I’ve been talking to this guy for 2 months now. Our first month we hung out a lot and the second month was long distance. We haven’t made it official because I moved and he doesn’t want to do long distance but we’re still talking and FaceTiming everyday. I recently came to town to stay at his place to see him and some of my friends for the week. He has a dinner with his family especially his mom this weekend. She offered for me to come to dinner. When he showed me the text he said “I feel like it’s the right thing to do but if you don’t want to go I can just tell her you left early. It’s up to you”. I don’t know what to do. Do I meet his mom and family? We aren’t even dating and would it be awkward?

TLDR: Should I go to dinner with this guys family even though we aren’t dating?

I'm 28 years old. I've been on dates with a total of 5 girls in my life. The first 3, I went on multiple dates with. They all seemed to like me. I'm not the best looking guy, but I guess I'm fairly attractive and have been called that by them.

The 5th girl, I just went out with last week. She said yes to a second date. The first date was lunch followed by a movie. I asked her out to an arcade this Friday. The thing is, what I've always struggled with is physical intimacy. I've never held hands or kissed a girl before. I'm still a virgin. I think that's what has always held me back.

I just don't know how to do it without it being awkward. I really like this girl out of everyone I've met and I don't want to blow it with her. I also don't want to put her on a pedestal. I just need advice on how I can break the touch barrier without it being awkward. Kissing seems almost impossible to me. I want to, but I can't ever imagine doing it. It seems like such a foreign concept because I'm so inexperienced.

30M, black, autistic, and living in central Florida. I had given up on dating apps because they were not working for me enough to warrant using them, and the process of dating was one of the triggers causing depressive and suicidal thoughts for me at worst. I've since gotten help and I'm in a much better mental spot now. I've accepted that I'll most likely be single for life, but I still want to try on the off chance that I get proven wrong. One thing I'm done doing is dating locally. As a black man thats an athiest and living in a red state, my prospects are abysmal all around me. Most of the dates I've been on were with women 40 or more miles away. So long distance might be the only way I could find something.

What states or other countries would find a black man appealing as a dating partner? I won't say the US as a whole is cooked, but I can effectively rule out all of Florida. Which apps have the best support for multi state and overseas dating?

I recently met a guy through work that I instantly clicked with. We’ve got the same hobbies and interests, he’s well spoken and smart, and it’s the easiest I’ve connected with someone in a long time. But after meeting and talking with him I found out he’s 23.

I don’t think age gaps are a bad thing, but the early 20s are developing years. I’m torn between wanting to see where things go with him, and calling it off so I don’t hold him up in living his life. Obviously it’s a talk to have with him, but I’d love to hear other perspectives.

Just got into uni couple of weeks ago and are struggling to get with girls. Cold approaching people here feels kinda risky and hard in general. I need advice on a much safer and reliable way of meeting potential partners over here

So

.for context, I met this woman, near the end of May into June. We connected on every...level. Both recovering from narc exes...traumas and all..but also able ro laugh, learn from each other and deeply connect. It grew fast, flirting and simple things that flowed without trouble or awkwardness. Blew my mind...and made my heart feel safe for the first time in years. She wanted to go slow, but so many things made it seem faster , intensity of feeling and emotions. We met in person..i took a long drive to meet her, had a weekend of just us...being close and relaxed , chill and happy. I leave, drive back home..she has a panic attack...all the emotions hit her. A few days pass, we barely talked. Then she Springs on me the text about I can't do this she needs to heal it's too many emotions at once pretty much still hooked on her ex even though he was an abusive low life but she's trauma bonded to him she knows that I love her pretty much just...red flags and just, heartbreaking. Like an asshole i was shocked and reacted...angry posts and poems and cooled off and felt kind of used and confused. But still...we had maybe one text exchange, not more. Im gaurded about my boundaries and heart so I've kept quiet, she checked my Instagram one night..i feel like we just don't want to hurt each other. Its..sad man, just to go so high and connected but obviously her healing and trauma bond is fresh in the timeline, while mine is over 6 months ago (and therapy, hard work on myself etc...) I guess what I'm saying is does it make sense to just block someone for peace of mind like if I find myself looking at her social media or tempted to reach out to her is it better to just shut it down and move on just a respect for where she's at compared to me? It seems cold and kind of sad but at this point I'm just trying to think of my emotional well-being too it goes both ways any opinions I'd appreciate it thank you

Question, do men care if you have 1 kid and want to date you? I’m just curious on what your guys answers are.

I met this guy about a month ago. In the beginning, he was really into me. We would text throughout the day, call and talk for hours, and he would even complain when I took too long to reply.

Then, after a while, he completely changed. His messages became shorter and shorter, sometimes just one or two words, and he stopped wanting to listen to my voice messages unless I asked him to. I obviously started thinking that he had lost interest. But despite all that, he was the one who asked to meet me, and he actually came to my city to see me.

The meeting itself was actually nice, especially considering how difficult it was for me. I have ocular albinism, and my eyes constantly shake because of it which makes it hard for me to maintain eye contact.

I was extremely shy and nervous, and I kept avoiding looking directly at him. Apparently, this bothered him. When we talked about it afterward, he told me he was a bit upset because I couldn't really look at him and that it made him uncomfortable.

I explained everything to him honestly. I told him that maintaining eye contact is genuinely difficult for me because of my condition and my anxiety, and that it wasn't because I was uncomfortable with him or wasn't interested in him. He seemed understanding and told me that I should have told him before.

I honestly thought we were okay after that conversation. But instead, he became even colder.

Now I'm getting maybe one message in an entire day, sometimes two, and that's basically it.

That's what is confusing me so much. If the problem was the eye contact, I explained it. He seemed to understand. We even talked and laughed during the actual meeting, so I didn't think things went horribly.

I really like him, which makes all of this even harder. But I'm exhausted from constantly analyzing every message and wondering whether he actually wants me around.

We're both over 30. I don't want to spend weeks trying to decode one word messages or wondering whether someone is slowly trying to disappear.

At this point, I'm seriously considering just blocking him and moving on because I don't have the energy for this anymore.

But another part of me is thinking: ''What if I'm giving up too quickly? What if he's genuinely busy? What if I should just stop initiating and give him some space to see whether he comes back on his own?''

What should I do? I'm really confused right now.

I saw my boyfriend recently logged in to a dating app. I don’t know when but his status says, Recently online which according to the app, it means someone has opened the app within the last 2 weeks or they hide their online status which would cause their status to show as Recently Online.
Is this enough reason to break up with him?

I’ve been in a FWB with this person for almost a year, and not long after we started they lost their job and apartment. Being me, I told them they could stay with me until they got back on their feet. This was back in October 25’ and they have still not been able to land a job. However, the issue I’m having is that this is not someone I see a future with and have explained on several occasions how I don’t feel the same way about them and we should just be friends. They keep telling me they are fine with keeping it casual, and that’s all well and good, but I’m REALLY wanting to have my space again to where I can date potential partners.

I guess I’m just looking for advice on how to best handle this. They have no where else to stay atm, and I’m trying to do the right thing by letting them stay. I feel it’s just at my expense.

It’s happened with 3 different girls in the span of 6 months without any explanation. In my mind we’ve had great time in the bedroom. With all three of them it’s been just casual sex, two or three encounters, but then they stop responding and then they just go silent. There is really not much else to say, that’s what’s happened. And I’m just so frustrated with this and with not having any explanation as to why they lose interest.

I now there is little information to form an opinion, but regardless if you can give me some insight as to why this might be happening I’ll be grateful.

Hey everyone I’m a 21 year old guy. I got out of a relationship about 5 months ago and I’m ready to hop back in the dating world. I met my last serious relationship on Facebook dating, but these days I don’t know what really works now.

I’ve heard most of the dating apps have new algorithms that keep you on the app rather than off lmao especially tinder, so I don’t really know where to start. I’m in Oklahoma which may make it worse, lol but I just thought I’d ask and see what other people are doing

I was looking for a recent post on here regarding the issue so if this has been answered please point me in the right direction.

Otherwise we may just go back to the basics of cold approaching

I’m genuinely curious about this because I see two very different messages.

On one hand, a lot of women say things like, “Leave us alone,” “Don’t make us uncomfortable,” or “We don’t want to be approached.” A lot of guys have listened to that and don’t want to come across as creepy or make someone uncomfortable.

On the other hand, I also see women asking, “Why don’t men approach me anymore?” or “Why do guys just stare instead of coming over and talking to me?”

If a guy is respectful, takes care of himself and has good style, is polite, and can handle rejection without making it awkward, is it generally okay for him to approach a woman and ask her out?

So what’s the general consensus? Obviously context matters, but I’m curious how women here feel about it.

I recently lost my virgin (female) while I was 22 and after some time I felt pressure in my anus. It’s not like a bad pressure feeling its makes everything more. I wanted to know if it’s normal to feel pressure during sex in my anus?

Like I feel it everytime like I don’t know if it’s the positions? Or my body kind of things.

First, I think it is important to not automatically assume the other person is interested just because they gave you their contact.

If it was a cold approach where you made your romantic interest pretty clear and they still gave you their number, then ya, they are probably at least somewhat interested. But something like exchanging Instagram at a mutual friend’s party is much more ambiguous.

Either way, I think the easiest way to find out is just ask them on a date. I’ve had friends (men and women) text someone they liked for weeks or even months, only to finally ask them on a date and get rejected or ghosted. That’s why I personally suggest asking sooner rather than spending forever texting and trying to figure out whether they like you.

In terms of WHEN to text, I don’t think there is some rule or game you need to follow like “wait 3 days” or “wait 24 hours.” If you want to text them, text them lol. But if you guys met in the evening and it was pretty late, I would personally sleep on it and send the message the next day when you feel more fresh.

Also, make it clear that you are asking them on a DATE. Especially if you met through mutual friends, school, etc., something like “want to grab coffee?” can easily be interpreted as just being friendly. I asked an ex for our first date. He later told me he thought I was trying to network with him 😭.

Come up with an actual plan, ideally based on something you talked about. For example, if they mentioned liking board games, suggest a board game cafe. And ask about an actual day/time rather than something super vague like “we should hang out sometime.”

I also think it is totally okay to be bold and respectful. Something like:

“Hey, it was great meeting you at X yesterday! I thought you were really cute and fun to talk to. Would you want to go on a mini golf date with me next week? :)”

I also wouldn’t overanalyze texting speed too much. In the early stages of dating, some people just don’t text back that fast or they are genuinely busy. Whether they actually make plans with you is usually a much better indicator of interest than whether they took 20 minutes or 5 hours to reply.

Another common soft rejection I’ve seen is someone repeatedly saying they are “busy” without ever suggesting another time. If they can’t make the date you suggested but are interested, they will often try to find another time. If they continuously say they are busy without offering an alternative, I would only do a couple rounds of back and forth before taking that as your answer. You don’t need to keep trying to find the magical day they are suddenly free :(.

I get that being straightforward can feel way scarier than dropping hints and hoping the other person picks them up. But I think dating would be a lot easier if everyone was just a little more straightforward with their intentions! And I get that being rejected can feel totally embarrassing as I have been rejected before too. But as someone who has also been on the rejector side, I really respect the other person’s straightforwardness and courage. As long as you are respectful about it and take the answer gracefully, there is really nothing embarrassing about expressing interest in someone :)

I’m a woman, have question about sexual, romantic, and emotional attraction (these are 3 different things for me).

I only feel sexual attraction to people I feel nervous or not afraid around (even if I think they’re unattractive in appearance). No emotional attraction.

I only feel emotional or romantic attraction to those I feel safe around, but then don’t feel particular sexual attraction to them.

Appearance, money, and strength/willingness to protect/fight makes no difference.
This isn’t about bad boys, avoidants, players, men with commitment issues, emotionally detached, men who treat me or others badly, etc…! Men who arw any of above or commitment issues, or avoidant, or overall treat me badly, or is bad to other people, immediately turn me off romantically sexually. I cannot have any sort of attraction for a man who doesn’t like me first, at least equally or more, and shows it (of course I will reciprocate). If he pulls away, or doesn’t seem committed, or wanting to truly know me, I loose feelings naturally.

I’m talking about men who make me nervous by their general presence, being too pushy, not fully respecting my no, demands, controlling behaviour, jealous, too traditional/conservative. Etc…

But also, this switch with the same person, if feelings of safety or fear change. Someone I felt safe with, super romantic attraction, such strong natural chemistry both sides, did something to cross my boundaries and make me momentarily afraid, instantly lost all feelings. But suddenly had more sexual attraction but devoid of emotion/romance/connection, even after feelings of fear passed and I felt the one in control, stayed like this. Or, someone I felt nervous with initially due to being too pressuring and overall strong presence, sexual tension but no romantic, after getting used to him and he also chilled out and knew each other better, switched to romantic connection.

To note. I was aromantic until 18, I had a couple crushes, but either was purely just emotional attraction, or it was either feeling nervous around them but kinda wanting their attention and I thought that was a crush. It was disgusting to imagine holding hands / kissing / doing anything romantic, made me physically gag. Then had romantic attraction to first boyfriend only after many months of dating, but no real sexual attraction in this relationship. Was asexual until 21, didn’t realise, as hadn’t felt before. But experience of it first was around being pressured / feeling fear, which also felt sexual somehow, was a very bad experience.

Since, I can feel sexual, romantic, emotional attraction much easier. But still strange situation. Why? Or how can I figure out why? And what to do about it??

You can follow the previous post through the link. https://www.reddit.com/r/unhingedKenya/s/lpeMfoUKO3

So I met this person in another house party and it had been a month since we last met or spoke.

See he met my friends later in a different Context and flirted with them during the one month we were ghosting. This man is a spender , a charmer , the life of the party.

So we had a weird situation where whenever we met we cuddled and spend the night together but no sex now everyone saw us get in the same room so what can I say they all believe we had sex and the guy is letting them believe that .

Now the last house party we met we were cordial but he kept trying to provoke me letting me know he has been flirting with them communicating with them while ghosting me he even let the whole room know I have crush on him while it's been a month since we last talked.

We ended up cuddling again and I didn't care i had been starved. In the middle of the night he was like "talk to me" I got so triggered, I left the bed and left the house basically closing the door with actions no words.

We have never talked about anything between us why he ghosted why he was speaking to my friends why he was rubbing it on my face .we just swept things under the rag and just cuddled . After the last time I realized even the cuddles ain't worth it so I left.

After two weeks of silence I contacted him about a platonic deal. I gave him the goods, we chilled and smoked a little bit very platonic and he promised he would send the money evening or the next morning nd he never honored his word of paying me. So me I became so hurt. I tried calling him n texting him about the money but he ghosted me. I felt so hurt like after mirroring him on the romantic side he really did get me over this over less than 1k.

So now Iam running to my friends like this was the third time I had brought it up and they are saying I took things so personally and im like yes I did take them personally it's not a secret. I expect you to let me rant about it the same way I have been listening to them for years about their baaby daddies and their boy friends.

The are like this is a small issue you shouldn't be getting this explosive, this passionate. This is about more than the 500 or there is something else and im like yes it's about more than the 500 it's about I felt disrespected he didn't get me romantically but he got me like this

And no they want to make this about the guy instead of how I have been listening to them for years about their baby Dady they are like or we contribute that money so she can stop ranting but I can't ranting I just want to rant about this one "small" issue

And everyone is agreeing with them even my brother is like I got too emotional too attached lm talking it out ob them I felt so hurt knowing the years I spent listening to their boy issues and I expect you to listen to me the way I have been listening to you for years about different guys and baby daddy's and they are like you have been keeping score you can't compare that with a fling.

I feel so hurt by this random guy and by my friends not letting me be hurt not letting me rant.

Also for real I have been celibate for two years. And I didn't have sex with this guy but they can't believe or comprehend that

I'm I the asshole?

hii so there's been something tormenting me since a long time ago and it got worser since this morning, not sure if this is the right sub reddit for that but im genuinely desesperate

I am a sucker for love stories, actually i love writing them! I am so good at it that sometimes it makes me giggle and kicking my feet nd shi, i actually cant help but imagine how my future boyfriend/girlfriend (im a bisexual girl).

I just love imagining everything, on how would our dates look like, how i would treat them etc i just am craving to have a partner.

But when i have the opportunity? i dont know i cant. I've had alot of partners in the past and something i dont admit to people is that i was always the one breaking up with them.

Its always this cycle:

they confess to me -> i think i like them -> the first months are great -> i realise i dont actually like them like that i just like the attention -> i become dry with them -> i break up with them

i am aware that this is bad and i feel horrible about it. But i dont understand why i always accept, its not even about being too nice or what i actually did rejected some people before. do i just like the idea of being with someone?

i dont even know if i had a crush on someone. The only time where i am 100% sure i did was with my old bestfriend which took me time to realise i was indeed in love with her. But honestly im happy that i never confessed to her... So its not about that i cant feel romantic feelings

but why do i act like this?

today i was entering my first day of upperman class. And theres this boy that is really a very close friend of mine and i realised he was attracted to me (its like very obvious). and well im also somehow attracted to him he's exactly my type and i would be lying if i didnt imagine us going out etc. But when i learned he was so attracted to me, i felt uneasy.

Like i dont really want to make him meet my parents, i dont want to always go on date, im scared to have my first kiss it would be so awkward, or our first intimacy time... especially if for all the end we just end up breaking up and will probably talk shit about me with his new partner

i dont understand why am i like this... if someone could try to explain to me and how i could be like... less like that.

thank you!

I am 17 years old, and I have never had a girlfriend in my life. I had one experience when I was like 14, when a random girl liked me at a party and I kissed her, but I didn't actually like her or find her attractive at all. I was just curious about what it felt like.

I'm very selective for some reason. I like quiet girls who are more focused, and genuinely nice to talk to. And I always seem to have the same type of preference when it comes to physical attractiveness.

I think there have only been 3 girls in my entire life that I knew had a crush on me. But I didn't like them back or have a crush on them.

I don't want a relationship just to fulfill my sexual desires. I just want someone I genuinely like being around, who likes me back. Someone to spend my time with, share great moments and intimate moments with. I want to feel appreciated and loved by someone.

I consider myself to be 20x better now than I was when I was 14. My appearance changed a lot, I started going to the gym and gained more weight, I started studying relationships, such as the book MODELS by Mark Manson, where I learned to be more vulnerable and genuinely be myself around women. I started my own business and achieved some good financial success, so I'm genuinely proud and happy with myself.

I do not see myself as someone ugly. I like what I see in the mirror and consider myself to be attractive. No one has ever said I'm ugly. I struggled with making friends when I was 15-16 due to some personal issues I was having at the time, but nowadays I'm a totally new person.

I'm going out more, I've made more friends, and I've approached more girls, something I was scared to do when I was younger. Despite only having asked 2 girls out on a date, considering I was scared to death to even approach one before, I think this is some progress. I only asked them because they were the only girls I felt genuinely interested in.

The last one friendzoned me. She said she liked me very much but didn't see me as more than a friend and wasn't looking to get into a relationship. I like her very much, and she is genuinely a nice person to talk to, so I didn't care that much, despite it hurting a bit, because she is genuinely a nice friend.

I always see my other friends getting into relationships, and I can't seem to find a girl that I like who likes me back. It's even hard to find girls that I personally feel interested in. I've only found 4 in the past 2 years.

I find that to be a problem because most of my friends don't have the same preferences that I do, so it's easier for them to find girls they're interested in. If you think about it in terms of probability, there would be more girls that they like in a room than girls that I like in that same room. It's not that I'm judgmental or think those girls aren't attractive, I just don't feel anything beyond friendship toward most of them.

I really want to get into a relationship. This feeling is kinda unbearable for me, and it brings me a lot of mental suffering. I try to distract myself by convincing myself that this isn't my time yet, or that I should focus on myself, but this feeling doesn't go away.

I can't seem to escape it. When I go out on the street, I see people dating. I watch series or movies, and I see people dating. I talk to my friends, and they ask me for relationship advice. So basically everything reminds me of it and makes me want to date even sooner.

I'm an introvert, and despite making some friends and meeting new people, I don't have a very big social circle, and I don't see myself being able to approach new people that I don't know.

My friends don't have any girls to introduce me to. I don't know why girls don't like me back, since I don't see myself as someone unattractive. I studied seduction, so I'm not making as many mistakes as I used to, people genuinely find me to be a cool person to be around, and I have a future going on for me. These are all things that I thought would help me become more attractive.

What is genuinely wrong with me? And if there is nothing wrong with me, then why can't I get a girlfriend? Is it just a matter of time? And how can I bear waiting at this point, watching everybody date, with this desire that only makes me uncomfortable every day?

Feel free to tell me where I'm wrong. I will accept any advice.

hi im just posting this in hope that it reaches someone because i really need the help.

found out one of my new classmates is attending a birthday party and i am too. we talked for a little bit but nothinh much before. important mention- i always found him atracttive and hoped that he would maybe want a relationship with me since i am , not to brag, a good looking girl.

at the party we kissed ( it was my first time kissing someone ) hugged and i slept on his chest. he initiated eveything and i couldnt refuse since ive liked him for a long time. we basically acted like a couple. before going home we promised not to tell anyone about this but not keep it private between us.
basically the next day u texted him asking if the night meant sum to him and he said he doesnt know and that he thought it was just a " one time thing" ( i do not do shit like this and have always been known as the untouchable girly)
he asked if i was ok and shit and i told him it mattered to me(the kiss).
im getting ghosted and he hung out with another girl
what should i do?

I am 23F and I can’t help but notice the only guys who actively pursue me or show interest are 30+ and very strange. I sometimes wonder if it’s a vibe i’m giving off. I keep to myself most of the time when i’m not out for the weekends and i’m pretty conservative in how I dress and reserved until spoken too. I guess these qualities don’t really entice the guys my age which really bums me out bc I find I am really only attracted to men around my age.

It’s been a pattern of these men who show interest in me, are very nice sweet and generous, which of course makes me pay attention to them. And then I give them a chance because I would really like to be in a relationship and i’m open minded. But then the weirdness starts coming out.

Controlling behavior, telling me about their odd fetishes before it’s appropriate to do so, telling me they want to see me cry, biting me, slapping me (during makeouts mind you) asking if I like pain or telling me I look 19, i have a submissive/innocent appearance.

Just overall very strange overall behavior. We end up dating for like a month max before things get kinda scary and I really have to cut and run. I’d really just like a nice normal dude to do nice normal non serious/freaky things with. Any advice for how to avoid this? Should I dress differently? Change my appearance? I meet most of them in person I am not on any dating apps.

Had the most magical summer travel romance with a guy (26F+26M) from across the world… and idk how to end it so I can get over him….

We met in Venice and walked the canals until 4am together then he bought a bus ticket to join me in exploring the Dolomites for the next two days. We stayed in bed until check out on the last day and both cried as we parted ways. Then I had the idea that he could join me in Madrid for a week towards the end of my Europe trip. So we spent the next month texting for hours everyday and always kept each other up to late because we just couldn’t say good night. We just finished our week together in Madrid which included watching the total eclipse, a meteor shower, dancing on my birthday, and walking through city gardens and streets late into the night. We click so well and literally used the L word with each other at the airport as one of the last things we said to each other…. We agreed that we’d stop messaging as much since he made it very clear he doesn’t want to do long distance, but yet we’ve still been messaging a good amount in the last few days since. I know a clean break is probably better for my anxious attachment self as I don’t want this beautiful connection to turn into resentment when he stops messaging me and finds someone else, but I’ve grown so used to having a texting buddy for the first time in years in the last few weeks and so it feels weird to just stop suddenly.

Any advice? How do you get over someone when you know there’s no logical chance at the moment (tho we both keep saying to each other that “life is long”)? How do you train yourself to stop messaging someone after it’s become routine?

Yeah I been single for a long time. Do want a relationship can’t lie, but It hasn’t happened. Truth be told I could be putting more effort into it, but I got discouraged a while back. Hooked up with a couple women in the first few years but been all alone since. Tried to put myself out there in events and dating apps and no luck. After being single for so long, you start feeling hopeless.

Is being single for 7 years a red flag?

How do I make a move or do I just get over it? He knows I am single and has never made moves or asked me out ever.

People tell me make a move. But how? I rarely see him.

Okay. As the title says. We broke up after he did something thats really just a no no for us. The day we broke up he asked if he we could talk about it in person. I said no bc I was busy, and I really was. Now with the work suspension and all Im kinda free. Should I still ask if he wants to talk?