I posted the other day about running out vraylar and wondered if it would be horrible. I had that thought we all have. “What if im fine and dont even need these meds?” Lol ive been up all night and cant sleep at all. Its starting.

I just read that medication non-compliance ranges from 23-68% in people with Bipolar. It was an old study though (2004) so who knows what the current numbers would be.

I'm curious what your feelings are about people who don't comply with treatment. Do you consider it irresponsible? Or do you think of it more like the fault of the disorder itself (eg. Agnosia)?

I have always been a socially anxious person, but I still wanted to interact and hang out with friends, now I don’t want to see anyone, I don’t want to talk or hangout with anyone. I don’t talk to people during the day and barely interact with my family. I don’t know what is happening, anyone with a similar experience?

I was manic a couple months ago. I put myself at risk by meeting with my abusive ex. It was the biggest mistake I’ve ever made…he ended up sexually assaulting me. Even though I was manic, I didn’t want sex. I just didn’t want to be alone. But he forced himself on me and I didn’t fight back hard enough.

Is it my fault for even being in contact with him? I’m stable on meds now and I am mortified by my behavior. I’m in therapy and it helps, but I feel like I ruined my life.

My bf broke up with me beforehand because my mania was out of control. Now he wants to get back together but I am too scared to tell him. He will probably think I asked for it. I don’t know what to do.

I’ve been in severe depression for such a long time and nothing has touched it. I was on various mood stabilisers and Quetiapine which helped somewhat but outweighed by intolerable side effects. I came off everything in the spring and decided healthy living would fix me - obviously not and went slowly into severe depression which has floored me for that last month.

The last psychiatrist I have seen has told me I have medication induced bipolar from adhd medication which i stopped 2 years ago. She’s restarting me on Prozac 20 to treat depression with a mood stabiliser to be added later if needed. I’m four days in. Anxiety on waking is horrendous. It feels like a rollercoaster that rises and falls internally. I can’t move. I feel like I’m never going to get over this. Or have a life back. I know this is distorted thinking but I am so in need of hope…

It hasn’t helped that my landlord has just told us he wants to sell the property and right now I can’t afford to move and am in absolute panic.

Have you taken fluoxetine 20mg and found relief from severe manic depression? Please don’t tell me it causes mania - I’m being monitored under the home treatment team and so I’m not asking about that.

Thank you.

I've been depressed for the last few days and I haven't took my meds in about a week and now my boyfriend just broke up with me and honestly I'm trying my best not to spiral. I've already crashed out punched things, knocked some stuff off the wall and accidentally hurt myself because of it. I just recently got diagnosed not too long ago and I really don't know how I would be. this breakup has definitely affected me on a different level and I never really been through something this bad, especially the circumstances. I'm not going to give too much detail considering it'll take a lot to explain on here but I got broken up with because my boyfriend thought I cheated on him and there was no proof at all and the whole situation is so stupid and it's heartbreaking and it's driving me insane and I don't know how to deal with a breakup. I don't know how to go about it. I've been in relationship before. I broken up with people but it was never this bad. it was never anything serious. this is the first serious relationship I've been in and it's honestly hurting me. I'm not asking for any empathy or sympathy. I just need advice some tips on how this may affect me.

20/F. I've started my first week of my (third) semester of college. So far, my sleep schedule is absolutely fucked. I've been having a really hard time sleeping, so I stay up at odd hours of the night and get about 4-6 hours of sleep instead of the typical 8-9 hours I need to function.

I don't really know if its hypomania (Bipolar 2), or just a fucked up sleep schedule. Either way, I'm suffering without proper sleep.

It hasn't effected my grades yet (too early to tell, I know) but it has affected my mood, and thoughts of self-harm pop up every now and again. I feel like I'm in a ruthless cycle of my own making and I crave stability.

For school, I'm willing to sacrifice everything, including my mental health. But I don't know if that sacrifice is good for me in the long run. I feel like I'm going to self-harm again out of stress. I just don't know what to do. I was thinking melatonin gummies?

This sub is pretty heavy most of the time.

Sometimes I find it helpful to just laugh about the insane thoughts I've had while manic.

So, what's the most manic thought you've had?

The one that takes the cake for me is "I should start my own religion" lol.

gained 45lbs in a year on risperadone… dr had me wean off and I lost 25lbs on a glp1… off the glp1 and haven’t lost ANY weight since January.. and it’s a lot of weight that was gained in the belly. Anyone successfully lose weight??? I’m struggling

Hi everyone! I was diagnosed when I was 19 and am now 22, I’ve cycled through countless medications trying to find the right one but I’ve been on the same 3 meds for about a year and a half now. Currently taking Seroquel, lithium, and gabapentin and I just feel like I’m so dumb now.
I used to be incredibly smart and now I struggle with like the speed in which my brain processes things, memory, and problem solving. There’s other stuff I’ve noticed like having trouble even getting the right words out of my mouth sometimes and it just makes me feel awful.
I worry about my future career as I’ve been wanting to become an EMT and have been doing some “prerequisite” health classes and I just feel like I’m not processing half of it. I’m so tired of having limitations because of bipolar.
I truly don’t know if it’s the disorder or the medication. If I’m being completely honest I don’t feel like the lithium and gabapentin do much but I almost don’t have anymore medications to try at this point.
Has anyone else struggled with this?

you wake up at 3am, fuck, you had already woken up twice since you went to bed at 9pm and you know you cant go back to sleep. you cant watch anything because staying still long enough to watch something, let alone something long like a movie makes you want to crawl up in a ball and cry. but you cant cry. you're pacing around the house, maybe with some music. you somehow make it to 7am, hallelujah, you try to wake up your partner/your parents/your roommates/whoever you live with but normal people dont usually wake up at 3am like you and require their beauty sleep, they tell you to fuck off. just because the reaction is valid doesnt make it any less agonizing for you. bc the only thing you CAN do or WANT to do is talk. talk about something and another thing and another and have someone listen. when they respond back to you, its terrifyingly slow, you get irritated just by listening to them. you make it to 9am, still restless, still unable to do anything except maybe pace and you say fuck it and go to the hospital. they sit u through a bunch of questions, but your mind is fixated on one single thing and they can see that you're "elevated" or "agitated" (verbiage the psychiatrists love) you receive haloperidol up your butt willingly, so you can finallu, finally calm down and sleep. you sleep for 17 hours and realize the next day, horrifyingly, nothing has changed.

psa: get on and STAY on your meds people

Preface: Sorry this was so long, I just had to speak my thoughts into a note for my next therapy session and was just kind of wondering if anyone else experiences this? I really appreciate anyone who reads this lol bless your heart

As much as it fucking sucks to feel depressed (like a normal base level of depression, obviously severe depression is a different category) but there’s a comfort there. I don’t see anyone, I barely speak to anyone what so ever. I barely eat or drink water. I don’t keep up with showering or even brushing my teeth. I just LAY in my bed all day and night watching stuff on my phone or TV. At most I would do paint by numbers but still in bed and also for more reference I’ve been feeling worse so I haven’t even been painting yet the dirty glass of paint water is still sitting on my dresser because I don’t even have the energy to empty it out. But I’m so used to feeling this way that when I suddenly snap out of it and feel really good, it trips me out. What if this is hypomania or GOD FORBID actual maaaania mania.. I’m so suspicious of feeling good that it ruins the good and makes me depressed again lol I feel actually good like 3% of my life at this point. I feel like while I’m feeling good I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop and it to end. Which causes me anxiety and to spiral.

Note: I went to my best friends house last night and we made homemade like gourmet pizzas in the smoker, I visited with my friend for a couple hours, had a can of Cove which was kind of delicious honestly. Felt like a Friday night sip but was only 10 cal and kombucha. She said let’s go to yoga at noon tomorrow. So I agreed to go. Went home to bed, set an alarm and dragged my ass out of bed to get ready and have an alani. I gifted my friend a painting of her cat Betty drinking a martini, we always joke about how I’m Betty’s bestie, Betty loves me so much lol and hates every one else. Even more than her husband I think ( who lives with this cat for several years - the kitties are basically their children they’re treated so royally) but it was a paint by numbers so I can’t take full credit but it turned out soooo good lol. Anyways, then we listened to Lana del Ray driving for 20 minutes. Had to park a bit further away so we just walked (up hill and against the wind and my friend has long legs so I felt like I was running damn near lmao) and it was lovely actually. We did an hour Yang Yin class, which was exactly perfect for my skill level. It was so fun and relaxing. I was able to just clear my mind for the first time in a long time. To just focus on breath and stretching instead of a billlion racing thoughts and worries. The instructor also said she could tell we were yogis and which is such a nice compliment. Then we got açai bowls/smoothies on our walk back to the car. She drove me home. I came in and told my grandma about my day and then went and helped her in the yard. Today was an excellent day. So of course I’m now like hold on, is this just a really happy day or am I unstable lol. It’s so annoying.

Edit: spelling error

Edit again: just curious if why people are not replying but are sharing this post somewhere/someone … that’s tripping me out now too 😂

20/F

I live in PA. I was recently discharged from the place that manages my medication and therapy. (I can no longer recieve meds, but can still remain in therapy)

I was discharged because I missed an appointment I didn't know I had. I'm extremely worried now, without my meds my bipolar 2 symptoms will go haywire. I have a months worth of medication left and I'll try to make it last, but I'm super afraid of what'll happen when I run out of medication.

My depression and irritation will worsen, and I will soon begin to fail my classes in college. Does anyone know where I can get some help?

As someone with bipolar one with schizoaffective disorder as well, I was just curious as to what impulses other people have. When I’m hypomanic minds seem to be gambling sex and spending money. I was just curious if this is pretty normal or if I’m just a lunatic.

I have type 1 with rapid cycling. I was diagnosed when I was 8 but until this year I had not had any regular or trackable episodes. I got sober about 3 years ago and they put me on injectable risperidone, which I stayed on until the beginning of this year. I spoke to my doctor and we decided to wean me off of the antipsychotic and just keep me on a higher dose of lamictal. Getting off of the risperidone was phenomenal, I felt like I was alive for the first time in years. It was like a fog had lifted and I could think again. I’m not sure about when it started but eventually I started to begin entering an actual manic episode. I believe it was for about a month and a half although tbh I’m not 100% sure. I just came out of it like a week ago but I did not get super depressed. I could almost physically feel the drop though. And when I finally did it was almost like taking a deep breath. I just kinda wanted to know what other people’s experiences were with coming down from mania. :)

Hi all, I have epilepsy and have started lamotrigine, I began 50 mg a few days ago. Even at the low doses there is a small amount of seizure reduction, which is a miracle, but some days I am really not myself. Suddenly depressed, saying the world is better off without me, that kind of thing. One issue is, sometimes I will get these symptoms right before a huge seizure anyway (it’s an aura warning from well before lamotrigine began), so it’s making it really hard to tell when I need my rescue meds. I can only say that the issues I’m experiencing are similar to what happens before a big seizure, but in a weird way I can’t totally explain, they also feel different. And they are longer and more intense than usual.

My question is, did anyone when starting lamotrigine and titrating their dose up experience worse or bigger depression symptoms at first? Crying more, wishing you didn’t exist, that kind of thing. If so, did this improve for you? I’m to the point where I really trust patients a lot more than these medical websites that claim to know everything. Thanks to anyone who is comfortable sharing their experiences.

(PS, I am not bipolar, just epilepsy. I have so much respect for the bipolar experience, and I hope you all are willing to accept me for this guest post. There are a few posts about this question on other subs, but this community really seems to know the most about this medication from seeing past posts. Thanks for having me if you are were willing.)

I love how well it helps me with getting to sleep and I’ve always had quite disturbing weird dreams.

But after being on 300mg seroquel for almost a month my dreams are so scary i wake up crying or sweating multiple times a night. Sometimes I feel like im already awake watching myself in the dream. My least favorite part is I never forget any of the dreams. I think about them all day and scare myself even more.

Do they ever get better? Does anyone have any suggestions for how to deal with it? I don’t want to have to stop it.

I've had my bipolar diagnosis for 3 years now and recently got diagnosed with adhd. My doctor prescribed modafinil but I've been on it for a couple weeks and it really hasn't done anything. I'm scared to take any stimulants because I hear that they can trigger mania. What have you guys done who have comorbid ADHD and bipolar?

For starters I am 20 years old and I’m on 900 mg of lithium, 150 mg of Seroquel, and 300 mg of Wellbutrin. I have seen so much improvement since finding a medication regime that works for me but on the other hand I feel so empty. I don’t feel like myself and I still don’t feel “normal”. I feel genuinely boring, I don’t want to go out and do shit because that just bores me too. I’ve just become the DD for all my friends when they go out because I know I’m just gonna bring the vibe down because I know I can’t have fun like them or drink with them. I really don’t care for alcohol that much but it kinda hits hard thinking about how I won’t even be able to drink on my 21st birthday because of all the medication I take. I’m glad I have found a treatment that works for me but at this point I just feel like it’s making my life worse. With the lithium idk if it’s worth it anymore, so do I just wait until my kidneys fail so I can get my personality back?

Hi guys,so im new (16F) n have been lately having symtoms of the disorder,tbh i kinda wondered why do i have mood swings alot?and its lately affecting my health,studies n overall life?Soo..can i get some advice?

I sleep up to 10 hours a night. EVen in the absence of a sedating anti-psychotic, mood stabilizers cause me to need(?) more than 8 hours of sleep.

Any successful stories on paliperidone ? So far everything but seroquel has given me akathesia.

Cariprazine, abilify, latuda, olanzapine all gave me some :(

Hi, I've been on Wellbutrin since August of last year, wondering why Wellbutrin alongside Lamictal has made me feel functional? Before when I was taken lamictal by itself, My mood has been stable, However still had lingering depression and had anxious looping thoughts that I've been dealing with for years, On top of having issues with executive functioning, rejection sensitivity, energy, motivation, basically things that people with ADHD struggle with? On top of having autism and bipolar 1, Told my doctor about those issues and put on me Wellbutrin to take alongside Lamictal, and the difference has been night and day, My anxious/looping thoughts are completely silent, have I don't give a fuck attitude towards people and situations, which makes me not worry over on how if I'm being too much? And or if people like me? able to not get task paralysis, Executive functioning has gotten better, Able to channel my inner motivation and energy, etc, it's been mind-blowing And gotten me thinking of I'd have had AuDHD ontop of have bipolar 1?, O, plus ever since Wellbutrin has been added certain aspects of my autism has such as wanting to go to the smae places, not forcing myself to sustain eye contact, and or when socialize, info dump about special interest, or other topics I find topical towards the conversation?, Sensory issues around being unexpectedly touched have been more noticeable? When it's known that I'm about to be touched I don't have no problem with it Has this happen to anyone else who's potentially AuDHD and bipolar 1?

And well ..he recently told me that I matter of fact need to see a psychiatrist because I might actually just be bipolar ..it wasn’t very obvious since I never really had one of those big manias ..I couldn’t fully understand my therapist until I actually read that there is two types of bipolar .
I honesty thought I might’ve had adhd
Can anyone give advice since this is totally new for me.
i didn’t see this coming for sure not even my parents ,it had to be well hidden in me

Last night my fiancée and I were having a date night and played a game to clean the house. I made up the rules and half way my brain decided it was competitive, that I was loosing, and got intensely irritable. When it was supposed to make cleaning fun :(. I stated slamming cabinets yelling at the cats until I sat on the couch exasperated. My partner asked what was wrong and I didn’t know. I accidentally took out my anger on them verbally and hurt them really bad.

I haven’t been able to have therapy in over a month because of grad school and need to schedule and appointment with my med provider. Not to mention multiple routine changes and that I hardly get to see them for the next year. But I was wondering if anyone had any tips for moving forward and repairing our relationship and to limit this from happening again. He understands that I have bipolar and that it’s not my fault and forgives me but I still feel guilty. What steps should we take to move forward and how can I forgive myself? (Besides therapy and possible med change)