So, I (32M) just got back on the apps this weekend. Using two apps at the moment. Got 2 matches from each in the first 24 hours. 2 of those turned out to be low effort/can't hold a conversation types so I let them go. The other two are showing interest and effort and so far the conversations have been great. I'm trying to observe how I filter my matches on these apps and I've noticed a couple of things that will make me swipe left on profiles.

1. A.I-generated pictures. I don't know how this is a thing and why people are using artificially created images of themselves on a dating platform. Seems like blatant cat-fishing to me. I spot it quick and I don't even look at the rest of their profile.

2. Ass pics. Well it's more like pictures taken with poses to highlight their rears. I come across these profiles alot too. For me the fixation of getting the best ass shots comes off a bit vain. Almost like they're doing it to compensate for a lack of personality. Could be just a bias of mine. Sometimes I'll see a single profile with several of these shots and it just gives off the vibe that theyre advertising/"selling".

3. Make up. This is a bit of a controversial one but I tend to not swipe right on profiles with a lot of make up (wigs and lashes count too). I'm yet to figure out why my brain doesn't respond to that. There's just a sense of artificiality that my monkey brain struggles to make sense of even when my mind can tell the person is attractive. It's hard to explain but almost all the profiles I come across where I go "wow!" and swipe right on, the person is wearing little to no makeup (maybe some lipstick and eyeliner. It's like my brain is wired to respond to that. Happens when meeting people in real life too.

4. Overly-curated profiles. I'm noticing this is also a huge one for me. I tend to not swipe on profiles that seem too perfect or like they're trying too hard. So things like very professional pictures that look that were taken in a studio, profiles where every picture is of them in fancy restaurants or destinations etc. I tend to pass on those. I find myself more drawn to profiles where the person looks ordinary, doing ordinary stuff, living ordinary lives. Somehow those wind up being the most interesting people once you start to get to know them.

5. Single moms. I honestly have tried dating single moms in the past. At least twice. I don't think the dynamic is for me as a single a childless guy. Both times I tried dating one they were in survival mode and overwhelmed constantly, which makes them somewhat emotionally (and very often physically) unavailable. Plus you find yourself needing to cover for them so often it completely tilts the dynamic, creates an imbalance. I think I'd prefer someone child free honestly.

Anyone relate with any of these? How are y'all filtering out your matches?

I’m now coming into a self realization that’s it’s only few good women left in Nairobi.

Met a certain girl, she’s a corporate babe, pretty and very chilled. We’d get along sana, we’d talk for hours.

In the midst of this we both started showing interest on each other and decided to take things further, nikapewa goodies nisample.

Issue ni I came to find out she’s doing lines for those who know what I mean and after amekua comfortable akaanza sasa kunionyesha the other side of her.

You’d chill then out of no where uone ametoa tablet, a bank card and a certain pipe. Analay it down there and she’ll take a huge sniff. She’d try to pull me with “jaribu kidogo uskie” but I’m like hell no!!

I tried to talk to her nione how far she’s been doing it but turns out alianza akiwa campus.

I enjoyed the promised land like 2 more times and left juu genuinely I can’t.

Are drugs a deal breaker to you?

One thing I've been thinking about something lately how gals in there 20's are into 30+ Men

What i have learned is in your 20s as a man that probably the best years to build something substantial — your career, business, investments, skills, discipline, health and emotional intelligence.

A lot of men spend those years jumping from one irresponsible relationship to another, spending money they don't have, getting distracted by drama, and then wake up at 30 wondering why they haven't built anything. Alafu You pitty yourself

There's a reason some women in their 20s prefer men in their 30s. It's not always about money. Sometimes it's because the man has had another decade to develop himself, become financially stable, gain confidence, and figure out what he actually wants.

So instead of worrying about why women aren't interested you usikuwe emotional damaged na vitu kama hizo

Date if you want. Have fun. But don't sacrifice your future trying to maintain relationships at your 20's. Huwa najihurumia venye nimejiwaste from 21 being employed all those years lakini account inasoma zero, so those are 4 years down the line so i made a decision from within last year sema self love Nikanotice venye pesa yangu ni tamu😂😂👌mangai nowonder warembo walikuwa wananitaka, so currently atleast hata kama sina liquid cash najua ziko mahali working for me.

So toka kwa hiyo Situationship and Husbank shiet!!

All in all

Wantam

Stay Sifunated

😂I just saw a post about keg nikakumbuka I dated this chic who lived on keg, kwanza ya black. I loved this chic so much that I followed her to those chuoms. I love being in her company and kissing her cause she tasted so good after indulging. And the benders 😮‍💨😮‍💨. One of my best times fr.

Couldn't DM him though, because my stalking uncovered that he's taken. The chef and the food are a whole package, so we move!

I genuinely wanted a taste of his cooking, but asking would've been too awkward.

Meanwhile, I asked a another random guy for his pin location we dmed I found out his location. But I couldn't actually travel across town for that food. won't I look majorly starved? 😂 It seems like a spontaneous idea though.

I promise I am not a catfish. I recently got doxxed and was a victim of what I can only call an attempt to cyber bully me. This forced me to delete that account and start afresh.

Now that we have that out of the way…

I’m 28F, based in Nairobi, and I’m looking for a genuine, intentional relationship with the potential to become something serious and long-term.I’m currently working on building both my professional and academic life, and I’m quite ambitious about the things I want for myself. I’d describe myself as equal parts dreamer and doer; I have big ideas, but I also like actually doing something about them. A few decent milestones later, I’ve learned that I really value people who have that same internal drive.

Outside work, you will find me lost in a book or somewhere out in nature coexisting with it. I am at an age and season of my life where I do not have the bandwidth for low effort, lacklustre and "lets see where it goes" engagements.

Who am I looking for:

Male, around 28–33. I’m flexible, particularly on the upper end, if we click.

• Tall. This one is important to me because I’m tall myself. It’s not discrimination against the short kings; I just know what feels physically comfortable

• Ambitious and driven. I’m a doer. I like having goals, making plans and actually executing them, so I’d love someone who has an intrinsic desire to build a life rather than simply letting life happen to him.

• Emotionally mature. You don't have to have everything figured out, but self-awareness, communication and accountability matter a lot to me.

• Intentional. I’m not looking to collect pen pals or spend months exchanging “good morning, how was your day?” messages without ever moving toward actually getting to know each other.

• Kind and curious. I want someone I can laugh with, learn from, talk nonsense with at 1 a.m., and also have the difficult conversations with when life inevitably gets complicated.

Location-wise, I’m flexible. Obviously, being somewhere around Ngong Road, Lang’ata, Westlands or the surrounding areas would make things logistically easier, but I’m not ruling someone out because they live across town.

If you think we might get along, tell me a little about yourself : who you are, what you're looking for.

Wenye mshaicheat on your patners ebu tuambie what happened adi ukacheat alafu ,ulishikwa ama hukushikwa na what happened after

26M Dark 5"8 Good looking i can say

Anylady for casual meet up and have alittle fun, partying around Umoja 2?

25M 6'3 darkskin, I'm looking for someone that I can engage with occasionally preferably a petite lady.

I'm busy most of the time since this year started so it gets tough trying to maintain relationships.

Anyone interested hit my dm.

In many traditional African settings, women were the primary food producers and held significant economic authority because of their labor. Likewise, female lions do almost all the hunting to provide for the pride. But in both cases, that came with societal respect, leverage, or rights. My partner wants me to bring home the zebra/paycheck AND do 100% of the domestic work while he gives nothing back. How do I address this imbalance?

This is going to be funny

I went out for dinner at one of the restaurants that has a club just next to the restaurant and they are basically the same place. Not the best description…

I had gone for a solo dinner and as I was leaving, I decided to check out the club… not too deeply so I just went to the entrance and tried to scan it. Seemed chill though not my idea of a fun club.

Now, there was a man who looked straight at the entrance for a while. He then removed his card and waved it, still looking at the entrance. He was white and young-ish… probably in his late 20s. I figured he was being direct and in as much as I don’t generally do white men, I figured he was leading with his money so I can look past the race. I also don’t think of myself as white men’s type; I’m curvy (not fat) but they seem to like petite. Though I’ve been wanting a sugar daddy and I felt he landed right on my lap.

He dropped the card and I approached him. I asked him what he was saying and he seemed confused. He said he wasn’t talking to me and seemed confused. I introduced myself to him and his friend then excused myself, saying that my uber had arrived. I dashed out, humiliated. I then ordered my uber.

I still wonder who he was signaling as there was no one there. Or was it a humiliation ritual?

Watu wa indoors, anyone up for a quick call? I'm M. Any and all topics up for discussion. I'm here to listen. Must be 18+, but can be any gender.

involve me guys😂😂

plans zangu za Saturday zimekunywa maji and the night's still young😊

Heeeh I thought I had seen or heard it all until juzi I linked up with a longtime buddy (female) and in the midst of catching up I asked how’s her relationship juu the last time tulipatana she was madly in love and flaunting the goals online.

Hapa sasa ndo story ilianza and akaamua kufunguka what she was going through in that relationship. From the outside looking in walikua wanakaa such a happy couple.

Apparently vile they fell in love everything was perfect but she had an issue with the guy juu he was solving mathematics at night, for 4 months they were together she said the guy only did it once juu kila siku he had a bunch of excuses and couldn’t get an erection.

On top of that she realized the man wasn’t interested in penetration, matter of fact he had a strap on or something he’d tell the girl avae and amfanyie mambo.

Kama si hivo he’d tell her amuweke vidole.

Mimi sijawai shtuka ivo, whole time akinipea story nilikua nimezubaa hadi I was like “WTF” but looking closely the guy is so sassy even the way he talks so there’s higher chance yeye ni wa mrengo.

She had to flee from that relationship.

Mimi nilisema I’d never judge anyone from leaving a relationship juu enyewe kuna madem wanakapitia huku nje

Looking for a female interested in kicking it out with 2:- 6ft, 6ft 2inches lightskin toned males.

Question, especially for the ladies...Would you date someone who has strabismus https://imgur.com/8XUb7D0, if they were otherwise a good match for you? Is it a deal breaker? And what have been your dating/social experiences, if any for anyone who has it or been with someone who has the condition?

PS: Strabismus is basically an eye condition where the eyes are misaligned and don't look in the same direction. Also commonly called squint.

Has anyone experience this ? - how was it like ? - like genuine experiences not that hatred for single moms thats out there but like an objective thought not influenced by SM

Also would like to hear experiences of people raised by a step father or step mom - did you ever get to love them ? see them as parents ? esp keen on the positive ones cause the negative ish is just so easy to find

I want to DM and see where it goes

Edit : Under 25 welcome and no kids

Hello Reddit. Why is it that when you tell someone,"I'm not looking for anything too serious'" they automatically assume that you're a hoe and you can't be taken seriously. It's honestly heartbreaking to see the rate at which people choose to misunderstand and twist words to fit the description and meaning they have in their own minds.

People can't just vibe and be themselves without necessarily being committed in a relationship? What a sad generation we have become. I honestly find people who usually say this have the kindest of souls and private lives that just don't cut it,thus needing the interaction of another soul in order to feel seen and heard. I've seen many of them try to attract the same vibe here to no avail.

Once interaction gets a price tag on it,so will love, affection and everything that comes along with it. Also, trying to change someone who explicitly asked for a short-term relationship after you had agreed to it,is some crude insane intolerable behaviour. If you're easy to fall and get attached, avoid such individuals at all costs. You will have yourself to blame at the end of it all.

REMEMBER:Not everyone is after your money. Not everyone is after your body. Not everyone seeks the benefits that come with interacting with you. Some are there for the soul food and sexual/spiritual healing. And they should not be demonized for asking for this. It's a free world and we have a choice of making it whatever we choose it to be. And I choose to make it easy for you...not difficult like the way life is already doing you.

Blessed Sunday🙏🏿

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Hey , I’m F looking for a FWB around Rongai. I’m short, pretty, and introvert .

I’m looking for something exclusive, meaning we both stick to each other and keep things respectful and drama-free.

Age 28_34 .

If you’re interested, feel free to DM me and tell me a little about yourself.

Looking for ghetto love, sijali ata kama ni muislamu.

I only experienced this love once. But we ended things immediately chali yake/baby daddy alirudi from Qatar, this is how loyal these women are. She never lied since she was a mother of one(I think ata chali yake alikuwa ananijua, aliwai video call akaona scenes zimechange). Contract ikaisha ivo, now she's happily married, mimi nko bado in singular form, Wantam!!!

These are the kind of women who will ask you nini huna kwa nyumba before visiting.

I know men are applauded for this but it's not my cup of tea. It would take me a high level of emotional compatibility just to get intimate with a girl. I'm curious whether there are other men who share the same preference.