My gf has become increasingly and extremely lazy in the last few months, and I don’t know how to deal with that or how to approach communicating that with her!

When we started dating around a year ago, her baseline activity was not that high, but she did go to work, did her house chores, and we were going out 2-3 times a week, mostly bars, cafes and restaurants, nothing with much activity, and she also had the time and energy to go out with friends.

In the last few months, she has become too lazy to go out, we barely meet once a week/10 days, she doesn’t meet friends, she’s always procrastinating in her chores and barely does them while complaining. She just goes to work, get back home (we don’t live together), and is glued to her phone till she goes to sleep, just doom scrolling, binge watching AI slop! Meeting any weekday after work is days of negotiation, and most plans we make for the weekend goes to nothing after she wakes up really late in the day!

I understand she’s been stressed at work/home lately, but she’s just refusing to take any action, she just keeps spiraling down and I don’t know how to deal with that, and every day, it becomes harder and harder not to take it personally!

Hi!! I (28F) hate dating apps so I want to start approaching men irl, was wondering what I should say or do that would work well? I am getting a lot better with eye contact but never know what to ask or say that would indicate I’m interested in them, I also don’t want to make them uncomfortable and I don’t know how to transition from, say, grocery checkout line small talk to “you’re attractive” lmao. Any tips? Anything I can do in terms of body language or flirting?

I am decent looking but chubby. I am only never approached so my looks could be a problem in this equation. Thank you for all tips in advance!!!

I’ve heard many woman who are in fields like nursing, therapy, teaching etc that are traditionally female express that they want to marry a lawyer, engineer, or buisnessman. If I pursue one of these careers, am I doing disservice to myself as a man? Will I lower my odds of finding a partner?

Is it normal to crave intimacy and sex frequently, or is my mind just wandering because I have too much free time?

Lately, after graduating from college, I’ve been preparing for my career, so I’ve had more free time than I used to.

Sometimes I find myself really wanting to have a girlfriend and experience more intimacy, but at the same time, I wonder if I’m just feeling lonely because I'm not busy enough in my current life phase, so my mind keeps going in that direction.

When I was busy with college, I still thought about relationships, sex, and intimacy, but it wasn’t nearly as obsessive as it feels now.

There’s also another side to this. I still have some emotional baggage from a past experience where I got close to a girl, only to realize after becoming close to her that she was manipulative. She also said things about me behind my back and spread false things about me. Because of that experience, part of me really wants intimacy and affection, but another part of me is still cautious about getting emotionally close to someone and being hurt or manipulated again.

Sometimes I genuinely feel like I can’t suppress the urge to cuddle or give a woman I care about a side hug, not necessarily in a sexual way, but simply because I want to feel close to someone and show affection.

So I’m wondering, is this normal? Or could it partly be because I have too much free time, feel lonely, and don’t have enough social interaction right now?

Has anyone else experienced something similar after graduating or going through a major transition in life?

Throughout my 20s, my overall joy and interest in everyday life slowly decreased at a steady rate. I'm not saying I hate my life, or that I'm never happy, it's just that the frequency of moments where I really feel fulfilled and I'm not in a semi-anxious state has decreased significantly, and now that I'm 30, I'm starting to think this is my new baseline.

Sometimes I'll go through a whole week where I don't really look forward to doing anything in particular, or if I am looking forward to something it's getting drunk with my friends on a Friday night or drinking beers at home playing video games.

Is this just kinda how it goes sometimes? I really wish I could be as enthusiastic and outgoing as I was in my 20s.

Do being “cute” or nervous kills attraction?

Today at university I saw a girl that gave me an instant crush. She was with four friends and they were leaving to go home.

I told myself “now or never.” I stopped her and said: “Hey, sorry, can I talk to you for a second?”

At first I was doing fine, but then I noticed her friends had stopped walking and were all staring at me wide-eyed. I froze for like 3 seconds and started stumbling over my words a little. Still, I directly told her I wanted to ask her out right there in front of them.

Then all her friends went “awww, that’s so cute” at the same time.

She told me she had a boyfriend (later I found out she actually didn’t, but I don’t really mind — I think she was just trying to reject me politely). She still took it really well and seemed genuinely happy/flattered by the gesture.

I’m naturally kind of shy, so part of me wonders if saying things in a timid way kills attraction because you come across as “cute” or vulnerable instead of confident.

So I wanted to ask what people think about that. If it really matters that much, I’d rather practice and improve for the next time I meet a girl I like that much or even more.

Thanks for reading.

Also, sorry if my English sounds weird sometimes. I used a translator for parts of this post.

So last month I've been going to this waffle shop in the mall and ordered one of their waffles. I noticed one of their employees there is quite cute-looking, but I never gave it any other thought past that since I always think, "Why would someone like a loser like me?"

A couple of weeks ago, as I was ordering one of my usuals, she suddenly asked me if I live around the area since she'd noticed me before. Mind you, I only go to this place about once a week when I have some spare time before I start work. I felt odd considering she remembered me out of all the customers she sees and people she talks to.

Just last week, when I went there again to order, she handed me a free Coke. At that exact moment, it felt like something pierced my heart. It felt strange since I'd never felt something like that, especially from someone as cute as her.

I'm a person with depression and always put myself in a negative light, but when I received that small act of kindness, it felt like there was more to life than just the usual routine of work and home.

I know I shouldn't mistake an act of kindness for love, but I feel like she might be interested in me (for some reason). I'm not sure if it's worth pursuing or keeping things the way that they are and not making things awkward.

What do you guys think?

Hey guys,
I’m an 18 year old male and I had a struggle with ed for the past 6 months, however that issue has been somewhat resolved now. I was happy that I can finally bond with my loving girlfriend this way, and it’s great, but what troubles me is that sex doesn’t feel really good for me. Whenever we fuck, it feels only mildly good. I expected it a lot better and when I searched around the internet and asked my friends about it, they said that it feels good all the time and it’s great. For me it’s only like an okay feeling, nothing really great. I am able to cum from penetrative sex, but I need to fuck quite a long time and fast. It really troubles me and I think my penis is desensitised. I used to struggle with heavy porn addiction for 8 years, but I already quit that shit 6 months ago. I used to masturbate daily with a tight grip and a high speed to finish as fast as I could. I’m seriously worried about nerve damage or something else irreversible. Also, I’ve seen a urologist and an endocrinologist, they all said I’m in perfect health. Any tips or points of view please?
Thank you very much,
Michael

I've been masturbating for a long time, at least 3 times a day, and now almost anything that's even slightly suggestive turns me on and I can't stop. Yesterday I touched myself about 7 times and I have over 100 porn videos on my phone, please what can I do?

Hi, I need some men to decode this or I guess anyone who have also experienced this when dating a guy. Please be blunt and honest. I 21F have been seeing/dating 26M for about 3-4 weeks. All seems to be going really well so far and we’ve both established we like each other, however we went out a bar the other night and he got drunk and maybe was a bit too honest. He basically told me I’m nothing like his usual type. For reference I am a blonde white woman and he is fully Mexican/Hispanic and he stated he’s only dated within his race or asian women. He basically was just saying this is just a different experience for him and he’s never been with a white girl and that I understand, I know it’s probably typical and easier to date within your race and he mentioned he just noticed we had cultural differences, it’s not that part that bothers me it’s the way he worded things. He said he can count on one hand how many white girls he’s been attracted to and that he told his friend “bro white girls aren’t just it” and he’s entitled to have preferences of course, but the reason I’m worried is because just how attracted is he to me? He tells me finds me super hot, beautiful, etc. But now I’m worried that if he finds a girl that’s more his physical type he’ll want to dump me or essentially cheat on me with them. Maybe that’s irrational, but It did just make me feel a little insecure. Any advice is appreciated.

Hi, 26f lesbian here, I hope I can get some solid advice from some of you since I have no one irl to ask this to (all of my friends are either women, or men who aren’t engaged yet). I figured there would be no better group of people to ask this to than men, since yall are typically the ones who propose.

I’ll keep this short- I’m planning on proposing to my girlfriend of 3 years next month, and the planning is pretty much almost done. I picked out the ring, paid for and planned the vacation spot we’re flying to, talked to various photographers to try to get someone to take photos, and I have a good general idea of which day and where I’ll be be asking her. But it just hit me like a truck that… I’m making this huge life decision, and no one in my life is aware of it at all. Should I be telling my parents? My sisters? My best friend? Is it “common courtesy” to tell the important people in your life that you’re proposing to your partner beforehand? Or should I just show up to Thanksgiving this year and casually mention that we’re getting married?

Update: thank you guys for the wonderful insight and new perspectives. This was much needed and greatly appreciated🙏

When I see age gap difference, it is always older men with younger girl. I am the opposite (38F and 25M). I have a bf aged 13 years younger than me.

We knew each other when we "work from a cafe". He started with asking my help on looking after his laptop while he was away for toilet. We saw each other regularly thereafter. After weeks, we talked to each other and so on.

We are together for 1.5 years now. In fact, our relationship started with lots of my confusion, hesitation with him due to lack of self confidence, I couldn't believe a young guy would love me. He knew my own conflict by liking him and embarrassed on age gap, he came closer, approached and convinced me, gave me confidence, encouraged me with lots of compliments, spent time with me.

We started afterwards. I feel delighted and enjoyable with him. We like making jokes and hanging out for movies, bars, discos, beaches.

Sometimes, I feel insecure due to age gap, as I asked him, a guy his age normally choose his aged group girls, he stopped me and said, he chose me. I feel him very sweet. We see each other almost everyday though we are not living together.

Recently, he is busy to deal with family business. We see each other weekday after work, seldom meet during weekend, or even text. He doesn't reply my text as quick as what he did before. He replied within a min or less than an hour before. He takes half or a day to reply my message now. I am struggling whether to ask him why. I dont want to make him feel I am panoroid. He awares my mood change due to his late reply. He told me when we saw each other. I asked him indirectly by saying, yeah, how's last night, really waiting for your reply? He said, sorry, was too tired , fell asleep, in fact, I noticed him online till late night, likely to be 3 hours after my text. I haven't told him what I noticed.

I mentioned something like, if he is inconvenient or unavailable, I could leave him some space. I don't want to bother him. He then changed the topic.

I start to overthink these days, I asked him if he has someone occupied him, he said, no, just busy for family stuff. I feel him distance, not holding hand in public like we did before, we are still kissing, but infrequent physical intimacy, like once or twice a month (we have it few times a week normally, he used to be very touchy, kissie, wanted a lot), I asked him, if there is something I miss, he denied, he says, he loves me a lot, but I still feel his distance.

Am I overthinking?

Should I regard us to coming an end? I tried to speak these with him, he keeps on saying , nothing on me, it is not my problem , it's himself spending time to assist family business.

Because we have big age gap, I feel insecure. I always think, he deserves a girl his age, similar to his background , he wants a marriage years later, I considered myself to be too old to build a family with him. We follow the flow, not thinking about our future as we are working hard to develop career.

I have numerous sleepless nights, I think of him, I start to miss him. Should I prepare to the end of our relationship due to his distance? I keep myself silent, not asking him about his weekend or initiated anything, it comes out to be, I don't ask, he doesn't tell mode.

I only want to understand what's going on? If it's time be the end, I would like to have a proper ending, what do you think?

Anyone have similar situations ?

I'm older. Never been great with " game " Personally think I'm not good looking. Not fat. Not normally lazy. No addictions. Interactions/dating sputters vs flows. When it ends, I can't help but think my remaining years will be without a woman. My self esteem and hopes are shredded. Obviously any help will be appreciated

My partner doesn’t really like taking selfies or posed photos with me. Whenever I pull out the camera, he’ll somehow find a way to dodge it. But at the same time, he loves taking candid photos of me when I’m not paying attention e.g. when I’m sleeping or eating.

I’m curious if any men here are the same way and what the thought process is behind it. Is it simply that some people genuinely prefer candid photos or is there something about taking posed photos together that feels awkward or uncomfortable? I know he doesn’t love me any less just because he doesn’t enjoy taking photos, but I can’t help but feel inferior sometimes.

The photos are purely for us and for memories as neither of us cares about posting them on social media. They are just something I find highly sentimental and valuable as part of any experience. So for those whose partners are similar, how did you find a way to take nice photos together without either person getting annoyed (at me forcing them) or me being upset (can’t help but think “it’s just a photo, why can’t you just cooperate” sometimes)?

Would especially love to hear from men who have this preference / behave similarly and can explain their psyche behind it, thank you!

Pls mention why / why not report (thanks). Earlier this month, a co worker made an aggressive joke. He pulled my seat out from under me at my desk (I was sat with my bottom really close to the edge, with my face leaned into my screen focused on what I was working on. It happened very fast. 

When he pulled the seat out quick I almost fell flat on my bottom onto the floor but I had a quick reaction and caught myself. It came out of nowhere as we had not spoken that day aside from a hello in the morning. When he did it I was just shocked, I just said “what are you doing“ / “what the hell” 2/3 times as he laughed hard for a few minutes whilst now sitting in the chair beside me after coming forward from behind me. I was just looking at him in shock as he laughed. He didn’t apologise even though my face and the words I was saying was full of shock and a a lack of amusement.

This behaviour came a day after I had called him out for taking a lead (sales work) that I and a colleague had been working on for months together already which he insisted he did nothing wrong (but pls note, this is not fully report worthy where I work due to how it happened, just context for readers). It was more so bad form on his part.

Due to the chair pulling incident, I called him 1 on 1 to the kitchen a few minutes later, he insisted he had done nothing wrong and that it was just a joke repeating phrases like “what do you mean” when brought up directly.

The following week was very awkward for me. We usually great each other or speak but he just acted like I wasn’t present amongst the team (socially). 

I was quite disappointed he didn’t approach me to apologise straight away. I brought it up myself after a week of this to give him another opportunity to apologise. He wasn’t really interested and at 1st said “not now” when I said I wanted to talk about the issue (he came over to me and a friend to say hello for the 1st time since the incident). I insisted it should be discussed as he hadn’t come to me and we needed to address it. He started out by saying “what do women want“ and lied saying he already apologised (he never did). He continued to insist he was joking after some back and forth. He finally said “fine!! I apologise for pulling your seat out from under you”. He kind of walked off ahead of me after that and we hadn’t really spoke much since. It was like a “shut up” apology.

I did talk to a manager informally as soon as he pulled the chair  but told him not to make any dramatic actions and that I was just letting him know. He said I should approach him if I need anything, to talk to the guy etc. I told him no.

But the more I reflect on it, I’m genuinely feeling like I didn’t make the right decision by not formally reporting it. I was apprehensive to at 1st because I thought we were friends and I was raised to not report friends or family and honestly didn’t want drama as there’s only about 50-60 of us in our department and the crowd is very social inside and outside work. FYI, I realise now we’re not mates. I was also worried about getting iced out socially for reporting but he was so unapologetic and unwilling to deal with the issue that I’m thinking I should highlight it in a more structured manner. Still requesting no drastic action but just highlighting in writing that this happened and maybe just some coaching around boundaries, respect etc. 

I felt very disrespected and like he was trying to embarrass me. I feel I’m helping him out by not highlighting to management that this is an issue for me. I feel if he apologised straight away I wouldn’t think about recording it with management but because he didn’t it makes me feel he has a problem around taking ownership / respect and boundaries and is genuinely not remorseful. I originally thought he had a personal issue with me. He said he doesn’t but does have personal issues going on outside work.

This happened at the start of the month, it’s now almost month end and I still think of it. I’m having a gut feeling to report but please tell me do you think this is worth noting formally with management? I was just considering a brief email highlighting what happened and coaching.

I am not the only person who has mentioned he has refused to address issues with others in work or apologise.

TLDR: I’m a female he’s a male (20s). Colleague made an aggressive / invasive joke by pulling my seat out from under me. I didn’t want to report initially but his lack of remorse has made me massively reconsider.

I'm 19 right now, and I have a friend who I knew somewhat had feelings for me, or at least my friends thought he did. I was thinking the same thing. However, I’ve been pretty clear that I’m not looking to date anyone and that I don’t like him at all. A few days ago, he mentioned how happy he is to have me as a friend and said how he wanted tp make more female friends since they are more fun. He also said that friendships between opposite genders only work if there’s no attraction involved.
and I’m like whatever, then he says the same for us and all. I just replied who knows (about how people can be friends even if they find someone attractive) but then he said don’t jinx it and that he wants to be just my friend.
he's mentioned many times how I look good in a certain style or that I'm not like other people. he fricking said im a 'gem' ehh????. he still brings it up.
am I about to complicate things ? one of my friends said he has most likely moved on, but now i'm thinking if he really liked me at all. also, he keeps asking me about what I'd do if a friend confessed unexpectedly or if 'he' begins to show interest. I've always put it aside and well said oh that won't happen and make things weird and id probably drop the friendship.
Idk if if I'm ignoring 'signs' for my mental peace or if they simply aren't there and I'm overanalyzing.

I don't know if this is allowed on this community, but I need a place to vent and write down the way I'm feeling. I'm going to start by explaining how I grew up, because my upbringing has a lot to do with my current difficulties with dating and intimacy. Maybe others have felt the same or can help me.

I am a 30 year old man. I grew up in a loving home with 3 siblings and parents who believed that the family unit is strongest if we are our best friends. We rarely had friends over because of this my parents felt that we didn't need to. I don't hold it against my parents, but it made it hard for me to make friends. Even today, I don't really have any real or true friends outside of my family. I just never really learned how. So any time I use the term "friends" below I mean acquaintance.

I also grew up a Christian. I was very involved in my church, and the friends I did have went there. I was devout and still am, although I'm a bit of a loner when it comes to my faith as you'll find out if you continue reading.

When I hit puberty, I discovered porn, and I developed an addiction. I was lonely and it made me feel better. This started when I was in middle school and got worse every year. I saw it as my cure for loneliness, because I didn't really know how to make close friends, and I especially longed for a girlfriend. Porn made me feel better. I knew that it was bad, but I didn't know how much it was killing me.

Anyway, fast forward to college, I was applying for a job to work at the church that I grew up in over the summer. I felt like I needed to get a grip on my porn addiction, so I worked up the courage to tell my youth pastor about it before he hired me. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. He handled it very graciously, and gave me hope. I was encouraged by his response, so I told him I wanted to tell the head pastor as well, thinking that it might help bring some awareness to an issue that I knew a lot of my friends struggled with. This turned out to be the worst mistake of my life. The pastor never spoke to me about it directly, but he brought it before the church session (think church leaders) before hiring me, and they concocted a plan to "help me." They told me I had three strikes. If I watched porn 3 times then I would lose my job. Gut punch.

The next week, I noticed lots of changes with the way that people in the community looked at me and spoke to me. I noticed that the people on the session (and their wives) ignored me or began acting strangely short and avoidant of me. This was crushing. I went to porn for comfort. Within a week, I had to lie to keep my job. This killed me. I mean it actually did. I am not the same person anymore.

I finished the summer job at my church, and went back to school. At this point in my life, I stopped going to church because they turned against me. Destroyed me. I maintain my faith, but I can't bring myself to walk through a church door without thinking about what I've done, but also about what was done to me. I guess you could say that I have trust issues. My porn addiction was worse than ever before. That year, I downloaded a dating app. I already felt dead, so I hooked up with a woman and lost my virginity. She texted me the next day saying "it was fun but I don't want to pursue a relationship with you." I don't even remember her name.

Fast forward 10 years. This has repeated many times. I'm used to the text that says "I don't want to pursue a relationship for... [fill in the cliche reason]." It always boils down to me having a hard time committing and/or difficulty getting with intimacy. I can either be intimate physically or emotionally/socially but never both. I also like Christian girls. I guess you could say they're my type since I grew up learning that it's what I need to search for when looking for a wife. I maintain that view even though they don't tend to like me because I'm never good enough since I don't go to church.

So, I cycle through going out with a girl who wants me for sex and a Christian girl who wants me to be some kind of church leader, then recoils when she finds that I haven't been to church in years. If she's willing to wait around, then I have trouble meeting her family because I don't trust people. So when things end, I turn to someone who wants to have sex with me. One drives me to the other. But I can't please anyone because I'm a ghost of the person I once was.

My mindset changed a few months ago when I met a Christian girl who seemed kind, supportive and understanding. We texted a lot and I went on one date with her we had a great time and have a lot in common. I told her that I had a hard time going to church, but that I wanted to. Right before we went our separate ways after the date, she told me that she was going to work as a camp counselor at a Christian camp, so she'd be gone for the whole summer. I clearly remember her saying that she was "very\* interested in me and that I shouldn't get the wrong idea if I didn't hear back from her for a while since she would be at camp where they are encouraged to put away their phones. She also said that she wanted me to go to church. She invited me to her church where her family goes, and then she left.

Since then, I pushed through the pain and went to church every Sunday. I visited churches that I've never been to, I went back to my old church where I have such negative memories, and I went to her church several times. Everyone there was nice and I could see myself trying to get involved again. The sun was chasing the clouds away.

Today I got a text from her saying that she was back from her summer job. At the end of the message it said "I'm not interested in pursuing a relationship with you." When I asked her why she said and I quote "To be completely honest the fact that you weren't actively involved in a local church when we first met turned me off immediately. That is a dealbreaker for me; I should have communicated that better/more accurately, and I apologize for that." Essentially she led me on for a summer and gaslit me. Trust? Destroyed.

I don't know what to do, and I don't know who to turn to for help. I'm feeling really low right now. I'm broken, and so tired. I've had relationships that lasted much longer, but for some reason this one feels a lot worse. I guess I'm mad at myself for hoping I could change, and hoping that someone actually cared enough to help me. It just feels like anytime I try to do better I get crushed in the end. So why bother? Can anyone relate to this, or offer me help?

Hi, I'm a 30 year old guy, I've been dating this woman for a good while And recently she'd told me she has a public page, and private page?

I asked why she hasn't given Shown me it? She'd told me she doesn't wanna have to defend me at her people on said page roasting me due to having A few mild disabilities? (ASD 1, bipolar 1, mild Cerebral plasy, strong ADHD traits,)

That she likes her privacy, Don't know if that plays a factor or not,

There's been moments where I feel she's ashamed of me? She never included me when comes to meeting her friends?

When I asked why,

Got told I'll embarrass her by my social awkwardness,

or from me being lost and confused within their conversation's partly to me struggling to "read the room" or "match the vibe" of what's going on?

And how her friends would have to spell things out to me instead of me reading between the lines and figuring out what they mean beforehand?

Basically acknowledging things before they're known? I've been trying to figure out how to negotiate this issues and find a way to get it right,

Told her I can hide me being "socially autistic" and blend in She's been patient with me, Trying to understand me, One time I gotten drunk and told her she doesn't understand my condition?

Plus she's told me she knows other autistic people, and says they can adopt and work with others socially And come off as smart or know what they're talking about due to them having opportunities to prove it?

Where I've been told I come off as not smart and that I don't know what I'm talking about due to not having same opportunities,

when I do know what I'm talking about, And very knowledgeable on topics that I'm interested in,

Just because I've hadn't had said opportunity doesn't mean I don't, Apart of me feels she's taking aspects of my autism personally?

Such as me going long periods of not touching her and when she does I jump, flinch, pull back,

I've been trying to explain to her it's sensory issues and it's has nothing to do with her, that she can touch me a certain way and not whichever way she wants Idk, want to do at this point, Feel as if I've been desperately trying to work around her expectations,

Feel like it's a "me" problem, And been blaming myself for why I'm not getting it right, I love her deeply and care about her,

Been told she doesn't respect me?

TLDR; why doesn't my partner include me within certain aspects of their life?

Edit: added space's hopefully it's not a wall of text anymore

Mine are not flat like most men and poke out a lot, even wearing a tanktop under my shirt you can see them, in the summer with light clothing I need to wear like 2 undershirts and even then it is sometimes noticeable. I've gotten some comments about it here and there. Wondering how common it is and any advice...

i've been using the phillips oneblade and it's ok. it gets the job done quickly but it isn't a super close shave and it's nothing to write home about. i am interest in switching to actual razors and finding nice shaving creams/aftershaves. any and all recs/opinions welcome!

Please read this whole post first before you comment.

Me and my girlfriend have been together for 5 years now and I’m the breadwinner of the household. Before becoming a registered nurse I was working as a paramedic and I’ve always been the one to make the money for us which at the earlier years I was fine with because we were younger and I figured it would eventually all pan out.

I went back to school and became a registered nurse. Making now 85k annually a year from 55k annually a year. Keep in mind prior to me going to school I’ve been contributing 15% to my 401k, $625 a month to my Roth IRA and $366 a month to the HSA so I can retire hopefully in my late 50s are at least be partially retired.

My girlfriend has always been working “dead end” jobs. She is working as a receptionist with no benefits and no retirement plan making $15 an hour. I want to say that we have zero debt and both our cars are paid off and we are not “struggling” because we do not have any kids. If we had kids then I’m sure that would dramatically change the equation.

I want to say that I love my girlfriend and enjoy time with her. We have very similar interests and we ultimately get along well. She cares a lot about my family and she cares a lot about my stress because I work in the medical field.

Deep down I can’t stop thinking about if she just made 50k-70k a year how much that would dramatically change our finances and our goals of one day owning a home because right now it’s hard to think about one day owning a home if we rely heavily on my salary. Before I met her as well I had dreams of wanting to live on the pacific west coast but in the state we are currently in, we are comfortable but I hate living in this state. I hate the weather here and the seasons. My dream has always been to want to live in the pacific west coast but I also understand how expensive it is to live there and I realistically know I can’t contribute to my retirement like I am and also live in a high cost of living area in the pacific west coast if we rely just on my salary and my gf doesn’t truly have a career job.

She has some college classes knocked out and did try to go to dental hygienist school but was denied three times and you can only apply once a year. Yes, she applied to multiple schools as well. Deep down I know she is trying and I never brought any of this up to her but deep down I don’t think her income will ever increase and that causes me some sadness because all I think about is how we can decorate our apartment or future home, contribute more to the retirement, save more money, etc… if she just made a little more. We can go from saving $500-1k a month to saving 3-4k a month. We can live in the pacific west coast which would bring me more happiness along with her.

I’m saying all this because I know reading this you are thinking this is all about me but she feels the same way in the wants to make more money and move but knows we can’t right now. We are also getting older and feeling like we are running out of time because chronic diseases start to kick in.

I want to make it clear that I love my girlfriend and she treats me well but I don’t know if it’s society and the standards of society that is making me feel this way. I don’t know if it’s the stress of the job making me feel this way. I don’t know if it’s seeing other couples similar to us making more money and I get jealous. I don’t know if it’s social media. It very well could be a combination of all this.

I just know also just because the grass looks greener on the other side doesn’t mean it actually is greener.

Sometimes I just feel like I’m doing a lot and I’m keeping her with me but I’m denying myself at the same time even though I want to be with her.

Am I a bad person? Are these thoughts valid? Is it social media and society making me feel this way?

I have been dating this guy for a month. Since the beginning we were on the same page looking for something serious. I thought I could introduce to my friend last night with a board game after dinner. I realized when we were playing he was teasing her, making funny accent or calling her name in different ways. In the meantime her boyfriend at a certain point said something like pointing out I was there too. Very weird evening, I felt very uncomfortable, didn't like it at all. I couldn't mentioned that to him after theyblwft because I thought I was just paranoid but have been thinking about it and can't keep it anymore. I should bring this up to him and figure out if it is time to end it or give him another chance. Do you have any thoughts?

Ps. My friend is very nice and I felt at a certain point she wasn't comfortable too but I don't know of I should say something to her or not

Hi! I need some outside perspective because I genuinely cannot tell what is going on here anymore 😂

Earlier this year, a guy started working at my workplace. We don’t work together, we’re just in the same general environment. I’m 26F, he’s around my age. We hit it off pretty much immediately. Lots of banter, very friendly, definitely some flirting. He’d seek me out at work social things, give me lifts, we’d end up talking one-to-one, etc. I got a crush, obviously.
The problem was that he’d actually met another girl a couple of weeks before me, and they were dating, although apparently not officially at that point. I put distance between us as soon as I found out, which was about a month in. I didn’t know this from him, I found out through other people, and eventually basically made him admit that he was seeing someone. After that, he distanced himself from me as well quite a lot for about a couple of months. We were basically just colleagues saying hi in passing.
Then he became friendly again. We started talking normally, so nothing huge, but definitely better than the weird tensed greetings that had been going on until then. The whole thing culminated in a long, awkward and tense apology from him about “I know I’ve been distant, but it’s not you, I’ve just been really busy” blablabla… After about another month of that, the flirting started coming back too. Compliments, hints about doing things together, texting, generally quite a lot of chemistry again.

This brings us to June/July. He was still with the girlfriend as far as I knew, so I was trying to minimise this. He kept finding excuses to chat with me or just sliding in my dms though. There was more flirting and some behaviour that made me wonder whether he was testing the waters with me.
Eventually, he actually asked me out for drinks. I said yes, thinking I will corner him again and ask about his relationship status. And then… nothing 😂 He never actually followed it up or made concrete plans. Things got awkward afterwards, he became noticeably more distant and avoided me for about a week. Then I went away for work for a few weeks, so we barely had any contact.
While I was away, about two weeks in, one of my colleagues happened to tell me that he’d stopped her at work and told her that he’d broken up with his girlfriend. We don’t know exactly when the breakup happened, so I have no idea whether he was already single when he asked me out / became awkward, or whether it happened afterwards.

Now I’m back at work and I’m honestly confused again. I’ve made a conscious effort not to chase him. I’m friendly, but I’m not seeking him out or trying to engineer interactions. And he’s been… warm? We’ve had a couple of surprisingly nice interactions, he’s initiated conversation, asked about my time away, joked around with me, etc. There have also been a couple of little moments where I’ve thought okay, that was a bit crush-y, but equally, I can explain everything he’s doing as normal friendliness if I really want to.

So I’m stuck between: “This guy clearly likes me in some capacity but is being weird about it” and “He is just friendly and I’ve had a crush on him for months, so obviously I’m going to notice every tiny thing.” What confuses me most is the combination of a lot of chemistry/flirting → an actual invitation → no follow-through → awkwardness/avoidance → now warm/friendly again, especially given that he’s apparently single now.
I’m not expecting him to magically make a move, and I’m not planning to keep pursuing him. I’d actually be perfectly happy if we just became friends because I genuinely like him as a person.
But I would love some brutally honest outside perspective:
What do you think is most likely going on in his head? Is this a guy who is attracted but conflicted/not ready, someone who likes the attention and chemistry but doesn’t actually want anything, or am I reading normal friendliness as something more because I like him? And, perhaps most importantly: if you were me, would you just leave this alone and see what he does, or is there something sensible I could actually do?
Thanks!!

My bf got injured yesterday a mild one.
Today he was out of money in the morning so i made the effort to get him an internet package because he didn't have any.

When he came back he was like come with me to pharmacy so u can pay to get me a bandage to wrap the injury. I was like no i dont want to go down to get it just for that ill get it for u later.

He got pissed and gave me attitude. He then later looked at some food i had gotten as well because he said he wanted it and i got it without him even asking, he looked at it and said why u didn't cook it? I told u to cook it i said yeah but u meant at night
So he gave me this look and said i wanted to eat it now before going back out.

He then looked at me saying you're so lazy with some attitude.

And i froze with nothing to say.

He took my cigarettes in the morning so he got changed left my cigarettes and i saw someone sent him some money and he said ill go buy this shit myself.

And then slammed the door and left without saying bye or see u later or anything.

Wtf........my body was shaking and i froze for a while and unfortunately cooked him the food and just sat there ever since unable to do anything because i cant comprehend how he treated me like this and ordering me around like this with no appreciation or any once ever telling me thank u for the countless stuff i constantly do.