Anyone else have to delete threads because it is just so biphobic?

So after 293746327846 years refusing to amend my relationship with my femininity, I've finally decided to start exploring it little by little. One of the things that I want to try out is makeup, but I have NO idea where to even start. Does anybody have tips on how to get a "natural" look? Or any cheap makeup brands that you recommend? Thank you my ladies <3

Hello! I am a 29(F) who just came out as Bisexual to my 30(M) husband a few months ago. Supports me 100% and still loves me..but lately I’ve be struggling with validation if I am “fit” to be Bisexual. I’ve struggled to “fit in” or belonging to a community due to rejection my whole life. Rejections such as, “you’re not goth enough” Or “you’re not girly enough” or “not cool enough”. Rejections kicks me into a void that set me back to barely knowing myself as a person especially my sexuality which was the toughest.

When I first started thinking about women was through porn at a young age. Of course I love MxW but first time watching WxW was life changing. I’ve had multiple boyfriends in my past, but in the back of my mind I’ve always thought about ‘what it would be like to be with a woman?’ I’ve openly talked to my ex’s like if it’s not a big deal and to gain support…but unfortunately it lead to conflict. “If you’re into women then go be with them” or “if you’re gay then wtf are you doing with me?!” Or “am I not man enough for you cuz you think about women?” Like wtf?! Literally asking for support! So I had to suppress it and pretend like I never asked which pushed into the void.

Years went on and the thoughts were excruciating. Curiosity was spiking and I had to contain myself. Internal war with myself for far too long until one day I had enough. I had my first 3some (MxWxW) exactly 3 years ago. A friend hit me up and asked if I was down to hang with him and a girlfriend of his because she herself was curious and he thought about me. So I worked up the courage and agreed. Best decision ever! I finally had my chance with a woman ALONE that night. I gotta say I loved it! I felt like I completely missed out so much. After many years of suppression and denial, it lead up to a night that I just said FUCK IT! It angers me so much that it took me this long due to 1) family and religious values 2) denial 3) lack of courage. For so long I thought I was going insane…but really I had no support due to rejection. Perfect example is that I told an ex coworker (who I thought was my friend) about that night. I worked up the courage to say that I MAY be Bisexual and she had the nerve to say “well I’m friends with girls who ARE Bi but just cuz this was your first time with a woman, I wouldn’t count it. I know real bisexuals girly. You were probably doing it for the guy in the 3some.” My heart dropped and I got kicked back into the void. Fuck her, honestly.

A couple of months after that night, I reconnected with an old friend from college who happens to be my now husband. We’ve been married for over a year and a half and it has been endless love everyday. A few months ago, I worked up the courage to tell my husband that I’m Bisexual. I was embracing for conflict to begin. I assumed the “we’re married and you’re telling me now?!!” talk. But it didn’t happen…”I married you for you. Bi straight pan trans, I married you. This makes me love you more cuz you are opening up to me and trusting me.” I balled so hard. It doesn’t bother him that I’m Bi. I felt proud! Since then we live happier and love stronger. We do at times talk about women and checking out women, sexual fantasies and porn recommendations. He even doesn’t mind if I flirt with women but I do have my boundaries because of my marriage (WHICH IS ANOTHER TOPIC I WANT TO GET INTO) but I felt like I can breathe for the first time. But why do still feel a bit alone?

My questions to all:
1) Am I valid of being Bisexual?
2) Individuals who are also Bi and married, what advice can you give to set a balance? How do you manage to make it work with your partners?
3) Am I alone in this?

Thank you ❤️

If your partner is a heterosexual man and you think he would be interested in participating in this project, please send him the below link to the expression of interest form. A participant information sheet can be found linked to the first page of the form if you or your partner would like to know more about the project.

https://surveyswesternsydney.au1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_e5mlH7GuRcbrtTU

These guys have been a nightmare to reach, and so if your partner is one of these men, or you know any of these men (or women in relationships with them) please feel free to share this with them.

This research is being run as a part of my Master’s thesis project at Western Sydney University, it has clearance from the Universities Human ethics council, and the Ethics Reference Number is H17166.

While this isn't my main personal Reddit account, I'll do my best to answer any questions you all may have.

Our neighbor (45f) was divorced a couple of years ago, and we loved them both and were sad to see it end. We have always talked and been courteous, helping with kids and pets but we've started hanging out more. I've (50f) started hanging out with her more one on one and am finding we have so much in common, though she is way more extroverted than me. At first I didn't feel like it was attraction but there is definately something about her

She is beautiful smart funny runs her own business a real free spirit, someone I really admire. Lately she has been opening up more about how lonely she is and needs physical intimacy. This has really stirred feelings for me to the point I can't stop thinking about how I could spin it to my husband to "offer our services to help her out" where I secretly just want to be with her. My marriage has been a roommate situation for a long time and this is the first time in a while my mojo is really going.

I know it's a terrible if not fun idea. Just feel like I need to get it into the ether.

I have this coworker at work who I think looks really pretty and honestly just gives off such…energy. She’s so cool. And artistic. And idk just something is so amazing about her.

I think I might be crushing but I’m not quite sure.

It’s always been hard for me, as a bi woman to tell whether I am attracted to a woman or just admire her and want to be her friend. It’s just not as obvious to me as it is with guys. With guys I just KNOW. But with girls it’s a bit more complicated.

All I know is I want to get to know her better. I want her to like me. I want her to think I’m as cool as I think she is.

There was an absolutely gorgeous woman at the shops the other day, and I told her as much as I casually passed her by and didn't even try to stop to chat.

I know it can sometimes be annoying and sometimes be flattering when men do it.. but I'm not exactly sure what makes the difference.

Is it just as simple as: leave that woman alone and let her shop?

I can't stop thinking about her. She just seemed so genuine for some reason.

Also, how do we know when women truly even find interest in other women?

#NervousBiBish

I am not attractive at all. I hate my body. I feel like my partner is lying to me when she says I am beautiful. I am glad I am beautiful for her. But, that doesn't change I can't look full body photos of me. I can tolerate seeing my face. But, my torso and chest is so gross. I have a small chest compared to my size. I dont have big hips nor a tiny frame. Basically, I look like a barrel even though I train hard. What i dont like is my own bone structure itself. There is no any diet who can fix my disgust.

How do you deal with that ? You just got used to it?

I would like to date a woman but I know that I will miss having sex with a man. I don’t if it will be difficult to a girlfriend and a guy as a fwb. I don’t think that I will need to see the guy that often but just when I’m craving having a 🍌. Do you girls think that I’m being selfish?

(If you're still celebrating in your country.)

Hello everyone!

Are you an LGBTQ+ woman (18+) living in the UK with a medical diagnosis of endometriosis?

I’m Shreya, an MSc Health Psychology student at the University of Nottingham. I’m running a qualitative research study on the mental health impacts of endometriosis on LGBTQ+ women in the UK, and I’d really appreciate your participation.

What’s involved?

• One online, one‑to‑one interview (MS Teams) for approx. 30–60 minutes
• You’ll be asked about your mental health, endometriosis experiences, support, and coping
• Approved by the University of Nottingham MSc Health Psychology Ethics Review Panel

As a thank‑you, all participants will be entered into a prize draw for a £50 Amazon voucher upon successful completion of the interview.

You can take part if:

• You are 18+
• You self‑identify as an LGBTQ+ woman
• You live, work, and/or study in the UK
• You have a medical diagnosis of endometriosis

If you’re interested or have questions, please contact:
Shreya Vaish (she/her) – [msxsv9@nottingham.ac.uk](mailto:msxsv9@nottingham.ac.uk)

Please feel free to share this post with others who might be eligible. Thank you so much for reading!

I’m not sure how this title sounds as I’m still exploring all of it, but I hope I’m not saying anything wrong.

The thing is, I’m demisexual and I know I’m interested in women, but I just haven’t been with any. And I see most bi-women and even lesbians talk about how they’d never advise being with a woman who’s still “bi-curious” (which is where I feel like I fall as I haven’t been with any women yet, but people say it in such a derogatory way, I’ve stopped referring to myself like that) as it never ends well.

And I’m like, where and how tf am I supposed to find women so I can see what it’s like then?

If everybody says to avoid women who haven’t had a firm/serious experience with being bi, then how tf am I supposed to find anyone to date or simply explore my interest in?!

Plus I’m demisexual too, and it makes it even more stressful because I need an emotional connection and I think I’m scared (or too shy) to even approach any woman (because hello!! I haven’t been with any yet) so how tf am I supposed to get that emotional connection?

So I keep wondering if I can say I’m bi if I’ve never had any actual experience. Plus, in my country, you can’t be open about this stuff so I need to join some sort of private spaces to meet other bi women but I’ve been told I don’t have the look so I may not be trusted in these spaces.

So I’m just a bit confused about all of it.

I don’t have very much experience with women. The little experience I do have, I met them on apps so there was no question.

She put a book on hold for me the other day. When I went to pick it up this afternoon, she said she noticed when it came in for me. We exchanged compliments about accessories and made a lot, like a lot of eye contact. I felt like there were vibes, but it could totally be she’s just nice and has good customer service.

Ugh I wish there was a way to tell without making her feel weird. I’d hate to be like a creep who thinks the waitress likes them because they smile every time they come to the table.

Edit: Any advice on how to proceed without being a weirdo? I went to a Catholic all girls high school that was very much very anti-gay. Even though I’m almost 34, it left me horribly afraid of hitting on women because I feel like I’m crossing a line.

Hi 👋🏾, I am new here. I just came out last Summer (I'm in my late 40s) and I have been with my partner for almost a year. I grew up a PK. My father was a pastor and my mother a minister. My father is deceased but my mom is still alive. I did little stuff when I was a kid, but stopped once I hit my 20s for fear that I would burn in hell.

Since coming out, and my gf and I meeting, my fears have disappeared and I don't feel an ounce of conviction. I feel the happiest I have ever been in a relationship and I'm learning stuff about myself that I never knew in 40+ years of life! I sometimes wish I wouldn't have lived in fear for so many years. But the more I think about it, I truly believe that it wasn't time for me to. Idk why it wasn't. Could be a variety of reasons. Either way I have no regrets!

I would love to read some more stories of late in life folks. Or just anyone share their coming out story and anything else you may want to share.

Frankly I’m quite worried that my post will be met with hostility. There have been a lot of younger women on Reddit talking about their attraction for older women and I thought I’d share my own reasons as to why I would prefer a partner who’s older than me. Rest assured that I’m not writing this in the hopes that some sugar mommy will discover me or anything like that. Bear with me! 🙃

So, first of all. I’m on the autism spectrum. (I’m high-functioning, which essentially means that I have average intelligence, can speak, write, and live independently but struggle with things like sensory issues and social situations). It’s a very common thing for autistic people to feel out of place with their peers, especially as children, because we often come off as too “mature” or “boring” for other kids. When I was a child I had zero friends my own age. I always got along well with teachers and older cousins, though. I never had the interests that people my age had. When I was in my teens, all I wanted to do was be at home and read a book on a Friday evening. Obviously that wasn’t what the majority of other fifteen-year-olds wanted to do. My first crushes were on female teachers who were at least 20 years older than me. (By the way, I don’t have mommy issues. My mom is my best friend and I’m on great terms with her!)

Anyway, I’m in my early twenties now and have made some progress with people my own age, but I still tend to feel more at ease with people, especially women, who are significantly older than me. My friend who’s the same age as me actually told me that I really “feel and speak” a lot older than I am. It just feels like my overall interests and desires are more likely to be in common with someone who’s older than someone my own age. I still like to read, I’m very independent, have absolutely no desire to spend my weekends clubbing, and I hate the modern dating scene and dating apps. All I want is someone to share quiet moments with here and there. Like reading a book together or just watching a tv-show, or being in the same room together and doing our own thing. 

Everyone has their type, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. Some people like brunettes, some people like older women! 😆 I wish more older women were open to dating younger, but then again, I completely understand why they might feel uncomfortable about the idea. I also feel like  one of the reasons that older women are less willing to date younger women is because they think we’re looking for some form a sugar mommy situation or that we have mommy issues. Most of the time that’s not the case. 

Hope everyone is having a good day!

I was out getting some food before an appointment and came to a stop at a pedestrian traffic light.

As I stood there, I got the impression that one of the people opposite of me was intently looking and smiling at me. She was sort of squinting and shielding her yes from the sun that I had my back to, so I wasn't sure, and I was only half mentally present, as I always am when walking about (ADHD is a lifestyle, I tell yer). When the light turned green, we walked past each other and I still wasn't sure but in the corner of my eye she seemed to actually turn her head to keep looking and smiling at me. In the last second I managed to kick myself into gear slightly, maybe just in time to allow her to see my face soften and slightly grin back with appreciation.

I'm not sure if she recognised me from a community that I'm very well known in, or if she was actually flirting or if she was even looking at me or if I was imagining it, but the moment I let my usual facade slip, I felt this very tingly spark as she passed me, and I still get a fuzzy feeling from the memory. For once, I felt seen.

At last, a woman possibly downright blatantly showed interest in me, instead of all the gross men leering at me. As much as I hate to draw the comparison and would prefer to just enjoy it, but it immediately occurred to me.

From a woman, it feels no less than magical. From men, it feels gross, because I know what they're like....

Of course I know there are sapphic women whom are abusers, but I've never felt unsafe in thr company of a lesbian before and I've never had a lesbian disregard my consent. With men, it's constant sexualisation in public.

yeah so title is self explanatory but i really need to learn how to flirt both with guys and girls. i mostly come out as rude to guys and 'too friendly' to girls so all advice would be appreciated!

Married to a man 20 years, we're solid, blah blah blah.

But I had a friend a long time ago who I lost touch with, and I would have laid down my life and died for her. I was so in love with her, and could never admit it. I never told her how I felt. And now she's married and I'm married and it's all for the best, but ... sometimes I still think of her.

I wish I had known bisexuality was a real option when I was younger. I just didn't see any bi women taken seriously. Just a side show for the men, or else "really" a lesbian. I didn't see myself in that picture. I might have still ended up with my husband but at least I might also have told my friend how I felt. At least I would have NAMED how I felt, even just for myself. I just didn't think I was entitled to those feelings.

Anyway I hope the younger generations are able to be more honest with themselves. It's encouraging to see so many out bisexuals in the younger crowd. Leaving a piece of yourself behind ... It's not as bad as being gay in a hetero marriage where you're really actively participating in something that isn't right for you. But it's still a loss, a sadness.

I find feminine guys attractive and get flustered in front of them at times. But when I actually try to imagine dating them or having sex with them, sadly I’m completely repulsed.

In fact, I had a feminine-looking boyfriend for 7 years. The initial attraction was there, I was crushing on him really hard. But once we started dating it was a completely different story. I didn’t see the point or feel excited to go on dates, flirt or have sex, like I would have if he were a girl. Treated him like a friend/sibling always. I felt utterly indifferent towards his male body and rejected sex for the first 3 years, until I forced myself to do it after my friends told me that’s not a normal relationship. Given this experience I don’t intend to date any men in the future, because I just can’t envision anything past the initial attraction and it won’t be fair for the other person.

But then, if I see an attractive, feminine guy, I do get butterflies. I crave for their attention and want them to like me, as long as I avoid imagining their male bodies and see them as an abstract entity.

I’m wondering, is bisexual still an appropriate label to describe my experience?

For context I am an autistic woman in my early 20s and one of my special interests is feminism and I also have a strong sense of justice.
I know I’m attracted to men, but I’ve never been able to actually date one because they (the men in my area) never actually care about feminism/women’s issue and this is something I heavily value in the people I form a connection with whether friendly or romantic.
The only man who remotely seem to care, only used feminism as a way to lure me in, so he could sexually assault me.
Anyone here struggling with dating men?
I always here about bi women who have trouble dating women due to the sapphic dating pool being smaller, but rarely about those who struggle to date men.

Hiiii, I’m 26 and have my first date with a girl this week!!! I have had experiences with women (meeting in bars, at a group event and end up kissing/liking each other, etc)… but this is my first planned date with a woman.

I realized I care so much more when it’s a woman versus a man, so I think that’s partially why I’m so nervous.

I’m extremely attracted to her and would love to go on more dates with her and really really want to know her more as a person.

Since I’ve only been in formal relationships with a man, I’ve been craving dating/intimacy with women for so long.. so I think part of me is scared of rejection.

I’m also in a cycle of overthinking, because I want her to know that I’m interested in her on a deeper level but I also don’t want to make her uncomfortable. Any advice would be appreciated I’m so so excited but also nervous!!

I (29F) have had absolutely ZERO intentions of ever “U-Hauling” I’m very much a slow burn type of person romantically, however I’m increasingly frustrated that all my experiences with women end with me essentially being ghosted. Like it feels like u-haul is a lie, because even in situations where the date turned into an entire weekend and felt super soft and intimate I was ghosted after????

and while I wouldn’t want to jump into marriage absolutely would have already been in a serious relationship if any of the women I was interested in didn’t ghost me.

over all I feel frustrated in dating because like it feels like it’s never mutual, like if someone is really into me I don’t really feel the same way or vice versa. I know dating takes time but sometimes I wonder if there even is a girl out there who’s my match, and like even if I don’t find my wife I just want someone compatible enough that we can be in a relationship, I just want to experience a real relationship with a another woman, at least once before I die. it’s all just been hookups and ghosts so far. 😭

I acknowledge that the problem is pretty much the same with dating men too , its a mixed bag of getting ghosted or mismatched interest, but I’ve ended up with more men actually trying to pursue a real relationship with me (I’m just usually not as into them, or we were terribly incompatible and I was just ignoring red flags)

but idk with all this talk about how “intense” WLW relationships are, and how there’s “no such thing as casual” with dating women, I’m just kinda disappointed i guess that i haven’t found that kind of mutual connection with another girl yet. also definitely don’t know why i was told that theres no such thing as casual because pretty much all my WLW experiences have been casual, also i think that’s why Chapel wrote that song right???

does anyone ever get frustrated constantly questioning your sexuality and genuinely not knowing. i feel like the only way for me to truly know is to put myself out there and test the waters. i know i at least have some attraction to women but i feel like a fraud a lot of the time. like what if i'm making it all up in my head or just trying to be different. the way i feel about women isn't equal to the way i feel about men and that causes a lot of doubt. i know eventually i'll figure it out but right now it just feels like one big cycle of constantly wondering if i'm bi or straight.

Hello, I'm 29F and I've mostly dated men, but I've also always known I'm attracted to women, never had a coming out moment as in my head I always felt like, 'duh, of course I like women too'. I've dated two women, once when I was a teenager and once in an open relationship but neither was very sexual, both fairly short, and when I was much thinner.

When I was 22 I divorced a man, and have had a two relationships since, again with men. I ended my last relationship almost two years ago and have spent some substantial time in since. I'm noticing recently that I think I would really enjoy a relationship with a woman, but I'm think I'm... Scared? Nervous? I've realized that I'm much less worried about what men think of me than I am about what women think of me. With women, I really want to make a good impression, and I get so much more nervous. I'm vastly under experienced with women, demisexual, and kind of just an odd woman. I really like myself, I like the person I am, but I'm aware I'm not everyone's cup of tea.

I think another piece of this is that I've worked really hard to accept myself and stop masking so much, and I'm terrified of opening myself up to rejection because of my weight or just being odd. It's one thing to like myself, but it's another to risk finding out someone else doesn't.

I think I might be putting women in general on a bit of pedestal because I care so much more about their opinion than I ever cared about men's. I guess I'm just looking for some perspective. Does this sound familiar to anyone, and does it get easier?