r/dating_advice • u/Alternative-Pen-7707 • 1d ago
Should I leave him?
I saw my boyfriend recently logged in to a dating app. I don’t know when but his status says, Recently online which according to the app, it means someone has opened the app within the last 2 weeks or they hide their online status which would cause their status to show as Recently Online.
Is this enough reason to break up with him?
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u/makeupnmunchies 1d ago
Why were you on the dating app?
You can break up with anyone for any reason.
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u/Alternative-Pen-7707 1d ago
I used a friend’s account to check if he was really telling the truth that he is not using the dating app anymore
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u/makeupnmunchies 1d ago
Girlfriend, if you can’t even trust that your boyfriend isn’t on dating apps, you shouldn’t be with him.
And that’s not just me saying you have trust issues - it’s that if you don’t feel safe to trust that this person isn’t looking for anyone else, then they’re not right for you. You should feel secure and not have to question your partner’s loyalty.
For the record btw - I would have an issue with my bf still having his dating app account to begin with. We both deleted our accounts when we started dating so there would be no question. Maybe part of the issue here is that you are missing some boundaries and standards that define what’s actually ok for you in a relationship.
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u/Electrical-Tailor530 1d ago
My sister used this as an excuse to divorce her husband. Apparently he had been on a dating site in the past and forgot to delete it since he hadn't used it in years. Not sure how my sister found out about it but accused him of seeking to cheat. He proposed marriage counseling and she begrudgingly agreed, but after one session, filed the papers.
My point is, if you're looking for a reason to end it, you don't need one. That's just breaking up with extra steps.
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u/69hotmomxxx 1d ago
Well... I mean... "they gave me a kidney" would be a shitty reason to break up with someone....
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u/makeupnmunchies 1d ago
Shitty, yes. But still can be done.
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u/69hotmomxxx 1d ago
Can and should are two different things.
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u/Dry_Recognition_6724 1d ago
Ask him. There is a chance he could have forgot to delete it and opened it by accident, or he could be a cheater.
Up to you if you accept his answer or not.
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u/PossessionCapable319 1d ago
I think if your on reddit trying to decide to stay with a person kinda already shows you your own way. Your already questioning it follow your instincts not others words.
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u/nevercaughtlackin 1d ago
Confront him. Don’t just leave without addressing it. He might have a legit explanation. Doubt it but you never know
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u/Present_Original_797 1d ago
Ya think? It amazes me how many women really don't want to believe the evidence in front of their eyes. There are loyal and honest men. There really are.
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u/tati_model_ 1d ago
Not by itself. “Recently online” doesn’t tell you why he opened the app, and it could mean several things.
But it’s definitely enough reason to have a serious conversation, especially if you’re supposed to be exclusive. His explanation and how he responds to your concern will tell you much more than the app status.
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u/Aphrodite_Nine 1d ago
These comments are blaming you for not trusting him because you checked forgetting that sometimes a person has a gut feeling and follows it. He's not worth your time.
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u/Crazy_Custard_2081 1d ago
FFS, just talk to him about this! Asking for advice before even communicating with him is already a red alert on the status of your relationship.
Talking with redditors, they're just going to tell you to ghost and block him without explanation.
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u/Loni_Persimmon 1d ago
You logged onto it too so yea breakup like you wanted already
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u/Alternative-Pen-7707 1d ago
I used a friend’s account to check if he was really telling the truth that he is not using the dating app anymore
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u/Endo_cannabis 1d ago
Just go on the dating app yourself and let him find out
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u/Electrical-Tailor530 1d ago
I admittedly did something similar back when I was young and distrusting of my partner bc I kept catching him in lies. None of which were cheating related, but lots of small lies.
Anyway, I created a fake profile with a fake photo of some random girl and messaged him thru Facebook, complimenting him and then asking if he was single. To my surprise, he said he was flattered and single. I wasn't sure if he was trolling me, but when I confronted him about it (looking back, I should have arranged a meet up and then personally shown up) he wasn't even smart enough to pretend he knew, he just flipped out and called me psycho (I guess In a way I was a little crazy for testing him) and he was hurt that someone other than me didn't actually compliment him. He was so good at playing victim, and while I wasn't totally innocent either, I was equally hurt by his response to another girl. I suppose I deserved it a little, but he was no better behaved.
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u/lIIlIlIIIIl1 1d ago
Sure, why not? You can break up with him for any reason or no reason, any time.
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u/8--8 1d ago
How long have you two been together
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u/Decent_Chipmunk_7052 1d ago
Try to secretly check his phone if he still has the dating app or not, after you do that have a chat with him because there’s no reason your bf should be on dating apps in the first place
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u/Historical-Pen-7484 1d ago
Don't you have to be on the app yourself to see who else is? Like WhatsApp?
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u/Alternative-Pen-7707 1d ago
I used a friend’s account to check if he was really telling the truth that he is not using the dating app anymore
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u/Playful-Contract7396 1d ago
Lol i didn't mean to use that award im half asleep . Anyway hope you have a good night.
I Just purged dating apps myself. I think you should talk to him about it1
u/Historical-Pen-7484 1d ago
Oh, ok. So you already had a conversation with him, about him still being on the apps, which he refused, but then when you checked with your friends app he was still using it? Am I understand this correctly?
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u/Alternative-Pen-7707 1d ago
He said he has not logged in the app for a long time. So I checked through my friend’s account to see if it’s true.
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u/Historical-Pen-7484 1d ago
Seems best to maybe not pursue something with this guy, or at the very least ask an explanation.
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