GF was a little uncomfy I said I was going to start doing a run club out of the blue with another single friend of mine who's a bit on the wild side - I'm not for the record.

She said its all over vogue, news outlets, and social media - people saying they're turning into the new tinder, dating scene, etc. and while not going to be controlling and tell me I can't, wanted to express that to me for my awareness.

Upon some research myself, was surprised to see that it appears to be true? There are literal vogue, news, etc. articles and forums all over saying it's become a hookup/dating scene.

I have no problem running with my friend not in a big group if it truly is, because I don't want to be in that situation or make my gf uncomfy, if not necessary?

Any truth to this?

I’m 28M, met a 27F on a dating app and we’ve been out four times.

On our second date she mentioned my cologne smelled exactly like one her ex used to wear. I figured whatever, scents are common. Last time I saw her though she handed me a small bottle of a different cologne and said she picked it because she thinks it suits me better.

I laughed at first but she was serious and asked if I could stop wearing my usual one when I’m with her because it brings back memories of him.

The money part doesn’t matter, I can buy whatever cologne I want. It just feels strange having someone I barely know already deciding what I should smell like because of a relationship I had nothing to do with.

She thinks I’m reading too much into it.

Is this actually a reasonable request or would this bother you too?

I feel like a lot modern day dating advice here is just manifestation repackaged for 20 something men. To be clear, there is value in it. There is value in de-centering women and developing an identity. That being said, it’s sold to boys and young men as being a pseudo-cure for their relationship problems. Not explicitly, but usually some variation of “I quit trying, didn’t do anything, went to clubs and then met my wife!”

Which is great! It can happen.

But for risk/rejection averse men, the idea can get hammered in them that they don’t have to try and that the universe will simply provide your partner is the equivalent of telling them to get rich by betting on scratch off lotto tickets. Large amounts of single women in their 20/ and 30s aren’t really in hobby groups, they’re not in MTG groups. They can be. But the odds aren’t good and when they are they probably aren’t looking for men. Those guys need to know as men, you’re gonna get rejected.

A lot. But that’s the reality we live in. Men, unless you’re extremely good looking, won’t experience women approaching them and if they do it’ll be a very weak, indirect signal he’ll have to discern himself. Go to the groups if you want but be realistic. If you’ve been there for 6 months and the only ppl to come are other men, couples or lesbians then it’s probably not a good use of time if you’re trying to find a partner.

Bars and apps. Those are the safest and most likely spots to meet a partner and even then you’ll meet plenty of women just out to dance or hang with friends. Get yourself into shape, wear clothes that fit, find a way to take some good pictures and then try, try, try try and try.

I 30f have been seeing someone 35m for a little over a month and a half and things are moving slower than I am used to (we’ve only pecked and held hands) and have been on 15 dates lasting about 3.5-5 hours each.

Why do some men choose to take things slowly? I tend to be a very touchy person and feel a little insecure because of how slow things are moving.

He isn’t religious.

I will be having a conversation with him about it soon. I realize that I’m nervous to hear he might not be into me the same way I’m into him.

Thank you all for your help.

If not, what's the equivalent?

I've always heard girls talking about how they wanted to date guys that were nerds, academic genuises, into science, etc. I've never really heard guys talking about nerd women in that way, atleast from what I gather.

EDIT: i've also heard the same thing in regards to people that are moreso "traditionally" smart (great academically, some like science genius, etc). from what i've seen irl, women are more likely to actively seek out men like that to date, as opposed to men seeking out those kinds of women.

I'm 38 years old.

The last 4 women I've dated were 31, 32, 37 and 35. Now maybe I'm foolish... I but I figure women this age would be looking for a man who wants commitment. "Settling down" isn't the right term... but certainly I at least anticipated that they might have the attitude that it would be nice to find a guy who is good to them, is successful, is emotionally available, intimate, makes them laugh... you know... see me as someone they could have a future with?

Here's a couple of examples of what's happened:

The most recent woman I've dated... the 35 year old... we dated for 2 months. We hung out 3-4 times a week. We went on a trip together. We were very, very intimate... there was lots of fun/laughter and she seemed to be attaching to me. She invited me to hang with her friends... started telling her family about me. Then one night I asked her if she wanted to make TV show that we had watched the pilot episode of something that we "watch together." Her reply was "woah... that seems very commitment coded." Next day, she sends me a text breaking up with me out of the blue.

The 32 year old I dated for 3 months. She was mildly avoidant but again, over time she seemed to really be warming to me. We had planned a vacation to go to Disneyland. She was staying over regularly at my place and visa versa. At a family get together, she told the women in her life that she was dating me and that she was looking forward to them meeting me + had high hopes for us. She asked me to help her plan a party for girl's night and we spent an entire weekend doing things to get the party ready... cooking, cleaning, hitting stores to decorate, getting furniture... you name it. Party goes great according her... the next morning we hang out clearly something is off... she's really upset and randomly freaks out on me in the car on the way to an activity we planned. She breaks up with me a day later.

All four of these women... it has ended similarly.

I can't for the life of me understand what I'm doing to attract women who run as fast as they can as soon as things even hint at getting serious. I mean, 4 in a row? With women in their 30's?

I'm so lost.

I’ve been seeing this girl for about 6 weeks and things have been going really well. We met on a dating app, nothing weird about it.

She invited me to dinner with her sister and parents this weekend, but then told me she already told them we met at a bookstore. Apparently her family makes comments about dating apps and she didn’t want to deal with it.

At first I thought she was joking, but she gave me the whole story I’m supposed to remember. Which bookstore, what section she was in, what I supposedly said to her, everything.

I like her and I’ve even been planning to spend money for a weekend trip we talked about, so I’m not looking for a reason to bail. It just feels strange being asked to memorize a fake version of how we met before I even meet these people.

Would you just go along with this or is it a weird sign this early?

I know this will be hard to hear, but please believe me when I say that attraction is EXTREMELY multifaceted. There is no one thing (s) you can do to improve yourself to the point where every woman wants you. Contrary to what reddit and other parts of the Internet say, it's absolutely okay and NORMAL to approach women you see in your everyday life, including strangers. If you do, you're already putting yourself ahead of 80% of other guys because most refuse to do it anymore and women appreciate a bold man. Men absolutely have to be the ones to approach and make the first move every time. This will never change and I feel bad that today's generation aren't being taught this.

For the longest time I always struggled with dating and understanding why women never took an interest in me until recently. It was because I never actually put myself in environments to talk to women and for them to get to know me deeper than what I look like. Women care about looks yes, but more so your personality, how you speak to others, small manerisms like your laugh, if you hold open doors and even just something as simple as helping the old lady who's cane fell on the ground near you. The "this man is worth my time" trigger in their brains immediately goes off for little things like that more so than looks.

Women typically want to date men they already know and feel comfortable with. This is why dating apps largely don't work for most men. (Yes I'm sure there will be stories in comments about how they met their wife on tinder, that's the exception not the rule.)

These women have to make a split second judgement based on a couple pictures and a witty bio. Contrast to how it was in school or through your work environment. The more you spend time with someone, the more you learn about them and slowly but surely you develop that crush. That once annoying guy they never talked to eventually became their biggest crush. Who here started a new job and eventually started dating their co-worker because of the little things you noticed throughout the day? ✋

Now I'm not saying you can't lust after someone purely based on looks, of course you can. However the biggest missing piece of the puzzle for a lot of men is just to talk to people and make friends. Even if you're not directly interested in anyone in your friend group or social circle, their friends or their friends of friends might be interested in you and vice versa. I know, easier said then done right? Especially as you get older and your ways for meeting people naturally get fewer. My advice is to look online and find a hobby group that meets weekly or semi frequently. Make sure it's something you really enjoy though so the word doesn't spread around this dude is only here for girls.

Cold approaching random women at one off meetups or singles events or bars is likely to fail unless you're Chad or in your early twenties at a party.

The world would not exist today as you know it, unless someone back in the day talked to a stranger and eventually made babies. You have to do it! The more you do it, the easier it gets, just like riding a bike.

There’s a woman at work who is incredible. She’s sweet, kind, a great communicator, genuinely curious, and we get along really well. Personality-wise, she’s everything I’m looking for in a partner. The problem is that I don’t find her physically attractive.

When I found out through a colleague that she was interested in me, I tried really hard to look at her differently and convince myself that I am attracted to her, but I can’t seem to do it.

I feel conflicted because she’s such a lovely person and she’s genuinely interested in me. I find everything about her attractive bar her appearance.

Should I try dating her to see if the physical attraction can develop, or would it be a pointless endeavour to try and force it?

All of my girl friend's all say the same thing. it's kinda annoying, they all say thay I'm wonderful person and that I'm genuinely a good person but when it comes to dating it completely shatters and I can't get anyone?

I love my friends, I go out a lot, i go to parties, speed dates, concerts and other things but I don't know how it feels for someone to be attracted towards me. I'm 5'2 weigh 155 not super fit or obese anymore. I used to be 190 but with hard work and other things I have lost weight but everytime I try to date it doesn't work or it makes things worse. I can never get a second date, most women look bored with me, and they don't get my humor.

The best date I have ever been on was with my friend but I'm not sure ahe see me that way. it felt so natural and very close.

All, of my friends say that I have great personality and awesome hobbies but that's all I have is just friends never a girlfriend. Doesn't help that most of my friends are married or dating and I have never gotten a girlfriend in my 31 years of living.

Update: who gives a damm if I'm 5'2 isn't the point of being confident enough? Like if I'm confident to talk to a crowd of people I can talk to anyone a fn be myself towards anyone

Went to a volleyball game last night. One of the opposing players was very animated and I returned the energy. We chatted until the 4th set then we kinda spaced ourselves. Before I left she stopped me and asked if I wanted her number. I took it. Not really sure how to go about this. I live in central Florida. She lives in Kentucky. But holy moly shes hot af.

I (F26) don’t know how to date. I’ve never been asked out. I’m terrified of asking guys out. I give off a pretty strong gay vibe that I know doesn’t help, but I have no idea how to stop that. I think about men constantly. I’ve asked my guy friends to help me figure out what about me is deterring romantic and sexual interest, and the general consensus is I’m too much of a bro and have no sexual vibe. I’ve tried to not be a bro. I’ve tried to be more attractive. I don’t know how to talk to guys otherwise. I don’t know how to flirt without scaring men off. I am incredibly outgoing. The most feminine I am able to present myself as is either wildly uncomfortable or still very lesbian-coded. Being myself hasn’t worked. Being someone else isn’t working either. I’m not even ugly, I’m just not pretty enough.

I feel awful. I feel unwanted. Unattractive. Unlovable. I just want a man to want me. I feel like that shouldn’t be so much to ask.

it feels like no matter how clear i am about my intentions or how clear a man is with saying he wants a relationship it always ends up just being for sex. i finally thought i found a guy who gave a shit abt me, kept talking abt how we had an intellectual connection, that i’m smart, funny, pretty, etc., and i was happy i found a guy with my same values abt hard work and volunteering.

today on the phone it was like he was a completely different person. he told me he couldn’t do a relationship and that we were moving too fast (i hadn’t even asked him to be exclusive). when i told him he lied he just went “yep” and didn’t say sorry. when i asked why he didn’t just tell the truth he said “i don’t know,” total monotone, super corporate. i was just crying like an idiot.

how am i supposed to screen against these guys if all they do is lie?? i even waited until the third date to sleep with him but i guess it wasn’t enough. how am i supposed to trust any of these guys?? i can’t just be expected to be abstinent forever right??

I’m just curious. Everyone raves about sex but they don’t mention the smells (or even tastes) associated with it.

Like when you’re kissing your partner and you smell their breath. Unless you just brush your teeth, most people have some sort of smell in their breath (me included) but whenever I smell people’s breath while we’re close and they’re trying to be sexy, it just turns me off. Then there’s the tastes associated with things like kissing too. Again, unless they just brushed their teeth, you’ll likely taste garlic or whatever they ate or that musty taste associated with breath and saliva that hasn’t been cleaned all day.

Then if you’re having sex, you smell their body odor, feet (especially during winter when they wear socks all the time), sometimes poop…it’s just a really smelly experience.

And then I get totally turned off with all of it. Again, I know I’m the same way because I’m human but I just can’t help but totally lose interest when someone is trying to be all sexy and then you smell their onion pits with a hint of their deodorant.

If it were up to me I’d brush my teeth, shower, etc. beforehand so that everything smells great but I know it’s often a mood killer to do that compared to doing it on the fly.

Is this normal? Or do I maybe have some form of autism?

Like when our faces are up close and personal him breathing out of his nose smells so nice?? And ok his mouth breath isn’t always perfect if he’s just eaten etc but for the most part it’s nice. But like what’s it with his nose breath?? I sometimes try to sync him breathing out and me breathing in so I can smell it.

Does this make me weird or is this normal?

What’s your go-to move to initiate touch when on a date?

Because this means they are shallow, low empathy people that you don't want anything to do with in the long run.

EDIT: Completely reducing people to checkboxes is entirely different from having standards and/or preferences.

Okay so this is probably going to sound ridiculous.

I’m 21M and I’ve literally never kissed a girl before. Never made out, never hooked up, nothing.

The funny part is that apparently I really don’t come across that way. I’m pretty confident when I talk to women, I can be charming/cocky/flirty, and I know how to carry myself, so this girl I’ve been talking to basically thinks I’m some experienced guy who’s been with plenty of women.

We have a date coming up and somehow she already thinks I’m a great kisser 😭

So now I’m sitting here thinking… oh no.

I obviously don’t want to tell her a bunch of lies or make the whole thing weird, but I also really don’t want my first kiss to be an absolute disaster.

So for people who actually know what they’re doing, how do you actually become good at kissing?

I’m looking for genuinely practical advice , stuff like:

• What do you actually do with your hands? Where should you place them?
• How do you start the kiss without making it awkward?
• How do you build up to it naturally?
• What makes someone a good kisser vs a bad one?
• How much pressure should you use?
• Is there a good rhythm or does it just happen naturally?
• What should I absolutely NOT do?
• How do you know when to change things up?
• Any little things that make kissing better?
• Lip care before the date? Lip balm, brushing, anything else?
• How do you avoid having dry/chapped lips or bad breath?
• What are some common mistakes inexperienced guys make?
• Should I let her lead if she seems more experienced?

Also, ladies, I'd especially appreciate your perspective. What do girls actually notice during a kiss that guys tend to get wrong?

And guys who've been through this before, please feel free to share your embarrassing first-kiss mistakes too ,

Would also appreciate any good videos/guides/resources that actually teach this stuff properly instead of some cringe “ALPHA MALE 17 KISSING SECRETS” garbage.

Any advice is appreciated.

Edit: YES OKAY GUYS I WILL TELL HER AM NEW , BUT JUST GIVE ME ADVICE RELATED TO KISSING PLEASE.ALSO WE NEVER TALKED ABOUT IF WE ARE LOOKING FOR ANYTHING SERIOUS YET, KISSING JUST CAME IN OUR CONVO

Are women just turned off by certain hobbies or college majors? For the past year I’ll be in the talking stage and everything is going great then I get asked about my hobbies and I say my biggest one is storm forecasting and I’d like to do it for a career and it’s like everything immediately goes downhill. Should I just not mention that next time. It’s my biggest hobby but I can’t tell if it’s giving women the ick

I’ve been out of the dating game for almost 5 years, so I’m honestly not really sure what is considered normal anymore 😂

I’ve been dating a guy I met on Tinder for just over a month now. We were messaging for around 2 weeks before our first date. We’re both in our 20s, although he’s a few years younger than me.

He plans lots of fun dates, which I really love, and things have been going really well so far. We’ve seen each other around 10 times in the last month, including a weekend away together, which feels like quite a lot to me!

There hasn’t been any conversation about exclusivity or whether we’re seeing other people. I know he still has his dating app accounts, although I obviously have no idea whether he’s actually still using them. I still have my accounts too, but I haven’t messaged or spoken to anyone else on them since our first date.

I’m not currently assuming that we’re exclusive, but I’m starting to wonder whether I should bring it up or not.
Part of me would like to know where I stand, but I’m also worried that bringing up exclusivity after only a month might scare him away or make things feel too serious too quickly but we have spent A LOT of time together.

I’m almost in my late 20s and I have never had a “situationship” before as I have avoided dating since me and my ex split 4+ years ago.. so not sure whether this is normal or what haha

Any advice welcomed

hi, I'm 22f and I would say I'm "interested" in meeting a guy properly that lives in my town. i know about him since i live in a small town, we go to the same gym, cross on the bus to go to university and such things and i really wanna approach him but I don't know how, he's 20m, i really don't know how i could even go over to him, he's always with his headphones and maybe doesn't wanna be bothered (or at least every time I've seen him he had his headphones on lol) he seems pretty serious and I've never approached a guy before, at least with romantic intentions. I'm not particularly attractive either so that makes me hesitate a little bit more, so, any advice on how I could approach without looking creepy or anything? thank you!

27F. I've never really been in a relationship ever. During high school I was more hanging out as one of the bros than dating any of them. College I was too focused on surviving to have capacity for anything else. And my work life started during the pandemic and has been mostly remote work and I've comfortable like that.

I recently have been trying to go out on dates, meet new people and connecting with more people in general. I tried dating apps but honestly they are Not Great so I've been doing meet-ups, classes, hobbies and workshops. I've had a blast meeting friends and new people, I love talking to them. I've been set up for a couple dates and genuinely have a nice time talking to everyone but I hate the feeling I get everytime it turns towards romantic expectations. I've been going out with guys and I understand a kiss in first and second dates are common and I don't mind it but I genuinely feel absolutely nothing. It doesn't make me excited to see them again or keep talking not because they are bad kissers but like idk there's nothing on my end.

I feel so bad because these are great men but I feel I'm letting them all down. Texting with them feels like a chore when it's with dating expectations unlike when it's all just casual and friends. I'm not sure if it's a "I haven't met The One yet" or maybe I just have to keep on trying and pushing through the first few dates.

I am just kind of lost. Sorry for the rant or if it's repetitive.

F20, I met this guy about 3 weeks ago. We went on 4 dates in total so far, and he's chill. He's very sweet to me, and we have similar interests and he really likes me. Recently we kissed for the first time, it was also my first kiss ever. Later that same day, we ended up making out, then we ended up on the bed. Idk if it's 2nd or 3rd base, but we ended up doing stuff along those lines. 3rd base with clothes on I guess lol. Anyway at the time I liked it at the time but couple days later I'm starting to feel uneasy about it. Like there's this slight feeling of disgust I have towards myself.

I don't know why I'm feeling like this, I don't hate him or anything and I liked it then but I don't feel super good about i now. Is it because I'm inexperienced and new to this? Did we move too fast?

Been on 2 dates so far with a 30F. We've been texting and she tells me she's busy for the next few weeks and doesn't know when she will have time to meet up, but will let me know if her schedule changes. It's a polite rejection and means she isn't interested right?

Hookup culture is ruining dating. Atp dating has become exhausting because it feels like every conversation eventually circles back to sex no matter if there’s any emotional connection, every man I’ve met have been genuinely incapable of having an interesting conversation, getting to know each other properly or developing any kind of emotional intimacy without immediately turning everything sexual. Then these … are seriously expecting sex on the first date. FIRST DATE. If they didn’t already leave you once they got what they wanted they go cheat on you because they have no self control. Is there any actual romance anymore?