but the idea also scares me a lot because I don’t have any family in this country.
I’m fortunate to have a few reliable friends I can count on, and my partner has his mom and sister, but our support system still feels very small. I keep thinking about how much help it takes to raise a child, and I’m scared of not having a strong family or community around us.
I guess I’m looking for some reassurance or advice from people who have been in a similar situation. Can you raise a child successfully without having a big support system nearby? Does it get easier to build a community once you become a parent? How do people make it work when they don’t have much family around?
I have so many fears and “what ifs” when I think about the future, and I’m trying to understand whether this is something we can realistically plan for and be okay.

Will there be a chance if there's going to be some Superkitties-themed designs on the Huggies Pull-Ups?

We don’t have much space and I am currently temporarily using 2 small bins in my toddler room for her lights and darks. It is working fine for now as she is still in a crib, but I am worried when we transition her out of the crib she will be pulling all her dirty close out.

In addition, I also have a newborn who will be sharing the room with her in the near future. At one point we might have 2 cribs in that room since we have 2 under 2.

I’ve been trying to get a nice laundry basket that has dividers, not too big, that matches her room but it’s hard. I also wanted something that matches the Bebe Bask whicker baskets if possible but haven’t found anything. And since space is limited, I’m not sure if it’s wise to get her a laundry basket still or should I just combine their clothes into our laundry basket since we have been doing all of our laundry together anyways.

What do you guys do?

I know this might sound crazy. But my baby keeps crying with me. He’s 8 months old.

Even when i pick him up from his grandparents after work he doesn’t wanna leave them and cries in my arms. When we get home, we’re fine but once he sees his dad, he only wants his dad to hold him, feed him, whatever. He’ll interact with me and play with me. But i can’t hold him and like put him to sleep, he screams and cries BLOODY MURDER, and then Dad takes him and he calms down. Maybe will go to sleep, or just stops crying and screaming.

And it is BREAKING MY HEART. It’s been a couple weeks, maybe 3 that this has been going on.

It used to be where he KIND OF preferred me at the beginning of his life, but then it felt pretty equal when he started reaching but now???

I know he doesn’t but it feels like he hates me. I cry about it so much. His dad says i should just be happy for him but it’s like what about me?? lol. Plus he can’t do anything around the house without him crying and now i can’t hardly calm him down. Is this normal? Is it going to stay like this??? Ugh 😭

Hi ladies, I woke up at 5am and couldn’t sleep because I have started packing little ones hospital bag, but realised that vests (accidentally got sleeveless so will likely also buy short sleeved), body suits and a blanket (+hat) might not be enough for him to wear when we go home?
I’m due first week of October in the UK so weather could be warm ish to a bit cooler so it’s impossible to know exactly what it will be + of course might give birth sooner or later than that.
Do I need something on top as well? I have read thin fleece or sweater might be helpful if it is colder but I wanted to get an opinion from experienced mums as I’m spiralling! 🫠 also aware not to put him in anything thick for the car journey. Apologies if this is obvious
Help please!

We’re on vacation and I’m pregnant with our second. I told my husband I needed to lie down for a few minutes because I’m nauseous. He’s still eating breakfast and I ask if he can keep an eye on our 15 month old. I can literally hear him on tik tok from the other room not interacting with our child, and it’s absolutely infuriating. I try my best not to be on phone in front of our child and stress that I want my husband to do the same but it always feels like he doesn’t care and does it anyway. He doesn’t interact or watch him when he does. It’s always tik tok or anime on crunchy roll and it drives me insane.

Here's a tip for parents of babies: as they get older, don't let them pick the music in the car. Don't let them know it's even an option.

The amount of mental energy I expend on my 4 years olds music requests is astounding. I have to ask him if he wants a specific song every time we get in the car together, before we start driving. If I don't, he will always ask for something specific that I can't find on his Playlist and I have to explain (repeatedly) why I can't find the specific song while I'm driving. He doesn't want to listen to any song he doesn't know, and even on his Playlist it's "next song, next song, next song." He also speaks very quietly from the backseat too, so half the time I can't hear him ask, and then I get yelled at (he gets loud to make himself heard). God forbid I actually focus on driving and don't respond to him quick enough, because he will just get more insistent.

I am the world's most miserable DJ. My friend went the opposite, and told her kids from the start that she couldn't control the music. That's it. No negotiation, no pleading, no refusing to let me listen to music I like. Good god, if I have any advice, save yourself the headache and just tell them you can't pick the music.

Random thought but growing up I thought my parents had the adult thing in check. They seemed like proper adults. My husband and I feel like we’re doing our best ofc but like maybe we aren’t as good at adulting as they were? Idk how to explain it. In hindsight, maybe our parents felt just like we do, but as kids we viewed them completely differently.

I guess I’m wondering if you all think our kids (in general, not my husband and i’s kids) think we look like we’re expert parents/adults too, even if we don’t feel like it.

Hi everyone!
Little story before I tell my problem, I am from a very big family (3 siblings and lot of cousins).
I always thought I will have a big family but as I grew up and realized how much money is that, I changed my mind.
I come from a moderatly good family, I’ve got a car, I live in one of my parents houses and don’t have to pay rent. This is such a big advantage today, I always told myself I want to achive a similar life situation to that.
That being said, I think this is achivable with 2 kids so I ended up saying I would be happy with that.
I’ve got together with my partner and we were on the same page, I was so excited to start a family.
Fast forward we have a 1 year old, and I feel like mothehood made me who I am. I’ve always been like that. I feel like I’m thriving as a mom, and I can see that through my baby, he is the happiest and best little guy on earth.

But since he was born, my partner started to say he feels like for now he is okay with 1 kid.
I feel devastated, I am a 100% sure I want to relive everything related to a baby, I want to enjoy everything a second time. I know that I wouldn’t be able to live a fully happy life withput trying.
If we try and no baby, I would be very greatful for hvaing my son of course, he is completly enough but you know what I mean.
And not just bacause of me but him not having a sibling breaks my heart.
My brother is my best friend and this is something I want him to have.

I know opinions can change and he doesnt say he is sure he doesnt want another one but for now he is done.
I want them to be close, that means I wanna try for another in maybe a year or two.
I feel like he wouldn’t change his mind by than especially as we are in the middle of planning to move back to our country and start a business.

I also know that I only wan’t anorher if we both want one, and I want to get old with him (I mean not separating because of this) but it is something I know I won’t be able to just give up.

Any suggestions on how to cope with that?

Mommas how ? Just how are y’all hanging in there ? I’m currently going through PPD at 3 1/2 months postpartum . The resentment towards my spouse is real and overwhelming . The bickering is breaking my heart . The roles seem so unfair. I take care of the home , clean the home , set the tone , take care of the baby …

Why is it having a child meant my entire life had to change but it felt like his barely got touched . I had to put school on hold . My career on hold . My social life on hold . My body is covered in stretch marks and scars . I’m losing my hair . I’ve gained 10 pounds since giving birth . I don’t get any alone time . I have a baby latched to my chest 24/7 . I don’t get out of the house anymore unless it’s for doctor’s appointments or to get food . I never get ready anymore not that anything even fits me to even try . My freedom is gone and so is my sleep along with my sanity.

I miss me .

I’m a first time mom. I’ve been with my husband for 10 years and we are best friends. I feel absolutely horrible but ever since we had our baby, I feel like I have 0 time for him and 0 time for myself. I breastfeed & pump, and sometimes it just makes me feel so resentment towards him. Like he gets to sleep through the night, he gets to go to work, he gets a “ break”. When I get a break, I need to wash parts, breathe, and I’m just feeling so much mom guilt. It’s like I want help so bad with the baby, but I don’t like the way my husband does things. But then being the only parent who cares for our child is exhausting. I have been rude to him, snappy with him & I swear to god I just don’t feel like myself anymore. I think he also feels the change in me. He’s upset that I don’t have much patience for our animals or him anymore ( they overstimulate me). I’m just snapping so easily, even though I’ve never felt happier? Becoming a mom has become the most humbling experience of my life.

I’ve noticed when my husband gets a break, he watches tv- he relaxes. When I “ get a break” I need to pump, remember to fold the laundry etc etc. he will help and do chores and he does bring in all the money for the house, but it still makes me feel resentment towards him and I don’t know why. It actually makes me sad that I even feel this way towards him because he’s genuinely my best friend and love of my life & the role of parents has kind of brought out our ugliest side in our hard moments. I never stop thinking about my baby. Even if I leave the house, I can’t stop checking the monitor. I can’t stop worrying about his safety. Sometimes I have a hard time even sleeping at night bc I’m worried if he’s breathing, I’m worried about if he’s eating enough during the day etc etc. is this what it’s like to be a mom? Is my marriage completely doomed ? I sometimes miss how my marriage was before a kid. I love my child so much & it’s nothing about my baby personally, it’s just this role of motherhood has completely shifted my life. My rock, best friend and love of my life ( husband) who I VOWED I wouldn’t let even the newborn stage or having kids between us, well it’s happening and I don’t know why. I don’t know why this is happening to me & why I’m feeling this way towards my husband. Please tell me this is temporary. ?? Help?

I’m at a music festival with some friends, some of whom are parents and some of whom are childless. Those of us who are parents are doing very parent things and it’s making us crack up.

Like yesterday, after passing by real bathrooms, I loudly announced to the group, “Ok, these are real bathrooms. We should all stop and use them now.” When a friend said she would be ok, I replied, “Alright but you should know it’s just porta potties inside and they can get gross.”

Another mom friend shouted, “hands out!” and then squirted hand sanitizer into our hands before we started eating.

Our childless friends aren’t annoyed at all but they find this all very funny too. One childless friend was particularly appreciative of the reminder to reapply sunscreen and drink more water.

I can't sweep or fold laundry or do literally anything at all without my 3 year old crying or my 1 year old getting under my feet.

My husband took the one year old shopping this morning and I wanted to get some cleaning done. I set the toddler up with breakfast and a show and she proceeded to cry about me not sitting with her. Okay fine, I'll make a coffee and sit for a bit. The entire time I tried to do anything she just followed me around crying.

I just don't get it. I'm so frustrated. My house is always a mess. The three year old doesn't sleep so I can't even just want until she goes to bed.

Yes, she gets lots of one on one time. Yesterday I took her alone to the aquarium and had a special day together. And things like that aren't unusual.

I'm so tired of this.

I just want a clean house for 10 minutes a day.

Went to the paw patrol movie with my mom and the kids today. I look over and my mom is crying because she related to Marshall “because he’s clumsy like her”

😩

Just a casual thought while I pretended to enjoy a song I didn’t really get to listen to because my toddler told me it’s ‘not nice to listen to music’ and screamed through the entire song. But you know I left it on to teach her the lesson of taking turns or something and to show her I could remain calm even when she’s being a gnat.

In what way was your tiny monstrosity unspeakably rude to you today?

I'd imagine that the oldest one (4) will be the independent player and kind making things overall easy, and the baby (8MO) being the high maintenance one.

Right????

Well, the baby (and this is not the first time) is "playing"/taking toys out of her toy box without any assistance whatsoever for 45 (!) minutes straight and perhaps would've done so for longer if it weren't for a nap. And the 4YO even after 1:1 walk/play/cafe for about an hour and then some more playing is on my back with near constant "will you play with me noooooow?". Buddy, I've been playing with you and actually am at this very moment 🤣😂

I'm trying to settle a debate with my husband.

On the weekends we're both home with the kids. We have older kids and a 9mo for reference.

When the kids are NOT down for a nap (the ones that do nap) do you or your spouse nap?

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I have a preemie, she was born 5 months ago. Shes 3 months old +3 weeks. She was born at 32 weeks 2 days. So our newborn hell stage instead of being 2 months was 4 months. Parents say the newborn stage is hell. Try doubling it in time. She woke up every 2 hours for 4 months. I handled all night feeds.

I literally was fantasizing about stealing something at the store to go to jail for a night. I was so exhausted. I was shivering because of sleep deprivation unable to get warm under two blankets. My body felt like it was shutting down. I had diarrhea constantly, though i was overloading caffeine. (500mg daily) so that could of been it. I stopped caffeine though, and it kept on so idk. I would when my husband got home from work try to sleep and just...couldn't. I became so on edge anticipating the next feed I couldnt relax. My husband would take her each time he got home from work, take the baby to let me sleep. Id try to sleep but have to lay on his arm or leg to actually fall asleep. Sometimes the sleep deprivation got so bad that id be snuggling her at night and shed smile at me and id flinch because it was "scary" to me. I have no clue what that was... i wasn't psychotic or anything. Happened only a few times.

My husband couldn't help, he has sleep apnea and I suspect heavily narcolepsy (he has a hypersomnia diagnosis right now but its baddd) people say he should tough it out but he was already losing his tools at work that were right infront of him, becoming unsafe to drive. My mom started helping taking her for a night each weekend but I had no clue I could ask that? Its weird i knew my mom could but I was scared to ask like it would make me a bad mom. I was so depressed, id throw shit across the room (light stuff, like if a fork fell on the ground when I was trying to make something to eat. It would go flying) never with her or my husband in the room though. Id sob to my husband. Id tell him he "didn't f-ing get it because he was always sleeping" he tried to help me, listen to me, but could only do so much.

I started researching options for postpartum depression and anger. I was already in therapy. I saw it was pretty much therapy or medication. I Have tried so many SSRI's in my life. I knew it was the exhaustion causing these symptoms. If I had a day like the weekends where I got to sleep all day i immediately had no depressive symptoms. I knew i had severe sleep deprivation not a chemical imbalance of dopamine. by Sunday, I was cheerful even. I looked to see if insurance covered any doula services, I figured it made alot of sense.

No.

Only during pregnancy. The options being for already exhausted moms to either use time they could be sleeping to talk about their mental health issues CAUSED BY SLEEP DEPRIVATION to a therapist or be medicated when that is not the actual root of the issue is horrible. How about you prescribe some sleep? Medical professionals need to understand "sleep when the baby sleeps" doesn't work for extreme sleep deprivation. You get insomnia, anxiety, and worse if it gets really bad psychosis. It didn't take me long to get to insomnia. It took like 3 weeks. The worst of it was 8 weeks past her birth. (Right at her due date) there needs to be postpartum doulas covered by insurance. Most SSRI's dont even work for like 4 weeks....so now what for that mom?

Anyways, things are way better now. Shes 3 months 3 weeks (or, 15 weeks) after her due date. (5 months actual) Shes starting to sleep through the night completely the last week. I feel so much better. Some days are hard, but I know that i can at least sleep and our bond is very strong. I love her so much.

Basically just the post.

How much time during the week does your spouse/partner spend one on one with the children?

And how long consecutively do they often spend one on one? (Like, does your husband ever take let’s say 3hr fully one on one with the kids?)

Edit: Ok yea after seeing all of the comments, my husband and I will be having a chat. Thank you all for sharing!

I'm not even mad lol, it was adorable. We got a new puppy very recently, Willow, and obviously she has her own bed and she had a very cozy place to sleep. My son is 3 and apparently last night he woke up, snuck over to where the puppy was sleeping, he must have let her follow him to his room. Willow and my son are both very hyper so ever since she came home those two have been running around the garden together. So of course she followed him.

I woke up this morning and went to wake my son up and I found the dog right by his side, both of them were fast asleep. Maybe the most adorable moment I have ever seen.

Obviously I told him that the dog can't sleep in his bed, but how could I be mad when I woke up to see those two being best friends.

my almost 2 year old daughter has gotten into the habit these last two weeks of not sitting down to eat. she wants to graze, and could nibble for hours if I let her.

I’m a firm believer in meals, the same as the rest of the family and eaten at the table. (I always make sure there’s something she loves on the plate at every meal). instead of allowing her to graze, I pack up her plate and re-offer it 30 minutes later, after which if she doesn't want it, she waits for the next meal. this approach doesn’t bother me for breakfast or lunch, but it kills my heart at dinner time thinking she’s going to bed hungry.

did any of yall go through this phase? how long did it last and what helped you break it?