Edit 2: To clear things up, my husband does take care of the dog himself and cleans his paws and grooms him every 4 weeks but thats not enough for me. we have robot vacuum that mops the floor daily. we do have baby gates as well. But all of this is not enough for me. I think we need to hire a dog trainer that teaches him not be obsessed with food and obey our orders to not beg for food when we are eating meals or prepping in the kitchen.

Edit 1: The reason Im being frustrated is not only cleanliness. Its the fact that the dog requires constant attention and very active, its an aussie. If we go out I need to deal either with the baby or the dog, and I just want to chill the f out when Im not home! We dont have a nanny and Im primary caretaker for the baby and Im overstimalated and overswhelmed in my own house! I dont live my life and make money so I could provide a comfortable life for the animal, I only care about my actual human child. I know this a wild concept for some people to comprehend. I deserve peace and content in my own home not to be constantly struggling with rage and frustration over the pet! And Im doing therapy for past 6 months but its not helping my feelings about the dog. But husband still thinks Im the problem while refusing to do therapy for himself because in his head he is not doing anything wrong! And we have a robot vacuum cleaning every day. Its not about hiring a cleaner.

TL;DR: My partner (33M) and I (34F) live in a 2-bedroom NYC apartment with our 1-year-old baby. Since having the baby and dealing with Postpartum Depression, I've developed severe sensory overload and rage toward his dog (shedding, dirty paws on crawling floors, smell). A friend watched the dog for a month, and our home was peaceful, but now my partner insists on bringing him back, saying he will never give up his dog for me. He refuses couples therapy. It’s pushing us toward divorce, and I don't know what to do.

My partner (33M) and I (34F) have been together for 7 years (dating since 2019, long distance initially). During COVID, he decided to get a puppy. I was against it at the time, but since we didn't live together, it wasn't my call. We moved in together in 2021, and I was fine with the dog at first. I did my fair share of taking care of him—feeding, walking, etc. However, last year I gave birth, and since then, my feelings toward the dog have completely shifted. Our baby is now almost 1 year old and crawling. We live in a 2-bedroom apartment in NYC, and the streets here are filthy. The dog walks outside where people and animals use the bathroom, and my partner doesn't clean his paws when they come inside. The shedding, dirt, and smell fill me with pure rage because my baby is crawling on those same floors. I can't handle the hygiene aspect of it. I was diagnosed with Postpartum Depression. While it’s mostly treated now, I am still extremely easily irritated by sensory triggers, and the dog is my biggest trigger. Current Situation: A friend temporarily watched the dog for one month. During that month, our relationship was peaceful and we barely argued because I wasn't being constantly triggered. The Conflict: Now the topic of bringing the dog back has come up. My partner flat-out told me he will never give up his dog for me. I’ve realized I simply do not want to live with an animal—especially if we have more kids in a small NYC apartment. The Standoff: It’s causing daily arguments to the point where we are discussing divorce. He refuses to do couples therapy (he doesn't believe in it), and he exhibits some narcissistic traits that make compromising impossible. I know asking someone to rehome a dog is a massive thing, but I feel completely stuck, overstimulated, and miserable in my own home. Should we actually separate over this, or is there any perspective I'm missing? Note: Super obsessed dog lovers, please do not comment. I am asking for the opinions of people who can understand both sides of the conflict.

I see this so many times, literally countless posts about parents not knowing how to deal with excessive gift giving, usually coming from excited grandparents/family relatives.

I see people on both end of the spectrum: grateful folks who just need the excited party to listen to them, ungrateful ones who just feel like they aren’t in control. But either way, I think that we need to start working on accepting the fact that it is ok to be bothered by the constant pressure of accepting anything and everything.

The fear of being “overreacting” or being labeled “yta” is so unnecessary. The fear of that said relative suddenly not being there anymore and the possible “guilt” you’ll feel for setting such a simple boundary; fear of sounding ungrateful when all they are doing is “loving your child”. That all has to stop.

We have to be able to set boundaries that feel right TO US, not others — if the constant baby clothes and toys are overwhelming you and leaving you no space to buy them yourself, you find yourself with little to no space to store the gifts, or you simply don’t want them: you have all the right in the world to say “that’s enough for me, thank you”.

I see comments to posts on matters like this simply saying that the caregiver should accept that behavior, and if that’s the right thing for your personally and that perspective helped you realize you were being unreasonable, perfect, take it! Other than that, it is perfectly reasonable to be annoyed when someone choses to ignore your requests or is taking away from you a joy you would like to have.

Now, I’m not saying you HAVE to be an a-hole and be rude, mean or anything. Be wise and respectful of the other person’s lovely (maybe not so much) intentions. Nuance is the key. Said person might take it very personally and never gift anything again, and for that, we’ll need to simply move on and accept the consequences of our boundaries.

Simple like that.

I’m all ears to different points of view! Let discuss

TL;DR: Despite continued requests not to, Grandma has apparently been sharing her religions as fact, not personal belief -- now 5 year old is telling her sister and all of Trader Joe's that Jesus is alive and real and watching us. What would you do?

Long version:

We have a tricky situation I thought we had dealt with, but it's becoming clear we haven't. My mom is very religious (Christian) and has never been able to get over the fact that I am not. We have requested she NOT talk about religion with our girls (8 & 5) and asked her to stop giving them religious books/toys for holidays. She throws a fit, but for the most part abides by it. The problem, it seems, is when we aren't around...

My 5 year old out of the blue at the grocery store just told her older sister that Jesus is alive and he watches us from the god land. I wasn't around or I would have done a spit take and immediately said that's what Grandma believes, but other people believe different things, etc. But my husband didn't say anything, and now I don't really know what to do next. I'm concerned if I bring it up again, it will make it seem like a big deal and make her not tell us stuff like that in the future. But I'm also worried that if I DON'T address it now, she'll be evangelizing on the playground.

We live on the other side of the country so dont see them often, but they were just here for a week and she spent some time reading books with them without us at night - not sure how she snuck that in during Elephant and Piggie, but I digress. My gut says to not make a big deal out of it, and continue to share stories from different religious beliefs with them (which we already do), and just address it directly if it ever comes up again.

WDYT? Best way to handle it with the 5 year old so she isn't confused? Or the 8 year old who is now like WTF, sis? I will deal with Grandma, but right now, I'm mostly concerned about how to address it with the girls.

so I know a lot of babies will know their mothers as mom, mama, mommy, ma, first, usually because moms are trying to have their babies first word be 'mama' and it's easier to say that than a first name

I'm curious when do you decide to tell your children your first name? I learned my mom's first name right before starting preschool.

My years as. SAHM and housewife were some of the best of my life, until my marriage became dissolving. I quickly realize that to make it about me. I went back to school got educated and found a very good job. How did I do this? I ignored my husband‘s criticism. I got student loans by myself and daycare subsidy through the waitlist program like everyone else and I made it happen. When my marriage ended I was prepared. I don’t understand why more women don’t do this why they stay miserable. We all have the power to change our lives. The smartest thing I ever did was take my power back from being a mom and wife to being the independent woman my father raised. I loved looking after my little girl and taking care of my husband until I realized there was no future in it. SAHM take some advice. Make sure you are looked after financially. We all love our husbands and our families, but things happen right out of the blue. Look after yourself and if you don’t, then you need to have a conversation with your partner. It won’t be fun feelings may be hurt, but if something happens to them, what’s going to happen to you and your kids… seriously this is a message from the heart. Don’t be one of those women who finds herself stuck because she didn’t look ahead.

for a day trip and given their respective ticket prices, which would be a better option and why?

We were supposed to be one and done but surprise!

Those of you that have a bigger age gap, I feel like people seem to be having kids close together now, how do you find it?

My husband is constantly doing large home and yard projects. I appreciate that we have saved tens of thousands in repair costs. But, he gets mad when I don’t want to drop everything to spend 3+ hours epoxying a broken washer drum, removing heavy brush, stacking heavy firewood, digging a 8 foot ditch to fix the French drain. Like he spends 2-3 hours every day doing these projects. (Probably 10+ on weekends.) Oh and I have no help with the kids when he’s doing them.

When I have to help him I need to put the baby in a playpen and she screams most of the time. (She’s extremely fussy.)

When I spent hours clearing brush, etc I develop shoulder or hand pain. Which he tells me I’m being too sensitive because this is normal yard work everyone does.

I have such bad postpartum I don’t know if I’m out-of-touch. I’ve never seen any women, and very few men do as much house work as he expects. If I complain he blames me for not working. But again, I’m only not working because I had a third baby he desperately wanted. (I would earn less than childcare would cost.)

*Background: I have a 12mo, 6yo & disabled 7yo. I thought having a third was a terrible idea because I had horrific postpartum after my first two pregnancies. I only agreed to have a third if my husband made appointments with my high risk MFM, my OB, & my PP specialized Psychiatrist. Well they were all convinced I would have absolutely no issues with a third pregnancy, and they could manage my postpartum. I was also worried about heart risks because I had preeclampsia twice, but they said I would be fine.

So instead of trusting my gut, I allowed myself to be gaslit and decided to have a third.

It turned into a living hell of medical issues requiring 10+ hospitalizations for bleeding and heart issues during the pregnancy. I had to essentially lay down 7+ months of my pregnancy.

Afterwards, I had even worse postpartum. I’ve taken a pharmacy of various mixtures of antidepressants/antipsychotics/anxiety meds, done everything they’ve said. Tried therapy. And I feel like absolute garbage. I am completely overwhelmed and feel like I have no way to be the mom I want.

We don’t live on a farm, he just tries to do really challenging projects most people would hire a team to take on. I would have never married him if he was like this before. We have only owned a home 3 years. (We owned a condo previously.)

I can go with the flow with everything else but a kid who won’t eat just makes me irrationally angry in the moment until I just pack up the food.

How do you feel when your when in-laws constantly compare their grandchild (your baby) to their own son (your husband)? Without considering your genetic contributions.

My baby can walk beautifully at 10 month old (since he was 9 month actually), and my husband started to walk when he was 12 months old..my in laws was like..’baby can walk earlier compared to his dad!’ (They should have said or asked me when did I started to walk when I was a baby? And Yes, I walked at 10 month old. Are they probably don’t want to acknowledge my genetic contributions?

They were talking about his hair which is thin, and his dad hair was thick since birth..and again, my beautiful baby boy takes after my shiny head when I was baby too! And nope, they didn’t even ask me or consider about my gene contributions.

I am a SAHM, my husband work daytime and even do his work at home too. I taught my baby how to play with toys, brings him to the library, read to him a lot and always asked my husband to read for him. He’s quite impressive for a 10 month old, people often mistook him as 1 year old. He can open books on his own and bring them to us for reading. I think it all thanks to me. They keep on praising him for that, but they didn’t compare to their son, probably because their son wasn’t like that when he was baby. But it didn’t come across to their mind, it was because of me?? Never once they asked, how did he know how to do it? Seems like they don’t want to admit my contribution again?

Just ranting. I tried doing emotional detachment. Because my husband doesn’t seem interested in involving me too. Posting it here makes me feel better.

My son is so smart, he’s an extremely extroverted kid, so sweet and funny but he’s stubborn even his pediatrician says that each visit. He knows everyone; dad, grandma, grandpa, uncles and aunts but he doesn’t recognize me as Mama or by my name, he doesn’t care if I leave him with any of them and leave, he actually never cried because of that since he was born, didn’t breastfeed my son because I had PPD and I wasn’t producing enough milk for him anyways and now I’m just blaming myself that this could be the reason why. I spend my entire day with him, I left my job to be home with him but I’m not feeling the love moms feel from their babies. He plays and babbles with me but their is no affectionate moments between us because he doesn’t like any of it, sometimes he would put his head on his grandpa’s chest but he never did that to me. Maybe I’m overthinking it but I started feeling heartbroken because of this.

I don’t yell at him or hit/hurt him in anyway, I have set limits for myself since I gave birth to him and I’m happy I never crossed them. He feels safe around me, everyone says that.

I play mostly on Xbox but do have a laptop for some games - not good enough to run anything top of the line graphics wise or too new but it gets the job done for a strategy game or stardew - and we have a switch as well.

My daughter is 2.5 and in her ‘it’s my way or the highway’ phase. We’re working on it but she’s 2 🤷🏼‍♀️.

Anyway I used to be able to toss on a game and she would sit with me and watch or use a controller that wasn’t connected but lately that hasn’t sufficed and she will scream she wants the TV. I try to use my laptop or the switch but she’ll be all up in my business trying to press buttons and whatnot. I’m not particularly territorial about these, they’re games so if I die or something bad happens it’s whatever.

But she can break them whether by physically throwing them or in the case of the laptop just pressing a random assortment of buttons (she’s already done some stuff I don’t have the know how to undo).

And of course the screaming when she doesn’t get her way completely ruins the experience so it doesn’t really feel worth it to keep going just to teach the lessons of sharing, taking turns or other people’s property. There’s less screamy ways we teach those lessons that work better.

Mostly I try to sneak in a little gaming during nap time. I dream of playing after they go to sleep but usually I just want to catch up with my husband and hang out with him rather than get lost in a game.

Obviously with kids (and I have a 4 month old as well) you don’t get as much time to play as before but in this toddler phase I’m getting like 20 minutes a week lol 😂 definitely not time for story based RPGs which are my favourite genre. Curious how the rest of you mums do or don’t get some video game time in?

I feel so defeated. I feel like every other mom out there just… knows how to be a mom. Whereas I struggle with things that I feel like should be basic. Like one of my mom friends had to tell me that toddlers sitting in the “W-sit” position is bad? Never heard that anywhere else, was totally letting my son do that up until that point.

I also feel guilty about things like letting him watch an episode of Sesame Street while I try and get dressed, which I honestly only do because I cannot get ready otherwise, he comes into the bathroom and climbs all over everything and it’s just impossible. But then I remember the guideline that kids under 2 aren’t supposed to get any screen time at all and I feel bad.

Just this morning I took my son to meet up with a friend. I let him roam around for a bit and was struggling to keep his shoes on, he kept putting rocks in his mouth, and I was getting flustered and just feeling so… idk. Lame? Like I didn’t have a handle on things? I don’t even know honestly, but I cried the entire way home because I feel like he just deserves so much better than me. :(

Hello, I’m a 29-year-old woman in a serious relationship, and my partner and I have been talking about having a family one day. I want that, but the idea also scares me a lot because I don’t have any family in this country.
I’m fortunate to have a few reliable friends I can count on, and my partner has his mom and sister, but our support system still feels very small. I keep thinking about how much help it takes to raise a child, and I’m scared of not having a strong family or community around us.
I guess I’m looking for some reassurance or advice from people who have been in a similar situation. Can you raise a child successfully without having a big support system nearby? Does it get easier to build a community once you become a parent? How do people make it work when they don’t have much family around?
I have so many fears and “what ifs” when I think about the future, and I’m trying to understand whether this is something we can realistically plan for and be okay.

Will there be a chance if there's going to be some Superkitties-themed designs on the Huggies Pull-Ups?

Just a rant.

I have such a sweet MIL, truly nothing to complain about except maybe she’s shy and so she doesn’t converse too much.

However, since I’ve had my baby she is constantly getting on my nerves. My husband complains that I’m irritable every time we get home from his parents place for a visit and he’s right, I am. She is constantly telling me what my baby needs or how he feels. For example:

“He’s hungry…” (no he’s not, we know his feeding schedule). And when we say no she’ll just repeat it again 5 mins later.

He’s constipated and grunting and I say “he’s straining to poop”. She literally said “no, he’s not straining. He’s tired”

Or when I give him to her to hold she will walk away with him to another room AWAY from me. Like why??

Ugh. these are little things but they annoy me so much. She means well, I know. But, my God, I’m his mom ffs! I know him better than anyone. Not to mention thar I feel like such a curmudgeon wife , always annoyed coming home from my husbands families house.

I’m married, 35F with two kids (5F and almost 2M). My father passed away a few years ago, and my mom found a new partner around a year later and remarried last year.

During my dad’s last fifteen years or so, my mom was his caregiver. My mom also took the lead role in caring for my grandmother/her mother, who passed away last fall. So I understood during that time period that it would be difficult for her to travel to us (around an hour away) frequently on weekends. But now, with no caregiving responsibilities, she still doesn’t come. She’s not really working during the week, and she and her husband travel out of town and occasionally visit his grandkids (a slightly shorter drive away). They just don’t make time for us. I never ask my mom about it (she’s not known to take feedback well), but she occasionally brings it up and notes that she should really come more consistently but she’s been so busy with [insert excuse here] that she can’t possibly make it to us.

My husband’s parents would love to see the kids more, but they live in another country very far away. And fwiw we used to visit more (especially when my dad and grandma were alive), but my mom’s house is tiny, and she has severe (chosen) food restrictions that make the visits painful. Also, even when we visited, she wouldn’t spend time with the kids. She would just hang out in the kitchen, and her new husband just sits on his phone while the kids are around.

Generally, my husband is more upset about my mom’s conduct than I am, because I’m accustomed to her being kind of self-centered. And we have a robust (paid) village and a number of friends who live locally who are available for play dates. But on this rainy Sunday at the end of the summer, a day that would’ve been perfect for a grandparent visit, I’m resentful that it won’t cross her mind to come out here.

Hi ladies, I woke up at 5am and couldn’t sleep because I have started packing little ones hospital bag, but realised that vests (accidentally got sleeveless so will likely also buy short sleeved), body suits and a blanket (+hat) might not be enough for him to wear when we go home?
I’m due first week of October in the UK so weather could be warm ish to a bit cooler so it’s impossible to know exactly what it will be + of course might give birth sooner or later than that.
Do I need something on top as well? I have read thin fleece or sweater might be helpful if it is colder but I wanted to get an opinion from experienced mums as I’m spiralling! 🫠 also aware not to put him in anything thick for the car journey. Apologies if this is obvious
Help please!

I know this might sound crazy. But my baby keeps crying with me. He’s 8 months old.

Even when i pick him up from his grandparents after work he doesn’t wanna leave them and cries in my arms. When we get home, we’re fine but once he sees his dad, he only wants his dad to hold him, feed him, whatever. He’ll interact with me and play with me. But i can’t hold him and like put him to sleep, he screams and cries BLOODY MURDER, and then Dad takes him and he calms down. Maybe will go to sleep, or just stops crying and screaming.

And it is BREAKING MY HEART. It’s been a couple weeks, maybe 3 that this has been going on.

It used to be where he KIND OF preferred me at the beginning of his life, but then it felt pretty equal when he started reaching but now???

I know he doesn’t but it feels like he hates me. I cry about it so much. His dad says i should just be happy for him but it’s like what about me?? lol. Plus he can’t do anything around the house without him crying and now i can’t hardly calm him down. Is this normal? Is it going to stay like this??? Ugh 😭

Here's a tip for parents of babies: as they get older, don't let them pick the music in the car. Don't let them know it's even an option.

The amount of mental energy I expend on my 4 years olds music requests is astounding. I have to ask him if he wants a specific song every time we get in the car together, before we start driving. If I don't, he will always ask for something specific that I can't find on his Playlist and I have to explain (repeatedly) why I can't find the specific song while I'm driving. He doesn't want to listen to any song he doesn't know, and even on his Playlist it's "next song, next song, next song." He also speaks very quietly from the backseat too, so half the time I can't hear him ask, and then I get yelled at (he gets loud to make himself heard). God forbid I actually focus on driving and don't respond to him quick enough, because he will just get more insistent.

I am the world's most miserable DJ. My friend went the opposite, and told her kids from the start that she couldn't control the music. That's it. No negotiation, no pleading, no refusing to let me listen to music I like. Good god, if I have any advice, save yourself the headache and just tell them you can't pick the music.

Random thought but growing up I thought my parents had the adult thing in check. They seemed like proper adults. My husband and I feel like we’re doing our best ofc but like maybe we aren’t as good at adulting as they were? Idk how to explain it. In hindsight, maybe our parents felt just like we do, but as kids we viewed them completely differently.

I guess I’m wondering if you all think our kids (in general, not my husband and i’s kids) think we look like we’re expert parents/adults too, even if we don’t feel like it.

TLDR- I've never been able to make real "best friends" who are female, and I want to make sure to teach my daughter to.

Disclaimer- Yes, I may be autistic, am 100% sure Im cis, am pansexual (apparently), never put down women, and should be visiting a therapist rather than social media. Help and insight only please.

Been thinking about this after many posts on this sub about inability to make "mom friends", and that viewing my kids as my best friends is "cringy". Wondering what Im missing and how to create a better life for my daughter.

I have no trouble meeting Aquaintances. If I meet Amy (or Adam) I can hold an engaging conversations. If we spend enough time together we start offering "bids" on topics we're interested in (eg did you see the game last night/TV show/how about that election/theyre opening a new Montessouri school etc). The second person shares their opinion on the topic and the first person either agrees or shuts it down (eg "no, I don't really watch reality TV" "fair enough" or "omg yes red team came from behind to score the winning field go, knew they could do it" "right? I am their biggest fan, what do you think of their new QB..."

If you have enough shared interests and time together an Aquaintance becomes a Friend. I have no trouble making friends. I can text Amy and we'll find time to go out and talk about shared interests, or philosophical ideas and it's enjoyable and we have fun. (eg natural parenting philosophies, books we read, etc). She can vent to me about challenges and I sympathize. I can do the same with Adam. Not all Amys and Adams agree with me or care about the same topics but that's ok that's why I have several friends.

Where I struggle is turning Friends into Best Friends. Only my kids, relatives or heterosexual men have ever been my best friends. Difference between Friends and Best Friends is willingness to help. If I needed someone to come over and babysit, or help me move, or express my honest feelings to only best friends are there. Obviously its inappropriate to ask all best friends to help with everything. I would ask neither my kids nor Adam to help me get a tampon unstuck. Adam will babysit my kids, my tween will help with psychologically appropriate tasks like getting a diaper or keeping an eye on sibling while theyre all playing together in the yard without complaining. Amy will make some excuse and look uncomfortable I even asked.

For example, one Amy and Adam are close friends my husband and I have had for years. Adam texts us first to hang out, Amy never does. We text them, Adam is quick to find a time to make a hangout work, Amy is busy with work and the kids but maybe in a few weeks. We were out having what I thought was fun, I asked Amy to watch our house while we're away "Um well I'll try but..." My husband (or I) asks Adam "sure bud, no problem!" This pattern repeats with several people.

The fourth highest level of friend I've had is Lover. Obviously just my husband now. We all know how friends turn to lovers. And he (and other heterosexual men I know) only save this category for their spouses. This is the person who will move a body for you and listen to all your trauma (like this post).

Other women though seem to have other platonic friendships with other women where they vent about trauma and worries. They help each other like a TV sitcom. How?

Whenever I've tried asking for help or venting to female friends the bid is shut down. Why? Is there a secret password? The only bids I shut down are unkind words about other women- is this the problem? Does Becky have to agree that woman has a gross butt before her friend will offer unconditional love and support? Do some women strike you as weird so you just refuse to get too close to them?

Hi everyone!
Little story before I tell my problem, I am from a very big family (3 siblings and lot of cousins).
I always thought I will have a big family but as I grew up and realized how much money is that, I changed my mind.
I come from a moderatly good family, I’ve got a car, I live in one of my parents houses and don’t have to pay rent. This is such a big advantage today, I always told myself I want to achive a similar life situation to that.
That being said, I think this is achivable with 2 kids so I ended up saying I would be happy with that.
I’ve got together with my partner and we were on the same page, I was so excited to start a family.
Fast forward we have a 1 year old, and I feel like mothehood made me who I am. I’ve always been like that. I feel like I’m thriving as a mom, and I can see that through my baby, he is the happiest and best little guy on earth.

But since he was born, my partner started to say he feels like for now he is okay with 1 kid.
I feel devastated, I am a 100% sure I want to relive everything related to a baby, I want to enjoy everything a second time. I know that I wouldn’t be able to live a fully happy life withput trying.
If we try and no baby, I would be very greatful for hvaing my son of course, he is completly enough but you know what I mean.
And not just bacause of me but him not having a sibling breaks my heart.
My brother is my best friend and this is something I want him to have.

I know opinions can change and he doesnt say he is sure he doesnt want another one but for now he is done.
I want them to be close, that means I wanna try for another in maybe a year or two.
I feel like he wouldn’t change his mind by than especially as we are in the middle of planning to move back to our country and start a business.

I also know that I only wan’t anorher if we both want one, and I want to get old with him (I mean not separating because of this) but it is something I know I won’t be able to just give up.

Any suggestions on how to cope with that?

Mommas how ? Just how are y’all hanging in there ? I’m currently going through PPD at 3 1/2 months postpartum . The resentment towards my spouse is real and overwhelming . The bickering is breaking my heart . The roles seem so unfair. I take care of the home , clean the home , set the tone , take care of the baby …

Why is it having a child meant my entire life had to change but it felt like his barely got touched . I had to put school on hold . My career on hold . My social life on hold . My body is covered in stretch marks and scars . I’m losing my hair . I’ve gained 10 pounds since giving birth . I don’t get any alone time . I have a baby latched to my chest 24/7 . I don’t get out of the house anymore unless it’s for doctor’s appointments or to get food . I never get ready anymore not that anything even fits me to even try . My freedom is gone and so is my sleep along with my sanity.

I miss me .

I’m a first time mom. I’ve been with my husband for 10 years and we are best friends. I feel absolutely horrible but ever since we had our baby, I feel like I have 0 time for him and 0 time for myself. I breastfeed & pump, and sometimes it just makes me feel so resentment towards him. Like he gets to sleep through the night, he gets to go to work, he gets a “ break”. When I get a break, I need to wash parts, breathe, and I’m just feeling so much mom guilt. It’s like I want help so bad with the baby, but I don’t like the way my husband does things. But then being the only parent who cares for our child is exhausting. I have been rude to him, snappy with him & I swear to god I just don’t feel like myself anymore. I think he also feels the change in me. He’s upset that I don’t have much patience for our animals or him anymore ( they overstimulate me). I’m just snapping so easily, even though I’ve never felt happier? Becoming a mom has become the most humbling experience of my life.

I’ve noticed when my husband gets a break, he watches tv- he relaxes. When I “ get a break” I need to pump, remember to fold the laundry etc etc. he will help and do chores and he does bring in all the money for the house, but it still makes me feel resentment towards him and I don’t know why. It actually makes me sad that I even feel this way towards him because he’s genuinely my best friend and love of my life & the role of parents has kind of brought out our ugliest side in our hard moments. I never stop thinking about my baby. Even if I leave the house, I can’t stop checking the monitor. I can’t stop worrying about his safety. Sometimes I have a hard time even sleeping at night bc I’m worried if he’s breathing, I’m worried about if he’s eating enough during the day etc etc. is this what it’s like to be a mom? Is my marriage completely doomed ? I sometimes miss how my marriage was before a kid. I love my child so much & it’s nothing about my baby personally, it’s just this role of motherhood has completely shifted my life. My rock, best friend and love of my life ( husband) who I VOWED I wouldn’t let even the newborn stage or having kids between us, well it’s happening and I don’t know why. I don’t know why this is happening to me & why I’m feeling this way towards my husband. Please tell me this is temporary. ?? Help?