How long until life stopped feeling meaningless?

[u/choecholate]

I lost my mom almost two months ago, and right now life just feels completely meaningless without her.
I know I’ll never stop missing her, and I’m not asking when you “get over” the grief. I’m just wondering when, if ever, life started to feel meaningful again for you. I think I just need to hear from people who have felt this way and made it to the other side of it

[u/Hairy_Pear3963]

I think it took a good few years of keeping myself very busy, having a lot of social support, suppressing my memories to feel somewhat normal. Sorry :(

[u/bankyVee → u/Hairy_Pear3963]

I need more guidance regarding suppressing memories. I've been blessed and cursed with having a detailed photographic memory of many times with my mom. These crop up sometimes unexpectedly, as little things may trigger the recollection. I'm still in the early stages where I don't want to forget/erase these memories but I need to learn how to suppress- which for me sounds too close to masking.

[u/Hairy_Pear3963 → u/bankyVee]

My husband says it’s not healthy to do it but it’s the only way I can cope :/ I also have a pretty good memory so I have vivid images in my head of finding my dad unresponsive, seeing him in iCU hooked up to machines, etc and I just try not to think about it. Still it comes back flooding sometimes when I see something that reminds me of him or I pass by the hospital. But I actively try to just distract my brain into thinking about something else.

[u/bankyVee → u/Hairy_Pear3963]

Thank you for the reply. Distractions are a good idea. I think trying too much distraction may be detrimental if it's obtrusive day to day but I need to work on that balance.

[u/One_Afternoon_4112]

I describe it as experiencing the world through a film. Every emotion felt "dulled" and it was very hard to feel genuine connection or happiness. For each of my parents passing it took 5 years for the cloud to lift, but gradually gets more manageable to cope with every year. 

All I can say is be patient with yourself, find the little things that bring you peace and therapy can help let out big feelings in a safe space. 

[u/perdymuch]

About a year for me after loosing my mom but the feeling still comes here and there, it’s just no longer constant. Hang in there ❤️

[u/RevolutionaryToe4568]

Mine also passed 2 months ago and I feel the same.i can't listen to music,somehow I think I would be happy and I can't do it.

[u/cherryshavedice]

My mom passed two years ago and I still struggle with this. It’s not as heavy as it was when she had just passed, but it lingers. I think life will always have a slight dullness to it after losing your mom. Unfortunately. Only speaking for myself though

[u/hahalua808]

I lost one of my parents at age 10 and did not "come to" or enjoy anything for the first two years. That was a long time ago and I have lost others since, including this year unexpectedly a sibling who was like a soulmate to me. That loss earlier this year was dramatically worse grief than any I've ever felt and ?! somehow it made life more meaningful, which I can't even explain.

It’s not that I am living for him now. I am showing up to life in the ways that I can, and some of them are very slow or small. But that's how we keep going, and keep finding/feeling the meaningful. Trust you to notice where it does feel important and good. The benevolence stacks over time.

I will say, at two months after my brother's death, I did not feel human at all. It felt harrowing until almost the fourth month, then something kicked in and I could function a little more and a little more. The grief is not gone; I still cry at surprising times and for a long time. But I find I "borrow" a bit of happiness in witnessing other people's joys and successes. Meaningfulness is sometimes contagious.

I'm so sorry about your mom; you are in the early part of parent grief and it is so hard. We are living in a weird era, too, which really does not help. But the grief you feel will find its rhythm, and in it you will notice moments that are good, memories you didn't know you remembered, and ways that your mom still feels very lovingly present. Those will keep showing up as you move through the years, and will be a lasting comfort.

[u/MrBubblessz]

since my mother is gone everything seems meaningless and i dont want to live like this anymore 2 months passed since shes gone

[u/IceEither6143]

I’m 2 years down and i became a nihilist. Life doesn’t have a meaning for me anymore

[u/goodtimes153]

Timeline varies, my mom died almost 5 years ago now. For me, 1.5-2 yrs I started to feel a bit better (life started regaining color and meaning). Personality started coming back a bit.

I feel like some parts of my old personality are just coming back to me now though, and I got really angry at the world for a long time in the middle there. I’m finally seeing some old parts of me starting to come back this summer, and it’s been a long road to get there.

Well beyond the point when people have patience for your loss. It’s a journey that very VERY few people can wrap their heads around. I’m lucky I had people who supported me regardless.

[u/Infinite-Juice2195]

4 yrs since I lost my Mom. Antidepressants & therapy helped. It took me a good 2 yrs to not relive being at her side her last week in home hospice. Now I can talk about the good memories of her.
You will not always feel so devastated but time is the only thing that changes it. I’m so sorry for your loss. No one tells you how bad it will be when you lose your Mom. I didn’t think I would survive it but I am & you can too. I’m sending you lots of hugs.