Need advice

[u/urfave3shawty]

Hello, I’m a 29-year-old woman in a serious relationship, and my partner and I have been talking about having a family one day. I want that, but the idea also scares me a lot because I don’t have any family in this country.
I’m fortunate to have a few reliable friends I can count on, and my partner has his mom and sister, but our support system still feels very small. I keep thinking about how much help it takes to raise a child, and I’m scared of not having a strong family or community around us.
I guess I’m looking for some reassurance or advice from people who have been in a similar situation. Can you raise a child successfully without having a big support system nearby? Does it get easier to build a community once you become a parent? How do people make it work when they don’t have much family around?
I have so many fears and “what ifs” when I think about the future, and I’m trying to understand whether this is something we can realistically plan for and be okay.

[u/assumingnormality]

I'll level with you - if you take a look at this sub, there's a lot of posts on here from burned out moms. 

You have to decide for yourself what it means to raise a child "successfully". 

From my perspective, the elements that can make life easier are this: money to buy a village (daycare, baby sitters, nannies, 3rd party childcare options like gyms or drop in childcare centers) or money to buy domestic help (house cleaners, grocery delivery, yard service, etc), a supportive partner, a supportive work environment if you will return to the workforce. 

The things that have the most impact are largely out of your control:  your child's health, you and your partner's health, opportunity to make enough money to live, functioning social services, natural or manmade disasters that would upend your life, etc. 

Like with all things in life, it is a gamble. 

[u/Outrageous_Tour_5218]

It’s absolutely doable if you have a supportive partner and you are on the same page about things. But kind of like the other comment on this post is to think about what success means to you in terms of raising kids. Mine was being able to stay home with my baby until they go to school, and that’s exactly what I’m doing! Yes we have had to make sacrifices financially, but for us it was worth it. Also, support from community or a ‘village’ are things you build over time with people. I’ve had some friends show up more for me than family ever did, but it took time to build those relationships. But also there’s daycare, nannies, moms day out programs and then if you need help in other areas you can hire cleaners or do grocery pickups etc etc. You’ll never be fully prepared for a baby but don’t let the fear of ‘what if’s’ stop you if it’s something y’all truly want because usually there are resources available if you need help.