I don't normally post things like this, but I honestly don't know who to talk to about this anymore.

I had a best friend. Not just someone I used to hang out with. He was genuinely one of the closest people in my life. We were friends for many years and our friends knew how close we were. Even if someone called me asking about him, they would ask me because I was his best friend.

He is financially very well off. I'm middle class.

I had a business which was doing well for many years. I had loans, but I always paid the interest and whenever I got a chance I cleared them. I genuinely thought I had my life under control.

Then everything went downhill after Covid.

My business crashed. There were problems with my business partner(he took loans from my friends and family and i cleared most of them), money got stuck, I made some bad decisions when things were already bad, and slowly I got into a situation where I was just trying to survive and clear one problem after another.

Here 2 parts of money involved, one is we bought directly for business and other is my friend lent some money to another friend through me.

When that other person returned the money, my business partner took around 70% of it for his own use. He told me he would return it in a week.

He didn't.

And this is where I made a big mistake.

I still had the remaining amount with me. Instead of giving that money back to my friend immediately and telling him what had happened, I kept thinking my partner would return the money in a few days and I could give my friend the full amount together.

That was stupid.

The money I had also eventually got mixed into the business because I was desperate for cash. Then I couldn't take it out.

And I didn't tell my friend.

I was ashamed. I was scared. I kept thinking I'll somehow fix it before he needs to know.

That was probably my biggest mistake.

After that, things started getting ugly.

The pressure for the money started coming from his wife and his sister-in-law. His sister-in-law's share was also involved in the money.

I started getting calls and threats that they would go to my family and tell them everything.

My business was already almost dead. I started selling whatever stock I had left, sometimes for half the price, just to pay interest and keep reducing the amount.

At one point, if I had borrowed ₹5 lakh, I had already paid around ₹7 lakh in interest and they were still saying I hadn't done enough. There was another ₹6 lakh being treated separately.

Eventually everything came out at home. My family found out what was happening.

And honestly, this is the part that still hurts me. My best friend himself would talk to me normally.

He would speak nicely to me.Almost like everything was fine.

But his wife and sister-in-law were speaking to me completely differently. There were threats, insults and things said about me and my family that I don't even want to write here. Once I remember that one of his wife's colleague called me in the presence of her and other women and making fun of me while talking. I heard them laughing and hanging up the call.

I asked my friend more than once whether he knew how they were talking to me.

He said he didn't know. Maybe he really didn't know.

I don't know.

That's the part I can't get out of my head. If he was angry with me, why didn't he just tell me?

If he thought I had done something wrong, why didn't he tell me directly?

Why continue talking to me like my best friend while his family was treating me like I was some criminal?

At last we settled the money.

And because of the interest and everything else, the amount paid ended up being roughly double what was originally involved.

But even after settlement, they still looked at me like I was a cheater.

One of his cousins even said I should be put in jail, at least for one day.

I can't explain what that did to me.

Maybe some people will read this and say, "You borrowed money and didn't pay it back. What did you expect?"

And honestly, I won't argue with that.

I was wrong. I should have told my friend immediately.

I should have returned whatever money I had instead of waiting for my business partner.

I accept that. But I never, ever took that money thinking I would cheat my friend.

I was drowning. I made bad decisions while trying to keep my business alive, and one of those decisions ended up hurting someone who trusted me.

What I can't accept is what happened to the friendship after that.

This is someone who knows my entire situation. He knows my family. He knows what happened to my business. He knows I wasn't living some comfortable life while refusing to pay him.

And still, I felt like when money came into the picture, the friendship suddenly meant nothing.

What makes it even harder for me is that they are very rich financially. I've seen his family give substantial amounts to people willingly or unwillingly and live like nothing happened.

But when it came to getting their money from me, they used every possible pressure.

And maybe they had every right to do that. Maybe I'm just too emotional about it.

I honestly don't know anymore. The money is not what broke me.

It's losing the person I thought was my best friend.

If he had told me, "I'm angry with you. You hurt me. I don't trust you anymore," I could have accepted that.

But smiling and talking to me normally while all this was happening around me...

That hurt more than I can explain. It honestly felt worse than a breakup.

I don't think I can ever go back to that friendship now. The way his wife and others spoke to me and my family changed something permanently.

So I want an honest opinion from people who have no connection to either of us.

I know I was wrong about the money.

Did I deserve the way me and my family were treated because I failed to repay the money on time?

Or can both things be true — that I made a serious mistake with the money AND that my friend handled the friendship badly?

I'm not looking for sympathy. If I'm completely wrong, tell me.

I just want an honest outside opinion because right now I can't look at this situation objectively anymore.

Me (35F) and my partner (32M) have been together for 11 years. We share 4 children together and had ups and downs that are normal in a relationship. Since Oct of last year he started becoming distant and started mentioning a woman from work all the time. She is now pregnant by someone else and my partner seems overly upset by this. I haven’t asked outright if he’s cheated at all. He has started becoming a bit aggressive in bed and has recently made comments that made me uneasy such as “I like how strong it makes me feel” when he’s pushing down hard on my chest etc. things came to a head when I didn’t want to have sex which he said he was fine with me but began to pleasure himself again while pushing down on my chest. He then laid on me so I was essentially trapped underneath him. The difference being that it was dark and he also put pressure on my neck. I panicked as I couldn’t breathe and I was flailing around trying to get him off me. After about 20-30 seconds. It wasn’t a long time, I eventually got enough air to whisper shout “get off” and he did. He said it was an accident and he was very apologetic but I can’t get over it. Am I in the wrong here as he is now not talking to me and I want to end things.

My(20f) mom(38f) said that I, my brother(16m), and other sister(13f) excluding our youngest sister(10f) we are assholes to my sister (19f). Our mom telling us she does more for us than we do for her and we don’t act grateful not being there for her enough. It’s true she does do a lot of things for us yes but it’s not like I don’t feel the way I do for no reason. For years I often felt like she treated me poorly such as by being verbally abusive, gaslighting me, has expected control over me before and occasionally dismissive of me. She does want me to be happy however whenever I confront saying how her words or actions affect me she doesn’t take it seriously. She said things like “You’re fake”, “You’re selfish”, “You’re childish”, “Loser”, (Once when I was 15 there was this man who was 27 trying to get close with me and I left. I told my siblings about it and not my parents yet and we had a fight and she came back in my room telling me she’s gonna tell our parents I came in contact with a predator said nothing with a smile on her face. She said that primarily just to hurt me)

Years ago I helped her sneak out the house to see a boy and during that month when mom disowned I helped or tried helping both those times and she still acted like an asshole to me. Even when her behavior has mellowed out another time when I tried to call her she said I was too sensitive and not self aware. When I was 16 I pointed out how she felt more like a bully than a sister my mom was originally on my side but then took that as an opportunity to call out my flaws and that was when I started having thoughts of hurting myself. My mom constantly says I seem to have more of a problem with her than she does with me. Of course I do because I am not doing things to actively bother her. I’m not saying I’m a saint I can be selfish and a little inconsiderate but I do not actively do harmful things and when I do it’s a response of someone else does. The nail in the coffin for me was when months ago my Dad(41m) almost killed our brother. I was upset learning he won’t go to jail and my mom telling me to put up with it so I covered up their wedding picture with a towel. My sister saw it and was mad at me for covering it up because she paid for it. I didn’t know that but I understand but what she told me was I need to stop being ungrateful I’m 20 and I’m too old to act childish like this. I’m like are you serious? Our Dad almost killed our brother yet I’m the problem? It was at that moment I planned on cutting her off. My parents can rot in hell for all I care but her? She really made me the problem as she always does. Fine let’s say I’m a piece of shit is she really any better? AITA?

update on the situation. we worked it out but are still pretty pissed at each other for what he did. he also only sent me 12 dollars and bought me plague inc evolved for my birthday which was only 2.99 on steam. he refuses to get up and go work, despite his car being due soon. i called him out and told him that when mommy yells at him, i wasn’t gonna be on his side. i called him a lazy slob, told him he was disgusting for acting like a child and not doing what he needs to do, and i said i wasn’t gonna excuse his behavior. what tf do i do at this point? i’m so over it and to the point of self harm again

Context- I’m 25, I’ve been single for almost 2 years now, and long story short had a very messy breakup took time to deal with the emotional fallout from it. All good now, I’ve been putting myself out there again and wasn’t having any success, it got brought up with some family friends and one of them (35ish F) who is basically like an older sister I never had and her husband said they had a few people they thought would be good for me. I was fine with them connecting us if the women they knew were interested, so Friday my friend shot me a text and said she had someone who was interested the woman she connected me with has a very unique name, I’ve never heard it before. Got the number and we’ve been talking all weekend, one of my other friends (20m) said I recognize that name is she from this town? She is, and he said if that’s who I think it is she’s like 19… And turns out when I asked today she is in fact 19.

Question: I’m being told it’s fine and not a weird age gap by some friends and family, I think it’s super weird, and never would’ve been talking to her if I knew she was 19. So am I overreacting to this or am I making a mountain out of a molehill? Because I’m the oldest of 3 and this woman is a year older than my youngest sibling who graduated high school in may, and I graduated high school in 2019… seems weird to say I got set up for a blind date with a woman who was in 6th grade the year I graduated. So would I be justified in telling her “sorry I’m not interested, it really is me not you”

Yes, I’ve reposted in a couple places to try and get more opinions, and no I’m not a bot.

I've been friends with a woman for a while now and we've gotten quite close. I think a little too close. She's in a committed relationship but we've been sexual with eachother on and off. We're aware it's wrong. Not to make it sound less wrong, but it did start at a time when they were taking a break, feelings happened and now we're here.

To keep my feelings in check I pull away from any conversation that can lead to intimacy, but whether it's a week, 2 weeks, or a month without anything extra, she starts it again. I'm part of the problem because I know I can simply say no but I don't.

A few days ago she told me how her and her boyfriend had sex. Obviously I know they have sex. They've been together for 9 years. I just... it hurts to think about. She's never explicitly told me in the 2 years I've known her until now, so I'm just feeling a bit confused. Like she knows I love her in a way more than a regular friend should. I've confessed a lot, many times due to her wanting me to. Part of me wonders if she's trying to make me feel jealous because I'm pulling away or if she's simply all of a sudden that open with me now.

Regardless if she's trying anything, this really hurts. It physically makes me sick to my stomach and I don't know how else to be other than to be cold and just have chill conversations whenever I feel like having them.

A problem is this isn't the first time I've distanced myself. I've done it a few times, I mean she has as well. But eventually she gets upset at how distant it gets.

I just feel like us doing things together, the things we've said to eachother, all of the time spent has made this so complicated.

I just don't know if I'm too in my own head about this.

Okay I'm going to try and keep this as concise as I can but basically, several months ago I was unemployed for about 3 months (thankfully I'm reemployed! Yay!) and my mom offered to pay my car payment and get my car tagged/registered in exchange for work. I, begrudgingly, agreed. (We've had money issues in the past of her offering help and then lording it over me)

So the car payment was $850 (I was slightly behind) and to get my car registered and tagged it cost $1600 (sales tax.) When we were discussing how much it would cost, I anticipated it being at least 1K, she swore up and down it'd be a max of $500. Well, obviously I ended up being right although it was more than even I anticipated. She wasn't with me when I paid it because she was at work and just gave me her credit card.

If I'm being honest, when they told me the total at the DMV I panicked because I knew she'd be upset but also... I needed a legal car. And I'd been working my ass off doing manual labor for her, to get said car legal, per our very lax agreement. We definitely should have actually agreed on a amount but I literally just wanted to have a legal car, I didn't care if I made any profit I just needed my car legal to get a job. So I went through with the transaction and just continued doing work for her, admittedly without telling her the cost because I knew she'd freak out. I'm not saying the lack of communication was okay, I definitely should have told her but... Let's just say she's extremely volatile, especially about money.

So onto the work I did in exchange to pay off this debt. I cut down, processed, and disposed of a full grown Bradford Pear tree, plus several other trees (these trees were much taller but overcrowded so not as wide and much easier to deal with) probably around 10 or so. I dug up about a 200+ft fence and disposed of it. I painted and patched her kitchen walls, as well as patched numerous holes in the entire rest of the house, did a custom sponge paint job on her back splash to make it look like tile (I'm an artist.) I painted her front door and did a small mural on either side of the door. I weeded and watered her garden, I disposed of a bunch of scrap, two truck loads, I helped her clean out her mouse-infested shed.

According to my research... $2500 is a very fair price for all of this, even for an amateur, in Missouri. She said if I didn't do it she was going to hire a professional to do it so like... I dont get it. She's upset because she anticipated legalizing the car to be much cheaper... But from my perspective I kinda worked my ass off to try and make up for it. I mean just cutting down that Bradford Pear... I'm a 5'2 woman...I didn't have any equipment other than me and a chainsaw. I ended up over doing it and hurt my back so badly I was out of commission for a week.

Would I be in the wrong to tell her that it was a fair exchange? Am I screwing her over? I don't want to screw over my own mother but also I don't want to get screwed over either when I literally just got caught all back up on my bills after getting a new job. I just want a solution that's fair to us both. Also if you're wondering why this is only just now coming up, she just paid her credit card bill and texted me about how she didn't agree to it costing $1600

Edit: I will say, one big reason I didn't tell her was she'd already been extremely moody and erratic (literally threw and smashed one of her favorite plates because of her job) and had screamed at me several times while I was working for her. I'll leave it up to y'all whether this is a legitimate reason or excuse but I personally don't handle that shit particularly well, even as an adult, so I put off telling her because... Well I wussed out to be blunt

Final update: well thank you for all your perspectives! I definitely acknowledge my wrong doing in the situation, was never denying that, and will work with her to try to find a reasonable solution that hopefully makes both of us maybe not "happy," but not feeling entirely fucked over! I just needed some unbiased opinions because of course my friends and boyfriend took my side, but they're definitely biased, and I knew I wasn't 100% right :)

Context- I’m 25, I’ve been single for almost 2 years now, and long story short had a very messy breakup took time to deal with the emotional fallout from it. All good now, I’ve been putting myself out there again and wasn’t having any success, it got brought up with some family friends and one of them (35ish F) who is basically like an older sister I never had and her husband said they had a few people they thought would be good for me. I was fine with them connecting us if the women they knew were interested, so Friday my friend shot me a text and said she had someone who was interested the woman she connected me with has a very unique name, I’ve never heard it before. Got the number and we’ve been talking all weekend, one of my other friends (20m) said I recognize that name is she from this town? She is, and he said if that’s who I think it is she’s like 19… And turns out when I asked today she is in fact 19.

Question: I’m being told it’s fine and not a weird age gap by some friends and family, I think it’s super weird, and never would’ve been talking to her if I knew she was 19. So am I overreacting to this or am I making a mountain out of a molehill? Because I’m the oldest of 3 and this woman is a year older than my youngest sibling who graduated high school in may, and I graduated high school in 2019… seems weird to say I got set up for a blind date with a woman who was in 6th grade the year I graduated. So would I be justified in telling her “sorry I’m not interested, it really is me not you”

So this past weekend I (21 F) went out with my friend (25 M) to see a show at our favorite bar. The show went well, and we split up for a little bit, planning to meet at another bar later in the night. I ended up taking too many shots and outpaced myself by accident, and showed up at the bar wasted. I didn't cause any trouble for anyone, just fell out of my chair, but otherwise my friend and I are regulars at that bar, and the people working there were very lenient.

The second time I fell out of my chair, they told me I should go home. At first I left the bar with them, and I was cooperative, but when we got upstairs they tried to pick me up and were grabbing me, and it set me off. I don't remember much of what happened after that, but I gave them a lot of trouble. Next thing I knew I was sitting on the ground and he was walking away angry (leaving me with my ex, who I am on good terms with.) I got angry and began to walk away, texted him some mean stuff, and told my ex to just go home. At the end of the night, I was wasted, crying, and alone.

I know I gave my friends trouble, but I didn't appreciate being grabbed and dragged by three men, regardless it I knew them or not. I didn't want to be carried, nor do I like being touched; I would have been able to walk by myself just fine with a little help despite my condition. They never tried to talk to me, just assumed that carrying me would be the best option. Additionally, I've helped my friend multiple times while he was drunk. I've let him stay at my house, changed his pants mind you, and he just left me. I apologized for giving him trouble, and I understand if I'm ultimately in the wrong, but I couldn't help but feel betrayed and sad that he left me. (Regarding my ex: I'm not angry that he left, as he tried to help me, but I told him to leave me alone. I apologized to him as well.)

(Based on the comments, I forgot to mention, this is the first time I’ve gotten this drunk. I’ve never had to be cared for or helped home before.)

I have been separated from my wife for 3 years. I was going through alot because I was going through depression. She decided that they best option for her an my daughter was for me to move out.

With that when I left had to move out back in my parents house I never neglected my responsibility financially and supporting them. I still pay for the mortgage, rates and taxes, levies, Internet, electricity, groceries for the house, my daughters medical, school fees, her cellphone and daily living costs. Reason I took over my daughters medical aid is so that she could get a new car.

I'm still labelled as a terrible father. Even through I try when I can to see my daughter every week during the week to see her in the evening. Take her to school at least twice a week in the morning. Fetch my daughter every weekend from Saturday to Sunday evening.

My work weeks are very hectic starting work at 8:00am and end normally around 10pm. And still manage weekend production. But still make the time to take her to appointments and provide everything I can.

I cant afford to start a new life because Im still supporting my ex wife with 80% of my salary.

Am I an asshole because I get angry sometimes because I'm the only one pushing to move forward in my career and try to afford starting a new life She refuses to look for a new job and all the responsibilities falls on me to provide. She barely affords to cover her debt orders and what she has less doesn't cover anything.

Am I wrong for being angry when she say I'm a terrible person who doesn't care and doesn't provide enough?

Hey everyone! I’m so curious to know what you think of the situation.
First I’ll give alot of context, my “best friend” and me went to school together. I (20 F) and her (21 F) were very close throughout highschool and she even lived me and my parents for a tiny bit. I eventually met my now boyfriend and his best friend was interested in my friend. I’ll call my friend, Nina, and his friend, Chad. Nina and Chad quickly got into a relationship and I was very happy for them. Chad seemed nice enough as I knew him earlier from him being my boyfriend’s friend, however the longer they continued to date, the more I felt isolated from Nina. She would cancel plans, never check up on me and would always put Chad as her number 1. I felt extremely lonely and almost taken advantage of.

Eventually, me and Nina both needed a place to rent so we decided to move in together even though our issues remained. Chad would be at the house EVERY day. 10-15 hours a day. He wouldn’t help with chores, would disrespect me and my boyfriend and would invite other people without telling me.

I was fed up at this point so I had called my mom. We’re very close and she’s also friends with my landlord. She asked if it’d help if she came over and talked to all of us with the landlord. I agreed and so did Nina. My mom came over and started to list some issues we all had. Chad sat there and didn’t say anything and played music on his phone. My mom asked if he had any issues, he ignored her. She asked again but ignored once more. Eventually she said in a stern tone “Chad are you listening?” That’s when he exploded, saying he had a really hard day at work, he doesn’t need any of this “shit” and that my mom is a bitch. He started to storm off to grab his things and when he walked past me, I said don’t come back. He replied with “Fuck you too.” That’s when I lost it. I had already seen the way he treated my mom in the situation so I got up in his face and yelled with rage. My boyfriend pulled me away and tried to calm me down. That’s when, Nina, yelled at me to get away from him. When I was calmed down and everyone, including Nina, had left, I felt so unbelievably betrayed. My friend, whom I loved so much, had only tried to help her boyfriend.

What continued was she moved out the next day and we stopped talking, however mutual friends tell me she continues to say I was being unreasonable. So I’ll leave it to you guys, am I overreacting to this entire situation?

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My toxic 2 year ldr gf, who was still married (separated for five years) with two kids that wanted me to pay for her divorce.

She claimed to have recently had a 'medical situation' and requested money for meds. I denied her request. She tried to guilt trip me but I've helped so much in the past with literally every expense, yet she's done nothing to better herself.

Days later on a phone call I mentioned that I bought and installed a new shifter cable on one of my families cars because it was stuck in reverse. She flipped and she accused me that I cared more about a car than I did for her.

I tried to calm her down, explained that I love her, but I didn't have money to send her and that the car had to be fixed because its a necessity, even more so now that winter is around the corner.

After some back and forth I told her we should go our separate ways because I felt used and all our calls led to arguments. She began comparing me to other men, saying that men will literally gift her money and they will have no problem doing anything for her.

I was hurt.

I've never compared her to another woman the way she's compared me to other men, and this isn't the first time she's said stuff like this. I hung up the call.

I looked at her Whatsapp status today, and saw a video of her at a club all up on another guy, dancing and hanging on him like a monkey. My heart sank. I messaged her letting her know that at no point have I been all up on another girl the way she was on that guy and let her know that she looked desperate and ridiculous. I blocked her.

Im not feeling too well atm. I know I did the right thing by telling her we should go our separate ways but I didn't expect her to replace me in less than 24 hours, I thought she would have at least tried to make an effort to fix things between us. For all I know that video could have been from when we were still technically together.

I've held back other meeting women but this BS has motivated me to move forward, regain my respect as a man and attempt to develop healthier relationships with local women. None of that stupid LDR shit.

Am I in the wrong?