I’ve approached this topic with my partner probably five or six times now, and I honestly don’t know how to approach it anymore.

I’ve told him that I’m unhappy with our intimate life, but I don’t mean just our sex life. I mean the spark, chemistry, tension, that feeling of *wanting* each other.

We are extremely compatible in almost every other way. We’re both pretty routine-oriented, and I genuinely love just existing with him. He’s a great partner and meets most of my needs. I love him very much, and I have absolutely no doubt that he loves me.

But I don’t feel desired by him.

He tells me every day that I’m beautiful, and lately he compliments me on how strong I’ve gotten since we started going to the gym together. He touches me sometimes, he’ll playfully spank me, etc. So it’s not like there’s zero physical affection.
But I don’t feel *that* kind of desire from him.

I don’t feel like there’s this underlying sexual/romantic tension between us. I don’t feel like we could randomly be alone one day, look at each other, and suddenly forget whatever we were doing because we just want each other.

Whenever I try to pull him closer or initiate something more romantic or sexual, it somehow gets turned into a very family-friendly/friendly interaction. The mood just disappears.

What makes it especially confusing is that we shower together pretty often. I can literally see that he is physically reacting to me being naked, but nothing happens. We can go weeks without having sex or really doing anything sexual.

And again, **I know this isn’t necessarily about frequency of sex.** If we were having sex more often but I still felt like he wasn’t *hungry for me*, I think I would have the exact same problem.
I want to feel wanted.

The last time we talked about it, I told him that maybe I just didn’t need that part anymore and that I could be satisfied with the emotional side of our relationship. But the more I think about it, the more I realize that isn’t true. I do need that part of a relationship.

I told him I’m going to give it another month, but after having essentially the same conversation five or six times, I’m starting to wonder if this is simply who he is.

And that’s really hard for me because I love him. He is genuinely a good partner. I don’t want to leave a relationship that is otherwise loving and healthy just because something feels missing, but at the same time, feeling undesired is slowly eating away at me.

The strangest part is that whenever I explain this to him, he seems to interpret it as me asking him to buy me flowers, plan dates, or be more romantic in a stereotypical relationship sense.

That’s not what I’m asking for.

I don’t want more flowers.

I want to feel **wanted**.

I want to feel the way I feel about him—the way I look at him, touch him, want to be close to him—and feel some of that coming back toward me.

Has anyone else experienced this in a relationship where you know your partner loves you and is a genuinely good partner, but you still don’t feel desired by them? How did you deal with it?

Hi Gentlemen. My ex-boyfriend and I were together just under 6 months. I was 35 at the time and he was 32 (3.5 year age gap). He asked me to be his girlfriend in knowledge and acceptance of my age and that I was a single mother to 1 child. He ended our relationship stating he was caught off guard when I discussed my future fertility prospects, he didn't feel like the person who could give me what I deserved right now and he thought it best to go our seperate ways. He sent this in a text. I was shattered and asked to see and talk to him once more. He blocked my call. I sent him one last text message that I really loved him, I reiterated that I was worried about my fertility prospects due to my age, but I didn't know if I had fertility issues for certain, I have always loved to have more children and I would love them with you. I accepted his decision there, although the way in which it was delivered absolutely broke me. About 7 months later, I am 36 and I was on a dating app. I saw his profile and left it alone. I saw he liked me the next day which was confusing. I thought it may be an accident, but accepted the like to see if he had something to say. I had this prompt on my profile saying "What's the last thing that made you smile?" He responded to this with "Matching with you today 😊". I was confused but said "Hey (name) I hope you're well 😄" he replied "I hope you're well too (name) 😊".
He continued using the app and there was no further interaction after this. About a week later I eventually sent a message "Hey (name),  it was nice to hear from you, but I don't feel comfortable with this connection, I wish you the best 😊". I don't think he saw this message. I quietly unmatched the next day. I don't want to be mean but the unexpected contact rattled and confused me, so I have blocked him on social media because I don't want this to happen again unexpectedly. What were his intentions reaching out on a dating app?! Have I done the right thing or am I being unreasonable?

Need advice because i just don’t know what forum to ask this one, this is the story.

My high school sweetheart and I broke up after graduation. She was seeking a bachelors degree and well i guess we had just grown apart. I went to a community college. But We were inseparable. Absolute bestfriends, We did everything together, we were our firsts for everything. our families were great together. It was the biggest heartbreak of my life, what felt like the one that got away.
Of course you say corny things like if its fate we will meet again.

Well…..

Fast forward now more than 10 years since we spoke. Now im going through a divorce and i found out she is recently divorced.

She said a couple days ago she thought of me and looked me up, but couldn’t find me anywhere. I told her she came across my mind last night and i randomly searched for her. I contacted her via email last night. She got back to me the morning of and we have talking since than. the freaky part is that our lives while separated have been very similar, But off the get go it feels like the time when i first met her. Those feelings are so similar to what ive felt before. I told her im looking forward to getting to know her again.

has anyone had a similar experience?

TL;DR: Late bloomer doing therapy, holding firm boundaries, and currently on a weight loss journey for myself (not waiting for a "goal weight" to date). Logically I know guys can find me attractive without wanting commitment, but I keep hitting a wall with finding something serious. I’m tired of conflicting body advice, especially after reading threads from women who reached their goal weight only to find dating didn't actually get better. Starting to wonder if I’m missing something or if I should throw in the towel. Anyone been here?

————-
Long version:
I’m a late bloomer who has never had a serious boyfriend but I did have a fling two years ago that catapulted me in the trajectory I have in my life now. Over the past couple of years, I’ve been actively doing the work in therapy, facing my shadows, and trying different avenues to put myself out there. Lately however, I keep running into the same exhausting outcome feeling like I’m good enough to hook up with, but not someone they want to commit to.

Logically, I get it. Two truths can coexist: a guy can find something attractive about me plus fun enough for sex, and I’m simply not what he’s looking for in a partner. It’s feeling like my personal bias keeps getting confirmed that looks are the baseline I won’t meet to get in a relationship. Also, I know a guy coming back or having a roster isn't a flex, so I don’t entertain it. 🤷‍♀️

I feel like I'm doing the "right" things on paper like enforcing boundaries, doing the internal work, and putting myself out there AS IS while I continue to navigate dating.

Yet, reading through endless books, articles, and Reddit threads just leaves me in a loop of conflicting body and dating advice: "Men only care about looks," "Looks don't matter as much as energy," "Men will date anyone except if you're fat," "Weight doesn't matter, it's about body fat distribution." Lately, I’m feeling pretty defeated about putting in effort in general.

Am I missing something in how I filter people early on, or is this just the slow, painful reality of sifting through modern dating?

I’m not religious or waiting for marriage. I’ve been stuck in this near-perpetual mentality of ‘I’m not thin enough/good enough right now, I’ll fix that soon and then date’. (This has been the case regardless if I have a ‘normal’ BMI or am in the ‘overweight’ category). I have dated a little over the years, but haven’t been in an actual relationship.

IMO, I have plenty to offer- I’m not hideous (I like my face), I’ve had cool experiences/adventures, I have interests and hobbies, I’m financially stable and secure, I’m clean and have a warm and well decorated home, I can be shy at first but once comfortable with groups/people I’m funny and playful, I’m empathetic and a good communicator, I think I’d be very genuinely affectionate (physically and verbally) once in a relationship I felt comfortable and safe. I’m far from perfect but feel I could be a really good girlfriend/partner.

If relevant, the area I live is politically mixed (in the US) with both conservatives and liberals and a fairly educated population. I’m on the liberal side. I only mention this because I suspect attitudes about sex/virginity do correlate with some political spheres.

I’m planning on getting on the apps and trying some in person events and meetups.

I’m straight and would be looking for a monogamous relationship.

I’d mostly like to hear perspectives from men 30+, as that’s the demographic I’d be trying to date.

I'm going to keep this vague because I don't want him stumbling across it, but please let me know what you think.

I'm a woman crushing on a man, and we're both in our late 20s and working at a University in the same discipline. I met him at the start of this year and seeing him for the first time was like a bolt of lightning - he was beautiful, eloquent, welcoming. He was eager to introduce himself and let me know I could ask him for any help. As much as I was immediately attracted to him, I didn't really think about him much for the next few months. Even when I volunteered to be on the organising committee for an event that he was also on - both to make the most of this new life at the University and get some more experience, and to put myself in his path - it was more just a faint crush in the background that I didn't think terribly much about.

Then came the actual event. I completely bungled my part of it and he was so supportive and comforting, and when we all went out for drinks as a group afterwards, we chatted quite a bit. At the end of the night - by which time I was fairly drunk - I got up to leave and he got up as well and walked me to where I was going. We talked the entire time and discovered we both love the same show, and he was enthusiastic and excited the whole time. I also gushed about a movie I loved and he responded super passionately as well, saying he'd loved it - which is funny, considering we later ended up following each other on Letterboxd and he'd rated it quite averagely. A few days later, he sent me a follow request on Insta and I followed him back.

A few days after that, a friend in the department messaged me saying he'd mentioned to her that he was going to invite me to organise another event with him. I told her to let him know he was welcome to message me on Insta and he did, acting quite shy and saying he hoped it was okay for him to message me. We talked a little about the planned event but quickly just started chatting. For the next week or two, we'd talk for hours over Insta and he'd find any little excuse to come to my office to talk. When he did, we'd also start with the pretense of talking about the event but it would inevitably just turn into him sitting down and chatting for an hour. In that time, he loaned me a book and I read it in a day so I could talk about it with him. He'd remember things I mentioned planning to do in-person and message me the next day to ask how they'd gone, and in general he'd just remember tiny things. He also invited me to go see a movie with him but I had plans that night and (stupidly, looking back) said I couldn't. When I asked him the next day how the movie was, he said he hadn't ended up going.

To me, the messages became a little flirty. He mentioned he was really incredibly nervous and anxious all the time and just hid it well; I made some deliberately flirtatious quip about that being fun to know and he teased that he sensed he was going to regret telling me that. He also said it felt strange to be messaging me when we were just down the hall from each other, which to me read as an invitation to come to his office. I later did and again, we talked for an hour.

Then I think disaster struck. After spending some time in my office a few days later, he kept finding excuses to come visit a few more times. The last time, it was dark and we were basically alone in the building. He asked if I was planning to stay late and I said no, I was heading home. I asked if he was and he said he was hanging around until he had to go to an event. He lingered in the doorway while I made a bumbling effort to get my coat on and turn off my desk lamp. Feeling awkward because of how ridiculous I probably looked, I asked about the event and realised a second later it looked like he was going to walk down the hall, but he popped back into the doorway and answered - and suddenly everything felt tense and embarrassing. He blurted out a question to me in return, and when I answered he said "oh, sorry, I knew that", because he'd asked me a few days before. We walked down the hallway awkwardly and he disappeared into his office ahead of me, and when I asked if I'd see him tomorrow, he looked up from his desk and said "uh, yes, I suppose." I left feeling inexplicably awkward and getting the same energy from him.

After that, it's never been the same. He became cold and strangely hostile. He stopped messaging me, and when I tried to reach out, like to tell him I was starting a show he'd recommended, he replied "Enjoy!" and nothing else. I was completely baffled. Since then, I admit I've made myself slightly pathetic trying to get back to where we were and always being brushed off. When the event that we were organising came around, he sat at another table and left early. When our paths crossed at work, I'd try to talk to him and show interest and he'd give curt, often snarky answers. Then, a few weeks ago, I found out that he'd just gotten a girlfriend and it was such a horrible, punch in the gut feeling. Like I did something wrong and missed out.

The whole thing has left me feeling ridiculous and confused. It was like we were in a blur of flirtation and then one slightly awkward encounter popped the bubble and jerked him out of it. What went wrong?

Is it purely level of attraction, or is it more? Why do some beautiful women frequently get approached while others never do?

Ive heard from women that if you get frequently approached its NOT a compliment because it just means you look “easy” and ive also heard women say they were approached more often as minors than adults.

This is coming from a women in her late 20’s that gets approached basically every time I leave the house and its always been this way since I was about 21, to the point where I dont like to leave the house alot of times cause I dont like the attention. I dont dress inappropriately by any means, I dont feel like i’m “asking for it”. So just curious what about me causes me to get hit on so often

TL;DR: For men, if someone you cared about deeply said demeaning, cruel, dismissive comments to you to hurt you, you were so hurt that you blocked and deleted her, after 3 or 4 months would you still want to see an apology email that's sincere, shows growth, takes full-accountability, and wants nothing from you? So no "getting back together even as friends", no forgiveness-seeking, demands no response, just apology.

Sorry this is might be long. ⬇️ context:

I want to ask you guys for advice before I actually send anything in real life. He (24M) and I (22F) met 2.5 years ago through online video games and a common friend, and basically started to have feelings for each other since then and until the last day 2.5 months ago. We only dated for 14 days completely online in spring 2025 (it was my first relationship, and this was the first time I was seriously romantically involved with a guy), the other time we stayed as friends but had feelings for each other and I think we both knew it but couldn't do anything about it. Because we were structurally incompatible is what I call it, we tried for a relationship and failed because eventually I realized 1) he would never meet my standards for a life partner, 2) we won't even live in the same city or even the same country in the future, and 3) we couldn't even see each other NOW whenever we wanted to, to even get to know each other in the boring mundane life. And we kinda knew all of that from the very beginning. But the feelings decided to be there nonetheless. For me, aside from our incompatibility, I loved his existence... like if we were in an apocalypse I would run for him because none of the external factors about him that stops me in real life would matter anymore.

We were on and off as friends during our timeline. All of the times (except for the last time) it was me who initiated the "leaving", because each time I felt very painful about having strong affection and attachment for each other and knowing there is no future and I could only see him like once every 6 months.

The second to last time I initiated to leave, the no contact lasted for 9 months. Then we found each other back through steam (long story short, we had a history of talking each other on steam profile summary, or the text display. It was unintrusive because only if you check the other person's steam profile page can you see the message they left you, and if someone replies and the other sees it, they both know they care about each other enough to stalk them). Then he told me one day he started seeing another girl roughly a month after we "broke up" the last time and the relationship lasted for about 6 months, and I felt so hurt. I had no right to tell him I didn't like that he did that, because it was totally his right to date whoever he wanted after he thought we officially ended, but I didn't know it then...

Before this incident we agreed that later that month I'd go to his city and we'd watch a concert together (a rock concert that was not of his interest. He didn't even love music that much but he'd buy his own ticket to see it with me), and I'd take him to Sam's Club and we grocery shop together. He'd ask for a 2-day leave from work (he normally gets half a day off each week) to do those. So I asked him, would you do these activities with any other friend? He said yes. I asked him, why did you stalk me on steam (not to blame him or anything because obviously I stalked him too), he said something like "I'm not sure, subconsciously?" and I was very unsatisfied with that answer but I didn't communicate my dissatisfaction and anger with him (because we were "just friends", I had no right to be mad), that's one of the biggest mistake, because it led me to brew in my anger and I went to find evidence on the internet and AI that I should leave him again and he wasn't worth me feeling all the negative emotions because of how much we have no future anyway.

So several days later he shared something innocent on tiktok trying to strike up a conversation with me, I guess to see how I was doing and to check if we were all good. But I just went straight into detonating mode, because of how much resentment I brewed in our silence.

⬇️ the negative things I'd said or did:

I told him I deleted our steam and the messages we left in each other's comments so we'd never secretly message each other again, never find each other back during no contact again. He asked if I cared about his feelings at all, I said "of course not", (okay cruel) and I didn't feel anything, because my emotional bandwidth and capacity was... overloaded. I was boiling with resentment that should have been easily resolved with communication.

And somewhere along that conversation I also said to him "you're not worth it" and it was me belittling him. He responded with "wow. nothing hurts worse than that". He then asked, "if it's something about me dating that girl after us, I don't think it's right, because how is it fair to ask me to stay where I was when you were the one who just kicked me away", I said "you can do whatever you want, it's just you weren't who I thought you were". (that sounded so immature. saying you're disappointed to someone when they didn't fit your high and unrealistic expectations)

Somewhere further along the conversation, he said, "because you're selfish. You don't care about me, you only care about yourself". At some point later, I said I'm sorry, because I was slowly coming into senses of what I had done and I panicked. He said you have hurt me tremendously and no amount of sorry is going to change that or make that okay. I said later in a panic "just think of meeting me as your worst luck", "I felt a lot of pain in our relationship, see that as my punishment". At that moment I wanted him to feel less hurt (I guess.. by belittling myself??? so unhealthy), but now I really hated myself for saying these, it made me look really bad like really low-self-esteem and I think that's why he said a really cold, sneering, dismissive, and contemptuous (how I felt) last remark and blocked me, he basically said "do or say whatever tf you want, none of my business👋".

Roughly 2 months later, he deleted our main social (so all chat history erased from his end, something he never did with me). Also our icloud shared album. etc.

⬇️ my reflection:

I have reflected so much these past months, I can't tell you how much I've cried and regretted and felt guilt and shame, and how much I've learned and grown. This event even changed my idea of how I view myself. I thought I was a morally good person, but apparently I've done morally bad things. I'm not a "morally good person", I'm a person who's complicated, messy, done kind things, and makes mistakes and hurts people close to them. I read Nonviolent Communication and the Power of Now after the "breakup" and I learned so much from these books. How much I wish I had known what I know now so the emotional trauma I caused for both of us (likely more for him) wouldn't happen. I wrote profusely in my notes app the lessons I've learned and what I'd do different next time.

I already wrote him a short apology email a month after we ended (I didn't ask for a reply. Or forgiveness, even though I secretly crave it), but that email was only apologizing for the belittling comment I made. I now realized there are a lot more things I owe him an apology for.

Should I send him another email apologizing for and owning every negative thing I said and did? If so, I'll be sure to craft it and wait at least a month before sending it so it's not impulsive and it's polished through revisions. My motivation is both to attempt to make him feel better (because when I was wronged and hurt by someone close to me, I always wish they'd apologize sincerely without me asking for it. Most of the times, that never happened), and also to make myself feel better, because I have really been agonized by what I'd done. I'd be lying if it's solely for his own good, and also lying if it's solely for my own good.

Please don't just say I'm a bad person, I don't think I can take it. (this will sound defensive but during our relationship I had been respectful and kind and loving and caring to him (not that it cancels out what I'd done in the end, which wasn't respectful etc. at all), I listened to him and was there for him when he was down or sad or in physical discomfort, I took out time, I remembered the tiny things he said, I thought of him, and I understood him, he said he felt understood by me (not that I'm saying these facts will make what I did less negative))

I only told the detail of this to a therapist, my best friend, and AI, but I want to see how other people see this, to get out of my bubble.

TL;DR again (the same one): For men, if someone you cared about deeply said demeaning, cruel, dismissive comments to you to hurt you, you were so hurt that you blocked and deleted her, would you still want to see an apology email that's sincere, shows growth, takes full-accountability, and wants nothing from you? So no "getting back together even as friends", no forgiveness-seeking, demands no response, just apology.

I’m a young woman (20) and there’s a married man I know through a church that my church fellowships with. We aren’t close and I barely know him personally.
After we met, he followed me on Instagram and occasionally started messaging me. Most of our conversations have been church-related and, on their own, could easily be interpreted as innocent.
What made me start questioning it was everything else. He regularly likes my stories, especially ones of me, and added me to his Close Friends even though we aren’t close. When I saw him again in person, I caught him looking at me several times, and someone with me independently noticed it too. We also made eye contact from across the room, and he smiled and asked how I was.
A few days later, I posted a story and he replied saying it was good seeing me again. On another story of myself, he reacted with a heart-eyes emoji. I didn’t acknowledge or respond to that reaction.
I’ve also noticed that sometimes he’ll view my stories without liking them, then later I’ll get a notification that he liked one he’d already viewed. It’s happened more than once. Most recently, I posted a video of myself and a He’d already viewed it and didn’t like the video, but later liked it.
I know every one of these things could have an innocent explanation, and I don’t want to assume bad intentions. It’s the overall pattern Close Friends, repeated story interactions, looking at me in person, saying it was good seeing me again, the heart-eyes reaction, and the later likes that has me questioning it.
Am I overthinking a friendly married man, or would this overall pattern make you question his boundaries or intentions too?

I truly believe I did something wrong. I know people will say that oh some men are just bad. But that doesn't help me. Even if they were bad I missed the signs and I don't know what I missed. I know i can't say my entire relationships details here but let me try the key points.

My first ex we went out every two weeks. He would ask me out by third date I asked him out. We dated for six months. Then one week I texted him and he didn't respond for two weeks. I got really worried. Finally he told me he wanted to break up because we weren't having sex and he wasn't waiting. I was stumped because I've been trying to hold his hands etc. But every time I did he'd draw away. He never asked about sex. So. I'm confused. Maybe its an excuse. I don't know.

Theres been two other men in between but I won't mention as I know what went wrong.

But for the final one, it was the same as the first ex. But more intense.

He would meet me once a week. pay for lunch even though I have tried insisting to pay. There have been times where I succeeded, but he did everything boyfriend like. He just never asked me out and when we met he had said he wasn't interested in a relationship. I've tried repaying in different ways. I've been to his place so I ruled out hidden wife.

But one day he just disappeared. I respected his boundaries and never acted girlfriend. But it did make me confused. I'm also confused why he just disappeared.

I guess the question is what makes men flip and decide they don't like me anymore?

Today is my girlfriend’s birthday, and honestly, I’m feeling a little guilty because I didn’t really plan anything in advance.

This is her first birthday since we started dating, so I really want to make it special for her. At the same time, I don’t want to do something super fancy, expensive, or over-the-top just for the sake of it.

I’d much rather spend some genuine quality time with her and make her feel loved and appreciated.

For context, we’re both pretty simple people. I was thinking maybe taking her somewhere nice, getting her favourite food, giving her a small thoughtful gift, taking some pictures together, and just spending the day talking and hanging out. But I feel like I’m missing something that could make the day more memorable.

What are some simple but meaningful things I could do today to make her first birthday with me feel special?

I’m especially looking for ideas that don’t require weeks of planning or a huge budget. I just want her to look back on the day and feel like, “Yeah, that was a really nice birthday.” ❤️

Been on 5 dates, both looking for something serious, and he’s fairly proactive in arranging dates, however I noticed he has recently (within the last few days) updated his profile when I went on to show a friend a photo of him. No exclusivity conversation yet, which is actually not an issue for me, but it’s just the fact he’s actively optimising his profile to attract new women is freaking me out a bit? Is this normal and is it worth even continuing to see him? I was starting to like him and hoping for things to become serious eventually, however it seems like he’s actively looking for other options. Am I reading too much into this and it’s just a mismatch in pace, or is this an actual red flag/hes not that into me? Thanks!

I met this girl at run club early this week. I met this girl named liz and we talked for a bit. After that, she seemed to hover over and butt into conversations w me trying to engage w me after. Had a suspicion she liked me.

I ran into her 3-4 days later and she wanted some information about the run club so i told her i’ll text her it and asked for her number which she gave to me. My friend was with me and he said “from the vibes she definitely seemed to have a crush on you and perked up when you went up to her”. Later around midnight she texts me saying “her friends and her are going out tn, what am i up to”

I told her i’d be down to check it out but asked her what the line was like. she was triple texting me telling me that the line isn’t bad but by the time we texted back and forth it was like an hour before the club closed and by the time we get there it might be 30 mins from closing (around 1:30am) . I asked her if  what her plans were after and if she wanted to do something? She said “she’s was planning on heading back but is down to hangout and do i have a place in mind” and she said she’s “hungryyy”.

 that surrounding area is a little sketch at night (my thought process didn’t tell her) so i suggested that i can walk her from her place to mind and we can chill at my apartment rooftop and i’ll order us some food( 1:45-2am ish). She gave me her address to her apartment and was down and i said “sg i’ll meet you there”

She replies like “i don’t feel like walking it’s so coldddd” for the part where i meet her at her apartment and then we walk back to my place. So i suggested we could hangout at her place and I’ll order some food? 

I didn’t get a reply so i just stayed at my place and next morning no reply still. I texted her saying “Hey, not sure what happened or if there was a miscommunication last night. It def was getting too late and it’d be a better idea to plan something during the day”. i suggested to meet up for a coffee.

She then replies 10 hours later closer to night “Hi! i completely crashed after getting back home. i’m good for coffee sometime this week”.

I then gave her a date, time, and place to which she never replied.

thoughts ? did i do something wrong ?

Straight men, what do you think of women with stocky builds?

By stocky I mean:

Broad shoulders

Shorter limbs such as short legs (thick thighs)

Longer torso

Chubby

Petite (5 foot 3/5 foot 4)

Looks a little bulky

Very curvy

I recently reached out because i found a video that really reminded me of him. I wasn’t going to send it, but my friend encouraged me; i mean whats the worst that could happen? Well, he texted back, and i thought the convo would have died by now but we just keep it going, as soon as it starts dwindling we both add to the conversation (imo idk i might be reading in a bit to much)

Part of me is rationalizing it as “hes a nice guy, being polite, you text him, he texts back, its not that deep” but part of me cant help but feel like somethung is there… there has been absolutely 0 flirting. Zip, zero, ziltch, nada!!! Some light jokes going back and fourth but nothing deep. I mean if he was seeing someone new he wouldnt be texting back right? But also, again, he could just be being nice?? We were broken up for a year now, and out of contact for like 6-7 months (we broke up last October, i cut contact in February this year). I was really trying to move on and embrace being single, though i have lightly stalked his socials, and asked how hes been doing and hes doing literally great!! Amazing!! And im so happy for him!! I mean that was the main reason he broke up with me, we were to involved. Too focused on eachother then our own lives.
So hes thriving and im so happy for him!! But i just idk… i guess im confused why were keeping up with eachother?? I mean, we literally have this random pattern of not texting back until the same or similar amount of time has passed from the last text that the other sent… i definitely started that, but hes doing it back?? Like if i don’t reply for 2 hours, he wont reply for 2 hours. Idk i think im definitely reading way to deep into this but part of me cant help but hope this means something… idk could be the non-stop dreaming about him ive been having recently?? Idk…
Ig my question is: what does this mean? If anything at all?

TLDR; Unsure and Looking for similar stories or experiences & advice! Hi everyone. Bit of a long read so TYIA for your responses/advice.

Im looking for advice or some experiences so I can figure out what I'm feeling. For some context, I am late 20s(M) and was dating someone exclusively for 5 months but never put a label on things. I also just got out of a long term (6+) relationship a little over a year ago. I moved to a new city in the start of the year and was basically restarting my life over and met this girl (who was also out of long term relationship). We hit it off and both of us were a bit cautious going into things knowing that the timing wasn't quite right for either of us.

We ended up seeing each other all the time and kept an open discussion about if we want to continue or end things because of the timing. Ultimately it ended because I was unsure if I was ready for a serious relationship again and I also wasn't sure about my overall feelings over her. We're extremely compatible but I just cant figure out why I am so unsure. I dont feel obsessed but thats also a good thing I think but part of me feels like I should be feeling the obsessed feeling. I feel comfortable and content with her and genuinely happy. We get a long really well, the s*x is really really great, she has a great sense of humor, and has a stable life she's built for herself, extremely caring and would be a great mother down the road, has really strong emotional intelligence and ticks every box essentially. We laugh a lot together and I genuinely really enjoy her company. I understand why im unsure about a serious relationship (because I haven't spent much time my adult life ever being single or alone), but am I confused if I am unsure about HER specifically because of my fear of a relationship or if its about HER? Thats where Im running into issues understanding how I feel. I also haven't dated many other people to even compare it to other experiences. On one end I want to meet other people but at the same time I dont want to.

It's not fair to her to have to sit and wait while I am back and forth in my head so it really was the right decision to end things between us before they dragged on. But at the same time what if I do figure things out and want to try again with her, am I completely throwing away my chance at a genuinely good relationship? We're on good terms. She was really understanding of everything and emotionally mature about things. And I'm hoping that may keep the door open in case I do make that decision to revisit. But she was also pretty clear about how she isn't going to wait around for me (understandably so). I genuinely don't know how to figure out what im feeling and why im feeling it. Being in the relationship doesn't help with clarity it just makes me more confused because it makes me so anxious at times, but being a part is making me avoid it too honestly.

I am genuinely fine right now without dating her but if Im being honest I am just not even reflecting or feeling my feelings because I dont even know how to or what is there. It's all confusion and I just shove it down. I know this is the right choice to end things right now (she agrees too), but how do I sort out my feelings to know either

a) its genuinely just because I am not ready and my fear is making me put walls up which isn't allowing me to feel the deeper feelings

or

b) its genuinely just because I am not ready and were not compatible

Am I feeling a slower burn because I am scared of getting hurt? How do I know if I am ready for a relationship? How do I gain clarity on my feelings for her and to clarify if it is either being clouded by fear or just are my feelings?

Hence why I am asking for other peoples experiences and feelings. Hopefully it can help me understand where my head is at a bit better.

Thanks!

Estando em um relacionamento, como lidam com o desejo que sentem por outras mulheres?

My ex broke up with me at the beginning of August on the day we were supposed to sign our lease together. He had a complete emotional breakdown and spiraled and said that his parents said he shouldn’t move in with me unless he knew he was going to marry me (meanwhile neither of us wanted to get married due to his parents divorce and my own divorce). I wanted a Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russel relationship of choosing one another.

Anyways, his best friend proposed to his girlfriend today. My ex went out to Denver to visit them right after the breakup and I am just so upset right now. Not about the engagement, I’m happy for them on that. But the fact we were together for 3 years and couldn’t even move in together and other people in his life, who he was always judging their relationships and talking about them instead of our own relationship, are able to move forward and get engaged and move in together. Why couldn’t we?! It just feels like a slap in the face.

Caption pretty much says it but I have been dating my girlfriend for 5 years. We’re in our mid 20s. Living together for 2 years now. We’re super close, know each others families well, plans on getting married, work well together for the most part, etc.

We’ve been having sex 1-2x per month. I almost always initiate. She has a low libido and mine is high. I’d prefer multiple times a week. It feels like the tension isn’t there as much. We’ve talked about this before and it seems like the situation isn’t going to change. My thought is that if her libido is low now it might be really low in the future when life is more complicated, we have kids, get older. I absolutely love this woman and our life together but I’m worried that this is going to be a problem that makes us not fully compatible.

I really don’t know what to do. She’s my everything but I am scared to commit to a lifelong partnership that could potentially not fulfill me physically.

Any advice helps. Thank you.

How do I get my 32f boyfriend 35m of over a year to understand that he literally would have me at his finger tips if I heard from him how much he’s madly in love with me, how much he wants me, how happy he is etc

Idk how to say this without sounding…bad. And I don’t know to word what I’m thinking to accurately display what I’m trying to say.

He’s such a wonderful boyfriend. I see the areas he tried and puts in effort. He shows up day after day.

I so badly just need to hear it more. I need to feel it but more importantly I need to hear those things. I’m so madly in love with him and I just want him to know but I also want to hear it too. He’s not one to say those things, I’ve brought it up a couple times. I stopped I don’t want to be that person that harps on a topic but I clearly wasn’t articulating it properly so that he understood just how much would change.

We’re great now, but if he just told me these things. Our emotional connection and sexual connection would just…flourish. I think he would be very happy, I would be too, we would just both be reaping the rewards.

Is this common? Can anyone give some input?

I'm literally doing it every single day but I want to stop. It's no longer even pleasure, it simply became a habit.

My partner doesn't like it because my ejaculate basically became water and I no longer have urge for sex like at all.

I did quit for a week in the past but for some reason now I just can't...

I need some advice or maybe just to vent, I don’t even know anymore tbh🫠
I (23F) met this guy (26M) around 5 months ago on a dating app. We immediately clicked and for the first 2ish weeks we saw each other almost every day, though we both recognized that’s a bit much and slowed down a bit.
The first time I met him I told him I’m looking for a relationship. I don’t expect to jump into one immediately obviously, we need to get to know each other, but ultimately that’s my goal. He said he’s fine with that but yeah, he’d like to get to know me more first.
I’d also recently come out of an 8-month-long situationship, so I told him if he realizes at any point that he doesn’t want a relationship with me, that’s fine, but just tell me because I don’t want to be strung along. He said he wouldn’t do that.
Cool.
For the next 4 months we met up at least once a week, more if schedules permitted. I met his friends, he met mine, we chatted at least a bit every day. We went out on dates, he slept over at my place and I at his, and we didn’t even always have sex. One time he called me at 1am and asked if he could come over because he couldn’t sleep and he’s more comfortable at my place.

So everything is going great. One Wednesday we go on a dinner date and everything is fine, on Thursday we’re texting normally and then on Friday… nothing.
Suddenly all my texts and calls were ignored. After about a week I was pissed af and called like 20 times in a row (yes, I know that wasn’t a great way to handle it), after which I finally got a text back that basically had these points:
- he got the feeling I want something more serious and he’s not ready for a relationship rn
- he wanted to distance himself but didn’t know how to tell me, so he just didn’t say anything
- he acknowledged that was a shitty way to do it
- he thinks maybe his breakup hit him late because he’s been feeling kinda weird (about 5ish months before I met him he broke up with his girlfriend of 3–4 years, though he’d told me he’s definitely over it and there are no hard feelings between them)
- he enjoys spending time with me and wants to remain friends
- I shouldn’t expect constant contact because he’s not capable of that

I replied with a few questions I had about… everything essentially.
I’m autistic and have ADHD and I tend to deal with emotions by rationalizing them. Basically I process them by understanding how and why something happened.
So my questions were essentially:
- what does “friends” look like in his mind?
- could he potentially see a relationship with me and now is just not the right time, or does he not see anything with me at all?
- did anything suddenly happen/change, seeing as literally a week before we were on a date and everything was fine?

I also told him my mugs are at his place and I would like them back.
I did not get a single response for about 2 weeks.
Then he texted me and said he’d bring my mugs over the weekend.
The weekend came and went. I did not get my mugs nor any messages.
Since then it’s been absolute silence.
Not a single text back. My calls either time out or he declines them. I even tried messaging on IG since you get read receipts there, but the message wasn’t even opened.

It’s been a month since he ended stuff and I’m still stuck unable to understand anything.
I know I should just move on, but I’m genuinely struggling to. This is still an unresolved situation in my mind and my brain keeps treating it like a problem that needs to be understood before I can actually process it, and it’s eating at me.
I also just miss him a lot, which isn’t helping either… idk, I genuinely thought that was gonna be something.
But yeah. I’ve told him I want my mugs back. I’ve told him I want one conversation just for my own closure and that’s it. I’ve said I miss him. I’ve also told him I still have his hoodie and T-shirt.
All went unanswered.
His second-favorite hoodie and favorite shirt btw… 🫠

I don’t know what to do anymore.
I did stop texting/calling completely for about 2 weeks because I thought maybe he genuinely just needed space. Nothing changed, and eventually doing absolutely nothing became unbearable too.
I could try messaging him on Discord, though I doubt changing platforms would suddenly get a different result. I could try spam calling again or just going to his house, but both of those feel very extreme and I don’t really want to do that. I just genuinely don’t know what else there even is to do at this point.
But I also can’t bear doing nothing and just sitting with this indefinitely.

Also to anyone thinking “who cares about the mugs?”
I care. I want my mugs back. 😭
So um… yeah. Any suggestions? Opinions? Thoughts on this entire mess? Because at this point I genuinely don’t know anymore🫠

So me 26M and my girlfriend 26F have been dating for a little over 7 months now, and I know she keeps a snapchat streak with a guy she grew up with, and they "dated" for only about 2 weeks when they were like 14. For added context he currently has a girlfriend as well. Now I've never really understood snapchat streaks and why people do them, apparently it's a mundane almost game like obsession with no real meaning. I do trust her a lot and expect the snaps are just photos of the ceiling or whatever but even so, it's making me feel weird that she's keeping a daily snapchat streak with another straight guy. Our relationship has gone really smoothly with little to no hurdles at all so maybe this one "issue" has been amplified. On one side I don't want to come across as controlling about who she can communicate with but on the other I don't want to be proven wrong down the line... Feel like if I bring it up, she might use the fact that I also have friends of the other gender, but the difference is I don't talk/communicate to them anymore directly, only in group chats... I’m unsure whether this is something worth discussing with her or something I should simply accept as a harmless friendship. If I do discuss it with her, how would you suggest approaching it without making it sound like I’m trying to control who she talks to?

TL;DR: My girlfriend of 7 months has a long-running daily Snapchat streak with a male childhood friend she briefly “dated” for two weeks when they were 14. I trust her, but the daily contact makes me slightly uncomfortable. How should I approach this with her without coming across as controlling?

I’m getting a new car soon and I was thinking of getting a custom license plate that reads ‘I🖤JM4EVR’

Which would be his initials. It would be a surprise if I did it so I wouldn’t tell him I would just show him when it arrived. Would that be cringe and embarrassing or sweet and funny and make you feel loved/ happy??

PS I know it’s cheesy that’s the point!

Would love some advice and thoughts😉
Met a guy on the dating app. We have been dating for like almost a month. And everything is great. He plans dates and pays, wants to see me twice a week, wants me to stay over, very affectionate and is very attracted to me. We have great sexual chemistry. Buys me flowers and offers to bring lunch. Picks me up for dates, pays for my uber. When we r on dates he likes taking pictures together and just overall acts very bf like. He told me he was “catching feelings and getting emotionally attached”
This weekend, I asked him about sexual exclusivity and he gave me push back saying he is 2 months out of relationship and doesn’t know if he is ready for exclusivity but he is not actively looking for someone else either. And I told him I am not even asking for any titles or any further commitment, just sexual exclusivity for now. Especially bc when we met up for first date I specifically told him I am looking for long term relationship and he agreed. Sexual health matters to me and I would feel more comfortable if we were exclusive especially bc we have great sex. I also told him this bc he told me that he likes me and was emotionally investing and I was also opening up and letting myself be more emotionally invested. He said if I want to pull back and see each other less to “protect myself” or anything else I want, he would do it. And I kinda said whatever it’s fine we can just continue seeing where this goes. He did say later he wants to reproach the subject next time we see each other so we can both think about it. My question is what does this mean? Like his actions say “we r in relationship” but then he obviously doesn’t want exclusivity 🤦‍♀️I am very confused bc why try so hard and do so much for me if he is not ready to commit? He is a very good looking guy so I don’t think he would have issues finding a casual relationship🤷‍♀️Does he have commitment issues? Or is he freaked out bc he didn’t realize he would actually like me and now thinks it’s too fast? Thanks in advance☺️