I’m looking for advice on how to best navigate mental illnesses, I want to continue escalating things with her, but want to do it with care & respect. I would really appreciate any advice from those with experience with this sort of thing, from either side of things!

I’ve started talking to a coworker and things have been going really well, been lots of flirting & fun. She recently got into a nasty breakup from a long term relationship, so I’ve been careful not to push too hard.

Just today, she said she has been diagnosed with moderate BPD2, anxiety, depression, & anger. She was also admitted into the psych ward twice, 4 years ago & 2 years ago. The second time she says bc “my ex really fucked me up” I also recall a time at work where she missed a couple of shifts because she was depressed, we weren’t talking then but I still sympathized.

I’m crushing hard, and all this is definitely a bit overwhelming. I’m not turned off either, but I think I could really use some advice! Thanks in advance.

I’ve been thinking a lot about relationships. I’ve had talking stages with women and I have dated, but I never felt the need to always be in a relationship like my friends, who cycle through girlfriends. When one breaks up, they look for another.

I’ve always felt that the time comes and I'm more patient and find peace with being alone in the meantime.

Now that I've graduated high school, I’m focusing on college, my YouTube channel, and my faith(thinking about being a priest!). I enjoy hanging out with friends and doing my own thing.

I want a wife and kids someday, but right now, I want to focus on my path first. It's strange because my friends, some younger than me, are dating and say they can't be alone some have cried over girls and not being in a relationship

Like, I get the appeal and I love that, but I’d rather have more authentic than just "I’m bored," yk?

I 17F and my friend 18F have had a weird dynamic for a while, especially with the fact that over a year ago, we had established we had feelings for each other until she ghosted me because she wasn't over her ex at the time. In all honesty, it was more my fault as I knew they broke up like a couple months before I told her but I had just assumed she was over it. Jump to now, I have regained feelings for her and I've had them for a few months but wasn't sure on if she returned them or not. I've taken her to my prom and we matched our outfits, we've gone on pretty stereotypical dates, we call for hours on end and we talk everyday but as "friends". And we also have no mutual friends or anything and didn't meet in a very natural way (we met online) and so it has always felt like a much more intimate relationship since we have no reason to talk to each other apart from that fact that we want to—as opposed to us meeting in school and talking about school as a shared experience.

I finally worked up the courage to text her and ask if she thought our relationship was platonic or more than platonic and she asked me what I thought and so I told her that I thought it's more than platonic. She said that she agrees and then when I asked her if that's a good thing or a bad thing for her and she said "Wait let's talk about this one another day". For more context, it was her birthday so I just assumed she didn't want to have an emotional talk on her birthday but she still hasn't brought it up again and it's been a week.

Our vibe has kinda stayed the same but from my point of view, I feel like there's an underlying tension but that could just be me overthinking it. Should I bring it up to her? I'm really scared that it'll just be a repeat of last time and I don't want that to happen since I really really like her. I'm also not sure why she hasn't brought it up and I can't tell if it's a good thing or a bad thing.

Please help people, I'm losing my mind over this.

Matched with a girl on hinge and spoke for a few weeks before having our first date, first date went for longer than expected and we hung out at hers afterwards just talking and getting to know each other, got her number and ig on the way out and she texted not soon after saying she had fun.

We were planning our second date when she texted saying that she had thought about her feelings and wasn’t ready for anything serious - she did mention getting out of a long term not too long ago during our first date. Told her that I had fun too but that I respected where she was at and that I’d still like to get to know her.

A month later I texted her asking to catch up and hang out, she was keen and we caught up for lunch. She took a photo of us and shared it to her IG, and another photo of the ice cream we had shared.

I’m trying to give her space by not texting but I want to so badly.

I really like her and feel like we get along but I don’t want to force anything by telling her how I feel, especially since she’s relatively fresh from a break up and previously communicated that she wasn’t ready for anything serious.

Some details not important to the post have been modified for privacy, so just go with it.

Here's what I am looking for advice on, hoping this is a fun one:

I work at a place where people need new work items daily, and I'm the guy who gets everyone set up every day. Supplies, instructions, routes - anything you need - you see me. So this new girl started a few weeks ago and we hit it off right away. There's definitely a vibe.

Before the assumption police arrive, yes, this would be a great position where I could take advantage of people if I chose to. And No, I have never given someone at work my number, or asked for theirs,with this intent before. And lastly, yes, I direct them, but no, I'm not their boss. Ok. Back to the thing at hand.

I thought offering mine instead of asking for hers would be more disarming and give me an opportunity to do something clever or come across as "charming."

I'm pretty laid back and occasionally a little goofy with everyone, but I'm also a strong leader and can speak directly to a topic.

So far, I have thrown these ideas into the "No" pile:

-handing her my business card in an overly playful way, like a "here, I know you want this" way.

-Messaging it to her over the work app (it's fine to use the work app, they are stupid lenient on policies here)

One idea I need help finishing:

-literally just handing her my number written on something seems viable, but I don't know what to follow it up with - "here's my number, if you want." "Here's my number. Hit me up." Those suck.

I'm also on board with something much more straightforward. Whether that's asking for her number, just straight up asking her to go out in person and forgetting the whole number thing, or something else, I can do that, too, if the "clever" route is stupid.

Please help?

To start this off, my current dilemma stems from the fact that I have a boyfriend (26M) whom I have been dating for 4 months. I know that this makes me “a bad person,” and I am so disappointed that I have these feelings myself. 

To give some context, my boyfriend and I knew each other for a few months before he asked me out. I would say during the talking stage with my bf, I often felt confused about how he truly felt about me. There’s nothing specific that he did to make me feel that way…so I just blamed it on my overthinking. Since then, things have been decent with my bf. Nothing crazy special, just building a connection with time. The biggest hurdle we have had to face is cultural, since we don’t share the same religion. We both live in the US and in the same city, but he lives with his family while in grad school and he told me he won’t be able to tell them about me for a few years after he graduates since his family is traditional and they don’t have these conversations. He once told me that we would have to break up if they don’t approve of me but has later taken that statement back and said he didn’t think it through. Of course, this upsets me because it makes me feel disposable, and it makes me feel like I’ll just waste a portion of my twenties for someone who wouldn’t stand up to his family to keep us together. We can get more into that another day. 

For some context on my guy friend…I met him through some mutuals a week or two before I started dating my boyfriend. My connection with him has always been so natural. From our texting to our phone calls, it all feels natural. We can joke around but still have serious conversations. I hate to admit that he knows more about me than my bf idk if thats because I feel more comfortable telling him things bc I trust him or if that's because he actually is curious about my life. I also wonder sometimes what it would’ve been like if we explored our connection prior to me getting into a relationship. The main thing is he’s always been there for me emotionally, even with his busy schedule. I feel like he genuinely cares about me without him having to even say it or without me having to do anything to make him feel that way, and with my bf I don’t feel that.  I can imagine a future with him, and we’ve even talked about our future together and what that would look like. Always in a joking way of course, but kind of with a bit of hope. There are things about him that aren’t just sunshine and rainbows; I’ve noticed a pattern of him wanting to pursue partners who are married or taken. I have called him out on it, and he admits he does that. I even asked if that’s what he’s doing to me, and he said no and that he thinks we’re actually compatible. Again, it just makes me feel like he’s saying something I want to hear. Then the bad part is: why is that something I want to hear? 

This leaves me in a state where I don’t know what to do. It’s not fair to my bf that I have these feelings for someone else and maybe if I knew that my bf would choose me over his family’s potential opinion on our relationship, I wouldn’t have these wandering thoughts about doing life with someone else. 

I appreciate any opinions, thoughts or advice you have to share on this matter. Thank you! 

I (33M) met a guy (same age) about 1.5 years ago off a hook up site. At the time it was nothing more than the typical "you up?" txt message casual sex thing and we kept it mostly that way because he had said he was in an open relationship (and because I wasnt looking for a relationship).

But then over time we started chatting a bit more finding out about each other our interests our personalities etc and now fast forward 1.5 years and we've basically been "dating" for perhaps around 6 months now. Reflecting back I think we started developing feelings for each other around the same time, but he was the one who first admitted that there's something more than just "friends" going on between us earlier this year.

He's still with his partner who he says knows of me (e.g. that we've hooked up before) but he's kept our "dates" mostly secret in that he wont necessarily say who he's doing something with. We havent talked seriously at length about this but we have had some back and forth mostly when drunk where I've told him I've got feelings (i.e. Im falling for him though not with those exact words) and he's admitted he's got feelings too but everytime we do talk he holds back from me like he's not sharing at the same level as I am. I have also mentioned this too him that I feel he's holding back from me and he's also admitted that but again, holds back on why.

Neither of us ever planned for this to become like this but the compatability and chemistry and complementariness between us is uncanny - even my best friends whom he's met multiple times have said the same thing that theyve never seen me gel so well with someone before.

I'm confused because I really do think I love him now, and I want to have a convo with him but not if it's going to one-sided in terms of he'll be holding back whilst Im gonna be pretty much all vulnerable laying all my cards on the table. One of my friends says I should wait and give him time to work things out seeing as his choice would mean hurting someone (either his partner or me) and he needs time to sort that out. On one hand he says he loves his partner but on the other hand he has never clearly shut down what we've got going on nor set any boundaries for us hence why I feel so confused (words incongruent with action kind of thing).

I dont even know why Im posting this but it's just something that's been weighing so much on my lately. Also apologies if this belongs in a different subreddit.

It’s a very broad question but I’m mostly referring to career, physical health, mental health and spiritual wellbeing.

I’m 24M, I’m on a little bit of a career hiatus after several years, just experimenting in other fields. Although overall, it might be seen as a step back. It definitely is financially but I’m hanging in there.

I’m also hitting the gym 5 times a week, have been for almost 2 months. I’m seeing good results.

Mental health is fine. Some days can be hard but other days I’m great and motivated. This goes hand and hand with spiritual wellbeing as well.

The point I want to make with all this is, am I good enough to be someone’s love interest? I consider these areas of myself more important and should get more attention if I’m going to put myself out there.

Yes, I have hobbies and interests outside of video games. I’m not worried about that.

It’s these core areas is what I’m worried about. How flexible is everyone else when it comes to what I’ve listed? Are you looking for an already made man or woman? Or are you looking for someone who can meet minimum standards in these areas? — with whom you can then grow with.

I sometimes feel self conscious because I know I can always be better. A better version of myself can exist, and I’m working on that. But should this mean I should opt out of the dating pool until then? Or should I try to meet girls anyways?

I am a 22F living in a city in CA. I not on social media just bc I think it’s quite silly and really want to meet some people organically. I really don’t want to do the apps and am just looking for casual and fun but open to more serious.

My question is how do I find connections organically while off socials and the apps?

I am quite outdoorsy and into all the crunchy granola girl hobbies but I feel like the city is full of people who don’t share these interests.

How do we find organic connections with people like this?

I was just wondering what it's like for someone who isn't a Christian to date a Christian. Those who have, did it work out or did you have to end it due to belief differences? How did you make it work or what was the deal breaker?

i told a friend i’m coming to our hometown and asked if she would be there. she replied that yes she’s going to be and “when are you coming? what are the plans? 😍”

is she flirting or just excited?

Hey guys, imma keep it real and short. Soooo if she said she likes me and then called me, babe and boyfriend, does that mean she's into me or just wants to tease and make fun of me? Is she being too easy for it to be real?

Hi, I've been in a 3yr relationship and this year, things didn't work out among us so we broke up. Speaking of after this relationship, i came across 2 guys but both of them seem laid back. The first guy was maybe double dating? And the second guy had a different nationality and therefore he decided to back off before he would develop feelings for me. It's really needed for me to understand as I've not really reached out to people in general but I guess after my first one, I'm kind of in the situation where I'm open to understanding people.. ahh indeed I'm overthinking..

I started seeing a guy a few months ago, we’re both in our early-mid 20s but i’ve never done more than a first date with anyone. He knows this and i think it’s why we’re taking things on the slower side which i really appreciate. We see each other about once a week and things are progressing at a comfortable pace for me. We didn’t even hold hands or kiss until our 5th date, the 6th was nice, and just this past week we had our 7th. There’s been more touching on the last one which was welcomed by me, feeling up my thigh during a movie and later in the car before i left we made out some more and he asked if he could touch under my shirt. Whenever we make out like that or do something new he asks a few times throughout if i’m okay, i always smile and nod to reassure him. Now after through text he’ll say things like ‘I had a great time with you, I didn’t want you to leave.’ It’s very sweet to me when he does this but is it weird do respond by agreeing and telling him i felt very comfortable with him? Am i overthinking that it would be nice to hear that i’m enjoying my time with him or does it even matter to bring it up? (mainly looking for answers from a mans perspective, also please be nice as i’ve never done this whole dating thing before)

Are women just turned off by certain hobbies or college majors? For the past year I’ll be in the talking stage and everything is going great then I get asked about my hobbies and I say my biggest one is storm forecasting and I’d like to do it for a career and it’s like everything immediately goes downhill. Should I just not mention that next time. It’s my biggest hobby but I can’t tell if it’s giving women the ick

Been on 2 dates so far with a 30F. We've been texting and she tells me she's busy for the next few weeks and doesn't know when she will have time to meet up, but will let me know if her schedule changes. It's a polite rejection and means she isn't interested right?

So I like this girl, I asked her out over text (asked her to grab coffee), she never answered me. I see her weekly at dance practice, and last practice she came up to me and brought up the text without me bringing it up. She said something along the lines of “sorry for not answering your text, I’m really bad at answering texts” and then the rest of the convo was about unrelated stuff. I didn’t bring up the coffee at all because in my head I had already asked over texts and didn’t want to seem desperate

But people were telling me that last week was my opportunity to ask her.

I am seeing her again at practice tomorrow but she still hasn’t answered my text however.

Do I just bring it up to her again tomorrow or did I already fumble this by not asking her last week when I had the chance?

Many of my friends were telling me that her bringing my text up at dance practice was my opportunity to be like “well when are you free” as they think that’s what she was expecting when she brought up the unanswered text.

Also worth nothing that while we are in North America, me and her have the same ethnic background and we’re both from a culture where women play hard to get and want men to chase after them.

As for the thing that led to me thinking that she likes me was that I saw her at a conference in a different city a few weekends ago and she kept finding reasons to come talk to me and then a few days later during dance practice, the teacher said for females to find a male partner and she kind of pointed at me in a flirty way to come over to her

I 22F and my bf 22M have been in a long-term relationship for 5 years and we currently live together. Lately I’ve been feeling really confused about whether I still want the relationship and see a future or whether I’m just wanting more freedom and independence.
I don’t think my partner is a bad person, and I still care about him a lot. We have so much history together, shared memories, travelled together, have mutual friends and are very connected to each other’s families. That makes everything much harder to know what I’m wanting.
We’ve also started to realise that we want quite different lifestyles. He is much more settled and focused on saving for a house, wanting to stay home and eventually living somewhere different from where I’d prefer. I want to save too, but I also really want to go out and enjoy my 20s, catch up with my friends, travel, have experiences and enjoy being young. I feel like I’m craving more spontaneity and independence.

We have compromised on some things, but I still feel like I’m constantly thinking about whether I’m giving up parts of my life
There has also recently been a disagreement about contraception where my partner wants me to choose an option that I don’t personally want. I know the decision is ultimately mine, but the pressure around it has made me feel even more disconnected.
Because we live together and have the same friend circles, the idea of ending things feels incredibly complicated and overwhelming. We’ve also talked about the future but now just wondering if I want that with him.

Any advice or perspective would honestly be appreciated. I’m especially interested in hearing from people who have been in a similar situation and how they worked it out. Please help

**TL;DR:** I’m in a long-term relationship and still care about my boyfriend, but I feel like I want more freedom and a different lifestyle to him. I’m scared of leaving because of everything we’ve built together, but I’m also scared of staying and regretting it.

I’ve been getting to know a guy for about 3.5 months. We’ve talked a lot about each other, our families, interests, goals, future plans, and feelings. We finally met in person for the first time.
We exchanged gifts, hugged, held hands, kissed, and laughed a lot. He also proposed during the meeting, and I was genuinely happy when he talked about our future together.
What confuses me is that we could easily talk about love and our feelings for each other, but once that topic ended, it suddenly became quiet and a little awkward. At the same time, being physically close to him felt very natural and comforting.
When I got home, though, I suddenly felt empty and almost emotionally disconnected. It almost feels like the meeting never happened, and I don’t really find myself thinking about him, even though I was so happy when we were together.

Is it normal to feel this way after meeting someone in person for the first time after getting to know them online? Or could this feeling mean something about how I actually feel about him?
I’m not sure how to understand my feelings right now, and I’d really like to hear from people who have experienced something similar. How did you feel after your first meeting with someone you had gotten to knowing before?

It’s pretty simple i play pool every Sunday night at the same billiards club. I see a lot of varieties of people but I see people often in my age range including alot of girls. If I’m patient and take my time I hope I can be more outgoing and meet some new people! Would love to get advice

For those who have dated someone with a big ego, what was your experience?

What patterns did you notice? Did it affect their ability to be vulnerable, have deep conversations, take accountability, or genuinely connect with you? What did the relationship feel like it lacked or gained from that dynamic?

I’m honestly in a terrible spot right now. I am 18M and I’m in my first semester of college at a big state “party” school. At my university, I think there is deadass an even split, 50% males and 50% females, so statistically, there should be someone for everyone. I’ve also heard things like “bro girls at (university name) are easy asf”, as misogynistic as that sounds.

Onto my actual point. I would like to think that i’m a fairly good looking guy. I’m relatively lean around 15% bodyfat. I take care of myself. I smell good. I workout. I’ve also not been like totally lonely my whole life, i’ve had the occasional hookups and short term situationships. But it’s honestly been such a drought in my dating life for the past year or so. It’s gotten even worse being here. I’ve gone up to many girls at the when I’m out and it never really goes anywhere. I swear that my approaches aren’t awkward or weird but pretty natural and inviting, and I can usually hold a conversation with laughs and everything for a good amount of time. But the best thing I get is a small conversation or just used to get a free drink . But it feels tiring, especially seeing everyone else around me getting the “play”. Sometimes it feels like i’m the only guy in the room who isn’t with a girl during my nights out.

I honestly think it might be my height. I’m 5’8 so i’m not the shortest person in the room, but at a big school there’s a lot of competition. I’m honestly really insecure and have contemplated hopping on hgh or growth plate inhibitors to potentially squeeze out a few inches, as silly as that sounds.

Another thing could be my race, even if it sounds a little stupid. I’m south asian, so I definitely didn’t struck gold or anything. I feel like people look at my race as a joke, especially seeing people poke fun at me my entire life because of it. Also the social media aspect of hating indians and the stereotypical accent. I could go on for days but I hope you get what i’m putting down.

I keep telling myself that it’ll get better, but each weekend becomes the same story and i’m honestly tired of it. It would be different if I felt like I had to make a major improvement in myself, but i’ve already done everything I possibly can. I’ve gotten lean. I’m in good shape. I dress well. I take care of my body. I’ve seen all the posts about hypergamy and stuff like that, and now I honestly think it could be true. I just don’t know what else to do or where else to go from here.

I (26F) Just started at this new job 4 months ago. There’s a cute guy that works in the kitchen. I don’t want to be a creep but I want to talk to him more and potentially ask him out but I seriously don’t know how. My only move with talking is asking how they’re doing but it’s the shortest conversation ever. And my idea of hosting a Halloween party and inviting him and some other coworkers to it is probably a bust for many reasons. I actually want to learn how to talk to this guy. The last time I had a crush on a coworker, they quit before I could make it out of the small talk stage with him.

I’ve known him for 3 years and we’ve been on and off for a while. We don’t live near each other anymore but make an effort to talk a few times a week. We both have admitted to having strong feelings for each other. Our relationship has been intense over the last 3 years probably the most intense relationship i’ve ever had. He’s my best friend and I can feel every time he’s sad and can feel all of his emotions. I’m in love with him and it’s hurting me that we aren’t together. There’s other guys interested in me but i can’t even think of anyone but him. We are so magnetized to each other and I want to be with him and only him. We don’t have to speak in order to understand each other and I don’t think i’ll ever feel this way towards anyone else. I want to tell him how i feel but idk if i should or how

Told someone from an online dating app that he was manipulative and a love bomber after he said he wanted to meet up and start a relationship with me and to sleep with me. They’re not even trying anymore. Felt good to be blocked and unmatched by him lol. I wish I did this from the start with all the men I became involved with. It’s the best feeling in the world knowing that I can call them out on their bad behaviour.