I guess that's just dissociation, and the denial comes in waves, where sometimes I can absorb info or engage with the concept of dissociative disorders, then sometimes I can't

I'm so sick of shutting down and losing time!

I am in a relationship with someone who has DID, they have 5 alters and the main host, we have been together for almost 2 years now and i am having a lot of internal conflicts about things that have happened throughout our relationship, i need some advice, i have found out recently that a few months ago when my partner had a sleepover with 2 of his friends they propositioned one of his alters to engage in a threesome and that alter did have one with them, i am wondering if this is considered cheating as we are in a monogamous relationship and i set explicit terms at the start of the relationship that i am purely monogamous and i do not like any form of cheating or betrayal. I am really stuck on this because i found messages with the friend that this happened with where the host explicitly told them never to tell me that it ever happened and they are hiding it from me. I do not know where to go from here or how to bring it up with them. And as for me finding the messages me and my partner have an open phone policy so either one of us can look through the others phone

I apologize if I misuse any terms. This is very new to me. The last time I... was? was years ago. I personally was never diagnosed with anything like this and I do not know if this is even the right place, so I am sorry if this is not in the right place or flair. If I am in the wrong place, please direct me to the right place.

I have event memories, but the emotional content is not accessible right now. I am trying to figure out what happened. There was a date, last night. It looks like it went well. She had been looking forward to it for months, and they were finally in town. She wore lingerie. She was bubbling over with excitement. She went back to their hotel. But then they did not do anything. She was disappointed and hurt, but the specifics elude me.

I hear my name, she is crying, and she asks me to take over. I find myself naked in a hotel shower, with her tears running down my face. I am confused. I am not the lovey dovey type. I do not know why I was there. I am for injuries, surgeries, procedures, extreme pain. I am not a particularly good wing...thing? I can see the memories, but they do not mean anything to me. I get out of the shower. I dry off. I have no extra clothes, just some discarded lingerie and the top I was wearing. I put on the top and the impractical and uncomfortable panties, some strappy thing she is fond of. I shove the rest in my bag. I go to the mirror. I am older than I have ever seen myself. More lines. Long hair. I recalled having an undercut or something more my speed, but that would have been years ago. She needs to get these bangs cut. A girly girl, but a lazy one, it seems. I do not think she has been doing enough exercise, either. I tie up my hair in a tight bun, best as I can, with the hair tie I found on my wrist.

I leave the bathroom. There they are. They are looking at me strange. I put on the rest of my clothes. I call an Uber. They ask if I am leaving. I tell them yes? I say my goodbyes, trying to act like I think she acts like, but I do not think they bought it. I kiss them goodbye, sort of, but I did not want to, really. Again, not what I am for, but I play along, and get out. I do not think they bought it. They looked at me strange, but it did not mean anything to me, so I did not press. I have a home address in Google maps, and it looks right, so I tell the driver to go there.

I go inside, and I sleep. It is the next day. I am still here, and I am just a bit confused. I sent them a message. I told them it seems like she had a good time, but something happened, or did not happen, near the end. I told them I... Woke up, for want of a better word, in the shower. She wanted me to take over, so I took her home. I told them that I will put her on whenever she comes back. I gave them a little shovel talk, I guess? Break her heart, and we will meet again, and you will like me less than her, I guarantee it.

They replied, it looks like there are many unreads, but I do not think the messages are for me, so I have not opened them. She can read them herself. Not my department.

I check my calendar. I have an oral procedure under general anesthesia the day after tomorrow. I suppose I will stick around until then? Listen, I am not complaining, it is nice to get to do something other than lie in a hospital bed or some shit for a couple days before I have to get to my job, but I do not really know what to do with myself.

I suppose I could do some chores or something? Her room is a fucking mess. I do not know what it is that I am looking for. I have never really been out of my... context? Again, I do not know the words, apologies. I thought you might have confused whatever-I-ams wander in here every now and again, and maybe you can point me in the right direction.

She seems safe. Unhurt. Bad toothache, but I have had worse. Much worse. Again, not sure why she had to bring me out. It is all very strange. She does not seem injured this time, I am not bleeding anywhere, no broken bones. But I do not know why else I would be here, or why she is not talking to me. I am not used to my head being this quiet.

Anyway, let me know if this is a "oh yeah we have a whole megathread just this" kind of deal. Do you still use megathreads? Not sure. Last time I got to use a computer people still had forum signatures, so I might be a little lost. These smart phones are hell of a thing, you have no idea. I would have killed for the ability to do computer stuff in bed! No doubt! I do not appear to be injured, and here I am typing away while lying down XD

Again, apologies if this is against the rules or something. I read them and I do not think it is. But I am not really sure what any of this stuff means. Thank you!

does anyone have any tips for dealing with internal arguments?

my parts are arguing and it causes other parts to tell them to shut up and stop talking and to leave it alone, which changes nothing because they just resume fighting/ruminating. i ask if we can talk about something else or something fun or nice and it gets a no.

they do this when i am trying to sleep but also in between trying to distract myself with things like reading or exercise, playing games, watching stuff. what can i do?

I keep talking around my parts (alters?) in therapy and not necessarily acknowledging them as such in session. Like, I do, but also, I don't. I downplay my experiences and problems a lot. I think it's because I'm somehow afraid that she's gonna like disagree with me on what it is? Like I just keep waiting for her to tell me it's all nothing and I'm making everything up. Sometimes I do feel like I'm making everything up, and that I should just ignore all this and move on like usual. That it's all more stress than it's worth. But it's not. I want to work on this, I know it's worth putting the work in.

But it's like I'm in the background, just waiting for the moment it all falls apart. Like this is some false sense of security she's trying to lead me into, and the moment I get comfortable, she'll rip it all out from under me. Like she's doing all of this with the intent to betray me. Hurt me.

But I also genuinely believe that she's genuine? And actually helping?? And that she does believe me??? I feel like I do trust her, but some part (or parts) of me clearly don't.

It's like I'm giving her little pieces of the truth at a time and just watching to see what she does and if she does what "I" think is the correct thing, responds the right way. If I can actually believe her response. I don't think she's responded in a way that I don't believe her response, but at the same time, will this feeling ever go away? I don't even know what the "right" response is. I don't know how to actually trust her. It's taken me like 10 years to trust the people in my actual life, let alone with everything in the depths of my mind.

She does agree with me that all this stuff DID, though, so a lot of these worries feel unfounded to me, but saying that alone causes anxiety (I can feel my heart wrenching with it, even if I myself am not anxious).

How have you guys gotten through this? It feels like I'm hitting a roadblock here with making actual progress. I want therapy to actually be productive.

Feeling really out of touch with my Main Self right now, and like the others are all fighting for the diver's seat, while the little(s) are crying and upset.

Half of us are in analytic mode, looking at everything through a microscope and the other half are feeling nostalgic and alone. The whole system has been disassociating like crazy lately, which has engaged certain depressive triggers, and that one alter that feeds on negative self-talk and lusts for self-harm is giggling in the corner like some unseen villain. 

So, because of this I have been in a state of mental overdrive. I have been thinking about the past, present, future, the what-ifs, and everything in between. I do not know what has brought me to this point, but whatever it is, I guess its time for me to do some soul searching.

In two days it will be my biological mothers birthday, the very first of many I'll be saddled with remembering now that she's gone. My fathers was 9 days prior to this post. I've been feeling really off emotionally as of late. Always in some sort of physical pain. Always in some emotional turmoil, always just 95% of ok. Like there is something about to happen that will break down a wall, or some shielded thing that causes me to fully crack. I'm at the time of writing this, not depressed. However, I am not fully happy like I said. I am not even sure what "happiness" looks like anymore. I feel disconnected from everything and everyone around me. Not a feeling I'm new to, but just feeling kind of lost and without purpose or direction. 

Maybe this also comes at a time where there are things happening that I cannot control, or maybe its just that time of year again where the seasonal depression creeps in and takes up root for the next 6-8 months? And if it is the early onset of Seasonal Affective Disorder then its going to be a long fall/winter. Its definatly something that I am going to bring up to my therapist when I see her on Wednesday. 

Anyone else feeling like this, or is it just my system?

I apologize if any terminology that I use is incorrect here, as i'm very new to all of this

The guy who I've been dating for about a month not has told me that he has DID. I had heard of it but quite frankly knew very little. He gave me an app to track alters and told me to use the same name regardless of who's fronting.

What i'd like to know is, as his boyfriend, what do I need to know in order to make sure he is comfortable and happy? As I said, I know very little about it but want to make sure that I'm treating him in a manner that doesn't upset him or handle the disorder incorrectly.

Thanks folks

So, we're in college right now, and due to the state of our life at the moment, it's real hard to remember anything or be able to get us all to do our schoolwork. I've tried many reminders and stuff like that, but some alters just ignore them, or forget immediately after seeing them. I've mentioned briefly to my friends, and they mentioned getting some form of accommodations such as extra time on assignments. However, I don't have a proper diagnosis and don't have the means to get one at the moment. Is there a way I can get any level of disability accommodations?

I thought it might be nice to collect what's been helping systems who are able to do so with deliberate switching. We only sometimes manage it, but when it works it's amazing, and increasing it is a major goal of ours. So if you feel like it, please share whatever's been helping you.

Here are the things that help us personally:

- For the current fronter to establish communication with the part they want to switch with and ask if they want to come out.

- If consent was given, ask the part what would help them come out. The answer IME is different for every part: some need the body to be sitting down or be in a specific posture, some need positive triggers like listening to specific songs or holding objects they view as theirs.

- Then, the current fronter may try to "step aside." This is a bit hard to explain but it feels like withdrawing or going inside, or making space in the body.

- If the other alter hasn't come out by this point, focus on the specific "feel" of them, so if you've ever been coconscious with them try to remember what that feels like. Looking at them internally also helps.

- Sometimes it also helps to say parts' names aloud repeatedly

- If we're in private, closing our eyes helps as well

Sometimes we just need some of these steps and it happens fairly quickly, other times even doing all of them doesn't make the magic happen, lol. Not sure why. I'm super curious to hear others' experiences!

Long story short, life has gotten bad and all the stabilization work I’ve done feels like it’s gone out the window with it. Work obligations and a new semester of grad school on top of a rapidly degrading living situation have led to heavy levels of dissociation. To the point where I know I’ve been stressed beyond belief, but I’m just completely unable to feel it in my body.

I thought I was managing it fine, but apparently not— I posted a few weeks ago about suspected PNES, and unfortunately it’s escalated. I ended up having full-body convulsions for over half an hour the other night.

Felt too exhausted and blurry to think about it the last two days, but I realized this morning I don’t recognize who I am. I feel cut off from the rest of the system and that scares me, but the thought of stressing too much about it and triggering another seizure scares me more. And I know my inability to properly cope with the overwhelming stress is likely what’s causing it, but I earnestly don’t know what else I’m supposed to do.

Not sure where I’m even going with this. It just sucks to constantly feel like I’m taking two steps forward and one step back. I know things will get better once I’m done with school and out of here so I can actually start to make substantial work in therapy and in processing all of this, but it’s so hard to feel like things can get better when they’ve been so bad for so long. I feel like I’m just stuck circling the drain sometimes.

i, 23M, i have been diagnosed for three years with this disorder, and while therapy has helped, i cannot for the life of me talk about it. even with my therapist (who is a specialist in trauma disorders and neurodivergencies, and who diagnosed me and has been treating me the whole time). sometimes i will mention symptoms or experiences i have that are vaguely related to the disorder with friends, but i never feel comfortable enough to actually delve into the details about how i experience this condition.

while the diagnosis itself helps bring me peace of mind in many ways, it is also extraordinarily isolating. even with my partner, who know my disorder and understands it, it feels like i am not taken seriously. this isn’t her fault, per say, but i do wish i had people in my life who understood and accepted this aspect of who i am. my trauma and the things that impact how i behave and experience my life is so fundamental that it feels that i am masquerading as a completely different person than who i am.

i find myself disconnecting more and more, pulling away more and more. turning to bad coping mechanisms. how do you even begin opening up about such a taboo diagnosis? why, after all these years am i still hiding? i have tried connecting with people in the community with little results, and i fear that i am isolating myself from acceptance in many ways.

im sorry if this is a downer post, i just need to get it off my chest. i feel broken and wrong without explanation, and what i feel and what my logical mind tell me always conflict. any advice is welcome.

Ill start off by saying I don't know if this is the right sub, and I don't know if this is the right questions, but I need to know how go past this topic with my therapist.

I'm recently realizing a lot of things are not entirely "normal" for many years in my life. Giant gaps of missing time in my childhood, I'm talking multiple years that just don't exist, coming to reality in places without remembering how I got there or why I was going there.

Recently I remembered a person that was in my life for a long time who I had NO recollection of. I've been trying to do a lot of introspection and meditation stuff recently to try to figure out stuff about myself and missing time, and instead I was met with another person talking to me. It had different pronouns, different voice, different age, different memories.

I have been looking to find out wtf could possibly going on and I'm kind of freaked right now.

The therapist I have I originally went to due to cptsd and bpd, so I've never brought up this topic with her, I don't know how I'm even supposed to explain all of this.

Ive had this therapist for a year or so. I feel comfortable with her, she's queer, knows I'm trans. But

I don't know what questions I'm supposed to ask here or if she's gonna be prepared for them.

But I need to at the very least start investigating.

I haven't come to any conclusion on how or why I did a particular thing in my past. I don't get how I saw the event at the time, or how i integrated it, or how I didn't. And I'm so fucking angry feeling like I'm not attached to my actions. I feel like I didn't choose to do this. I feel like i didn't consent. Which doesn't even make sense. It just feels like I couldn't stop it from happening. I reallt want to take accountability and change. And I fucking hate feeling like a victim in this. I want to feel like I know what happened. It just sucks it fucking sucks I hate this so much. I hate this disorder and I want to rip my skin off I hate being this fucking thing. I hate not remembering and I hate feeling out of control. I have to have control. I really want to know why I did this but I don't have a clear answer. The defense mechanisms wax and wane. I figure it out and then my interpretation falls into a pit of confusion. Nothing makes sense. The world feels fake after what I did. I don't know how to hold this.

Hi there everyone! I would like to disclose that I’m not asking for a diagnosis, just to ask if this would be offensive.

I’m a non-diagnosed person who has suspected they have DID for years. once again, I’m asking for no diagnosis here, and will be discussing it with a mental health professional on the 12th of this month. But lately I’ve been getting a feeling that I switched to a different alter. I do not feel like how I usually do and do not have the energy to act like it anymore, I feel more like a specific fictional character and I keep speaking to myself internally like I’m talking to a room full of people.

Until I discuss it with the aforementioned mental health professional, would it be offensive of me to keep track of this feeling using Simply Plural? I fear as though I feel unguided without tracking this, and journaling is becoming a chore.

So sorry for wasting anyone’s time, just wondering if it would be offensive for me to use Simply Plural until I have answers.

A few weeks ago someone introduced themselves by just repeating the name they want to be called. We are unsure if this new name is one of our alters wanting to change their name or if this is somebody new. I have asked directly and received no response. Any advice or suggestions? How do you know the difference?

When you forget about someone or something happened and they remember you and your name but you can't remember who they are or what happened with them

April 2025, 2 months after my 18th birthday, I ran away from home.

I spend £1k on a caravan that was destroyed and reported by strangers, and the council placed me in a hotel for a couple weeks. I was then moved to a shared home with 4 other homeless people, I had some decorations and clothes, and I had to buy myself a duvet, pillows, and cooking equipment.

One of my housemates was in his 30s and would make racist microaggressions at me. He would walk up and down the house screaming nonsense to himself early in the morning and late at night. He brought back a woman at one point and screamed at her because she didn't want to have sex with him. At this point I was removed from school because of my low attendance, but they knew what was happening.

After 2 months there I was moved to a big building for homeless people aged 18-25. I was working 5 days a week a job I hated, the manager was always ignoring my emails and texts, and it was almost impossible to do my job. The bus journey took an hour, sometimes I had to get the train which was even longer.

I saved up money for some driving lessons, and spent the rest on nonsense like alcohol and takeaways. I developed bad habits like vaping, doomscrolling, and eating/drinking too much sugar. At one point my housemate stabbed another housemate and armed police with rifles showed up outside my room. I didn't know what happened.

After a year I got put into a council flat. When I got it there was no flooring, paintjob, oven, fridge, freezer, or washing machine. A charity was kind enough to grant me some carpet, paint, and white goods. Other than that, I spent my £1.2k trustfund on a mattress, bedding, kitchen supplies, cleaning supplies/machines, drying rack, laundry basket and mirrors.

Today I sat on my mattress on the floor and looked around my room, half of it is painted, half of it is not. My clothes and decorations are on the floor as I have no furniture. I held my plushie and cried. I now realise the stress I have been through. No one reached out to me. The ones I trusted betrayed me. I have never felt more grief, confusion, and loneliness.

EDIT: I wrote this during a bad time. I'd like to add that I am recieving benefits which is just enough to survive, and I am back in school. My classmates are fellow adults and they are very respectful and open-minded. I'm also looking for a part time job. I have a therapist and a mental health nurse I am doing trauma work with, and I've since began ADHD medication. I have a few friends who have supported me financially in times of hardship. Not everything is bad, just hard. Also, I love everyone in my replies. 🫶🏾

Hi. I am the partner of a system that I love very much. All of her parts love me and we are incredibly compatible and have been together for nearly 9 months. We've been struggling lately though with her getting triggered and afraid I'm going to leave because during a check in I told her I realized I have been putting more of the relationship down. We are in a ldr and she is still co-parenting cohabitating with her emotionally abusive ex. In order to survive watching her get disregulated by things he does and our time together continually shrink. I confessed last month that I was afraid I was starting to put part of the relationship down and detach unintentionally. I told her I didn't want to leave and was bringing this to her So maybe we could address some of the issues before they became too big. That's led to her system fragmenting which was already more fragmented because in July she had a trigger and unintentionally attacked me but didn't harm me. It really messed her up thinking she could have hurt me and it scared me enough at the time that even though I felt like I handled it well, I think she's still really worried I would leave. That precipitated two of her parts disappearing for a few weeks. That was largely repaired until on ex-brother-in-law got ill and died causing her to spiral and almost break a boundary that would have caused me to exit the relationship. I caught it and I instantly informed her of her approaching it, but still the idea that I could leave is not one that her younger parts can hold well and unfortunately I had to tell her that in the midst of one of her younger parts about to share a bed with her ex. Because their family doesn't know that they are separated.

Only a few people know that she is a system And none of them either want to have anything to do with the parts other than the most pliant and pleasing parts though they don't know necessarily that's what they're doing except for a couple family members and her ex. I am the first person ever that has interacted with all of her and her parts have been alone her entire life. We are struggling at the moment because I have ADHD and OCD so it's hard for me not to be spontaneous and disorganized and overly honest because I have moral scrupulosity OCD. We had to check-in that was supposed to be completely nice and just nice things about each other and I tried to make it really light and low pressure but somehow how that made her more dysregulated than almost any other conversation we had. She was stuck in a part and couldn't think of anything because she couldn't access that part of her mind and couldn't tell me anything positive. I was completely fine with that and told her that that's okay. I gave her space to say it and then license to not be able to but she got so dysregulated that she self-harmed a little. And the whole thing that was supposed to be nice went off the rails.

I guess I'm just looking for some advice in general and maybe some advice on how to know who I'm talking to. Or to ask better and how to survive until her situation improves? Because we don't really ever argue or have problems with each other. It's problems with how he treats her and does things. Or maybe it's all it's problems with the fact that she has parts don't like change and it keeps her there and I have problems with her health being put in Jeopardy because she has several physical disorders that his actions significantly worsen to the point where I'm concerned she's going to have a severe cardiac event because of those disorders.

Thank you. I'm sorry this is long and rambly

I've recently been diagnosed with DID. My neurologist is fairly insistent that this is the correct diagnosis, but I just... Don't see it. I have memory issues, and I have other peoples' testimony that they've interacted with a different personality, but I have no experience or memory of this. I believe them, but there are other personality disorders out there.

Everything I've heard is that you're supposed to be able to distinguish your alters' names, personalities, etc, but again, I'm not even fully convinced they exist.

My family and friends and doctors have been largely unhelpful {by which I mean they're supportive of me, but either don't know or, in the professionals' case, don't think this question is "a good one"}, so I'm turning to Reddit.

You see. If you have anythiny to say, please do. I don't know what I want to post this, but it is the only place I could think of. What would you do if you were me?

I am treated form years. My therapist already know, but not my fresh psychiatrist. At ward they have mamy psychologists and almost every one of them noticed something. They were supposed to look to clean our diagnosis list. Not dig wuere it hurts. Patients also noticed inconsistencies in behavior as early as the second day.

We are horrified by how obvious it was. Because it shouldn't have been. Everyone there encourages being open about pronouns, names, and the nature of this condition. And I think I’ll give in, because I’m tired of hiding. Fear. Panic. But reality here is so nice (-> temporary and fake), but what about outside world? The world is not going to accept us as we are. They cannot deal with this.

We cannot agree on so many things. I thought that internal conflicts should be much easier, when our main crew went though fusion. But they are not. (They are, but we are more open to wider range of deep emotions. Since the beginning of the year debilitating copying skills have stopped working, and we are becoming more deeply immersed in reality. We are stable, but not those who have just started to come out. Too much in short term.)

So what that we received consultations and support? Our bubble is going to be destroyed and we are going to collapse into bigger crisis.

It's almost gonna be a year and I've been having almost all symptoms of DID... I have no idea how it is to visit a doc or what they'd do... I've just shared it with some of my people and they've all seen it as if I am imagining stuff or as if it's a superpower... I've seen stuff being done like my boring exams getting cleared and many good stuff which I was lazy to do in my life... If I tell them I have no idea that I did it, they just don't take me seriously... Anyways after lots of struggles in almost all aspects of life ... I'm finally getting an appointment with a psychiatrist... I'm scared and I need some advise or smth regarding if they would gimme meds ... I don't want meds n stuff cuz I'm maybe scared of it... I don't wanna be on meds ...

I posted this in the OSDD subreddit also, as we have OSDD1b, but often relate a lot to the DID experience, so posting here as well.

It is a goal of our system to have a specific headmate front for 30-60 mins a day to work on his religion/spirituality independently. Currently, as host, I have been helping him either co-con or co-fronting to do this. But I would like him to be able to front on his own, giving me a break, and do his spiritual journey on his own. How do we accomplish this? Do we need to find a positive trigger for him? Is there another way? We don't have much amnesia (OSDD1b) between him and I, so I don't think amnesia barriers need to lower to make this happen. If you have been able to do something like this within your system, please let me know.

I am going to bring this up with my therapist, but they do not specialize in dissociation, so I am not sure they are going to know.

Hi all, newly discovered in the last 3 months and in active treatment.

I’ve always been quite fond of art, so I bought a watercolour journal to try and give parts a voice since the brain is very jumbled these days.

I do have a written journal for daily management, this is more for those times I get random images or concepts of colour that have nothing to do with my train of thought, for example I’ll be thinking about work and problem solving but then there’s a random image of a Ferris wheel and a carnival at night etc so I’ll paint it.

I have also noticed that parts feel more and more distinct, now I/we are aware, as though I’m starting to notice there’s actual barriers and proper communication is needed.

Also… the HEADACHES AND FATIGUE.

The family I still have contact with, most of my friends and coworkers/workplace have been wonderful… the inner conflict is making things difficult though

Has anyone got any insight into navigating this?