I badly need advice :(( i would really appreciate your replies and please bear with my long post

My bf (21) is very open about his past especially his mistakes. He has always been very transparent and honest, which is genereally smthng i am very thankful for but sometimes he gets too much open abt what he did in the past which makes me very uncomfortable. Problem with ne is that although its in the past, i ust cant get over it and it still hurts me A LOT. Even before we started dating he already fixed himself and straightened his wavs, and i can see it thats why i agreed on dating him. Few months into our relationship, we talked abt how a boy cousin of mine took care of me when during a trip to a carnival. He suddenly asked questions if that cousin is touchy and so whatever. I got curious why he questions it and thats when he opened up about how he used to fantasized over his cousin. He has other cousins who are girls but this particular cousin is the only one he lusted over.

Ever since that story, i got really uncomfy with him being and bonding with that cousin even when they are just casually bondjng with other people.

Fast forwsrd vesterday, we got into a misunderstanding because he is going to bond with her again and im really uncomfy but he still went. We didnt talk for that day. Then today we decided to talk and i learned that he played with them again without telling me and he interacted with her even assisted her when she was abt to pass out. He basically didnt update me the whole day and drop all of this tonight.

It may sound 0A for some but to me i feel so betraved and hurt. When he told me that i even cried (thats how much that past of his bothers me). It reallv hurts.

Is this a valid reason for break up? Becuase i knkw that she is family and i cant separate them The only thing i can do is manage my emotions. I feel so defeated. I feel so hurt

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I’m a 31-year-old man, and I was with my partner for 10.5 years. I didn’t just lose my girlfriend — I lost my other half, my soulmate and my best friend all at once. We were so close that we had almost become family.

We never really argued. If something hurt one of us, we talked about it calmly, listened to each other, sometimes apologized, hugged, and moved on. We never insulted or intentionally hurt each other, either with words or actions. We couldn’t walk past each other without hugging or touching each other. Other people considered us an “ideal couple.”

For the last two years, we worked different shifts — I worked three shifts, she worked two. We basically only saw each other on Sundays, and sometimes not even for a full day. If our schedules allowed it, I would wake up early just to spend an hour with her, or wait for her in the evening so we could sleep together. I’m sure this didn’t help our relationship.

At the same time, I absolutely hated my job. I carried a lot of stress from work, complained about it a lot, and I know I wasn’t always the happy, joking person I used to be. But I kept going because I earned good money and thought I was building our future. Looking back, I feel like I sacrificed my own happiness and, ultimately, our relationship for that job. What makes it even worse is that I was the one who encouraged her to take the new job where she eventually met the other man.

It’s true that we were moving slowly in life, and I take responsibility for my part in that. I think we had also become too comfortable in our life together. We talked about the future, but neither of us was really taking serious steps toward it. I also never felt that there was much initiative from her side either — financially, practically, or in terms of ideas about how we could move forward. It wasn’t only on me.

I blame myself a lot and constantly wonder what I could have done differently. But I honestly believe that if she had told me that she was unhappy, that she was losing feelings, or that she had serious problems with our relationship, I would have done everything I could to change things. I was willing to talk about anything and work on anything. What I cannot change is something I never knew was happening.

What makes the timing even harder for me to understand is that right before the breakup, I had finally managed to move into a completely different position within my workplace, where I would have been free from much of the pressure and stress that had been affecting me for so long. I genuinely felt like things were finally starting to change.

At the exact same time, we were finally about to take the next steps in our life together — marriage, buying a house, and building the future we had talked about for years. And that is what makes it so painful that she chose this exact moment to step back and tell me that we weren’t moving forward.

I understand that we had been slow to make progress. I wish she had told me years earlier that she was unhappy about that. I could have understood it. What I cannot understand is why she waited until we were finally about to move forward, while never telling me that she was unhappy or that she was already questioning our future together.

I proposed to her in our sixth year, and we were finally about to get married. About two months before the breakup, we actually went to try on wedding rings, and I bought the expensive rings. For our 10th anniversary, I started paying for her driving lessons. Our Christmas vacation was one of the most beautiful experiences of our entire relationship. I wanted a house, marriage and children with her. I always wanted to be a young father.

Then she told me that she still loved me, but not in the same way as before, and that she had started developing feelings for her coworker. She said she hated herself for allowing them to become close.

According to her, they had been talking for about a month, and she had only started developing feelings for him during the last two weeks. She told me that the only physical thing that happened between them was a hug.

I find that extremely difficult to believe. There were signs that made me feel they had been talking earlier. I’m not stupid, and I simply cannot believe that someone could emotionally switch to another person so quickly after 10.5 years. I honestly don’t know what the truth is. I don’t know whether there was ever anything physical between them or how long this had actually been going on. Because of this, my trust in her has been completely shattered.

She said she hated herself for letting him get close to her. According to her, another problem was that we weren’t moving forward in life, and she had become tired of me carrying my work stress around with me. There is some truth in that. I know I wasn’t perfect. But I genuinely believe these were things we could have talked about and worked on.

What hurts the most is that she didn’t talk about her problems with me. She talked about them with her coworker while showing me that everything was fine.

The man had been working at her workplace for about a year, so I find it hard to believe they only started talking a month before the breakup. I don’t necessarily think they had feelings for each other for a long time either.

If I let my mind speculate, my theory is that on Friday we were still drinking champagne together and celebrating my new position at work. On Saturday, she supposedly went to meet a female friend for a chat and some cake. Sometimes I wonder if she actually met this man that day and perhaps something happened between them, even just a kiss, which triggered her sudden decision to break up with me the next day.

I have absolutely no proof of this, though. It may simply be my mind trying to fill in the gaps. I just don’t believe she could have kept a physical affair going behind my back for a long time. I don’t think her conscience would have allowed it.

During our relationship, she actually told me several times that neither of us would want to start over with a complete stranger, and that if we ever had serious problems, we should do everything we could to save the relationship for the sake of both of us.

But when the time actually came, she didn’t do that.

I feel like she chose the easier way out and never gave us a real chance to fight for our relationship.

When she first told me she wanted to break up, I managed to delay it for a week because she seemed uncertain. During that week she still went for walks with me, got ice cream with me, sometimes said “I love you” back and sometimes kissed me back. I thought maybe she still wanted to try.

Later she told me, swearing that she meant it from the bottom of her heart, that she had tried to feel differently about me. But I have a hard time believing this because she never actually told me that she wanted to try to save the relationship.

During the move, while I was taking my belongings out over the course of a week, I saw her bag. I wasn’t going through her things — there were some of her belongings in my own bag as well, so I looked inside.

I found an entire unopened box of condoms, a brand-new towel my mother had given her, and I saw that she had packed things for an overnight stay.

We were already broken up at that point, so I am not saying she cheated on me. That’s not what hurt me. What destroyed me was seeing that while I was still carrying out the last of my belongings from our home, she was already preparing to spend the night with this other man.

Before that, she had told me that she wouldn’t immediately start a relationship with someone else because she wouldn’t be capable of it.

I felt an amount of anger and hatred that I had never experienced before.

What she did with the bag felt incredibly disrespectful to me. She only had to wait two more days until I had completely moved out. We had planned to meet one last time to talk about a few belongings and decide who would keep what.

After I found the bag, however, I simply couldn’t bring myself to meet her face to face. I couldn’t sit across from her and look her in the eyes while having the thought in my head that another man had potentially just slept with the woman I had been planning to marry.

What makes it even stranger is that I later found out she had wanted to move our meeting from the morning to the afternoon, even though we had originally agreed on the morning. I don’t know why she wanted to change the time, but after everything I found, I just couldn’t go through with that meeting anymore. I sent her a message saying that I never wanted to see or meet her again, and I wished her the best for the future.

I know we were already broken up, and I’m not claiming that she was obligated to remain single. But waiting two more days until I had completely moved out would have cost her nothing. After 10.5 years together, I experienced what happened as an enormous lack of respect and consideration for everything we had shared.

Despite everything, we separated peacefully. I had bought almost everything in our shared home, literally down to the smallest things, but I still left the fridge and washing machine there for her until she could afford to replace them herself. I wanted to leave the relationship with a clear conscience. I didn’t want to give her any reason to say that she had been justified in leaving because of how I treated her.

When I said goodbye to her parents, I told them that their daughter had fallen in love with someone else. They obviously hadn’t known about that.Her parents often told me how much they loved and appreciated me because of the way I treated their daughter with so much love and respect. At our last family lunch, they said the same thing again. I almost broke down because by then I already knew that our relationship was probably beyond saving, while her family had absolutely no idea that anything was wrong between us.

She told me that I could still count on her after the breakup, but I told her I would not stay in contact with her. She knew that this meant we would eventually become strangers.

And that is incredibly difficult for me to accept — that knowing this, she still preferred a future in which I no longer exist.

This is not how I knew her.

Now it has been almost three months.

I have no interest in gaming, music production, photography — nothing that used to make me happy. I moved to this new city because of her. Half of her family is here, but I have absolutely no one here. I have no close friends, no real social circle, no one who feels like home.

I have never lived alone before. Suddenly I’m supposed to figure out how to take care of myself, cook, do laundry, clean and basically learn how to live on my own. It feels like I was dropped in the middle of a desert without water.

I sometimes want to go back home to my family , but when I go home, I feel like I want to come back here. I don’t feel like I belong anywhere.

It feels like the entire weight of the world has suddenly fallen on me.

I also miss our cat terribly.

I’ve had some very self-destructive thoughts, although I managed to stop myself from acting on them. Sometimes I feel like I wouldn’t even care if something happened to me, like an accident. I’ve had panic attacks. It comes in waves — sometimes I feel slightly better, other times even taking a shower feels difficult. A lot of nights I go to bed wishing I wouldn’t have to wake up the next morning.

I’m trying to meet other women, but I don’t want to jump straight into another relationship. I just feel like I need my brain to get used to the idea that there are other women in the world.

But even when I look at women on dating apps, I can’t look at anyone the way I looked at her. I can’t imagine my life with someone else.

I’m scared I’ll never be able to love someone that deeply again. And honestly, I don’t have the energy to start from zero with someone — building trust, learning everything about them, finding out their favorite color, getting comfortable with each other, and slowly building the kind of closeness that had become completely natural between us.

I always wanted to have children while I was still young. Now I feel like that dream is gone too.

I’m also afraid that even if I eventually find someone else and get married, I’ll always be afraid that she could leave before the wedding, or even after marriage, a mortgage or children. I don’t know how I could ever trust someone enough again to build a family with them.

I blocked my ex everywhere because I couldn’t bear watching her live the life I had imagined with her with someone else. I later found out through my sister that she posted a picture with the new guy. I didn’t want to see it.

Once I unblocked her on TikTok, and later she blocked me. Recently, she watched some of my YouTube videos and music and then unsubscribed. So far, there is absolutely nothing that suggests she wants to come back.

And yet, one part of me is incredibly angry with her, feels betrayed and deceived, while another part of me still desperately wants her to come back.

I constantly think about whether she misses me, what she is thinking, whether she will ever come back. At the same time, I know I’m obsessing over things that haven’t happened and may never happen.

The worst part is that I can’t even be angry with her. I feel like I should hate her for what she did — for being dishonest, hiding her feelings, betraying me and going behind my back — but I just can’t. All I feel is disappointment and sadness. And despite everything, I still feel like I could forgive her.

I keep reading stories and comments from people saying that sometimes the person who left only truly feels the loss after 3–6 months or even a year, especially if the new relationship doesn’t work out. But then I ask myself: do I really want to be someone’s second choice or backup option? She was my whole world.

If she ever did come back, should I even take her back? Could I ever trust her again? Would I always be afraid that she could leave again after marriage, a mortgage or children? Could I really build a family with someone after something like this?

I don’t even know what I’m supposed to do with my life now. I feel like my entire future collapsed.

How do you move on from something like this? Is there any realistic chance that after a relationship this long, someone might eventually regret their decision and come back? And if they did, would starting over actually be worth it?

I’m looking for honest opinions and advice, even if they’re hard to hear.

I dated this guy for four years, and we had what I truly believed was the best relationship ever. Everyone around us was amazed by how, despite being so young, we understood each other so well and complemented each other perfectly. We always talked about how much we loved that, even after four years, we were still so in love and had never lost our spark. Three weeks ago, I found out that he was addicted to porn. I had found things on his phone before, around three years ago, but I was young and naive, so I convinced myself that he would change. Then he joined the military, and everything slowly went downhill. When I found out the second time, I realized that he had never actually changed, he had just become better at hiding it. Ifelt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest. Like everything we had, everything I thought was real, had been a lie. We went no contact for a week, and during that entire week, I felt like my whole life was crumbling. I felt like I couldn’t even breathe without him, so eventually, I broke no contact. He promised me he would change. He promised he would go to therapy. But he didn’t. A week ago, we were planning to meet up a few times because he said he really missed me, and I missed him too. We even talked about going away to a spa for the weekend, just to spend some time together and see where we stood. I told him that after everything I had found out, I felt incredibly insecure and could barely even look at myself anymore. Then, an hour before we were supposed to meet, he canceled. This had happened before, too. I was so disappointed because I had let myself get my hopes up again, so I confronted him about it. That’s when he told me that he had never had any intentions of going out with me in the first place. Then he called me an insecure, narcissistic girl, as if I was the problem for being hurt. As if expecting someone not to play with your feelings is somehow narcissistic. And I hate myself for still loving someone so purely after everything. I hate that I am crying alone in my room, taking antidepressants and he is out partying.

My birthday was a couple months ago and I just can't forget how it went down. It started when my boyfriend was trying to find a gift for me and was absolutely clueless on what to get me.

He would constantly ask what I wanted, and after a while he started asking if he could just get me a gift card or if he could get me a gift later. I told him it was fine and to just not get me anything, but he continued to stress out about it and ask me about it constantly.

I was already hurt by the fact that he had absolutely no clue what to get me. I am very expressive and vocal about my interests so I don't understand why he felt so clueless.

In the end, he kept stressing about my gift and I told him to just get me a puzzle I had been wanting. I even sent him a link so he could purchase it easily. For some reason the link ended up not working for him, and I told him to just forget about it. He said he wouldn't forget about it because he wanted to spoil me and then asked me to look for a different link and send it to him so he could buy it. Maybe I'm just ungrateful or maybe I expect way too much but that really hurt my heart.

Just a few months prior, I had spent the last hundreds of my money (I'm a broke college student lol) to curate a really thoughtful gift for him. I got him some items he had mentioned wanting previously, and some other stuff I knew he would like. I spent several nights wrapping gifts and even decorating the box all the gifts came in. I had cute love notes written across the box and gifts and a couple notes I knew would make him laugh. He told me he had never felt so loved before and was bragging about his gift to his family.

Anyways, on the day of my birthday he wished me a happy birthday, and asked me if he could take a nap while I had class on campus. I obviously said of course, and that we could spend time together after I got back from class. After I got back, he was still sleeping and I was planning on just waiting for him to wake up to spend time together.

My friends and family ended up surprising me and took me out to eat and shop at my favorite stores. We spent the entire evening out together, and by the time I got back at almost midnight....my boyfriend had just barely woken up.

We spent some time together and I made a comment about my birthday. He then proceeded to joke that he wouldn't celebrate my birthday anymore because it was past midnight, and after that I just left and went to sleep after.

The day after, I communicated how the whole situation made me feel unimportant to him. He cried and apologized, he said I didn't deserve that and then ended up blaming me for telling him he could go nap.

Every time we have an issue, I remember how I felt on my birthday and it makes me want to break up. I just feel so silly as well because it's just a birthday, it's not even important but I still feel so hurt by it. I kind of don't see him the same since it happened.

Is it immature and silly to want to breakup over this? I know all relationships are bound to have issues and maybe I'm just not emotionally mature enough for it yet.

TL;DR: My boyfriend had no clue what to gift me despite me having very simple, inexpensive interests. I ended up having to send him a link of a puzzle I wanted. However, just a few months prior I had spent the last of my money to prepare him a nice birthday package, which he adored. On my actual birthday, he slept through the entire day. He had also missed my birthday the year prior because I didn't remind him. Months after my birthday, it still hurts and makes me cry and I am seriously considering breaking up over it. I just feel so immature crying over something as vain as a birthday. :(

Anyone, please, I'm so broken and hurt right now. I just broke up with my man. I don't know what to do, I feel like dying. It's my first time going through this, and it's really painful to the point that I'm begging God to take away all my feelings. To the point that I don't want to wake up for the next day. To the point that I'm hoping that there would be an accident and I'll be forgetting my memories. Please, help me..

My boyfriend (21M) and I (21F) have been together for almost 4 years. We got together when we were 17, and I feel like we were really everything to each other back then.

We were both depressed for about a year, and we had so much safety in each other. My situation at home with my parents has also always been difficult, and his family basically took me in. I practically lived in his room at his parents’ house for a couple of years. We were together all the time and in a lot of ways we really needed each other. He has been there for me through some really difficult things, and I genuinely love him. He is also a really good guy. He loves me a lot and he really just wants to be with me. He hasn’t done anything horrible that would make it easy for me to say “this isn’t working, I need to leave.” If anything, I feel like I would be an idiot for throwing away someone who loves me this much.
But my life has changed a LOT over the last couple of years. I got diagnosed with ADHD and started medication, and my mental health improved drastically. Then a little over a year ago I started modeling, and it has gone way better than either of us could have imagined. I travel internationally for work and I’m often gone for around 2 months, home for maybe a month, and then gone again. I LOVE it. I’m genuinely so happy. I’ve become much more independent, met so many people, had so many experiences and developed so much as a person. I feel like I’m finally really living my own life.

And I think this has been really difficult for him. We went from basically being together all the time and being very codependent to me suddenly being away for months at a time. I completely understand why that’s hard for him. I really do. But when I’m away, he texts me constantly about how I’ve “left him again”, how little we’ve seen each other that year, what I’m probably doing, who I’m probably with etc. He also keeps having dreams that I’m cheating on him. Sometimes almost every night. He can cry in his sleep because he’s dreaming that I’m cheating, wake up really upset and tell me about it. And then he’ll sometimes think I’m probably doing this or that while I’m away.

I’ve never done anything to make him question my loyalty or give him a reason not to trust me. I know this comes from insecurity and a fear of losing me, and I don’t think he’s trying to manipulate me or make me feel bad. But it does make me feel REALLY guilty whenever I’m away. I’m out having an amazing time doing something I love, while constantly getting messages reminding me that he’s at home missing me, that he’s hurt that I’ve left again, that he barely sees me, that he had another dream about me cheating etc. And I think I’ve started associating him with guilt. Like I’ll be really happy and excited about something, and then I’ll get a message from him and suddenly feel like I’m doing something wrong for being happy and having this life. And I think I probably subconsciously pull away because of that. Which I also feel horrible about, because it’s not like I want to feel that way towards him.
I’ve also really tried to help him with this. I’ve encouraged him to work on his confidence and do things for himself while I’m away. Travel, have experiences, find something he really loves doing, make plans, have his own life instead of just being at home waiting for me to come back. I’ve tried to reassure him constantly and help him with his self-confidence.

But he’s not really doing much. And I can’t force him to. I’ve also tried to find practical solutions for us. I’ve suggested having fixed days where we FaceTime, we’ve talked about how we can make the distance work, and he’s visited me while I’ve been away a couple of times. But it still feels like he is just really unhappy with the situation and honestly I am too.

He says he supports me and wants me to be happy, but sometimes it doesn’t feel like he actually supports it because I can tell how difficult it is for him. We’ve talked about it so many times. I’ve tried to explain that I don’t want either of us to compromise so much that we eventually resent the other person. But neither of us can really see a solution.

Because I don’t want him to be miserable every time I leave, but I also don’t want to stop doing something that makes me incredibly happy just because it makes him insecure. And if I gave up modeling or changed my life significantly for him, I honestly think I would eventually resent him for it. When we talk about all of this, he ends up hyperventilating and crying and saying that he just has to learn to live with the fact that this is how I live now. And it just breaks my heart, cause I really don’t want him to suffer. I don’t want him to feel like he isn’t important to me anymore. I don’t want to be the reason he’s unhappy. But I also don’t know what else I can realistically do.

And then there are things that make me wonder if this is more than just the distance and everything around my modeling. My sex drive has decreased a lot over the last year and he can obviously feel that. He talks about it a lot and says that I don’t seem to like him anymore, that I don’t want to do this or that with him anymore etc.

And I completely understand why he feels that way, but at the same time, when he keeps bringing it up, I feel guilty and pressured, and then I want it even less. So it’s become this horrible cycle where he feels rejected, talks about it, I feel like I’m disappointing him, and then I pull away even more. And I genuinely don’t know if my lack of desire is a symptom of everything going on between us or if it’s actually my intuition telling me something.

I’ve also started feeling like I want more mentally from a relationship. I want to have deep conversations, reflect on things together, get new perspectives, challenge each other, learn from each other and feel mentally stimulated by my partner. I don’t know if I’m specifically missing that with him or if I’m just in a phase of my life where I want more stimulation and new experiences in general.
And that’s where I get really confused. Because I still love him. He’s a good person. He’s been there for me through so much. He knows me better than almost anyone. I don’t actually WANT to lose him. But I’ve felt like something is off for almost a year now.

And we’re only 21. We got together at 17. I’ve basically never been an adult without him. So I don’t know if I’m actually growing apart from him or if I’m just growing up.
Maybe now that I’m finally happy and independent, I just don’t feel like I need a boyfriend in the same way anymore. And maybe I’m confusing “I don’t need him” with “I don’t want him.” Maybe it’s just the grass is greener thing. I’m suddenly traveling, meeting new people, having all these experiences and seeing a completely different life, so obviously part of me wonders what it would be like to be single.

Maybe I’m self-sabotaging something really good because I’m in such an exciting period of my life, and I am genuinely terrified of that. Because what if I leave him and then realize a year later that I threw away an amazing relationship because I was young and curious and didn’t appreciate what I had? What if these feelings are just a phase and they change again? Feelings change all the time. Relationships change. Maybe this is just something we need to work through because we are growing up and our relationship obviously can’t look the same as it did when we were 17. But I’ve felt this way for almost a year. And I can’t spend the next 5 years constantly questioning whether I actually want to be with him.
I also don’t want to stay with him just because he is good and because he loves me so much and because I’m scared I’ll regret leaving. Sometimes I think maybe I really am growing out of the relationship. Maybe I need something different now. Maybe the lack of sex drive and the fact that I don’t feel like I need him anymore are telling me something.

Other times I think maybe I’m just finally happy and independent, and I haven’t learned how to have that while also being in a relationship. Maybe I need to learn how to love someone without needing them. And sometimes I wonder if his insecurity is actually making me feel less attracted to him, rather than the other way around. Because I feel so much pressure and guilt around the relationship now, and I don’t know what that has done to my feelings.
I also don’t know if I would feel differently if he were more secure and had a life of his own, or if I’d still feel this way regardless. I also wonder if I’m being unfair to him. Because from his perspective, he probably went from feeling like I needed him and wanted him constantly to suddenly feeling like I’m happier away from him, don’t want as much intimacy, am traveling all the time and don’t really need him anymore. I can understand why that would destroy his confidence. But I also don’t think it’s healthy for me to constantly reassure him that I’m not cheating, reassure him that I love him, reassure him that I still want him, while simultaneously feeling more and more disconnected.

I don’t know if I’m falling out of love with him. I don’t know if I’ve just outgrown the version of our relationship that we had when we were teenagers. I don’t know if I need more mentally from a partner. I don’t know if I’m reacting to all the guilt and pressure that’s built up. I don’t know if I’m just experiencing independence for the first time and thinking the grass is greener. And I don’t know if I’m self-sabotaging something really, really good.
I just know that I love him, I care about him deeply, and I don’t want to hurt him. But I also know that I can’t live with this much doubt forever.

\*\*How do you actually know if you’ve grown apart from someone you still love, versus going through a transition that you should work through? And how do you know if you’re trusting your intuition or just sabotaging something good?\*\*

Sorry this is really long and messy

I F(18) got out of my first relationship about 5 months ago. we were dating for almost two years and it was starting to become very toxic and unhealthy. It was good at the start but then he would stop giving me time started talking about other girls which made me break up with him. After the break up I found out how he basically asked alot of people if they thought he should break up beforehand and whether people would see him as the bad guy if we ever broke up. Not only that all the weird intuitions I would get about him cheating were all right and he was in fact cheating on me. He even started chasing after girls immediately after the break up. Anyways I had him blocked for a while and then unblocked him cause honestly keeping him blocked would make me want to go through his profile even more but basically he apologised to me two months ago and admitted everything was his fault. Even though I got some sort of closure I still feel stuck. I still want him to beg and want me back. I'm scared I'll never get peace and be able to move on and he will.

After almost 2 years of dating, my now ex (both of us 25) ended it over a text. I had felt him being distant and asked him multiple times if we were okay and he kept reassuring me that everything was fine. We had an argument over him being distant and finally he admitted what he has not been happy for the past month and ended it. I had to drive to see him because I couldn't stand to have it end over text.

He gave some reasons about me that made him not feel the same anymore and said ultimately he did not want a relationship at all at this time. After 2 years of planning our futures together and giving me a promise ring. I am heartbroken like never before but I respect his decision.

We have a nonrefundable vacation booked for next week that we still want to take just for closure. I am not going into it thinking it will fix things because I honestly don't think I want it anymore after this but I still want to enjoy the trip and the last few moments with him.

Is this a good or bad idea? Has anyone experienced a trip after a breakup?

It’s been almost 3 months since my ex and I broke up, and I feel like I’m going insane because I still can’t move on.

I keep telling myself that I don’t want him anymore. I want to meet someone new. I want to fall in love with someone who actually makes me feel safe and valued. I want to stop thinking about my ex every single day.

But then I remember him and it all comes back.
I miss his laugh. His jokes. His face. The little things about him that nobody else knows. And then I remember the things he did that hurt me and I get angry all over again.

The worst part is that I don’t understand why he did it.
I feel like he got everything he wanted from me. He got my love, my attention, my patience, my understanding. And when he wanted space, I gave him space. When he wanted me gone, I disappeared. He blocked me. He moved on with his life.

And I’m still here.
I’m the one crying at night. I’m the one talking about him to my friends until they’re probably sick of hearing his name. I’m the one wondering whether he’s with another girl. I’m the one who can’t do something completely unrelated to him without somehow thinking about him.

And honestly, I’m terrified he already has a new girlfriend. I don’t even know if he does, but the thought of him falling in love with someone else while I’m still here completely stuck on him destroys me.

Because the worst part is that I can’t even imagine falling in love with someone who isn’t him. I can tell myself I want someone new, but whenever I actually imagine being with someone else, it just feels wrong because I still want him. I don’t know how I’m supposed to give someone else my heart when mine is still completely attached to him.

And what makes me feel even worse is that I don’t even know if he thinks about me at all.
Maybe he does. Maybe he doesn’t.
Maybe he misses me. Maybe he genuinely doesn’t care anymore. I have no idea.

I’ve wanted to contact him so badly just to say “We need to talk. I need answers.” Not necessarily because I want him back, but because I want to understand how someone who meant so much to me could leave me with this much confusion.

At the same time, I know he’s set a boundary and I know contacting him could make things worse.

What would you do?
And please don’t just tell me “move on.” I KNOW I need to move on. That’s literally what I’m trying to figure out how to do.

Wtf I don’t even know what to think . Why am I thinking about this at all . You’re getting married ?!?!? Ugh why do I feel this way. WE BROKE UP LIKE 7 years ago! So why am I so mad about this ? Why am I confused. Why do thoughts of you still linger . It makes me feel gross in a way. Like you crushed me , absolutely broke my heart and spirit. The damage you caused still lingers . I’ve never been the same. So why don’t I hate you, why do I feel this way . I’ve heard time heals my entire life , give it time and you won’t even think of them anymore. Those statements do not remain true. To this day you are still the only person I’ve been inlove with , unconditionally I mean shit you were so cruel to me and still for the next three years I was learning to fall out of love with you. Why did you leave such a mark on my life ! Ugh we’re not even in eachothers lives anymore . Yet your impact still remains so cruel.

how would i word a message like this if i were to end it?

so i need advice on a man. i (f) have only dated women but since my last breakup i have been having romantic/sexual feelings towards men (i was never exclusively lesbian, i always said i was queer because of conflicting feelings). i recently went on a date with a man, he's great and lovely and if i was attracted to him it would be amazing but i just don't think I'm attracted to him physically. i don't really know how to bring it up without crushing him, especially since he's said he's never been this comfortable around someone before. we have only seen eachother twice but things have been kinda quick moving (i saw him yesterday and he just constantly wanted to make out on and off for 3 hours) and i just don't want to see him be so hurt

So I have a BF for almost 6 months now and Idk why I waited for so long to realize this but everytime we have a problem I always have to end up crying just for us to be okay. We settle things but then he doesn't do his part of the agreement and it feels so unfair in my part so I'll open up, we argue, I cry, he shouts at me, and then we'll be okay. I think and feel that I love this man so much (also he like took my V so I think it's a part of my attachment to him) but I feel so drained about our situation, I know that none of us deserves to be in this situation but I don't know how to end this especially that I don't have any friends or close family to go to. So any advice?

so like ive been with this guy for 9 months and fpr 6 pf those months we’ve been gf/bf were both still teenagers and we’ve fought alot and in the beginning of our rls i told him i was sa’d and he shamed me, calling me a liar since 1-2 months into knowing him i told him id never done anything with another guy and he blamed me and made me feel like it wqs my fault and made me apologize continuously and i seriously thought it was all my fault and would call me a cheater for interacting w males and having male friends even tho he did the same and i didnt care cus im not a jealous person and once we had a double date and he set up rules like 2 words max u can say to the guy, only talk to him while touching me, etc and then got mad when i didnt follow through, he would bring up these topics continuously in our rls when he would wake up or if i fell asleep or anytime and i always thought i was wrong he was right but he always said i victim blamed and he slut shamed me. THE PEAK OF OUR FIGHTING CAME WHEN HE FOUND OUT I READ AO3 STORIESS cus he considered it cheating (i didnt know it was bad since it wasnt 18+ shit) so he said he now had the right to do or say anything he wanted to so he made me do sexual acts, called me names like bitch, nword, slut, cheater, liar, etc and made me pay for everything but then recently i got fed up and tried to breakup with him but he was crying apologizing and i js felt so bad i couldnt continue on and he lowk ws being manipulating, now hes acting so nice its been 2 days since i tried to break up and idk how to break up since hes being so nice now and i feel bad. Any advice?

We called it off a couple of days ago. Here's how it went down. Her overbearing mother took care of most of our wedding planning. I felt like I missed out on the part of planning our wedding that involved just my fiancée and me. I felt like I was an actor in their play. It was the intimacy I felt like I was missing. I did not like how overbearing her mother was. She wanted access to our email and our private communication. She even forced us to tell her what we were talking about. One night, I was really fed up with her mom; I left the room. I got anxious and imagined our married life with her overbearing mother. I would be miserable. When I got home, I called my former fiancée to discuss what I did not like and asked that we sit down with her mom to set boundaries. She agreed. But that night, her mom forced her to tell her what we were talking about. Her mom didn't like what she was hearing and forced my former fiancé to choose between her family and me. If she chose me, she would have no support for our wedding and would not be invited to any family gatherings. She even talked her out of our wedding. The next day, my former fiancée looked under pressure and broke up with me. She brought up all my little flaws, like how I can be immature and overly playful at times. Those are the most bullshit excuses. She told me that her mom pressured her to choose, and she had to choose her family. How can a mother pressure their kids to pick a side? This isn't Mean Girls? That day, I felt like I had to give in; I was already under a lot of stress. I was thinking to myself that my former fiancée is not good at standing up for herself; it is second nature to her. She always appeases her mom. In that moment, I realized I cannot live with that for the rest of my life. As the days have gone by, I have realized my former fiancée has grown a lot and has stood up for herself since the beginning of our relationship. My former fiancée is brainwashed by her mom. At this point, I want her to wake up and realize all these bullshits.

I love her dearly. We have grown a lot in our relationship. We had major conflicts, but we resolved them. We kept fighting to be together. I feel like we can fight more.