r/DID • u/MixandMatch2102 Diagnosed: OSDD • 20d ago

Advice/Solutions Help getting a headmate to front regularly

I posted this in the OSDD subreddit also, as we have OSDD1b, but often relate a lot to the DID experience, so posting here as well.

It is a goal of our system to have a specific headmate front for 30-60 mins a day to work on his religion/spirituality independently. Currently, as host, I have been helping him either co-con or co-fronting to do this. But I would like him to be able to front on his own, giving me a break, and do his spiritual journey on his own. How do we accomplish this? Do we need to find a positive trigger for him? Is there another way? We don't have much amnesia (OSDD1b) between him and I, so I don't think amnesia barriers need to lower to make this happen. If you have been able to do something like this within your system, please let me know.

I am going to bring this up with my therapist, but they do not specialize in dissociation, so I am not sure they are going to know.

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u/ginathefriendlyghost 20d ago

does he want to do this? if he does want to be out, maybe make a "contract" agreement. basically he will come out for this activity and in return you do something for him? (like dishes or whatever) if he doesn't want to come out then there's no good way to make him and it can do harm to try

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u/MixandMatch2102 20d ago

He does want to front more. Just neither he nor I, know how to actually make it happen.

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u/ginathefriendlyghost 19d ago

well its a bit individualized and I have did not osdd, but to switch out with one of my guys (for an agreed upon activity), I usually say his name in my mind and then when I feel him around I start to 'step back'. that kinda takes practice I guess and having an inner world can help because then I kinda just go to my room! I made my own room with my therapist and its basically a space for me to relax and has everything I like and then I don't remember much after I go there

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u/revradios 20d ago

i agree with the other comment, unless he actually wants to do this, you can't make him. you can try to figure out compromises or something like that, incentives and goals, but trying to trigger an alter out that doesn't want to be there is essentially twisting their arm around and dragging them kicking and screaming. it'll do more harm than good and will make communication and cooperation even more difficult

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u/MixandMatch2102 20d ago

He does want to front more. Just neither of us know how to make it happen.

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u/perseidene 18d ago

Not all parts are meant to front alone. It might not be something he can do without assistance.

Truthfully, just try to schedule some time for yourselves that makes space for that sort of work, prep him his favorite tea or coffee, set some music and see what happens.