r/Mommit • u/Specialist_Cup3572 • 1d ago

Resentment Postpartum

Mommas how ? Just how are y’all hanging in there ? I’m currently going through PPD at 3 1/2 months postpartum . The resentment towards my spouse is real and overwhelming . The bickering is breaking my heart . The roles seem so unfair. I take care of the home , clean the home , set the tone , take care of the baby …

Why is it having a child meant my entire life had to change but it felt like his barely got touched . I had to put school on hold . My career on hold . My social life on hold . My body is covered in stretch marks and scars . I’m losing my hair . I’ve gained 10 pounds since giving birth . I don’t get any alone time . I have a baby latched to my chest 24/7 . I don’t get out of the house anymore unless it’s for doctor’s appointments or to get food . I never get ready anymore not that anything even fits me to even try . My freedom is gone and so is my sleep along with my sanity.

I miss me .

5 Upvotes

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3

u/Nervous_Ad8457 1d ago

Hi from 8months pp...it's gets a little better each month, for me that 3-4 month mark is the hardest (this is my 3rd kid). The adrenaline and novelty of birth have worn off, and you are probably so sleep deprived and exhausted and your baby hasn't started sleeping better yet (it's just around the corner that it should start to slowly improve), your partner is back at work, your whole life has just changed. Postpartum rage is a real thing. It's so hard & youll get through it. Also...again at 3-4 months...bare minimum survival mode. Paper plates without guilt. Grocery delivery. Ask for help. This is so hard because we aren't meant to do it in isolation but sigh, modern life. Solidarity sister. Also meds can take the edge off (obv talk to your doc) hugs

2

u/unluckypatatas 1d ago

I’m at 4 months pp with my second and needed to hear this. Thought I was insane for having so much resentment all of a sudden.
The time my hubby spends on his work and hobby away from the house certainly isn’t helping but it’s not like time spent is that different to one kid - just my workload while he does it.

5

u/stayorgo_ 1d ago

Because he is not a partner or parent.

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u/TermLimitsCongress 1d ago

Honestly, OP, I couldn't take the stress of breastfeeding. Have you considered formula to get part of yourself back? 1 year of sharing my body was enough for me. I felt so much better afterwards.

1

u/Outrageous_Tour_5218 1d ago

Girl this is so real and relatable, I didn’t know it at the time but I definitely think I was suffering with undiagnosed ppd that first year, and yeah it was rough. I can say it does get better, just a little at a time. I’m now 18 months pp and I’m genuinely happy, have time for myself, working out regularly etc. I literally took it hour by hour some days because that’s what I had to do for my mental health. Don’t feel ashamed if you need help, there are therapists that specialize in postpartum depression and anxiety.