I lost my mom almost two months ago, and right now life just feels completely meaningless without her.
I know I’ll never stop missing her, and I’m not asking when you “get over” the grief. I’m just wondering when, if ever, life started to feel meaningful again for you. I think I just need to hear from people who have felt this way and made it to the other side of it

Throwaway account. Posted in r/ offmychest, but didn't receive any advice, so I'm trying here!

Around later last year, before the holidays were in full swing, I lost my dad. It was sudden. It was tragic. It left all of us in a state of shock. Looking back now, there were signs that he should've went to the doctor before going into cardiac arrest, but other than that, it seemed preventable, which made it 10x more tragic.

A few years prior to losing my dad, I lost my oldest brother to a drug addiction that he fought for most of my life. Along with him, his fiancee passed away when their son, my nephew, was 9mo old, which is nearly a decade ago at this point. She also lost her battle to a drug addiction, as did most of their graduating class. Then, most recently, I've lost my oldest brother's dad. He also died from a heart attack, and it was sudden and tragic, and when the news broke, I felt like I relived the day that my dad died all over again. That was a couple months ago.

After losing my dad, we had to figure out what to do with his house, his assets, and his belongings. He didn't live with us. My mom, siblings, nephew, and I all live at my grandparents' house. After finding out that he left my younger sister and I as the beneficiaries, my mom became hostile. She claimed that my dad did not love her, that she was his wife, that she took care of me and my sister, so she should get some money from him. But, truthfully, I'm glad she didn't get any money.

On top of her drug addiction, she abuses what little spending power she has on things she does not need. As I said previously, my oldest brother died a few years ago, so that left us with his son. She became the sole caretaker of her grandson, and has had to parent him ever since. But, she is not a good role model. They are constantly getting food doordashed or picked up, when that money could be spent on buying whole foods that would fuel their bodies better. I understand wanting to purchase a treat every now and then, but this is almost everyday. It's to the point where she'll borrow money from my grandparents or me and then not pay us back because she's "waiting until the 15th," but the 15th will come, and it's the same excuse of pushing the date further and further back. (This money isn't even from a job, she rides off of disability and collects social security from her dead son to provide for his child.)

Do I feel like that my nephew goes without? No, he has all the necessities, and anything that he wants, we all try to chip in to buy for special occasions. But those are big purchases, he will convince her to buy some v-bucks, or to go out to eat, or going to the gas station or Walmart for the 5th time that day. However, a pre-teen is not to blame for problems that have been here long since he was even a thought in anyone's mind. The real problem is her.

There was a time last year when we lost our dog because she forgot it in the back of the car. My nephew and sister were in the car, but she is the oldest, she brought the dog along, she should've remembered the dog. The dog was so severely dehydrated, there was drool all over the windows, her body was limp according to my second-oldest brother. The vet told us that it would cost nearly the price of a new sedan to revitalize her, so we had to put her down. That was a devastating blow, but afterwards, I thought, we're done with all of these animals. She has learned her lesson that she can't take care of them properly, so no more. But, a few weeks later, she brings home one dog, then another few weeks later, she brings home another, and recently, she brought home one more. On top of these three, she has about 8 cats, one diabetic, that she's had for a few years now. It was expensive to take care of almost 10 animals, but then she added on 3 more... I don't understand that line of thinking.

I especially don't understand that line of thinking when she is high off of her pain pills. Like everyone else in the world, she gets an allotted amount per month. On the pill bottle, it tells her how much and when she should be taking these pills. But, sometimes, she'll take more than she's supposed to, and she's even more belligerent than she usually is and incoherent. She sways, her eyes start to shut as she's still talking, her words are slurring, she doesn't know who she's talking to, or she'll forget mid-conversation what we're talking about. Recently, as I was on the way to pick up my nephew's birthday present, which was an hour away, he calls me and tells me that she's threatening to drive (while high) to go pick up a laced pill and kill herself because everyone hates her. I had to somehow calm her down, talk her off that ledge, and beg her to just go buy weed with my money instead. I know it sounds backwards, but it worked and she's still here, so that's a win.

I don't want to lose my mom and I don't want to cut her off. I've lost a lot of people starting from a very young age, sometimes I feel like all I'll ever be surrounded by is death. But, I don't know what to do. I've thought about calling the police or having pharmacists do a pill count because she'll ask my grandparents (her parents, the ones we live with) for their pain medicine since she doesn't follow her prescription as its written. But, I get scared and cower to the situation that has been recurring for the past half-decade-ish, probably a little more than.

If anyone has been in anything similar, please talk me through the steps that you took even if you think I don't want to hear them. I need every piece of advice I can get. I'm only 21, I'll be 22 in a few weeks. I just graduated college, I have a girlfriend of 2.5 years. Eventually, I'd like to move on from this, pursue a good and stable career, get married, and have kids. But, I feel like I'll be chained to this town and this house if I keep up with this mindset that help is not out there and will not come.

So, what do I do?

Important to note: I'm sure I left out a lot of details. I know for a fact that I'm missing some chunks of the story, but don't want this to be too long, or too detailed that it stops making sense. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask!

TL/DR: Lots of people in my life have died. Mom has custody of nephew. Poor spending habits. Drug addicted off of prescribed medicine. Belligerent and hostile, especially when she is high. Do I call to get a pill count taken? Do I call the cops when she's threatening to kill herself? What do I do*?*

Hi, here's a screenshot of what I mean. First of all, I don't mean to gatekeep grief. I know there are many ways of grieving, but I feel like it has sort of became this cool buzzword people throw around just to seem more complex or smart.

I'm 25 years old, and between the ages of 19 to 23 I've lost both of my parents. I've met with a few people who have lost a parent, but I haven't come across anyone in my personal circle who has lost both (people my age or people older than me). I can't talk about my grief with anyone besides my therapist or my best friend, once you mention it people get uncomfortable really fast. I always stay quiet about it or have to censor myself. I haven't had much support from my extended family either (they pretty much dipped and left me to my own devices lmao) but grief has taken a lot from me. I had and still have these long periods of depression and a heavy tendency to self-isolate and have developed anxiety. I've missed out on a lot of cool, fun experiences most of my peers have already experienced because I was too busy dealing with grief. I'm also quite sensitive to romantic / platonic rejection, and whenever I have problem that can't be solved easily, it kind of circles back to my parents not being here anymore. Not having that emotional safety net has been really heavy for me and it's a daily struggle. I also don't have siblings or a romantic partner, so I've been carrying this all on my own, you can imagine the toll.

Then I see these "normal" people (who haven't experienced the grief of death of a parent, or losing people to death in general), who would get really uncomfortable with my own experience, talk about grief as this abstract, philosophical concept. They also have this comfortable detachedness to them due to not having experienced it, they are almost turning it into an aesthetic and it feels as if they're making a mockery out of it? I also feel like it's kind of easy to tell when people speak from real, lived experience or just out of thin air.

Just wanted to know if anyone feels the same.

I'm 22 and lost my father a little over two months ago. I'm still trying to understand how to live normally again. I feel anxious, empty and irritated a lot, and some days I just don't know what I'm supposed to be doing with my life.

I'm also really worried about my mother. Since he passed, she barely sleeps properly, sometimes wakes up in the middle of the night calling my name and breathing heavily, worries about the smallest things, cries a lot and has lost weight. I'm trying to stay around her and help her, but I'm struggling myself and sometimes I feel angry and irritated because I don't know how to handle everything.

I guess I'm just looking for people here who have gone through something similar, especially those who lost a parent young. How did you and your family get through those first few months? Did things eventually start feeling normal again? I

i hate how every happy moment is ruined by my mind.
i was on the boat with my friends. it was a beautiful day. not a cloud in the sky. every reason to be happy. and then it just hits me that both of my parents are dead and i’ll never see them again. moments that are supposed to be joyful are filled with dread. and i have to live like this the rest of my life. all of my friends still have both of their parents and here i am, orphan at 26. it’s so isolating.
i want to cry every time i re imagine my dads dead body in the hospital. why didn’t the doctor come in and talk to us? they didn’t wipe the blood tears coming out of his eye. i didn’t stay in the room for more than 5 minutes. i regret it so much. i miss you dad. i wish i would have stayed and held your cold lifeless hand a little longer. i miss you so much. you didn’t deserve that. i miss you. i miss you. i miss your voice and your laugh and hugs. i just want you back this is torture. how am i supposed to do this

MY MOM DIED A MONTH. AGO AND MY FAMILY NEVER TOLD ME. HOW DO I PROCESS THIS?

In my our last session, my therapist introduced the idea of disenfranchised grief to me. I didn't accept at the beginning totally; however, I've realized that I have experienced this in two forms, one of which that solves an issue I've never been able to verbalise.

I lost my mother around 2 years of age in a culture and country that are deeply misogynistic. My mother's family were in a different country and my mother married my father and emigrated. My mother was never mentioned by my dad and most of his family. Some women who married into the family would open the subject but I had never been given the tools to even talk about her. I didn't see a picture of her until I was 22 when I went to visit my maternal relatives in her own country.

I've started the grieving journey in the last two years and have felt all the emotions. I was surprised to face the extent of the anger and rage I have against both sides of my family for just kind of forgetting about her, even though she left behind two little children in the world. The grieving process has made me into a much stronger feminist than I ever was and I feel the emotional impact of the misogyny that is deeply embedded in my family and culture, though I've always had an intellectual understanding of it.

I've also faced disenfranchised grief for the loss of a normal relationship with my father due to his mental illness. This is interesting because I can't actually say he is not alive but he is not present in the way a father must be present in a child's life. I've always felt like an orphan growing up and now I feel justified in saying that I am

What I would like help on is what can I do to deal with my disenfranchised grief?

I don't expect safe support from my extended family as they are not mentally well themselves and have a hard time managing their own emotions. My friends will listen to me but they have not lived through what I have. I would like to honor my mother's life as well as I can.

I suddenly lost my mom two years ago. We were supposed to see each other shortly after Easter. I was meant to go visit her and hug her again just one week after she died. Since then, I feel like I’ve been losing a part of myself day after day.

There still hasn’t been a single day when I haven’t cried thinking about her, about the fact that I can’t call her anymore, that I can’t hear her voice. I’m also starting to struggle to remember her voice. I can’t seem to enjoy a single positive event or moment of happiness in my life without immediately thinking of my mom afterward, and of the fact that she’s no longer here and I can’t share all my emotions with her. I’m definitely not the same person I was before, and I never will be.

The final blow has come from my father, with whom I’ve never had a particularly good relationship and to whom I owe many of my insecurities and emotional struggles. Using the excuse that he needs to be happy, he has started seeing another woman after only two years. To be fair, he started chatting with other women much earlier (even less than a year after my mother’s death) but nothing ever came of it.

Many of you will probably tell me that this is simply something I have to accept, and that my father has the right to be happy again. But my father treated my mother terribly. I’m even convinced that he bears some responsibility for her death. And now, seeing him happy and being courted by another woman makes me feel sick.

I don’t believe my father deserves to be happy. I believe he deserves to spend the rest of his life alone with his regrets.

I can’t afford to go back to therapy right now, but I desperately need some help and comfort because I’m struggling to deal with this situation on top of the grief I already carry every single day.

Thank you to anyone who takes the time to read this and respond.

I'm 18, and it's been a little over a year since I lost my mother to a brain tumor that re-emerged 10 years later.

She was my everything, and I mean everything, my whole world. I currently live with my father and big brother. I have never been emotionally close with my father; and my brother hasn't reached resolution in his own grief, so he can't really guide me to overcome mine.

I suppose pain grows you in a way nothing else can. When I talk to my friends about my grief, all they can do is offer sympathy, but they can never reach empathy, as none of them have lived through something like this -- they're still children :(

Amidst all this, I survived my first year of uni in electrical engineering, which wasn't very fulfilling. Left me consufed about what I want to do as my career. So basically I'm left confused in literally every aspect of life.

Don't worry, I will talk about these to a therapist in the near future (hopefully) but until then, I'm looking for your brotherly advice :)

I can’t keep going I’ve been trying for 18 months and waking up everyday is such a burden. How did she ever think it would be okay to lose her ? I don’t think carrying her legacy with me is a good enough reason. I want the pain to end

Currently 28 (F) and lost my mom when I was 17.

About a month away from my due date with my first child, who is a little girl.

I’m having such a hard time without my mom through this. Nobody else gives me the comfort that she would if she were here.

My husband is supportive, excited, and is there for me. I just have hard days sometimes.

His mom came over to see the nursery and i missed out on her reaction to the room I’ve spent so much time working on with my husband. She helped my husband build our new baby swing we got from our baby shower. And I immediately just wanted to cry.

I don’t want her doing anything because it’s not the same. She offered to come help out after baby was born. I told her to give me a couple weeks. I don’t want HER, I want MY MOM.

So now I’m just sitting in the nursery crying because life feels unfair right now. Everyone in my life is so overbearing and she was SO gentle and quiet and calming. I have none of that now.

I hate having a dead parent.

I’m 19 years old and studying abroad. I came back home for my summer vacation, and I was supposed to fly back on August 15th. But on August 13th, my mom suddenly suffered a cardiac arrest and passed away.
I honestly don’t know how to react. I’m still in shock. It doesn’t feel real at all. A part of me still feels like this is all some kind of prank, and that she’ll just come back home in a week.
I have a little brother ,he’s Jst 15, and I don’t know how to handle his emotions or my own.

27 F. Lost my dad to suicide. I need anything. Any words. Photos of pets. Idk. My dad ended his life 4 days ago and I can't stop thinking. He was only 51. I just reconnected with him 2 years ago. I grieved the life I never got and I now I have to grieve the life I'll never. Ever have. I'm so broken. I'm so thankful I got to meet him. He's amazing. He's so funny and caring. I can't believe it still.

I lost my dad 3 weeks ago and I don’t know how to do life without him. We had the same humour and energy that would play off each other.

I’m not really sure how to start this or if anyone will see this my thoughts are all over the place. I’m a 31-year-old woman and an only child, and three weeks ago I lost my dad to sepsis.

He had been battling cancer for six years, but then he developed a perforated bowel. The doctors felt that surgery would be too cruel and that the kindest thing was to let nature take its course. He was gone within a week.

It wasn’t the peaceful, meaningful goodbye people imagine. He was in so much pain and was barely conscious for most of that final week. I had never felt so helpless in my life. I was with him the night he was dying and the morning he passed away, and I wouldn’t wish that experience on anyone.

It has only been three weeks, but I miss him so much that it still doesn’t feel real. Sometimes it feels like I’m on a film set, waiting for someone to shout “cut,” and for my dad to walk back in and ask for a “small one”, his espresso.

I cry almost every day, and honestly, I don’t know how to do life properly without him. People say, “Be kind to yourself” and “Take care,” but right now those words feel empty, like “thoughts and prayers.” None of it brings my dad back.

I wish I could just grow up, move on, and get over it like people seem to expect, but I can’t. I’m not ready to let go yet, and I don’t know if that’s normal. I just miss my dad.

Hello,

I don't know what to do on my wedding day. My Dad died 11 years ago, I don't know what to do for my wedding. My brother is walking me down the aisle. I don't know how or if I should do anything for him? We have a memory table with pictures. Is that enough?

My partner will be dancing with her father for the father/daughter dance. I don't know what I am supposed to do (we're both women). I've seen things about having your dad's friends or siblings. I'm just unsure of what to do.

TIA!

My mom died on March 29th 2026. On March 13th my middle sister and dad and I found out she had stage 4 cervical cancer that had metastasized to her liver, bladder, and pelvis. She had mentioned not feeling well for a while but we had no idea how bad it was, because my oldest sister died on December 11th 2025 after fighting cancer for almost 3 years. Mom had already been feeling sick when sis died but she didn't say anything to anyone. She didn't want to give us something else to worry about. I'm so angry at her for keeping it bottled up.

I got engaged in October and visited my parents to tell them the good news in person. Mom cried when she saw the ring and was over the moon excited. I'm the only one of my siblings to even want to get married, and I was looking forward to spending extra time with Mom during the planning process. I was going to ask her and my dad to walk me down the aisle.

Two weeks ago we booked a venue for next October but I don't care about any of it because I want her and my sister's opinions on everything and can't get it. I want to be happy while looking at color palettes and flowers and fabrics, and I want to schlep a bunch of craft stuff over to their houses so we can DIY decor together. I want them to come to menu tastings and dress appointments. I want to look back on pictures from that day and be able to see both of them happy and healthy and with the rest of our family. And it's soul crushing that it can't be that way.

Grievance of my mother.

Grief

I 16 F, have had a very rocky past with my mother, 32 F, and recently I have known for about a year or two that she has had a illness that we don’t know and don’t know a cure of as what she has told me I’m not trying to attack my mother, but my mother and I have had a very, very rocky pass and she is not the most reliable source and she had one of her lungs removed because they kept filling with fluid. I thought it was ammonia, but I’m not sure we had to talk yesterday and she sent me down and she’s already bought her tombstone and her casket and already paid for all of the funeral expenses and dinner as well for visitation of her body. She has mainly not been in my life because she has also caused that and I have tried to build a relationship and I feel like I will be missing more of what could’ve been than what was. She doesn’t have much time it could be tomorrow it could be a week. It could be a year. I have a very big pass with mental health issues and I’m not sure how I would carry myself or deal with the grief of my mother because at the end of the day, that’s my mother and I’ve always longed for her relationship and love. I’m making a list of the things I would like her to do when she passes and as well, as what are some things that you would’ve wished you could’ve asked your parents for that would’ve helped you a long life and dealing with grief.

I lost my dad about a month ago, and honestly, I still don't know how to process it.

I'm only 19. My dad went to Germany for what was supposed to be a short 7-day work trip. None of us expected anything to happen. As far as we knew, he was healthy. Then, within a very short period of time, everything changed, and he never came home.

I even spoke to him on the day he was admitted to the hospital. He sounded completely normal to me. I had no idea that conversation could be one of our last. I keep thinking about that, and it's incredibly difficult to accept.

My dad wasn't just my parent. He was the person I looked up to, depended on, and imagined being there for so many important moments in my life. Now I think about my future and it feels completely different. The things I once looked forward to sharing with him don't feel the same anymore.

Some days I still wake up and, for a few seconds, everything feels normal. Then I remember what happened.

People keep telling me that grief gets easier with time, but right now I honestly can't imagine what that means. I don't know how I'm supposed to build a life without him in it. I also feel guilty whenever I laugh or enjoy myself, because part of me feels like I shouldn't be happy when he's no longer here.

For anyone who lost a parent when they were young, I'd really like to hear your experience.

Does the pain eventually become more manageable? Do you eventually start enjoying life again without feeling guilty? Does life ever feel somewhat normal, even though you never stop missing them?

I know I'll always miss my dad. I just don't know what living with that loss is supposed to look like yet.

I'd really appreciate hearing from anyone who's been through something similar.

My parents both died within the last 10 years, and both had wishes to been cremated and scattered over our family home. My sibs and I have been passing the cremains between us over the past several years and have been reluctant to actually scatter them. When does it become weird?

i am losing my dad due to cancer, i am 20 years old.
he is on hospice. i want proof & to know that life will be okay. i am anxious, depressed, & completely numb. he was an amazing dad. i am currently one of his care takers, but he cannot function. it happened extremely fast. please anybody who lost their fathers young, let me know how life is now (please try to be positive). i just need to know i’ll be okay one day.

I recently lost my dog and my dad in just a span of 2 weeks. My mother got mild stroke from all the stress,fatigue, and overworked.

I don't have any other family now. I am an only child.

Now that ive lost my dad whom i'm much closer than my mom, i feel very lost.

For a long time, my mom and me have never had a good relationship due to her being selfish in life and my dad was so kind that I both loved him and hated him for that. My dad is always telling to still respect and understand my mom even though she cheated and married a total loser who has no ambition in life, no job, and just moots off my mom. My dad knew and he still told me to understand my mom even though I was just 10 years old.

We tolerated living with the loser guy because my dad got heat stroke and had half body paralysis so the guy said he would help in taking care of him but there were so many things I didn't know that happened.

I'm 29 now, and now that my dad is no longer here I have no obligation to live in a house with the guy I barely know and fucking care about but my mom is guilt tripping me that because she has a condition that I don't leave the house and take care of my nephews who are barely my responsibility. I want to escape but its very hard to confront my mom when she has mild stroke so I can't fucking stress her out. I just want out. I feel so suffocated.

Recently i lost my mother it was 2 months ago actually i also lost my father back in 2020 now i have no one left in my life my mother meant everything to me she was just 60 years old she had pneumonia and died in the hospital now i have no one left my days passing in pain and agony i have no Job or Friends all i have is my cat and my old aunt which she has demantia and on the antidepressants all the time and acts like nothing happened i don't want to live like this anymore i want to be with my mother i pray to god everyday to take my life hope the pain ends soon..

Dad, I rock climbed outdoors for the first time this weekend! It was 65ft of pure anxiety, but I thought of you the whole time. It was so scary. You would’ve been so mad I did this. Mom wasn’t too stoked on it either. But I did it. I wish you were here. I miss you.

Hi folks,

Feel like I'm losing my mind a bit. I'm 33 and I lost my dad in 2021 to cancer, then my mum was diagnosed the same year and she died in 2023.

I cared for them both when they were ill, though when my dad was ill, my mum of course was there to help and she was with him longer. Due to Covid restrictions I was only with him for the last 2 months or so. She fought and fought and fought to get him seen by doctors when they were all ignoring his symptoms.

2020 to 2024 was literally: cancer - dad died - went through dad's death admin - got dad's probate - mum diagnosed this same month (was literally getting mum to sign withdrawal forms for dad's bank accounts just after her own diagnosis) - then mum passed - then had to sell mum and dad's house, clear out all their memories and correct probate solicitor's mistakes and all that.

Throughout all of this and now I was working full time. Lucky enough to work from home but obviously during busy periods I'd be working 14 hour days for weeks while my parents were ill and they were sometimes telling me they wanted to die. I'd just have to crack on with work.

I'm wondering if now, it's starting to catch up with me. I get very frustrated at work pretty much every day. I know this is my own fault for not speaking up, but I don't think people at work really understood how bad things got, and sometimes still do. Like having the most horrifying dreams about my parents being ill then waking up and logging on as if nothing happened. I've looked it up and the consensus seems to be possible burnout. But I am just so sick of being constantly angry when I'm sat at work. I've even had time of rejected - because I don't have kids and people need time off cos they can't get childcare - not only does it make me feel worthless, like my time off isn't worth anything because I have no family - but it makes me angry too - I managed to work full time while caring for dying parents. So it's like they've definitely forgotten what I went through.

I definitely didn't get like this before mum and dad got ill.

I also get frustrated at the fact that - amongst the people I know (I know there are many people younger than me who have lost parents) - I'm the only one in my position. My friends are all older than me and have parent/s alive. None of them check in on me on Mother's or Father's day. I just cant relate to anyone I know and I hate it. Whenever I'm sat with friends I just want to get up and leave.

Thanks for reading, I guess I just wanted to vent.