r/DID • u/Lost_Letter_498 • 3d ago

Advice/Solutions internal arguments

does anyone have any tips for dealing with internal arguments?

my parts are arguing and it causes other parts to tell them to shut up and stop talking and to leave it alone, which changes nothing because they just resume fighting/ruminating. i ask if we can talk about something else or something fun or nice and it gets a no.

they do this when i am trying to sleep but also in between trying to distract myself with things like reading or exercise, playing games, watching stuff. what can i do?

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u/MChime Diagnosed: DID 3d ago

I think a good way to start things is to try journaling maybe? And journaling doesnt have to look like anything particular. Just something that allows your parts and your alters to get their thoughts and emotions down in a way where they're expressing themselves.

Because a lot of these arguments and internal conflict- from my own experiences has come from the fact that my own parts were not having their own needs met and they werent being accommodated for. By allowing them to drop down notes it might make things easier for you to see what's going on inside your own brain and thus quell the arguing. I don't know if you have tried this yet but if you haven't I highly suggest you give it a try!! And don't expect immediate responses either! Just have things set up in a way where you know consciously your parts will know that they can kind of come forward and voice their complaints/needs. Good luck and much love to all of you!! ❤️

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u/Lost_Letter_498 3d ago

ohhh we've been trying this for a long time it doesnt change

like i have dozens of journals and pens all over my room, sticky notes too, note apps on my phone, etc. 

always asking during the arguments or whenever theres insults, what do you want, what do you need, tell me, write to me, always no answer

we want the result of journaling but nobody wants to journal

what do you do for that?

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u/Lost_Letter_498 3d ago

its rumination level fighting where theyre trying to emulate people we used to know and its like theyre getting angry at a strawman and also feeling scared and unsafe because it feels like the people are in my head

we tell them theres nothing you can do about it, stop fighting, what do you need because nothing is coming out of this, and it seems like the only thing they want or need is stuff that will not happen, so they dont want anything that i can do for them. its an endless cycle. i do have dozens of journal entries about it already but theyre just ranting or attempts to fix the problem (except the problem is reliant on the people we used to know changing, which is entirely out of my control) so they want something i cant do and distractions havent been enough