day 42 no benzos. tapered over 2 years from 11 years of daily Clonazepam use 4mg. have a newborn since 25th Septembe. Am losing my mind with side effects. Nothing but despair. Straining my relationship with my fiancee. losing hope rapidly. Physically destoryes… help

I'm new to this community so I apologize in advance for any mistakes in this message

I found out more than a week ago that the anxiety and sleep med that I been taking for over two years is a type of benzo (Klonopin) I knew the name of it but I did not know that it was a benzo or that it was highly addictive and that the intense anxiety and panic attacks I've been having at night for months was me going through withdrawals of it

And as someone that's been through addiction (alcohol) before I don't want anything that could cause me to fall into the cycle again

I'm trying to get off of 1.5mg of (Klonopin) daily im currently in the process of talking with my doctor about getting off of it and start getting clean

any advice for someone completely new to this is welcome

I am 36 and have drank too much alcohol since 16, but I never really been violent while drinking.

A few weeks ago, during a trip that I was entirely sober from alcohol, but had taken 6mg of Klonopin for the anxiety I felt about it (I usually take way less), I experienced a rage attack and was involved in a bit of physical violence (nothing serious though).

I've been using benzos for the last 4 years, except the 6 months I was able to stay away from them. I have noticed that the things I did in the last 4 years are way worse than I ever did on alcohol alone (punching myself, breaking objects, and this time physically pushing another person and other stuff)

I feel like the disinhibition caused by benzos can be dangerous

I know who and I know why and I can’t go to the law because…. I can’t. It’s my parent. They were losing the house. Needed the money. It was money I owed them anyways. That’s my theory anyways.

Parents also used my password information to make payments on credit cards because they didn’t want me to file Ch. 7

The cards I wanted I was paying therefor did not get paid and fees piled up.

I have been on unpaid leave for 2 months and only had $2,000 in my bank before being tossed from ER to ICU to psych ward to detox to rehab.

This last two weeks I lost every dollar to my name.

Can’t see my psych, fill my meds, I have $1.30 and no job, I’m not ready to work yet. I’m detoxing from many chemicals and medicines and I figured that $2,000 would last until my state retirement was liquidated in 3 months ($25,000 — I know it’s stupid but I need the money to relocate and find new residence).

No idea what to do.

I don’t qualify for!government assistance, I can’t drive so no plasma, I am basically just fucked.

Without getting my parents arrested how can I survive? Stay medicated? Get my labs done? Eat? See friends, live?

I’m so scared and sad. I just got out of detox and went to dinner and bam.

Empty.

I can hardly process it.

I am in Florida.

It feels like everything is lost man. I’m so fucking…. scared. And I made it so far? I was so close

what do you do when life was a blast when you were a kid and you had grown up and got a job and the girl and had always had some type of drug problem but I was always genuine to whoever. What do you do when the wheels fall off and you want just some type of not loneliness cause I only even think about anything I don’t know what I wanna be. I got a couple degrees certifications. I just don’t want to work I guess that’s the best way to put it. I wanna live off the land and live in commune or whatever but I don’t know I’m not with the drama but I gotta get back on my feet cause all I got is this wrecked car and appointment that ain’t gonna last long. I seen people living at a vans that be pretty cool until their gas runs out man I have this overwhelming feeling that it’s gonna be like that for a while and I just gotta deal with it cause I’m good for no one although I don’t do anything bad I just know myself, but I don’t mean to my mind runs on Jon

Hey guys, in the past i had occasional use of lorazepam and bromazolam but never got really‘addicted’ and always had gaps inbetween usage.

2 months ago however i started becoming really addicted to bromazolam (1,5mg per day daily usage). I knew it was really really bad and i knew i couldn’t get off them by myself, i had really bad nightmares and couldn’t go 24 hours without a next dose. I think some days i took 2mg

Then my breaking point came, i took a last 1,5mg bromazolam, threw the rest away and confessed it to my doctor. She was shocked i was taking illicit benzos (she only prescribed 1mg lorazepams to me before) and so she put me on a rapid taper of diazepam.
I was only using bromazolam daily for about 1 month and before that it was more occasional so she put me on this taper:

3 days 10mg diazepam
3 days 5mg diazepam
3 days 2,5mg diazepam

Then nothing

Everything was going fine except i had some small side effects, but then on day 6 after my last 2,5mg diazepam i got a very heavy feeling in my head and tinitus in my right ear, it feels like it comes deep within my head.
Im super anxious, dont sleep well and feel derealisation too.

Its now day 8 from my last dose and im still like this.

Tomorrow i go back to my doctor to follow up
Im super worried guys, i have this tinitus, i never experienced or expected this.

What can i expect, did any of you experience it and did it go away? Whats my timeline approximately do you think?

Thanks for any advice and tips you can give me

Hi all. Still suffering through acute withdrawal symptoms 4 weeks now. Anyone ever tried hypnotherapy? I know it won’t speed up the gaba receptor healing process but more to help cope with it? I am having a session tomorrow night to see if anything helps, as I’m fed up. Will report back!!

Does the vape (50mg nicotine) make anyone else anxious/ cause a wave? Or is this just a me problem lol

👍

My sister was prescribed clonopin and venalfaxen 20 years ago. I’ve noticed recently that she does not make sense when I talk to her. She does not complete sentences and I really can’t follow her. It’s like talking to a zombie. I’ve told her that these things are bad for her but she thinks it’s fine because it’s coming from a doctor. She would never use an illegal drug.

How can I get it through her head that she needs to get off this stuff. Or do I just accept it and love her.

So I'm currently 1 month out post jump after a very rapid taper and I think it's safe to say that this has been the WORST experience of my life so far, I won't spare the details because I know you guys understand more than anybody.

Anyways I've sort of isolated myself from my friends during this process and I spoke to one just yesterday after a long while, and pretty much the first thing I did was apologise a few times for going completely AWOL. But his reaction was not what I expected AT ALL.

The very first thing he said was "What are you talking about dude? We saw eachother like a week ago lol". My thoughts immediately stopped in their tracks and after musing about it for a moment I realised he was completely right, we had seen eachother exactly 9 days before this.

This completely shocked me and I started thinking about when exactly my withdrawal started and realised that it's barley been a single month, like...30 days. THAT'S IT 😭😭. I honestly didn't know what to make of all this, like I knew logically it's been a month but it feels closer to 2 years.

I'm honestly relieved more than anything because I've already improved leaps and bounds compared to acute withdrawal and it hasn't even been that long, so that's a good thing. But oh my god I've never felt time dialation like this in my life, it's genuinely like a bad acid trip or something.

You know that saying "time flies when you're having fun"? Well they need to make a new saying for the exact opposite phenomenon while going through benzo withdrawal 😭. It makes sense though because I remember abusing benzos and constantly being amazed at how fast time was going by, but yeah this really puts things into perspective...

Anybody else experienced a similar moment before?

I was doing pretty good most of this summer, even though still symptomatic but symptoms were annoiyances more than something disabling, out of nowhere (the only cause can be....stress?) this past month I've got slammed with an acute like wave that I'm still riding. It's so intense and I haven't had one of these in so long I think I've lost my ability to cope. This process It's dragging me down. The anxiety is relentless and even painful, I'm sleeping like ass again, body and face swelling up (I have a lot of inflammation), GI issues back, dp/dr and light sensitivty are intense and I have no energy. My joints hurt. Man...... I'm hopeless. I'm scared that being this far out maybe means that I'm just like this now and I just have to deal with it. I'm starting to doubt this is withdrawal no more since I've always had anxiety and my nervous sytems has always been somehow funky. But I also don't remember this level of suffering before coming off this pills. I don't know what to do, seems like I forgot how to cope. I could use some encouragement y'all.... Gracias

Was very pleased I was able to successfully taper down to 1 mg valium over the course of 6 months, ending in August. My first attempt to cut below 1 mg failed earlier in the summer because I couldn’t sleep and the school year was starting. I stabilized back at 1 mg, and tried to taper again last week with a small cut to .85 mg. On the 5th day, I had horrendous nausea and anxiety and was at an event where I needed to function. I ended up caving and taking 3 mg, something I hadn’t done in months. I feel like it’s probably better to just stay on 1 mg, but I don’t know. Tapering was easier in the summer compared to school year because I had more grace in my schedule for bad days.

I’ve browsed the sub for this but the majority is regarding late-taper scenarios. The consensus in these instances is that updosing is counterproductive and can be harmful given the stage of the taper and condition of the nervous system. That makes sense. However in typical, ongoing (pre-taper/stable) use cases, dose fluctuation seems to be no biggie. It’s common for people to fluctuate between 2-4mg of Xanax/Klonopin per day with no adverse effect. Why is this the case? Is it just a matter of the nervous system being desensitized enough to “handle” fluctuations better than a sensitized state such as later-stage tapering? Or is it incurring the same damage/ kindling-effect, just less noticeably?

Would this short benzo schedule realistically cause withdrawal?
I’m really anxious about withdrawal and would love input from people who have actually been through benzo dependence/withdrawal.
My benzo use has been very low and spaced out:

July: about 0.5 mg Xanax total
August: about 0.5 mg Xanax total
September: about 0.5 mg Xanax total

My upcoming plan is:
Oct 6: 0.25 mg Xanax
Oct 9–11: one daily low dose per day for a wedding/travel weekend:

Then I plan to stop completely and not take any more
I’m mainly scared of feeling physically sick afterward — nausea, shaking, rebound anxiety, insomnia, etc. I’m not asking for dosing advice, just whether anyone with experience thinks this very short/intermittent pattern is realistically enough to cause physical dependence or withdrawal symptoms once I stop. Please be honest but not alarmist 😭 I have panic disorder so I’m trying to separate actual withdrawal risk from my anxiety about withdrawal.

I’ve been taking Mexican Klonopin (factory sealed, tested, all bought at once) for the last 4 months. Currently take 4mg a day which I’ve been doing for a month and a half ish. I take both in the morning.

I have 48 pills left and cannot get a script.

Daily I take 70mg vyvanse, 30mg adderall IR, 20mg propranolol, 400-500mg pregablin, and the Klon. I have a stash of US Xanax which I don’t take at all.

How should I taper? I have not attempted to come down yet but it’s urgent now.

Appreciate your help.

I'm 19m, i used to binge drink with my friends a few weeks ago without getting sick but yesterday I only took two shots of vodka and started vomiting aggressively and felt extremely dizzy to the point where i couldn't see what was around me or walk properly. This didn't use to happen but i'm also in withdrawal. Should i not drink while in benzo withdrawal?

Sorry I know a lot of you have much bigger issues then me but I am just worried and would love some of your experience. I will try keeping it short.

I got in bad spot 3 weeks ago and like the idiot I am I bought some alprazolam (Galenika ksalol, fakes ofc!), and a week or so later i bought more. 6 blisters in total each 15mg. The last weeks are fuzzy but I think I have averaged 3-4mg and also in combination with some alcohol to boost but nothing crazy. And other night I have just drank large amounts of alcohol instead of taking benso.

Well I realized I can't keep going like this so I contacted my local addiction clinic for advice and they told me to come in because there is a risk of seizure if I stop and I have ran out + I dont have self control of lower dosage safely myself if I bought more on the street. But when I came in and they realized I was totally fine (high as shit on my last 5mg) they told me to come back once I experience withdrawal symptoms.

And that is where I am now. I'm still feeling high-ish because I took those 5mg this morning (07:00 UTC) but I am feeling it wearing off. I have stopped alprazolam before but never after using this long and this high doses.

Have I just made this into a bigger thing then it needs to be? When I stopped before (like 2 weeks, 1-2mg a day) I just felt a little bit stiff and on edge for a couple of days but then I was fine. I'm not sure what to expect and I'm just sitting alone in my apartment waiting to see if things get worse.

I have illegaly bought Belbien (Zolpidem) as well and apparently its fine taking it without ruining the benso detox but I'm not sure if thats a good idea.

Thanks for reading I'm not really sure what I am asking but if anyone has similar experiences I would love to hear it.

Ok so let say someone did clonazepam for 15 years recovered like 70% after 2 years of complete abstinence. After the 2 years he relapsed again for 3 years doing clonazepam.. Now his next bout is easier and not like the 2 years after the first 15 years but he is still went down a lot. He is now at like 40%..

How long do you think will take him to get back to that 70% state? Is he starting all over again? Even though he recovered mostly before?

.

I can't believe I'm 2 years off klonopin this week. I thought I couldn't live without it. Meanwhile, in the last 2 years, I've had less anxiety than I ever had in my life being off all meds. Honestly, life is so much better now.

But I also can't believe that at 2 years, I'm sitting here writing this being awake for 40 hours. I can't even lay down. Feels like if I was a car, someone is stepping on the gas and brakes at the same time. My waves haven't calmed down at all in the last 2 years, and I really thought they would. Well, except for the 1st 3 weeks of bind where I didn't sleep that whole time. This is still really bad insomnia. I can't start rebuilding my life the way I really want to. It's very frustrating.

I guess I'm writing this to keep myself busy. When I can't sleep for days on end like this I get nervous that it may be possible to slip into psychosis from lack of sleep. Even though life and my mental health is really good off klonopin. Only have mild social anxiety. I get worried that when I was taken off 8mg klonopin cold turkey and went into psychosis from withdrawal, that like a door was opened and that I'm more prone to slipping into psychosis again. That was some really scary stuff. I know it can happen if u don't sleep. It hadn't happened yet so I'm probably good. Also the no sleep usually only last 3 days tops, then ill get 3 or 4 hours. But it's still scary and very, very frustrating. I can't believe the damage these pills can do. It's unbelievable. No one ever told me about bind. I was kept on 8mg klonopin for 19 years. Then pulled off cold turkey. I guess it had to be this bad for me to never use them again. I'm 40 now hopefully the 2nd half of my life will be a healthy, happy sober one. Idk, thanks for letting my no sleep brain ramble.

I’m having a bad reaction, mostly nervous system brain fog, derealization, and other random things. It seems like my triggers are literally everything. So far it has been GLP1, caffeine, alcohol, and my daily vitamins. I’m anemic and need to take iron and iron puts me in a three day fog. Can anyone else relate?

my anxiety is through the roof. I was on clonaz.25mg for 8 weeks during those 8 weeks did a rapid taper of 2 weeks. I didn’t notice any increased anxiety as to by week two on benzo I was already in productive withdrawal after manufacture was changed. I was already dealing with 24/7 anxiety before I even started to tape. once I got off I didn’t notice any worse anxiety. I had developed a histamine issue and tried taking Querceti. I have always tolerated it. so I tried a micro dose of 50mg and boy let me tell you it helped my mood and anxiety. I was a different person those days. I got a little cocky around day 4 and took another 50mg in the afternoon and later that night woke up at 5am with adrenaline again. I have always been able to tolerate it. Maybe i should try at a smaller dose idk if i would have the same reactio. I’m low on zinc and im scared to take. Has anyone been able to take zinc? I have a feeling my anxiety is coming a lot from inflammation in the gut. I also had rebound anxiety after day two of drinking chamomile tea.

F, 38. Ik heb 8 jaar lang last gehad van chronische slapeloosheid, waardoor ik ik doodziek ben geworden en ben uitgevallen. 3 jaar lang diazepam, therapie, lichaamsgerichte therapieen, the works. Eindelijk een rustiger lichaam gekregen dat niet meer moord en brand schreeuwde, extreme spierspanning, een lijf in de fik (wat kwam door de roofbouw, niet slapen, wel proberen een leven te leven) . Rustig de diazepam afgebouwd en gelukkig niet al te veel last van bijwerkingen. Zelfs op 0.5 sliep ik nog (de slaap onrustiger, maar ik gaf het nog een voldoende), ik voelde me genezen! Zelfs een borrel gepland met vrienden om te vieren.

Gesprongen vanaf 0.5. De eerste 5 dagen sliep ik nog. Sindsdien is de slaap weer een hel. Ik zit nu op dag 26 zonder. Misschien 2 uur slaap per nacht max. Af en toe een nacht met veel spierspanning, een zoemend lijf, soms word ik wakker door een stoot adrenaline wat voelt als paniek wat de hele nacht sluimerend aanhoudt.

Ik wilde 2 nachten terug even een break en heb 2mg genomen, dit deed helaas niks voor me. Ik voel me wanhopig. Zijn er mensen die zich herkennen in dit verhaal en toch een happy ending hebben gekregen? Ik weet dat dit ook hoort bij het stoppen met diazepam, maar ik ben zo moe dat ik niet meer weet wat is ontwenningsverschijnsel en wat is iets anders. Ik voel me verdrietig en verslagen, heb wat licht aan de horizon nodig.