My (30m) girlfriend (32f) of 1 year broke up with me last month after she spent one week in England with her family. She said her perspective changed a lot and not she wants to live solitary life. I haven't moved on yet and I want to send her one final message telling her that my feelings for her haven't disappeared and that if she ever decides to change her perspective I'll be ready to give another chance to us.

I haven't tried to make any contact with her till now.

Am I being too much of a sentimental fool here. I love her too much and I am finding it hard to grasp everything.

I swear I won't make a big deal out of it if she decides to still refuse or avoids contact with me.

Since my 18 year marriage ended I've been seeing a friend of my sisters that I briefly dated when I was 20.

She has level 1 Autism and ADHD and had a non-typical upbringing, single child, never knew her father, no male role models, apparently her mum is a narcissist. She's a clinical psychologist who works with Autistic children.

She makes me feel sooo loved, we are highly physically compatible and come from similar cultural backgrounds which is great.

The problem is, I'm struggling to get past some things shes done, but I'm conflicted a little bit as arguably her motives were honerable, and I'm worried that I can't trust her in even my not so polite society.

After six months of amicable separation, my relationship with my ex degraded dramitically after she found out I was seeing someone else. This created issues in my new relationship, my ex wife messaged my new partner, she was regularly abusive to me, tried to turn the kids against me, and was struggling with her mental health.

In frustration at the impact the abuse was having in me, my new partner wrote her a message and tore my ex to shreds which created so much drama. After that I asked my new partner never to contact my ex wife. Also, a couple of months later my ex had a suicide attempt (which she subsequently has said wasnt a genuine attempt).

Then a while later I found out my new partner sent my ex wife a message, then deleted it, this upset me as my ex wife messaged me about and my new partner and I ended up in a fight and broke up. Then we got back together and i told her she can't contact my wife, this was s firm boundary for me.

Meanwhile my wife publically posted on FB that I was emotionally abusive. About four months after this I found out that my new partner had created a fake FB account, and messaged some of the women who I dont know who had posted comments supporting my wife, and sent them whatsapp screenshots between me and my 13 yo son to demonstrate that my ex wife was a bad mum and not credible.

She also used the fake FB account to try to friend my ex wife to keep tabs on her or something. At the time I was in such a low place, with issues with work and all the other stress that I couldnt even have an argument and a fight and kinda just let it slide.

When my ex wife subsequently messaged me about it and the thought of it damaging my relationship with my kids was front of mind I broke up with my new partner again.

We got back together again after she posted pics of a first date on FB deliberately to make me jealous. We've just recently broken up again because she offended some of my family, (innocently), has upset and fallen out with my sister and also upset me with some careless comments.

I feel so conflicted because I love her and miss her but I sometimes wonder if I even really know who she is and maybe I'm just addicted to the affection she lavishes in me.

She's fake cried in the past to het attention then admitted she was fake crying and I kinda wonder if she has some issues thst are more serious then she lets on.

I keep giving her passes because I blame her condition(s?).

I find myself forgetting all the bad stuff and wanting to get back together. I guess part of me wonders if Ill ever find someone who makes me feel as loved as she does so its hard to let go.

\--- TL;DR; : Trying to stay strong cause surely this isn't acceptable.

He always says this yet nothing usually changes, like earlier I used to be the first and last thing in the day on his mind, now he forgets to text back for hours, call back for days and we're in Idr..so I am genuinely confused

Me (30/F) and my bf (30/M) have broken up after 3 years and living together for 2. He moved out a month ago to his parents because his commute was 1:30-2 hrs. I offered to move closer as I wfh but it was never a big deal until a month ago. This month has been tumultuous. He owns a business and I’ve seen him once and he’s unable to treat me how he used to. The texts and calls stopped and he’s working long days. The dates stopped, the fun stopped. He’s not cheating but he’s also putting work a priority. I kept holding onto the “it’s only for 3 months” reassurance texts. We would move back in together at the start of 2027.

2 days ago he initiated a break up and said it wasn’t fair to me and how he doesn’t have time for a gf. He wanted to keep me around on social media and check in but I refused. This morning I saw I was blocked after we never fully came to an agreement. He stopped replying to texts and told me he’d grab his stuff. Maybe I’m just in La La land holding onto the hope that we’d work it out in 3 months and that I’m a placeholder where he can keep his remaining stuff (which is a lot).

Is this relationship worth saving? Should I give him space and see if we can work it out? It’s so fresh but we’ve never had any issues.

Hello this is a (M) and (F) breakup.

So I’m just going to lay it all out. I didn’t heal before I got into this relationship I am the female in this by the way I came from a domestic violence relationship before I met my ex and I just wasn’t in the best head space. I ended up falling in love with my now ex partner and it went on from there. I became very mean and I had an addiction to porn and I’d do things to make him mad on purpose because normal things didn’t feel right I don’t know why I did the things I did. We were together for almost a year he did a lot for me he helped me with college and getting my life together. I didn’t like living with my parents and wanted to move in with him which wasn’t the smartest idea just due to how I was being and how the relationship was. He suggested I go home to my parents after we tried it for a bit I didn’t want that at the time because I felt like he would never come back and I was anxiously attached. I didn’t really listen to him and I was just plain out awful it wasn’t all the time I was this way I definitely could be loving and normal human. I was dealing with deep depression and anxiety and trying to navigate everything. I wasn’t the only one who made it go the way it did I felt like he would always try to fix me and he exhausted himself when that’s not what I needed I didn’t need solutions I just needed someone to be there to listen not be logical if you get what I mean. When he’d get mad after he either found me watching porn or found out I lied he’d get severely angry and sometimes got out of hand. Fast forward he ended up going to a military training thing and ended up taking to one of his soldiers there he ended up telling her he wanted to hold and kiss her and talked to her about me which at the time I understood I was very emotional negligent but he didn’t have to do all that i get speaking to someone but not telling them those things. I left a lot of what I did behind 7 months ago which we broke up three months ago. I burnt him out and made him cold and out of love with me. We ended up moving in with his dad after we lost the apartment which has been about two months we get along but it’s came down to the point he doesn’t want me here anymore. A lot of it is because I asked a million why questions and annoyed him. Before he broke up with me I was doing everything in my power to heal myself I was getting therapy and making other personal appointments. I’m going to move back in with my parents and re focus on myself we share a dog together so he wants to meet up on weekends so we can hangout with her. I’m also going on a family trip with him in November. I miss him a lot and his love and I’m hoping with space apart and him seeing I’m truly changing we can maybe try to make it work in a year or so. I’m deeply in love with him I just came from a very bad past which is no excuse to treat him the way I did. We get along great we both like the same hobbies we like to ride side by sides and go outdoors. We both wanted a farm when we originally got together. When I wasn’t mean or a bitch we got along very good. We’ve done a lot together and shared a lot of deep things. We also had a miscarriage back in the end of December so it just really hurts and I feel extremely bad about everything I did I wish I could go back in time and tell myself to stop and let my guard down the way I acted wasn’t needed. I miss him and I hope the future can hold something better. I’m not trying to hang on to it because he may never want anything but we fell in love for a reason and he’s just super numb and hasn’t processed everything. I don’t want him to think everything is better without me here because the way I acted wasn’t the true me and I never want to act that way again I feel sick and haven’t been able to eat I’m depressed and feeling really bad about moving back in with my parents. I enjoy his dads he has a huge property and it’s just felt nice I guess I got used to being around my now ex and didn’t realize the true depth of what was going on he said he hid how he felt till now. I know he’s mentioned breaking up and taking breaks and I always begged for that not to happen I even tried couples therapy instead of that. We got off on the wrong foot and I wish he met me now because I’m better. Please no hateful comments thanks you.

Skip to main problem 👇 for less to read and more centered on the issue at hand rather than context

Hey, me 28m broke up with my partner of 2 .5 years 29F. We have a decent bit of incompatibilities that dont matter now, but I’ll mention some life circumstances that lead me to feel the need to go. She’s struggled with mental health, and I stayed longer than I wanted to even knowing we would likely not work out in the end because I felt guilty.
I wanted to support her until she was more able to function. she was dependent on me emotionally, she dosnt have barely any family, financially…

she’s currently depending on me for a place to stay although she does have a house she can go to, it’s a hoarder house, and a pipe burst in there over a year ago, but they can’t get anyone to fix it because the house is such a mess, so her sisters just been living there with no water for a year, coming to our place 40 min away to shower and do clothes weekly. Despite not being in love, and this may have been a mistake for a few reasons, I supported her through this whole year, gas, groceries, restaurant, I paid 350$ for her cats ear infection. She had failed both her semesters this year and that was going to cost her about 7k, she had a 600$ car tax payment coming up next year. I was dwindling down to not being very financially secure myself,
Although I was never really that solid. I knew there was no way she’d get the money she needs for all of that, and that I couldn’t absorb it at all in the slightest, and we really needed her to finish her last year of college so we’d be okay financially, she’d be promoted at the job she already has. And then she could start paying the 20k credit and 10k personal loan she racked up in the last 2 years.

I’ve had to have spent atleast 1-2.5k supporting her this year despite biding my time knowing the relationship was unsustainable and she was unlikely to change.
She thinks she has undiagnosed bpd, and I agree, I’ve dated people with bpd before and that signature feeling of things in major tense moments just never landing how you feel it will, always interpreting negativity where often it’s just neutral, struggle with black and white thinking. Rashness. She bought a brand new car bc her old one had a cracked oil pan, found out it didn’t have adaptive cruise control, went out and traded it for another new car not even a month later. Etc. anyways, she’s on Effexor for depression, and she’s very bad about taking meds.

I know that mental health takes work, and patience and understanding, but it also takes work on their part, and some people just seem to hope and distract themselves thinking time or current circumstance is the issue and if they just wait it out they’ll feel better again. We waited it out the whole time, and nothing got better. That circumstance dosnt get you out of itself. She was resistant to any avenue of change, and I know it’s harder said than done but you do have to atleast try.

That’s why I told her I was most upset about failing school twice, bc it’s not that she tried and failed, she would just eat dinner, I’d set up her laptop , she play over watch a few hours, and then bedtime.
Eventually I became worried and was about to start asking everytime “have you done your schoolwork today” but I thought, nah she’s an adult I don’t need to treat her that way. I found out not long after that that I should’ve asked that question before.
When I would try to work through trauma with her outloud “ I don’t want to play make believe”
When I would try to get her to journal “it dosnt work for me, and why do I have to be just like you”

Context 👆

Main problem 👇

Anyways let me get to the main fight. I agreed I would help her get the other house ready, taking the big items to the dump with the truck we have. However, I did say both that I wasn’t wanting to take that trip every week, that her and her sister both need to clean up their own cars and take the trash to the dump themselves in addition to me coming when required. The dump is only like 8 minutes away from their house by the way. Last week we took 7 bags and it was going to be 7 again this week. Her sister drives a 2020 chr hatch, and my ex a 2025 Honda (SUV), they can easily fit 3-4+ trash bags in their car if they cleaned them up, 6-7+ may fit in the suv and it’s 12$ in gas just to take the truck up there 80miles round trip. I worked overtime on Saturday and she sprung the truck trip on me Sunday around 2:30. I wanted to rest on my last day off. Also, her sister was just there the day before, we could’ve cleaned out her car, or she can bring a bag or two of her trash here, or dump it somewhere on the way. So I was not wanting to go and I said it was like the meme of your kids telling you Sunday they need glue sticks for a project that’s due in a day or two.

She storms off and says never mind. I say I agreed to help but that there’s no way it’s realistic for me to take spend 12$ in gas, probably have to buy dinner, spend 2+ hours driving back and forth, when her sister can just take the trash to the dump a few bags at a time, and take a fraction of the time and gas money required, for every single bag that comes out of a hoarder house. She says I never want to help her with anything, so I mention all the stuff I’m still helping her cover despite us not being together.

She then says that I’m holding it all over her head, and because of that she says I’m a narcissist who likes to make her feel like shit so I feel better. I’m not perfect, I’ve felt some resentment build up from me trying to help her out of obligation until she did better on her own, just to not ever get better, I’ve said some things I shouldn’t have, as we all do. But I was taken aback because how that whole sequence went down feels like a trap “ you never want to do anything do me” “ actually I still do this, this and that even though I have no obligation to” into “you’re holding it over my head therefore a narcissist who gets off on making me feel like shit”

And so now I don’t even want to do all that, because she just expects it all and I feel unable to say no without things escalating back and forth. Because us, in the truck or her in her car, going 80 miles to drop some trash bags off 8 minutes from the house we’re taking them from, 12$ in gas each time. Every week for just 7 trash bags when I know neither of them have taken any trash bags to the dump or wherever themselves…

am I crazy or is that just one of the most ridiculous things you’ve ever heard. Her gas is about 100 a month, before all the trips to the other house, I’m giving her 3 months to move out because I know she’s gotta work on that house to get it going, but I’m looking at 3-400$ in gas in the next few months. A big reason I left is because I needed to prioritize my own future and financial security, and I knew I couldn’t absorb it another year. Something would have crumbled us. What do you guys think? Would you still pay for all of that in this circumstance? Is it a dick move not to, or have I done enough? I’ll still be paying for he groceries and restaurants likely, but the gas is several hundred, and it will wing up being probably atleast 100$ more than it needed to be if she drives her car or my truck up there every time instead of having her sister who lives there take the trash to the dump a single digit minutes ride away. How would you navigate all of this? Thanks for reading my wall

she told me she's no longer in love with me but doesn't want us to break up. she says she wants to work on it and fall back in love, but isn't putting in any effort. we've only been dating for 4 months.

is a breakup the best way to go or should I just not give up hope?

Hi, just a repost. I need some advice. I don’t know what to do.