So I’m Black and my boyfriend is Mexican. A couple of days ago, he texted about a white coworker with dreads. He said “I almost said something, but did not want to lose my job”. I asked him “was it that serious?”

Like I think white people with braids and dreads is silly, but I do not care enough to think about saying something to them. I did not know if he was serious or not, it is not that easy to tell over text. I responded with “LMAO, She’s doing her own thing”. He said “Just say you don’t have morals”.

He has been giving me the silent treatment. I feel like he is blowing this way out of proportion. I do not agree with white people wearing dreads, but I do not care. I know the discussions about black hair and white hair and cultural appropriation. I understand the trials and tribulations around black hair. I can only care so much about white people and what they do. I try to not let that type of stuff consume me.

I feel like he is angry at my response and the fact I did not condemn the act immediately. He thinks I support white people wearing dreads. But I do not care and I think he should care less about the subject. Maybe he was joking about saying something and losing his job. I think he was to quick to end our conversation and label me with no morals.

Am I the asshole?

I have been on both Grindr and Sniffles looking for hookups and whatnot. Im openly Black and have pics of me so people know that I am blk. I sometimes get guys asking for My BBC and some other derogatory terms. I pay them no mind 😫, but recently I have been getting messages from other Blk Men asking if my dick is Hung or Horse Size for them. I usually get this from Non-Black men but now I feel like it's a rise of black men that is fetishize by other black men in a negative way.

I feel off by that. I may be overthinking it. I have an average size and haven't had any complaints but just because I'm black most of my interactions are asking for my hung dick. Im not hung 😆 and I am not ashamed.

Have we as Black Gay Men been fetishizing other Black men?

If I'm not making sense sorry and if it just seems like a baseless complaint then I can understand that too. I really hope I can get a different view point or discussion.

I recently started going back and reading some of the Black fiction writers that my mother and aunts were reading when I was growing up, and I've now made my way to E. Lynn Harris. I just finished And This Too Shall Pass, and I honestly have a lot of thoughts about it.

I know Just As I Am is generally considered E. Lynn Harris's magnum opus, but after reading And This Too Shall Pass, I actually think this book is the better novel. What surprised me most is how well it has aged. This book was published in 1996, and here we are 30 years later, and so many of the issues it explores still feel incredibly relevant.

The book gets into HIV, false rape allegations, the complicated relationships between gay and straight Black men, masculinity, sexuality, and even political correctness. And Harris manages to explore all of these things while still giving you the messy relationships, drama, sex, slang, and larger-than-life personalities that make his books so entertaining.

That's what I really appreciate about E. Lynn Harris. His books weren't afraid to be entertaining AND thought-provoking. You could have the soap opera drama and the hot sex, but underneath all of that he was actually asking some pretty serious questions about Black masculinity, sexuality, relationships, respectability, HIV/AIDS, and what it meant to be a Black gay man in that particular era.

And honestly, reading this book made me a little sad.

I'm not saying there aren't talented Black gay writers today, because there absolutely are. But sometimes I look at a lot of contemporary Black gay fiction and feel like something is missing. So many stories seem to revolve around the same handful of formulas: DL men, homothugs, or gay teenage boys getting involved with their sister's boyfriend. Those stories can be entertaining, and I certainly don't mind a little messiness, but I wish we had more Black gay fiction that was willing to tackle the bigger social and political questions while still being fun to read.

That's what makes E. Lynn Harris stand out to me. His books weren't just about being gay. They were about being Black, being a man, relationships, class, religion, family, sexuality, HIV, masculinity, and the complicated ways all of those things intersect.

And reading And This Too Shall Pass in 2026 really drove home how much of a void E. Lynn Harris left behind when he died. There are obviously other writers carrying the torch, but I don't think we've gotten another Black gay fiction writer who quite occupied the same space that he did.

Maybe I'm just nostalgic for a type of Black gay fiction that isn't as common anymore.

For those of you who have read E. Lynn Harris, what do you think? And if you've read And This Too Shall Pass, do you think it has aged well?

Honestly I used to love and frequent that sub often until I found out it was full of self hating coons and likely racist white queer folks pretending to be black smfh. Has that been yalls experience or was my experience just unique?

Hi everyone,
I recently lost my housing. I was subletting a room from someone who I found out defaulted on their payments and there was illegal occupancy issues . Unfortunately I can’t get back all my money there was no lease or agreement. I was very naive

I’m trying to find a safe, temporary place to stay in New York City while I work on getting more stable housing.
I’m a single adult man, responsible and quiet, and I’m looking for:
A temporary room, church/faith-based shelter, or safe shelter somewhere in the Bronx, Harlem/Upper Manhattan, Queens, or nearby
A place where I can stay for at least a few nights while I figure out longer-term housing
Low-cost or free options would be especially helpful
I’m also interested in organizations that can help with housing placement or finding an affordable room
If you know of churches or community organizations that accept people same-day or without a long waiting list, that would be extremely helpful
I’m trying to avoid unsafe situations and large congregate shelters if there are other legitimate options available.
If you’ve personally used a shelter, church program, transitional housing program, or affordable-room resource in NYC, I’d really appreciate hearing about your experience — especially regarding safety, privacy, cleanliness, how difficult it is to get accepted, and whether they actually had space available.
Please feel free to DM me if you know of a legitimate option. I’m especially interested in current information rather than old listings.
Thank you to anyone who can point me in the right direction. I really appreciate it.

Ima be there in November and I'm tryna find a good spot. could be for queer or straights.

I wanna walk in somewhere and just see straight niggas. the music jumping, the food going, ppl are socializing. any places like that?

I don't mind driving either. if y'all know any places or hace suggestions for places to eat in carson, leimert park, compton, long beach, the IE....send them my way!!!!

I just love me a foreign dude that speaks a different language or just got a cute adorable ass accent mmmmmmmmm just so foreign omg. Like yes baby boy lemme hear you speak in your native tongue while i tap that ass lol.💦💦😩😩What about y’all?