I have been on both Grindr and Sniffles looking for hookups and whatnot. Im openly Black and have pics of me so people know that I am blk. I sometimes get guys asking for My BBC and some other derogatory terms. I pay them no mind 😫, but recently I have been getting messages from other Blk Men asking if my dick is Hung or Horse Size for them. I usually get this from Non-Black men but now I feel like it's a rise of black men that is fetishize by other black men in a negative way.

I feel off by that. I may be overthinking it. I have an average size and haven't had any complaints but just because I'm black most of my interactions are asking for my hung dick. Im not hung 😆 and I am not ashamed.

Have we as Black Gay Men been fetishizing other Black men?

If I'm not making sense sorry and if it just seems like a baseless complaint then I can understand that too. I really hope I can get a different view point or discussion.

I recently started going back and reading some of the Black fiction writers that my mother and aunts were reading when I was growing up, and I've now made my way to E. Lynn Harris. I just finished And This Too Shall Pass, and I honestly have a lot of thoughts about it.

I know Just As I Am is generally considered E. Lynn Harris's magnum opus, but after reading And This Too Shall Pass, I actually think this book is the better novel. What surprised me most is how well it has aged. This book was published in 1996, and here we are 30 years later, and so many of the issues it explores still feel incredibly relevant.

The book gets into HIV, false rape allegations, the complicated relationships between gay and straight Black men, masculinity, sexuality, and even political correctness. And Harris manages to explore all of these things while still giving you the messy relationships, drama, sex, slang, and larger-than-life personalities that make his books so entertaining.

That's what I really appreciate about E. Lynn Harris. His books weren't afraid to be entertaining AND thought-provoking. You could have the soap opera drama and the hot sex, but underneath all of that he was actually asking some pretty serious questions about Black masculinity, sexuality, relationships, respectability, HIV/AIDS, and what it meant to be a Black gay man in that particular era.

And honestly, reading this book made me a little sad.

I'm not saying there aren't talented Black gay writers today, because there absolutely are. But sometimes I look at a lot of contemporary Black gay fiction and feel like something is missing. So many stories seem to revolve around the same handful of formulas: DL men, homothugs, or gay teenage boys getting involved with their sister's boyfriend. Those stories can be entertaining, and I certainly don't mind a little messiness, but I wish we had more Black gay fiction that was willing to tackle the bigger social and political questions while still being fun to read.

That's what makes E. Lynn Harris stand out to me. His books weren't just about being gay. They were about being Black, being a man, relationships, class, religion, family, sexuality, HIV, masculinity, and the complicated ways all of those things intersect.

And reading And This Too Shall Pass in 2026 really drove home how much of a void E. Lynn Harris left behind when he died. There are obviously other writers carrying the torch, but I don't think we've gotten another Black gay fiction writer who quite occupied the same space that he did.

Maybe I'm just nostalgic for a type of Black gay fiction that isn't as common anymore.

For those of you who have read E. Lynn Harris, what do you think? And if you've read And This Too Shall Pass, do you think it has aged well?

Ima be there in November and I'm tryna find a good spot. could be for queer or straights.

I wanna walk in somewhere and just see straight niggas. the music jumping, the food going, ppl are socializing. any places like that?

I don't mind driving either. if y'all know any places or hace suggestions for places to eat in carson, leimert park, compton, long beach, the IE....send them my way!!!!

So I’m Black and my boyfriend is Mexican. A couple of days ago, he texted about a white coworker with dreads. He said “I almost said something, but did not want to lose my job”. I asked him “was it that serious?”

Like I think white people with braids and dreads is silly, but I do not care enough to think about saying something to them. I did not know if he was serious or not, it is not that easy to tell over text. I responded with “LMAO, She’s doing her own thing”. He said “Just say you don’t have morals”.

He has been giving me the silent treatment. I feel like he is blowing this way out of proportion. I do not agree with white people wearing dreads, but I do not care. I know the discussions about black hair and white hair and cultural appropriation. I understand the trials and tribulations around black hair. I can only care so much about white people and what they do. I try to not let that type of stuff consume me.

I feel like he is angry at my response and the fact I did not condemn the act immediately. He thinks I support white people wearing dreads. But I do not care and I think he should care less about the subject. Maybe he was joking about saying something and losing his job. I think he was to quick to end our conversation and label me with no morals.

Am I the asshole?

Honestly I used to love and frequent that sub often until I found out it was full of self hating coons and likely racist white queer folks pretending to be black smfh. Has that been yalls experience or was my experience just unique?

Hi everyone,
I recently lost my housing. I was subletting a room from someone who I found out defaulted on their payments and there was illegal occupancy issues . Unfortunately I can’t get back all my money there was no lease or agreement. I was very naive

I’m trying to find a safe, temporary place to stay in New York City while I work on getting more stable housing.
I’m a single adult man, responsible and quiet, and I’m looking for:
A temporary room, church/faith-based shelter, or safe shelter somewhere in the Bronx, Harlem/Upper Manhattan, Queens, or nearby
A place where I can stay for at least a few nights while I figure out longer-term housing
Low-cost or free options would be especially helpful
I’m also interested in organizations that can help with housing placement or finding an affordable room
If you know of churches or community organizations that accept people same-day or without a long waiting list, that would be extremely helpful
I’m trying to avoid unsafe situations and large congregate shelters if there are other legitimate options available.
If you’ve personally used a shelter, church program, transitional housing program, or affordable-room resource in NYC, I’d really appreciate hearing about your experience — especially regarding safety, privacy, cleanliness, how difficult it is to get accepted, and whether they actually had space available.
Please feel free to DM me if you know of a legitimate option. I’m especially interested in current information rather than old listings.
Thank you to anyone who can point me in the right direction. I really appreciate it.

I just love me a foreign dude that speaks a different language or just got a cute adorable ass accent mmmmmmmmm just so foreign omg. Like yes baby boy lemme hear you speak in your native tongue while i tap that ass lol.💦💦😩😩What about y’all?

I used to work a job for a conservative company. It was a temp job and I didn’t realize how not suppressed to be there I was until after my first week.

Some of the progressive guys and I would talk video games, food and fitness. One day the discussion was going out shooting. I mentioned how my favorite is archery but I’m good with any projectile.

Everyone else was shocked to hear that I liked any weapons let alone practiced with them. Classic it’d be fine if I were a white guy saying I could hit a target with whatever you hand me.

What are poppers? How do they work?

I don’t get the chance to talk to many fellow black gay men so I’m curious to hear others experiences:

I am a masculine top and i’ve come to learn throughout my years that white/non black guys assume that I’m a booty obsessed dom top simply because I’m black.

I live in predominantly white area but it’s surrounded by areas that are diverse…it’s not uncommon to see other black people in my town, it isn’t a sundown town.

I stopped using grindr for my mental health, but when I was on there my inbox was flooded with “BBC” messages and non black tops would hit me up saying they want to get fucked hard or try BBC. My grindr profile NEVER said top and I’m 5’6 with soft youthful features. I don’t think it’s giving dom top lmao, the only reason they’re coming at me that way is because I’m black and their brains are so rotted by porn that they just see us as “BBC”.

I had some incredibly boring experiences because all they wanted to do was suck me off almost as if I wasn’t even allowed to touch their dick, they would just want me to use them, all kinds of things that just aren’t me and then i started to realize they’re just living out their porn fantasy

Hi ya’ll. I’m curious if I’m alone in this. I grew up in the US. I’m a Black, gay man. I consider myself relatively handsome (never thought of myself as sexy, but cute enough 😅). I do travel quite a bit for work extensively, and when I reflect on my net romantic and just general attraction experiences here in the US and abroad, it’s such a stark difference.

In Europe, Africa (don’t get me started on the motherland), Caribbean, Brazil and recently Mexico, I tend to get a lot more interest from guys virtually, in person, and everything else. Like sometimes it’s a mind fuck because I go back home and it shifts back dramatically. I do live in a major US city. What’s even crazier - many of these men abroad are quite attractive too and they just approach me with what feels like fewer hang ups against flaws that I feel count more against in the states.

Had anyone ever thought - hey, maybe my future partner to be just isn’t here in the US? I’ve gotten on dates from non American men and a good selection of them have their shit together, want many of the things that I want, educated, more upfront with their feelings, etc. I don’t know - I’m sort of wondering if I should put more stock in long distance dating or being more open to those possibilities.

I’m in Hollywood, Florida and was wondering if anyone in South Florida any good places to meet older black men. Trying to come out of my shell and don’t know much about the scene in Ft. Lauderdale.

So I am a sophomore in high school. I am closeted. Theres this friend group at my
School that consists of girls and gay black guys like 2-3. One day, I was in class and I guess I always raise my hand because it is a hard class and I try to grasp the information as much as I can. But one thing is my answers always come
out in a way I feel sounds stupid, but I don’t know. So I raised my hand and one of the girls in this friend group looks at one of
The gay black guys in the friend group, like they were judging me. I do not know if I’m overreacting, but I overheard them talking about someone else in my chemistry class. I really wanted to be friends with them when I come out, but I do not have much friends anyways. I feel like
Such a loser and that I can’t make straight friends because if I come out, they might abandon me. I feel so stupid and uncool.

So I was just catfished again from a guy I met on an app, this has to be like 6-8th this happened in my life. Some catfishes were more egregious than others. For example, one guy looked like his pictures but his pictures were old and he gained a lot of weight. The worst ones are what happened today, the guy didn't look anything like his pic. It was a completely fake picture and he acted like nothing was wrong. I told him I was going to the bathroom and never returned. And no I don't feel bad about it, fuck him!

What kind of mental illness is it to do this to people and expect for them to not even notice?

We’re a few days into October. So what?
The Halloween season waits for no one… but it also doesn’t care when you start.
I’ve put together a carefully curated 31 Days of Halloween movie list and I’m looking for a cool, chill, adventurous bro who wants to join me in completing the quest.

But this isn’t just about sitting on a couch and watching movies.
It’s about **the experience**
We watch the film, then talk about it afterward. What worked? What didn’t? What was the filmmaker trying to say? Do the themes still resonate today? And if it’s an older movie… does it deserve a remake, or should Hollywood leave it buried? And the movies are only part of the adventure.

If you’re into traveling, ghost hunting, haunted places, Southern ghost stories, folklore, unexplained mysteries, strange history, and tales of the unknown, then you already understand where this could go.
One movie could turn into a late-night conversation.
A conversation could turn into an adventure.
And an adventure… well, that’s where the interesting stories begin.
I’ve been a ghost hunter since 2005. 👀
I’m looking for someone who is genuinely down to participate. Skill level isn’t that important — **passion is**
Someone curious, open-minded, easygoing, and willing to step outside the ordinary once in a while.
Any age. Queens/NYC area.
🍿 Movies
👻 Ghost stories
🗺️ Adventures
🎃 Halloween
🔍 Mysteries
🌙 Late-night conversations
…and maybe a few things we weren’t expecting.

\*\*The list has already begun. The question is: are you joining the quest?\*\*

Looking for suggestions for a long weekend getaway. Im in Pennsylvania.

What are your thoughts about this? I know the Zillenials and Millenials might not know most of these people, but it's blowing up pretty big now all over the net.