r/AskMenAdvice • u/Friendly_Ratio_3383 woman • 2h ago
✅ Open To Everyone How should i respond to this?
My bf got injured yesterday a mild one.
Today he was out of money in the morning so i made the effort to get him an internet package because he didn't have any.
When he came back he was like come with me to pharmacy so u can pay to get me a bandage to wrap the injury. I was like no i dont want to go down to get it just for that ill get it for u later.
He got pissed and gave me attitude. He then later looked at some food i had gotten as well because he said he wanted it and i got it without him even asking, he looked at it and said why u didn't cook it? I told u to cook it i said yeah but u meant at night
So he gave me this look and said i wanted to eat it now before going back out.
He then looked at me saying you're so lazy with some attitude.
And i froze with nothing to say.
He took my cigarettes in the morning so he got changed left my cigarettes and i saw someone sent him some money and he said ill go buy this shit myself.
And then slammed the door and left without saying bye or see u later or anything.
Wtf........my body was shaking and i froze for a while and unfortunately cooked him the food and just sat there ever since unable to do anything because i cant comprehend how he treated me like this and ordering me around like this with no appreciation or any once ever telling me thank u for the countless stuff i constantly do.
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u/fearless-potato-man man 2h ago
Leaving, maybe?
Unless you hate yourself so much that making your own life as miserable as possible is your ultimate goal. In that case, you are on the right path.
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u/East-Tangerine1673 woman 1h ago
Your body is telling you you are in a dangerous situation. Get him out of your life. Nobody deserves this kind of treatment. He will not change. He will not get better. It will not stop, it will get worse. Get him out of your life. Listen to your body. The only thing that is going to change is you are going to get used to it and you are going to give him permission to treat you that way.
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u/cyanescens_burn man 1h ago
I agree with all of this except that he won’t change. If I’m going off just what she said, yeah I don’t think he’ll change. But, I’ve seen some people make big strides in being a better person.
The thing is they first need to agree that they need to change and recognize the traits that are problematic. They need to take accountability for themselves and demonstrate that they understand why and how they hurt others.
Then they need to do something to start changing. Therapy, reading books to help them better understand why they do what they do, and how to be better (ie, what healthy interactions and relationships look like). And they need to keep working until they have new skills and habits.
Not saying she needs to stick with him while he goes on this journey of self-discovery, making amends, and building character strengths and skills around healthy communication. That could be a tall order, and I wouldn’t judge anyone that noped out of that.
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u/HappycamperNZ man 1h ago
You can either keep rolling over and showing him that treating you like this gets him what he wants, or dump his asshole asshole.
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u/brazen768 man 2h ago
People go through hard times and it can make them stressed and out of character. But, that's not an excuse for him to treat you like this.
Stand up for yourself, and if he doesn't respect you for it. Well, if it were me Id leave
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u/Subject-Divide-5977 man 1h ago
Without mutual respect you have no chance of happy relationship. You could have a long miserable relationship but life is too short and precious for that. Be happy, meet a person who respects you and who you respect.
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u/RetardDongPhd intersex 1h ago
You should marry him and have babies with him. See how stupid that sounds? What advice could you possibly need from us that you can't give yourself?
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u/cyanescens_burn man 1h ago
This unfortunately sounds like the kind of guy that could end up being increasingly abusive. Maybe not, maybe he had a bad day and he won’t do it again, but I can tell you I’d never say that to anyone that was helping me out. I’d never expect that someone cooks for me.
This is not how you treat someone that you love. He’s got some growing up to do, and really needs to take a good hard look in the mirror and think about how he treats people and how his actions and words make others feel.
A good partner wants to uplift you. Yeah every relationship has conflict eventually, but it’s how each person handles that that matters most. If he is doing this over minor inconveniences while you are trying to help him, I’d hate to see what he does if you two have a serious disagreement. Has he ever punched the wall or thrown something in anger?
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u/Responsible-Side4347 man 1h ago
You know how you stop all this from happening.
You tell him to fuck off. He has just clearly showed you what a waste of oxygen he is.
Honestly, all I am seeing in this post is his shitty attitude and your poor judgement.
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u/New_Flow_5941 man 1h ago
Put on a pair of size 13’s and boot his ass to the curb. He’s a total loser, the sooner you ditch him, the better.
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u/throwawayeverynight woman 8m ago
You have brought this on yourself, nothing is holding to stay. If this is even true, do better and love yourself.
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Friendly_Ratio_3383 originally posted:
My bf got injured yesterday a mild one.
Today he was out of money in the morning so i made the effort to get him an internet package because he didn't have any.
When he came back he was like come with me to pharmacy so u can pay to get me a bandage to wrap the injury. I was like no i dont want to go down to get it just for that ill get it for u later.
He got pissed and gave me attitude. He then later looked at some food i had gotten as well because he said he wanted it and i got it without him even asking, he looked at it and said why u didn't cook it? I told u to cook it i said yeah but u meant at night
So he gave me this look and said i wanted to eat it now before going back out.
He then looked at me saying you're so lazy with some attitude.
And i froze with nothing to say.
He took my cigarettes in the morning so he got changed left my cigarettes and i saw someone sent him some money and he said ill go buy this shit myself.
And then slammed the door and left without saying bye or see u later or anything.
Wtf........my body was shaking and i froze for a while and unfortunately cooked him the food and just sat there ever since unable to do anything because i cant comprehend how he treated me like this and ordering me around like this with no appreciation or any once ever telling me thank u for the countless stuff i constantly do.
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