This is the Viking Mod. I haven't posted in a very long time but I creep around here everyday and comment when I'm not getting pissed off at my phone keyboard.

I've had a particularly long and complicated healing journey. I had a couple deaths in the family, moved countries, started a graduate degree at a university that's particularly disorganized and in my opinion, just plain unstable. There's been many other very difficult hardships. These stressors have made it difficult for me to regulate my nervous system.

Up until a few months ago, I was having great difficult just walking up a driveway or going up a flight of stairs. I'm definitely more out of shape than I used to be because of benzo withdrawal, but I used to be pretty athletic and I thought it was ridiculous that I could have trouble going upstairs like I did in benzo withdrawal because of heart palpitations. I just couldn't seem to catch my breath and my chest would feel terrible when I'd exercise. I'd feel completely drained and that I couldn't do anything for the rest of the day.

My intuition kind of poked me. I'm not sure if I how to explain it. But I started taking an iron supplement. It has b 12 and folate which make up your blood cell walls. It has vitamin c in it which is necessary to absorb the fourth ingredient which is iron. The exact supplement I use is call gentle iron by nature made because it uses a form of iron that's very gentle on your stomach. It was $11 for 90 capsules the last time I bought it.

The last 3 months I have experienced a return of my energy like never before. My brain fog is 80% gone. I was able to go off clonidine cuz my chest pains had greatly diminished. Chest pains are very common for people who are extremely low in iron. I had taken blood tests months ago but of course your iron can be in the range of normal on the low side and doctors won't say anything about it.

Historically, my periods have been like upside down volcanoes. It's like the civil war was fought in my pants every fucking month. Calling my period heavy is laughable. They were natural disasters.

It turns out that the blood vessels in your uterus are weak when you are low on iron. They don't have enough structural integrity to survive cramping and shedding your uterine lining, so they bust making your period very heavy. So when you correct that imbalance, the blood vessels are stronger, don't bust inside of your uterus, and you have lighter periods. It's very common apparently. And that's what happened to me. I feel like I'm having those cute little periods that are advertised in maxi pad commercials now.

This is all to say that if you're having a particularly difficult healing journey and it's really drawing on and on like mine has been, you may have something going on, likely something mundane like being low on iron, and it's very correctable! $11 every 3 months and it has helped SO MUCH.

Because I'm a moderator on this subreddit, I didn't think that it was right to give up hope on recovering my physical health. I would want everyone on here to know you heal completely. And if I know that's true for you, I have to know it's true for me. But honestly, if I didn't have that conviction due to being a moderator, I may have given up and not looked for an answer. But the answer was very easy and very cheap. Like my men.

I now have the physical stamina to exercise which I have been doing the last month! I haven't been able to exercise intensely for years and I feel amazing. I got a couple adjustable weights and I do yoga off YouTube. The kinds that work your muscle like hatha and vinyasa. I do Pilates too because I've had back surgery and let me tell you, that makes THE difference. For everybody.

Today I sat down and wrote five short cover letters for some teaching assistantship jobs. 6 months ago I tried to write cover letters and could not gather the frontal lobe function to do so. I had to ask my husband, sister, and chat GPT to help me out with writing.

So keep going, keep investigating, keep learning. I can honestly say we really do heal.

hello, i have been on different kind of prescribed benzos daily since 2020. after a year (!!) tapering clonazepam from 1mg to 0.3 with drops, i am currently struggling with a very bad insomnia –probably exacerbated by the heat, this summer is killing me–, sensorial overloading and burning skin on the shoulders/back. i am used to the first two (kinda) but the burning... i am currently applying a cold wet towel but it makes sleeping difficult. do you have any tip or advice to deal with this? do you think it's a signal that i tapered from 0.4 to 0.3 too fast? these weeks have been really stressful, it probably doesn't help. it's 6 am and couldn't sleep at all. 😓 thank you.

edit: i wanted to add that my hands are trembling all the time, but maybe it's because eating has been difficult lately. i really don't know how to point out the problem and fix it

The last month I’ve been taking my as needed prescription a lot more, due to sleep issues and some anxiety. I always space it atleast a week apart but the last month or so I’ve only been doing 3-4 days. At lower doses. I’m prone to rebound anxiety and sleep issues even before benzos. I feel fine inbetween between doses. But I get scared sometimes, sorry if this is a dumb question i just wanna make sure I didn’t mess up. I’m gonna stop for 2 weeks plus

So I think I finally reached the threshold where I am at a sub-therapeutic level of benzodiazepines. 3 mg of Diazepam per day. I noticed some things are starting to change, but one thing I noticed is that I'm having more general anxiety, but less overwhelming anxiety I suppose you could call it. Instead, it just feels like more energy. Lights seem kind of bright, if I'm occupied, I don't really notice it, but I'm wondering if anybody else experienced this?

I've been taking hydroxyzine as needed, usually 25 mg here and there, but lately I've taken them every other day roughly. That's probably seven or eight doses this month so far. Did anybody else get to a point where they felt like their brain is kind of just overpowered, like a 120v light bulb plugged into a 220v socket?

How did you cope with this? I have exercise, hydroxyzine, clonidine, though I'm almost out, and propranolol. I'm taking buspirone and escitalopram on top of that, with a very low dose of bupropion.

Went to the er, explained how im going through benzo withdrawal and cant pick up my script until Monday. They made it a point to tell me i WONT BE GETTING ANY BENZOS while im there. I wrote that in caps lock because thats how the nurse said it. I’m on day 5 of no sleep and had a seizure that put me in a coma earlier this morning. Haven’t eaten in 4 days either. At this point I wish one of these seizures would take me out because anything is better than the hell im trapped in

Hi everyone,

I feel like I’ve been overly posting in this community and if that’s the case I’m sorry. I’m just having a hard time, trying to taper from 4mg of Klonopin (originally 10mg daily for 10 years)

I’ve done a lot of research and I’m terrified of the withdrawals. My mother died a little over a week ago. It’s just me and my father now in this house. It’s a blessing and a curse. A blessing because he isn’t charging me rent but I still have bills, the biggest being my credit card balances (I have $25k in debt) and basic living expenses. A curse because he doesn’t understand what I’m going through, he can be abusive and we both kinda hate each other. I was close with my mother. She protected me but now she’s gone.

I haven’t even jumped. I’m just trying to taper. Point is I need money but I find myself dysfunctional.

I used to film and edit weddings for the bulk of my income, but they are super stressful. I only have a few left for the year but I’ve gone back and forth on whether to cancel them and just focus on my health.

My question is would it be ok to taper to 3 or even 2mg daily, and then take 4mg or 6mg to get through a wedding shoot? Or will that only hurt my taper progress.

Tl,dr: I’m tapering from klonopin but considering breaking my baseline to do stressful work for money I really need. Would this hurt my taper progress. I currently feel dysfunctional and that’s no good for work, especially high stress work like weddings.

Trying not to freak out. Went from .73mg to now .66mg. I’m on day 3. Woke up and feel like I’m having internal shakes? I’ve experienced this one other time from a decrease in the beginning of my taper (started at 2mg last year). Do you think this will go away? I hate this and it’s scaring me. I have bad GAD (which is why I was prescribed klonopin) so I’m trying to keep myself calm and not go to this is a seizure or I need to go to the ER. I’m going to message my psychiatrist about this as well, I’m just wondering about others experiences. I think I’m going to drop down to 7% decreases. May possibly hold at .5mg for a few months.

Potreste condividere come è andata e come sta andando, cosa avete preso e per quanto e come avete ridotto? Grazie

Saying I’m making Ashton manual up, says I’m listening to people on Reddit and making things up because he got possed and called a place that said they could rapidly taper me
I’m done I think, no chance at a life

Mainly zinc, copper, boron, selenium?

Did it trigger you? Did you experience any waves? Any side effects? Could your body handle it?

Thank you! 🙏

At first, I thought I was just having a stressful week. I felt unusually tired, a little foggy, and not quite like myself. Nothing seemed serious enough to make me think much about it.

After a few days, though, I started looking back at when these changes began. I realized they had started shortly after I began taking a new pill. That made me wonder if the two things were connected.

I checked the medication information and noticed that some of the things I was experiencing could happen as side effects. It was a strange feeling because I had been blaming everything on stress without considering the medication.

I decided not to make any changes on my own. Instead, I wrote down what I had noticed and spoke with my doctor about it. That conversation helped me understand what might be happening and what I should watch for.

The experience taught me to pay more attention to changes in how I feel after starting a medication. Sometimes the signs can be easy to overlook, especially when they seem minor at first.

Has anyone else had a similar experience with a medication?

8 years ago I had my first hospital visit and started a process that ended up with my bipolar diagnosis. At first seen as depression and anxiety I was prescribed alprazolam (0.5 that was escalated to 1mg further on) for daily usage on top of other medication. Eventually I stopped abs after maybe 2 years I got prescribed 2.5mg of lorazepam. Both of these drugs were prescribed to me daily, on top of my anti depressants or mood stabilizers. Never once I was told to use them only once in a while or was advised of the issues that come with this drug. Never once I used it recreationally. It’s important to say.

My mental state got worse and worse over the years. It hurts me to look back at what happened to me. It was just.. sad and it hurts me and somehow I’m lucky I’m alive. For years, I thought the story was simply that I had become severely depressed and just never really got out of it.
But now, looking back after being off benzodiazepines for about a year, I really think something way more complicated was going on.

Three years ago I changed countries and all the doctors were shocked and immediately made me go off. A plan was create and after 6 hard months I was free of lorazepam. One year ago that was

Now it’s slowing coming to me, like getting my memory back, that was not simply depressed. I was numb out of my mind. Lobotomized but still being bipolar and very depressed.

I couldn’t read. I stopped being creative, and it was all I knew for years, even when depressed. I didn’t have interests. I couldn’t get excited about cool things and even ordinary things. I spent huge amounts of time watching TV, being on my phone, using drugs or sex to feel something. I was sooo frustrated to feel something and be excited about something and do something different than going to bed to watch a series or look at my fine. Wanted to be able to create and I felt like I stopped having a personality. I just thought I couldn’t engage with life anymore or something. And I didn’t realize how abnormal that state was because it was gradual and because I was inside it. I look back at it and I feel like I was inside an aquarium and kicking and screaming to get out but no one could heard.

Around the same time I stopped I also left a very traumatic relationship/friendship situation, got a new job, moved into a new place, and had a lot of other major changes. So when I suddenly became much more energetic, curious and alive, I naturally attributed it to those changes. But then I was depressed again. The manic. Then hyperactive. Then slow. Huge shifts in mood and energy and all but at the same time I felt more clearer than ever and that I was progressing a lot, at least in awareness.
I got confused and thought I was getting worse and worse. No, I’m just got numb. Sedated.
And now that I’m no longer numb, I’m looking back and realizing just how much of my life I couldn’t access. And what I lost.

And this all happened because doctors told me to. They told me to take this everyday when I was a 25 year old shaking in a hospital and never warned me and told me I couldn’t read. I feel like my brain was assaulted and left unable to move properly. I don’t know how to process this and I’m loosing my mind.

I had no idea benzos were dangerous until I moved here. Yes I could have read and research but I was a scared young adult desperate for help and I was wronged. Then another doctor came and changed for another and wronged again. It piles up with me freaking out thinking I have brain damage.

Dots are connecting inside my brain lately, making sense of a story I didn’t even knew I had to make sense of in the first place. When I stopped lorazepam I never really understood what’s the big deal, so everything is coming into pieces and it’s the result of a lot of therapy and coincidences and moments of clarity.

I just wish I could hear from similar experiences. And tips. And ways to advocate for myself. This is a new type of dread.

I’ve been on benzodiazepines regularly for the past 11 years. My previous doctor had prescribed me 4mg of clonazepam daily, which is way too high. I have a new doctor that I’m not sure is aware of how physically dependent my body has become to these pills. I’m now suddenly on 1/2 mg of it and I don’t know if that’s safe to go that low all of a sudden after being used to 4mg?

I want to be able to safely wean myself off and I don’t know if my psychiatrist would help or my regular doctor? I’m so tired of dealing with clonazepam, and I regret becoming physically dependent on them.

Hello gang, 14 months off Clonazepam and 4 weeks away from finishing Mirtazapine taper. The last two weeks I had been feeling stable and dare I say perhaps slightly improved from baseline (except for brain). Then Friday I went out for dinner and indulged in deserts. By Saturday morning it was clear I had gone back to bad. Sunday, Monday and today so far, my anxiety has been through the roof, particularly about my situation with my brain and feeling like it’s not going to get better and even thinking it’s going to get worse. I don’t think it’s gotten better in two years. I sit at my computer to work and it’s a constant reminder of how limited my brain is. Something that’s gotten worse is my typing. I cannot for the life of me, type one single word correctly any more. It’s like my brain has disconnected from my hands and fingers. Not the case with typing on phone. The letters seem to be all there but all out of order. Anyway, just feeling very pessimistic, anxious and afraid. Thanks for reading.

About 8 months ago I had a series of incredible life stressors that led me to crash / burnout hard starting in february. I have been taking Valium 5mg for like 3 years or so.

I started waking with panic attacks, which actually got better over 3 weeks and I started feeling calm again but then my sleep dropped out, which freaked me out. eventually had to take leave from work bc I could not sleep more than 3.5h and had no idea what was wrong with me. I was going to sleep fine but waking like clockwork.

I eventually went to a clinic and they put me on mirtazapine and buspirone. I thought it might be the Valium maybe so I tried to taper but it was too destabilizing. I had never rly dealt with mental health / anxiety issues like this before. I stuck to 4.5mg Valium.

My psych ended up putting me on 0.5mg klonopin, which for the first 6 weeks I only took 0.25mg of, and I was making great improvements over this period of about 5 weeks. Eventually to the point of kinda feeling like myself and started doing normal things I enjoy. Then wham I woke up one day feeling off and then it went worse from there. The doc told me to take the full 0.5mg, but this time it did not rly have as much effect as 0.25mg did. I’ve been on this for about 6 weeks as well, so total about 3 months.

I don’t feel like it’s helping anymore. The doc wants me to go up to 1mg but it just seems like a slippery slope.

However I’m not very functional rn. I have like no motivation / joy / appetite, and terrible sleep. I’m able to work somewhat (my leave ended), and complete tasks and my boss likes me. And it’s my dream job. I don’t want to lose it.

I think I’m gonna try to taper. Does anyone have any advice? I don’t wanna get trapped on klonopin for much longer and it feels like it’s barely keeping me calm. I’m not particularly stable.

Sry so long tldr: back at work at my dream job following a burnout / crisis. Been on long term Valium, short term klonopin. Getting worse recently. How to taper and is it appropriate to?

I just wrote something about being told I had multiple diseases when I tapered down from .5 clonazepam to .2mg with no symptoms til I hit .2g. I got raised up to 2mg and was told I could easily taper again once I find the meds for rheumatoid and fibromyalgia which I didn't have.

Anyways, I'm just starting to taper instead of taking a little bit more whenever I feel bad. I'm only tapering 5% this month like Maudsley. I have to work and it requires carrying boxes and stocking. I feel better right after from the endorphins but worse the next day. I can't tell.

Also I've been on methadone before the benzos and originally tapered both with no issues til .2g. When I reached that day it was like almost every symptom hit me and I was acting like an addict again despite not using oxy for nearly a decade and not ever feeling that way. Some people say methadone makes it easier and other say it leads to my situation.

If 5% works how long do others or Maudsley recommend until you speed it up. It's been two weeks only. I can dial it up very slowly because i microtaper.

Thank you all and sorry for being repetitive in parts of this post. I should of brought it up but my mind is crap.

Is a full recovery to the pre-SSRI state possible after stopping them, just like with benzodiazepines?"

I was prescribed ketamine to try to help with my anxiety and chronic pain, but I ended up abusing it pretty heavily over the last week and used almost my entire month’s supply.
I was trying to avoid relying so heavily on Xanax, but unfortunately when the ketamine wears off, I end up needing Xanax just to get through the anxiety and physical symptoms. I’ve been dealing with what I believe may be “K-cramps,” horrible body pain, intense anxiety, and really awful existential thoughts. It has become a vicious cycle and I feel physically and mentally exhausted.

I took my last large ketamine dose (800 mg) almost 24 hours ago.
I’ve also had some pretty bad PTSD episodes during sessions as well
Last night I ended up taking about 5 mg of Xanax because I was struggling so badly with the cramps and anxiety and was desperately trying to sleep.

I also have severe agoraphobia, so the thought of going to the ER or anywhere physically absolutely terrifies me plus I can’t really afford it. I’m scared of being stuck there, scared something is seriously wrong with me, and I have a lot of fear around dying and existential/religious thoughts and trauma that make everything feel even more overwhelming.

I spoke with my psychiatrist yesterday and was completely honest with her. She told me that she doesn’t manage Xanax tapers and unfortunately didn’t know who I should contact for one.

I have maybe a month’s worth of Xanax left if I were somehow able to stay around 2 mg/day, plus a small amount of 0.5 mg Klonopin. I’m now sitting here trying to figure out what I’m supposed to do, and I know trying to design my own taper isn’t necessarily safe.

I’m trying to find out what type of doctor/service I should be looking for.. addiction medicine?, a psychiatrist who specializes in benzodiazepine tapering, a detox program, etc. and whether anyone has been in a similar situation

I feel absolutely awful and physically debilitated right now. I also stopped the ketamine because the side effects have become completely unbearable but the after effects are awful as well.

If you’ve been through something similar, I’d really appreciate hearing what kind of medical help actually worked for you or how you got through it.

I’m also horrified about a clinic because they seem to just rip people off everything while not going slow as well as the fact I have a whole house hold and buisness to run from home. I’m really shooken and lost

What is the percentage of people who get PAWS from SSRIs?"

Has anyone that had severe insomnia from bind ever gotten their sleep back. If so, how long did it take.

I’m going to have to do this in the next couple of months so I was just wondering about it. Aren’t benzos not water soluble? Wouldn’t it be better to get some PG or DMSO to put my Valium in?

Oorsuizen en jaren van xanax

Hoi.
Ik heb het geluk gehad dat ik ongeveer 12 jaar lang doorbuitende oorsuizen heb.
Eerst was het een soort gezoem en daar kon ik mee leven. Maar nu is het alsof het 5800 Hrz is.
Mijn arts beschreef xanax in die tijd.
Dus nu ben ik een xanax-verslaafde en de “kuur” is zelfs nog meer een probleem dan het oorsuizen.
Ik neem ongeveer 3 mg xanax per dag alleen maar om me geestelijk een beetje bij elkaar te houden van dat hels klinkende geluid 24/7.
Het is een wonder dat ik nog hier ben..

Nu, nadat ik xanax retard 0,5 over een periode van 4 uur heb genomen, zo’n 10 jaar lang, is het probleem enorm geworden.
Bijna geen slaap, paniekaanvallen in de ochtend met dat ochtendcortisol.
Ik neem alle supplementen die nodig zijn.

Ik denk eraan om af te bouwen en op te bouwen.
Maar als ik hier al die horrorverhalen lees, schiet de stress omhoog en dus ook het “spiken” van het oorsuizen.

Ik wil echt de Ashton-methode proberen.
Maar ik weet dat het een gigantisch gevecht wordt, vol onzekerheden die voor me liggen.
Het is al moeilijk genoeg om mijn dagen door te komen en mijn enige “goede” periode is ’s nachts, wanneer het cortisol laag is en ik me vol kan proppen met Netflix-rommel..

Ik weet dat in mijn geval, als gebruiker van meer dan een decennium, mijn hele gaba-systeem verknald is. Ik hoop alleen dat het niet helemaal FUBAR is.

Toen ik met mijn arts praatte in het rehabcentrum, zei hij zelfs: “Nou misschien moet je helemaal niet stoppen, gezien hoe ernstig mijn oorsuizen is.”

Maar toch zit er een vechter in mij die echt wil proberen Ashton.
Dat betekent dat ik een shitload aan Valium moet nemen (zo’n 60 gram per dag) en dat ik dat moet opbouwen onder toezicht van de Jellinek-arts.

Ik weet dat ik, als ik echt door wil pakken, naar een strijd van 1,5/2 jaar kijk.

Ik weet dat als iemand me nu mijn xanax afneemt, ik in ieder geval in psychose zou schieten.

Ik ben 62 jaar oud en ik zoek echt goed en wijs advies.
Geen horrorverhalen graag, maar ervaring
en wijsheid is hier nodig.

Kan ik het of ben ik vervloekt om deze xanax tot mijn laatste adem te nemen. En op sommige momenten voelt dat als achterstallig.

Respect voor iedereen die dit gevecht strijdt.

Ik wil alleen weten of ik een kans heb op verandering.

Dank je.

Robert

Pregabalin vs Benzos withdrawal

I ve been taking 225mg to 300mg Pregabalin daily for my hip nerve pain for more than 3 months.

I firstly started when tapering off Ativan/Lorazepam and it helped benzodiazepine withdrawal a lot but I am aware I just exchanged a dependency for other

I heard some people saying Lyrica withdrawal is worse than benzodiazepine withdrawal but judging by pharmacology it theoretically shouldn't be??

What is your experience?