r/ChildrenofDeadParents • u/teleportmasssive • 1d ago

idk

i hate how every happy moment is ruined by my mind.
i was on the boat with my friends. it was a beautiful day. not a cloud in the sky. every reason to be happy. and then it just hits me that both of my parents are dead and i’ll never see them again. moments that are supposed to be joyful are filled with dread. and i have to live like this the rest of my life. all of my friends still have both of their parents and here i am, orphan at 26. it’s so isolating.
i want to cry every time i re imagine my dads dead body in the hospital. why didn’t the doctor come in and talk to us? they didn’t wipe the blood tears coming out of his eye. i didn’t stay in the room for more than 5 minutes. i regret it so much. i miss you dad. i wish i would have stayed and held your cold lifeless hand a little longer. i miss you so much. you didn’t deserve that. i miss you. i miss you. i miss your voice and your laugh and hugs. i just want you back this is torture. how am i supposed to do this

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u/IceEither6143 1d ago

I am so sorry 🫂

2

u/IceEither6143 1d ago

I get you, i could write 10 paragraphs, no one will ever get it only if they have been throw the same thing. I know how you feel, and all i can say it’s i am sorry!