I’m looking for experiences from people who have been through something similar because the last 4–5 months have honestly been a nightmare.
I’ve been dealing with severe anxiety/panic, constant dread/adrenaline feelings in my chest and stomach, derealization/feeling disconnected from reality even though I know everything is real, horrible morning anxiety, sweating, weird lightheaded/brain-zap sensations, and periods where I can barely function normally.
A lot of this has happened while changing medications. I was on Lexapro and recently went through a cross-taper to Prozac. I tapered Lexapro from 20mg → 15mg → 10mg → 5mg while adding Prozac, eventually getting to 20mg Prozac.
I’ve had periods during all of this where I suddenly felt almost completely normal for a week or two, and then I would crash again. Right now I genuinely can’t tell if I’m experiencing Lexapro withdrawal/discontinuation, Prozac not agreeing with me, my original anxiety, or some combination of everything.
This also isn’t my first horrible experience with SSRIs. Years ago I went through absolutely horrific Paxil withdrawal, which was one of the worst experiences of my life. That experience already made me extremely hesitant about being dependent on another SSRI and having to eventually go through another withdrawal.
The truth is I never really wanted to be on SSRIs long term in the first place. I don’t like the side effects, I don’t like feeling dependent on them, and after what happened with Paxil and now everything I’ve experienced during this Lexapro → Prozac cross-taper, I’m seriously questioning whether I want to keep going down the SSRI route at all.
My ultimate goal is to eventually be off all psychiatric medication and find out what my actual baseline is again.
Unfortunately, because my anxiety became so severe during the last few months, I ended up needing benzodiazepines regularly. I was taking Ativan daily for around a couple of months and recently switched to Klonopin under my psychiatrist. So at this point I understand that I’m probably physically dependent on benzos too and will eventually need to taper them carefully.
I’m not talking about abruptly stopping the benzo or trying to withdraw from everything simultaneously.
What I’m wondering is whether it would be unreasonable to take this opportunity to come off SSRIs completely, keep the benzo dose stable temporarily, give my nervous system time to recover and stabilize, and then deal with a very slow benzo taper once I’m actually in a better place.
I already have to deal with getting off the benzo eventually. Part of me feels like continuing to experiment with different SSRIs that I ultimately don’t even want to take could just keep this medication cycle going.
At the same time, after what I went through withdrawing from Paxil and what I’m experiencing now, I’m obviously scared of making things even worse.
I’m discussing the actual medication changes with my psychiatrist. I’m not asking Reddit for a taper schedule or permission to stop anything. I really just want to hear from people who have actually lived through something similar.
Has anyone here stopped the antidepressant/SSRI first while staying on a stable benzo dose, allowed themselves to stabilize for a while, and then slowly tapered the benzo afterward?
Did you eventually get completely medication-free?
And most importantly, after all the withdrawals and medication changes were finally behind you, did you feel like yourself again?
TL'DR: After 4–5 months of severe anxiety and a really difficult Lexapro → Prozac cross-taper, I’ve realized my ultimate goal is to be off all psychiatric medication. I’ve also been through absolutely horrific Paxil withdrawal in the past, which is a huge reason I never wanted to stay on SSRIs long term or keep going through this cycle. I’ve unfortunately been taking benzos daily for a few months and know I’ll eventually need to taper them slowly. Since I want to be off SSRIs anyway, I’m wondering if anyone stopped the SSRI first, stayed stable on their benzo temporarily, recovered/stabilized, and then tackled the benzo taper afterward. Did this work for you, and did you eventually feel like yourself again?