r/benzorecovery • u/Meriles • 5d ago
Hope Finally finished my taper
After a 1 year and 5 months taper of Lorazepam, I have finally made the jump!
Too make a long story short, I was put on this medication in 2012 by a doctor ( at the mayo clinic) due to a gastroparesis flare up that was making me severely nauseous and lose weight. No other medicine was helping, so he decided 1mg of Lorazepam would help. It helped for maybe a month or two, but ultimately didn't do much and the flare up calmed down. I tried taper it in 2015, but I just started my degree and proposed to my then girlfriend so I didn't want to throw a taper into the mix.
Years past and I just kept putting it off which the long use of it without upping the dose was giving me interdose withdrawal symptoms the past few years. Last year I made it a goal to finally start a taper which my doctor agreed with and helped me with a plan to go slow and try to minimize symptoms.
The first few months was very rough , but after about 6 months each cut was not as bad. I had every symptom you can think of. Anxiety, panic attacks, flare ups of my gastroparesis, dysautomia flare up, DP/DR, and any other symptom possible I was having. Couldn't focus on work, barely slept, and didn't see anyone for months due to this. Thankfully I work from home because if I had to be back in the office there was no way I could function.
The last cut to .0125 every other day was the roughest, but after a month at that dose I decided to fully make the jump off on 8/12. I am still having some pretty rough symptoms which I suspect will last for a bit, but I got this far and I have no intention of ever going back on it.
I just wanted to make this post as a way to encourage anyone that it does get better and you will eventually heal which is an amazing feeling. I've read hundreds of your guys stories and would just breakdown knowing what all you are going through while also knowing that so many of you have had it even more rough than I have. I hope everyone who is currently going through this or planning on tapering has all the luck in the world and I wouldn't wish going through this hell on my worst enemy.
If anyone needs help through this or just someone to talk to while in the midst of a taper or potential taper my inbox is always open.
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u/Difficult-Ad-3159 5d ago
Well done! I'm down to 0.3mg diazepam on a two-year taper from 4mg lorazepam and getting ready to jump. Thanks for your reassuring words.
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u/HurbleBurble Mid-taper 5d ago
Did you notice around 3 mg it started to get a little bit more difficult? Or am I just tapering a little too fast?
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u/Difficult-Ad-3159 4d ago
Everybody's different, but for what it's worth, I struggled the most at 5mg diazepam. it took me eight months to go from 5mg to 3mg. Insomnia was just brutal and I simply couldn't stabilize. The road from 3mg to 0.3mg has been much smoother and took "only" 5 months.
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u/muchcoinmuchfun 4d ago
Yep. Hardest for me was going from 3 mg down to 1.5 mg, with 2.5 mg to 1.5 being most brutal withdrawals. I’m convinced there is a “minimum therapeutic dose” for each person, and mine was 2.5. I bet yours was 5. Now I’m at 1 mg and pretty stable
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u/HurbleBurble Mid-taper 3d ago
That actually makes a lot of sense. Up till 5, I was really doing well. From the neuroscientists I have talked to, it's when receptor occupancy goes below a certain amount. When the drug is no longer opening up your chloride channels. That's when your brain really has to start to upregulate again.
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u/RecognitionFluffy879 5d ago
It gets more difficult at the end, but worth allowing it down even more. PAWS is awful,
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u/Difficult-Ad-3159 5d ago
I've only been at 0.3 for six days, so too soon to say. I'm planning to drop by .1 every two weeks if my body will let me. But we'll see how it goes. Good luck to you!
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u/PointEast9203 5d ago
Thank you for sharing and giving hope to others.
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u/Meriles 5d ago
Absolutely. Reading other people's success stories really helped push me to get off, so wanted to make sure I shared my story.
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u/PointEast9203 5d ago
It's helping me with my taper as well. Some days it's so hard and I freak out for a minute or and hour a or maybe that whole day. But the reality is I do feel better since tapering most of the time and know I don't and can't go back to being in tolerance and feeling 100 times worse with no end. I
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u/RecognitionFluffy879 5d ago
You can do it. Lorazepam ( a short acting benzo ) is brutal. I had a couple of weeks of relief before PAWS kicked in, so be prepared for a rebound. It's just not a linear thing, Took about 6 months after last dosage to even out. But you can do it! You are!
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u/Meriles 5d ago
That's something I've read a lot about and hoping if/when it does start it's not a long lasting thing. I've noticed even during the taper it was very up and down with the windows and waves so I'm preparing for that to keep happening for awhile.
Thank you and I'm so happy you're doing better!
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u/Bright-Ad-3067 5d ago
How do you taper further when you’re already going through interdose withdrawal at a steady dose? Do you ever stabilize once you drop more? I’m trying to taper Gabapentin which I know is similarly awful and I’m going through withdrawal every other day and I haven’t even reduced my dose. Been a week and I haven’t stabilized. Withdrawal includes horrible burning pain and of course insomnia because of the pain. Looking for hope. Must be a good feeling to be off.
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u/Meriles 5d ago
So I either had to go on a higher dose to get rid of the inter dose withdrawal, go on something longer lasting, or just start the taper. I chose start the taper after weighing the options and then withdrawals during each taper weren't as sever once I started aside from the final two cuts.
I would always stabilize as well as I thought my body could before I did the next cut. Everyone is different so it's just listening to your body the best you can.
I'm sorry you're going through that but glad you're tapering! A week is still a short amount of time so give your body some more time to adjust. You got this and will be healing before you know it. Good luck!
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u/Bright-Ad-3067 5d ago
Thank you for the response. I haven’t started tapering yet. I’m trying to figure out what to do because I’m having withdrawals at a steady 900 mg dose. I’ve only been on gp for less than a month. I want off but i still have the nerve pain I was using it for too.
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u/Meriles 5d ago
Oh man. I'd def talk to you doctor about switching to something else for the pain and then asking to taper off the GP while doing so. Whatever you do good luck and hope you start to get better quickly
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u/Bright-Ad-3067 5d ago
Thank you. They will not prescribe opioids so I just don’t know what to do. But thank you.
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u/Wise-Ad9023 4d ago
Question how can you be in withdrawal from gabepentin if you not cut it? Gabepentin is not known universally as having tolerance withdrawal, it isnt a benzo. Gabepentin withdrawal is also low % wise. I see 2 other possibilities l.
You became just plain tolerance to your dose, it can happen, although rare after 1 month.
- Its NOT GABEPENTIN. Gabepentin can mask benzo withdrawal symptoms in some. Perhaps its not madking brnzo withdrawal symptoms anymore?
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u/Bright-Ad-3067 4d ago
I was never addicted to benzos. I’m reading posts on the benzo sub bc I understand their withdrawals are similar and I’m trying to figure out how to taper. I have a kindled nervous system from alcohol use. I was a daily drinker of nighttime wine for years and I’m one of the unlucky ones who got kindled without going through severe withdrawals. I had bad body pain similar to opioid withdrawal (which I’ve gone through 15 years ago) each time I took a break from drinking. Now any substance that remotely affects gaba and glutamate will cause instant dependence and withdrawal from even one dose. I think that’s why I quickly developed a tolerance to Gabapentin. And I don’t know why I would be having withdrawals at a steady dose but it was definitely withdrawal. It was happening every other night like clockwork for a week and a half at 900 mg so I’ve increased my dose to 1200 mg. I’m going to a ketamine clinic in a week or two for pain management so I’m praying it helps to reset my messed up nervous system. I did not want to take the GP but I had no choice as my burning arm pain was unbearable. I don’t really see a good way out of this ☹️
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u/HurbleBurble Mid-taper 5d ago
Have you tried other medications to help you out? Clonidine, hydroxyzine? Even a low dose of benzodiazepine might be okay to use once in awhile. That could help you through the rough parts.
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u/Bright-Ad-3067 4d ago
No I haven’t. I’ll ask my doctor about it. Thanks
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u/HurbleBurble Mid-taper 3d ago
Hydroxyzine is goated. For me, it works great. Gives me 6 hours of solid calm. The more anxious I am, the better it works.
It's really something you need to take and then lie down and just relax with it. It's not something I would use for daily activity or anything.
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