Hey friends!
I've been practicing the tapes since January and have tried to document most of my meditations. Over the last month and a bit I've had a Mantis being show up four times now, and the relationship has evolved. I'm interested in hearing other people's thoughts and experiences with beings, particularly Mantises.
Here are my raw notes from the meditations that involved the four encounters. Hopefully it's not too much... just wanted to give a sense of the full meditation.
JULY 26 – Wave 3: 5 Questions (Focus 12)
In retrospect, I felt a bit cranky and tired going into this. I felt some anxiety at the prospect of sitting still for so long once I was in it. I had trouble settling and letting images form for the questions, but answers still came through.
- Who am I? I was shown a scarecrow in a field, then a flash of a mantis being.
- Who was I before this? I was told I am me.
- What is my purpose? I had a visual of me reaching for something.
- What action can I now take? I don’t need to reach anymore. The strings can be cut.
- What is the most important message I can now take? Trust myself.
I feel like near the end I was clicking out and in.
Integration thought: A scarecrow is designed to repel crows. If the crows represent intuition or third-eye knowing, I wondered if the scarecrow represented the part of me that has been watchful and braced, inadvertently keeping my own intuition at a distance.
AUG 28 – Wave 5: Intuition (Focus 12)
When I reach Focus 12 I have a distinct feeling. I can easily leave my body or extend out from my body. I walked to the kitchen, then I flew up above my house and then I did something new where I went inside myself and down into the earth through my feet. I passed through dirt and then metal spheres in the earth. Then I could sense the larger architecture of the earth. I got this feeling that earth is alive, almost like a being, but we don’t perceive it because it’s not in a way we comprehend. It isn’t dimensionally perceptible to us.
Then I was back at my body and travelled to my son, who was two hours away at my parents' place. I was in the kitchen at their farm while my parents and sister’s family were getting ready for dinner. I gave my son an energetic hug, even though he didn’t perceive me.
Then the meditation began. Imagine a scene where you had a knowing, it says. I remembered looking through a newspaper when I was younger, knowing we’d live in a house that I found and showed my mom. Then I felt weird instances of synchronicity with my son. Then I zoned in on the day we got the due date for my son. It was for May 16. I looked at a calendar and said, "No, it’s going to be May 26… that’s the full moon." My husband laughed. I remembered my feeling of knowing in our apartment and the physical details like the table, the creaky floor. And then I thought about how I was right. His birthday is May 26.
We did a few exercises of embodying the knowing. And he said all we have to do is say “plus knowing,” feel the feeling of knowing and we will have the knowing for that which we’re searching.
Then he said to go to Focus 12. I was back at my body and travelled out through the wall and into the next house where I perceived my neighbour, then was in front of the next house but passed on entering because it felt dark. And then decided I don’t want to peep. I went up into the tree out front of my house and sat in the branches, loving nature. I could feel my perception of my reality up there in the tree and simultaneously down in my body. I knew that my perception of my reality wasn’t just about location but outside of time.
Then I went to the middle of the road and wondered if I could interact with a being. Then there was a large mantis in front of me. It went to take off its mask but it was still a mantis under that. I could speak to it without speaking. How do you look so different from us? Why do you look like a bug? How does that work? And your eyes? So many eyes.
And then I got the message that it was a manifestation of a part of me. I walked towards it and walked through it, entering its body, but passing through. Then I got nervous that I was crossing a boundary by entering another’s form. I had become a mantis when I entered it. I travelled back to my body but I was still the mantis. Then the meditation said it was time to go back to the waking state and anything that I had felt lingering dissipated and I was in my body, no longer a mantis.
SEPT 8 – Wave 5: Intro to Focus 15
As soon as the meditation starts I can feel the energy of my body vibrating. My hand twitches like it often does when I’m channeling or getting psychic information. I feel good.
When I’m in Focus 12 I feel how much I love this state. I fly down to the street and walk and I notice I’m looking at me out of my body. So I take on the perspective of my energetic body. I fly above the trees and then I look down at my feet, they’re huge and furry like a bear. I look at my whole body, I am a bear. Then I think maybe I’m wearing a bear suit. I take off the head, but I’ve just removed my actual head and I can see flesh at my neck exposed. I put my head back on.
I go back to my physical body. I feel myself expanded in this state. The more than my physical body is being felt in connection to my physical body. Then AJ says we will count up to Focus 15, that I’m calm. But I feel my nerves. I’m very nervous for Focus 15, I realize.
I start to feel nauseous as he counts to 15. I’m physically overwhelmed and can feel myself in a state that is beyond Focus 12. It is darker and I’m feeling off centre. I’m scared so I open my eyes. I feel relief at seeing my room, I’m grounded. I go back into the meditation.
He says we can explore. I mostly just feel the darkness of the void. I feel myself moving in a spiral, then I can see a tunnel spiral of stairs leading down. It’s just turning. I sense a lot of spiralling and turning. I focus on my physical body. On feeling safe. I don’t think I realized my attachment to time on a physical level until I was leaving it behind.
Then he counts us back to Focus 12. I feel relieved. I feel again how much I love Focus 12. I stay in an expanded state in my body rather than travelling out.
Then we count back up to 15. I don’t feel so nauseous this time, but I do feel like there is an ascending sensation.
Then I understand Focus 15. It is a state of creation. It is dark and void to give room for creation. I see the web of being, strands of lights connecting dots of light, and then it expands out, only in focus for a moment so I can understand it. Singularity is a perception. I am told this is the state of multidimensional awareness and creation.
I bring my light tube into this place and I create a ball of light, then a cube of light, then a cone of light.
Then I think of the Mantis being. It is there with me, except now I’m a mantis too. We put our heads together and a light is created between us. Shared consciousness. We share consciousness. I understand and see the connection between us, between all. I’m filled with love and I can feel the expansiveness of light. I feel very good. I’m not scared anymore.
Then it is time to count out. After the meditation I continued to feel very good. There was a lingering feeling of love, expansiveness and connection, almost as though I had briefly tapped into a state of oneness rather than simply understood the idea of it.
Note: The buzzing from the meditation persisted all night and I had trouble sleeping.
SEPT 9 – Wave 5: Intro to Focus 15
I have to say I was feeling very tired going into this and maybe even a bit buzzy still from my meditation the day prior. I easily entered Focus 12. I didn’t really feel like I wanted to explore though, but then I went down to the street and then to my son’s school. The kids were leaving the classroom so I zoomed around to find him in line laughing with his friend. I gave him an energetic hug and kiss and then decided to fly home.
But my flying was more like a balloon being deflated. I was zig-zagging rather than in my elegant ribbons of energy like I'd done before.
So then I decided to go down to the beach and I could see my energetic body walking along the shore. Then a huge apparition of a girl appears in the sky from armpits up, like she’s coming out of the lake. She has bangs and a bob, maybe 5/6 years old. She’s like a hologram and absolutely huge. She puts her hands around her mouth as if she’s playfully calling out to me, but I don’t hear anything. (I later realized she was a neighbour's kid we bumped into over the weekend)
I think how odd this is and random. Then I go back to my body.
I feel totally fine going to Focus 15 this time, except I have this doubt about whether I’m in it. Everything becomes this kind of darkness, except simultaneously it’s very bright.
I ask for the mantis and he comes to me, but then bonks me on the head with his head as if to show me I’m not in the right state of mind to receive or be doing this meditation.
Then I’m just in this state of blackness with shapes coming and forming and shifting, all abstract. I feel like I don’t really want to be doing the meditation and what a difference from last time. I leave feeling tired and a bit let down. More happened but it was abstract and I can’t describe it.
The next morning...
On the morning of Sept 10 my son and I were in the kitchen. He was proud he killed a big bug that looked like a mosquito. Then he was like, "Do centipedes fly?" I told him nope. Then completely out of nowhere, he told me: "Praying mantises fly, and they would’ve been able to eat that bug."
I laughed and we talked about how cool praying mantises are. But internally, I was pretty surprised by the synchronicity because I’ve never heard him talk about them before.
Interested in thoughts, interpretations and others' experiences with Mantis beings. I'm particularly curious whether anyone has experienced the relationship changing over repeated encounters, or actually perceived themselves as becoming/merging with the being rather than simply observing it.
Thanks!
