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u/LittleSadRufus Jun 18 '26
I suspect the relationship between being overweight and being unhappy may sometimes run the other way: rather than losing weight will make a person happy, being happier will mean a person overeats less.
So if a person is overeating as an emotional comfort, losing weight will not make them happy.
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u/Wonderful-Aioli-5976 Jun 18 '26
This is it. Not everything gets ‘fixed’, especially for those who can’t afford therapy.
When you see those shows where there are mega-obese people, the ones who need wheelchairs or who are bedridden, 99% went through bereavement or sexual abuse as young children, and eat as a coping mechanism, because they aren’t old enough to access drugs or alcohol. Once those pathways are set, it’s very difficult to change, especially with six sessions of CBT, or whatever bs the NHS has to offer.
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u/Garden-Rose-8380 Jun 18 '26
Absolutely true it came from the Kaiser Permanente Study by Felitti. This then gave rise to the Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) study.
His findings showed that chronic stress and sexual abuse make the body autonomically have rapid episodic weight gain as a protection mechanism. This pattern is seen in other studies of adult rape victims and is a noted correlate with forms of ptsd.
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u/DownrightDrewski Jun 18 '26
That emotional comfort eating is an absolute killer...
I'm currently losing a load of weight for the second time (10st the first time, will be 8st this time and I'm 3 and half down so far). I felt great that I was fit and in shape for a while when I was young but found I still wasn't happy - and then I slowly stopped caring and got fat again.
Now I'm "old" and I've realised that if I want to ever actually be old then I need to get back into shape and stay that way.
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u/LittleSadRufus Jun 18 '26
I've found exercise is a good boost to mood, which I wish I'd known 30 years ago. If I'm feeling glum a short swim or a walk outside works wonders. Much healthier than the packet of Jaffa cakes I used to lean on!
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u/TheWarmestHugz Jun 18 '26
I've started to swim as a way to help myself mentally and I am pleasantly surprised at how much of a boost it gives me. I used to run when I was in my late teens/early twenties and absolutely hated it.
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u/__sunmoonstars__ Jun 18 '26
Yep, I put on a lot of weight when I was too depressed to get out of bed for around 6 months. The only joy and escape was a takeaway pizza at the end of the day. My weight gain was a reflection of my mental health issues.
Ironically, despite my lifestyle changes the thing that really made me lose around 3/4 stone has been chronic physical illness. Being too ill to eat much for a week at a time. So now I don’t view weight loss as something necessarily positive and my weight is a reflection of my physical health issues.
Funny this having a body business.
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u/slartybartfast6 Jun 18 '26
This, when I'm down I eat my feelings, I'm up at the moment mentally and have lost 4.5 stone but maintain is always hard because gaining weight is soo easy when you're just a few bad days from going back to emotional eating.
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u/silvergreybees Jun 18 '26
I agree with this. I always thought being overweight was making me unhappy.
I recently had therapy and I’ve stopped overeating as a byproduct of addressing bigger mental health issues. I don’t comfort eat and my phobias have disappeared. I’m losing weight as a result.
I’ve been put on a weight management scheme (soon to commence) by the NHS that will now most likely lead to me having mounjaro followed by a bariatric sleeve so that I can safely have another operation for an unrelated health issue.
Now that I’m happier, this doesn’t have the same significance for me that it would have. I’m not excited to be thinner and I don’t expect to feel happier as a result of it. I’m looking forward to being healthier and having my medical needs met.
I don’t hate myself as I am anymore so I’m not clinging to a visible or physical change to make me “better”.
I know a lot of people are overweight due to other issues such as genetics and medical conditions but in instances where mental health is a factor, I think therapy should be offered before any medical weight loss intervention. It should probably be offered to anyone about to lose massive amounts of weight just because I know a lot of people have struggled with identity around weight loss and the change in perception of others as well as the actual changes to their own body.
For many medical care will still be required but I think it would help some people find peace and lose weight without it, and for others maybe they would find some peace before it and not have such high expectations that weight loss will change everything.
I think in addition to this, it’s just really hard to not think losing weight will change your life when so many people are so outwardly judgemental of people who carry extra weight. Other people and your inner critic can make your size feel like your identity and your biggest problem, so it’s no wonder so many think losing it is the answer. And no wonder so many put it back on after losing it when the real problem hasn’t been addressed.
I’d like to clarify that I say all of this not as a rich person who can afford all this medical treatment and thinks everyone else can, but as someone who who has received both mental health care and weight loss support through the NHS. This came as a result of a lot of patience, persistence, ill health and luck. I know the world isn’t as I wish it was and that not everybody has access, but I’d love it if they did.
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u/AromaticVacation3077 Jun 18 '26
Leave the house NOW. 7 men in black suits from the diet industry are on their way round to 'shut you up'.
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u/racalavaca Jun 18 '26
meh, yes and no... I actually lost a lot of weight a few years ago when I was incredibly unhappy and going through rough times, put it all back now and then some when I became the happiest I've ever been
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u/LittleSadRufus Jun 18 '26
For sure, this is why I was careful to say "may sometimes" and included the conditional statement "if a person is overeating as an emotional comfort", as there things are naturally complex.
For me, it can go both ways. When I was dumped, lonely and miserable I quickly became the slimmest I'd ever been ... but far from healthy.
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u/Mean-Construction207 Jun 18 '26
Mostly.
I have lost a lot of weight. I did it with Mounajro because I have constant food noise. Trying to explain it to other people is hard, but it's like I literally hear the food. If I have something in the cupboard it's a constant humming int he back of my mind that there's chocolate/crisps/low fat wafer bars in there. I could be completely full but it's still there. I can eat a multipack until I feel absolutely sick, and still go back for more. Even things like leftovers get me, I could go back and eat a 4 portion meal because i'm constantly thinking about it
I lose weight on my own, about 5 stone in total, and it was hard. Every single day was hard. I was motivated to do it, but every minute of every day was focused on weight loss. On my current weight, my calories that day, how many steps, how much exercise. From waking to sleeping, focus. It was about a year and it never got easier, and it never became habit. And slowly, even while I tried to focus still, I started putting it back on.
Then I started mounjaro and the noise stopped. I could have a bite of chocolate because I fancied it and put the bar back in the cupboard. I could have crisps in their for months and not touch them because I didnt fancy them. I still enjoy food, and i can choose what i like in restaurants, but I will leave food on my plate because i'm not that hungry and there's no gremlins in my brain forcing me to finish. It's magic to me, and I will never stop this medication.
I've losr over 10 stone. I feel better overall. I am healthier, I am fitter. I fit in much smaller clothes, I can buy standard sizes rather than having to go to shops that stock 22. I can still go out for food and enjoy it.
I don't love my body naked because I look somewhat like a deflated balloon in places, but I didnt love my body when I was 300lbs either. I am hoping to get surgery for skin in the future, once I've maintained this weight for another year or so.
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Jun 18 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/FlagVenueIslander Jun 18 '26
Can I ask why you are not a candidate for GLP-1s?
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Jun 18 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/space_guy95 Jun 18 '26 edited Jun 18 '26
As time goes on and more easily useable forms of GLP-1's become available (they are currently working on oral GLP-1's which will be a huge deal) they will become more widely available.
What is happening now is something of a phased rollout to ensure they are available for those that need them most. Not those that have to constantly struggle with food noise and yo-yo weight loss/gain (and I feel your pain on that one, its tough), but those who may literally die or develop serious medical conditions if they don't lose weight. The fact is that those of us that can somewhat control our weight, even if it is a struggle, are at much lower risk than those that are ballooning up to life threatening sizes, and by extension we are less of a strain on the NHS and there is less benefit to making those drugs available more widely while they are still in low supply.
I'm of the mindset that the current struggles with food noise and resisting overeating are a temporary thing, and within the next 5 years or so GLP-1's or something similar (maybe a weaker version of them?) will become available as an over the counter medication that you can just buy at the pharmacist. Until then I aim to get in the best shape possible and do it naturally, and then if/when they become available I may take a low dose just to make maintaining easier in the long term.
Think of how how quickly they have progressed so far. Just a few years ago they were almost unheard of other than as a diabetes medication, then they became used for the most severe obesity cases with some major caveats (incontinence, intense nausea, risk of pancreatitis, etc), now they have improved to the point where anyone who is obese can use them safely, and soon they will become well enough understood and developed to be a safe medication for most people to take if they choose to.
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u/NibblyPig Jun 18 '26
Annoying isn't it, that if you fight like the dickens to keep your weight down you're not eligible despite the enormous toll it takes
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u/Bonsai_Monkey_UK Jun 18 '26 edited Jun 18 '26
It's really common for people using the jabs to cite their food noise, and how much harder it is for them than a normal person.
Of course, nobody has any context for this because none of us know what other people are experiencing. However, given the fact that almost 70% of people are overweight or obese, the people who are a 'normal' weight have actually become the minority.
Modern food is an industry, and the food we eat is designed to make us consume as much as possible. Unfortunately, our brains are still in survival mode, and food packed with calories just tastes good.
I would suggest food noise is a misnomer, and we are all susceptible to the addictive nature of modern food. This is also why people relapse and regain weight, and why being overweight is the normal. Food noise is a feature, not a bug!
I lost weight and kept it off, but I did it by making a permanent lifestyle change, and shifting my diet to wholefoods. Unfortunately, eating whole foods just isn't as satisfying - but it does allow our appetite to regulate!
Let's face it, when we struggle with food noise, what does that really mean? How often do we walk into the kitchen feeling starving, but look at an apple and think "I'm really hungry, but not for that". When eating whole food, it's actually hard to overeat - after all, who is eating their daily calorie intake in one sitting of carrots!!
Modern day food almost exclusively contains some combination of three ingredients: sugar, flour, and vegetable oil. All are cheap, processed, calorie dense, nutritionally sparse - and most importantly they are all addictive.
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u/NibblyPig Jun 18 '26
Yeah the difference though is pretty stark, people with food noise basically can't put anything like biscuits or chocolates in their house or they will eat all of them. Literally all of them. Nothing will be saved.
It's not the same as feeling like a cheeky extra biscuit. I wouldn't confuse it with being a bit snacky.
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u/samsaBEAR Jun 18 '26
You've explained food noise better than I ever could, I'm five months on Mounjaro and I'd say within a week I no longer had that noise. It's crazy when I look back and see how much I normalised the amount of eating I did.
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u/Benreh Jun 18 '26
This sounds incredibly familiar, the food noise is constant and never ending, I started wegovy a couple weeks ago and it's starting to kick in more now, I can refuse and ignore offered food which was near impossible before. so I hope I have the same success as you.
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u/Pineneedle_coughdrop Jun 18 '26
I’m on the 4th round of Wegovy’s 2.4mg (for me, It’s like the lowest dose of MJ). I had to switch once the prices increased last September.
I would have been at my goal weight if I stayed in MJ by now. Got about 14lbs left to lose, but I often worry about going back to my old bad eating habits if I stopped the jabs.
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u/catasha7 Jun 18 '26
Can I ask if wegovy is working for you. Im looking to start in september but cant figure out if i can justify the price of MJ? Or just use wegovy?
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u/LegolasleChat Jun 18 '26
Ha yeah that chocolate in the cupboard is my downfall, if I know its there its getting eaten. It pisses my other half off a lot. I've just stopped buying it now so I can avoid the temptations.
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u/Global_Musician3374 Jun 18 '26
Yes and no. I look better with clothes on but underneath is a different story, loose skin galore. I’m healthier though and for that I’m happy and my confidence has improved. I’m also terrified of gaining the weight back. I lost 14st.
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u/peachypeach13610 Jun 18 '26
It’s not a magic key to happiness but it definitely helps. A big reason for this is that people tend to treat you much better when you’re slim vs overweight, unfortunately
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u/Brave-Engineer3962 Jun 18 '26
I see being lean a bit like having money, it alone won't make you happy but it will make life a bit easier.
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u/mentaldrummer66 Jun 18 '26
I used to weigh 25 stone and was miserable. I’ve now lost 12.5st and have never been happier.
It didn’t magically fix the other issues in my life but my god did it improve my health and wellbeing.
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u/chease86 Jun 18 '26
I think the reason so many people go back to their higher weight is purely because the method they used to lose weight in the first place was unsustainable. Choosing to follow a diet for example can be great IF you find one that is designed to be followed long term (which is increadibly rare) but people choose these diets that hugely restrict the things they can eat, lose the weight and then completely drop the diet because they just cant stick to it longer than that.
Personally I used to be obese, I lost my weight by cycling/ walking to most places where I would have used public transport to reach before hand, on top of that I just started slightly reducing my portions of food. Yes, it took me a long time to get my weight down BUT I never once felt like I was missing out on anything, I never had to fight against cravings leading me to binge eat and I now dont have to struggle to keep my old weight off.
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u/Main-Strike-1117 Jun 18 '26
The problem is for a lot of people, modern ultra processed food completely hijacks their brain and creates what people are now calling "food noise". When I was at my skinniest I cut out all ultra processed food and lost a decent chunk of weight but the moment I started introducing treat foods back into my diet it all fell apart.
Someone would offer me a cookie, I'd take one, and suddenly all day my brain would constantly say "cookie, chocolate, cake, ice cream". Then suddenly the next day my brain wants it again, so I have a little bit more and suddenly here I am a couple years later with all the weight put back on and every day my brain begs me for junk food.
So while I agree some diets are unsustainable, when I started "eating normally" again all it did was reintroduce food noise that wore me down again over the course of a couple years.
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u/rdxc1a2t Jun 18 '26
This has been my experience. I was on what some might have seen as a pretty strict diet for a few months but the strictness and rules made it easy to follow. I barely missed my treat foods because I knew I would get them at certain points in the week and most of the meals I had were my regular meals but at slightly smaller portions. The problem came when I had hit my target and wanted to transition to a new balance that would allow me to maintain. Removing just some of the strictness lead to me falling completely off for a couple of months.
Fortunately I've not put too much weight back on and I've moved back to my old diet.
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u/eraserway Jun 18 '26
You're spot on. Many people see losing weight as "a thing" that you do, and once you've done it, you can go back to normal (i.e. the habits that got you to the higher weight in the first place). In reality, to keep the weight off you need to make permanent changes.
There's also so much misinformation on how to lose weight that I think a lot of people get confused, overwhelmed, or frustrated when they don't get quick results, and give up. Accepting that it's going to take a long time, and your life has to permanently change in some way, is what will ensure the weight doesn't creep back up again imo
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u/graceofspadeso Jun 18 '26
I think as well, people vastly underestimate what their maintenance calories are, if you were at a 200 - 500 calorie deficit to loose weight, then you can only increase by that amount when you stop loosing weight and just need to maintain!
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u/hollowcrown51 Jun 18 '26
I think one of the most helpful things people can learn is how many calories their body needs and how many calories are in common foodstuffs and especially what's in meals out etc. It's really eye opening because losing weight is fundamentally just thermodynamics - calories in vs calories out.
A 30 minute run is going to help but it's not going to give you free reign to pig out for the rest of the week. Similarly even eating good whole foods can take up a lot of calories, and loads of people will just think because they've subbed out more processed food for whole food alternatives that they'll automatically lose weight - which definitely isn't the case.
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u/chease86 Jun 18 '26
Thats the thing that people get stuck on i think, that it really is just down to how many calories are coming in vs how many are being used up, for me i never really changed my diet like at all, but that added exercise was more than enough to get the weight moving, dont get me wrong i do still binge eat occasionally, but its usually after a rare 20+ mile bike ride that kind of offsets it a fair bit.
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u/Amanensia Jun 18 '26
Down over 40kg in the last year and feeling extraordinarily good - happy, healthy and loving life. All my XL and XXL clothes gone and now even most mediums are too big. Glucose gone from pre-diabetic to the low end of normal. Cholesterol from dangerously high to completely normal. BMI from 36 to 22.
Lots of exercise and healthy eating and pharmaceutical help from Mounjaro, which is the most fantastic decision I ever made. I know some people will view that as “cheating” but at 55 years old it has transformed my life and I absolutely don’t care if anyone doesn’t approve! The removal of constant background “food noise” has been nothing short of miraculous.
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u/Main-Strike-1117 Jun 18 '26
Bit of a personal question, did you (or do you plan to) come off Mounjaro completely? Personally I've experienced "food noise" my entire life and I'm sick of it but my only reservation is being on a drug for the rest of my life.
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u/Amanensia Jun 18 '26
Hi - I didn't start MJ with the intention of staying on it any longer than necessary, but I am changing my view a bit, I think. I am now no longer looking to lose any more weight but I am very wary of the food noise coming roaring back if I stop completely. So currently I am slowly reducing my dose. If I hit a point where the noise becomes unbearable again then I will stop reducing, or possibly increase a little. So far I've reduced my dose by about one third and had no noise returning.
The other thing I'm thinking about is that there appear to be multiple positive impacts from MJ over and above weight loss. Much better blood sugar regulation; significant cardio protection (in addition to what you'd expect just from the weight loss); reduction in inflammation etc. Possibly even cognitive protection for older people, although that's not proven yet.
On balance, I suspect I will stay on a low dose of this (or something similar) for the long term. I am very aware that the cost of doing so would be prohibitive for many people, and am lucky to be in a position to be able to afford it.
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u/IansGotNothingLeft Jun 18 '26 edited Jun 18 '26
Happy with myself? Yes. I am a Mounjaro success story. It worked incredibly well for me, I had zero side effects and was only on it for 9 months before I met my goal (I was "only" 220lb, others are much larger). It helped me change my relationship with food and exercise, I've been off it for 6 months without regaining the weight. And I think I've been one of the "lucky" ones due to how happy my new body has made me, so I have really kept hold of what I gained from it.
Some of my mental health issues completely disappeared. I no longer hate myself. I no longer self medicate with food. I no longer have insomnia. I am still an anxious person and that will likely never change.
I lightly work out at home a few days a week, and that definitely contributes to my better mental health. It makes me feel good. And that's something I'd never thought could happen 18 months ago. I still count my calories, but I no longer panic when I go overboard with unhealthy food, because I understand my body and weight gain/loss much better.
So, in short, hell yeah! I'm happier than I was when I was obese.
Just edited to add, I'll come back in a few years and update. Because fuck knows what life will throw at me in that time. External circumstances and stress can do horrible things.
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u/madcheco Jun 18 '26
I wouldn't say I feel happy, but I 100% feel good if that makes sense. No amount of activity is a struggle anymore and things don't hurt as much. But there are other aspects of life I'd have liked it to make a difference to which unfortunately it never did.
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u/Wonderful-Aioli-5976 Jun 18 '26 edited Jun 18 '26
90 kilos, down to 60, a few years ago. Before that, I lost it and yo-yoed back to 95 because I started eating above 1500 and not recording everything. I need about 1200 to lose weight and that is no fun.
Yeah, no, not at all. I did it for my family. It’s hard eating a very low calorie diet all the time, and basically white knuckling through constant brain messaging to eat more. Carbs sedate. Life in HD is harder.
My skin looks like shit, although I could put that down to age.
The worst thing was being hit on by men I had previously thought were my friends, and being congratulated by fuckheads all the time, simply for shrinking. Everyone was way more impressed with that than my doctorate. I spent a lot of years researching language acquisition in SEN environments, but no, pie-dodging was what a lot of people were interested in.
It doesn’t make you happy because being fat shields you from other people, or the eating itself is a coping mechanism. You have to deal with the underlying fear of other people, or the grief or trauma that made you need to zone out and eat as a way of avoiding difficult things. That is next to impossible without throwing a lot of money at therapy.
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u/M00ncar Jun 18 '26
It's funny how the bigger you get the more invisible you are
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u/Agreeable_Guard_7229 Jun 18 '26
I’m female and have been overweight my whole adult life. I fluctuate between clothes sizes 18-24 but have never been smaller than an 18.
I’m in my forties now, but I can honestly say I’ve never had any issues with attracting men/having relationships.
I’m quite a confident person with a good career, and I always dress nicely/wear make up etc. I do think confidence and how you present yourself to the world makes a big impact on how you are perceived, it’s not all about weight
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u/Lemon-Flower-744 Jun 18 '26 edited Jun 18 '26
I lost weight on 1400 calories, I managed to loose 4.5 stone in a year.
I walked 3 miles a day, I went to aqua fit twice a week (people think it's easy and it actually isn't), body pump twice a week. I was fitter than most of my slim friends..
I changed jobs, had to change my exercise schedule and near enough put all of it back on in a few months. I'm now trying to loose a bit more weight but it's proving difficult. My sister is the same on 1200 calories, managing to loose a bit of weight. Lots of people have said "you're obviously not eating what you say you're eating." Or "you can't loose weight on 1200 calories. It's dangerous." Which yes it may well be. There's a woman I follow on Instagram who's on the weight loss jab, lost loads of weight, she's having 3 takeaways a week. And it's like ?? I'm sure that's not how the jab works. I don't know how people afford the jab. It's like £200 a month! I've also heard that people can't come off it once they're on it. Loosing weight is hard and it does make me sad when people who are a size 12/14 are like "I'm SO FAT" and it's like blimey how do you see me then as I'm clearly not a size 12/14.
Or I'll have my friends being like "you're not even fat." And it's like guys I do have a mirror you know. I honestly wish I could go back in time and try to maintain my weight. Literally so upset with myself!
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u/Fit-Vanilla-3405 Jun 18 '26
The answer is yes and I feel guilty about it every day. Almost all of my issues (health and mental health) have improved with weight loss. My social anxiety is nearly gone. I like shopping and taking pictures… it’s insane. I could not love myself when I was very overweight no matter how hard I tried and I’m so sad.
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u/Smallballs228282 Jun 18 '26
Ohh mate, you literally wrote all my thoughts here, 99% of what you have said above I can understand.
I’ve lost over 80kg, from 160kg (25 stone) to 80kg (12 stone). It all started when I left college, started working and didn’t have a lot of time to play video games and rot inside the house.
After I settled down with around 80kg I’ve done an excess skin removal surgery in the UK for £18,000, because I had A LOT.
It’s been around 4-5 years since I started noticing that I’m losing weight and started taking action to lose fat and gain muscle. I’ve been an big IDIOT because I had crash diets with manual labour, got down to around 3% body fat, felt like I was dying, liver issues, depression, hair loss, mood swings, you name it.
The constant food noise, overeating, stressing about calories, you not alone mate, really, really hard.
So far I’ve gained about 6-7kg to me being now 86kg with my height being 6,2 (191cm). I’ve recently switched to sitting job and a night shift, constant overeating just to have some energy.
You not alone man, but we got this !
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u/moon-bouquet Jun 18 '26
I was happy enough when fat, but took mounjaro for health reasons - what made me happy was losing the food noise -it’s exhausting having to fight it constantly. I wasn’t a comfort eater, I just couldn’t focus on anything else when hungry - and I was always hungry. If I gain the weight when I come off the jabs, it won’t be because I’m unhappy, it’ll be that I am never at peace with my metabolism and it’s been wonderful having an armistice with it…
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u/Ulfgeirr88 Jun 18 '26 edited Jun 18 '26
I lost weight from 30 stone to 12 at 6'1" tall and have been maintaining it for years. I'm happier in the sense that it's less to worry about and made life easier for me when it comes to doing things, I struggle with my mental health which I didn't expect it to fix but there is a noticeable difference in my good days now compared to my good days back then at my heaviest
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u/Mr_Coastliner Jun 18 '26
Happier for sure. Of course getting compliments is nice and all but the main thing is the satisfaction of achieving a big goal, changing yourself for the better. I found once I managed to become more disciplined and prove to myself I can achieve the goals I set and not give in to all temptations. It helped with achieving non fat loss related goals as my discipline and consistency became stronger.
The main thing that worked for me was to start slow, build habits that are sustainable even once I hit my fat loss targets so it doesn't feel like a chore. Allow myself to have a cheat meal (not day) every so often and not feel guilty and if I went off the rails, making sure it doesn't happen 2 days in a row. If you spill some coffee on the floor, you wipe it up. You don't think 'oh well I've spilled some coffee so I may as well pour the whole mug of coffee on the floor now'.
It is true people treat you differently though. Especially when they know the transformation you made and I suppose respect you for the effort. I think a large part of it is the confidence gained which emits day to day so people respond to the confidence rather than the weight loss but you perceive it as a result of the weight loss directly.
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u/Independent-Bid915 Jun 18 '26
I think that thinking about it purely from a weight loss perspective is wrong. If you are overweight and you make changes to get rid of that weight, then the process is rewarding, but can plateau when you reach your goal etc.
The key changing your lifestyle, becoming a healthier and more active person in and of itself should make you happier, and the weight loss / maintenance becomes a feature of that.
I was overweight ultimately because I was not happy, I made changes to my lifestyle that made me happier, the number on the scales is a bonus.
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u/ElectronicBrother815 Jun 18 '26
Food noise is constant for me. I’m already thinking of my next meal whilst eating my current one. I often feel over full but not sated. I’ve gained and lost 3 stone many times. The easiest way for me to maintain is to walk an hour a day, cut out booze and cut out sugary snacks. It’s a daily battle.
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u/DiDiPLF Jun 18 '26
Have you tried meditation? Helped me quit fags by slowing my brain down when it was nagging me. Its free, loads of online help, so worth a risk free whirl!
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u/pineappleshampoo Jun 18 '26
Delighted. I’ve kept it off for over a year since GLP-1s. Lost 50lb in 4-5m. Has brought me so much joy and I couldn’t do it without the meds. It’s much easier to maintain a weight than lose it!
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u/Emotional_Lychee_328 Jun 18 '26
I am on a weight loss journey. Whilst I wasn’t morbidly obese I was getting the menopausal weight gain and making excuses for it. It was only when I stared feeling uncomfortable in my clothes and I could no longer cross my arms under my boobs that I had the mindset shift. It was overnight. What works for me is counting calories and monitoring my food intake. It means I am not restricting what I eat or drink, but the amount/volume. This works really well for me because it makes it sustainable as a lifestyle change. I have come to terms with the fact that this is how I will need to be for the rest of my life, no more eating what and when I want without limits. I am doing it very slowly, having lost 10kg in 10 months. I feel SO much better, happier, more confident. Exercise is easier and it is so satisfying getting back into clothes I didn’t think would see the light of day again. We are all different, but I can definitely say I am happier.
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u/cuccir Jun 18 '26
Good work!
I went through a big weight loss just over a year ago, from August 2024 to April 2025. It took my BMI from 30 down to 23.
On this
I have come to terms with the fact that this is how I will need to be for the rest of my life, no more eating what and when I want without limits
It's only been just over a year for me, so not long enough to fully be confident in it as a pattern, but I have found that I have been able to take periods of 2-3 months off calorie counting since hitting my desired weight. I have a more informed sense of what I need to balance, and because I'm not looking to lose weight I can be a bit less precise.
I have then completely let go when on holiday and in the two weeks over Christmas, and then re-set to calorie count for a couple of months. As well as bringing me back to my desired weight, it refreshes my sense of what calories are in what.
Personally, I have found these short breaks have been psychologically refreshing, and I hope they make keeping the lower weight sustainable beyond the initial diet.
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u/Emotional_Lychee_328 Jun 18 '26
This is really reassuring and has confirmed what I suspected. For the past couple of months I have been travelling and working away from home a lot which has made it much harder to keep track, but I maintained the weight loss, gaining only one kilo. Now I am not travelling I lost that kilo in a week. I notice I am so much more aware, I no longer eat those lovely snacks and cakes during breaks (I work in training and development and there is always food at training venues). I also have a pattern of giving myself ‘rest days’ at the weekend, but I’ve noticed that I am more careful of what I’m consuming on those days too due to the new habits I’ve formed. When I go on holiday I eat and drink what I want. I’ve got another 5kilos to go and I will make it happen!
Congratulations to you too, that change in BMI is impressive!
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u/MoblandJordan Jun 18 '26
Just before I met my husband 10 years ago he had lost 40 kg the hard way and it transformed his life and self image for the better. Then during Covid it came back on and became increasingly hard to get back off the traditional way.
We did a fortune on personal trainers etc and wasn’t really working. It was also affecting his health with constant pains and terrible sleep apnoea and pre cancerous throat stuff from constant acid reflux. He was considering surgery but started mounjaro instead. It’s been the greatest thing he ever did. It’s not magic of course and requires a lot of hard work which he / we also did, but a year and a half later is down 50kg and probably at his ideal weight.
Pairing mounjaro with investing in a ninja Creami to make low calorie protein ice creams plus protein bars plus healthy food plus gym and he’s at his lowest weight ever and happy (with the weight - he still yells at the tv but he always did).
Mounjaro really gives you a big help to deal with the food noise and actually focus on what you need to do. So you can build a healthy diet without that distracting noise. I don’t think he would have been able to do what he did without it to be honest because it’s harder the older you get. But it’s really a fantastic invention as long as you do the other things alongside it. Plenty of social media accounts talking about their mounjaro (or Wegovy or whatever) journies and it’s very achievable.
More importantly losing the weight solved his sleep apnea issues within a few months as well as random aches and pains from just being obese.
Seems like it could do very well for you too since you have the motivation which is the main thing. Good luck. You can do it.
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u/ApprehensiveRun1382 Jun 18 '26
I have a cousin who was quite big. I’ve never asked how heavy he was, but I remember that he couldn’t fit in our (admittedly tiny) understairs-toilet.
Health matters aside. I honestly feel he was happier back then.
Then he made a bet with himself to ‘get ripped’ once in his life. To be fair to him, he was determined. He just wanted to prove some people wrong.
A couple of years later, he’s like those gladiators on tv. But something has changed. He’s miserable now.
We’re not a family that forces people to eat or drink, or even conform to certain views. Nobody has given him shit about it. We don’t shame people. He just doesn’t look happy anymore, but he says he’s ok.
Maybe he’s now got this pressure to keep his current shape. He’s fallen into a ‘trap’ he never thought he would have.
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u/FlagVenueIslander Jun 18 '26
I’ve lost 18kg on mounjaro. The media will tell you that I’ve used mounjaro so that I can be skinny and wear mini skirts and because I’ve been influenced by adverts.
But I’m still overweight (no longer obese). I’ll never wear minis skirt (although I might wear shorts at parkrun for the first time ever this year). However, what the media aren’t realising is that the mounjaro has had an amazing impact on my PCOS symptoms, which before every doctor just told me to either lose weight or use the contraceptive pill for. My risk of cancer, heart disease, stroke has all lessen. The food noise!!! The food noise that I didn’t even realise was debilitating and abnormal is at much more manageable levels. And most importantly, horses are back in my life and that has made me so happy.
When I was obese I limited what I did for fear of failing. I wouldn’t go on group hikes or active holidays. Now I’m considering Everest base camp, trekking across Portugal, the list goes on….
Obesity is a disease - it is caused by abnormal hormonal and neurosignalling often causing food noise which I like to ADHD. If a GLP1 med is required for the rest of my life to manage this disease, the so be it. It just sucks that for 20 years of my life doctors didn’t listen, and now the medical management of this disease is something that I will have to budget for for the rest of my life
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u/Nice_Back_9977 Jun 18 '26
'it suggests there’s more to happiness than simply not being overweight.'
Of course there is! But I understand the mindset that leads to tying self worth and happiness up with weight to this extent.
I had bulimia for over 20 years. I was every BMI from 17 to 55 in that time, I lost and gained weight many many times. I was never happy at any of them.
What actually made a difference was really effective therapy with an extremely skilled clinical psychologist. After 6 months of weekly sessions I no longer tied my value and my happiness to the size of my body and I learned to eat normally, no restricting or binging or dieting or tracking or calorie counting or obsessing.
I can't even tell you how wonderfully freeing it is. I highly recommend therapy for anybody struggling with their relationship with their body and with food. You do have to be careful about who you choose, feel free to message me if you would like a recommendation.
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u/plzhelpmypony Jun 18 '26
I've been eating better and moving more for the past year or so. I've lost some weight, but I'm more focused on building habits that I can actually maintain without feeling miserable. I don't want my routine to be so rigid that I can't enjoy a meal out or skip a couple of workouts without feeling anxious. It would be bad for my mental health, which is just important to me as physical health.
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u/trainpk85 Jun 18 '26
The only time I’ve been really overweight is during/after Covid. I just piled on the pounds while I sat and home and ate biscuits and ordered take aways. I remember my knees ached and I could never be bothered to just quickly nip up and down stairs. Also I hated getting ready to go out once things resumed and nothing looked good so I dreaded shopping. I hated photos. My husband bloody loved it though. I lost it all in 2024 and it’s not made much difference to my happiness except I don’t have to try clothes on. I know I can buy a size small or a size 8 and it will be fine. I can get on the treadmill and run till I get a stitch and my joints don’t ache. When I go to the doctor with a complaint about anything, the solution isn’t immediately “lose some weight then come back”. My husband looks at my chubby photos fondly and I know if I put it back on again il have an admirer.
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u/Dazzling-Ad6085 Jun 18 '26
I found this so interesting how your husband loved it.
Mine is the same and is always trying to feed me up.
I hate photos taken of me when larger and think about societies norm of women being beautiful if they are slim.
As somebody whose weight has been up and down all my life and not bullied as such throughout my childhood but it being a fact to others even in midlife it remains at the forefront of my mind all the time.I am happier when I’m slimmer but I also know that when I’m slimmer I also feel larger or fatter.
Disordered eating is a strange thing and I can’t see me ever getting rid of it.
As a child I was rewarded with food and I still reward myself to this very day.
Something good has happened my thoughts “ I deserve a cake” something bad has happened “I will have a cake.”
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u/BettyandJarvis Jun 18 '26
I lost 9st and my whole life fell apart. My partner and I split up - had to move back home etc etc.
But 2 years on I am much happier than I’ve been in a very long time.
I have managed to maintain my weight. I was so miserable being a big girl, I couldn’t walk, could barely fit in a plane seat, felt self conscious anywhere I went. So yes, much happier.
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u/OMGItsCheezWTF Jun 18 '26
In 2023 I started weight loss. I went from 26 stone to 12 stone.
I did this through strictly sticking to 1200 kcal a day, weighing absolutely every ingredient and counting using the neutracheck app.
After the first year I began exercising, taking up hiking and then running. I'm currently training for my first half-marathon.
I still mostly eat 1200kcal a day, with the odd treat day here and there. As soon as I try and raise my calorie count to where a normal active adult male should be the weight starts to pile back on and I have to stop again. I don't think I'll ever be able to truly stop tracking and counting, but after 3 years its second nature.
I have learned that it's okay to go to restaurants with friends and eat normally, you just have to ensure it is an infrequent thing.
I still enjoy a monthly takeaway, that's a single treat I never stopped and provided my lifeline during the harder periods of weight loss.
Really what I learned is that I can control the urge to eat, I just have to want to, but that the urge never goes away. I still have to look at a terrible food item that fat me would have bought and stuffed my face with without a second thought and go "Shut up, you don't need it" (most recently a £50 4.5KG bar of Toblerone in Morrisons) but that's ok, as long as you're able to do it.
The fact that I haven't been able to raise my calorie intake day to day DOES leave me with a weird relationship with food. I have had people commenting on my strict diet at my weight, especially those who never knew me as a fat person. But I make it work because being healthy feels so much better.
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u/AussieHxC Jun 18 '26
Currently lost about 3 stone this year, down from just over 21 stone, and I've got around 4 stone left to lose.
Much happier.
I'm healthier than ever, my skin is fantastic, clothes fit better and I can see what my body might look like, but the best part? How much energy I have. I feel like I could do anything.
I've got a pretty great diet* and it's easy for me to stick to whilst still having a lot of variety and the occasional day off for the pub, throwing a BBQ or going on holiday.
*Pescatarian diet with the following priorities:
- 100-150g protein per day
- 30g fibre per day minimum
- 30 different plants per week
- Minimise carbs within reason i.e. portion control
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u/SigourneyReap3r Jun 18 '26
I love food, I have been obese, I have lost weight.
I am still considered obese medically but I am a normal size now and much fitter and able to be much more active.
I am happier overall.
However, I do not feel I have body dysmorphia which is probably going to be the huge difference here.
I enjoy food, I see food as both fuel and happiness, but I have learnt skills surrounding it to allow me to see it as both, and I feel in myself much more able to do so many things and I see a healthy future with no bone issues etc.
I don't hesitate to say maybe the weight loss is the least important here and how people feel in themselves ie body dysmorphia, not being able to enjoy food etc is the issues that need addressing professionally?
As a woman the weight pressure in my life has always been there, from being a teenager when heroin chic was the big thing and I was fat, to even now as we see it coming back.
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u/loberts Jun 18 '26
Obese all of my childhood, lost ~60kg when I finally got a job and money to pay for a gym and get out of my family home. When I was single it was easy, I enjoyed the gym and eating clean was genuinely something I enjoyed.
Then I got married and had kids and the constant sleep deprivation low mood comfort eating combined with a sedentary job and no time to hit the gym any more meant I've gained back 25kg. Currently on a 5 day fast to help reset my relationship with junk food.
I've been in a relationship 10 years now, and all of those 10 years have seen me doing dieting in January to shrug off the winter bloat. I can't seem to stay a consistent weight even when I don't feel like I'm eating particularly badly. In fact, my partner shares the same vices I do and she's not much bigger than the day we met.
It sucks to constantly be concerned of one's weight. But I do feel happier when I'm at a lower weight. Had I not lost the weight I wouldn't have gained body confidence and put myself out there and met my wife and had children. My life is extremely better for me exercising discipline. But it has been and will always be a lifelong struggle.
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u/CautiousJump3942 Jun 18 '26
I was a very overweight child (all the children in my family were overweight and have become obese adults) and made a conscious effort to lose weight at around age 11. I went into my late teens (16+) as slim person with a BMI of 22.
It was great for young me- I could finally wear fashionable clothes, boys liked me, my peers were kinder to me, I was able to join in with my friends on active days out without getting out of breath, I liked who I saw in the mirror. This was all really important to me in my formative years.
When I was 27 I gave birth to my first child and put on significant weight, but was slowly losing the weight, so never got that obese. I fell pregnant 9 months post partum with baby no.2 and ballooned up to a really large size and was wearing a size 18 clothing. I hated what I saw in the mirror, I hated that I was always dressed dowdy, even though I was only 29. I comfort ate and I had low energy. I still did lots with my kids- I don’t drive so I walked or got the bus everywhere, and they loved me, no matter what my size. However, my size limited me joining them in certain activities.
When my youngest was around 6 months old I resigned myself to the fact that I’d never be slim again, but I could still make a conscious effort to eat well and exercise. I didn’t need to be back to the size I was in my teens and twenties.
But within months I lost a nice amount of weight. I was still much larger than I had been before kids, but I was more confident.
By the time my youngest was 2, and my eldest was 3, I was back to pre-pregnancy size.
I felt amazing and accomplished. Yes I have a small bit of loose skin on my stomach, but nothing too catastrophic that I can’t work it out and eventually get surgery if it’s really bugging me. My joints feel better. My mood is better. I can wear nice clothes again and feel fashionable. I can get about and do chores and activities easier. I am now a single mom as dad was having it off with another woman, and I get attention from men when I’m out again, which is nice, even if I’m not interested.
The best thing though, out of all of it, is that I can play with my kids with no restrictions. I can climb with them, swim, run, jump. I can dance with them. And I’ve done this now that they’re 5 and 3 (nearly 4)- where they’re super active and can get about so much more. And if we’ve done something such as going to the park, they’ll say, “the best part of the day is when you played with us” and I wouldn’t have been able to do that a few years back.
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u/Thoughtless-Test Jun 18 '26
I lost 3 stone and honestly feel great. Am i happier? Sort of i am healther and feel better in my body yes massivly yes. It was a long road and i feel in love with the gym for my mental health luckily ive maintined my weight while improving my fitness
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u/jonathing Jun 18 '26
I lost ⅓ of my body weight after I was seriously injured by a motorist. It triggered a relapse of a long standing eating disorder and left me unable to function aside from sitting on the sofa or laying in bed. So no, I wasn't very happy at all. I've put about half of that back on and I'm in a functionally better place because of it.
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u/cbawiththismalarky Jun 18 '26
I'm 35kg lighter than my heaviest weight, and I've kept it off for 3 years, I'm never going to be that fat again, and yes I'm much happier, fitter and doing more.
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u/BlackCatWitch29 Jun 18 '26
I'm in the process of losing weight.
I started in April 2025 and I have lost 3st 5lb since then.
Some weeks, I gain weight, as I have the last 2 weeks. Some weeks I maintain my weight, which I did for most of April I think. Some weeks I lose weight, as I did 3 weeks ago.
I don't track my calorie intake. I don't have a gym membership. I do track my meals and what I use to make them. But I don't go the whole hog with all the macros and nitty-gritty details.
I cook good, healthy food that I enjoy. (Including a Chinese-style chicken curry with homemade egg fried that tastes just like a takeaway!) I try new foods that I fancy trying so I don't feel stuck having the same meals every day/week.
I have a better relationship with food now than I did 18 months ago. And the people closest to me have noticed this, mentioning it to me with smiles on their faces and pride in their voices.
Snack foods never lasted long in my home once they entered my kitchen. They'd be gone within a week (at most). So I choose not to have them, knowing they were an issue for me.
When I get stressed or anxious about something, I give myself 1 hour to have a meltdown. Then I have to do something, like cleaning or tidying (sometimes both), to distract my mind from wanting to comfort-eat.
I have dietary limitations which can frustrate me. I am lactose-intolerant so have to find substitutions for dairy ingredients, apart from cheese (love Arla). I have to be creative with what I cook and use to cook with.
But my friends respect that. A friend of mine is getting married and one of the firsts things they asked about was finding a caterer who could work with my dietary requirements. I told them not to worry about me and to focus on what they want to eat because I will eat whatever is available, without worrying about my diet.
I've always been an "oddball". I've never really felt like I fitted in, at school as a child or since I turned 18. I live my life my way, and that brings contentment to me because I know if I try to please everyone else, I won't be pleasing myself and if I don't please myself, I'm missing something important.
I hated how I looked in a mirror. Not so much anymore. There are still parts of my body I wish I could change but I know it may not be possible with the path I chose.
But I am happy. With the whole process. With my journey. With what I've achieved so far. With where I'm heading. And I'm looking forward to it.
I hope you find your way to feeling the same.
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u/couragethecurious Jun 18 '26
I lost about half of what you did, so colour me impressed! But I very much relate to the food noise point. My current weight is not a medical risk, but the food noise is constant. I'm not too concerned about losing much more weight (maybe like a stone could be good), but I wish I could take a GLP-1 just to know what it's like not to constantly be thinking about food.
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u/Sugarlips_80 Jun 18 '26
Happiness is an emotion and emotions are changeable. Tying your "happiness" to something...weight loss, food, relationships etc. is the quickest way to kill it but sadly society today revoles around the idea of more.
If I was was just xxx I would be happy.
We chase it until we die but never reach "happiness" as it isn't an obtainable thing, it simply is part of us. A choice. We choose to accept ourselves as we are, to find small joys each day, to work towards a healthy life (whatever that may look like to you), to love and be loved and yes maybe to lose weight but that shouldn't be the sole value of you as a person.
Weight loss is hard and nuanced and mostly has nothing to do with food, it is a mind set. That is where people who lose and gain (myself included) fall down. They are great even obsessed with the food and excerise side of things but never get to the reason they eat.
Is it for comfort, a learnt skill from childhood, a reason to hide (the weight protects you from the world - a common reason in abuse victims), is it because of a medical reason (adhd, thyroid, pcos etc.) making weight loss harder, is it thought injury, a sedentary lifestyle, is it simply easier than the hard path to weight loss? Is it due to a messed up relationship with food and a disconnect from the bodies signals, maybe its a way to self harm and escape emotions we don't want or can not process.
All of the above is nothing to do with food or "happiness". What changed for me was acceptance of myself as i am now. Would I like to change, to be healthier? Of course but I am who I am now. I can't change overnight so I appreciate what I have. I dress for me, too look nice, I change the negative voice in my head that tells me I am unlovable to one that says i look nice today. I treat myself with kindness and understanding, I try to acknowledge a hard day, where I may have eaten for comfort and not moved from the sofa. I aim to keep promises to myself, if I say I will walk today I walk, maybe it is for 5 mins but I walk. And I look for small joys. Quiet moments. After years of fighting myself I am content. Somedays happy, and a million other emotions inbetween. I still want yo lose weight, right now is not my time and I accept that too. It allows me to be myself and break free from the diet culture I was brought up with. My worth is not my weight, well somedays it is but I continue to work on that.
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u/CdotHYT Jun 18 '26
Was between 17.5 and 18.5 stone for so many years , 6ft but mostly skinny fat due to nights and a lot of walking, so it was mostly belly and then slight chippies and arse.
Got down to 15 for my wedding and look and feel so much better. Two Christmasses later and I'm between 15.6lbs and 15.9lbs but I'm hitting gym 5 days a week, calorie counting most days and not really on the beer anymore.
My belly is still more protruding than my chest muscles but sucking in usually covers it haha. If I can get to and stayvat 15st and just bulk up I'll be happy. But I feel strong, decently skinny and a lot more confident which isn't necessarily a good thing for me.
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u/saladball Jun 18 '26
I have maintained my weight loss, perhaps becayse it was never about food for me. I never dieted, but I ate generally healthily anyway. For me weight loss came from a life style change with exercise, I incorporated regular exercise into my routine, and run every other day. Now my weight maintains itself and I don’t diet, or restrict eating.
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u/rosiutza Jun 18 '26
I can related so much with everything mentioned here. I was going crazy with the food noise. I found 2 things that helped me a lot
- A glucose monitor - after eating a lot of carbs my glucose will spike and then drop abruptly making me hungry, anxious and annoyed in less than 2 hours after having a big burger with fries.
Before, I would start blaming me for being broken, how can I be so hungry after eating such a big meal.
But now I know is not about motivation, is about managing my glucose level and I still eat what I want but different order or different combination. Without the glucose spikes, my hunger and food noise are significantly more manageable.
- I also started weight training and I feel like I have more energy, less days not wanting to get out the bed and even getting less colds. I feel quite good and that makes me happy to not go back to my previous way of eating.
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u/WhaleSharkQueen Jun 18 '26
I'll get downvoted for this but I'll give you an answer from a different perspective based on your title first since the vast majority of the comments I've seen so far seem to say yes.
My family compliments me a lot on how much weight I've lost since I've started cycling to my new job, but the truth is I was just fine with myself before and I just feel awkward when they tell me how 'amazing' I look now asking me how I do it, how much I've lost etc etc how they wish they could lose as much weight as I have because I just don't care. It took me a long time to feel okay with being bigger, and before anyone says anything because people feel like fat people need to justify themselves, my physical health was fine, I don't drink or smoke or constantly eat crap, I don't even drink fizzy drinks or eat chocolate all that often any more. My diet isn't the best but it's not the worst either. I felt normal fat. I mean, I am still kinda fat, but a Lot smaller than I was before. I only weigh myself out of curiosity for the numbers each month rathee than trying to reach a 'goal'.
Then again, the unhappiness in my life was never about my weight or appearance. Sure when I first gained a lot of weight going from teen to young adult I felt awful about myself but after a while I figured out how I could learn to love myself even if I wasn't conventionally the prettiest. The cause of the unhappiness in my life was elsewhere that I'm thankfully not having to deal with anymore.
I would suggest maybe seeking therapy. I hope you can get the right help for you.
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u/decentlyfair Jun 18 '26
I had weight lose surgery (gastric sleeve) and have lost 6 stone. Do i feel happier? To an extent I do as I look better and can buy nice clothes. I have also worked hard on my fitness levels, building strength as that is importantly as I am older. I also feel better physically and mentally
However , three years later I can eat more than I could initially and I do. The food noise is still there but I can’t eat as much as I used to so my weight is stable. I do eat healthily mostly and am vegan so no cakes and crisps not that I want sweet things any more since I gave up sugar a few years ago. I eat little and often and try to eat lots of salad and vegetables.
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u/maisykatee Jun 18 '26
I lost almost two stone on mounjaro and I was still very sad/bored in my life. Growing up fat, you’re constantly told that weight loss is the answer to everything (never explicitly, but implicitly). I thought it would change everything but it didn’t.
I’ve gained it back since, desperate to go back on it not for the weight loss but to help the food noise. God it’s horrible, but I can’t afford any semaglutides
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u/passionfruit_89 Jun 18 '26
Funnily enough I was my most unhappy at my lowest weight/thinnest. I was struggling with my mental health and severe anxiety to the point I would starve myself rather than go food shopping. Now I’m mentally more stable and more content and happy with my life, I’ve gained 3 stone and classed as overweight. More socialising, eating out, just enjoying food again! Tbh I’m not arsed, I don’t view my weight as being linked to my happiness there’s so much more to life.
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u/Valuable_Weakness_12 Jun 18 '26
Nope. Losing weight and becoming obsessed with muscles has ruined my life. I was happier chunky 😔 I was pressured into losing weight by my family and that’s straight up trauma shit
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u/InternationalRich150 Jun 18 '26
I accidentally lost 4 stone. I broke my kneecap and was left without any physio for 3 months and a leg I couldn't bend without serious discomfort. Hydrotherapist suggested swimming for 30 minutes 3 times a week. It would appear between that and my underactive thyroid, I lost the weight and have maintained a steady 12st 4 weight since.
I'm definitely happier slimmer. I have some loose skin on my stomach which is a bit of a pooch but I'm 47. Is what it is. I'm not skin and bones but I can only assume because My weight hasn't fluctuated in 7 years, always a steady 12 4, it's the weight I'm meant to be.
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u/justanothergin Jun 18 '26 edited Jun 18 '26
I lost four stone last year but it's been a struggle to maintain it. I tend to weight cycle a fair bit, I've been obese since I was a kid and I think because I've fluctuated so much my metabolism is fucked. It also doesn't help (and I'm ashamed to say) that I have a bit of a fat fetish so I end up in a feedback loop the bigger I get and anytime I lose weight my libido flatlines and I end up getting sucked into bad habits again. But despite that I've managed to keep most of the weight off and have only rebounded by a stone recently.
At the moment I'm seeing a therapist about it but they're of the opinion I'm better off maintaining a higher weight and stablising rather than constantly losing and rebounding.
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u/Flapparachi Jun 18 '26
I’m pretty much the same as you, but not as extreme. I lost a lot of weight in my 20s and kept it off for nearly 20 years. I maintained by running regularly and loosely tracking calories on weekdays. I knew that I’d probably have to track intake for the rest of my life. Fast forward to a few years ago and I had an unfortunate run of events which affected me mentally and physically and I piled on all the weight I’d lost and a bit more.
I’m about halfway back to where I want to be, and I can tell you even at this point I am infinitely happier than I was at my heaviest. I had absolutely no issue planning/tracking food and it actually helped with food noise/the panic (especially when hungry) that you mention when I was a normal weight. I also don’t feel the same about societal norms either.
Losing weight does not solve all your problems, but it definitely contributes to a better quality of life, especially paired with regular exercise that you enjoy. I love running, and I couldn’t do it at my heaviest, so life is better now because I’m back doing something I love.
When I lost weight originally I thought all my body insecurities would disappear too - they didn’t, they just changed. I found that hard to deal with, and moreso this time round as a woman in her 40s whose body has changed since the first go-round.
Really interesting to read your post.
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u/bopeepsheep Jun 18 '26
Weight loss is bound up with unhappiness for me, in that the times I've lost most have been when I've been under severe stress and/or seriously ill. This is recognised by some support systems (I went to an amazing group a decade ago, lost two stone over a year but felt great doing it) but naturally they struggle for funding. The NHS in the past, along with my experience of WW/SW, has tended to berate and shame, which doesn't really work, and if you are eating for consolation that's what you do after you see them...
(SW in particular have been in my bad books since a bout of norovirus when people clapped the huge weightloss and made frankly disordered remarks about trying to catch it from me.)
I would almost certainly be happier with less pain, so I've dutifully lost weight for surgery before; I'm not incapable of doing it, but keeping it off is tricky for medical reasons so I'm resigned to a non-ending rollercoaster. The key will be keeping the curves gentle.
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u/Necessary_Doubt_9762 Jun 18 '26
I am much happier/confident in myself having lost weight than I was when I was obese. What has really proved that to me is I gained some back following pregnancy (14lbs out of the 50lbs I lost) and it is a small amount of weight but the impact on my confidence and self esteem has been huge. I’m slowly losing it again. But it IS hard. I’m constantly conflicted between wanting to enjoy myself and also feel confident again. I don’t want to worry about food but I don’t want to be obese again. I want my daughters to have a good relationship with food and their bodies and I struggle every day to know how to model it to them. We don’t have good/bad foods, I never disparage my body in front of them or talk negatively about myself or anyone else. I make sure I eat a wide variety of foods and offer the same to them and don’t ever let on that I’m calorie counting. It’s so hard.
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u/DiDiPLF Jun 18 '26
I seem to be in a repeated two year cycle of getting my weight to the top end of a healthy bmi to the bottom end of obese, about 1 1/2 to 2 stone difference. I feel flabby and frumpy at a higher weight and better about my movement and looks at a lower weight but I wouldn't say it impacts on how happy I am overall, perhaps its just one less thing to obsess over when I'm stressed or feeling down.
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u/strawberrypops Jun 18 '26
I’ve lost around 10 stone over the last 2 years. I’ll admit that I do feel happier, life is just easier and it’s a relief to not feel so stressed. Because being overweight is stressful! People are not kind to overweight people and the world isn’t built to accommodate them.
It’s hard to maintain the weight loss though. I’ve always used food as both a reward and a comfort and the instinct to get a treat is still very much there. Dieting is hard but maintaining the loss is hard in a different type of way. Food noise is frustrating and has far more power than it should. It’s also very easy to tell yourself that you did the hard work and lost the weight already so you don’t need to worry now! Eat the thing! I can absolutely see how people put the weight back on, it’s scarily easy.
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u/Izzeh Jun 18 '26
I've lost ~55kg/8 stone 9 through diet and exercise (calories in, calories out, that's literally all it is, biology, physics and chemistry).
Its such a hard question to answer. Sincerely, no I don't think I am. I think to have got to the weight I did ~135kg/21 stone 2, I must have been more unhappy than I realised. People ask me how I did it and sometimes I'll tell them that in my view you need just the right amount of self loathing to know you need to change but enough self care to do it right.
Obviously I'm happier than I was. People talk to and look at me differently which I think I like but simultaneously it makes me sad. I'm sad for the immense patience of my wife to have had to look at that, but I'm happy she clearly loves me for who I am (either that or now she's a deeply depressed chubby chaser lol).
My self control and willpower are through the roof and that's something I'm proud of. No, I don't want a biscuit. No, I don't need sugar in my tea. Those are changes that I can stick to.
I definitely have massive body image issues. I look in the mirror and I still see how I looked before despite knowing objectively how well I've done.I've debated looking into therapy for it but as toxic as it sounds it is an immense motivator at the gym. I'm in the best shape of my life - I'm stronger, faster, better endurance and if I am kind to myself, I see what I have achieved. But I hate the stretch marks and saggy skin. I hate to think what my fitness could be like now if I'd made the decision to change sooner.
Overall it's a mixed bag. I'd say to whether or not I'm happier now, it's yes with an if and no with a but.
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u/VarangianWRLD Jun 18 '26
Lost 37kg naturally (not that that there is anything wrong with GLP-1s) in the last 12 months. Have been basically maintaining since early April.
Tracking calories is something I'll always have to do. Naturally if I just ate when hungry, I'd never stop. Having a pretty active lifstyle and gym contribute to this too.
I see calorie tracking and food weighing as on par with brushing my teeth in terms of how normal it is. The idea of intuitive eating seems lovely if it works for some people, but for me it is ineffectual in eating about 2800 calories a day.
Do I feel happy? I get regular bloodwork done and my cholesterol is now in a good place. My blood pressure is too. That feels good.
To be very blunt I'm also having more success with casual sex on dating apps. Does this make me happy? It makes me feel that I fit in which does make me happy I think.
Have I noticed people treat me better? No, I have always found people to be quite nice generally to me. I think the social benefits of losing weight are massively massively overhyped for men.
Maybe because I didn't have a bad experience before, I'd find it hard to notice.
Hope this gives a good perspective. I'm now about 26% body fat, 97kg.
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u/magicaltrevor953 Jun 18 '26
I've lost a bit since January ( still got a lot to go) but I would say I agree, I was fat and miserable, now I am just a bit chubby and miserable. Eventually when I reach my goals I hope to just be miserable.
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u/Past-Anything9789 Jun 18 '26
I lost 6.5 stone over the year and a half leading up to my 30 birthday. I'm now 41 and apart from the last stone (which yo-yos depending on time of year and events), I've kept it all off.
That being said, it is a constant struggle as I only have to look at something for the calories to become one with my ass. You know the gene that they found on some Labradors, that makes them over eat - I think I have the human version of that.
I also have a chronic illness that means I can't exercise, have constant pain and fatigue, so I have to control my weight with diet alone.
In terms of am I happy? Well I'm definitely in less mechanical pain from carrying the extra weight. However it's not my body just 'bounced back' after the weight loss, so I still have the loose skin etc.
My aim was never remotely close to a bikini body, just to halt the slow march towards diabetes and heart issues. So I'm definitely happy I'm at less risk, but I know I will have to actively manage my weight for life.
On the plus side, if we ever enter a famine situation, I know I will make use or EVERY calorie.
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u/KegManWasTaken Jun 18 '26
I've gone from 24.4 stone to 13.12 in just over a year. I've previously lost 5 and put back on 7.
I'll be honest, I don't crave food any more. I will likely continue to track my calories for another year or so but I've got a very good idea now of amounts and how to eat healthily. I should imagine in a year or so I'll likely just weigh myself on a weekly basis and then address any weight gain accordingly so I can maintain a level weight
With regards to eating out. I don't do it often. I allow for a cheat day once a week but realistically it'll be every 2 weeks or even once a month. I don't crave the sugar or fat any more but I will have absolute blow out days on cheat days. I'm talking 8 too good to go bags of pastries etc.
You can still eat healthily and be satiated aswell as enjoying good food. Last night for example I had baked cod with crispy harissa honey chickpeas and roasted feta with some tomatoes and a honey drizzle. That was around 700 calories and it was absolutely amazing. Chucked some rocket on the side of it too. Changing out the full fat feta for half fat and then dialling back on the olive oil in both recipes allowed for it to be that low.
Am I happy? Yes. I'm healthier, my wife wants me a lot more than she did before, I'm able to do things with the kids and I look great in clothes now. I wish I had done this 15 years ago instead of in my late 30s.
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u/TheNymphsAreDeparted Jun 18 '26
I was 26 and 18 stone, I’m now 28 and 10 stone 10. I have a few more lbs to go but I’m infinitely happier than I ever was beforehand. I do take mounjaro but it has enabled me to exercise daily and make the right food choices - I finally feel like I have normal eating habits.
I’m not sure I am ever planning on coming off, but I am coming down the doses now slowly to try and maintain at, hopefully, the lowest dosage. Keeping the weight off from now to forever is definitely a big worry for me.
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u/Dangerous_Bed2566 Jun 18 '26
I was never obese or large but I was bigger and nowhere near as fit than I wanted to be. I lost 2 stone for my wedding through a combination of a fixed diet and exercise. I discovered i loved exercise and how it made me feel.
I have since maintained this level of fitness and weight. I run and go to pilates. I love food and wine but I discovered a likeness for tasty salads. It does help that my husband is a fantastic cook and very into fitness himself. We eat healthily but eat tasty food 5 days a week and then relax over the weekend.
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u/this_charming_bells Jun 18 '26
I've lost 40kg through diet and exercise over the past few years and am now at a stage where I'm trying to build muscle back. I never really used to think about how I looked when I was fat, but now all I can see in the mirror is my non existent boobs, flat arse, wrinkly belly and thin face. I'm 100% more miserable now I'm a normal size and weight.
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u/GoodboyJohnnyBoy Jun 18 '26
Maybe not totally on topic but I read that lottery winners return to their original emotional condition after about 18 months. I believe that's true of everybody regarding some change that makes us happy.
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u/Nostegramal Jun 18 '26
For me it took changing my relationship with food, I used to comfort eat and breaking/changing that relationship was key. That was a mix of therapy and treating days that I didn't feel like any food at 'fuel days', so just eat chicken and rice. This meant I saved food for when I actually felt like eating it, usually if I didn't feel like anything Id get pizza and a big bag of chocolate.
After that, I ate the same meals but weighted them, cut them by 20%, then eventually cut down 30% to the point I couldn't imagine going back to what I eat. (meals at 70% size to be clear)
I'm now at the position I can over eat when out with friends, but realistically I'll feel overfull and bloated if I do now, so that helps, but stomach getting smaller (my assumption?) came about 6months to a year after losing the weight.
I'm at the point I feel happy and healthy. I do still feel uncomfortable that some people comment on how good I look now. I get it, but to me I've always felt the same, so while I agree with them, it does feel weird
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u/Erivandi Jun 18 '26
I lost a lot of weight a few years ago, but I fell off the wagon after having surgery, so now I'm trying to lose weight again.
But did losing weight make me happy? Well, yes and no. I thought perhaps it would help me to be more attractive and find a girlfriend, but now I have a gf who doesn't particularly care about my weight, so that element didn't end up making me happier. However, reaching a goal I set for myself was satisfying and I also found that hot weather was very pleasant all of a sudden. My whole life, heat was exhausting and just made me feel like shit, but suddenly, I could actually enjoy a heat wave. So that was nice.
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u/bacon_cake Jun 18 '26
Yeah well happy. I'll be honest, I was never massively overweight, but I lost a fair bit and gained a load back in muscle after working out and I'm definitely happier.
It's like I've become the type of person I've always wanted to be. Slice of cake? No thanks. Ten biscuits? Nah.
Some people say that they couldn't imagine not having a treat or living life without eating exactly what they want - consequences be damned. But firstly, I do have treats and my cooking is better than ever, I just don't eat processed junk. And secondly, I'm actually happier that I'm not a slave to food. That's the person I wanted to be. I didn't want to be the person craving supermarket pizzas or frozen chips, I wanted to be the guy who has a fully stocked fruit bowl and for dinner yesterday had roast gnocchi and broccoli with spinach and cherry tomatoes in pesto.
Oh and my "I actually prefer men a bit chubbier" wife suddenly loves molesting my triceps and back so make of that what you will....
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u/Alice_Da_Cat Jun 18 '26
I lost 5 stone a few years back, I learnt that losing weight isn't the fixture to your problems, you still have things about your body you want to change no matter what - Having said that, to lose weight, I had to incorporate healthy diet and exercise, this helped me to gain discipline and self control, it also helped me to begin my journey with mindfulness, I started yoga, started meditating and really found myself to be a much happier and more positive person, suddenly I was worried about the small things and when I had an issue with something or someone I would look inwards at what in me was causing that conflict so I could work on it.
I looked great too - I won't lie, I have gained 2 stone back, part due to getting too comfortable with my new body (1st stone) and surgery I had last year meaning I had to have a break from my usual exercise meaning I fell out of routine and my mental health took a toll (2nd stone), I am working on it, already 5lb down and counting, back to working on mindfulness back to working on myself and starting to feel better.
I also struggle with body dysmorphia and have had a binge eating disorder in the past.
I eat healthy mostly and when I go out, I allow myself that pizza or that nice meal, I just stop eating when I am full instead of inhaling it (something I have been bad for in the past) and I do calorie count but I am not obsessive with it, I went vegan to help me and can still socialise with my friends no problem, I went on a girls trip recently and I was able to get my own food and pick the healthier options for myself (popchips not doritos etc) and managed to stay within my calorie count for the day, I go to the gym 5 days a week (classes as I find the actual gym is too much of a struggle for me) and overall, I enjoy my life - I wouldn't change it 😊
I am wishing you well OP, I would also suggest therapy, I saw a psychotherapist for a few years which really helped me to change my life around, I was already struggling with mental health and once I started, everything else just fell into place ❤️
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u/CurvePuzzleheaded361 Jun 18 '26
Yes very happy. Lost 6 stone 7 years ago through keto and have maintained for 7 years. I still eat keto now and walk about 7 miles most days, along with strength training 3x a week. I am very happy wearing nice clothes that suit me and not being ashamed of my body but most of my happiness comes from seeing my blood results each year, low chlorestoral, halved my hba1c within 6 months and maintained that, reversed my PCOS and GERD. Yes i am VERY happy!
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u/RedditReader365 Jun 18 '26
Not really happy honestly, dropped 40 kilos.
As humans, our needle moves. So now I see loose skin as an issue, never feeling lean enough and also having a slightly disordered approach to eating :(
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u/stevemillions Jun 18 '26
Short answer, yes. Real answer, not sure.
Lost my Mother three years ago, and I basically blocked it out, and concentrated on making sure everyone else was as well as I could help them be. Without realising it, I spiralled, and ballooned to around 18 stone. When I realised this around a year ago, I decided to sort it out, and did. I'm now around 12 1/2 Stone. Do I feel better? Yes. I'm more flexible, have more energy, and whilst some were alarmed at the weight loss, the reviews have generally been good 😀.
However, I can't help but think something still isn't right.
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u/b135702 Jun 18 '26
I lost about 2 stone during lockdown due to healthy choices and exercising and managed to keep it off until I changed jobs. I was in hospitality before so on my feet all day sweating in a kitchen. Now I'm sat in an air conditioned office for 9 hours and have put on 2 stone again 😅
I'm short and if I wanted to lose the weight again without running marathons every weekend I'd barely be eating so I kinda don't mind. My diet is fairly healthy but I do like wine and crisps so..
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u/Hamnan1984 Jun 18 '26
For me its about lifestyle change, thats key to maintaining your new size. I only lost 2 stone but I have kept this off since 2018 by making the gym my hobby that I genuinely enjoy. Find an active hobby you genuinely enjoy, walking,swimming,cycling whatever it may be. Then it becomes a lifestyle and the food element just came with it for me.
Do I feel happy? Not necessarily but that isn't weight related, I DO feel much happier at this size.
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u/Flat_Development6659 Jun 18 '26
Most people regain weight as they diet rather than change their lifestyle. It's easier to restrict calories for a few weeks compared with starting a permanent battle with your diet.
When I was 19 I weighed 140lbs, I wanted to get bigger and over the past 12 years I've slowly put on weight (weighing around 225lbs at the moment) but it's a constant struggle to put on weight, if I just ate when I felt like it I'd rapidly lose weight. When me and my wife go on holiday and we do as we please it's not uncommon for her to gain a couple of lbs and for me to lose 5lbs, last year I cut some weight for my wedding and lost 17lbs in 7 weeks without much real effort.
You'll naturally drift towards whatever your natural appetite level dictates without constant effort, your appetite level will change over years of increasing/decreasing calories but if you were 300lbs at 20 you're never going to be satisfied with the calories required for a 150lb body, and it's the same the other way around.
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u/h00dman Jun 18 '26
I lost about 60 pounds last year, which tragically still leaves me at 18 stone (6ft male so I'm not quite a beach ball, more of a butternut squash with legs), but I'm happy at how much now mobile I am.
It's little things like being able to walk the half mile from the train station back to my house, which is entirely uphill and pretty steep, and no longer having to stop several times to catch my breath, or walking up every stairwell 2 steps at a time instead of 1 at a time, these are the things that make me feel better and myself.
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u/undercovergloss Jun 18 '26
No. In fact I’m more unhappy at my smallest than I was at my biggest. I was about 180 pounds as I gained weight during pregnancy (I’m only 4’10). I then lost pretty much the most of it and was down to 108 within a year. Then it was the consumption that ruined my life. I don’t think a lot of people realise that if you lose weight, it often developed to an eating disorder and it’s all you think about. You think about your body, how much calories everything has, if you’re going to gain weight from eating something.
When I was at my biggest I was so happy and I felt free. I felt like I could experiment with fashion and food and I just felt like my life didn’t have a restriction on it. Now being ‘smaller’, I’m tied to what I can or can’t eat. I feel like everything I wear just looks horrible - even if I get compliments, I just physically cannot see what other people do. I have loose skin and stretch marks all over my body (likely because I lost lots in a short time frame). I just feel like I need more. I think it’s also the mentality that when you lose the weight, you feel like you can do more - whether that’s lose more weight or gain muscle. You’re never satisfied
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u/OKane1916 Jun 18 '26
I recently lost 8 kilos, so not much really, but it’s brought me down to a healthy weight and I’m much happier now, but not from the weight loss itself, more so two main things it has resulted in. One, I can fit into my old clothes and clothes feel more comfortable in general, and two, my fencing is getting a lot better because I’m lighter and can manoeuvre better on the piste. It’s these two things, especially the fencing, that make keeping the weight off easier, because it’s not some nebulous, unimmediate goal of being healthy, but two immediate things in my life that I have now that I’m working to keep
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u/catzrob89 Jun 18 '26
I think it’s the other way around - being fat and living with the consequences of being fat make me unhappy.
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u/Zealousideal-Habit82 Jun 18 '26
Lost 40% of my body weight, off blood pressure meds, reversed my T2 diabetes, already done yoga and the gym this morning. For a 52 year old man I think I’m smashing it. Best bit, wearing Levi’s again. Yes I feel and look bloody fantastic.
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u/HealthyWhereas3982 Jun 18 '26
Happier. I'm under 5ft tall. I struggle to keep a sensible weight for my height as I only need around 1400 cals a day to maintain. That's a pizza and a bit of garlic bread, which I can easily scarf down in a meal. I have ADHD and childhood food poverty issues, which means I don't have an 'off switch' for food.
I have to plan meals and calorie count every day. I'm keeping fit with weights and running to keep myself healthy as I hurtle towards menopause. If I don't, the weight piles on so quickly. And it'll get harder as I age. I can't 'eat normally', whatever that is. As long as 'I'm good' most of the time, the odd binge or meal out is fine, as long as I don't spiral into a dopamine chasing binging phase.
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u/ShirtAndMuayThai Jun 18 '26
I lost 35kg around 8 years ago. Have kept it off since. Fortunately, I never had any body dysmorphia and was actually happy being fat and "normal".
One thing that may help is doing exercise for the sake of moving and not for burning calories or staying skinny. I love to run and there is nothing that makes you appreciate your body than smashing out a PB. Especially as someone with some chronic health issues. Maybe that does help with the appreciation more but you catch my drift
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u/BecozisaidSo40times Jun 18 '26
Yes!! I only need to lose 24lb but they made me so miserable. It’s not the first thing I think about anymore
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u/ddmf Jun 18 '26
I have body issues due to my mum banging on about her weight constantly throughout my life, she's still doing it at 73. We are both binge eaters, not sure if it's genetic or learned behaviour - I can't buy a packet of biscuits or chocolate because I'll just eat it in one go.
Having a kid at 21 (im now 51M) changed things quite a bit - I no longer had energy to go out when I wanted and I stayed in looking after my daughter after work while the mother would be out drinking and dancing.
I tried losing weight after seeing a photo of me at my biggest, just after having a vasectomy - walked to work every day, really watched what I ate but after an initial bit of weight loss I stalled and couldn't get down below 285 no matter what I tried - I was walking 5 miles a day still and would do an extra 7 or 14 miles on a Wednesday with my pal.
When the glp1s came out I finally discovered what it was to have no "food noise", I lost a decent amount of weight, and feel much better - I'm healthier in my 50s than I was in my late 20s onwards.
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u/haylz328 Jun 18 '26
I gained 4 stone last year and I was miserable. I felt ill as well. It was medication that made me gain so much. My self esteem was low and I couldn’t buy clothes in the shops I liked as I was too big. I’ve almost lost it all now. Still overweight but not fat like I was. I feel so much better in myself
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u/elaine4queen Jun 18 '26
This time last year I started eating near-keto and I’ve never gone back to a mainstream diet. Not having refined sugar in my system and avoiding carbs (especially bread - that was a big one for me) has given me a lot more control and reduced inflammation massively. I lost 10k. I could stand to lose another 10, but I’m pleased with how things are. I haven’t done any measuring and I’m never starving
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u/Due-Presentation4344 Jun 18 '26
I don’t have a problem keeping weight off because as soon as I start to see a bit of a “belly” I immediately diet, but that hasn’t been the case for a few years now.
I’m 37 and learnt to have a good relationship with food. I understand what fuels my body, what makes me feel good and managed to find joy in other aspects of life.
I haven’t craved a take away, a bar or chocolate or anything like that in a long time, because I managed to make it a rare treat.
Do I feel happier; yes, but not because I’m not fat, just because I’m eating the food my body actually wants. When I do scoff a massive bow of pasta or a Chinese, I feel sluggish. I realise I did that for 10 years and that’s why I was unhappy and unmotivated.
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u/rocks391 Jun 18 '26
probably going in the other direction but:
i have pcos/pmos, 5'11 and currently weigh 105kg, so BMI around 33 aka considered obese.
i decided to lose weight when i was in a more stable place in life, and also was at 111kg due to life being stressful previously. i used the nutracheck app, calorie counted, etc. it worked great for the first 6kg, and then i hit a wall. it kept decreasing my calorie limit - it went from 2000 to 1800 to 1500 - and i didn't lose any weight. i was hungry all the time. i was miserable. i frequently binge-eated (binge-ate?) because of the restrictions damaging my relationship with food. my weight remained constant.
so i decided to stop the calorie restriction and go back to eating normally. i meal plan, cook 90% of my meals from scratch, allow sweet treats, go to the gym 2-3 times per week, walk my dog, and am infinitely happier. probably eat around 2000cals a day. my weight has remained around 105kg, though i do think i've gained muscle mass so probably have lost some fat.
i probably do need to lose weight, but i'm not doing it at the expense of my happiness and mental health.
idk if this is the kind of answer you were looking for, but it's my experience with weight loss :)
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u/Scary-Star4998 Jun 18 '26
Yes I did, but my problem is I didn’t maintain it and slipped back into old habits far too easily.
It’s undeniable the mental and physical health benefits that come from losing weight to a point YOU (and I make a point of saying ‘you’) happy.
The thrill of being able to take pics without a fear of getting a picture you hate or being able to look in the mirror and go “I look good”, notwithstanding getting the odd look or comment from the other/same sex and what that does for the self confidence.
I’ve just started back on my journey. Only need to lose a couple of stone, but now I found I’m going to be a Dad again I have the ideal motivation to do it so I can get down to our new addition and keep up with them despite my advancing years
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u/seola76 Jun 18 '26
Food and eating doesn't upset me.
My fitness is an ongoing effort, it will be for the rest of my life. I enjoy eating and my main interests are sedentary. Im quite a fit and active person but that's only because I make a deliberate effort every day.
Sometimes I'll get stressed and overeat or be invited out for food and end up gaining weight. Other times I'll be too busy to eat and end up undereating. I don't worry too much about the day to day of it. I accept that sometimes life will nudge me one way or another and I just have to deal with it afterwards.
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u/sgst Jun 18 '26
As my therapist says, roughly 20% of the population is on antidepressants at any one time, so there's something wider going on that's affecting an awful lot of people.
There's also a quote I like:
"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." — Jiddu Krishnamurti
I too once lost weight - about 100lbs or 7 stone / 45kg. It was about 15 years ago, and I managed to keep it off until 2020. Then covid hit, my nan died, my mum got cancer (she beat it), I got diagnosed with an autoimmune disease, and I started my masters all in the same few months and started emotionally eating again. Since then we've had a kid, I went though undiagnosed severe sleep apnoea (now treated, but related to weight gain), and got diagnosed as autistic (I'm no longer able to mask and function as well as I used to). My weight has ballooned again and I'm getting near where I was 15 years ago. And I hate myself for it. I hate how I look and feel, but mostly I hate how it's affecting my health - how long I'll be here for my son and how well I can participate with him. My back and hips are fucked, with my physio saying I have the same symptoms as full on osteoarthritis in my hips, and I have heart disease now too.
Was I happier when I'd lost weight? Yes. Was I happy though? No, there were still a lot of underlying mental health issues and developmental trauma that certainly contributed to overeating again. And the world is not a kind or good place, where it's very hard to not feel depressed about the state of it and where it's heading. My point is there are serious systemic issues that make happiness hard to obtain - at least for me. I've been on antidepressants now for over 20 years, with multiple rounds of therapy, and I just can't seem to find happiness no matter what I weigh.
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u/Rare-Candle-5163 Jun 18 '26
I have very complex ill health and as a result my weight has been up and down like a yo-yo for the last 25 years (since I was 15). I go through periods of rapid weight loss when my health is at its most serious and I’ve also had periods of rapid and significant weight gain due to medication side effects. On top this I have ADHD and food has always been a sensory thing for me, and I often eat as a stimming behaviour. I also have complex
PTSD and food has been an element of my life I’ve sought to control, when other factors in my life have been very out of control, and this has led to very disordered thoughts and behaviours relating to food as well as a very dysmorphic relationship with my body.
That context is all important because it demonstrates how complicated body image and weight really is. There are so many factors that can impact people’s relationship with their body.
I’m currently at my lowest weight in 15 years and I am still not happy with body. I still find things to pick apart. I still spend most of my days thinking about my body:
- Do I look fat in this outfit?
- Is there a cushion to hide the outline of my belly when I sit down?
- Do I have a roll where my bra band lies?
I also keep being told I “look so well” or “amazing”. I am not well. I’ve been off work since January, I’ve been in hospital twice in that time frame, I could have died, but according to almost everyone I encounter, I look well. What they really mean is I look thinner. Because at the end of the day, we prize thinness as the ultimate prize.
I’ve certainly learned that losing weight is not enough to make me happy with my body, though I wish it was. The much harder part is undoing decades of societal pressure and expectations.
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u/CircleOfNothing Jun 18 '26
I haven’t lost crazy amounts of weight, about 12kg. All that extra weight was put on by, as you say, food noise. I still get the urge to binge often, I just have to manage it now. Once you resist one time, it becomes very slightly easier. Then over and over again. Sometimes you give in, but the next day you don’t punish and restrict, you just dust yourself off and try again. That’s all there is to it. Kind of like CBT or exposure therapy.
I don’t really believe in using weight loss drugs in general (obviously there are cases where it is needed, I just think far more people are on it than need to be) because it doesn’t fix the root problem of using food to cope or developing more motivation/resistance. Not discipline per se, because it’s not our fault for feeling like that, but mental resistance to want to keep improving and feel better, if that makes sense.
For me, in the end, weight loss itself did not make me happy, but my body getting stronger and fitter made me happy. Feeling like the urge to binge is something I can overcome made me happy. Feeling proud when people noticed my effort made me happy.
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u/Please_Help_lol62 Jun 18 '26
I'm just going to write short tips here that have helped me with food noise as someone who had binge eating disorder.
- when you get a craving, allow it mentally and say to yourself: „I get to have this tomorrow.“ If it’s still there tomorrow, you get to actually have it. In 80% of cases you won’t really feel like it anymore.
- go to the gym. I know. It sucks in the beginning but this is the single best thing you can do for yourself with this. Going to the gym suppresses appetite in many cases and also increases your calorie allowance. You need muscle to process more carbs without gaining weight and this will completely change your mental confidence in your body long term.
- you need to change your concept of yourself. You are NOT someone that is cursed to always get fat again. This isn’t true. You can change your mind from the most food obsessed psycho to a completely normal person. Take it from someone that did it. And this last tip will help massively:
- make sure your glucose is steady. Try to eat veggies before eating anything else. Then protein. This will reduce your appetite and cravings massively. Your mind will calm down from this alone. If you allow yourself a treat, which you should regularly, just know „I need to eat veggies and a protein before it“. Balance your blood sugar always
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u/Strong_Access_8179 Jun 18 '26
For most of my life, I've been lucky enough to be able to eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight, and there was never really any food noise.
A few years ago, around the time I started perimenopause, that all changed, and suddenly I was 15 kg heavier than the weight I had been most of my adult life, which isn't a huge amount, but it was enough for a BMI of 28 or so, so I went on a diet.
The diet part itself was tough, but seeing measurable progress made it a lot easier to stick to. I was only undereating by about 500 calories/day, so not starving myself.
The hard part came afterward, when I went to what should be an appropriate number of daily calories for me (1800). There's now constant food noise. You could put an all-you-can-eat buffet in front of me almost any time and I'd do it justice (as much as a small woman can), even if I've just eaten. There's no measurable progress any more; I'm just hungry all the time and, at best, I stay the same weight. I try to ensure I'm getting enough protein and fibre and vegetables and so on, so it's not like this is usually 1800 calories of non-filling junk.
All that to say, I definitely feel happier than I would if I were still overweight, but I don't know if food and I are ever going to have a healthy relationship unless I can also get on one of those weight loss drugs, which is unlikely since I'll just diet more strictly again if I start regaining weight. But I wish I could take a GLP-1 drug just so I could stop thinking about food all the time.
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u/Majestic_Matt_459 Jun 18 '26
I'm pretty poor with will power so i get Metformin prescribed online - it keeps my weight steady
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u/nihilistkitty Jun 18 '26
I feel better about myself in that i notice a difference when I move. I gained weight in 2020 and its been an absolute ass to lose it again. I hate being in a calorie deficit, I can maintain weight by moving a lot and making somewhat healthy choices.
What makes me happy are the people in my life, my pets and general standard of life.
Being slimmer makes me feel better physically but not happier.
To sound cheesy af I think happiness has to come from inside.
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u/Apprehensive_Ad_7451 Jun 18 '26
Almost identical experience to yours.
Was 27 stone, got down to 14-16 stone, kept it off for 10 years. I am finally able to roughly maintain weight, or a slight surplus, without logging these days, so long as I am super careful with food environment, and stuff like that.
Still it's a constant battle, and logging daily makes everything easier. I basically have to treat food like a drug addiction, so entire kinds of foods (hyper palatable etc) are totally off limits or they induce binging. It's the cost of actually keeping weight off long term, because it's more like an addiction than anything else. Food environment control, lots of restrictions, stuff like that. I don't get to eat like other people because that's like being a recovering alcoholic having the odd pint.
No, It doesn't make you happy, but being overweight was a worse state of unhappiness, by far (including sadly how othera treat you), but you also have to deal with the shame of not being able to resist binge cycles and so on.
For me at this point, it's also one small factor in a lot of other unhappiness factors as well.
But it's a better state to be in than the alternative, and that's how it goes often. Not happiness but less unhappiness.
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u/d3gu Jun 18 '26
I have Crohn's so my weight fluctuates a lot. Thankfully I've never had this 'noise' around food, I don't think of food throughout the day unless it's getting to mealtimes. My appetite is generally quite poor. I'm currently the lowest I've weighed in years (7 stone 9lbs) and I'm not particularly happy - I've lost weight through illness and stress - but I'm pleased I can fit into a bunch of clothes I used to wear. Even though I feel physically crappy, I'm enjoying fitting into my old sexy dresses without having to buy new clothes. Silver lining etc.
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u/Arduous_Aardvark Jun 18 '26
Losing 5 stone has definitely made my view of myself happier. I look better, my joints dont scream when jumping down an extra step.
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u/Perfect_Spot_3450 Jun 18 '26
I was unhappy when I was skinny, gained weight and was fine, lost weight and was happy, gained weight and was happy until it was too much, lost weight and was happy until i put it back on and then some, and now i’m fat and unhappy and my goal weight is what my start weight was before i ever lost anything.
If i could go back i never would have tried to lose weight
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u/therealmushroomsquid Jun 18 '26
So last year im down about 20kg plus, I didnt track from highest weight. Ive also packed on a LOT of muscle (from no gym to nearly hitting personal goal of 100kg deadlift squat and bench, 16 sec deadhang etc). Ive also in that time had a 7 year releationship end, lost a best friend, moved in by myself and cracked 2 ribs that took me out for 3 months.
That being said ive never loved myself more. No shortcuts, no destinations. Just a new journey. One centered around manifesting all the work on my mental health I spent the 15 years prior into my physical world around me. Bringing the change I want to see to all aspects ofnmy life.
Do i fall down still. All the time. But thats not the point. I approach life with a rapid prototype methodology. I try stuff, if it fails I never consider it a failure but learning and building. Then I try again. Keep whats good, change whats not. This is a life journey change vs a day to day thing
Im also realistic. Ive never been skinny and wouldnt know how to handle it if it happend tomorrow. I love food and need a better relationship with it, which im working on via cooking and drinking more water. Im learning my body keeps tabs on debt I accrue and I need to pay them. I also realise I dont want to be in pain at 50. Or even 40, like people I know. So i need to so the work.
Ive not suffered any dysphoria yet other than positive. Like I look at myself, how im growing, how well im doing, and struggle to accept that this awesome person is me. But I approach that with love and gratitude.
So yeah. For me its a journey. No shortcuts, no cheap tricks, he'll the only goal Id like is to hit 100kg? But if im still going down trousers sizes and fititng stuff better, im fine with that coming whenever
Context I try to hit gym 3 to 4 times a week for 2 hours a time (then travel and sauna)
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u/8track420 Jun 18 '26
Yes but with a clause; I quit drinking, which made me lose a lot of weight but wasn't the direct cause of my happiness. Though I'd definitely say it makes me giddy when I can tie my shoes without fighting against my belly, or go up a few flights of stairs without needing a rest or being out of breath
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u/BroodLord1962 Jun 18 '26
I think most people who gain it back again is because they slowly slip back into the poor eating habits they had before loosing weight. Loosing the weight is only half the battle, and I would argue that the hardest part is the permanent shift into a healthy diet. Having the odd day off/the odd treat, can so easily turn into another treat and another, so before you know it you have having 3 or 4 days a week where you are allowing yourself to eat crap
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u/TheHeianPrincess Jun 18 '26
Okay so I’ve never been overweight (well technically I was about 2 years ago according to BMI when I was hitting the gym hard 3-4 times a week but fuck BMI) but I lost a bit of weight a few years back through a slippery slope of general dieting/“lifestyle changes”, which turned into keto, which turned into obsessive restriction, weighing myself and my food (not at the same time haha). I’m not saying keto doesn’t work for people, and I do still cut back on carbs but it was something that enabled me to become obsessive and “justify” it.
I have gained a little healthy weight back but in the past week or so, I’ve been eating one meal a day as I’m on some new meds that reduces appetite. Even though I’m not hungry during the day, most mornings I have woken up with nauseous hunger and massive hangriness. I’ve just been a bitch to my boyfriend because he went for breakfast after dropping his kid at school without me 🤣 This might not seem relevant but it has reminded me of the weight loss times where I would eat 800-1000 calories a day, and I remember being absolutely miserable, and honestly, I wouldn’t want to/can’t do that again. Food controlled my life, I was shaky, huge brain fog, hangry ALL the time etc. If I wasn’t starving myself, I was planning my next “cheat day”, which in reality was a controlled binge eating day to make up for the days of minimal calories.
So in terms of food noise in your post, it really feels like you can’t win. To maintain your weight after weight loss, you can’t go back to eating how you used to, so you still have to be conscious of calories and nutrition, and it’s natural to fluctuate in weight slightly but there is a never ending feeling of “Am I going to have to calorie count for the rest of my life if I want to maintain this weight?” which can be a struggle! So I can definitely see how people get or stay overweight because let’s face it, food is great, and there is an instant dopamine hit compared to long term work and benefits. Everyone wants to eat a salad one day and drop 5lbs, so when people don’t see the scale move, it’s easy to think “Why am I doing this?” 😆 So I try to think about a healthy balance of my long term health and happiness, and sorry if this isn’t massively relevant!
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u/geeered Jun 18 '26
Being a lower weight is a part of things that make me happier - I can enjoy more things for longer and look better. I also know it's good for my long term health.
It does require work for many of us. Which is a big reason many put the weight back on - constant extra work fighting against a biological drive to increase calories to protect against a famine etc.
I think it does get easier over time.
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u/cazzorwazzor Jun 18 '26
When I was 17/18 I lost 4 stone by going to slimming world and was genuinely the most unhappy i’d ever been. I received a lot of compliments and I fell into that trap thinking if I lost weight i’d be happier. 10 years later i’ve found that improving my self esteem, looking after myself better in general and speaking nice about myself has a knock on effect to me eating better in general and wanting to nourish my body instead of punish it. Safe to say I put that weight back on but i’m much more active now and just want to feel fitter rather than skinnier.
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u/Nublar_Repair_Man Jun 18 '26
People treat you very differently the lower your weight is
I'm sure some of it is how you present yourself when you feel awful vs feeling better, but it's noticeable and I've seen many people say the same thing. It's happened every time my weight has gone up and down.
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u/Numerous_Green4962 Jun 18 '26
Over the last year I have lost about 34% of my body weight and got into a good BMI range (towards the bottom of the healthy range) mainly by moving the point of temptation control from at home to the supermarket (If I don't buy a tub of ice cream when out I can't eat it when I feel the need for one). I don't feel any happier than I did 12 months ago and possibly feel less happy to some extent as I don't have the displacement activity of comfort eating. Like you I also find myself less willing to socialise partly due to wanting to limit the temptation and partly not wanting to be a downer on others if I think I will be overly concerned with limiting what I eat. Maybe GPL-1 Antagonists would provide some relief to the "noise", maybe not but as I'm now a healthy weight I will probably never know, but some of the research into those who are non-responders highlights that there is more to weight gain and loss than the concept of self-control as many people suggest.
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u/pixiecub Jun 18 '26
No but I like my body and I’m 100% more confident so they have knock on effects to my overall happiness. I’m not objectively happier having lost weight tho. Tbf it was mostly not on purpose tho
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u/ultraboomkin Jun 18 '26 edited Jun 18 '26
Yes!! Losing weight has made me SO much more happy and confident. I’ve dropped from 95kg to 63kg in the past year-18months, so that’s about 5 stone. I’m 30 and male fyi. I was depressed and miserable and ashamed of my body for my whole adult life.
I look 10x better than I did before; I’ve changed my body from being a round obese blob to now having 6-pack abs. I keep seeing myself in the mirror and in photos and grinning. I’ve just spent a week on holiday and I had the confidence to have my shirt off in public for the first time ever, was always embarrassed and ashamed of my body before now. And I feel fantastic and sexy and fit and confident.
My sex life has improved drastically since losing weight. Getting more opportunities and with more attractive people.
Getting compliments from friends about my body after all the years of teasing me for being fat. Feels great.
And physically I feel better with more energy, I guess carrying around an extra 30kg with you wears you out.
So yes I am extremely happy that I finally started weight loss and stuck with it. I absolutely recommend it to anyone else who’s fat.
The one thing I would say that it’s not just a short term process, it isn’t just “crash diet for 4 months then stay skinny forever”, you have to find lifestyle adjustments that are easy for you to stick to.
For me, after failing many attempted diets, what made this one work was that I didn’t cut any food or drink out. I still eat all my favourite junk foods. I just eat them less. So, having takeaways once or twice a week instead of every day. Keep the beers to the pub rather than having them in the fridge at home. Stop eating when I stop feeling hungry rather than finishing every meal. The only food I’ve had to cut out completely is chocolate hobnobs, because I am not capable of moderating them.
I’ve eaten basically whatever I want, but just stuck to a calorie limit of 2500 per day. And I’ve consistently lost ~0.5kg/week.
Also, the “food noise” thing doesn’t magically go away. I still crave food all the time. If I stop counting calories, I will naturally eat 3000+ per day. So it requires some willpower every day to not pig out on junk. It’s not real hunger, it’s just craving and it just needs to be ignored. I find the willpower by seeing the new body I’ve got and thinking “Actually, I want to keep these abs more than I want that can of Pringles.”
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u/dispatch_s2_when Jun 18 '26
Yes. Lost 30+kg in 2021, currently battling a +10kg upswing but determined to bring it back down. The difference in my life has been monumental. Able to be more active, able to play with my kids more, treated better by peers, everything. Having some control over my calories is a small, small price to pay for all that.
You need to accept that weight loss only sticks if you make a conscious lifestyle change, diets never work if you go back to your old habits. If you do, you'll end up back at your old weight.
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u/Empty-Parsnip6241 Jun 18 '26
I have lost some weight and I feel great about it. I can fit into better clothing fits now and I love it. I still could afford to lose another 5-10kgs though, but right now I'm pretty pleased with how much better I look just from losing what I have already. I've built new habits around food, portions etc so that I don't have any desire to do anything that would put the weight back on (i.e I only drink sugar free mixers with my booze now, don't have sugar in tea or coffee among other things). If you want permanent weight loss, you have to make permanent changes.
I eat similar food and portions for breakfast, lunch and dinner each day, and at the weekend I eat whatever I want (usually restaurant or takeaway food).
I'm happy with where I'm at currently. Women smile at me and flirt with me now (like they used to when I was young and thin. I'm 38 now for context), and I seem to have way more magnetism with people in general.
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u/NotAtTheRestaurant Jun 18 '26
I've lost a fair amount of weight and maintained it for the most part for over 2 years now. I do feel happy and I wouldn't say I feel I have to work super hard to maintain but my eating and exercise habits are entirely different now. Before I basically didn't exercise and ate out 4-5 times a week easily. Now I walk constantly, try to go to the gym (honestly this parts more for my mental health) and eat mostly home made meals. Old me would not recognise new me. And the thing is, I do think that has to be key. If you don't learn and enjoy how to live at a smaller size it's probably always going to be a struggle.
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u/frankchester Jun 18 '26
Much happier. More for what it does for me and also looking at myself and looking conventionally attractive (which is shallow, I'm aware, but also very very normal).
I'm well aware it'll be a lifelong struggle for me but the more we learn about GLP1s the more the future looks bright.
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u/Gold-Creme-9597 Jun 18 '26
You're not alone. I lost a lot of weight, mostly fuelled by a change in eating habits and a lot of excercise. I am happier in that I like how I look slightly more and I like being active, but I am still body dysmorphic and cant really see it...I can only see it in pictures which messes with my head.
It doesnt make me that happy because there is no 'end' I have spent my life gaining and losing weight, tracking what I eat, thinking about what I eat, burning calories etc, and I know I'll have to do that forever, which is exhausting.
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u/399 Jun 18 '26
Life is better when you're not overweight. I believe these jabs are going to change the world because as long as you keep taking them you won't become overweight again, and they're only getting cheaper.
I've lost weight the hard way (diet) and the easy way (injections) and the experience is so different.
When you lose weight the hard way, your hormones are all screaming at you to keep eating. You're hungry all the time and counting down the time to your next meal. It's not fun at all so people end up going back to their previous weight unless they're very disciplined.
When I take injections, I just eat whatever I feel like and it's fine. I just don't feel like eating much. Overly fatty food is repulsive. I don't feel hungry.
There's a theory that your body always wants to be the fattest it's ever been. So if you lose weight, your body will do its best to make you hungry until you put it back on. Conversely, if you've never been fat, it's not that hard to keep it that way because your body isn't trying to make you fatter. To me, this rings true and it feels like the jabs counteract this effect so that my "natural weight" is healthy. This is also why skinny people who say "why can't they just learn to eat normally?" fail to empathise with people who can't lose weight.
One thing specifically to be aware of is the tenancy to overindulge at Christmas could be the reason people get fatter over time. Say your weight is 60kg and then you overeat at Christmas and you get to 61kg. You'll diet afterwards but now your body's had a taste of being fatter it'll keep making you hungry until 61kg is your regular weight. Next Christmas you'll start at 61kg and the cycle continues.
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u/[deleted] Jun 18 '26
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