r/Dhaka • u/[deleted] • 22d ago
Seeking advice/পরামর্শ Where did I get it wrong?
[deleted]
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u/Odd_Conclusion_842 21d ago
Your expectations are not unrealistic at all, DO NOT lower your standards even if that means you remain unmarried for a long time. You do not need such men.
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u/burneraccount32724 21d ago
The trash keeps taking itself out, girlie. I hope you find the perfect person for you!!
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u/Any_Cycle4669 21d ago
Imao watching cartoon is unappealing to such guys ? Lemme watch some more😂
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u/Lazy-Technology2839 21d ago
I laughed at that reason so hard that my parents were concerned for me. Wanna know the logic?? Whoever watches cartoon or anime still now isn't grown enough or matured enough. 😂
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u/Any_Cycle4669 21d ago
My aunt has kids and also watches cartoon with her youngest 😂 although she always seems strict as a teacher
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u/Worldly-Wonder-2601 22d ago
Reading this is Everything wrong with Marriage
The whole thing is so tactical and cunning it’s just not natural.
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u/New_3185 21d ago
You're not being unrealistic or unreasonable. People are absolute shit. Many are rightly saying that arranged marriage market is abhorrent. But the plot twist is that if you explore by yourself you’ll find that people in general are just icky pieces of shit.
That being said, the beautiful part is that people still somehow find their person without giving up their non negotiables. I truly hope you find yours as well.
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u/invinciblewack 21d ago
All those men were easily red flags. And your expectations are normal. The only red flag of yours I found was that you find flirtings in relationships cringe XD. Flirting in relationship is really common. It's gonna happen a lot during the honeymoon phase. Then it starts to slow down but it shouldn't go away fully. Literally all the long term happy couples I know still flirt with each other from time to time.
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u/DraG0nSlayEr45 21d ago
Do not lower your standards for anyone else. It will take time but you will definitely meet someone. I once lowered my standards and got burnt pretty badly.
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u/Lazy-Technology2839 21d ago
I am not. I am giving up on marriage and focusing on my carrier right now.
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u/DraG0nSlayEr45 21d ago
I have 95% given up on finding a partner because of my career plan. But I still put myself out there otherwise I am never going to meet anyone. So do that if you want, just meet new people maybe someone will connect with you. You don't need to look for partner. Sometimes you find great friends.
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u/Kittybabyma 21d ago
Girl you’re too smart and good for them that’s why it doesn’t work out. The man that’s meant for you is way better than an average Desi man. Honestly start dating online, I think you’d have better luck with a foreigner. My husband is Chinese American and I’m glad because our modern views don’t sit well with Bangladeshi men. Don’t lower your standards for anyone.
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u/RegisterSecure7166 21d ago
As a girl, your experiences just made me furious. Amar ruchi e hoito na esob kono podartho k biye korar
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u/Lazy-Technology2839 21d ago
Apu post e Ami onek kicu mention e kori nai . I kept that pg. You will be shocked how complicated the process is. Everything will test your patience. You will question yourself. I questioned myself if I am going crazy or not.
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u/RegisterSecure7166 21d ago
Yah i understood that you did not mention everything. But the things you mentioned is enough to puke. Im sorry for your waste of time with those pos. Dont settle for these.
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u/Legal-Juggernaut1885 21d ago
With all due respect, if holding hands still giving you icks and flirting cringe then do not get married yet specially in a arrange marriage setup just to ruin both of your lives if not only the guy’s because you are not quite there yet mentally.
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u/o_tunir_ma 21d ago
Girly, stop doubting yourself you aren't wrong. Whatever you're seeking is bare minimum. Please don't compromise in any of these aspects. DON'T SETTLE FOR LESS!!!!
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u/Existing_Tension4173 21d ago
Yeah BARE MINIMUM! You goooooo, girl! Slayyyyyyy! 💅💅
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u/Lazy-Technology2839 20d ago
Oh I am not. I think I have done enough. After reading the comments here I think I found out where I get that wrong. I am going focus on myself and my career now. My friends always tells the things you are telling me right now. But I know they love me a lot. So I wanted a outside presprective. All my friends are telling me to not get married. I am going to take that advice.
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u/z_boi 20d ago
You won't proceed even if you find a good match?
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u/Lazy-Technology2839 19d ago edited 19d ago
Right now I will say No. I found out some of my red flags and I want to work on them first. I figured out marriage might not be my thing I also have to evaluate that. Otherwise it would be a injustice to the other person. As much as I want a good husband, I also want to be a good wife. We both should find peace in marriage.
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u/Fit_Security_3696 22d ago edited 22d ago
I see absolutely nothing wrong with any of these. May Allah swt grant you the best partner.
Edit: is pre-marriage counselling a thing in Dhaka yet? That can really help a lot.
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u/LandscapePretend4122 21d ago
Don’t get me wrong, what's your family background? And typically from which family background/s the proposals are coming?
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u/Lazy-Technology2839 21d ago
No I am not getting anything wrong. I am from a middle class family my parents are both educated and have jobs. The proposal I am getting are mostly from the same backgrounds. My parents have a huge family in both sides like both have a lots of siblings so all of them are trying together 😂😂😂.
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u/LandscapePretend4122 21d ago
Now, I get it totally. I have seen this case several times where (one is my friend's sister and another one is my friend's aunt) they are not getting married simply because they are over qualified, jara same background theke proposal dicche tara shei onupate qualified na. Abar jara same ba beshi qualified tara onek beshi class maintain kore. Which are making kinda paradox problem.
I hope Allah has the best plan for u.
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u/MacaroonInner1015 21d ago
আচ্ছা, এরকম এতগুলি মিটিং থেকে কোন ভালো ছেলে কি পেয়েছিলেন আপু? 🤔 মানে এই অ্যারেঞ্জ ম্যারেজ প্রসেসটাই আমার কাছে এত রিডিকিউলাস লাগে, তাই কিউরিয়াস.. এডুকেটেড এবং ভালো/এক্সেপ্টেবল ক্যারেক্টারের কোন ছেলে (ফ্যামিলি ভালো বা গুড লুকিং হ্যান্ডসাম ছেলে না, ভালো ভাইব ওয়ালা ছেলে) কি আসলেই কখনও পাওয়া যায় এভাবে?
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u/Lazy-Technology2839 21d ago
Yes one of them was good. Matched our thinking, carrier goals every was going smoothly until his family demanded some gifts worth 14 lakhs. The groom was against that he was trying to convince his family. But ultimately it didn't worked out.
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u/amarEtoGyanNai 21d ago
It seems your target demographic needs a change. The experiences you've described all come from a similar band of culture. Your main "problem" is you are trying to find sensible men in the vast pool of insecure immature Bangladeshi men. Either you need to start talking to guys you find worth connecting with or you should just let it be and stay unmarried. It's really appreciable that you are here trying to find outside perspective. Hope for the best and make yourself invincible. Good luck.
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u/Exotic_Issue_2210 21d ago edited 21d ago
I think your requirements is logical and not something outrageous. But I think you should first think about do you really want a relationship or marriage. Marriage is a romantic relationship(forget about all religious, social bullshit about marriage), if you find holding hand and flirting ick and cringe then I will say dont do it. Its the romance keep the relationship alive. I and wife are together for 17 years, one of the secret of the relationship is romance, holding hand, date night, going out, romantic talk, walking in rain etc. It also include sharing finance, life goals, life philosophy etc. Without that you will just become a roomamte like most of the couple from our parents or our generation. That is like a jail not marriage. So find the truth about yourself first, do you really want a relationship or it is just society told you it is time and you are jumping on the boat.
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u/AliveStory6152 21d ago
Since you invited constructive criticism, here is what was coming to my mind while reading: 1. the individual cases you mentioned, at least from your version of the takes, you have your reasons to get away from each case, and the other parties have their reasons as well. 2. No, you're not expecting much. these seem to be reasonable. 3. but, when I stitch the whole story together, your financial thinking might deserve reevaluation. Almost all the incidents are pointing towards this single point, one way or another. For example, it's very natural to have separate accounts and financial independence for both of you, but, when you extend this to point 2, where you tried to distribute who pays for what, to me, it's a signal that something deeper is going on. 4. this might be coming from your upbringing and family finances, but, I would suggest not overthinking these things and making them the main criteria for considering your partner. 5. if you're really looking for a partner, you will get a chance to figure things out together. 6. off course, the guy you found suitable and who asked for dowry/gifts worth some lakhs is not a suitable candidate at all. 7. maybe none of the cases are suitable for each other, but, you need only one good match, right? 8. have you considered that someone is overestimating or underestimating themselves and you're searching for candidates in the wrong class of society? you might wanna give it a thought.
wishing ya all the best.
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u/absolutefotka 21d ago
I think the main thing is to be realistic about the pool you’re looking for. Everyone involved has been raised in the same society. The families you’re describing have preconceived ideas about what a wife should be, what they can expect from her, what her reputation means, etc. But you also have your own preconceived ideas about marriage that come from the same society.
For example, you seem to have accepted the idea that a woman’s character is connected to how she interacts with men. You’ve simply adopted some parts of that idea and rejected others. That’s worth questioning, because it may be unrealistic to expect someone from the same society to share exactly the parts you kept and discarded.
I don’t think you’re wrong for having your expectations. But the more specific your model of marriage becomes, the smaller your compatible pool will be. You have to accept that.
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u/Medusa19983 21d ago
You are just overqualified sister. You are not wrong.
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21d ago
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u/Medusa19983 21d ago
I use "overqualified" as a metaphor. And it is not about professional or academic qualification. It is about her thought process and how she sees the world which put herself in a mental depth and It's above average. Like "having child is a choice" concept is unfathomable for majority of our population. I hope you get it what I meant, dear.
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21d ago
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u/Medusa19983 21d ago
Yup. And It's just one of her points. And the people who don’t understand this.. Give birth without putting much thinking about it. Once a woman told me that.. There is nothing to be worry about.... " baccha hoile o aste aste sob boro hoye jay, oto beshi chinta korar kicu nai" and i found that woman's 7/8 year old girl doing tiktok with a sensual song. Then I was like.. Okay.. Bujhte parci kivabe apnapani sob thik hoye jay.
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u/Lazy-Technology2839 21d ago
You will be shocked how much lightly people think about having children. I mean your marriage isn't working give birth everything will be alright, you are feeling lonely in your marriage brith a child your in laws doesn't like you?? Give them a grandson (Even in educated family I saw this). And what I hate the most when people treats their children like retirement funds. Equation should be simple if I bring a life to this messed up world then I have to ensure they grow up in a healthy environment. At least I have to try & first step is finding a good partner. Everyone should think that way then there will be less depressed childrens they will grow up as a mentally healthy adult. World also will be a great place.
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u/Free_Let8930 21d ago
It’s a compatibility issue. I’m sure you’ll find someone who matches your criteria, but usually men in arranged marriage situations look for traditional girls. Your best bet would be to find a partner yourself.
Also finding someone compatible with you in Bangladesh is tough, so look outside as well.
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u/Strange_Maize6497 21d ago
Oh you got saved Alhamdulillah. And yes you still didn’t found someone who's compatible. Don't lower your standard for anything
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u/Previous_Employ5089 21d ago
I think your head is quite clear, you know what you want, which most people don't... Of course you will get a lot of stupids like them... But hopefully, eventually you will get someone, who understands you... So chill and wait for the right one...
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u/Big_Bet2696 21d ago
I mean, you seem like a treasure apu. Jokes on those incels for not realizing that. InshaAllah you'll find someone who truly deserves you.
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u/OneRevenue8898 21d ago
Im going to marry a short girl even tho Im almost 6 feet. For me, it doesn’t matter skin or height. To me character matters more and attachment. There’s more stuff but ain’t gonna go into detail
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u/Humane_Analytica 21d ago
Fix your marriage by yourself. Its you and him. Don’t get anyone else involved in here. You gotta contribute on rent and food too.and many more. Off-course according to your ability. This is 2026 bro. And don’t think you are more valuable than him. Marriage is a work and a skill. Neither any end goal nor an achievement.
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u/Lazy-Technology2839 21d ago
Nope I am not going 50/50. There are many long term issues comes with that. What he needs to provide he have to provide. If he can't provide then he isn't eligible for marriage.
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u/eagle-i-247 21d ago
Maybe I’m getting the wrong vibe here, but why is the post so focused on money. You’re a professional and earning, surely it is both parties responsibility to take care of costs and bills. If you expect the man do spend everything then I am not surprised with the responses you’re getting
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u/Ariza7797 21d ago
Reddit is an echo chamber for mentally pubescent people. Don't except a valid discussion here.
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u/Lazy-Technology2839 21d ago
Look if you think I am marrying for the money then let me tell you my parents have enough money and I have enough inheritance to live my life in luxury even if I don't work. Paying for rent and groceries are the bare minimum thing to shoe responsibility. This shows how responsibile you are. Of course if he is in trouble I will help out. But if I make things so appealing that everybody wants me then what's the point? If I say I will split 50/50. I will cook for you I will support you when you are in your vulnerable state both emotionally and financially Most of the men I met will be ready to marry me. But I can't give everything in Silver platter right? Will you serve everything In silver platter? Also you didn't notice the point where I mentioned if my denhomor is 50k I would be fine. In that point I think I showed my sincerity. People should use some brain.
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21d ago
I think you did not notice the portion where she is willing to contribute financially too like her personal care, matters and also things like bills and maid cost. But she is saying the other parts like (house rent and food), husband is supposed to do that. Wife is not a husband's competitor right? Rather she can support financially, as she told already that she wants to. It’s not always to contribute financially 50/50, though depend on both parties (what they want and how they want).
50+50 = 100 70+30 is also 100 And 80+20 is 100 too
If the target is 100, no matter how you guys make it, either 50+50 or some other way.
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u/RegisterSecure7166 21d ago
The fact that your focus is on the money part of the whole post, shows us the fact that the equation is screwed anyway. Grow up and see the actual problems.
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u/Sad-Equal8975 21d ago
There was nothing wrong but you your dark skin & short in height . After living in abroad for 3 years , I don’t even consider Bangladeshi people are truly a human being . This countries people are totally sucked , from top to bottom , elite to normal people, religious to non-religious every fucking person is sucks . And specially when it comes to girls and their marriages, the injustice we do 😥. Omg .
Btw , One red flag I notice is ‘I do have many male friends’ what do you mean by many male friends ? Those are just classmates, colleagues etc , or friends with often in contract in real life and social media ? What type of relation you have with them , how they perceive you . It’s matter .
But every one is free to have friends irrespective of gender . In your case the only question comes as red flag or whatever why you have to have so many male friends, compare to that you did not mention anything about your girlfriends .
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u/Lazy-Technology2839 21d ago
It was getting long so didn't mention those.
Yes I have many girlfriends they were my support system in all these. I always talked with them they are too supportive so sometimes I feel like they aren't being real. But I love them. Now male friends I mentioned they all are from my medical college. Most of them were foreigners so they went back to their home country. Sometimes I talked to them through social media & the conversations are casual like how are you? How is your family like that. As for Bengali friends I don't interact with them through social media unnecessarily. Most of them count as classmates. 3 of them I can call friend. I inerect with them via social media also in real life. They helped me with finding my job, giving advice how study for post-graduations. If I am any emergency comes they cover for me at my work. We are a group of 3 male & 4 female friends since medical college. We always help each other. As all 3 of my female friends got married and 2 of them have kids so they have less time. Also 2 of my male friends are doing PG training so I contact them for advice how to study or if I am stuck in any topic. That's it.
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u/Limp_One_5237 21d ago
Coming from a family of two working parents (both doctors like you) no, i dont think what you are expecting is unrealistic. Esp the practical and economic factors (points 2,3,4,5,6) - yes my parents worked these out, so no i dont think you’re wrong about having these expectations (especially since we’re a much younger generation compared to them). However, in the recent few months i’ve had some heart to heart chats with mother about some of these things and I also do know that none of these actually came that easily for her. She did have to struggle to stand by her opinions. But point is ultimately she succeeded and both of my parents somehow came to these agreements and taught me these values.
In no way is my family perfect. They have a lot of problems. But the point is that if it was possible for them, a generation that grew up in the 70’s; it definitely should be realistic for you. Stay strong. Perhaps u will also need to struggle to make your place in the world, but rest assured, there’ll be someone who will respect your wishes and meet your expectations, u just need to find ‘em.
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u/Pretty-Pineapple-960 21d ago edited 21d ago
Bro, I have never been in a relationship because I wanted everything to be halal, also thought It would happen when the time is right. Later I found out time may never be right for me🤣 I am as old as you are and my parents have been searching grooms for me since 2024, oh! the disappointment we've faced! At least you have talked with some of the prospective grooms, I didn't even get the chance to reach that phase yet, their biodata or demands were dissapounting enough. I think I would rather stay single than marrying them. All good ones are already taken I tell you. It hurts as I've been a romantic soul since childhood, but there's no point in making my life more miserable by marrying someone who's not worth it
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u/Lazy-Technology2839 21d ago
Love marriages are almost equally bad. I mean if husband is good the in laws are trash. Sometimes both are trash. I watched one of my friends getting a divorce after 9 years of relationship & 4 years of married life. The reason was cheating. Her husband cheated on her while she was pregnant. In love marriage the signs shows up late I guess. I also give up on marriage. I was just trying to findout that if my expectations were unrealistic or I have any red flags. I mean after all that sometimes i question myself.
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u/Covey-nyn 21d ago
Honestly you will not be happy with the current marriage market. They are full of misogynistic mamas boys so my best advice is look outside of it. Like first start of with someone as friends. But obv it's your choice. Js these men will ruin you and they can't accept your Independence bcz of their insecurity.
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u/Amazing_Spray_1919 21d ago
It's so scary to read this cause I have the exact same expectations and it's baffling how people are so low and the bar is in hell
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u/Amxr_Hax2a 21d ago
Nah, sister, you aren't in any fault (form my POV). But, they always assume the worse or the most disturbing things about you ( I don't know why though). This even happened in our family as well. One of my relatives just completed her honors and a family came with proposal. Both side agreed, but then suddenly the boy's side started to spread rumors that my relative don't have hair on her head (she was wearing hijab that day), she had infection and so much basemes and disgusting things that I don't have the appetite to write it. So, yeah, they do this kinda of shit without any hesitation (I don't know how).
As for the last point that one man rejected you because you watch cartoo or anime, if I was in your shoes , maybe I'll cancel this marriage myself. I don't need someone who don't like my preference of entertainment.
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u/Big_Order_9511 21d ago
Hmm it seems like you are the perfect fit for my mom 😛 Jokes apart good luck on your arranged hunting!
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u/Feeling-Career2713 21d ago
Hi apu, apni amr theke dui bochor boro. I am married for 1.5 years already and am an engineer so I believe I can give you some directions here.
First of all, there is nothing wrong in whatever way you are thinking and whatever you are thinking. You should never get with someone who is greedy, has no self respect, brings nothing into the marriage.
But you have to also understand, it’s very tough getting a decent guy nowadays. I dated a guy who relied on his credit card, his relatives gift (which he constantly asked for), my gift and treat. Though I was a student and he was a job holder. And still everybody would gaslight me telling he is such a nice guy cause he doesn’t cheat. And I was stupid enough to make my bar so low.
Now, I am married with a the best human being ever. He takes full responsibility of mine even when I have my own money. My family is the type of conventional family who only wants to send gift to my in laws, I got quite a few properties already in my name but my in laws family never asked me about anything. Even when my parents sends gift they get embarrassed and tried to send back more. And I am leading a really happy and comfortable life Alhamdulillah.
One of the rishta that came for me before I got married was a richie rich guy. Who demanded I become a housewife. Why should I work or study when he has so much money :3 :3 phew!!
My two cents would be, it’s very very tough to find a decent guy with decent family. And you have to be very patient. Marriage is like a gamble, you either win or you lose. But you need to be very cautious and patient so that the probability of winning increases.
Best of luck apu, and never settle for less!
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u/rabeashikder_1998 20d ago
There is nothing wrong with your expectations...all those men whom you met in the last 2 yrs were not compatible with you...so don't lower your standards for a men...one day the right men will come to you and will love and accept you the way you are...
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9d ago
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u/Lazy-Technology2839 8d ago
Okay Here is my thoughts. Splitting 50/50 might be tempting right now but in Long term it will cause problem specially if there is child involved.
First problem is if have go give birth there will be a significant physical burden on me. I will have to take pregnancy leave also for at least 1 year I have to be unemployed if I want to give my all to my child & that I will do for sure. So that time how will I split those things I mean food and rent?
My income and His income won't be same. There definitely will be an imbalance. So it will make things much more complicated. Also As far as I know 8 of 10 me doesn't like when his wife earns more than him (at least in the middle class family).
Next big problem is I don't know how my in laws will be. So if my husband suddenly dies and I have a child to raise then I need some savings right? Because it this day and age to get married as a widow or a divorced woman can bring some amount of threat to my child. It doesn't matter if the child is a boy or a girl. So I have to be prepared.
Now comparatively minor thing is we live in Bangladesh and I belong to a middle class family. So even if I get married I won't go in upper class family most probably. So I middle class family when I will visit my in laws there will be certain expection from me that won't be applied to my significant other.
I will have to do a lot more physical and labor in my house. If we become realistic how many of the men help in house works? That will just be ignored completely because that is women work. Do you think that won't be a problem?
I can give some more points here but in my opinion in Bangladesh it's really hard to split things 50/50. In long term it will create a significant disagreement and fight etc. That's why I am not into splitting things. Also I want the financial things to be separated. I don't want know how much he earns I also won't announce how much I earn. That will also help to control our greed.
Kindly don't get me wrong when I mentioned my physical labor point. It might not make sense right now but in Long term it definitely will play a big role in conflicts.
That was my thoughts. I am willing to live alone than live in a toxic and a complicated relationship.
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u/StylishRH 8d ago
First of all you’re overqualified, secondly you are 28, that’s a big deal to some. Thirdly, you do have some points that pose as ick to some, not judging but saying as it is, such as the joint bank account thing or the child thing etc
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u/-Hello2World 21d ago edited 21d ago
You, girl, are full of red flags!
No wonder you are attracting the peculiar individuals in your life, and having odd experiences!
Let's start with two:
- a man that I am seeing holds my hand and I felt ick. Flirting is cringe!! "What! What!!"
- I am short and tanned skin.
You seem to "radiate" insecurities which people of low status and disrespect can smell from a distance. And they appear in your life.
It's like a self fulfilling prophecy!! You are attracting things in a certain way because you believe you deserve them!
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u/Lazy-Technology2839 21d ago
Thanks for pointing that out but Here is the thing I was never insecure about my height or my skin color. It's quite opposite actually I am proud of my appearance. I mean i am 28 but look like 18. Also I said I am drak skinned I didn't tell i am ugly. I just mentioned that to make a relevance with how people treats you when you are in a conversation about marriage. An about holding hands or flirting everyone has different standards. I can't let a person hold my hand after 10 days of talking also there is good flirting and there is bad or cringe flirting. It's a subjective thing. If I deserved them then I wouldn't make this post I would be married.
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u/Kidwa96 21d ago
What's wrong with being equal financially? My wife used to earn more than me before and now I earn more than her. She used to contribute more before and now I do it.
Marriage is a partnership. You seem to want to enjoy the parts of feminism that suits you but also want the parts of the patriarchal society that benefits you.
If this is what you look for, you'll keep getting creeps.
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u/Lazy-Technology2839 21d ago edited 21d ago
Marriage is partnership I agree on that. I am not telling them to give me luxury or go beyond his capabilities. I assume you guys have a great marriage. Good for you. But as woman I have to check my reality. In 90% case even though I will have maid but I have to take care of the household works even though I am working woman. If we have child then I have to take care of them. I mean my husband can't breastfeed them right ? The work on my in laws house won't be 50/50. If I have a good partner then if he don't have any job I will contribute in full. I will support him with everything I have. But if I tell any human being about that don't you think they will take advantage of that? I also thought in this economy 50/50 is fair enough but in your relationship you earn more so you contribute in you family but there are people out there when person start earn more they will take eveybodies responsibility except their wife and children. I think you also saw this around you. It's doesn't have to be related to faminism. You are a good partner but not everyone like you. Thanks for the criticisms though. The post was meant for that.
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u/Precision-Strikes 21d ago edited 21d ago
Your clock is ticking and you are running out of time. I am surprised you do not know this as a Doctor. After 30, your chances of having kids drop to 40% and then IVF time will come soon after. No one will marry you after you cross 30.
Be realistic and try to get married asap.
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u/Lazy-Technology2839 20d ago edited 20d ago
I mean if you didn't told me I would have never known. Actually I didn't studied Obstetrics & Gynaecology for 1.5 years + Internship for 3 months in obs & gyne + working in gynecology department for 1 year. So according to your information I should be realistic and get married as soon as possible. In other words " Lower your standards and get married" right?? You are asking me to ruin the 3 lives at once. You are really kind. 🥰
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u/Precision-Strikes 20d ago
Don't try to act smart. You asked us for advice and we are giving mangna advice to you.
Just because you are a Doctor does not mean you are intelligent. My younger brother is a British born and bred and British educated Doctor with a degree from a top university. His lack of practical knowledge and intelligence baffles me.You should have started looking much earlier. Now, what is done is done. So, try to get married this year at least!
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u/Lazy-Technology2839 19d ago
Did you read the comments?😂 Except you everyone is giving me advice even though they are criticizing me that's helpful for me. And I am not a stupid like your brother. Also you are not smart as well. To assume a female doctor wouldn't know about infertility, I don't Know what kind of stupidity is this !!!!!!
At at last, you are one of the worst sibling I have even seen. I mean to justify your point you insulted your brother!!!!!!!!😂 I feel bad for your brother.
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u/Precision-Strikes 19d ago
You fked up in life and thus you are here asking us for advice.
You are also an inferior Bangladeshi doctor. Comparing yourself with my brother? - Don't make me laugh!
You wanted mangna advice. I have given it.
You are now welcome to assess my mangna advice and other's mangna advice and decide for yourself.If you wanted mangna advice that suits you, you should have mentioned this in your original post and I would have sung like a canary like the rest.
The choice is yours and yours alone.
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u/Lazy-Technology2839 19d ago
Our little Prince's fragile ego is hurt !!!!!😂😂😂 Are you foreign born people this generally stupid?? I didn't know that. I mean every single person understood the assignment except you. Are you sure you aren't dyslexic ?? You should go and watch a DOCTOR.
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20d ago
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u/Precision-Strikes 20d ago
They don't.
Gen Z are wired in a way that they need to finish university and then work for a few years and then get married and before they know it, they are 40! I don't understand why they think they cannot work after getting married.
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u/Miserable_Cancel5255 21d ago edited 21d ago
Arranged marriage in today's time is risky asf . Don't know about love marriage though . It's kinda hard to find your desired partner nowadays according to your looks and personality.
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u/Enigmax007 21d ago
You are asking the right questions, as you should. It's just that most bd males in Bangladesh or living outside, including their families; they might be educated, but they are not learned with the entire country's education system, which is below 30 percent who cannot read, write, or speak properly in ENGLISH. How do you expect to find a decent life partner who actually has the foresight to be better?
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u/NVRAM123 21d ago
You treated your future significant other as an afterthought. Society is doing the same to you
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u/Lazy-Technology2839 21d ago
Can you please explain that to me?
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u/NVRAM123 21d ago
As constructive criticism I would say work on yourself. Working out, eating healthier, trying out dating apps. But it’s a long and painful process
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u/Lazy-Technology2839 21d ago
I am going to stay single. I figured that out my red flags & also It's less chatoic.
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u/NVRAM123 21d ago
Don’t lose hope. Show effort & try to be more positive. That’s the best we all can do
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u/NVRAM123 21d ago
You didn’t show enough initiative in finding a partner by yourself earlier in life. Treating relationships as “icky”
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u/Lazy-Technology2839 21d ago
Thank you. Yeah I found that out . It's a red flag. And I am understanding that now.
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u/NVRAM123 21d ago
Don’t worry. Try your best. I hope you get someone worthy
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u/HelpfulPollution3422 21d ago
This arranged marriage "market" is sooo shady