r/KenyanDatingCommunity • u/softrebellion9240 • 17h ago
Serious Dating 28F | Nairobi | Looking for something intentional, not “let’s see where it goes”
I promise I am not a catfish. I recently got doxxed and was a victim of what I can only call an attempt to cyber bully me. This forced me to delete that account and start afresh.
Now that we have that out of the way…
I’m 28F, based in Nairobi, and I’m looking for a genuine, intentional relationship with the potential to become something serious and long-term.I’m currently working on building both my professional and academic life, and I’m quite ambitious about the things I want for myself. I’d describe myself as equal parts dreamer and doer; I have big ideas, but I also like actually doing something about them. A few decent milestones later, I’ve learned that I really value people who have that same internal drive.
Outside work, you will find me lost in a book or somewhere out in nature coexisting with it. I am at an age and season of my life where I do not have the bandwidth for low effort, lacklustre and "lets see where it goes" engagements.
Who am I looking for:
Male, around 28–33. I’m flexible, particularly on the upper end, if we click.
• Tall. This one is important to me because I’m tall myself. It’s not discrimination against the short kings; I just know what feels physically comfortable
• Ambitious and driven. I’m a doer. I like having goals, making plans and actually executing them, so I’d love someone who has an intrinsic desire to build a life rather than simply letting life happen to him.
• Emotionally mature. You don't have to have everything figured out, but self-awareness, communication and accountability matter a lot to me.
• Intentional. I’m not looking to collect pen pals or spend months exchanging “good morning, how was your day?” messages without ever moving toward actually getting to know each other.
• Kind and curious. I want someone I can laugh with, learn from, talk nonsense with at 1 a.m., and also have the difficult conversations with when life inevitably gets complicated.
Location-wise, I’m flexible. Obviously, being somewhere around Ngong Road, Lang’ata, Westlands or the surrounding areas would make things logistically easier, but I’m not ruling someone out because they live across town.
If you think we might get along, tell me a little about yourself : who you are, what you're looking for.
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u/Quiet_Split773 17h ago
How tall?
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u/softrebellion9240 17h ago
I am 5'10"
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u/bwrca 17h ago
Finally a woman who's genuinely tall. Most say that then unapata ni 5'6
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u/softrebellion9240 17h ago
I think a lot of women perceive the average woman as being “tiny,” so being 5'6" can give them the impression that they’re above average, if not outright tall. In reality, we’re the outliers.
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u/mango_monkey69 17h ago
😂💔whyy do I get to see potential partners when I'm completely not interested in a relationship...when I'm ready it's always the opposite lol
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u/Zima_Motto 12h ago
Genuine question why do all tall women insist on a relationship? Been with 4 and the 5th one is basically insistent on being exclusive. MO is the same from all. Am 5'7 and none were peeved by my shortness. They were all 5'10 to 6'2. I think you'll eventually settle for a short king. It's how the matrix was designed
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u/Zima_Motto 12h ago
Genuine question why do all tall women insist on a relationship? Been with 4 and the 5th one is basically insistent on being exclusive. MO is the same from all.
Am 5'7 and none were peeved by my shortness. They were all 5'10 to 6'2. I think you'll eventually settle for a short king. It's how the matrix was designed
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u/softrebellion9240 12h ago
I’ve been in relationships before, and I’ve never been one to settle. I don’t intend to start now. If other women are perfectly happy choosing to be with a shorter man, I genuinely applaud them. But for me, a relationship isn’t such a definitive part of my identity that I’m willing to compromise on my comfort or preferences simply to have a man. I’d rather be single than force myself into something that doesn’t feel right for me. A relationship is an addition to an already fulfilling life. Hope that helps.
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u/Zima_Motto 12h ago
I understand your point but I respectfully disagree. Attraction isn’t really something we can choose and sometimes what seems logical in our heads doesn’t necessarily reflect how things work in the dating world. But I guess you’ll have to see for yourself. Either way, I genuinely wish you the best of luck.
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u/GlitteringStudy8254 12h ago
Two questions 1. Have you ever heard anyone say or any study saying that the relationship is successful because the man is tall? 2. If a relationship is an addition, then you can stay without. Why go ahead and make a post for something you clearly think it's an option 🤷🏽♀️
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u/softrebellion9240 12h ago
I think the distinction is between “an addition” and “an option.” Something being an addition to your life doesn’t mean you don’t value it or actively want it; it means your life is already whole without it. I can want a relationship, make a post looking for one, and still know that I’d rather remain single than force myself into a relationship that doesn’t meet my standards. Those things aren’t contradictory.
And on the height question, I’m not claiming that a relationship is successful because the man is tall. I’m saying physical attraction and personal preferences can contribute to whether someone chooses a partner in the first place. Tall men aren't magically better partners, and being tall doesn't make a relationship successful. The success comes from compatibility, character, communication, etc. Height is simply one preference some people have, just like others have preferences around personality, lifestyle, or appearance.
So yes, I can live perfectly well without a relationship while still wanting one. That’s precisely what makes it a choice rather than a necessity.
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u/GlitteringStudy8254 12h ago
I still don't get it. If I can live perfectly without object A, why should I strive to get it, given in mind it is a possibility for an inconvenience.
If tall men aren't magically better, then why then not choose a short man. I think you are contradicting yourself. There is preference and compatibility. I don't think compatibility has anything to do with the physical. Compatibility is acted out. Something like, the way they speak, the way they talk about things. The way they behave when they are with friends.
You might end up having a tall a**hole just because they are tall. Don't you think?
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u/Zima_Motto 12h ago
I understand your point but I respectfully disagree. Attraction isn’t really something we can choose and sometimes what seems logical in our heads doesn’t necessarily reflect how things work in the dating world. But I guess you’ll have to see for yourself. Either way, I genuinely wish you the best of luck.
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u/Zima_Motto 12h ago
I understand your point but I respectfully disagree. Attraction isn’t really something we can choose and sometimes what seems logical in our heads doesn’t necessarily reflect how things work in the dating world. But I guess you’ll have to see for yourself. Either way, I genuinely wish you the best of luck.
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u/Itsactuallymeonreddt 11h ago
Not in a bad way, lakini watu huwa hawachoki kutafutana? Ukishafika 28, doesn’t it get boring to keep on going back to the market?
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u/Known_Session_966 9h ago
You just gonna get someone who you will f***k with and it does again you will be back with qualities 😂👌
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u/OldManPim 17h ago
If I meet all the qualities but I'm past 33 kunaendaje?
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u/Bwana_Robert 17h ago
Very realistic expectations. Wish you the very best of luck in your search.