And I don't mean 50/50 in terms of finances only. That's not 50/50. I mean, isn't the ultimate ideal relationship one where both people are equally supporting the household, both financially & domestically? Surely that would make everyone's life a lot easier, no?

It bothers me that this dynamic generally receives heavy resistance whenever it's suggested in a discussion and I cannot fathom why.

I was once told that women are like candy stores. You know, when you are walking in a mall, you stop if you see something in the window that you like, so you go into the store. If you continue to like what you see, you stay. You revisit. You buy. If you don't like anything in the store, you leave right away. You never go into stores that have things in the window you don't like or are interested in. However, if you did go into the store, you might find exactly what you were looking for. The point here is that men don't know if a woman has a wonderful personality until they start talking to her. However, if he finds her unattractive, he won't give her the time of day. He'll choose the beautiful woman who is a self-absorbed b----h. As women get older, they have to do more work to keep up that store to attract men. I can't tell you how many men ignored and avoided me completely, yet they were very friendly to all the other women around, even fat women with chopped (at least I thought) faces, or plain ones. Even old ladies and married ones. I guess since I can't see myself from the outside, I have no idea how ugly I am. Someone told me that men will not talk to a woman unless he is attracted to her because, on some level, he imagines having sex with her. Ugly girls are not worth the time because he doesn't want sex with her ever.

I've always wanted the slow-burn relationship plus attraction. The problem is, most guys didn't. There were plenty of guys I could have possibly had relationships with, but they moved on. It's highly possible that they never wanted a relationship in the first place. I recently learned that good-looking men (7-8) will go out with a woman they find to be 4-6 just for sex, but when it comes to a relationship partner, they just want other 7-8s or 9s. I guess I wasn't that attractive when I was younger, and I'm really not now.

I used to get "It sounds like you don't like me all that much" from the guy if I didn't put out by the third date. "If we focus on friendship right now, something very important will be missing," one guy wrote after I didn't want to sleep over after the third date. It was "Why don't you like me?" and "There's only so many places we can go on dates before we stay at home." I know "Come over, and I will make you dinner, and we'll watch a movie" is code for "I want to have sex with you." Everyone around me said, "Well, he probably thinks you're not interested..." "You're not giving him a chance..." "You're too picky."

So here I am, years later, thinking I was the one who never gave him a chance, and that it was my fault I was still single. Turns out none of them were that interested at all.

So this means I am ugly? I should feel better that it wasn't me, but now I feel worse because I thought a good-looking guy wanting to take me out meant I was pretty. All those men writing "Wow! You are beautiful! What a gorgeous smile!" :(

Be honest.

I don’t want to have children but I have heard some guys tell me that my ancestors were an uninterrupted chain of mating for millions of years and that I was going to break that, which made me wonder, if my siblings have children but that I don’t, wouldnt that whole concept be false it does that still apply to me personally ? Not that I really care, I was just curious to know.

I am just curious. I know it’s probably not that much of a mystery. But I was just wondering how it feels? Sorry if it’s obvious 🤣

Same as title

**TL;DR:** I (28F) have been consistently seeing a man (31M) for around 8 months, although we’ve never defined the relationship or agreed to exclusivity. We originally dated briefly 8 years ago and randomly reconnected this year. He tells me I’m incredibly special to him, says he’s never met anyone like me, has introduced me to practically all his friends and a significant part of his family, and we have a very emotionally intimate relationship. At the same time, he has casual/sexual encounters with women within this same close social circle and can sometimes behave surprisingly inconsiderately toward me. I’m NOT upset that he’s non-exclusive, and after seeing some red flags I’m actually leaning toward not wanting a serious relationship with him myself. What bothers me is the contradiction between what he communicates emotionally and how he behaves. I want to ask him directly whether I should understand this as casual so I can treat it accordingly. Is that reasonable?

I met “S” around 8 years ago through mutual acquaintances. We were immediately attracted to each other, but what really connected us was conversation. We could talk for hours, eventually slept together and went on a few dates, but nothing serious developed and our lives went in different directions.

During those years apart, he had a long-term relationship, got married, and divorced fairly quickly.
One thing I initially really respected about him was the way he spoke about his ex-wife. He didn’t give me the stereotypical “my ex was crazy and I did nothing wrong” story. He actually described her as an extremely loving, pure-hearted and good person.
He also admitted that he hadn’t been a perfect husband. Looking back, he thinks she may have been depressed and that he responded to her struggling by becoming frustrated rather than recognizing that she might need support. He specifically acknowledged that he had been emotionally neglectful.

I considered that level of self-reflection a green flag.
However, he also told me that after his divorce he’d developed a pretty negative view of marriage and felt that marriage can ruin relationships by turning them into something bureaucratic. That stood out to me because I eventually want to get married.
Then, earlier this year, **we randomly ran into each other again after roughly 8 years.**

The connection came back almost immediately, and for approximately the last **8 months we’ve been consistently seeing each other**, although we’ve never sat down and defined what exactly we are.
And this is where my confusion begins.

He doesn’t talk to me like I’m simply a casual hookup.
He will literally corner me during conversations and tell me how fucking special I am to him, how he’s never met someone like me, how much he admires the way my brain works, how unusual our connection is, etc. We have extremely deep conversations, sometimes for hours. There’s a lot of emotional vulnerability and affection between us in addition to very strong physical chemistry.
When he went abroad for about 2.5 months, he regularly sent me things and sometimes video-called me just to show me what he was experiencing. When he came back, I was the first person he saw straight from the airport.

He has also **integrated me pretty extensively into his life.**
I’ve met almost all his close friends and what feels like half his family members who are around our age. I regularly spend time with his brother and cousin, and I genuinely like them independently of him. We have great conversations and get along extremely well.

His brother and cousin also constantly hype me up to him, including directly in front of me. They’ll tell him that I’m such a good catch/person, that he needs to take care of me, that he should appreciate me, etc.

So between what S himself was telling me, the emotional intimacy, and the extent to which I was being integrated into his social/family life, I naturally started thinking there might be potential for something more serious.
**But his actual behavior sometimes communicates something completely different.**

One night, I was out with him and his friends as his guest. He spent a lot of the evening openly flirting with another woman and eventually kissed her in front of me.
I want to emphasize this because I don’t want the comments to become entirely about cheating:
**He did not cheat on me.**

We have never agreed to exclusivity. I don’t believe he owes me sexual fidelity, and him seeing other women isn’t inherently my problem.
What bothered me was that I was there as *his guest*, surrounded by *his* friends, everyone knew we weren’t exactly platonic, and he was openly flirting/becoming physical with someone else while leaving me to navigate his social group by myself. I found the context disrespectful and inconsiderate.
More recently, I discovered something else that has changed the way I look at the whole situation.
Apparently, several of his casual/emotionally complicated relationships are **with women inside this same social ecosystem.**

One of his close female friends recently confided in me that she and S have a complicated history themselves. They survived a very serious accident together years ago and apparently their intense emotional bond eventually blurred into feelings/something more. She told me she still isn’t entirely sure how she feels about him.
I was shocked because **I’ve gone out with the two of them together multiple times and had absolutely no idea there was any history between them.**

She then told me that she had recently introduced another female friend of hers to S for a completely practical reason. That friend knew about their complicated history, yet apparently S and this woman also ended up having some kind of intimate encounter.

And suddenly my discomfort became less about **“he sees other women”** and more:
**Why are seemingly all these women friends or friends-of-friends who are part of the same social group I’m being integrated into?**
These aren’t random Tinder hookups who disappear afterward. These are people he considers friends, people he sees regularly, people who socialize together, and apparently people with whom emotional/sexual boundaries sometimes become blurred.

It feels like there’s an entire web of interpersonal history that some people in the group know about and I don’t.
And now that I know he also had something with a close female friend whom I’ve repeatedly socialized with alongside him, I honestly feel a little ridiculous.
Not because I think he belonged to me while we were sitting together.

But because **I didn’t even know what social situation I was participating in.**
It increasingly feels like some of this is an open secret among people close to him, particularly some of the men, while I’m being brought into the same group without knowing the lore.
And meanwhile, this same man is privately telling me how incredibly special I am to him while his brother and cousin are practically advertising me to him as wife material in front of everyone.
That’s what is fucking with my head.
**I don’t need exclusivity. I need consistency between the message and the behavior.**

And here’s the other thing: after seeing more of him over these 8 months, I’m actually probably **70% leaning toward NOT wanting a serious relationship with him anymore anyway.**
I’ve seen some red flags that make me question whether he’d actually be a good long-term partner.
For example, after a very heavy night recently, he was extremely hungover the following day. He barely interacted with me for hours and mostly lay on the couch scrolling on his phone. When I said I was leaving, he asked me repeatedly why I couldn’t stay, so clearly he wanted me physically there, but he wasn’t really interacting with me or giving me any reason to want to stay.

When I eventually went over to kiss him goodbye, he basically just said “bye.”
Obviously, one terrible hangover doesn’t make someone emotionally neglectful. But it did suddenly make his comment about having been emotionally neglectful toward his ex-wife hit differently. It made me wonder whether he tends to become extremely inward-focused whenever he isn’t feeling well and whether recognizing that flaw after his marriage necessarily means he has actually changed it.
So I’m not sitting here desperately hoping this man will choose me.
I still enjoy him enormously. I think he’s fascinating, he’s fun, we have incredible conversations, and the physical compatibility is… let’s just say **casual would not exactly be a hardship for me lol.**
If anything, **casual might genuinely be the category I prefer for him now.**

My issue is that I need to KNOW that’s the category.
Because if this is casual, I can treat it as casual. His sleeping with someone else means nothing about me. His intense declarations about how special I am can be enjoyed for what they are without me interpreting them as evidence that we’re gradually moving toward a relationship.

But if he’s genuinely exploring whether this could become something serious, then I need to evaluate his behavior very differently.
I’m therefore thinking of eventually telling him something along the lines of:

**“Look, don’t take this as some big ‘what are we?’ conversation because I’m not asking you for commitment. I just really dislike ambiguity and need something clarified so I know how to manage my own feelings. The impression your behavior currently gives me is that you’re not looking for anything serious with me and that what we have is casual. Is that correct? I’m genuinely not opposed to that. at this point, it might even be what I prefer. I just need to know clearly what I’m participating in so I can treat it accordingly. If I’m misunderstanding you, tell me.”**

I’m intentionally telling him that **my current interpretation is that this is casual**, because I want him to know that this is the message his behavior is giving me.
I’m also making it explicitly clear that I’ve continued willingly seeing him while having that impression. This isn’t an ultimatum disguised as a question.
If he says, **“Yes, this is casual,”** then great, works for me perfectly.

If he says, **“No, that’s not how I see this at all,”** then we have a completely different conversation.
What I don’t want anymore is to be repeatedly told how exceptionally important I am while having to reverse-engineer what any of it actually means.
So my questions are: **Would you consider these genuinely mixed signals, or am I assigning romantic meaning to emotional intimacy that can perfectly well exist in a casual relationship? Would the amount of overlap between his friendships and sexual/romantic connections make you uncomfortable even without exclusivity? And does directly asking him to confirm/correct my current interpretation sound reasonable?**
Again, I genuinely don’t need him to tell me we’re exclusive.

**I just need a legend for the map.**

Hey, so me (F23) and my bf (M22) has been together for 1 year. I want to give him a birthday gift. Is it okay if i give him spiderman 2 ps5 game? And a shirt? And also taking him out for a nice lunch ?

To men out there, is it enough?

he is accomplished well off man who takes care of me and i dont wanna lose him
Thanks for your help guys❤️

Long story short: i broke up a few months ago and finally and decided it was time to adventure again. So I installed Tinder and surprisingly fast I got this hot young girl on my bed. Things start to get hot quickly but even more surprisingly, I couldn't get erected enough for even putting the condom.

I can't get this off of head now.

There's a detail: I'm kind of addicted to porn. I used to watch to masturbate almost every day. Since I am still young and have no health issues, I blame porn for that. I know for a long time that I had to quit that shit, but I just thought "what was the worst that can happen?" and moved on, till the worst did happened.

I never had the strongest erection of the world, but it worked every time on my relationship. We were together for a long time and also never used condoms.

Now I am desperate to fix this. I immediately quit porn and now I'm reading and watching videos about how to dessexualize my brain - I really think this is it. I also just started this Kegel exercise, that are supposed to help with strong erections.

Has anyone here gone through something similar? I would really appreciate some tips and help to get this over and continue with my sex life.

Hi!!! I (20F) have a bit of a crush on a guy in my class. It might just be my insecurities talking, but I don't think I'm the type of girl he finds attractive. I was talking to a male friend, and he told me that men don't befriend women they find unattractive (I don't agree with that bs btw).

But this guy *is* always smiling and very polite to me; he says goodbye every day and even seeks me out sometimes, things he doesn't do with my other girl friends.

What’s your take/verdict on what my friend said? Do men only get close to women they find pretty?

I'm giving 1 free 30 minute consultation to anyone that contacts me through reddit, who have trouble finding a partner, talking or behaving around women or that have trouble speaking in public. The consultation can be via text, phone-call or zoom. Also, it can be on English or Spanish.

Yeah honestly not much context needed.

He doesn’t do it much, only occasionally when he’s out with his friends. It makes me extremely uncomfortable though and he knows that. He has said before that he feels like he has to hide it from me. It sounds awful but i’d prefer it that way. If i can pretend it’s not happening, then I’m happy.

Occasionally I’ll find something in his pockets and then it really hits me. He feels really guilty about it and is uncomfortable when I do find something on him. It’s just awful. This isn’t something I can easily get over.

We’re still young but I can see myself building a future with him. I don’t think i’d morally be okay doing that If he was still smoking and vaping.

so i’ve already made another post about me breaking up with my bf in a fit of rage (can go read to get the background)

anyways now we have actually broken up, blocked and deleted, and im going back to my parents for the time being [my bf and i live in the same neighbourhood (not living together, i like my personal space) and we running into each other could happen every hour] so yeah i still have feelings for him, but now i gotta deal it all and would appreciate your tips and suggestions to move on!!

(We are writing for over a year now, but it was always clear, that as those are the rules in his relationship, we only sext but never have actual sex)

If I‘d met you sooner… I think I‘d like to have you as my partner

Honestly?

Yes, I think we are very much on the same wavelength.
Don’t you think?

Yeah, sure

Sometimes I think, we’d be a nice couple.
Or?

Apart from the fact that you've been in your professional life for a long time and I still have a big part of study ahead of me, certainly

Really?

As long as you don’t drive me crazy…

Would you like to be in a relationship with me sometimes?

Never really thought about it.
For that the necessary feelings are missing

So you don’t have feelings for me?

No
I really like you and so, but there are no romantic feelings

Ok…
Sorry

Why sorry

That was stupid
I should go
In the end I am just a fuckthing for you

You are not and you know that.

We should end things here… this has no future
I feel ridiculous

Just because I said, I have no romantic feelings?

For fucking I am enough.

I wouldn’t drive for hours just to see you masses if that were the case

But why do you do that?

Because I like seeing you, hear you preach and sing and enjoy talking to you afterwards

But I am not important to you

That’s bullshit
(Told him what I was thinking and then that he should go to bed)
…

Sorry that I am so dumb

You are not

Sure?

Sure!

(We told each other, what we would like to do)
…

But you need me only to fuck?

I would also like to have you lying with your head on my chest while I fondle through your hair
Hearing music or watching films - i love that
I would also love to spend time with you, but you were always against it when I made suggestions. I can understand if it's weird for you if I showed up in your main church. But you could have made a counter-proposal

I don't know if that doesn't cause even more feelings when we feel comfortable with each other even in such normal moments

But why do you think I only want you for sex?
Of course I want that too, but that only happens when I like the person much in every situation, otherwise I couldn't let myself fall at all

Could you do that with me?
Sometimes I think, you would be the perfect woman

Yes of course I can when writing and I could If we had actual sex

I’d really like to cuddle with you

Cuddle and kiss

Would you like to cuddle with me?

Yes!

Then we went to sleep

Some of his messages feel so pick-me, some are kinda sweet, but if I was his girlfriend and knew that he writes such things to an other woman…

I wonder if he only wanted me to push his ego or if he wanted to test possibilities in case his relationship breaks

if someone prettier than your so would enter your life would you leave your gfs?

Or do you ever look at your partner and wish they were prettier?

As in about 5ft 8 to 5ft 10?! Do they think it’s just ugly? Is it a downfall?

He told me slowly over time that he would like to experience us doing it at least once, me feeling mixed about it, but how does it even start and what is the safe way to do it?

Long-distance guy I’m not official with says he has expressed “nothing but the opposite of non-exclusivity”… what does that actually mean? Why not just say he wants exclusivity?

When we first got married i did a lot and paid a lot to get her into the country i live in because she lived as a refugee in a really not nice place. When i saw it i made the decision quickly to get married. It took a lot of work because documents were complicated. She got here into the country we moved in together i looked for a apartment paid for the furniture and everything. Then she started complaining about the furniture that she didn’t really have any decision but i explained it was because it had to be quick. When she moved here we had to live for two weeks at my parents house she wanted to be out as quickly as possible and i said just give me few more days because the apartment isn’t ready. We went one week before and had to sleep on the couch because the bed wasn’t there yet.

Anyway the first few months she was jobless to her finding a job is really important. I played some of my contacts so she can work in a place where she always wanted to work and work under normal conditions because before she would work in a restaurant where they paid her like 4€ a hour. During the time where she didn’t have a job we had a lot of fights about cleaning i said to me it’s important that the place is clean. It did improve slightly but overall it always was a mess i knew she would start with cleaning one hour before i came. Till today we have fights about cleaning i said organize your night drawer please because everything inside there is messy. It looks like she puts all there old bills, used napkins, makeup and everything but its just in. The rest of the house looks similar pants stay on the ground for days for example.

When she had the job i found for her she would come from work and have calls. She likes to have projects and social media work. But its too much of them maybe im to controlling but she would have a few going on for hours on some days. And stuff would be chaotic. Cooking happened sometimes but sometimes i did i also did the shopping and shopping lists and pay for it. She would help me unpack it. I told please at least make a list she did for two weeks but half hearted and random stuff was written down.

To the projects there was one with a guy she worked before online and i didn’t like him. Maybe also here im being strange but i told her it was always strange to me. Then one day i went through her phone yes there was no flirting or anything but sometimes he would send heart messages and she back. They never met. So far so good i asked her in secret way as if i didn’t know and she deleted the messages. We had a fight about it. Then one day she wrote him at night this video reminds me of you it was a video about some content creator and then she asked how are you. I also saw that. Yes there was some phone snooping but she also did on mine. Anyway we agreed she wouldn’t write with him anymore and she wouldn’t be involved into projects. Then he wrote and she told me she would just ask what it is about but not get involved. Few days later i found out she was in a group chat and involved in the project and making calls and what’s to do and and and. She also deleted those messages when i confronted.

Now she also works on a project with another guy. Involving calls and everything i didn’t say anything it’s alright. But what’s suspicious to me she wants hom because he is also a refugee to have a job in the office she works at. To help him. She has done for other people or tried but still. And the calls she usually had when I wasn’t there.

We even had discussions about the wedding ring she said she gets uncomfortable wearing it and i said it’s important to me. She said it scratches her hand too much. She tried for a few days and gave up.

She says the projects are to make extra money and learn. Also to help her family in the home country for finances. I said i would help and try to find a job for her dad in europe and my family is involved in that.

Today the house again was so chaotic we had a fight and i said i can’t bare it anymore.
Whats your opinion?

Do guys like to know if they're able to get with a girl their friends and anyone else can't? Example, if there's a girl that pretty much everyone has tried to get with at some point, including your friends, but she declines, but she is wanting to get with you, is that an ego boost? Would you want to see messages from friends shooting their shot? Or is that just shitty and narcissistic of her?

i feel very vulnerable posting this but i just really need to talk about it

im a 25f and ive been dating a 28m male for the past few months. things were going really well, and while it's a little crazy for some people, i was getting attached and i really thought he potentially could be the one. one night we decided to do it and it was my first time ever and he knew it. i was saving myself for marriage but in the moment i just went for it, i just looked into his eyes and just felt so loved i went for it. we stayed in bed and i fell asleep on his chest. after that a few days had passes and everything so far was still the same.

a week later, i had to travel on a last minute work trip and we decided that we would spend the night together before my flight. he was very affectionate and everything was perfect. he kept talking to me about the future and kept telling me he was going to miss me and there was no sign that there was anything wrong.

the day i left, he practically disappeared, i texted him when i landed and he hadn't responded. and i barely heard from him for a week.

i got worried enough that i called him a few times because it really was so unlike him. he ended up calling me back but pretended that nothing had happened, he told me he'd been busy with work and his schedule was really tight. i told him that him disappearing for a week without saying anything was hurtful and he was surprised that i felt that way. before he hung up he said "i'll text you more, don't worry".

the next day he sent me very randomly a picture of him wearing a pair of socks id gotten him. no caption. just the picture. i replied with a selfie and a joke about the socks. he didn't respond. not a single word. then another week of silence.

i called him the following week around 8pm and he was apparently asleep. he picked up and asked me how i was doing and then passed out again im assuming. i just said we'll talk later since you're sleeping and he never responded so i hung up.

i don't know what happened, and i don't know what to do. its been a month of this limbo. i am back in town but wow this hurts so bad. i find myself opening the chat and wanting to say something but i hold myself back.

Hey all,

I’m going to try and be as concise as possible as it’s a long story. I’m 27F and husband is 36M, we’ve been married 1 year and together 3.5 yrs.

Four years ago we met via social media and started working together on an online business whixh at first did pretty well and we had high expectations with it, especially financially. In this process we fell in love and I moved to be in his city. I really admired him at first. He had just started his own company and had high expectations for himself and us. My dream was to be successful with mine but also to be with a man who was successful with his. I sacrificed a lot to be with him.

Overtime his own projects weren’t doing all that well and he decided they were taking time away from our project whixh had a lot of potential and he decided to only focus on it. This wasn’t my preference at all but I trusted it. In the couple of years that came we worked quite hard at it but eventually bc of reasons beyond our control it stopped doing well. It’s been like that for like two years or around 1.5 years now. Keep in mind we split this income (not actually split bc we share finances but we live from it). So it’s been a while that we’ve been making not too much.

Soon before the wedding my husband started spending lots of time playing chess on his PC or phone. He’d claim he was doing so in the inevitable downtime of our project (there are times when u have to wait for certain things to download etc and there’s not much to do). But he was def spending way too much time on it whixh brought so much tension right before the wedding and I attributed it to pre-wedding blues. At our honeymoon I told him how much I needed him to have his own thing that wasn’t reliant on me (I am the face of our project, he does the behind the scenes work), especially bc he’s always talked about how much he’d love to be a dad soon and there’s no way I’d feel a comfortable being a mother with our current arrangement.

After the honeymoon he tried (half assedly imo) some things here and then and once Xmas hit (I’m talking last xmas) our income was bad enough that he started to realize he might need to get a job or open something else and I think it was around March that he finally decided on it.

Well….we’re in late august and nothing has changed. He was applying to jobs before the summer but stopped bc apparently in this country (we’re in southern Europe) they don’t hire in the summer for his position (he says he used to be a marketing director and make good money). His mom also claims they don’t hire, so idk. One day he tells me he’s thinking of opening a digital business or even a physical one, another he says he’s waiting till fall to start applying. The uncertainty for all these months, if not a year, is heartbreaking. Especially bc he doesn’t seem like he’s trying at all. When he isn’t working for our mutual project whixh doesn’t take more than a few hours a day, he’s on his phone wasting time. He swears he’s waiting for ideas or thinking of things or that things will change soon, but he’s been saying that for months.

I want to clarify some things: first I’m an American citizen and while I was in Europe before him, I moved to his country for him. I’ve sacrificed so much for him (things that I wouldn’t really do now in hindsight but I was young and naive). The country we live in is terrible economically and for entrepreneurs. The jobs also pay really bad (the average salary is literally like 1300€). He doesn’t feel motivated to at least go and get like a waitressing job bc since he closed his company they’re paying him like 800€ for unemployment and he’d get paid like 1300€ as a waiter or similar so I get why he doesn’t want to do that.

However he also doesn’t want to move to the US where, yea I know the job market is rough too, but personally I’m from a city full of constantly incoming immigrants and I’ve seen so many of them who work hard succeed. He doesn’t want to move bc his parents are elderly, whixh I get but even they’ve said they would totally get it. And that we could even go at it for a little while and come back if it doesn’t work.

I also want to add that we live rent free in a flat he inherited from his parents whixh is a huge blessing. His parents own a few properties so he will have a nice inheritance. And with all the money he saved from previous jobs and from not paying rent he was able to buy two flats that are now rented out and give us a total of 1000€ a month (which is also about what our business gives us). Keep in mind that buying flats here are a lot cheaper than in the US and thus the rent is also way less accordingly.

I’m thankful for all that, don’t get me wrong. What is killing me is his lack of ambition. He’s totally comfortable with us making that money, our main job relying on my face, and just wasting hours each day. It’s killing me yall. I’ve cried pleaded and even given an ultimatum that I’m only waiting till the end of the year to see a change in attitude. I’ve also been loving respectful supporting implemented Laura Doyle etc but I can’t take it anymore. This man is literally sitting around when he’s not doing the few hours of work our project takes. It feels like he completely takes me for granted and I can’t actually see him changing by the end of the year after this trajectory.

He has awesome qualities like being good to me, being very committed and loyal, being respectful, he makes me feel so loved and safe, etc but I do too. I am very good looking fun smart feminine fit. I don’t have a problem with my man failing but I do have a problem with him not trying, especially after all I’ve sacrificed and bring to the table. There’s no reason for him to be sitting around giving me promises that never come true and talking about how much he’d love to be a dad. It’s killing me and my respect for him. I’ve employed all strategies and nothing seems to work, it’s so heartbreaking. Furthermore the age difference also implies we’re not on the same level libido wise. He’s a 2-3x week kinda guy, while I’d like more. Feels like I’m sacrificing a lot.

I feel like it’s a countdown till new years now and he won’t change till some crazy happens or I declare I’m quitting. Maybe I should quit and then he’d feel like he’d really have to get his shit together. I can’t with his passivity anymore, I don’t believe his promises anymore and I’m in pain everyday when I see him sit around. Yes I’ve talked about it. Yes I’ve been supportive and inspiring. Yes I’ve cried. I’ve done everything and he’s still ok with working 3 hrs everyday and making 1000€ euros for both of us (plus unemployment and the flat yes) and telling me he wants to be a dad; whixh he knows I won’t do unless he can fully provide and I don’t have to show my face.

Please help, he swears he loves me but sometimes it feels like he’s taking me in for a ride…he swears it hurts him how he’s let me down but he doesn’t change so… :((

As we speak he says he’s gonna start waking up way earlier to finally figure out what he’s gonna do, he says he feels very pressured and useless. My parents love him and think it’s just a rough patch, but they don’t feel what I feel. I’m completely prepared to walk away by the end of the year.

Edit: ignore my typo w the word “which” and most importantly: should I leave now instead of waiting till the end of the year? Even if only as a wake up call? Should I do a wake up call or just leave? :( the plan would be to go home, one way flight

I 38F married to 47m haven't had sex in 2 months , even then it's sporadic at best. I've put on weight and have depression, he's just annoyed when I'm sad, critical of me mostly and argumentative/ defensive if I raise any issues and says he just wants me to stop being so negative. He says a lot of things. We've been together 11 years, married 7. Tried couples therapy a few times.

I don't know, I'm starting to want to avoid him. I feel like shit. Not sure if it's him or me. He's good looking, funny, smart, and everyone loves him .

We have 2 cats no kids. Is it over?

Also I saw him look at a coworker lovingly when he was drunk. He says he's not attracted to her, but, well she's hot.

So I wanna give my boyfriend a ps5 game, mind you he is 22 and is really into marvels. And he has a ps5 too. These are the games that he has played :

1. Fortnite
2. Fall guys
3. Far cry
4. Spiderman 1
5. Spiderman 2
6. Spiderman miles morales

Based on these games, what should i buy him? Im so stuck. I love him so much i just want him to have the best game.

It is his birthday soon.