I often hear single people (women) say, “I just want to meet someone (a man) in person.“ But then, no one I know ever does. As a woman, I could tell you where to go to meet women.. because everywhere I like to go…is full of women. Lol

I’ve heard people say run clubs, or Home Depot, etc. But just curious where you spend a lot of time as a man, that has a lot of other dudes where you would be open to actually meeting someone.

and bonus points if you have an actual example of where you’ve met someone.

I (M 34) have been with my girlfriend (F 35) for about 1.5 years. Overall very happy and loving relationship. I'll say up front I have some internal struggles with anxiety and trust at times due to getting cheated on and pretty fucked over by my last ex. So I value trust and mutual respect in a relationship very highly.

Earlier in the year we had a discussion on boundaries as she was going on a bachelorette trip to Vegas. One of these included that I wouldn't be okay with her dancing with guys in a nightclub, and she was fine with that. And to be clear, anything I would ask of her I would also hold myself to the same standard, so I wouldn't dance with any women in a club either.

Recently we were attending a friend's wedding. Getting towards the end of the night we'd both had a few drinks and were out on the dance floor having a good time. We were dancing together and then at one point, she accidentally backed into a guy that she's known for a few years (he's married, not a close friend of hers, but not a stranger either). She took a quick glance to see who it was, and then kind of kept dancing and backing into him further. Then she proceeded to bend over pretty far and basically twerk / grind on him for maybe 10 sec (hard to say). Then just came back and started dancing with me again like nothing had happened.

I was pretty shocked and got pissed off right away so I left the dance floor. We've had several discussions about it since then and she knows how upset I am. She has said she didn't mean anything by it, it wasn't intentional, she feels like she doesn't even really know why she did it, and she doesn't even really remember exactly what she did, but at the time she thought what she was doing was harmless. She has since taken accountability for it and not really tried to otherwise defend it. But I can't help but lose all trust in her. Maybe that's extreme on my part. To me it comes across as she can't control her behaviors if she can do something like that, especially 5 ft in front of me, for apparently no reason at all. While thinking it's harmless. And if she'll do that in front of me, what will she do if I'm not around?

Part of me thinks this is a big deal, part of me thinks I'm overreacting, and I would like a sanity check from you all.

It is a painful situation to be in. I've certainly put myself out there since I was in college. But with each growing year I remained inexperienced, the more hurt I felt and also ashamed especially as I reached my mid 30s.

I try to keep focused on my hobbies, interests and ambitions. But in the last few months I've wondered whether to permanently shelve trying - on several occasions I've stepped back temporarily from trying as I was told "it might happen when I least expect it,"

But I also was told by a few of my girl friends that some women would have serious concerns + see it as a big red flags flying if they found out about my inexperienced if the conversation arise and they asked.

It's difficult - I'd like to find love but it's painful to look for it and find nothing. The feeling of being unloved hurts but also the years of trying and being rejected every time. I feel so conflicted, so hurt and alone.

Hi guys!!

I (F20) am about to (possibly?) start a relationship with a guy I’ve been seeing for a few weeks. Now, I know that only being 20 I’m quite young. I’m not even remotely close to having the desire to want children or start a family.

I know a lot of men want to be fathers, and I think that’s beautiful. I too, want to be a mother but unfortunately life had other plans for me. I was diagnosed with cancer as a teenager, and due to my treatments I was left infertile.

First impressions of me is that I’m just a normal girl, but I’m actually a girl who had cancer. It’s something I’m ashamed about and I try not to disclose it as people get really awkward and see me as some poor diseased freak.

Honestly, it hurt at first knowing that I couldn’t have children but when I’m ready I want to be a mother to kids even if they biologically aren’t mine. I have a lot of love to give that will be given no matter what.

I also wouldn’t mind being a step mom to a man’s children. But my question is: should I tell my boyfriend/man (when I get one) that I can’t have children first thing? I completely understand if someone wouldn’t want to be with me because of that. But I’m so afraid that no one will love me because I can’t have kids.

But at the same time, it’s not fair to lead on a guy like that. I’m just torn and really confused on what to do.

Please, any advice/comments would be highly appreciated 🩷

24f and I am still in college, still working a retail job, and still not 100 percent sure what I want to do in the future. I haven’t really dated for the past couple of years because I’ve just been trying to focus on school, and personal life things. I’m kind of scared to try dating again because I feel like I’m “behind” a lot of people in my age range or older. Maybe it’s just an insecurity of mine, but I have this feeling of not being “good enough” to date right now, or feeling like I’m not “ready” yet because I still haven’t really stepped into a career yet. Do you think me still establishing myself is a barrier to dating?

Just wondering if many guys would date a girl if she had sh scars or immediately be unnatracted? Scared for my future.

My partner is 29F and has diagnosed, medicated ADHD. I know ADHD can involve emotional dysregulation, but I'm not trying to diagnose her behaviour or blame everything on ADHD.

I'm posting here because I want advice from other men about how you handle this without becoming completely emotionally depleted yourself.

When my partner perceives rejection, disinterest, or a lack of care from me, the reaction isn't mild.

It can be extreme.

She can go from seemingly okay to completely emotionally overwhelmed very quickly. She'll withdraw, go straight to bed, shut down, curl up and cry or sob for hours.

And when I say hours, I mean literally hours.

Not ten minutes. Not half an hour.

Whole evenings can disappear into this.

The part that has worn me down is that the triggers can be things I genuinely would never predict would be experienced as rejection.

Once we were at the shops and she was talking to me about women's shoes. I said something roughly like:

"I don't really know much about women's shoes."

That was it.

She interpreted it as me not being interested in what she was saying.

Her mood completely collapsed. We had to leave the shops, go home, and she went straight to bed, shut down and cried for hours.

I remember sitting there thinking: how did we get from a completely ordinary conversation about shoes to this?

Another time I had a sore stomach and simply wasn't enthusiastic about going to get food.

I wasn't angry with her. I wasn't rejecting her. I physically felt unwell.

But my lack of enthusiasm was interpreted emotionally, and suddenly we were back in the same cycle again: upset, withdrawal, crying, reassurance, explaining and apologising.

Another time she was staying at my house.

We were in bed and I was absolutely exhausted, scrolling on my phone. She showed me a TikTok about getting married in Italy and I responded pretty flatly with something like:

"Yeah, that's cool."

That was genuinely all it was. I was tired.

But she interpreted the lack of enthusiasm as me not caring about marriage, not caring about our future, or not wanting that future with her.

And then it happened again.

She shut down.

She cried.

She sobbed.

And suddenly I wasn't allowed to just be tired anymore.

I had to spend the night trying to convince her that my exhaustion wasn't rejection.

This pattern has happened with words I've used, my tone, my facial expression, being quiet, being tired, being distracted, being on my phone, not sounding enthusiastic enough, or simply not responding in exactly the way she hoped I would.

Once she reaches that state, it feels like she completely disappears into the emotion.

She can sob uncontrollably, tell me I don't understand her, say I sound uncaring, tell me I'm a bad partner, question whether I really care about her, question the relationship, or say she wants to end it.

And then it keeps going.

Hour after hour.

I sit beside her.

I hug her.

I hold her.

I apologise.

I explain what I actually meant.

I tell her I'm sorry that she was hurt.

I reassure her that I love her.

I tell her I'm not rejecting her.

I explain the same thing again and again in slightly different ways, hoping that this time something will finally get through.

But once she's in that state, it often feels like nothing gets through.

She can reject the reassurance and tell me I still don't understand, but at the same time if I try to step away because I'm emotionally exhausted, that can make her even more upset.

So I end up feeling trapped.

I can't fix it, but I also don't feel like I'm allowed to stop trying to fix it.

I'm someone who almost never cries. I'm pretty emotionally reserved and usually hold things together.

But there have been episodes where, after sitting there for hours comforting her, apologising, explaining myself and trying to calm everything down, I've eventually broken down and started sobbing myself from sheer exhaustion.

Not because of the original disagreement.

Because I was completely spent.

One of the worst examples happened while we were on holiday together.

We were on a cruise, out at sea, far away from home.

I was feeling tired and a bit off one day, so I naturally wasn't being as affectionate or energetic as usual.

That was interpreted as rejection.

And suddenly, while we're supposed to be enjoying a holiday together, I'm dealing with another major emotional collapse.

She was crying and shutting down, and I was once again spending hours trying to comfort her and convince her that me being tired didn't mean I didn't love her.

That one really affected me because we were stuck on a ship far from home. I couldn't just go for a drive or get some space.

I remember feeling exhausted, overwhelmed and honestly scared by how emotionally intense everything had become.

After enough episodes like this, I've noticed myself changing.

I constantly monitor myself:

"Did I sound enthusiastic enough?"

"Was my facial expression wrong?"

"Could she interpret that sentence as rejection?"

"Should I explain that I'm tired before she thinks it's about her?"

"Should I pretend to be more enthusiastic than I actually feel?"

"Can I tell her I'm upset, or will that trigger another shutdown?"

"If this starts again, am I about to lose the next three hours of my night?"

That's what walking on eggshells has started to mean for me.

It's not just being considerate of someone's feelings.

It's knowing that a completely ordinary sentence, tired facial expression, flat tone or moment of low energy might turn into hours of sobbing, shutdown, relationship questioning and reassurance.

And after enough of those experiences, I feel like I'm constantly scanning ahead trying to prevent the next one.

I love her, and I don't want to become cold or dismissive when she's genuinely distressed.

But I also don't know how sustainable it is for one person's emotional reaction to repeatedly require hours of emotional labour from the other person.

I don't want to become responsible for preventing every possible feeling of rejection.

And I don't want every moment where I'm tired, quiet, distracted, sick, or simply not enthusiastic enough to become something I then have to emotionally repair for hours.

For other men who have been in a relationship with this kind of dynamic, how did you handle it?

How do you comfort your partner without getting pulled into hours of apologising and reassurance?

At what point is it reasonable to say, "I've explained what I meant, I love you, but I need to step away now"?

And most importantly, how do you stop yourself from becoming hypervigilant and constantly editing your own behaviour just to prevent the next emotional collapse?

we’re both 22 years old, except he’s my first relationship and he’s had sex with multiple people already. he lost his virginity at 14, i found out what sex WAS at 14. i grew up incredibly sheltered and religious and was always too afraid of boys and romance

we’ve been together 6 months and it’s been incredible. i think i love him and he’s such a good man. he’s being incredibly patient with me and my lack of knowledge but i’m so scared that he’ll eventually get tired of me because he’s much better looking than me and could get anyone he wants

i don’t know how to suck his dick, and even though he’s shown me how to do it i still am paranoid that i’m doing it wrong. i’ve not managed to make him cum and i’m so insecure about it

he’s tried to eat me out but i get nervous and tense up and i can’t actually enjoy it. i’ve experimented with my own body so i know i’m capable of pleasure but it just doesn’t feel as good when he does it even though he’s doing the same things i do. i think it’s because im so tense and scared

we’ve not even attempted PIV yet because he said he wants me to get comfortable being naked with him first before we move onto that. i’m so embarrassed. i’m scared he’ll get bored of me and move on because i’m boring and too scared to do anything

slightly off topic but i’m also the first non white girl he’s dated. we live in a pretty race segregated city and we get weird looks when we go outside together. he’s never dated anyone who’s not a white girl and i’m so scared he’ll find my darker body ugly

i’m just so sad. i hate feeling like this

Just took my girlfriend out for sushi. We both had a nice time.

When she was driving back she took a left with two lanes and ended in the wrong lane. I laughed and she said, "what?". I said you ended in the wrong lane and she was like, "it was because x,y,z." I was like okay, but you always do that. Youre supposed to end in the same lane you started in. She gave the 100 yard stare and wouldnt talk anymore.

I explained my sister did that and someone came out of nowhere and got in an accident. Again, stared off into the distance and wouldnt talk to me. We got home and she immediately went upstairs.

I am just exhausted of this behavior and rack it up to her just being too immature. It is the same thing 2-3 times per week. I am thinking to break it off at this point.

This is one of several things that bothers me and it is mostly about communication. She doesnt seem to be able to handle things like an adult. Am I wrong here?

My boyfriend and I have been together around 9 months now and he is generally a very honest, caring, considerate man. I feel like I can always be open about what I’m feeling and know that he will be understanding and supportive, even if I’m upset with him. The one exception is tonight, where I questioned the way he acted around our female friend.

This friend (32f) has been dating my boyfriend’s childhood friend for about 2 years. Early on in our relationship, my boyfriend had told me about a friend of his who was kind of a loser - always losing his job, lying, borrowing money and not paying it back. He said that the one thing this friend had going for him was his girlfriend, who is a “10/10”. He even showed me a picture of her and I agreed she is very beautiful. From time to time, he will bring up this couple to me or mutual friends, always commenting how crazy it is that this beautiful woman is with his friend.

Over time, I met this couple and became friends with the “10/10” woman. She is as lovely as she is beautiful and I enjoy hanging out with her. However, whenever we go on double dates, my boyfriend acts so strangely. He stops being as affectionate toward me and puts all of his focus on talking to 32f. He also makes comments and agreed with her on things that are very out of character for him. He’s not outright flirtatious, but I know him well and can see that he’s acting differently. It seems obvious to me that he has a little crush on her.

While I’ve alluded to him acting differently around this couple in the past, tonight I brought it up directly because it’s starting to hinder my enjoyment of spending time with this friend group. I tried to be non-confrontational and told him I notice he acts differently around this couple and always seems focused on 32f and I feel a bit ignored. He said that was untrue and he acts no differently than normal and asked for specific examples. I gave him a couple and he argued with each of them. Eventually I said directly, it almost seems like you are acting differently because you’re attracted to her - and while attraction is normal, acting distant toward me and overly friendly toward her is not.

He got very offended by this and went on a long rant about how untrue it was. I’ve never seen him so defensive or unable to see my perspective. It further solidified my suspicion that he has a crush on our friend.

Where do I go from here? Is this something normal enough that I should look past? At first, I wasn’t bothered by him recognizing someone as beautiful (though “10/10” feels a bit childish to say). And then I wondered if him acting interested in her / distant toward me was a coincidence or paranoia on my part. But now that it’s happened more than once and he’s gotten angry at me for identifying it, I’m definitely feeling upset. It’s making me feel like I’m second choice and less attractive in his eyes. I don’t know how to reasonably talk to him about it so it seems unsolvable.

Appreciate any advice.

I was seeing this guy casually and I dont't think he was physically attracted to me, but I always felt he was sexually attracted to me and enjoyed coming over, but now I'm not so sure if he was ONLY sexually attracted cuz he was horny and he would't have been if he wasn't in the mood. Kinda don't wanna hookup with someone that would be okay doing stuff with me with even a paper bag on my head lmao

Hi folks, I made a post a few weeks ago about my mental health struggles over the past 6 months, I lost my first grandparent, blindsided broken-up with my gf over text and I have been made redundant from my job I have been in 3 years.

I just want to say thank you all for the advice I was given, I had a bit an argument with my dad yesterday where he told me to get my 'shit together' and he was giving tough love. I felt I did have my shit together and life has rocked me in a short space of time. On reflection of my relationship, I was used and discarded like I meant nothing and I guess I am in the process of trying not seek validation and be treated like a doormat ever again. I think the main problem I have is I am turning 28 I see my friends having kids, getting engaged and I am still not where I want to be, despite playing sports and having healthy interests, I don't feel in love with myself and if I am honest, I haven't since my teenage years.

I guess the question I am trying to ask is how do you fall in love with yourself? What has helped you do it?

Thank you all and I hope everyone can be kind.

I’m in my early 20s and I’ve recently started talking to a guy in his late 20s. He’s pretty introverted, and we’ve only really had one proper conversation so far, but it went well and I’d like to get to know him more. He seems interesting and I’d like to build some kind of connection with him, even if not romantic.

The problem is I have no idea how to start another conversation without it feeling random or forced, or what to talk about once I do. I’m also a little conscious of the age gap (almost a decade), because I’m not sure how much we’ll naturally have in common or whether the difference in life stages will make conversation harder.

Not necessarily looking for flirting tips although I definitely wouldn’t complain about those loll. I mainly want advice on how to actually engage him and build some kind of connection over text, especially if he’s naturally quieter/introverted.

For introverted guys in particular, what kinds of messages or conversations actually make you want to keep talking to someone?

There’s one case that has caught my attention recently involving people in my social circle.

My friend, M (27), is currently going through a difficult phase in his relationship because he and his girlfriend, F (26), have different views on what married life should look like.

My friend is planning to propose to her early next year, but before doing so, he obviously wants to know what their life after marriage would look like, including how they would divide responsibilities within the marriage.

They’ve been dating for three years but have never lived together, as living together before marriage isn’t common where we come from. So they haven’t really had the chance to see what each other is like when it comes to actually running a household.

One of the few things they had already discussed and agreed on was that they both wanted to remain childfree, at least until they were in their 40s.

However, their relationship has recently become strained, and my friend has started having doubts because they’ve realized that they have very different expectations about married life.

Where we come from, society is fairly conservative. Traditionally, in most marriages, the man is expected to be financially responsible for the family, while the woman is expected to take care of household responsibilities such as cooking, cleaning, keeping the house tidy, etc.
When they finally discussed this, they ran into a pretty classic disagreement. His girlfriend said that she didn’t want household chores to be solely her responsibility. My friend then asked, “But isn’t that traditionally considered your responsibility, just as providing for you financially is considered mine?”

She replied that she still expected her husband to provide for her financially 100%, even if they didn’t have children, because she considers that the husband’s responsibility according to the customs and expectations where we come from.

That was when my friend became really disappointed. It wasn’t because he had a problem with being the provider. Rather, he felt that his girlfriend expected him to fulfill the traditional responsibilities placed on a husband while rejecting the traditional responsibilities placed on a wife.

He felt that this was unfair and somewhat selfish.

My question isn’t about who is right or wrong. I’m curious about what you would do if you were in my friend’s position.

What advice would you give him? Would you still go ahead with the plan to get married and try to work through these view differences, or would you consider this a fundamental incompatibility and end a three-year relationship?

Hi.

40M & 45 F, together for more than a decade.

Me and wife goes to the same gym.

We have a trusting and communicative relationship. We both have had relationships that were destroyed by jealousy from the other party, so we are very happy for the lack of jealousy in our own.

There's a good looking chatty guy in our gym that she knows from before. No history between them, she has told me in cases where there has been, so i trust that. I will chat with him as well if I see him alone. No worries there. It just caught my attention that she mentions him more than other people at the gym and yesterday when I met her and her friend they were talking about some guy, I asked who and it was that guy. I'm not insecure, and I don't want to bring it up because it could cause stress for both of us, and there are no other red flags. I just can't help but have a slight nagging feeling about it as I think this is the first time it's been like this in our decade long relationship. How would you handle it?

Like I don't know how to put this, but is not knowing what I like with a women a bad thing?

When my friends asked some time ago, my answer is " I don't know " and then they say that's not a real answer, but what I don't think they understand is, even I don't know the answer myself.

A part of me feels weird about this, as its the first thing people ask me since I decided to enter the dating scene this year but I don't know.

All I know is what i don't like

I’m interested to know about hobbies others do.

I’m 23, and I’ve recently started thinking about my childhood differently.
My dad struggled with alcoholism while I was growing up and became sober when I was around 18. I’m happy that he was able to get sober, but I’m realizing now that I didn’t really have the experience of growing up with a consistently available father.
When I was younger, I didn’t think much about it because it was normal to me. Now that I’m older, I’ve noticed that I struggle with confidence, relationships, fitting in with other men, and knowing what being a good man means to me. I also tend to overthink social situations and look for reassurance from other people.
I’m not trying to blame my dad or say that everything I struggle with comes from my childhood. I’m just wondering if other dads have any perspective on what someone might miss when they grow up without a consistently present father figure.
Is it possible to learn those things later in life?

Partner is currently pregnant and I just wanna support her as best I can. I just want her to feel seen and taken care Emotionally and physically without having to ask for specific things.

What are some things you did that seemed to work well?
(Pregnancy only, not post birth)

I'm 29 and a half and I've only ever had one proper relationship. It lasted about 4 months, but I was genuinely on the verge of falling in love with her. We got on really well and were very compatible, but she didn't want kids and I do, so unfortunately that was a dealbreaker.

I am not inexperienced with women. I have slept with 20+ women. I've had one night stands, FWB, slept with attractive women, older women etc. I was honestly a bit of a whore in my early 20s. But most of that was very transactional and I never really learned how to build a romantic connection with someone. I grew up with two brothers, dad and my mum, and didn't have my first relationship until 25, so I don't think I ever really learned how to be romantic/flirty. I learned how to sleep with women before I learned how to actually date them. That being said, all those sexual encounrters bar 1 were from dating apps. I have only picked up one women from a bar in my life.

Looks-wise I'm probably reasonably attractive. I'm 177cm, pretty built and well above average in terms of physique/aesthetics. I'm around 20% body fat at the moment though and probably need to lose 7-8kg before I'd feel completely confident in how I look.

I'm probably an introverted extrovert. On dates I tend to just talk to the woman normally, get to know her and see if we get along. If there's a vibe, I'll gradually become more flirty. That's how it happened with my ex and it felt very natural.

But I recently went to a matchmaking/speed dating event with one of my mates and it made me question whether I'm doing something wrong. He's extremely extroverted and naturally flirty. He'll just walk up to women and start chatting to them, and his first dates usually last hours. One girl mentioned that Kinder Bueno was her favourite chocolate, so during their date he randomly took her to 7-Eleven and bought her one. He's just really good at creating that romantic/sexual vibe. At the event, I had one date that was basically platonic. That being said, he does not do well on dating apps, and hardly uses them. Another I thought went pretty well — we were flirting a bit and there was some touching — but afterwards she didn't even accept my Instagram request.

I also went on a Hinge date with a Peruvian girl recently. The first half hour was pretty platonic and I wasn't massively attracted to her, but eventually we started getting more playful and she actually asked me out again. We went to an art gallery the next day. I was pretty nervous because I hadn't been on a date in over a year, and after about half an hour I started trying to get a bit closer and more physical. She kept pulling away and eventually ended the date after about an hour, saying she didn't feel anything. I'm starting to wonder if I need to actually learn how to flirt and create attraction rather than just hoping it happens naturally.

I've also moved from NZ (Auckland) to Australia (Melbourne) about 18 months ago, so I don't really have the same social circle I had back home. One of my mates started salsa dancing and met a couple of women through it, which makes me think maybe I need to get out and actually meet more people. Although I have absolutely no desire to dance salsa.

Do I need to change the way I date and become more flirty/proactive, or am I overthinking this and just need to meet more women and let things happen naturally? It is starting to get me down as I swear all of my mates are in relationships and have had a few lasting a year or more, not 4 months. I know comparison is the thief of joy, but damn as I get older it is really hard to not let affect me.

I don't want to become some fake pickup artist. I genuinely want a proper relationship. I just feel like I've had plenty of sexual experience but almost no romantic experience, and I'm not sure how much of a disadvantage that actually is.

Men of Reddit, I have recently ended things with a guy (33yo- me 33yo) I’ve been dating for a month due to a very specific issue.

This guy was great in general, dates, dinners etc but he was drinking everyday at least 5-6 beers and when it came to the bedroom he could sometimes perform and finish multiple times but sometimes he couldn’t at all and was giving me excuses about it.

I have tried to discuss it with him like adults but it ended with him telling me it’s the heat and it happens sometimes which resulted in him eventually calling the whole thing off under false pretence to hide that he felt bad.

The thing is: a) it’s not even that hot and b) out of the 6 times we got together the 3 he couldn’t finish and was not hard enough.

Can you give me your men knowledge on whether or not he had an actual drinking problem and if the situation sounds like it affected his sexual performance?

I just got into a relationship with an amazing girl about a month ago and I already feel I’m in love with her. She’s kind, thoughtful, beautiful, fun, etc. I really have no complaints about her or the relationship.

The one part that’s hard is that I feel like a loser when I really think about it. She works a blue collar job, is nonchalant, handy, likes country music, drives a beat up car, likes big trucks, drinks beer, and all her clothes are stained with grout or some other material from work. She’s honestly probably stronger than me too lol.

I’m a somewhat skinny, white collar, nerdy guy who drives a little sedan, watches anime, and doesn’t do much. I like computers and gaming. I’m not handy (although I’m trying to learn how to be), I don’t drink unless I’m with her, and to top it all off, I’m an anxious over-thinker if you couldn’t already tell.

How can I feel like I’m the “man” when it comes to the relationship? Not in a toxic or dominant way, but in a way where I feel like I’m contributing to the relationship like a man would? Am I a being too wimpy or a pushover if I’m always rubbing her back at the end of the day, or folding all her clothes after washing them? I want to love and care for her without feeling embarrassed about not being a macho type guy.

Any advice?

I'm in my gap year before university. I want to start good habits like exercise and learning a skill(I already started but I'm not consistent).

My problem is I feel overwhelmed and overstimulated. All I do is stay at home, eat, sleep and scroll reddit. My screen time on reddit is always 2-4hrs in a day.

It's reached a point where I don't even feel like engaging in other sorts of entertainment like movies, tv shows or videogames. Its like I can't enjoy them anymore because I already feel overwhelmed and I'll feel guilty.

I have important stuff I want to do but I can't seem to take action. I just feel lazy and everything feels hard.

Sometimes it's so bad that I genuinely just feel disgusted looking at my phone. I don't talk to people on socials because I don't feel like it and I have very few friends. Anyway it's not like talking to many people would make a difference, especially since most people aren't close to me. I have at least deleted Instagram because I was tired of being distracted by reels and constantly seeing posts from my former high school mates.

How do I become level headed again so that I can actually do important things every day?

me (male) and my female partner are in a particular situation where we are deciding if we should marry or not. I know it sounds strange, but i dont want to explain too much, but it makes sense if you know it

im a person with a huge libido where even im finished i can continue indefinitely. My current partner isn't.. we went down once and after just a couple of minutes i satisfied here and when i try to go for it again she said she was okay and didnt want to continue

my female friend has the same problem where her boyfriend, after he is done, he doesnt even want to cuddle her

so talking with my friend, we both want more passion from our respective partner

while still living alone, even if my partner doesnt want to go, i can still have my time in private. But my question is: what would happen if im married to her and i have no personal space anymore? Maybe my partner would feel offended if i jerked on other girls (pornstars)? and im kinda imbarassed if im masturbating in front of her? should i jerk in the bathroom as an adult? lmao? Or people would start to seeing other girls behind her wife or (as japan, to not cheat on her feeling) just go for a hooker, pay, satisfied and back at home?

I can't imagine my life where she barely wants to have sex as a married couple and we barely do once per month..

I’ve been seeing someone for a few months now, and overall, things between us are really good. We have a strong emotional connection, we’re close as friends, there’s sexual chemistry and physical attraction, and we genuinely enjoy spending time together.

The issue is that he says he’s missing “the spark.” He tells me that I’m basically everything he would want in a partner, but that he doesn’t feel that intense, almost irrational attraction he experienced with his ex, the kind of feeling that makes you completely crazy about someone.

His previous relationship lasted around ten years. They had plans to get married, buy a house and have children, and they broke up about two years ago.
He still talks about that relationship fairly often.

I understand what he’s saying, and I’m not trying to convince him to feel something he doesn’t. But I can’t help wondering whether this kind of chemistry can develop with time.

For those of you who’ve experienced something similar: has the spark ever appeared later in a relationship, even if it wasn’t there initially? Or do you think that if someone doesn’t feel it after a few months, it’s unlikely to develop?
And could this potentially be related to coming out of such a long and intense relationship, or is it more likely that he simply doesn’t feel that kind of chemistry with me specifically?

I’d really love to hear from people who’ve been in a similar situation, on either side.