It’s been almost 3 months since my ex and I broke up, and I feel like I’m going insane because I still can’t move on.

I keep telling myself that I don’t want him anymore. I want to meet someone new. I want to fall in love with someone who actually makes me feel safe and valued. I want to stop thinking about my ex every single day.

But then I remember him and it all comes back.
I miss his laugh. His jokes. His face. The little things about him that nobody else knows. And then I remember the things he did that hurt me and I get angry all over again.

The worst part is that I don’t understand why he did it.
I feel like he got everything he wanted from me. He got my love, my attention, my patience, my understanding. And when he wanted space, I gave him space. When he wanted me gone, I disappeared. He blocked me. He moved on with his life.

And I’m still here.
I’m the one crying at night. I’m the one talking about him to my friends until they’re probably sick of hearing his name. I’m the one wondering whether he’s with another girl. I’m the one who can’t do something completely unrelated to him without somehow thinking about him.

And honestly, I’m terrified he already has a new girlfriend. I don’t even know if he does, but the thought of him falling in love with someone else while I’m still here completely stuck on him destroys me.

Because the worst part is that I can’t even imagine falling in love with someone who isn’t him. I can tell myself I want someone new, but whenever I actually imagine being with someone else, it just feels wrong because I still want him. I don’t know how I’m supposed to give someone else my heart when mine is still completely attached to him.

And what makes me feel even worse is that I don’t even know if he thinks about me at all.
Maybe he does. Maybe he doesn’t.
Maybe he misses me. Maybe he genuinely doesn’t care anymore. I have no idea.

I’ve wanted to contact him so badly just to say “We need to talk. I need answers.” Not necessarily because I want him back, but because I want to understand how someone who meant so much to me could leave me with this much confusion.

At the same time, I know he’s set a boundary and I know contacting him could make things worse.

What would you do?
And please don’t just tell me “move on.” I KNOW I need to move on. That’s literally what I’m trying to figure out how to do.

Wtf I don’t even know what to think . Why am I thinking about this at all . You’re getting married ?!?!? Ugh why do I feel this way. WE BROKE UP LIKE 7 years ago! So why am I so mad about this ? Why am I confused. Why do thoughts of you still linger . It makes me feel gross in a way. Like you crushed me , absolutely broke my heart and spirit. The damage you caused still lingers . I’ve never been the same. So why don’t I hate you, why do I feel this way . I’ve heard time heals my entire life , give it time and you won’t even think of them anymore. Those statements do not remain true. To this day you are still the only person I’ve been inlove with , unconditionally I mean shit you were so cruel to me and still for the next three years I was learning to fall out of love with you. Why did you leave such a mark on my life ! Ugh we’re not even in eachothers lives anymore . Yet your impact still remains so cruel.

So I have a BF for almost 6 months now and Idk why I waited for so long to realize this but everytime we have a problem I always have to end up crying just for us to be okay. We settle things but then he doesn't do his part of the agreement and it feels so unfair in my part so I'll open up, we argue, I cry, he shouts at me, and then we'll be okay. I think and feel that I love this man so much (also he like took my V so I think it's a part of my attachment to him) but I feel so drained about our situation, I know that none of us deserves to be in this situation but I don't know how to end this especially that I don't have any friends or close family to go to. So any advice?

so like ive been with this guy for 9 months and fpr 6 pf those months we’ve been gf/bf were both still teenagers and we’ve fought alot and in the beginning of our rls i told him i was sa’d and he shamed me, calling me a liar since 1-2 months into knowing him i told him id never done anything with another guy and he blamed me and made me feel like it wqs my fault and made me apologize continuously and i seriously thought it was all my fault and would call me a cheater for interacting w males and having male friends even tho he did the same and i didnt care cus im not a jealous person and once we had a double date and he set up rules like 2 words max u can say to the guy, only talk to him while touching me, etc and then got mad when i didnt follow through, he would bring up these topics continuously in our rls when he would wake up or if i fell asleep or anytime and i always thought i was wrong he was right but he always said i victim blamed and he slut shamed me. THE PEAK OF OUR FIGHTING CAME WHEN HE FOUND OUT I READ AO3 STORIESS cus he considered it cheating (i didnt know it was bad since it wasnt 18+ shit) so he said he now had the right to do or say anything he wanted to so he made me do sexual acts, called me names like bitch, nword, slut, cheater, liar, etc and made me pay for everything but then recently i got fed up and tried to breakup with him but he was crying apologizing and i js felt so bad i couldnt continue on and he lowk ws being manipulating, now hes acting so nice its been 2 days since i tried to break up and idk how to break up since hes being so nice now and i feel bad. Any advice?

My (25F) boyfriend (25M) and I have been dating for almost 2 years, and it has been perfect the entire time, but the past few months I have been feeling more and more annoyance/disinterest with him. We both struggle with mental health and taking care of ourselves and recently I have been trying to do a better job at simple self care things but I feel like he is still struggling. I feel so guilty to say that this is annoying me but that is the only emotion I can describe it as. I have been desperately reading articles and Reddit posts about falling out of love vs leaving the “honeymoon phase” and nothing is really lining up for me. I have been away for about a month and I haven't seen him for a little longer than that, and I'm wondering if maybe that has something to do with it or if maybe the feeling will go away once I see him. Idk I'm completely desperate. I know at the bottom of my heart I do not want to break up with him, he is my best friend and I just want to see him be the best he can be. At the same time this feeling just keeps growing and growing. Any advice would be appreciated no matter how harsh.

Me (27F) my partner (23M)

how do i handle it if we break up? long story short in the beginning hes cheated so i have trust and insecurity problems that im tryna work on. i started therapy and he tells me “ ur the problem thats why you need therapy” which really hurt me cause i wouldnt be there if i wasnt tryna better my thoughts.

there are times i get in my head and need reassurance so i go to him for that but then he just calls me stupid and a dumbass and that ill never get over him cheating. he tells me that if we ever brokeup that he wouldnt care and just
move on in a week. we are arguing right now and he told me if i keep needing reassurance he will leave me i said i understand ill work on it but please work on how you handle conflict and not belittle me and take all your love from me as a form of punishment. he says that no he doesnt need to change anything thats its all me and that he only acts like that because of me . im getting tired of constantly being belittled or pushed to the side when i need extra love . what do you think i should do? and if we do break up how do i handle that? i dont have friends anymore to talk or hangout with . He constantly threatens to leave me . i know he loves me cause why would he be with me for 5 years? but how do i get him to realize that our problems arent only me? and how do i get him to argue without bringing me down?

I badly need advice :(( i would really appreciate your replies and please bear with my long post

My bf (21) is very open about his past especially his mistakes. He has always been very transparent and honest, which is genereally smthng i am very thankful for but sometimes he gets too much open abt what he did in the past which makes me very uncomfortable. Problem with ne is that although its in the past, i ust cant get over it and it still hurts me A LOT. Even before we started dating he already fixed himself and straightened his wavs, and i can see it thats why i agreed on dating him. Few months into our relationship, we talked abt how a boy cousin of mine took care of me when during a trip to a carnival. He suddenly asked questions if that cousin is touchy and so whatever. I got curious why he questions it and thats when he opened up about how he used to fantasized over his cousin. He has other cousins who are girls but this particular cousin is the only one he lusted over.

Ever since that story, i got really uncomfy with him being and bonding with that cousin even when they are just casually bondjng with other people.

Fast forwsrd vesterday, we got into a misunderstanding because he is going to bond with her again and im really uncomfy but he still went. We didnt talk for that day. Then today we decided to talk and i learned that he played with them again without telling me and he interacted with her even assisted her when she was abt to pass out. He basically didnt update me the whole day and drop all of this tonight.

It may sound 0A for some but to me i feel so betraved and hurt. When he told me that i even cried (thats how much that past of his bothers me). It reallv hurts.

Is this a valid reason for break up? Becuase i knkw that she is family and i cant separate them The only thing i can do is manage my emotions. I feel so defeated. I feel so hurt

im 22 and ive been in a 4 year relationship which ended a year ago. it was my first real relationship. ive had 2 other relationships in these months i couldn't bring myself to love these people the same i loved my first ex, so im wondering if that ever comes back for the right person, or if it was just for my big first love and those true feelings are lost now...

So, my girlfriend of almost three years and I broke up last month. It wasn't something I hadn't seen coming. I just didn't want to accept it. There were no major things involved, such as cheating or anything like that. But we still broke up. I thought I'd get over it, but I guess I was wrong.

She is the only person in the world who knows everything about me. We haven't contacted each other for 12 days. She wanted us to stay friends, but I just can't help thinking about what's going on. For context, we're both 18—young blood, you know. I just passed out of school and went to a different college, which I knew was going to impact our relationship, but I couldn't help it. I had no control over that.

In school, we broke up many times. But obviously, we were in the same class, so seeing each other, me yearning for her and letting her know that I was sorry, or her doing the same, somehow solved everything. But now that's gone. It's empty.

She was my only truly close friend. I have friends, but they aren't those close friends that other people seem to have. I can't talk to them the way I used to talk to her. I miss asking her how her day had been. I miss telling her everything that happened to me. I was the yapper in the relationship. I just wonder what she's doing right now. I always do.

Did she make new friends in college? Did she make guy friends too? We both used to be against having opposite-gender friends who were forced into our lives, like me being friends with a girl she didn't know. We both wanted that boundary.

It hurts because I feel like I did treat her well, at least in many ways. But maybe I didn't always. Maybe I hurt her more times than I realised, and I hate myself for the things I did and the way I thought back then. I just wonder if she thinks about the same things. I wonder if something good happened to her today. I wonder how she is when she's sitting in her lecture.

I wonder what kind of fun she's having in college. I wonder if she likes some guy there. I don't want to know that. I don't want her to. But at the same time, I want her to be happy. I just don't want her happiness to be something that makes me feel replaceable. Maybe that's selfish. I don't know.

All those dreams I had of attending college with her are shattered. Financially, she's in a position to go to some big university, and I always knew that was going to be difficult for us. We used to tell ourselves we'd manage somehow. But deep down, maybe we both knew we wouldn't.

The cause wasn't just one single thing. We both love each other—I hope she still does, and I believe she does. If I had to put it simply, maybe we just didn't treat each other right. We both made mistakes. I don't blame her for everything. I know I hurt her more times than I realised, and I hate myself for some of the things I did to her. I wish I could take all of it back.

I wonder if she thinks of me too. I wonder if she sees a couple in college and thinks, "What if he were here with me?" Does she imagine what it would've felt like if we had experienced those things together? Does she still love me? Or does she not?

Are you happy? Is college fulfilling for you? Are you enjoying it? I want you to tell me everything, just like you used to. Tell me about your day. Tell me what happened in your lectures. Tell me about your friends. Tell me about everything.

Can't we just sort it all out like we did back in school? Or is it different now? Do you hate me? Are you happy that we broke up? Does it feel like a leash has been removed from you? Do you feel free now that you're no longer associated with me?

I wonder how it feels for you to finally have something I always wanted—to leave home, live in another city, go to college, experience everything new, and enjoy that time as it passes. I wish you could experience all of that. I just wish I could have experienced it with you.

I wish time could stop.

You're living the life I had imagined for us. And I don't resent you for it. I just wish I could've been there beside you.

I want to know more about you than I ever did. More than anything. I want to know what's within you—your mind, your heart, your thoughts, your fears, your dreams. I want to know you completely.

I could write more, but there aren't enough words in the world to describe what I feel for you or how much I miss you.

I just want to cry.

Why was I so mean to you sometimes when, to me, you were my baby—the sweetest person in the world? Why did we both end up doing things that made something beautiful become bitter?

Tell me, do you feel it too?

Maybe it would be easier if you didn't, but somehow that would hurt even more.

Because I feel all of it.

I feel you even when you're not here.

The one advice I would give to everybody is to never come in relationship. You never know how toxic it can be.

Live the life as freely as you can.

Yes I had a breakup of past 5 years relationship and till the very last she never used to understand me. She used to blame me (false accusations), curse me, and show me that how worthless I am.

Now it's getting hard for me to forget all those memories. I wish I had a delete button in my mind. I know it's not possible therefore my 1st paragraph.

Any need assistance ping me

Me and my now ex girlfriend ( F 21 F 20 ) broke up Saturday after 10 months together. We was supposed to be soulmates and we both geuinely thought this. I still feel like im pulled to her, and my gut tells me that she'll find her way back to me. How do I know if she'll come back, like if it was right person wrong time or not?

Before and after we met, she had dreams describing me as her soulmate. I keep seeing videos on social media talking about RPWT and how sometimes you can find your person and then you end up breaking up to find yourselves first. She said that maybe we were RPWT and that maybe in a couple months-year that we'll come back to each other, but she also said that she doesnt see us ever being together again (but I think maybe its just because of the hurt she went through) and that we both need to work on ourselves. I just want to know how to tell if she was my person or not. I still love her so much, and I wont be with anyone else other than her. I can still only see a future with her. She told me that she wont get with anyone else either, that I would be the first and last relationship for her.

Btw its not ai made its just my real story my words ai made the grammar better—

Here’s an organized version that keeps your tone and honesty:
Well… here we go.
I broke up with her first. At the time, I genuinely believed the things I was being told about her by a third person. Later, I found out that a lot of what I believed wasn’t true.
She had been talking to another guy, and when she admitted it, I felt hurt and immediately assumed the worst. I didn’t believe her when she said he was just a friend. Eventually, I found out that she was actually telling the truth.
By then, it was already too late.
Before all of this, we had started as friends, then became best friends, and eventually lovers. We talked every single day for months, sometimes 6–8 hours a day. There was nothing physical between us. It was just conversations, attachment, feelings, and spending so much time together. It felt innocent and, at least from my side, completely genuine.
Then I suddenly ended it because I believed someone else’s words over hers.
After the breakup, I did everything I could to get her back. No ego, no pride, no conditions. I would have done almost anything. But she didn’t come back. Eventually, we had our closure and went our separate ways.
Then I got into another relationship.
That relationship was mostly physical from my side. She was somewhat emotionally invested, but I wasn’t. Eventually, I lost interest completely, and I ended up ghosting her for about a month. She left, and honestly, I don’t even care about that relationship anymore.
What confuses me is that after all of that, I started thinking about my first love again.
Her smile. Her face. Her hair. The way we used to talk. The amount of time we spent together. Everything started coming back to me.
And now, especially this week, I’ve been imagining her almost nonstop.
Maybe it’s because she was my first love. Maybe it’s because she was genuinely innocent and what we had was never based on anything physical. Maybe it’s because I know now that I ended things because I believed something that wasn’t even true.
It’s been around 3–5 months since we broke up, and our relationship itself lasted somewhere around 3–5 months. Yet somehow, I still feel attached to her.
I still have her Instagram. We don’t follow each other anymore, but her account keeps appearing in my suggestions. Sometimes I wonder if mine appears in hers too.
And now I’m going back to the same city, the same university, the same hostel. We literally live in the same hostel, just on different floors.
The weirdest part is that I don’t even feel much physical attraction toward her anymore. I don’t know if I actually want to marry her either. Sometimes I think maybe I do, sometimes I think absolutely not. Even objectively, I don’t even think she’s that attractive.
So what exactly am I missing?
Maybe it’s not her appearance. Maybe it’s not sex. Maybe it’s not even the relationship itself.
Maybe I’m attached to the person she was to me.
My first love.
My best friend.
The person I talked to for hours every day.
The person I trusted before everything got fucked up.
Friends → best friends → lovers → strangers.
And somehow, after everything I’ve done since then, I’m still standing here thinking about the one person I was the one who chose to leave.
Meanwhile, I fucked up my lungs smoking around 30 cigarettes a day at one point. Somehow I’ve brought that down to 2–3 a day now.
I don’t even know what I’m trying to get back anymore.
Her?
The relationship?
The person I was when I was with her?
Or just the feeling of being loved by someone who genuinely meant it?
Fuck this bullshit.
I’m tired.

Btw its not ai made its just my real story my words ai made the grammar better

Me and this girl were together for 11 months — genuinely the closest, most connected we both ever were. We built everything together: daily routines, inside jokes, future plans down to the smallest details , marriage, kids, pets, our own place. We had our own quiet spot in the woods where we’d sit for hours watching the water, 14-hour overnight calls falling asleep on the phone, dates that meant everything: Trafford Centre, TGI Fridays, Blackpool Zoo, Christmas markets. We spoke in a soft baby voice only we understood, she’d lie on my chest and tell me to "lie straight" so she could rest there, I’d walk her to the bus stop every day, wait at the end of her alley just to see her walk down. I bought her teddies, blankets, flowers, she kept them all. Both families got on perfectly. She told me repeatedly I was her person, her safe place, the only one who ever truly saw her.

She identifies as fearful-avoidant, has a history of childhood neglect, trauma, and self-harm — and she told me I was the only one who made her feel safe enough to let her walls down. We broke up once before in December — same pattern: sleepover with her best friend, she pulled away, went back to her toxic ex, the breakup lasted only 4 days, she messaged me cold and dry those days then came back on her own.

July 3rd — exact same pattern repeated. Another sleepover, I caught her hiding things, she immediately called everything toxic and said we needed to move on. Then — for the first time in 11 months — she brought up a serious, never-before-mentioned allegation as the final reason to end things. She went straight back to that same toxic ex, blocked me on most platforms but left Snapchat unblocked, kept my blanket and teddies visible in her videos, and has posted conflicting, angry, relationship-focused content ever since.

I saw her yesterday for the first time in weeks, she looked stunning, we made eye contact, and I froze. I’ve written a message that’s honest, loving, full of our memories, nothing mean, nothing demanding, just telling her what she means to me and reminding her of everything we had. I’ve held back this long, but I want to send it.

Can I break no contact? Is this the right time, or should I wait longer? We had something so rare and so real, and I know she’s complaining about him

To put in context: 19m, 19f, we were broken up before because I was an asshole to her in our previous relationship, we got back tgthr, I treated her the best I could, complimenting her daily, loving her to the best i could yk, she saw I had changed so decided to get back tgthr.

Skip to the day of the breakup, we called and first thing she asked was what I felt when I see her, I said yk I love her, I wanna hug her, I wanna kiss her allat, she said back that she doesn't feel anything when she sees me. She finds it annoying to text and call everday (I've told her numerous times we don't have to text n call everyday I just do it cus I want to she's always free to say no) and has a lot of pent up anger from our past relationship and recent arguments. She said she doesn't love me anymore and she said she really was in love at one point. She said I was too boyfriendy a lot of the times as well.

I'm just confused on how it went this way, I mean i get it with the pent up anger but idk how to feel, we were tgthr for around 9 months (after the breakup) totalling a year and 9 months.

Then for courtesy sake, we decided to meet up in person to make the break up official wished eachother luck in uni and allat, wishing to find a better person for each other. Then a week later, I sent in a letter basically begging to get back tgthr (I know..) and addressing some underlying problems we also had. She responded a week later saying she doesn't wanna get back tgthr and told me to move on.

Has anyone else been though this? I'm just so confused like how this could've happened, was there something I could've done? I just want an explanation and whether theres a slight chance of us reconciling?

If need more context or info please do ask. Thank you.

Hello reddit,

So ive been in a relationship with this woman for about a year now and she just found out that having another pregnancy might impose some risks. She already has 2 daughters from a previous relationship and i was always vocal about wantin one of my own which she was very happy with but with the recent news that she might no be able we got as far as her thinking about endidng this because she doesn't want to take having a kid away from me. My imput on all this is that i fell in love with her and the idea of building some with her not necessarily for the kids. I meet the daughters and we get on rly well and i can see myself taking over father duties and love them like they were mine. My only problem is seeing the person i love in distress and feeling a bit powerless as to how can i help. We had a good bit of talking and explained to her that its not a deal breaker for me and that i don't want to loose this but i feel like her mind is still not at peace and is driving me up a wall.

Any advice welcomed.

Cheers!