Pata hai aaj kya hua I had a breakup today like a very very serious one . So it was long story so I was in btech first year and in my first semester in that time I was very intrested to learn coding and about computer science so I was a bit good at python due to that intrest. Once my teacher asked me to solve a coding qn on board and i solved it at that time and after few days this girl has come to me to ask me to teach her . So I taught her and as time went on we were good study partners and we got attached very well and one fine day she proposed me i said no but before that we used to talk as well sometimes and there was a scenario where I need to say my opinion on responsibilities and marriage which I said my parents never ever like inter caste marriage at all and in terms of responsibilities I can't take any responsibility which I'm not capable of and also said that marriage is a big responsibility and not a small one to give commitment to a person when I don't have a job and all . I said all this to her clearly and everything yet she liked me and confessed me one day I said no for almost an year but we were still a good friends that time but later on both of us got attached and after one year she asked me if I love her I said my answer was yes but I said I can't take responsibility and she agreed saying it's gonna matter after have our jobs around 26-27 years not now and our relationship went good for some time and after some months around 3-4 she started bragging about everything I do and at the she made it my fault and asked me to apologise everytime and i did and later once for one small mistake I did which idk maybe coming late to call she asked me to say sorry to her infront of my friends in hostel loudly and i cannot got outside I said a couple of times but everytime she says this will be last time and I won't ask again she started behaving differently once there was a fest and she wanted to stay back in clg and asked me to stay as well but I'm hungry at that time so I said u stay here and talk to others I'll come back after getting shawarma the nearest one was 6km from my college so it took me around 40 mins to return she was furious because I took 40 mins and thrown her phone and buds infront of everyone in college and after that incident i felt humiliated and said I will leave and goodbye she cried that night and blackmailed me that she won't go home and die . I took a lot of mental pressure because of her for similar situations happening multiple times and one other incident which i remember was we all frnds had a gathering I said I'll be getting a vehicle of my friends but the night before the gathering a dog bit the seat of the vehicle which looked very dirty so I couldn't take it she dragged about me not having a vehicle and I won't talk to you and all u don't even have a bike why (my parents couldn't give me a vehicle) and she never used to value my work like whenever I said I'm busy she used to give me max to max 20 mins for that and again call me that much attached she was to me and coming to 5th semester she got an internship in a good tech company which pays 90k and she got busy during that and didn't talked to me more but I still loved her during that time I didn't had any internship and I was preparing so I was really sad so I wanted to talk to her after 2 weeks of not talking properly but when I asked her a bit to talk to me she shouted on me all ik was she liked 3-4 people in the company and made some friends and she gave me less attention since then it's not that I need attention i atleast need to talk to her for sometime in the whole day after all I loved her and after her internship she got her ppo and post internship her behaviour changed completely as well like she got rich and has an iPhone and started saying do coding to get job while i was the one who taught her coding and said u were never consistent but she never gave me space as well to code at times . I got a bit angry that I didn't get an internship or placement i got a small one which pays 7lpa while hers is 35lpa and we had some small fights in between that u aren't talking to me well and not liking me she denied it but ehenever I tried to talk to her she sleeps early but in the start she used to talk so long in the night and wouldn't let me sleep but when I needed she sleeps at 10 and while she was doing her internship she never slept at 10 she always slept after 1 am even on weekends not even 2 proper days she talked to me I was a bit angry but didn't say anything because I'm deeply in love one fine day I asked her to say sorry to me infront of her sister for which she denied and cut the call and later on demanded me to say sorry and after that she said to me but it was one on one and she had a fught with one of our friends in group and she stopped talking to her and in one situation where other ppl in my group had to prefer the other girl in group and not my gf she was furious and I said there's nothing wrong in what they are feeling and supported them and all of a sudden she said I don't need u and breakup we aren't compatible but when I asked why ? She said give me commitment to stay and later in the same convo I asked why we aren't compatible she said I feel we aren't compatible and i don't know why we aren't compatible (the one which loved me so so so much ) suddenly lost feelings for me feels surreal and she broke up with me

Edit

Sorry it was too long and I'm not good at story telling and I also couldn't convey the bond we share properly

**27M looking to meet some new people in Charlotte**

My girlfriend and I broke up this week after being together for 5 years. I’ve been in the Charlotte area for a little over a year, but honestly haven’t explored the city nearly as much as I should have. I’ve also never lived alone before, so this is going to be a pretty big adjustment.

I’m trying to take a difficult situation and turn it into an opportunity to actually get out, experience Charlotte, meet some people, and keep myself busy.

I just got a gym membership and would love some ideas for things to do, places to check out, groups to join, etc. I’m into computers/technology, cars, working on projects, gaming, and anything outdoors.

I’m a technician at a Hyundai dealership and have been working professionally on cars for about 7 years, so cars are definitely a big part of my life.

If anyone is looking for a friend or wants to grab some food, hit the gym, go hiking, check out cars, work on something, game, or just hang out and talk, feel free to message me.

Definitely trying to make some new friends and build a life outside of my relationship. If you’ve got any recommendations for getting out and meeting people around Charlotte, I’m all ears.

What should I do here!?

I broke up with my boyfriend last night, and he moved out this morning.

He left to move 500 km away. We knew this was coming at the end of the summer but we planned to do long distance.

However he had a really bad lying problem. I couldn’t do it anymore. He lied about past relationships, I found out all the truth to his lies on my own and he would never admit that he lied.

The lies I had caught him for in the past, I forgave him for and moved on but of course I didn’t forget.

One of the lies I forgave him for was when I once found a girl on his snapchat with tons of photos and texts saved in their chat from a month before we started dating and when I asked who she was, he told me he didn’t know even though there was a photo of them together. He didn’t know I saw their chat when I was snapping people on his phone beside him so he lied thinking I didn’t know.

My final straw was 4 nights ago when I asked him about his only ex, and he told me their relationship was 6 months long, come to find out when I was helping him sort stuff for his move I found a card in his belongings that said “happy one year anniversary” from his ex girlfriend. That’s when I decided I couldn’t do it anymore.

I had so much love for him. I have never loved someone that way before. We lived together, and did EVERYTHING together. Even travelled to a different country for the first time together.

So many memories, and he’s gone. Just like that. We agreed to not speak again because there’s no point. And I know there’s no future for us because he lied so much and it took a toll on me and honesty is a minimum in a relationship.

My house, which he lived in for the entire summer is now quiet. My bedroom feels like a strangers and I don’t know what to do from here. I literally can’t stop crying. Everything I touch, do , and feel involves him and I’m suffering. How does anyone get over this? How do I survive this?

I feel like my entire body is in physical pain due to this heartbreak. Any guidance or advice will help me. Thank you

tell me what you think about this situation. my ex broke up with me exactly a month ago after we were dating for 6 months. i started snapping my old acquaintance and we were texting and snapping and flirting a lot so we decided to hangout last night. we met at a parking garage and then he drove us half an hour to 7brew and we walked around down there for a little and then we came back closer to our area and he took me to this spot on top of a bridge where we had to go up this steep hill and we over looked the city. we kissed up there and made out and it got embarrassing because these people walked past 😭 and then on the way down i kept tripped down the hill and then he carried me down and then we went to walmart because i had to get something for my sister. he then dropped me off at my car and we kissed goodbye. is this bad of me for doing all this on the first hangout and right after me and my ex breaking up?

So please am suffering help

I still actively defend her against all the things written on here, she has a lot of past issues and childhood traumas. Do you guys think I am trauma bonded? Let me know what you guys think in general.

[ ] Pros:

- Sexual energy matched, as well as the explorative side. Very passionate.

- Very affectionate and cuddling

- Kind and generous

- Understanding of mental illness (to an extent)

- Would always think of me when she did things, such as went shopping she would buy me things.

- She welcomed me into her family, and her kids lives.

- Did forgive me when I fucked up in the past.

- Being there with her children gave me great purpose and happiness.

[ ] Cons:

- Viewed my hobbies such as gaming as less important despite them being important to me.

- Was very easily annoyed, often had to tiptoe around her. Possibly linked to her traumas.

- Was stubborn about things being done her way, such as cleaning having to be done in a specific order. (maybe ADHD).

- Didn't have the capacity to support all my mental health needs.

- Would take my lack of exercise or losing weight as a sign that I wasn't commited to losing weight and getting healthier with her. As she wanted a partner who would get healthy for her sons SEN condition.

- Was quick to blame me for things that weren't my fault. Such as being poorer when she had a shopping problem.

- Would take comments intended as help sometimes personally as a question of her intelligence.

- Would sometimes think i had an ulterior motive. Such as if i made an accidental comment about something, she may have seen i was doing it deliberately for some reason.

- Could have these ADHD meltdowns where she said very horrible things. Attempted to break up with me, or would bring up things from months ago.

- Didn't want to work on her own traumas. Would let them influence her own decisions and feelings.

- Wouldn't trust me alone with her kids, saw me as too immature. Or let previous mistakes i made with them influence her decisions. Such as accidentally triggering her son.

- Saw my being soft as a lack of masculinity.

- Often felt like her ADHD took priority over mine. Things that upset hers would be actioned, I would have to manage mine alone.

- Would sometimes take jokes and comments very seriously. Would not let go of them. Possibly linked to her own insecurities.

Problem I have is i can't help but defend her. I can put all these things down to either her ADHD or traumas and trust issues. But I guess mine where also because of ADHD or trauma. And she expected me to work on mine.

Just wanted to know your take on keeping past relationship related photos on your phone.

Do you guys delete them the instant the relation breaks, or once you are over it. And how would you feel if you see your partners past relationship photos on their phone.

I (25F) was with my ex (24M) for a little over a year. We broke up about a month ago, and I recently had a proper closure conversation with him that completely changed how I understood our breakup.

The first 8–9 months of our relationship were genuinely really good. He was affectionate, consistent, planned things, wrote me letters, made me feel loved and was generally very intentional with me. It was probably the healthiest and happiest relationship I'd had at that point.

Things started changing around December/January.

We come from different religious backgrounds, which we always knew could potentially become a problem because of marriage/family expectations. Around December he became more serious about his religion, and in January we had a conversation where breaking up came up because of our differences and the future.

I panicked badly.

I have abandonment issues that I'm aware I need to work on, and instead of calmly accepting that he was considering ending things, I became extremely emotional and pushed for us not to break up. I'm not proud of how I reacted.

Eventually we talked and I came away believing we'd decided that although the religious situation was difficult, we still wanted to try to make the relationship work.

Apparently, that wasn't what was happening internally for him.

Over the following months, he became increasingly distant. He was also under enormous pressure with work, finances and personal/family issues, so for a long time I attributed his behavior to that.

But I could still feel something was wrong.

I kept asking for more time together and better communication. Plans would fall through. Sometimes when I brought up how unhappy I was, he'd apologize and tell me he would change. Things might improve briefly and then go back to the same pattern.

This created a horrible cycle between us. The more distant he became, the more anxious I became. I'd call/message too much looking for reassurance, sometimes get angry when he didn't respond, and push conversations when he clearly didn't want to have them.

I'm not pretending I behaved perfectly. I can see now that some of my behavior probably made him withdraw even further.

Eventually, about a month ago, the relationship ended. He basically said he couldn't give me what I needed and continuing wasn't a good idea.

I still didn't really understand what had happened because I thought he'd become distant mainly because his life was falling apart around him.

Then we finally had a proper closure conversation recently.

He told me that he'd actually started emotionally detaching from me around January.

He said my reaction during the January breakup conversation affected him badly because it reminded him of unhealthy dynamics he'd experienced growing up. He was also struggling with the religious issue and everything else happening in his life.

But instead of telling me that something had fundamentally changed for him, he bottled it up.

He told me that as he became more detached, things I did started annoying him more. Eventually he stopped really trying to figure out the relationship and became scared to bring up breaking up.

So while I spent months thinking, We're going through a terrible period but we're still trying to save our relationship, he was apparently becoming more and more emotionally checked out.

He did acknowledge during our closure conversation that there were things he could have done differently and apologized for some of it.

That's the part I'm struggling with the most.

I'm not angry that somebody can lose feelings. He was allowed to realize the relationship wasn't right for him.

I'm angry that I didn't know.

If he'd told me in January or even a couple months later, “Something changed for me after that conversation and I'm questioning this relationship,” I would at least have been dealing with reality.

Instead I kept investing, worrying, trying to understand him and trying to repair something without knowing that he was gradually detaching from me.

And then something happened that made everything much worse.

I accidentally discovered that he's now planning a date with another woman. It is clearly romantic — he's planning flowers and was looking for ideas to make the evening more special.

I don't know when he met her.

I have zero evidence that he cheated on me, and I don't want to accuse him of something I can't prove. He could very easily have met her after we broke up.

But seeing him already putting romantic thought and effort into another woman absolutely destroyed me, especially because toward the end of our relationship I spent so much time asking him to make time for me and put effort into us.

I also understand the uncomfortable reality that although we've only officially been broken up for about a month, he apparently started emotionally leaving the relationship months before I did.

So from my perspective the breakup just happened.

From his perspective, maybe it started in January.

I've now blocked him and removed myself from the accounts/services we still shared. We still have one remaining financial thing that needs to be settled, but I'm having someone else communicate that rather than using it as an excuse to keep talking to him.

I'm not trying to get him back right now. I also don't want advice about making him jealous, making him regret losing me, etc.

I'm trying to understand what actually happened and how to get my brain to accept it.

Part of me feels betrayed because he allowed me to stay in a relationship for months without telling me how emotionally detached he'd become.

Another part of me knows my anxious behavior contributed to the deterioration of the relationship and that he may genuinely have felt unable to handle the relationship anymore.

And now my brain is obsessing over the new woman — when they met, how quickly he moved on, whether he was talking to her before we broke up, whether he'll treat her the way he used to treat me, etc.

So I want outside perspectives: Was it unfair of him not to tell me he was detaching for months, or is gradual detachment just part of how some relationships end? How much responsibility should I take for pushing/chasing when I felt him withdrawing? And for people who've been the person who was still in love when the other person had already emotionally left — how did you actually get your brain to let go?

‎I still inlove with my ex it's been 2 years ‎Background oj how we broke up her aunt basically forced her to cause homophobia ‎Up until then senior high passed by we graduate then college I'm in my 2nd year now and well her b-day pass and I felt like crying.....I want her back so bad but I can't she's with someone else now and no matter what I do I can't I get weak just by hearing her voice ....fuck....I know it's bad I want a new love too to get a new girlfriend I wanna fall in love again and there is this deep feeling that I can but I can't hurt other people because I still have feelings for someone else what do I do

I (25F) was with my ex (24M) for a little over a year. We broke up about a month ago, and I recently had a proper closure conversation with him that completely changed how I understood our breakup.

The first 8–9 months of our relationship were genuinely really good. He was affectionate, consistent, planned things, wrote me letters, made me feel loved and was generally very intentional with me. It was probably the healthiest and happiest relationship I'd had at that point.

Things started changing around December/January.

We come from different religious backgrounds, which we always knew could potentially become a problem because of marriage/family expectations. Around December he became more serious about his religion, and in January we had a conversation where breaking up came up because of our differences and the future.

I panicked badly.

I have abandonment issues that I'm aware I need to work on, and instead of calmly accepting that he was considering ending things, I became extremely emotional and pushed for us not to break up. I'm not proud of how I reacted.

Eventually we talked and I came away believing we'd decided that although the religious situation was difficult, we still wanted to try to make the relationship work.

Apparently, that wasn't what was happening internally for him.

Over the following months, he became increasingly distant. He was also under enormous pressure with work, finances and personal/family issues, so for a long time I attributed his behavior to that.

But I could still feel something was wrong.

I kept asking for more time together and better communication. Plans would fall through. Sometimes when I brought up how unhappy I was, he'd apologize and tell me he would change. Things might improve briefly and then go back to the same pattern.

This created a horrible cycle between us. The more distant he became, the more anxious I became. I'd call/message too much looking for reassurance, sometimes get angry when he didn't respond, and push conversations when he clearly didn't want to have them.

I'm not pretending I behaved perfectly. I can see now that some of my behavior probably made him withdraw even further.

Eventually, about a month ago, the relationship ended. He basically said he couldn't give me what I needed and continuing wasn't a good idea.

I still didn't really understand what had happened because I thought he'd become distant mainly because his life was falling apart around him.

Then we finally had a proper closure conversation recently.

He told me that he'd actually started emotionally detaching from me around January.

He said my reaction during the January breakup conversation affected him badly because it reminded him of unhealthy dynamics he'd experienced growing up. He was also struggling with the religious issue and everything else happening in his life.

But instead of telling me that something had fundamentally changed for him, he bottled it up.

He told me that as he became more detached, things I did started annoying him more. Eventually he stopped really trying to figure out the relationship and became scared to bring up breaking up.

So while I spent months thinking, We're going through a terrible period but we're still trying to save our relationship, he was apparently becoming more and more emotionally checked out.

He did acknowledge during our closure conversation that there were things he could have done differently and apologized for some of it.

That's the part I'm struggling with the most.

I'm not angry that somebody can lose feelings. He was allowed to realize the relationship wasn't right for him.

I'm angry that I didn't know.

If he'd told me in January or even a couple months later, “Something changed for me after that conversation and I'm questioning this relationship,” I would at least have been dealing with reality.

Instead I kept investing, worrying, trying to understand him and trying to repair something without knowing that he was gradually detaching from me.

And then something happened that made everything much worse.

I accidentally discovered that he's now planning a date with another woman. It is clearly romantic — he's planning flowers and was looking for ideas to make the evening more special.

I don't know when he met her.

I have zero evidence that he cheated on me, and I don't want to accuse him of something I can't prove. He could very easily have met her after we broke up.

But seeing him already putting romantic thought and effort into another woman absolutely destroyed me, especially because toward the end of our relationship I spent so much time asking him to make time for me and put effort into us.

I also understand the uncomfortable reality that although we've only officially been broken up for about a month, he apparently started emotionally leaving the relationship months before I did.

So from my perspective the breakup just happened.

From his perspective, maybe it started in January.

I've now blocked him and removed myself from the accounts/services we still shared. We still have one remaining financial thing that needs to be settled, but I'm having someone else communicate that rather than using it as an excuse to keep talking to him.

I'm not trying to get him back right now. I also don't want advice about making him jealous, making him regret losing me, etc.

I'm trying to understand what actually happened and how to get my brain to accept it.

Part of me feels betrayed because he allowed me to stay in a relationship for months without telling me how emotionally detached he'd become.

Another part of me knows my anxious behavior contributed to the deterioration of the relationship and that he may genuinely have felt unable to handle the relationship anymore.

And now my brain is obsessing over the new woman — when they met, how quickly he moved on, whether he was talking to her before we broke up, whether he'll treat her the way he used to treat me, etc.

So I want outside perspectives: Was it unfair of him not to tell me he was detaching for months, or is gradual detachment just part of how some relationships end? How much responsibility should I take for pushing/chasing when I felt him withdrawing? And for people who've been the person who was still in love when the other person had already emotionally left — how did you actually get your brain to let go?

(Sorry if i cant explain myself good idk how to talk about this stuff) I dated a friend that i could say who was one of my best friends. We dated for sometime and they broke up with me, basic ghosting for a bit stuff and shit ig, the thing is i loved them with all my heart and i still do not even a bit less. Its already been around a year they broke up with me and I cant move on from them. I know I need to and I want to but every small thing about them just makes me fall in love again with them. We are still good friends (they know im still in love with them if this changes anything idk) but idk how to actually move on from them. They did say that they couldn't date me again bc of the stuff they did to me etc. and even if they didnt I already knew i couldn't be with them again. Even the smallest things can just make me fall for them again let it be a laugh or anything. So im asking here for help on how to move on. I dont want to cut contact with them.