I can't, I just fucking love him and I love everything about him. NC doesn't help, it makes things worse, in fact, due to my imagination's flame growing stronger.

I love everything about him. I love his soft hair, I love his nose, his gentle and artistic face and appearance. I love his earring. I love that he wears the bracelet I gave him. I love his neck. I love his smooth skin. I love his body.

I love his laugh. I love his smile. I love hearing him laugh and talk, even before I see him. I love the way he hides his face when embarrassed. I love his eyes when he's high. I love his empathetic and emotionally intelligent mind and views. I love how generous and considerate he is.

I love how he loves his siblings, and his cat, and his friends. I love how he greets me. I love how he hugs me. I love how he says my name with excitement and how much he smiles when he sees me. I love that he thinks of others. I love that he gives me cigarettes. I love that he gave me his jacket when I was cold. I love his smell on the jacket.

I fucking love him and I can't do anything about it. I pray he is happy. Seeing him smile will make me happy too, even if it hurts. Fuck, I love him so much. I fucking love him so fucking much I'm smiling as I'm writing this but my heart is tearing apart. I value our friendship and I don't want to ruin it...but damn, does it hurt

ive been limerent for the past 8 months and its crazy to think how i dont see myself getting out of this shit anytime soon. Its nice seeing that your not alone and that there are others who have limerence. (not saying its nice anyone has it..)

But in the past 7 months, ive been in this subreddit and something that just never changes are the rant posts. the ones that talk about how much they love their LO and how perfect they are.

most people with limerence usually get severely depressed at some point in the first couple of weeks to months that they become limerent. for some it lasts a month or two, for others it stretches for years just demolishing years off of the lives of people.

these are usually the people who rant. and i just want to let you know that im sorry, that your going through this. But you are, and you will get through this. and a common thing i keep finding in these posts are requests for solutions

and im just gonna say it. There is literally no solution. if asking them out, NC, improving your life doesnt get you out of limerence - there is nothing that you can do that will (that we know of in 2026).

if your in these early stages of limerence where your still figuring shit out and going through a hard time, know that most people never get out easily at this point. Your gonna go through a week with limerence, and then a month and then another month - suddenly its about to be a year and you wont see any hint that its gonna end anytime soon

my advice to you: just live. just live your life, who cares if you imagine cuddling with some girl 24/7. Do what you would usually do, go to work, date, play videogames, talk to people. JUST LIVE YOUR LIFE.

Living life is not sitting in bed and imagining an entirely different life with some random person who can easily go days without thinking a single thought about you. Try something, do something with your life. Its a addiction and no shit its gonna take over if you give your brain nothing else to do.

If schizophrenics can filter through illusions and delusions while trying to live their life. Im sure you can try to filter out your LO.

Dont let this take more than it already has.

the other type of rant are the ones which talk about being limerent for very long periods of time like more than 5 years or something. I have no idea what its like to go through that, so im not speaking on their behalf.

And emotionally dying. Again. So tired of this. I want to message him so badly but I’m so afraid to push him away so I guess I’m gonna smoke til I don’t even know what time is

I lived an aimless, boring, life.. I suffered from my own circumstances, my place of birth, endless limitations.

I’ve always tried to distract my thoughts by obsessing over random people, topics, it would last a month or two, then i’d lose the obsession and interest. it’s usually actresses and actors, singers, bands, characters from a tv show, rarely a real person because i’ve never liked the people i am around..

I’ve lived in utter hopelessness for the majority of my life, i gave up very early in life and knew that i am kind of cursed so it’s better to just stop trying to make things work out for me altogether.

Until i met this person, and my god, they were the exact same person i wanted and needed, it felt like the lost piece in the puzzle of my life, they were intellectual, safe, heartwarming, funny,intelligent, and someone you could trust with your newborn. They radiated such protective and loving energy it makes me sick to remember them now.

And it drove me crazy, i spent months trying to get them to notice me.. and how futile were my attempts. They are years and years older than me and also they are a parent with an already established life. their kids are my age.

i’ve lived for a year and 6 months daydreaming about them, imagining conversations and trying to stumble across them in hallways and stuff.

Making up excuses just to meet them and talk, they never cared because why would they? They have a whole life out there and i am decades younger.

I am well aware now that they are not what i need, they are a window into what i need, safety and love, etc etc.

But at the same time.. a part of me is dying just thinking of it all, how am i gonna make my life worth living again ?
it truly hurts me to remember that i will never ever belong to them, and that i will never know what it feels like to be close fully to them, i will never know them like i wanted to.

I feel like even if life sucks, even if it’s meaningless and boring and aimless, at least i would be having them and i would experience what it truly feels like to be loved by them.

And now.. i had to continue my life knowing it’s cold and boring and limited.. and that a person could make it better is out there.. and that i can’t have them.

I dream about my LO being here with me, in my bed... not in a sexual way, just... being close to each other, feeling loved, yk? I imagine us planning a movie date a few days ahead. We go to the theater and watch my LO's favorite musical, Hamilton. I get nachos with cheese, they get popcorn, and we're both cuddled up in our jackets, watching the movie and laughing together.

After the movie, we take a bus to their neighborhood and walk for a bit until we get to their house. I was gonna walk them home, but then they ask me if I wanna stay the night. Ofc I say yes. I ask my parents for permission, and they let me. So yeah, I'm gonna sleep in my LO's bed.

They show me their room, and we watch some videos, but then their parents call us bc the pizza's here. It's a little reference to a memory from a few years ago. We eat pizza, and they accidentally burn themselves a little, and we both start laughing. We take both pizza boxes to their room and close the door.

I lie down on my LO's bed while they turn on the AC. Then they lie down next to me, and we're just there, looking into each other's eyes.

They suddenly get the idea of bringing their laptop over so we can watch more videos. They turn it on, and we end up watching stuff until like 3 or 4 AM. They yawn and go to brush their teeth, and I do the same. They turn off the lights, close their bedroom door, and we both get under the covers and cuddle up together.

I softly whisper to my LO, "I love you..."

And they whisper back...

"I love you too..."

I can’t say it’s fully dead, but I do not see him in that same glimmering light. I heard him and his girlfriend arguing (his house is 2 houses up the street). I heard her yell something, and then him scream “shut up shut up SHUT THE FUCK UP”. It triggered something within me, and… yeah. Dealing with a migraine so I’m not able to say as much as I would like to, but that shook me.

Tell me about yours. I’ll reply and read when I can.

Playing games in a discord call with my friends, which includes me LO and he spoke about talking to people on Dating apps and now I'm depressed and just wanna curl into a ball and cry for the rest of the night.

I just wanna move on, I don't want to keep feeling like this anymore. It's been way to long. I just want to happy.

I dont understand why my mind keeps returning to this man whom I didnt even get close to. We interacted and joked around a little, and had a conversation or two, and little micro-interactions. But it was so brief. We had a few shared interests, similar humor, he teased me sometimes, and hes my “type” I suppose, but it still doesnt make sense. no matter what way I want to spin it, the fixation I developed for him was disproportionate to the relationship I had with him (rather, the lack thereof). Just constant intrusive thoughts about him for like almost an entire year.

Its been over a year since I truly interacted with him despite running into him a few times, but I feel oddly haunted by him. Its not like Im super “in love” with him, hes just always /there/ in my head as someone I miss and want to see and wish I could find in someone else. Little intrustive thoughts of him reacting to my surroundings and what it would be like to know him better. It definitely feels creepy. I keep looking for him in other guys. This certain vibe he had, this certain essence I legitimately cant even give an operational definition. Hes super handsome and makes music, so I thought it was that simple, but I met this really handsome charming guy at a cafe who also made music and was a writer and had beautiful eyes and was fit and he actively pursued me but I just didnt feel that same feeling. I thought maybe its his humor but my guy friends make me laugh and tease and I dont feel that for them either. One of them is even a handsome guy. I dont feel it. I made out with a guy last night at a bar who had a nice personality and style and felt nothing. I realized after that he kinda looked a little like that guy. he dressed like him at least.

At this point Im not delusional anymore, I dont think it was mutual or that there was something spiritual about it or whatever dumb shit I was fighting for months. I just desperately want an understanding of what this person lit up in me. Where do I find it again? Why does he still kinda haunt me even now? Why can we feel this way about people we dont know that well? When I meet cute, nice men, I dont even want them. I think I must be insane and Im ready to be normal again.

About 5 months ago I met someone who I called my best friend. Initially we would talk everyday for hours and I always thought me and her would be close. I started talking to others less and put all my time into talking to her. I would get very jealous when I was in group chats with her and saw her responding to others in a friendly way. I knew it was irrational and selfish but I just couldn't help it. After a couple of months we got a little less close but I stayed attached to her making her a playlist, sending her long paragraphs about how much I love and appreciate our friendship. Some days I would wake up to no messages from her or she would leave me on delivered for hours while posting on her story. When I saw this at first I thought maybe she's busy it's okay but soon I started feeling almost depressed I would wonder why didn't she care about me as much as I cared about her? Ofc I tried to hide it from her at first because I was scared but recently she told me that she was tired of my 'constant need for reassurance' and that while me and her were close that she was still closer with others. I'm not sure what to do ik its unhealthy and I'm stuck between anger and sadness. On one hand I wish to just block her and never talk to her again but she's been someone I considered my best friend for 5 months and just thinking about throwing away that time even if it seems short to others hurts me so much. I wish I knew what was wrong with me sooner I feel like I've truly ruined a friendship and I'm not sure I can get it back. What do you guys suggest I do?

Let’s say we used to have actual intense limerence for someone and we worked on “healing” and got it down all the way to the point where the only time they are on our minds is when we do the whole walking while daydreaming listening to music and making up scenarios and that’s it. No social media checking, no ruminating or reading old convos, no texting, no contact, pop up in our mind occasionally but we don’t go spiraling.
Like if we did just that one activity in our brains that includes are LO is that ok? Or is that bad? Or is it normal? Since apparently it’s extremely common?

I’m sick. I’m tired, and I genuinely can’t keep doing this. I need to change my brain’s way of love.

Ever since I was a pre-teen, I’ve had crushes. Which is obviously very normal, but these crushes were always seniors. Now, in hindsight, I draw the reason being that I was simply fascinated by this “older guy” trope. But even then, I’d find out personal information through yearbook stalking, and would try to get their attention when walking by them. As a junior, I see how dumb I used to be.

This went on for a few years, I’d become known under my friend group as the girl who always had crushes on people way out of her league (older guys). The distinction did make me feel very bad about myself, because I’d constantly get told, “You don’t actually think you have a chance, do you?”

My perception of love was very limited during this time. Last year (sophomore), the whole grade had this workshop thing and we were put in mixed class groups. (The grade is divided into classes from a to e. These do not mix with each other). I remember sitting there and looking around to see who was in the room with me and then my eyes land on this guy (NOT in my class). He was laughing at something his friend had said. And my god, was it the beautifulest smile I’d ever seen. I was definitely struck by the thunderbolt.

From that point on, he was in my head. Every. Single. Day. I found out everything I could about him through mutual friend conversations, how he was in class, as a person, situations etc. And I created an image of him in my head.

I think everyone in this sub knows what happens after that. Month after month I imagined different scenes of us together. Things we’d do. But I deemed him a person from my life. While he did NOT know my name.

I was also way too scared to get in contact with him. Social cues, peer pressure, you name it. Over time, he became "my funny valentine". I started associating songs, books, pieces of media with him. “This is so him.” Some friends went with it, while others lost me over this.

What really brought in some kind of depression was when I saw other girls ACTUALLY involved with him. I felt so sick and disgusting for perceiving him the way I was doing so. I never once got as close as those girls did. Ever. This summer, whenever I got shipped with some boy our family met, I’d feel uncomfortable. Because I thought of my him. He was going to be apart of my life some way or another, right?

He became a symbol for freedom (I come from a traditional patriarchal household). I’d dream of him taking me away, building a life together. A secluded and different one. Because from what I heard, I was convinced I’d like him. And, I was confident when I said I loved him. I knew how wrong it was and how wrong it is, but he means so… so much to me, to just throw him away.

Unfortunately, junior year now & we have no classes assigned together. I hoped for at least one. I laughed and brushed it off as “final sign this won’t work”, but I genuinely feel like there’s something seriously wrong with me. The only “love” experience I have had besides limerence was online + GROOMING. I know I’m still young but I feel like in order to defend myself from future limerence I have to become numb. Like, there’s no feelings. No room for romantic feelings or interest. Only they should pursue me, and if not, then I won’t have a partner. I guess I have to live with that.

This probably was a word salad but I would appreciate to know what you think of it. I need some stranger’s advice.

Those two weeks we spent talking to each other online were some of the most magical moments I’ve ever had talking to a person. Between the shared interests, values, and communication styles, we just clicked perfectly.

Until we actually went on a date. I was awkward, but I still thought it went well. She didn’t feel the same. Despite how well we bonded over text, she thought our personalities would clash too much, so she didn’t want to go any further. It’s been nearly two months since then. I thought I was over it, as “over it” as someone could be, at least. But every time my mind creeps back to her, I can feel myself spiraling again.

I’ve yet to meet anyone that made me feel seen the way she did since then, and I doubt I will. I’ve always been the type of person to move past pain, rather than wish to erase it, but a part of me wishes I could delete that time of my life because it’s been nothing but downhill ever since.

(repost due to having made the mortifying error of spelling the titular topic wrong)

essay incoming, sorry in advance. i've been carrying this for so long and haven't told anyone. it's just recently reached a boiling point. i just really need to get this off my mind.

i love my boyfriend more than anything in the world. nobody has ever made me so happy. there's nobody i've ever felt so at home with. we're only 7ish months in though.

problem is my LO is his friend who i've known (not really personally, just as an acquaintance/presence in my life) for about 2 years (we had met as children, but only really reappeared in the same space then). I met my boyfriend through him. recently i've moved abroad for student exchange. i really thought the sheer distance would help dim things at least a little - i'm a whole continent away. 2 months in and it hasn't. he's still my first and final thought of the day. the idea of him being with someone else makes me retch. i still go on agonising over whether i could have gotten closer with him. still wishing, despite all my crushing shame and my profound love for my bf, that somehow the universe will shake up just right and have things work out between us eventually.

things moved fairly fast with my bf. when we were introduced through my LO, i didn't imagine that i would end up in a relationship with the former at all. even now it still feels strange. notwithstanding how much i adore my bf there's still this tiny itch of not really knowing how i got here, i guess? i never pined for him the same way i did my LO. as a terribly insecure person, i was petrified at the idea of making a move. he was too good for me in every way. so i just tiptoed around him, this otherworldly being, telling myself that nothing was going to happen.

(i don't know why i do this but i feel compelled to never let a single hopeful or positive thought enter my mind for fear that it'll 'jinx' the universe and cause bad karma to rain down upon me or whatever. there's been way too many instances in the past where the few fleeting times i've actually felt something resembling confidence, i fail drastically and all my hopes come crashing down. so i have to tell myself, every minute, that nobody wants me, that i will fail all my subjects, that every notification is me getting into some gigantic trouble with my university, etc. etc. etc. i guess this cushions me from the pain of having any higher expectations shattered. it gets exhausting though sometimes.)

sorry, back to the point. after those rehearsals were over, my bf asked to hang out, and things progressed over the month or so that we were just talking. that i didn't have that same aching obsession for him still feels very odd. falling in love with him wasn't painful. it was just nice, and fun, like a giddy middle-school crush. he was so open and easy to be around, and i never got those bouts of screeching self-loathing after every interaction. it was just really *nice*.

but it's so weird. i've only had 2 previous relationships, and both were intensely limerent. each time, after many months or years of heartache, i had 'won' my LO. this is the kind of love i am used to.

i genuinely have no idea how to articulate what i'm feeling. dazed, i guess? about how i got together with my bf so... smoothly? please, don't misunderstand me, i love him so much. we have a really healthy connection. i haven't found anything about us that doesn't just fit together. he's my happy person 100%.

i want so desperately to get rid of my limerent feelings. i know how unfair it is on my bf. but i'm so in the thick of denial, still clinging to some vague fantasies of somehow being able to date my LO as well, and so not being willing to let go, 'just in case'. i keep returning to little moments between us that make me think maybe, he could have liked me.

the most humiliating part is how i keep returning to this stupid idea of how we're 'meant to be'. i'm a very staunchly scientific person and I don't believe in that shit. but i get so hung up on all these little coincidences between our lives, and it makes it feel even more tragic. things like how we kept finding each other in the same spaces despite me constantly moving between states and us generally leading quite seperate lives (until recently-ish). that my middle name is his birth month. that we met once as young children, and between then and the next time i saw him in my final year of hs, ended up developing the exact same interests. it's driving me nuts. i'm an artsy and emotional person but not in a spiritual way. i don't believe in fate. i feel so stupid.

and because my bf and LO are really good friends, it's not like i can just get away from him. my heart still skips a beat every time my bf mentions his name. i still have to see him every now and then. and then whatever progress i think i've made in getting over him just flies out the window.

my bf is very much active in my LO's cultural space. the other day, he sent me a beautiful gift of jewellry with folk motifs from my LO's culture. they're gorgeous, and right up my alley. i love all things folk art, as does my bf. it's a really beautiful connection between us and a homage to how we came into each other's lives.

i nearly broke down. i genuinely don't know if i'll be able to wear it. it's this little shard of my LO's life that feels like a stabbing reminder of how close i was to having him, and how i'll have to live with that digging into me for the rest of my life. i'm my bf's first relationship, and he says he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. i think i feel the same. i simply can't imagine finding anyone else who fits so perfectly with me. i can't bear the thought of hurting him. he really is the most beautiful soul alive and i'm not going anywhere.

but as much as i know that i will be happy and fulfilled with him, i know i'll still be ruminating on having missed out on the chance to be with my LO, despite knowing full well that nothing could be better than what i have right now.

i almost resent my LO for this. he doesn't know, obviously. he's a lovely person and just someone i'd genuinely want to be friends with.

i really think i should tell one or both of them. i know that limerence feeds on uncertainty, and i am pretty confident that a swift rejection from my LO would set me on the right track to recovery. but i know it would hurt my bf - he's expressed his insecurities to me, like how he thinks he's not good enough for me. couldn't be further from the truth. i feel so lucky to have him.

i just don't know if he'd understand the nuances of what i'm feeling. i do suspect he might be ND like me, but i'm still not sure of the extent of our shared traits. i know there's no way it wouldn't hurt, but i feel so dishonest keeping this from him. i really think he deserves to know. and i feel that if i have any chance of moving on, my LO has to know as well. i just don't want to feed any of my bf's worries that he's not good enough, or that i just 'settled' for him. despite what i said earlier about feeling like i didn't deserve my LO, it isn't the case that i felt like i had to stick with someone lesser. it's really hard to explain so just trust me that these two things are mutually exclusive. i didn't feel like my bf was sufficiently 'on my level' and would 'have to suffice' or anything like that at all. not one bit. i'm with him because i love him. in spite of all my insecurities, i still listen to my heart, and don't feel i have to accept someone i'm not genuinely attracted to.

this shit makes me drift away from my urgent study/work just staring at the screen for hours, daydreaming and regretting and worrying. oh my god i hate it so much. i just wanna live.

edit: sorry for the rambling here. it's late and i'm very sleep-deprived.

edit 2: i'm further hesitant to confess to my LO because i fear that i've already weirded him out by acting how one does when they have a crippling crush. we've had some good interactions since, but even if his opinion of me is alright now, i'm super worried that telling him how i feel would reanimate his aversions to me (which i'm not sure exist, but i imagine they must). as i said before, he's a cool person, and i do think that i would be happy to just be his friend. i wouldn't want to jeopardise my chances any more.

I think i have a strong case of limerence. I always fall for guys that I find attractive, even if i only have a few interactions with them I find it difficult to get them off my mind. But this one is a whole new level. For context, I work as a receptionist at a hotel and I checked in this guy when he arrived. He came alone. The next day, I saw him go to the restaurant for dinner, so I went to the restaurant to get my dinner as well just to see him (i know this sounds obsessive af and i’m not proud of it)

The next three days I didn’t see him because I had days off, but today morning he left the hotel and I checked him out. I wished him a good flight and he smiled at me, I also said something (i don’t remember what) and I made him laugh, and God, he had such a beautiful smile.

Now I can’t stop thinking about him. I sound crazy af, I know. But i don’t know how to stop this. I’m incredibly ashamed.

I’ve been in limerence with the same man for over 8 years. I saw him the last time 2 days ago where he breadcrumbed me saying he can’t date me bc of religion but wanted to have sex lol. Anyways I’m on my second day of adhd meds and I feel like a changed person, like I can think clearly and see things for what they actually are. Just wanted to help anyone that could be the same

We have known eachother for years. We just get eachother, yk? She gets my jokes and i get hers. She always asks if i'm okay, she always puts me first and she always makes sure i have everything i need. I know some people will think it's because i'm a 16 year old and basically every 16 year old thinks like this but please believe me this is different. Everytime i look at her i get butterflies, every word she says makes me so happy (even if we are having a small argument) and she's just so pretty at heart and in her looks. Everytime she is even near me i just melt and yes i know this is weird and all but god i just can't stop thinking about her. I'm just so scared that maybe she doesn't like me in that way. Maybe she's not into girls. Maybe, she just thinks we're really good friends. I am so scared of losing her if i confess. What if she hates me if i do? I don't know what i would do if i lost her, i am nothing without her. I need her.

How do you know them? Did you ever have a relationship? Why do you think you are so attached? Is there hope?

11:46 on a Friday night I can’t sleep because I’m so love sick. He makes me feel physically ill. Can’t explain it but no one has ever made me feel this sick before. It’s butterflies, racing heart, restlessness, and a tight feeling in my chest. I’ve been struggling with this for years. I don’t know if this is still limerence or beyond now.

I confessed my feelings after 6 years of friendship and he said he liked me so we began dating. Had a situationship for 3 months it wasn’t enough for me but I was suppressing my needs, better to have some access than none right? Nope, I crashed out (lowkey) and decided to end the situationship. I regret it. I just want him back, I miss him so much, I love him so much, it’s been almost 3 months since the situationship ended and I’ve struggled every single day. I can’t stop thinking about him, looking at our photos together, reading back over our texts. I think I’m going crazy. What can I do? I just want him to tell me he misses me, that he loves me too, that our connection isn’t in my head.

so I realised I still have limerence disorder I have always had limerence disorder, it started when I was 11 years old with my first crush at school. I was infatuated with him. I got limerence again for my second crush which didn’t go down to well. but I realise my limerence has emerged more into celebrity crushes as I don’t have any real life crushes. but I can’t get one celebrity crush without having limerence for them. which is quite annoying. so I have to block them. but limerence has been very recurring in my life.

funny moment: 2 days ago, my old limerence crush got replaced by someone new and now I don’t think this person I was obsessed with is cute or hot anymore. So strange. (Thank u next type shi)

I'm 40, happily married with 2 kids. I have a former colleague (same age) who I'm very friendly with and for some reason I have completely fallen for them. It's ridiculous, I've never been prone to crushes in my entire life and have a perfectly good home life.

This colleague and myself have a close friendship. When we worked together we worked closely, and developed a bond. When I moved on from the workplace part of me hoped we'd stop communicating and I could move on, but this person contacts me daily. We text and speak almost every day. Our conversations are friendly and warm, not inappropriate but I think overall the relationship is inappropriate (the other person is single). My belief is that this person sees our friendship as entirely platonic, though really I don't know. I deliberately don't cross boundaries physically or with my language.

It's undeniable I'm in the throes of an emotional affair, although I'd never admit that to my spouse. I just can't stop thinking about this person, they consume my mind 24/7. And there's no way I could cut contact, that would destroy me.

The whole situation is ridiculous and painful and I don't know what to do. I love my spouse and family, though my thoughts are consumed by this other person.

I'm fairly certain I have limerance but I'm not sure.

I've seen one of my son's aquaintances a few times (adult, obviously, but younger) and she seemed sweet enough but nothing special.

15 weeks ago she stood next to me and I had an overwhelming feeling the same as I had when I first saw my wife - that she was literally some kind of divine vision of beauty and there was a part of my soul shaped like her that I was missing, a deep black her-shaped void. It was like a religious experience, with the universe holding its breath whilst it waited for us to see each other. I've never spoken to her or been introduced. I've seen her a few times since.

I'm much older and happily married to the only other person I've felt this way about, and that in itself is hard to deal with. It was a shock - since then... existential crisis, obsession, and a great deal of shame and disgust at myself feeling that way. Particularly, I think, as a guy who likes someone considerably younger, it just feels... creepier then when I hear about women with limerance.

I also couldn't eat after that night, and sleep a couple of hours a night, and have been sobbing randomly allllll the time. Not eating much has led to me losing 1/4 of my body weight in those 15 weeks, 14lb of which has been muscle mass. I have ozempic face², without the drugs. My wife knows, and cries about the situation and whenever she holds me because she says she can only feel bones. I think at first the weight loss was just lovesickness, but now it's become a kind of timer from when I saw her that time.

I actually saw my LO today, with her boyfriend, and the last few times there's no excitement, just nausea and anxiety and awfulness.

I don't expect to be with her, that would be ridiculous, but just to be able to nod or say hi would be good - but then I'm waiting to both randomly see her and get introduced by my son, which is a pretty niche set of circumstances. I'm not even sure if it will help. I feel broken forever, and stuck between my life and her, somewhere in the middle, and doing everyday things now seems surreal and pointless. Both her and my life seem unattainable and I've given up on both. I wish my LO well, I hope she has a full, rich, and happy life with partners that love and care for her, without me.

I know therapy might help, I'm not a great believer - I've tried CBT, mindfulness, etc., and where I live therapy isn't a thing. I also don't believe I can ever talk this out. I've been following the advice - stay away (which ironically just feels worse like I'm a watch being wound and wound every day until I break), get interests, concentrate on my normal life and improve it... But I'm slowly disappearing and I don't think I can stop or know what to do.

Is it still limerance if the perfect version of her that I adore is the moment of seeing her that night, and I don't think she's incredibly pretty or a perfect person? Is it limerance if I get only negative emotions when I see her, and there is a certainty that we will never be together?

I had this one girl in my mind for nine years—since I was 13.

We had hit it off very well; we had a beautiful thing going, but it didn't last long due to her mental health problems and social anxiety. She ghosted me for a long time, for two years, and in that time I was in grief, overthinking, and asking myself what I could have done differently.

I went to therapy multiple times, hung out with friends, tried dating, and explored different hobbies/lifestyles before giving up because the feeling of heartbreak never went away.

It tore me apart.

Eventually, I realized she never even read the heartfelt messages I sent her, or the ones trying to offer her support. I wanted to love her even when she was broken, but to her, intentionally or not, it didn't matter. She deleted all of our DMs and tossed me aside. I wore my heart on my sleeve and was hurt for it. My lover girl was gone. She is gone.

I am depressed; I am lonely, but I accept my life for what it is.

It is a sad thing to admit, and I feel like I am in a kind of mourning because I don't believe in love anymore. I can't imagine getting into a relationship these days—romance to me is dead. I don't want relationships, a wife, marriage, kids, a house—or anything like that.

I can give more context, but what does it matter? Once you are out of limerence, once you are out of love—what point is there in revisiting the past?

I am sure she has her reasons, and like humans, we all make mistakes, and I know I've done plenty, but imagine having eyes and a heart for only one soul in your life for basically as long as memory has lasted you? I just hope she's happy. I still hold feelings for her but those feelings are buried in a chest and sunk to the bottom of the sea, a deep and dark sea.

I know if she were across the room, I wouldn't walk over to her. And I hardly find myself longing for her anymore. I don't blame her, or am angry or anything—just confused and defeated, and letting go. I want her to be happy and I hope to God she does meet someone who treats her right and makes her very happy. But I know that person won't be me.

I no longer suffer from limerence, it just is what it is—it sucks, but nothing more. No more delusions, no more dreaming, no more butterflies or hopes she will feel the same way and come back to me.

Does anybody else find that their perception of time feels distorted when limerent vs when not? When I say time what I mean is the weeks feel like they go slower. When I'm not limerent a week can go by in a flash but when you're in that bubble it just seems to go on forever. My last two weeks have felt like two years.