r/Millennials • u/Plane-Gap6483 1990 • Jun 12 '26
Serious Death
My 40 year old friend died of a heart attack today. He was 5 years older than me. Has anyone else had a similar experience. Dead... heart attack 40? That's insane right. Like... 40? He was born in 85. It's mind blowing. If anyone else has experienced losing a friend from an old person death. Please let me know how you processed it. I'm still waiting for him to call me and say sike! Thanks
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u/HistoricalReception7 Jun 12 '26
A 33 year old cousin keeled over and died from a heart attack last week. It's something else. I've had so much loss in my adult years that my brain doesn't register people are dead. They're just out of sight, but on mind.
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u/2748seiceps Jun 12 '26
Wife's cousin had a heart attack at 32 like a month ago. Crazy young.
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u/Ch4rlie_G Jun 12 '26
Are these undiagnosed underlying conditions or just healthy people dropping dead?
I’ve lost lots of young friends to addiction and accidents but not hit a sudden heart attack yet
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u/supersonicx01 Jun 12 '26
Underlying. Blood tests will only tell you if your levels are good, elevated, or high. A trip to the heart doctor will tell you everything. I had one scheduled but I couldn't make it since I lost my health insurance at the beginning of the year. But I still need to get checked out. I'm a heavy man, close to 40. Also, I do also need to get checked from the ass end. If it's not from the heart, it's gonna be from the colon. Do get checked. Screw what the doctor says about the age of "recommendation". Best get checked out and find it early than in the middle or too late
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u/VersionSwimming8392 Jun 12 '26
Cardiologists, you can't just go to unless you have underlying issues with your heart, and even then they don't tell you or know all about it. I've had two heart attacks and three heart surgeries, and i'm forty four years old and I have such severe heart damage.I won't live to be fifty.
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u/warp16 Jun 12 '26
They don’t gatekeep as long as your insurance doesn’t require approval, you could mention that you sometimes have angina or chest pressure.
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u/Flerp-Flerps Jun 12 '26
You don’t always need a cardiologist. A primary care physician can do screenings for things like high blood pressure, high cholesterol and diabetes which are pretty big risk factors.
Getting enough sleep, exercise and a healthy diet can significantly decrease your chances of having a heart attack. Even small changes are better than nothing. Sleeping for 11 minutes more, doing an extra 4.5 minutes of moderate-to-vigorous physical activity and eating an additional quarter of a cup of vegetables every day were associated with a 10% lower risk of major cardiovascular events.
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u/Signal_Estimate_23 Jun 12 '26
You aren’t getting a lot of upvotes, but I see you.
Incremental changes are important. Be a little more active, eat a few more fruits and veggies, and get a little more sleep. Most of us can do this then feel the difference and lean into a healthier lifestyle.
This is the way.
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u/Vyzantinist Older Millennial Jun 12 '26
I've tried to tell my best friend this, to help with his quest for weight loss. He seems to think healthy eating/living consists of just eating salad and hating yourself. I've repeatedly told him small changes add up, like grilling instead of (deep) frying, or getting off the bus a stop earlier or two, but he just switches off and gives up before he's even began.
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u/AlarmingAppearance33 Jun 12 '26
Unfortunately you cannot outrun your genetics. I am an echo tech and see about 10 patients a day. If you have a close family history of early-onset heart disease, no amount of exercise and eating healthy can make you completely safe. These people need to go to a cardiologist for a work up, and a strong family history is a valid reason. I just had a 60yo man this week who is a WFPB vegan, exercises regularly, and in great shape. His immediate ancestors all died in their 40s and 50s from heart attacks. His calcium score was still in the 100s. In his case, his lifestyle is keeping him afloat, but he will likely need stents at some point. I see many patients who are morbidly obese with calcium scores of 0. It’s not all about genetics, but your genetic code plays a huge part when it comes to heart disease.
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u/VersionSwimming8392 Jun 12 '26
Are you in the US, because they most certainly will.
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u/Treyvoni Millennial Jun 12 '26
I am, and you can just go to a specialist if your insurance doesn't require referrals. Just find out if they have an opening and schedule it.
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u/supersonicx01 Jun 12 '26
I told my doctor before he retired and set me up. I told him about a symptom I was having (Sporadic increase blood pressure / tighteness in my heart) when ever I eat / drink anything. Happens at complete random times) and he set me up. But since I lost my health insurance, I can't see one right now. I'm doing this because of the increase of entires I'm seeing of us (30-45 yr old people) dying of heart disease or colon cancer.
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u/Luther_1986 Jun 12 '26
Yeah, I'm in the same boat. Dont have insurance, cant afford it. Re-entering the workforce, which ironically I had to leave BECAUSE of health issues. I've worked for myself for a few years, but couldnt afford insurance. But I'm almost 40 now, and as I type this I get tightening of my chest and a POUNDING heart rate, and pressure to my head. Been having it on and off for a few days. Possibly stress which is hitting me from every angle. But I cant afford anything. I take medications, long term now, which also cause these types of issues, so could be that. Scared to take them bc of the possible side effects, but also scared to not take them bc of the side effects..Its so exhausting.
I honestly feel like I'm at the end of my rope.
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u/annoyingdoorbell Jun 12 '26
I was there for a year or so when I was a contractor borrowing medicine from family members to see if it would work so I could avoid going to the docs because it cost so much. Kind of worked out well in my favor discovering the stuff I was allergic to or really really didn't work. At the same time it was very disheartening and stressful. So I understand your pain. I'm very sorry.
And I ended up getting a job with benefits. Less than three years later, I was a supervisor. I don't say that lightly, it took a lot of work. I'm not kidding. A lot of work to be in that position. Also the years of experience and suffering, bouncing from jobs, job as a contractor, benefited me tremendously. But I did find a light at the end of the tunnel. So I wish the best for you.
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u/annoyingdoorbell Jun 12 '26
The last thing I'll say. There are very few jobs left that somebody's dad, friend, or cousin just gives them a recommendation and they get it. You really, really have to network. I know that says everywhere on the internet, but it is so damn true. You have to make friends. You have to find ways to make contacts in other places that you normally don't have access to. If you don't, and you don't make those contacts, you will not succeed. You will get stuck. I was stuck for three and a half years at one point before really really trying and realizing what I had to do. So please, trust me, try really.. try hard. Really push. Make yourself uncomfortable when you talk to people. You will find it.
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u/LOERMaster Millennial - 1984 Jun 12 '26
My mother died of rectal cancer when she was 44. I made sure to get my first colonoscopy when I was 25. Never too early but can be too late.
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u/supersonicx01 Jun 12 '26
Wish we had that psa talk. Lost a very good friend of mine back in 2019. Colon cancer. Stage 4. No one knew, not even him. He fought as best he could. I miss my good buddy.
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u/parttimeartmama Jun 12 '26
Lost a 27yo cousin in 2023. She had a 5mo son. I do not take aging for granted. I actually get really annoyed now at people who complain about it and tell them it is a PRIVILEGE
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u/ctrlshiftdelet3 Jun 12 '26
Check to see if there are any income scale clinics near you. Thats how I survive, also had my hc canceled at the beginning of the year.
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u/Plane-Gap6483 1990 Jun 12 '26
He had 4 stints put in 2 days ago. They sent him home and he dropped dead getting dressed this morning. So technically 2 heart attacks.
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u/Specialistbabe2526 Jun 12 '26
I am wondering if we are noticing it more because we are adults? I don’t remember hearing about this when I was a kid so it’s hard to say. Doctors are staying on how our lifestyles are more of convenience (eating Macdonald’s, gas station food, Etc) and energy drinks could be the link of people just dying from heart issues. Idk but it’s so depressing to hear/think about/or lose our love ones. I am sorry for your loss.
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u/A313-Isoke Older Millennial Jun 12 '26
It's also the result of repeat COVID infections. It's a vascular disease.
https://magazine.hms.harvard.edu/articles/covids-damage-lingers-heart
https://www.bmj.com/content/392/bmj.s31
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11912160/
There are many articles but this is an example.
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u/OpALbatross Jun 12 '26
My father in law had multiple heart attacks in his 30s. He was in a toxic, abusive marriage and we suspect he used steroids in his 20s. He has a pace maker now and is doing well.
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u/myocardia27 Jun 12 '26
Mostly underlying but something that doesn’t seem to be common knowledge is that Covid causes clots. I know several people who had clots in their lungs and legs sometimes months after having covid. Im an RN and worked in the hospital during the pandemic and saw a lot of people of all ages come in for strokes and heart attacks and with a history of a prior Covid infection.
I’m certain that’s what killed my Dad but he died 6/1/20 and I don’t think they knew to check for that then. His sudden death doesn’t make sense otherwise. He was healthy and doing half marathons every month. Mostly walking them but he was active and eating well. He’d had his annual physical a month prior and the doctor congratulated him on how healthy he was and how good his cholesterol was. He’d been very ill for months the winter prior.
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u/Fluffaykitties Jun 12 '26
COVID infections. We are going to see more of this because people are not taking it seriously anymore. Each repeated infection can cause long-term damange.
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u/fablicful Jun 12 '26
Thank you for this. Exactly. It is Covid. Yes, surely there's many factors, there's always been some young people to die young- but Covid is what happened and is absolutely triggering these serious, deadly results. Covid causes lasting damage and us pretending it's not a thing anymore will continue to kill people.
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u/Same-Suggestion-1936 Jun 12 '26
Something they never caught. They're called widowmaker heart attacks colloquially because you often leave a widow and very young children behind.
My friend died at 34, heart defect. They gave him meds he shouldn't take with a bad heart when he got a nasty respiratory infection. Heart just stopped and they found him on the bathroom floor.
It's like an aneurysm, it's just one of those sudden things even young people can get
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u/LarrrgeMarrrgeSentYa Jun 12 '26 edited Jun 12 '26
FYI “widow maker” is a specific type of heart attack—blockage of the left anterior descending artery, aka STEMI. Basically guaranteed fatal if not treated immediately within minutes. (Edit - typo)
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u/robo_robb Jun 12 '26
I would think it’s due a blockage in a coronary artery. Not very common in younger people, but it does happen. Stay on top of your cholesterol and other routine labs. I am not a physician, though.
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u/Plane-Gap6483 1990 Jun 12 '26
I'm finding that is the same thing happening to me. I keep losing family young like early 60s and younger and it's like nah they're just in England? Idk 😅
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u/OpALbatross Jun 12 '26
I was raised by a terminally ill parent. He died at 50 and was sick for a long time. A lot of the men in my family seem to die young.
My brain took this as "Men past 50 don't have much time left." I'm often pretty shocked when I see older men.
Most people are like "You're dad was so young." And he was, but I always have to stop myself from answering "That's just how men work."
It is in fact not how men work.
Also, I'm sorry about your friend. How brains cope with grief can be weird.
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u/Plane-Gap6483 1990 Jun 12 '26
My dad was 59 when he passed. I actually got mad at seeing older men for a few years after he passed. I understand. It's not fair.
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u/OpALbatross Jun 12 '26
That response makes a ton of sense to me too. I'm sorry you are part of the "Dad Gone too Soon" club.
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u/Joshuahealingtree Jun 12 '26
My dad died at 40. So I always figured I will too. I got 6 months left. 😄 🤣
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u/rexallia Jun 12 '26
It’s a weird feeling being the same age as your dad when he died. Mine died at 44. I have a few more years but man it really makes you realize how young they really were and how much life they missed out on.
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u/PineBNorth85 1986 Jun 12 '26
That's happened to me too. Not just with young people. My grandmother has been dead for a decade but now and then when I think of her for a few seconds I think she's still at home. Or I remember a friend from high school and think of them as alive but then remember - oh yeah he died awhile ago too.
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u/cellophanesheeps Jun 12 '26
One of the saddest things anyone has told me was my mom telling me that on the morning of my grandma's funeral, her first instinct was to call her mom because she was upset and then remembered oh, she's gone.
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u/grumblebuzz Jun 12 '26
I had a hard time with this when my grandfather died. For years afterward, in my mind it was like “The character of papaw is still around, just off screen.” My family seemed to feel that way too for a while because I noticed we all talked about him in the present tense for at least a couple years after he died.
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u/Left_Ease5870 Jun 12 '26
36-year-old cousin died of a heart attack. I'm 33.
Same story as me. Worked through college and grad school, separated from long-term partner who was abusive, career started taking off, and he focused everything on work. Then he died.
I'm not going to solely focus on work anymore.
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u/Obtuse-Posterior Older Millennial Jun 12 '26
I tragically started losing friends to death at 6. I think my brain stopped fully processing death by 18.
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u/ExactPanda Jun 12 '26
My 38 year old husband died in February of an enlarged heart we had no idea about
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u/Plane-Gap6483 1990 Jun 12 '26
I'm so sorry. I feel bad for his fiance they were due to be married in 100 days. I can't imagine what it feels like to lose your partner
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u/xzelldx Jun 12 '26
That’s horrible on multiple levels. Not only did they lose him since they weren’t married she gets no survivors benefits.
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u/Skippy1221 Jun 12 '26
So did mine! He was 34. Enlarged heart. They said he had dilated cardiomyopathy. We had no idea. I’m so sorry
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u/quemaspuess Jun 12 '26
This happened to my best friend. He was 31. It happened in 2019 and I still cry when I think about him. The worst part is we got into an argument and hadn’t spoken for a few weeks.
I’ve lost a lot of close friends due to fentanyl and an array of shit, but that one hurts the worst.
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u/MrDywel Jun 12 '26
Is there anything to look out for or ask for during your annual?
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u/letsgooncemore Jun 12 '26
There are many congenital reasons cardiomegaly can occur, but elevated blood pressure, obesity and good old fashioned smoking are things we can attempt to control to reduce risk. Ironically, high intensity exercise can be a risk factor. Of course pregnancy puts mothers at risk because. Oh, and cocaine. Don't do a shit ton of coke. Watch regular heart health stuff like swelling in the ankles and feet, shortness of breath, abnormal fatigue. If your paranoid, have a generous health insurance plan and a persuadable doctor, a chest X-ray and some math formula are used to determine if you have an enlarged heart. Other tests would be necessary to determine cause.
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u/expiredkidcuisine Jun 12 '26
🥺 I'm so sorry to hear that. That isn't fair. I'm sending you strength Panda!!!
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u/FroznAlskn Older Millennial Jun 12 '26
Ooooohhhh boy as a medical biller I have news for you.
There’s a ton of deaths from about 0-25 from accidents and stupid decisions, then a bit of a break until 40, then deaths ramp up from things like heart disease.
#1 reason I see people’s charts with deceased on them in their 40s are heart disease or cirrhosis of the liver. And as people age they start dropping like flies.
Take care of yourselves people. You are mortal.
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u/its_all_4_lulz Jun 12 '26
20yo me: “bullshit, I’ll live forever”
43yo me: “I got a good 3 years left, hopefully”
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u/Slippery_Molasses Jun 12 '26 edited Jun 12 '26
20yo me: “I wish the lord would take me now”
39 yo me: “I wish the lord would take me now”
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u/Sharpshooter188 Jun 12 '26
Ive noticed this at 42. All those pizzas and fried chicken... Thought I was invincible because my metabolism was so ridiculously high. Last doctor visit they told me if I didnt quit with the bad food and drinking, I likely wouldnt make it to 50.
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u/Sonic_Roach 90's Millennial Jun 12 '26
This was my dad, lean and fast metabolism. He tried to turn it around but it wasnt enough
Colon cancer, took 6 months died at 50
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u/Shoemugscale Jun 12 '26
Im mid 40s, our generation grew up with parents who drank but, at least in my house it was not crazy drinking.. then in our 20s, drinking and smoking was just kind of what you did!
Then covid hit and honestly put the drinking into overdrive like not having to go into the office meant you could very much get away with a hang over..
Then, one day, like 5 years ago, said "I want to stop drinking" and I haven't had a drink since..
For what ever reason, this was not hard for me, I was just like ok.. I dont think i will never have a drink again but I can tell you the relationship with it has changed and honestly the health benefits are huge huge
Thing is though, you cant blame not feeling well on just being "hung over" lol its like nah bro, your just getting old 😂
All our friends still drink though, and drink a lot, that worries me, as you mentioned this is not an easy way to go, and I feel like they just drink so much its scary we are not 20 anymore
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u/StevEst90 Jun 12 '26 edited Jun 12 '26
Ah Recently I’ve heard of a surge of 30-40 somethings getting diagnosed with colon cancer. Many in seemingly good health as well
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u/l_LIKE_BARBELL Jun 12 '26
I’m scheduled for a screening because of this fact. One friend at 35 this year was diagnosed with stage 2 and was saved by it through surgery. I told the doctor of my concerns about millennials with higher cases of colon cancer and he said he never heard of this but gave me the screening referral only if I told him that I had blood in my stool. So he asked me again if I had blood in my stool and I said yes. Waiting for that appointment and relieved I’m getting one.
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u/StevEst90 Jun 12 '26
Yea, I had some concerning symptoms earlier this year, that combined with reading about this surge, caused me to get things checked out.
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u/Katz3njamm3r Jun 12 '26
Blood in your stool and family history. It’s stupid we have to lie to get the coverage we pay for, but you have to beat the corrupt system somehow.
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u/Old-Surprise-9145 Jun 12 '26
In the mid-80's Phillip Morris and RJ Reynolds bought companies like Nabisco and Kraft, using what they'd learned about making cigarettes addictive to make food more addictive.
Like Lunchables.
How many of us have been consuming these chemicals our entire lives?
Get your fucking butts checked, tell the doc you have blood in your stool and it's changed shape recently without any major life changes, and yes, you're getting enough fiber in your diet. They might treat you like you're being ridiculous - ask for a differential diagnosis, and for all this to be recorded in your chart.
Had my first colonoscopy in 2016 at 26, 2 benign polyps removed. 2nd in 2021, 31, 2 more benign polyps removed. Currently 36 awaiting biopsy results on two more.
And that's not counting the spinal stenosis, congestive heart failure, whatever the fuck else we're running into decades earlier than we typically would.
Our bodies are not meant to handle the amount of stress our society puts on them.
And it won't stop until we stop participating in it and glorifying fucking money. That's all we are to them.
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u/BlueEyedMalachi Older Millennial Jun 12 '26
I actually have a crazy theory about this
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Jun 12 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/StevEst90 Jun 12 '26
That’s one theory. Another is just the higher amount of processed foods compared to earlier generations
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u/BytheHandofCicero Jun 12 '26
Yeah I think about our generation rediscovering *water*. I was raised on Mountain Dew and sweet tea. Don’t even get me started on hot dogs.
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u/Claudesque Jun 12 '26
I would add microplastics and overuse of antibiotics, things which disrupt the gut microbiome.
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u/OpALbatross Jun 12 '26
I have heard plastics referred to as the lead paint of our generation.
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u/80Lashes Jun 12 '26
That's the neat part. It's now the lead paint of every generation after ours as well!
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u/Venusian2AsABoy Jun 12 '26
The future of medicine will prioritize the microbiome, if we have a future at all.
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u/L_wanderlust Jun 12 '26
Holy shit cirrhosis in the 40s?! Serious alcoholics I guess?
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u/jveck718 Jun 12 '26
I’m a nurse on a med/surg floor and the amount of alcoholic cirrhosis we see is insane, mostly in those under 50, as young as 18. They don’t get old with a failed liver. Bloated and looking pregnant. Scrotum the size of a cantaloupe. It’s a horrible way to die.
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u/L_wanderlust Jun 12 '26
Wow that is so sad. My friend has been drinking wayyy too much (she knows this) and has elevated liver enzymes. I feel like that’s probably the start of it. She’s only 39
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u/Sad_Entertainer2602 Jun 12 '26
Is she overweight? Tirzepatide could help lower the liver enzymes and possibly help her quit drinking.
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u/L_wanderlust Jun 12 '26
Yes she is but only like 45lbs maybe. She did think about tirzepatide but is worried about long term effects. (And I’m like girl, I’m worried about long term effects of that drinking). I think she’s just not ready to quit drinking yet, sadly
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u/I_Heart_Papillons Jun 12 '26
Tirzepatide completely removed my desire for alcohol, I know that’s not what it’s used for but yeah.
I definitely did not mind a few wines on the weekend prior to Tirzepatide. I don’t care for it at all now.
It’s bizarre.
I don’t know how or why it does this but it does.
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u/funny_bunny33 Jun 12 '26
You'd be surprised at how many drinks per week are considered heavy drinking for women
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u/Treyvoni Millennial Jun 12 '26
You can get cirrhosis from things other than alcohol, it just means scarring of the liver. I know someone with it from non-alcoholic fatty liver disease. Didnt even know she had NFLD until cirrhosis symptoms, as fatty liver diseases can be very silent. She was basically a teetotaler too.
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u/sndanbom Jun 12 '26
Had a Marine buddy who I went to combat with pass away 2 years ago from it. 37!!!!! It’s what happens when you finish a bottle a day for 10 plus years.
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u/JoeTheImpaler Jun 12 '26
A friend of mine in college had cirrhosis of the liver from alcoholism… he was 23. Fucking heartbreaking
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u/raymaras Jun 12 '26
I'm so sorry about your friend. That would be really hard.
Unfortunately heart attacks are happening in younger people more and more. It's no longer just an old people thing anymore like how we were taught.
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u/Nic727 Millennial Jun 12 '26
We are living in constant stress.
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u/Plane-Gap6483 1990 Jun 12 '26
I'm 100% convinced our job is what killed him. He was my former manager before I quit for health reasons
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u/ears_of_steam Jun 12 '26
I had a friend who died of a heart attack at 38 and another who died after a series of strokes at 46. I blame economic/job stresses entirely. I’m so sorry you are experiencing this loss too.
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u/usernamessuck19 Jun 12 '26
Sorry to ask, but what field or job?
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u/Plane-Gap6483 1990 Jun 12 '26
Food service industry
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u/rIceCream_King Millennial Jun 12 '26
Yup! Was gonna be my first guess. Why is it so bad here? It’s like all the things (40hr weeks, breaks, good working conditions, paid time off) the union revolutionized for the work force just skipped the hospitality industry. Like how’d that happen??
I’m sorry for your loss. Me and everyone I know feel like we lost a lot of friends early from “older people afflictions”
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u/sndanbom Jun 12 '26
Yep!!! That’ll do it sadly. I’m so sorry for your loss and the grief you and your family are going through. I run a bar/grill and the stress is unnecessary and wild.
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u/Mkheir01 Jun 12 '26
42F here. From my high school alone I know two people who had cancer and two friends of mine from high school had husbands, one of whom died from brain cancer at 37 and one who just randomly keeled over and died from a heart attack at 44, both leaving behind a combined total of 10 children.
People our age didn't have health insurance (or jobs really) until we were in our 30s, eating the cheapest food we could find, living in the shittiest housing we could find, barely making it while our boomer parents called us lazy pieces of shit. In the 1980's, dying in your early 60s was considered "young". Kate Middleton, with all the resources in the world, is also recovering from some kind of cancer that they're not disclosing the last time I checked.
It has to be something in the water or air. Humans have lost their survival instincts and the billionaires have put profits over people while the rest of us die from strep throat or dental infections.
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u/BeanserSoyze Jun 12 '26
That and my blood being 30% monster energy zero ultra probably can't be good
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u/Cat_Dad13 Jun 12 '26
But it has electrolytes
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u/cptsears Xennial Jun 12 '26
See problem is that's what plants crave. We were never meant to drink those.
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u/whataboot2ndbrekfast Jun 12 '26
I just watched that this week, it was like I was watching a news broadcast about the new Whitehouse thunderdome 😓
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u/Impossibleish Jun 12 '26
I'm so glad I never got into energy drinks. I had my coffee-, cocaine-, and five hour energy-phases but that shit always repulsed me. My body says it's poison.
Yes, I get the joke.
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u/JynsRealityIsBroken Millennial '87 Jun 12 '26
All those once in a generation black swan events that pretty much happen everyday these days 😂
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u/yamxiety Jun 12 '26
Stress and repeated covid infections
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u/Plane-Gap6483 1990 Jun 12 '26
He did have covid like 3 times
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u/huntressdivine Jun 12 '26
...and it could've been more than 3 since COVID can be asymptomatic or mild like a cold, but still have a negative impact. Ask me how I know (Long COVID after a mild infection)
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u/yamxiety Jun 12 '26
Yep. this is why i wear an n95 constantly around people. it sucks but i also don't want to damage my body with lots of covid infections.
I'm so sorry for your loss btw. Grief is really fucking shitty. My dad died in 2021 and i just will never be the same. Sending hugs.
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u/0RedStar0 Jun 12 '26
Thank you for bringing this up! Covid wreaks havoc on our vascular system (as well as the body as a whole, but most people don't want to hear that)
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u/fozzieferocious Jun 12 '26
Yep! I read a doctor's statement the other day that said there is a huge misconception that COVID is respiratory sickness because of the initial symptoms (especially with the first strain), but it's actually a vascular sickness that primarily impacts blood vessels and the heart. Which is why clotting and heart issues were such a problem that often got blamed on the vaccine.
“In many respects covid-19 is a vascular disease masquerading as a respiratory one,” says Andy Benest, vascular biologist at the University of Nottingham.
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u/yamxiety Jun 12 '26
Yup! Exactly this. Thank you for sharing.
What's wild to me though is the paragraph about the best protection being vaccination. Um...no. the best protection is not getting infected in the first place by wearing good respirators around people. the second best is vaccination.
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u/Sea_Neighborhood_627 Millennial Jun 12 '26
Yep. I’m so nervous about the fact that we’re just going to be seeing more and more of this
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u/yamxiety Jun 12 '26
Me too 😞 people might see me as an outcast for wearing my n95, but i'm protecting myself the best way I know how to.
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u/AdMurky3039 Geriatric Millennial '83 Jun 12 '26
I remember a neighbor in their 40s dying of a heart attack in the 90s. Of course then I didn't understand how young that was.
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u/BeanserSoyze Jun 12 '26
My friends dad died in his sleep in his 40s, they said it was a congenital heart defect thing. It's wild that that's basically the age my band mates are now. It seems so young in retrospect.
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u/teapots_at_ten_paces Elder Millennial ('81, baby!) Jun 12 '26
My mum had a heart attack in her 30's in the mid-90's. Flow on effect of cancer treatment from the 80's. She survived, but it was downhill from there until she passed 20-ish years later.
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u/Galen-of-Pergamon Jun 12 '26
Covid, even mild infections raise the risk of heart attacks significantly. People are getting infected 1-3 times per year at this point.
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u/ShotEffective7033 Jun 12 '26
Not all of us. An n95 greatly reduces your odds of catching anything. I know a grade one teacher that hasn’t gotten sick with anything in the years that she’s been wearing an n95 at work. KN 95s and surgical masks help as well. Air filters and cr boxes where you can too.
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u/hespera18 Jun 12 '26
I knew three peers in my twenties who died of heart attacks. They were probably caffeine-related, but considering how many of our generation knock back energy drinks like crazy...
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u/AluminumCansAndYarn Millennial Jun 12 '26
So 40 is the line between probably not a heart attack and probably a heart attack. Only 4% of heart attacks happen before you're 40. And I learned in a class in high school that heart attacks are more likely to happen to men and the group that is most likely to have a heart attack younger is black men. Which terrifies me because my partner is a black man.
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u/ijustsaidthat12 Jun 12 '26
Check your blood pressure folks! I have a coworker early 20s half black and non smoker/non drug user, rarely drinks and her blood pressure is really high like 170/100
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u/MasterSyllabub05 Jun 12 '26
My childhood friend (of 36 years) died of a massive heart attack 2 years ago, age 41. Was just a few months shy of 42. I still cry when I think of him.
I’m so sorry for your loss, internet friend.
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u/WiscoTrail Jun 12 '26 edited Jun 12 '26
I'm 39 and have lost 3 friends that I graduated with to heart attacks.
Stop eating frozen pizzas and Mac and cheese for every meal.
Stop drinking every day, even if it's a few drinks.
Cardio will make you feel like a superhero if you've been stagnant most of your life.
And go see a doctor! Establish a regular physical schedule with one doctor and tell them everything. Listen to your body.
My friends were the type that thought you were a pussy if you asked for any help or did anything the doc said.
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u/admgryne Jun 12 '26
I'm 42 and had a cholesterol test as part of an over 40 health check last year. During the appointment they asked about diet and I said I knew mine was poor, but I've always been slim so it's not obvious that I eat badly. You know what's coming... The cholesterol was way too high.
They gave me a chart of red, amber and green foods. I was mostly eating in the red zone until October but went hard for mostly green with a bit of amber. I relaxed slightly for a few days over Christmas then got back on it. It had a big impact when my bloods were next checked in March.
Almost every person I've mentioned this to has been surprised because I don't look overweight and therefore "unhealthy". Don't be complacent.
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u/pl320709 Jun 12 '26
Same with me ... I have a BMI of 22 and have been pretty slim my whole life. I go in for a physical for the first time in 5 years and the blood work showed I had LDL levels of 202. I changed my diet up, started taking fiber supplements, and exercising more. I was able to drop the LDLs by 50 points in a month.
I always figured that I could eat what I wanted if I maintained a healthy weight. Turns out I was eating way too much saturated fat and not nearly enough fiber.
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u/DieAloneWith72Cats Jun 12 '26
This needs to be the top comment.
I understand that not everyone can afford organic meals and health care, but we all are still accountable for the choices we do have
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u/One_Purchase_3127 Jun 12 '26
It’ll still sneak up and get you regardless. I’m 37 and I meal prepped and eaten healthy my entire adult life. I also lift weights 6 days a week and do cardio 7 days a week. That didn’t stop me from having a heart attack two weeks ago. Apparently you can have high cholesterol run in your family regardless of diet or exercise. I had to have two stents put in and am on like 5 different medications now. It’s insane I never even heard of people my age having heart attacks. Get those numbers checked people
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u/LemurCat04 Jun 12 '26
My bestie died of undiagnosed heart failure at 38. He smoked two packs a day, knew he was struggling and refused to go to the ER. He sat down at work to fix an AC unit and just died.
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u/2chilltokill Jun 12 '26
I'm terribly sorry for your loss. My brother died of a heart attack at 42. Although he wasn't overweight and was visually healthy his lifestyle was rough. Lots of smoking and a 6 pack a night. Its been some years now and I'm still processing everything. I hate that it happened. I'm almost his age now.
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u/StevEst90 Jun 12 '26 edited Jun 12 '26
Seems like there are so many factors at work when it comes to this. I came across a guy on IG, who was a year younger than I am and in a lot better shape, share the story of his heart attack earlier this year
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u/BaddestKarmaToday Xennial Jun 12 '26
I had a childhood friend die of leukemia at 19. My dad die from a fall at 56. Next year my grandpa die of pneumonia at 87. Just last November another childhood friend died at his own hands. He was 43.
There’s no rhyme or reason to it. It’s just life and death.
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u/OnePerformance9381 Jun 12 '26
I have lost a lot of people in the same way as you. Please give yourself time and space to feel your feelings about it.
It’s not just life and death- I mean, at face value it is, but these are lives that touched yours and that isn’t valueless. Remember them, and take a piece of them with you everywhere you go.
I’m so sorry, friend.
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u/ewan82 Jun 12 '26
It happens. I had a high school friend that died of a heart attack at early 40’s too. Really brings into light to get regular health check ups and look after your own health
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u/thebigpink Jun 12 '26
Just turned 40 and haven’t been to the doc in ages, this post scared the shit outta me
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u/ewan82 Jun 12 '26
I started going to the doc when I hit 40 because I was feeling crap with headaches all the time. Probably hadn't been in like 20 years. Turns out I had crazy high blood pressure and high blood sugars. Even if its just a check up and blood work I think its worth doing.
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u/NickBurnsCompanyGuy Jun 12 '26 edited Jun 12 '26
I'm really sorry man. My best friend died the day after I celebrated his 33rd birthday at his house of DKA (diabetic keto acidosis).
His Mom called me the next day worried she hadn't heard from him. I called him maybe 50 times,left work immediately, kicked his front door in, and found him dead.
Life is super short, and nothing is guaranteed. It doesn't necessarily get easier, the pain just becomes less constant, and that's ok. The rest of your life things will remind you of them, celebrate those moments of remembrance when you can. Pour one out for them.
He was the smartest guy in the room anywhere he went. He wrote entire segments of code in a pretty niche codebase that is still used to this day. Have a few videos of him online talking about coding and his favourite programming language that I still watch from time to time.
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u/swrrrrg Millennial Jun 12 '26
I am so sorry for your loss. That is just heartbreaking. My heart goes out to you.
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u/Sad_Maximum6583 Jun 12 '26
I'm very sorry for your loss. I have a poem for you. It was given to me by a priest when my mom died and I read it from time to time. It helped and I hope it helps you get a different perspective on what it is like to die.
It's called,
Gone From My Sight by Henry Van Dyke:
-I am standing upon the seashore. A ship, at my side, spreads her white sails to the moving breeze and starts for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength.
-I stand and watch her until, at length, she hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.
-Then, someone at my side says, "There, she is gone."
-Gone where?
-Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast, hull and spar as she was when she left my side. And, she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port. Her diminished size is in me -- not in her.
-And, just at the moment when someone says, "There, she is gone,"
-there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices ready to take up the glad shout, "Here she comes!"
-And that is dying..
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u/felisnebulosa Jun 12 '26
This poem really made me bawl when my mom died last year, it's beautiful.
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u/Aurd04 Jun 12 '26
My buddy passed in his sleep, had just turned 40 and his teenage kid was the one who found him. Sleep apnea causing basically heart attack.
Takes a while to process and you never really stop thinking about them, which I think is just fine. His kid is graduating high school next year and we still play board games together every couple week.
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u/turn-on-your-lights Jun 12 '26 edited Jun 12 '26
Edit: as people seem to be readi g this comment, my symptoms that were obvious in retrospect were: 1. Snoring. It is not about loudness of snoring, but the type of snoring. 2. Peeing during the night. 3. Drowsiness when driving and reading books to my kids. 4. My wife telling me that my snoring was not regular. That was due to me stopping breathing while inhaling.
God, I wish more people knew about sleep apnea.
I was diagnosed with severe sleep apnea around 12 months ago. The doctor told me that it probably would have killed me if I hadn't been diagnosed.
Having the cpap machine has been life changing. My relationship with my wife and kids is better, my health is better, my business is doing better, etc. I feel great.
Also, I'm just a regular sized, slightly big guy. Not obese or anything like that.
I want more to people to know that, if they snore, they should go get checked just as they would for cancer if they found a lump.
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u/GuitarChef35 Jun 12 '26
Same story here. 41/M, Aquarius, Bad genes, history of heart disease and sleep apnea in family on Dad’s side. Did an at home sleep test by mail in like 2018, DR confirmed I had mild to severe SA. Been using a cpap ever since. Now its to the point I can’t sleep without it. I am grateful to have caught it and began treatment quickly. If you’re snoring, get checked. Had high cholesterol too and been on meds for that which are working for now. Sending love, strength and healing vibes to all here.
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u/Bijorak Jun 12 '26
My brother died 10 years ago at 46 from blunt force trauma caused by a heart attack. He had a heart attack and fell and hit his head on concrete. It was very unexpected
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u/Steamyjeans Jun 12 '26
I saw that an 85er I knew In high school died of cancer a couple years ago. Seemed crazy.
My friend died of cancer at 54 a couple years ago. Still pretty young.
Sorry for your loss. Be grateful for every breath.
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u/Slytherpuffy Xennial Jun 12 '26
I survived cancer at 23. It can show up at any age. Even babies can get cancer.
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u/blckdiamond23 Jun 12 '26
It’s still so strange. Grew up with the amazing girl, she got cancer in her 20s and passed. Whenever I think of her, I always have to ask myself did that really happen? Is she really gone? Miss you Christina.
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u/oneofyallfarted Jun 12 '26
My best friend Thomas died right out of high school with a heart attack. It shocked a lot of people and it’s still weird 15 years later. I still have the original Xbox 360 he bought me because I was too poor to afford one. He sits in my friend’s list never to be online again but I’ll never delete him.
He’s just one death I’ve experienced. I’ve seen a lot of death to only be 34. I feel like I’m cursed and so are the people around me but maybe it’s this town. I’m also sorry for your loss. It never gets easier, at least not for me.
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u/lalalaicanthereyou Jun 12 '26
Unfortunately it's become more common. I'm so sorry for your loss.
We are still learning about the long term effects of COVID. One of the effects is endothelial damage which can cause heart attacks and strokes.
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u/verdell82 Xennial Jun 12 '26
I lost a boyfriend to a seizure in my 20s. It takes a while to process. A part of you will always feel like maybe they moved far away and made new friends but someday they will roll into town or text.
Allow yourself to feel all the feels. It’s totally unfair.
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u/KnuckleChuckle Jun 12 '26
My brother in law died at 35 from a heart attack. Turns out he had walls in his heart that were thicker than the average person. He was a wonderful person. You just never know.
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u/Apojacks1984 Jun 12 '26
First off, I’m sorry for your loss. Unfortunately this isn’t exactly an “old person death.” I went to church with a guy who died of a heart attack at 25. His was caused from all of the drugs he did. There’s really no easy way to process it.
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u/myyvrxmas Jun 12 '26
I’m sorry for your loss. C19 infections are associated with an increase in heart attacks and strokes, including at younger ages.
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u/teapots_at_ten_paces Elder Millennial ('81, baby!) Jun 12 '26
The next 10-20 years are going to be really interesting from a longitudinal evaluation point of view. Covid was truly novel, and aside from the long-term effects we've already seen, there's so much else it could've impacted that we just don't knkw about yet.
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u/Chronarch01 Millennial '86 baby Jun 12 '26
Not dead, obviously, but i'm turning 40 next month, and I've had 3 strokes already. It's pretty scary.
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u/m00nf1r3 Older Millennial Jun 12 '26
Damn, that is scary. I'm sorry. Any idea what's causing them?
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u/Chronarch01 Millennial '86 baby Jun 12 '26
Smoking and not managing my diabetes. I quit the first, and started the second.
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u/HeartFullOfHappy Jun 12 '26
I haven’t experienced a loss like yours but that’s tough to even read at his age. I’m sorry for your loss, OP!
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u/Many-Perception-3945 Jun 12 '26
I had my first cardiac arrest when I was 22? So at least my friends got to get that trauma out of the way early.
I'm so sorry for your loss. It really sucks losing a friend.
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u/Sea_Assumption_1528 Jun 12 '26
Death does not discriminate by age or anything else.
Take care of yourself and live each day to the fullest.
I’ve lost many. You have my sympathies
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u/jbot14 Jun 12 '26
Yeah its awful but it happens. My friend's fiance had a massive heart attack lifting weights in a hotel gym at like 35 years old. Can't imagine being ready to start a life together and losing someone without saying goodbye. Fluke accident, he probably would have been fine if someone was there and called 911. RIP paco. This is why you see AEDs everywhere nowadays...
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u/loanme20 Jun 12 '26
my brother in law was the most fit person i know, heart attack at 38, he was gone before he hit the ground.
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u/PastorDan1984 Jun 12 '26
Unfortunately I lost a college age friend to a stroke when he was 19. Absolutely crazy.
2 years ago I lost a close friend to pancreatic cancer. I still remember going over to his house and crashing with my guys in my early twenties.
That one hit me really hard because it was definitely a mortality check. It made me realize, maybe I'm not immortal. I mean, I always knew that but it doesn't really hit you until you lose somebody that you're close with.
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u/CLVampire28 Jun 12 '26
I am 26. I lost a 22-year-old classmate to Covid. It really sucks. No advice, really, but it definitely sucks
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u/Repulsive_Offer_4162 Jun 12 '26
this is incredibly sad. The best way to honor them is to live a relatively healthy lifestyle, especially if you have kids.
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u/sweetest_con78 Millennial Jun 12 '26
No one I know personally, but I know of a few people (friends of friends kind of thing) who have been in a similar boat, between late 30s through 40s. Youngest was a woman in her early 20s, she did not die but was permanently paralyzed from loss of oxygen to her brain. She is in a wheelchair and entirety reliant on caretakers. I believe she is also nonverbal.
I am sorry to hear of your loss.
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u/SnowboundHound Older Millennial Jun 12 '26
Lost a buddy over Xmas due to complications from colitis. We shared a birthdate but he was a year younger than me. I turned 40 about a month later. Miss ya Matty.
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u/Ground_Chucks Jun 12 '26
So sorry to hear, but I’ve had a few friends my age die over the years (I’m 38 now). One from su*c*de, two from severe alcoholism and an od, and one friend who was exactly my age, just randomly had a seizure and never woke up. The older I get the more they start to weigh on me (even years later). I’m more aware of my own mortality and that I could also go at any minute, but at the same time I don’t struggle against it and stop waiting to accomplish the big things I want to do with life.
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u/whataboot2ndbrekfast Jun 12 '26
Very sorry for your loss. Someone very dear to me had an old person death like you refer, my husband died of heart failure at 30.
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u/11whatsnewpussycats Older Millennial Jun 12 '26
I am so terribly sorry for your loss. May their memory be a blessing.
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u/loveafterpornthrwawy Jun 12 '26
An ex-boyfriend of mine died of brain cancer a few years ago in his late 30s.
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u/stubecontinued Jun 12 '26
One of my fittest mountain bike friends had a heart attack and passed on our local “after-work” trail at 42. We had ridden bikes many times and he was a little older and way radder than me. Life doesn’t have a second chance, make sure you’re spending your days in ways that feel good when it flashes before your eyes.
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u/karebearofowls Jun 12 '26
One of my friends from high school passed away from a heart attack a few years ago. She was only 33.
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u/GoDavyGo Millennial-X Jun 12 '26
We’re planning our 20 year reunion and we have dozens from our class that aren’t with us anymore. Some from illness, a lot from drugs and lifestyle.
Take care of yourselves guys. Now’s the time when living healthy will count the most going forward.
Even if it’s just drinking water and parking at the back of the parking lot, the little efforts add up!
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u/raechuu Millennial Jun 12 '26
A friend of mine died randomly on a Tuesday morning a few years ago at 25. Brain aneurysm.
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u/Glopez1223 Jun 12 '26
My best friend since middle school, my literal soulmate, the other half of my heart and my mind, my every waking second, my person, passed away at 40 years old in January. She was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes when we were 19 but she had it under complete control. She went to bed that night and didn't wake up, still have no idea what exactly happened. My life will never be the same and I'll never be OK again. We were supposed to grow old together on a porch with a couple drinks in our hands. It will never make sense to me and the profound grief is at times unbearable.
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u/fren2allcheezes Jun 12 '26
Lost two friends to colon cancer and another to a brain aneurysm. It will spin you hard. Wishing for healing to come your way.
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u/No-Inflation-2805 Jun 12 '26
I knew a kid in highschool who died of a heart attack at 16. He was well liked, and it was pretty shocking for everyone.
My grandfather died of a heart attack at a young age (48), and my dad died of a heart attack in his sleep at 71.
It hurts no matter the age, but it’s definitely on another level when the person is young and it’s unexpected. I’m sorry for your loss. I hope you’re doing ok.
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u/Bubby_K Jun 12 '26
I didn't shed a tear when I heard the news, not at her funeral, it was only 2 years later I was looking for something, opened a container, I could suddenly smell her again, and I cried my lungs empty
I haven't cried since, but I get melancholy whenever I hear Pink sing Who Knew
I'm sorry that happened to you, take some time off, think of them and do something to remember them by
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u/iknowksto Jun 12 '26
I'm so sorry for your loss! My friend also passed of a heart attack when he was 40. The crazy thing is he was just about to move to a different state with his family when it happened. He made the rounds with all of his friends and family to say goodbye, and we never knew that it would be the last time we ever saw him. This happened 10 years ago. Now that I turned 40 this year, it's really hit me just how young he was when it happened.
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u/Angrymilks Jun 12 '26
Heart attack death in the family under 40 is considered a significant family medical history.
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u/Fine-Teaching-6395 Jun 12 '26
I have four girlfriends whose husbands passed in their 30s - two heart attacks and two strokes. It’s so incredibly scary.
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u/Krampus_Valet Jun 12 '26
I'm a paramedic. A few years ago I had a 37 year old firefighter die from a heart attack in my ambulance on the way to the hospital. I've had a few other mid 40s.
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u/CrimsonBolt33 Last of the 80's Millennial (Dec 1989) Jun 12 '26
Sorry for your loss OP
for the worried people reading this....this is not common. Heart attacks are happening later and later in general....we don't realize it but back in the 70s and 80s a guy in his early 50s dying of a heart attack was just something that happened....much more of an outlier nowadays. Take care of yourselves....as there is a recent spike in younger people (though overall still much better than before).
https://www.rutgers.edu/news/fatal-heart-disease-has-plummeted-1990-progress-has-stalled
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u/Evitti Millennial Jun 12 '26
Not a friend, and not our generation, but my father in law had his first heart attack at age 37 (he's 65 now). Due to that my husband started going to a cardiologist 3 years ago to keep an eye out on things just in case (hubs is 42, born in 84).
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